How long have you been a SAHM or sahd

[lynn]

When did you go back to work part/full time. Would you choose career over staying home if you had ideal childcare i.e. grandparent, dad, close friend that would do the hsing you desire for your children?

 

I just read an interesting article of Secret Lives of Soccer Mom's and this poor women is being battered harshly imo for choosing to have a career after being home for 8 years. Is it wrong. I have friends that just can not stay home for their income is necessary. I certainly do not judge them. They've had creative childcare through the years. I have been home for 15yrs. I did work a seasonal one holiday and worked in paid child care at a church but that's about it. I count it a blessing to have been able to stay home with my children hsing some, sending others to school it's been a good road for me and I am thankful for it. Would I choose career well, not then but now as dh thinks about retirement in 7 years and can be home yes I will go back to work. We'll have 2out of school by then and 1 highschool and 1 elementary school.

[Tammy]

nt

[Quiver0f10]

I have been a SAHM for 19 years and have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. My baby is only 3 so I have a while to think about it.

[Amy in Orlando]

I've been home for :w00t:15 years. (How did that happen?) I like being home with the kids and I enjoy homeschooling. All things being equal, I wouldn't change my life. I have changed so much since having kids that I can't imagine going back to something similar to my old job. I like my little home business and the freedom that and homeschooling afford us.

 

But, I think there are tons of women who are much happier to go back to work after being home for a few years. If they can stay sane and juggle everything, more power to them. I think so much depends on each woman's personality and how things work within each family.

[Lorna in the boonies]

In May, it will be 15 years since I left the workforce. I had actually become a mother three months earlier, but I had to go back and finish up the school year before I could quit completely.

 

Love it, love it, love it. We're really making some sacrifices in order to keep it up right now, but it's worth it to us. (My oldest doesn't think it's worth it, but she doesn't get to call the shots.)

[Beth in Central TX]

Actually, I had a very successful career, but chose to be a SAHM in 2002 when our 3rd son was born. It cut our income in half when I stopped working, but you know, we do just as well on one income as we did on two. I found that we wasted a lot of our extra money (we only found Dave Ramsey 3 years ago). I have no plans to ever go back to work unless I absolutely need to for financial reasons. DH is in complete agreement. In April, I will celebrate my 6th anniversary of being a SAHM. I'm looking forward to many, many more.

[Mary H]

I did go to school in 1991, and had a job for 2 months but left and stayed home. I have ben homeschooling since 1996. Graduated 2 ds and have 2 left. Next year they are going to a Christian School. Just can't handle them with everything that is going on right now. :crying:

 

Mary H

[Daisy]

I've been a SAHM for almost 9 years. I worked until we moved here to SoCal which has been over 12 years so I guess I became a SAHW until we had children. I'm fortunate in that my DH never saw my working as an ideal. He isn't the type to demand I stay at home or anything like that. He just wants to make sure that he is providing for his family. I'm amazed at how many husbands here in SoCal actually put pressure on their wives to contribute to the family income. My best friend constantly feels like she isn't contributing. I have issues with that mentality.

 

There are families, who although one income would be ideal, just cannot survive on one income. I'm sad for them. Then there are families who have very different priorities than my DH and I. That's their choice. However, we strongly feel that children do best with one parent at home.

 

I imagine I will never go back to work unless it becomes financially necessary (as in my DH is disabled or something) because even after the kids are gone, my Dh will enjoy having his SAHW back. BTW, as a SAHW, I was able to do a lot of volunteer work at the hospital and with local relief agencies but without being tied to a paycheck. I loved that.

[momo4]

11yrs and :iagree: I don't know what I want to be when I grow up either. Certainly not what I went to college for.

[Jennifer in MI]

12 years ago, I was happily working in human resources making three times as much as my dh. I got pregnant and was planning to go back to work as a work share with another woman. Then, I had my baby. I knew pretty soon that there was NO WAY I was going back to work! I just couldn't imagine leaving my ds!! Dh and I made it! He had a job where we knew he'd be getting better pay soon. I'm so happy we made that decision!

 

So, I've been home ever since - nearly 12 years now.

[Valerie in Chicago]

A few months after DD1 was born, DH came home for four months. I have the same certification as he does, so when they needed a sub, guess who they used? So we had two paychecks with only one of us going in every day. (here's hoping CPS never gets around to auditing the school......)

