Wow - what a blow. I can't imagine. You are doing the right thing by keeping up a warm countenance and smiling face to them. They truly don't understand their choice and don't mean to hurt you. You handling it in the way you are means you will have their hearts forever, even if their bodies are not with you for awhile. God will give you the strength to carry on one minute at a time.

nm

Well, it goes on. Now she has told dh that there is way for us to see her messages without having her password - not that she has said how. He wants to check out her story with her big brothers. Dh is being manipulated by dd. She has a way to do this to him and it plays into his faults to bring out the worst in him - making a choice to please her in spite of his basic parenting values, and yes, it can be them against me. Of course, he is responsible for his choices and attitudes. I thought I was doing good by shutting up for 24 hours - but his attitude towards me and her is the same. She manipulates him and my opinion as a mother means nothing. He knows he has no good answers for this so he gets very rude to me instead. I have a daughter to protect and this will get worse if he continues down this road. I am trying to protect her from guys and men who may prey on her. There is one known for doing that who lives 1 mile from our house and goes to church with us (a teenage boy). She is not invulnerable to his charms, as my dh has even pointed out. I don't see her getting a driver's license and unmonitored facebook at the same time as a good thing.

Praying.

Thanks for the encouragement. I think that if I can keep my mouth shut (so as not to make him feel he has to support her to show me he is the boss) and he gets the same info you'all are giving me, he will probably stick to his guns.

I know I sound harsh, but she has wanted a facebook account for years. We have said she could have one at a certain age and that we would have complete access to it. None of this is news either, although she is acting like it is (which is making me not trust her). Now, she throws a fit and my dh is considering caving. It is not unusual for him to act this way. It is sometimes hard to co-parent under these conditions. When this happens, I have to walk away and let him deal with the resulting mess - otherwise he changed the rules and I have to deal with the mess and he pretends a mess isn't there. No, this isn't my idea of parenting together, but I had to adjust.

Well, either I have her password, or not. There is no reason to compromise. If my dh chooses to, well then she is his problem and he can deal with her.

Snowfall, she didn't specify when she logs in. And that would mean I would have to read her account every time she logged in - how inconvenient for me. I appreciate you educating me on this though.

She is known for having an attitude (with me), but not for getting into trouble. However, I am not naive enough to think that nothing could ever happen. I also don't see her as being so strong that she would never get into trouble. I want this to not be an area to be argued about all the time - because that is what will happen if the rules are not firm and enforced. Any more arguments, and I am seriously considering withdrawing privileges for next school year. I have other children and my dh and myself to take care of and tend to get very distracted by emotional stuff. She does not have any type of diagnosis, she is just a typical teenage girl who likes to push it, so there is no reason to put up with ranting and raving, etc.

So basically, unless I have her password, I can't see everything on her account, which is what I thought. Yes, for me this is a hill to die on. Dh may differ (to please dd), although this would be out of character for him in regards to his typical level of protection and directly contradict what our agreement is. Maybe I need to be thankful that this incident has revealed that she is not as mature as I thought she was.

She's 16.

My concern is that she can hide things from us (whether messages are appropriate or not, who her friends are, etc.) if we don't have her password. I don't have facebook, so I don't know how this works. She is trying to tell us that we can see everything whether or not we have her password. For someone who is pulling the you don't trust me rant, she sure is making me trust her less than I ever have.

My dd finally got her own facebook acct. The deal was we would have her password. Because of a semi-family emergency I let her set it up without giving us the password at the time of setting it up. She now claims we never said we had to have the password. Dh is starting to cave. This has been understood for two years - the two years we told her she had to wait until a certain age to have a facebook acct. Dh wants to know what we can see with her password and what we can see without it. My blood is boiling - at her but mainly at dh for starting to flake out about this. And she used "frikking" in her rant about the issue. I know that's a bad word and she will be disciplined for it, but anyone know how bad? Oh, and any plans I had for her to drive herself to cc next year for dual enrollment have evaporated. I thought she was becoming more cooperative, but after tonight I have visions of two years of fights over where she went, where we said she could go, no,we never said that, etc. and dh flaking out right and left. I don't do constant fights.

I am in a co-op which is wanting to use this curriculum with highschoolers. The teacher will have 40 minutes every other week to teach this, and homework will be collected every week. The co-op meets for 12 weeks each in the spring and in the fall. Does this sound doable? Some of the kids will be a bit behind in grammar, but the teacher says it will be their parent's responsibility to help them with the homework.

Well, I guess we are still undecided. Yes, it is driving me nuts. I found out today that through an oversight on my son's part he missed out on an interview for a scholarship to his school of choice. There was only one scholarship of this type awarded, so he may not have gotten it anyway, but I did feel very disappointed. Now, we are waiting on one more scholarship notification from this school, which should be arriving by tomorrow, if the school stuck to their deadline. That and the issue that my son won't visit his second choice school at all. Yes, I am ready for this child's college application process to be over with. But, you know, he's a great young man - I need to not sweat the small stuff. Beebalm - are both schools equally good choices? Is it a matter of the best scholarships/financial aid to cost factor?