Did you and spouse agree on hs right away?

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I am afterschooling my two boys because I read WTM a couple years ago, and simply love the classical education model. I would love to do this full time with them. My older ds has always been verbally advanced and can read very well. He got almost nothing out of kindergarten last year.

 

My second ds started kindergarten this year and doesn't seem to care one way or the other about it. We did handwriting, First Language Lessons, a little math, and some science experiments over the summer. My sisters both homeschool, and one of my sisters made library cards for her kids to pick out books from each genre. My mom made some for my kids, and they love picking out the books from their cards. So, we get plenty of reading. I make them read individually, too. We work on phonics, and younger DS is making his way through the Bob books.

 

My problem is my husband. He is adamantly opposed to homeschooling, although he really has no solid proof to back up his reasons. He has the idea that homeschooled kids are too sheltered and weird and cannot cope with the world. He also thinks the kids need to make peer connections that they will carry with them into adulthood. We chose to live in this neighborhood because the public schools are ranked highly, but I don't see this as a result of anything the schools are doing. I believe it is because parents who value education and place a high emphasis on their children's success move here for the schools. It is the parents' involvement and concern that motivates the high test scores.

 

School has been in session for 1 week. Last night, dh sat down with both boys and asked them specific questions about what they did in school. 1st grader said he had 3 recesses. Dh asked, "What did you learn today?" Ds replied, "Nothing." Dh asked, "You didn't learn one thing today?" Ds, "No." Dh, "Did you do any work at all?" Ds, "We worked on our classroom quilt." I interjected, "Aren't you going to reading group?" Ds, "No." Me, "I thought you were supposed to be in reading group?" Ds, "I don't know." But, this didn't seem to phase Dh.

 

At school for 6 hours, had 3 recesses and worked on a quilt. What a waste of time!

 

I've asked Dh to read WTM, at least the first two chapters, and he said he would, but he still hasn't. How did you come to agree that homeschooling was the right choice for your family?

[RebeccaS]

Well, my dh and I had already decided we'd like to homeschool our future children before we met. Our second weekend together had a conversation that went like this:

 

Me: So, do you like kids? How many do you want?

Him: Yes, I want at least 3. I want my kids to be homeschooled. Do you?

Me: Me too!

 

It was love!:D

 

Seriously, though, we both felt a very strong calling to homeschooling. We want to be the central influence on our children. We don't feel that there is much basis for insisting on peer relationships. Dh and I are 12.5 years apart in age. We have friends of all ages. (and we always have) So, that argument really doesn't hold water for us.

 

Can you sit down with your dh and really lay out how you feel, then ask for a trial period? Maybe this year and then test the kids to see how they rank? I'm sorry. I've been blessed by a super supportive dh and family.:grouphug:

[*********]

Lynne, that's a tough situation. :grouphug:

 

No, my dh and I did not agree on homeschooling from the beginning. It was my idea first. Dh was very resistant. I think mostly because it was just a completely foreign concept to him, combined with the fact that it wasn't his idea. (I don't mean that as a slam against dh; just that dh is *sometimes initially resistant and/or critical of an idea because it wasn't his idea. I'm sure I'm guilty of that sometimes myself.) Also, dh was assuming/counting on me returning to my career field once our two boys were old enough to be in full-day school.

 

I wanted to homeschool for 'religious' reasons. I wanted my dc to be educated with the goal, first and foremost, of leading them to Christ. Dh I'm sure would have agreed with that, even four years ago when I first mentioned homeschooling the boys. His thinking was, at the time, that since his older son and daughter (from a relationship before our marriage) were going to public school, then so should our children. We were able to teach them our values even though they were in ps.

 

So, I prayed. (I don't know if you're Christian or not, so please, take no offense to this paragraph if not. :001_smile:) I prayed that the Lord would either change my heart, or change dh's heart. I just wanted us to be in agreement. But the more I prayed, the more I felt sure that the Lord wanted us to homeschool. So, I kept praying, and decided to avoid bringing up the subject to dh directly. My oldest boy was just two when I first discussed hs with dh, so I figured there was plenty of time for the Lord to work it out, and that 'nagging' dh about it would likely just backfire, ykwim?