 

But I hated it. I didn't want to tell him, but I did. I was nursing, there was no where to pump except an unheated faculty bathroom, I was exhausted, etc. Plus, I just missed my baby!!!

 

At Spring Break, we switched back. I went through the motions of looking for a job for the next fall, but eventually told DH that I didn't actually want one. His response was, "then turn off the computer. you're done looking." That was about four years ago.

 

I tutored at a Huntington Learning Center for about a year. Then tutored a friend's daughter for about another year after that. Occasionally tutoring on the side is all I want to do really.

[Just Me]

I have been a SAHM since my oldest was born almost 13 years ago. (ACK - how did that happen so quickly?!)

 

That said, I do work part-time as the assistant to our church's music minister, but my time is VERY flexible, so I barely consider it working!

 

I really think I will always be a SAHM, even if we don't have any more children. I don't really want to be tied to a job, and I like the flaxibilty of being able to accompany my dh on trips. Of course, I may change my mind when the kids are gone, and I am bored!! :bored:

[Emmy]

I left my career 9 years ago to start our family. It's almost hard to believe it's been that long! I have a hard time imagining going back to work in a career type job - it was so much stress when I was working. But I think it's possible I'll work again at some point - I miss parts of it.

[Only me]

I've been a SAHM since oldest dd was born 15 1/2 years ago and I've enjoyed almost every minute of it.

 

I will most likely have to figure out a job when my next dd starts high school because I will have to pay for 2 tuitions. The problem is my ds will still be home so I'm hoping to find a job to do at home or a part time job with flexible hours.

[Diana in OR]

I have been a sahm for almost 15 years. I know very few moms who have been sahms even until their dc were in school. *If* I have both dc in school next year, I *might*try to get my substitute teacher's certificate, then I'd only work during school hours, and certainly not every day. If I get elected to City Council, that certainly qualifies as a pt job, although it is volunteer.

 

If I hadn't hsed, I'd probably have gotten some sort of pt job when my dc were in school, or at least lots of volunteer work.

 

I don't regret for a minute the years I spent/am spending at home with my boys. It goes so quickly! :auto:

[Rich with Kids]

I've been a homeschooling SAHM for almost 4 years. I plan to be a professional travelling companion to my DH after graduating my youngest dd. :D

[RoughCollie]

I've been a SAHM since I got pregnant with my boys. I was on bed rest during the entire 6 month pregnancy, so I had to quit my job as soon as I found out I was pregnant.

[mcconnellboys]

I'm working on ten years at home, since we moved here and I began homeschooling my sons. I had worked 20-40 hours per week since I was 11 in my family's business; worked off and on throughout college; and had always worked since that time until we moved here (so most of 27 years).... I'm sort of happy to be able to make my own schedule and do my own thing for once in my life, to tell you the truth!

 

Regena

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

12 years ago, I was happily working in human resources making three times as much as my dh. I got pregnant and was planning to go back to work as a work share with another woman. Then, I had my baby. I knew pretty soon that there was NO WAY I was going back to work! I just couldn't imagine leaving my ds!! Dh and I made it! He had a job where we knew he'd be getting better pay soon. I'm so happy we made that decision!

 

So, I've been home ever since - nearly 12 years now.

 

Don't miss it at all. I will probably go back to work to pay for their college.

[Plaid Dad]

I became a SAHD in 2001, although I'd been running a home-based business for a couple of years before that. I did a stint of part-time, away-from-home work in the summer and fall of 2005 when our dd was 4, and then began tutoring part-time this past fall. Otherwise my paid work has been home-based. It's looking like I will be teaching at a school about half-time starting this fall, at which point my dw and I will split the homeschooling responsibilities more equally.

 

My dw has worked full-time from home since she was pregnant with dd in 2001. She transitioned from telecommuting for a CA-based computer company to freelancing in 2003.

[Harriet Vane]

I did consider continuing my career, and did, in fact, take in freelance proofreading and editing with hopes of segueing over to a tidy editing business (no proofreading--I prefer editing).

 

It was hard for me to give up my business, but I needed to do so. I was losing too much sleep, and I didn't bring in enough income to justify hiring a sitter. (Although dh was supportive of whatever I wanted to do--he likes me to be happy.:))

 

About a year and a half after giving up my business I felt as though God wanted me to teach inductive Bible study skills. I don't think I'll ever go back to editing now, though for a long time I thought I might. I really, really enjoy holding seminars and teaching these skills. I do wonder from time to time if I might do this in greater capacity when the kids are grown. So far I have been holding these classes semi-regularly for about nine years (though I did teach these classes prior to that also, in my capacity as Sunday School director at two different churches).

 

I have NO issues with a mother choosing to have a career, mostly because it's none of my business. Many applaud my being a SAHM, but really if you totaled the hours I spend teaching free seminars, it amounts to a part-time job at times. Folks don't view it the same way because these are volunteer hours, and often people view the hours as in a different category because the seminars are my "ministry."

 

I do hope that parents will choose options that allow their child to spend the vast majority of their time with a parent or beloved family member. I have a HUGE amount of respect for the way SWB and her husband and mother work together to school the kids and have careers. Sharing the responsibilities in this manner seems to me the best way to have a family and a career. Or if family to help is not an option, a carefully chosen caregiver can be wonderful. I had an acquaintance, years ago, who employed a full-time nanny who truly did love and treat these children as her own and who was considered to be one of the family--it was a good situation for all concerned.

[Jenny in Atl]

12 years this past January. :cheers2:

[Amy loves Bud]

I stayed home for one year when Luke was born, then worked for one year, then came home for good just before Peyton was born almost 8 years ago. I am so happy and I really can't imagine going back to medicine.

 

Bud and I do hope to do pseudo-fulltime mission work when the kids are older and the US semiconductor industry has finally fizzled for good, but I have very definite ideas about what I will be doing and it doesn't seem like "work" to me.

[momtolgd]

I've been home since my oldest was about 9 weeks old...that was in October 2000, so 7 1/2 years. I took my 6 week maternity leave, and went back to work...DH wasn't working at the time and was home with ds. I was very homesick to be with our son, and was not ready to go back to work. I was happy that he was with DH, but didn't like leaving every morning.

 

I actually lost that job because of a breast pumping issue along with my "attitude" (I was not ready to be back at work)...long story, but it turned out to be a blessing for us. We moved close to DH's parents and he got a job and I've been a SAHM since then.

 

I was a home child care provider for a while and really liked it...then dh was transferred here, and we moved, and I haven't done any work since. I want to start a clarinet studio where I can give lessons. (Clarinet was my passion before I met my husband and we started having kids.)

 

I consider it such a blessing that I am home with my children. Our youngest is only 1, so we have many more years ahead before he's an adult...who knows where life will lead us, but hopefully I will be able to continue staying home.

[TammyinTN]

I've been at home since 1995 when hubby finished school and went back into the military. I love being at home and homeschooling is definitely an exciting journey. :D

[OnTheBrink]

I became a SAHM when I was 5 months pregnant with my 10 year old. Once she's in college, I'm not sure what I'll do. Maybe go back to school or marry a rich man. I dunno. LOL

[Musical Belle]

I came home for good when dd was born in 2001. (I worked just a few hours a week when ds was a baby). I have taught piano lessons at home for nine years and I am also our church pianist. I am tremendously blessed to be able to do the two things I love the most: teach my 3 at home and play the piano (and actually get paid for it!).

[jail warden]

I still work 1 day every other week doing the office work for my parents small business. I also don't see that much as work, as I love what I do and it's very flexible, which helps because my dh's shift changes and days off are weird. I could see doing office work full time once my kids are all grown and gone, but not now. I'm busy enough homeschooling, gardening, cleaning, etc!

[Stephanie in FL]

It will be 13 years this May since I have been a SAHM. I have done some freelance work on the side, but have opted the past few years not to do anymore. I have a tendency due to my OCD to put forth all of my energy into my work when I work. Therefore, all of my energy is now focused on my family and our home schooling journey. I could not balance both work and family. I am very blessed to have a supportive husband and family that supports my desire to be home.

[WTMindy]

taught full time in the public schools until dd was born. Then I stayed home with the kids. When I started homeschooling, I started teaching at our district's parent partnership program. The first year I was two mornings a week and my dd (K) was taking classes and my ds (3.5) either went to Grandma's house, or came with me and sat in on my classes. Now, that both kids are older, I teach two full days a week and they attend classes.

 

I still consider myself a SAH mom, but I work two days a week. I love the balance I get from this. I never thought I would go back to teaching, but I'm so thankful that God placed my dream job in my lap!!