 

Well, praise the Lord, oldest ds is 6 now, and dh is fully supportive of hs. In fact, I asked dh a few months ago this hypothetical question: 'dh, what would you say if I said I wanted to put the boys in ps?'. I was genuinely interested. (Dh is a wonderful man, and very supportive of homeschooling. However, he is not vocal or very involved at this point, so I was just, I dunno, 'double checking' that he is happy with the decision.) He replied something like 'well, if you really did feel that way, and I KNOW you don't, then we'd really have to pray about it, because I don't think that'd be a good idea at all'. WOO HOO! And again, PRAISE THE LORD!

 

What changed in the past four years? Well, like I said, I kept praying. Also, we have four more years of experience with dh's older children and public school, which has been hugely eye-opening. Also, we've met other Christian families that homeschool. And, dh and I have grown tremendously in the Lord, and our priorities have shifted quite a bit; dh and I no longer wish for me to return to a 'career field', so to speak. (I bet we could all agree that being a wife, mother, and homeschooler is quite a career in itself!)

 

I pray you and your dh can come to an agreement. I try to remember to keep that paramount in my mind when dh and I disagree. I shouldn't care who 'get's their way', but if it's a sitaution where there's really no compromise, then I just want us both to be in agreement and at peace with the decision.

 

:grouphug:

[HFClassicalAcademy]

When our oldes was almost 3, I decided I wanted to homeschool. I told my DH and he said, "Sounds good. Why don't you do some research?" I did and that's when I read the WTM...I was sold!! I gave the book to DH and he read the first few chapters and said, "If you think you are up to the challenge and that you can dedicate yourself to this...I think it would be awesome!"

 

So DH had never heard of homeschooling before (neither had I for that matter!), but all our research pointed to this being the right thing for us. Most importantly, we felt God was leading us in this direction.

 

Good luck!!

 

Liz in NC

[lulubelle]

We are onto our 2nd year of hs our 7, 5, and almost 3 year old. We live in a very good ps area and had full intentions of sending our kids to school. My dh was against the thought of hs. He would always say that ps was good enough for him! But, we decided to seek some wise council, about 6 months before kindergarten began for our first, from a couple we both respect highly and that led us to deciding to hs.

[Remudamom]

Our homeschooling came about when dh was on the BOE. He came home from a meeting and announced that we were going to homeschool. Our oldest was three at the time. I thought it was the stupidest idea I'd ever heard.

 

Thank goodness he knows how to hold his ground with me.

[Night Elf]

My DH was not sure about it when I first mentioned it. Because he is such a logical person, I researched, gathered information and presented it to him like a formal presentation. He was able to approach the decision from an informed position. This whole process took about a month. He finally decided to give me a year to see how things would go. If things didn't go well, we'd put our son back into public school and he would not be behind his classmates since he was already ahead of them when we pulled him out. If it did work out, I would continue.

 

After 2 months of full-time homeschooling, my DH thanked me for bringing such a great idea to our family. The changes we saw in our son in only 2 months were extremely significant. We were sure there would be even more as time went by. And we were right! DH has had no desire to put the kids back into school. He believes we offer a much higher education than our school system.

[Heidi @ Mt Hope]

I told my husband a week after we started dating that I would be homeschooling my children. I thought he should know what he was getting himself into, particularly since he was a public school teacher. :) He surprised me by saying he thought that could be a great option. We were talking marriage within about 6 weeks, and he has been consistently supportive over our 13 years of marriage, 8 years of parenting, and 3 years of homeschooling. (Oh, and he hated teaching in the public schools and switched careers.)

 

You're in a tough spot {{Lynne}}. You've been doing the right things. I have really appreciated the book Family Matters: Why Homeschooling Makes Sense. The author is a public school teacher (high school), and he and his wife homeschool their four children. Even if your husband won't read it, it might be helpful for you to read the information in the book so that you can answer some of your husband's questions.

[elegantlion]

We decided to homeschool because we couldn't afford private school tuition anymore. The public schools in that area were not an option, so we chose homeschooling.