[Jennifer in NH]

My oldest will be 8 in September, so I have been a SAHM since her birth. I stopped working 1 month before she was born.

We had already been married for 10 years before we had children and we planned finacially for me to stay home...We never relied on my income for major purchases, like cars or a house. My youngest is not quite 2 and unless something terrible and lifechanging happens I have no intention of going back to work!

It would be nice to try and start a small home business, but doing what...who knows!

[Kay in Cal]

My dh has been a SAHD since our oldest son was born--six years now. He has done freelance writing during that time, and still has his "day off" on Wednesdays, when he drives down to work in his favorite comic book store with his good friends. I know that he struggles with maintaining his personal identity when he is just "the boy's dad" most of the places he goes... but the actual daily parenting stuff he loves.

 

I work full time as a pastor, often from home (like now) during the day, though I have far more evening and weekend meetings and committments than I would like. I work a lot of hours, but I try to do most of my writing at night or when the boys are doing school, so we can spend lots of time together. I do dislike missing family dinner so often, but we have family breakfast together every day, and I'm rarely out of the house for more than 3-4 hours at a time. I like my schedule fully integrated with my life.

 

I enjoy that we have a lifestyle where it is rare that we aren't both in contact with our children for several hours a day, that we really get to co-parent and rejoice in our family together. I did attend a training seminar this past Friday/Saturday, and was out of the house all day from morning to night--I can't imagine how folks can live that way! My boys missed me so much, they just draped themselves over me to watch a movie that night.

[clane]

I worked reduced hours for a number of years, but quit to be a full time SAHM in April 2004.

[Scarlett]

I've been home since 3 weeks before ds was born 8 years ago. I think dh often wishes I contributed an actual salary to our income, but I doubt I will go back to work---maybe ever---but certainly not until ds is gone or at least doing high school or college work. Then I may use the real estate license I got just before I found out I was pregnant with ds.

 

I feel strongly that kids need to be with one of their parents most of the time. And while of course it is none of my business if a mother chooses to leave her kids and pursue a career, it nonetheless makes me sad for her children. An exception to my feelings on that is when the dad can be home with the kids and it makes more sense because the mom makes more money.

 

JMO. YMMV.

[dangermom]

I've never really worked full time in a career. After my husband graduated from college, I quit my menial jobs and went to grad school for my MLIS. Then I worked as a sub in local libraries (about 30 hrs/week?) until we moved up here, at which point I was hugely pregnant with our first. I've been at home for 8 years, but I work a bit at the library--a few days a month. I'll go back to library work once the kids are grown, depending on how things work out with the homeschooling. I'm very blessed in that my husband supports me in whatever I want to do and doesn't pressure me.

[Chris in VA]

I've been home 8 years this week! Before that, I worked part time. My boys were in school. During their preschool years, they came to work with me (a cooperative preschool w/multiage grouping, so I saw and worked with them every day--half day, that is). I've never worked full time and had kiddos.

That may change next year.

[Jean in IN]

I've been at home for 11 years. I worked PRN for a little over a year after ds was born, but have been home ever since.

Oh, I've tried selling different stuff over the years, but that's so not my thing! I don't even wear make-up, how did I think I was going to sell it! :)

[Mrs. Readsalot]

Being a SAHM has been the best job of my life.

I have cherished every phase of it.

I would not change a minute of it.

I feel very, very blessed.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

for 12 years. For about 2 years I worked as the school-age teacher at a local daycare, but, otherwise, I was full-time mom!

[Tess in the Burbs]

My DH and I had planned that I would be home until they went to school...and then he liked the homeschool idea for elementary...and now we hope to school all the way!

 

I quit working in 2001. I do not plan to go back to work until they are off in college and then I have no idea what I will do. I may pursue an accounting degree and do my own accounting business. I did that kind of work for a year after college and was very successful in it. Surprised me ;-) My other thought would be just to take classes that interest me and garden. But we will see.

[Elm in NJ]

dh was SAHD for 1 year while I finished my Masters and I intended to go back for my Ph.d after 2 years.

 

Elmeryl

[Diann]

It will be 19 years this August that I became a SAHM. I was working as a chemist and was up for a promotion , but dh and I decided that me being at home was more important. I do plan to go back to work after graduating our youngest, now 12. I liked working in a lab and hope to get back to it.

 

Diann

[Kari C in SC]

I have only been a complete SAHM for about 18 months. I have been homeschooling for nearly 10 years. I spent 12 years working part-time in the office and part-time from home. The last 6 years of my employment, I only went to the office 2 mornings a week. Even though I was employed, I was home most of the time. That is why I sorta always felt like a SAHM even though technically I was employed. My kids are 19, 9 and 3. None of them have ever been in a daycare situation because of my dh and I juggling it or my wonderful mother watching them. I think we were truly blessed to be able to have our lives this way. The last 18 months of actually not being employed seemed strange to me. I was just so used to working. For 9 of the last 18 months, I had a terrific severence package - technically - I was still contributing to our income. The last 9 months have been where I always thought we would be when we married 18 years ago. I saw myself staying home and my dh providing. It just took us a while to get to that point. I don't regret the time I worked at all. I learned so much and developed so many good relationships from the experience. I view it as a season of my life. Now, my season seems to have changed to one where I am able to stay home exclusively. I have many friends that would love to be home and they really, honestly do not have a choice. It is not always easy to just choose to stay at home. We literally had to move from Florida to South Carolina so we could afford for me to stay home and continue to homeschool. For some, a radical change of moving, is just not feasible. It just happened to work for us. Will I ever go back to work? Probably. I just don't know when or what I would be doing. I will have to wait for that next season to come around my way.

[Susan in TX]

I have been a SAHM for 18 years. And since I'm currently expecting another baby, I'll likely be a SAHM for another 18 years. At that point, I'll be 57...maybe not quite old enough for retirement, but I hope to be a grandma by then. I have no intention of ever returning to the paid workforce unless I have to out of dire necessity.

 

Susan in TX

[Mrs. H.]

10 years, off and on. When dh and I married, we were both still in college, and I have occasionally worked, but always as a daycare teacher in a facility where my oldest went, so I was still with her all day.

 

I haven't worked at an outside job in 6 years. Lord willing, I never will again, but I might do some work from home when the dc are older.

[Tutor]

I've been a SAHHSM for almost 12 years. I quit working one month before my oldest was born. I was in graduate school at the time, too, so I took a semester off to have my dd then went back for my final semester (that was a little crazy :willy_nilly: ).

 

Now I work from home, and I love it. I always pictured myself as a lab person, but I am really enjoying writing. I would feel privileged to continue doing this for awhile. When my dh finishes grad school, I would like to go back to school myself (I am not as brave or organized as PariSarah to try to go to school at the same time as my dh). I have always wanted to be a forensic anthropologist, but the more I ponder and observe the world around me, I think I would like to go to medical school and open a cash or barter only health clinic and provide house calls to families with children, shut ins and the elderly a few days per week. I don't know if this will even be possible given my age when dh graduates, but it's my dream for now.

 

At this stage in life, I love being home with my munchkins, supporting my dh in his schooling, and using my other gifts as well ('cause, let's face it, housekeeping is not my gift and I envy those who have that talent). I am content. Poor, but content. ;)

[Krista in LA]

Yep, she got kicked out of daycare when she was about 20 months old. I started working from home 3 days a week and dh did the other 2 days. A few months later, we moved so I was able to work from home all the time but I cut back on my hours. I guess that makes it nearly 11 years I've been home. I did work part time for a few more years before I became a full time SAHM rather than a WAHM. It's probably been about 7 years since I quit working from home.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have been a SAHM for 11 years. I count homeschooling as a part-time job in addition to the SAHM job. Now that my ds is in 5th grade and dd needs lots of input with 1st grade, my homeschooling job is occasionally the equivalent of a full-time job!

[nukeswife]

2 as a SAHwife and now 8 more (almost 9) as a SAHM, basically I haven't worked since getting married.

 

My dh is in the Navy and it's so hard for me to have a job since we move so much. I've found many places don't want to hire you if they know you're most likely going to move in 18 months or so.

 

It's perfectly alright with me. I did enjoy what I did before I got married, but I enjoy being home. I even liked staying home before I had kids. It gave me time to work on quilts and do other crafts I enjoy. My dh loved it to as there was never any conflict with schedules when a big Navy function would come up.

[Gamom3]

The day our second son was born, I became a SAHM. I have been homeschooling for 9yrs. Hopefully I will be able to homeschool 8 more years then I have NO clue what I will do.