 

Ds was in private school for prek and K and it would drive me crazy that he couldn't remember what he did in school. I'd get the "I don't know" "I don't remember" stuff everyday. I had the option to go to back to work full time and continue with private school. I vehemently did not want to go back to work, have us all in separate areas for the better part of our day and then all be exhausted in the evening. For us it really was about developing more quality family time. That is what sold my dh on homeschooling.

 

He's self-employed and works irregular hours so it's so nice to have flexibility in our schooling times and allow ds to stay up later in the evening.

 

My dh didn't tell me until after our first year of homeschooling that he had some serious doubts that I was disciplined enough to pull it off. Proved him wrong. He has since changed his mind.

 

Have you researched support groups in your area where you could connect with other families? That might alay some of his fears.

 

I never pushed my dh to see my side of the picture, but I did pray a lot and armed myself with information so I felt prepared to answer his questions. He agreed to a trial period and we took it from there.

[vettechmomof2]

yes.Hubby and I were always in aggreement on hs. Our families talked to us about it but they fell in line wiht our viewpoints not too long there after.

[katilac]

Can you specifically address dh's concerns? Find out about any home school groups in your area and their activities, investigate possible extra-curricular activities for now and when they're older, list all the ways that hs kids can be less sheltered than ps kids (because they have a freer schedule to travel, volunteer, work, pursue their interests).

 

Read, read, read about hs'ing and the different ways people carry it out. Read books and message boards and talk to local hs'ers. If you don't know any, join a group now; don't wait to actually be hs'ing. Some groups have evening meetings that include activities for the kids; that might be a great way to scope out the local scene.

 

Your dh has a certain image of hs'ing, and many hs'ers do fit it. Many do choose to shelter their children to a point that your dh is not comfortable with. These are valid concerns if that is not what he wants for the kids. But there are numerous ways of hs'ing! If your image of hs'ing is different from what he is picturing, make sure that he knows it.

 

The 'sheltering and socialization' objects are honestly the easiest to overcome, imo. He may not oppose your planned reality of hs'ing as much as he does his own image of it.

[RoughCollie]

I wanted to hs our kids. DH went along with it up until it was time for K. He insisted the boys go to K. They did not like it. Then he insisted the boys go to 1st grade.

 

I received a clear answer to prayer to let DH handle the school decisions, so I did.

 

December of 1st grade, I tested the kids and they had not learned a thing. After Christmas I started teaching them how to read and do 1st grade math.

 

By February, I was beside myself. The kids were in school all day, had homework which was busywork for me, and then had lessons covering what they should have learned in school.

 

I told DH I didn't think that was fair to the boys to be in school that many hours a day, and he said to take them out and hs them. My jaw hit the floor and my eyes popped out of my head. He had to convince me I wasn't hearing things. :D

 

Two of the DS had learned to read fluently by then, so they stayed in PS until 1st grade was over. The 3rd DS stayed home from the day DH said to hs.

[MeaganS]

I'm sort of facing this problem, although my daugher is younger than your kids. My husband is really concerned about "fixing what's not broke." He went to a good public school and turned out well, so why shouldn't our kids be fine too? He's also very concerned about socialization, and the standard argument I've seen about hs kids being able to socialize with all ages doesn't matter to him (or me really) because in our experience they've been weird with kids their own ages. A couple of arguments on socialization that I've come up with are:

 

First- HS kids are stereotypically "weird". I think this is because a lot of time their parents are "weird" too (In a good way!). In my experience, the weird ones are weird because their parents want them to be. Homeschooling attracts people with strong convictions and ideas, otherwise they wouldn't work so hard for it. A lot of times these people and their convictions seem weird to other people. People who are willing to deviate from the norm to homechool are often willing to deviate in other ways. However, to these parents, their kids are happy and like them. Weird is in the eye of the beholder, and not all weird is the same. I try to point out to my husband that his kids are going to like Rock and Roll because he does and it will be a part of our family. We are both very social and involved in the community, so our kids will be too. We are pretty normal by most standards, although not all, and we want our kids to be weird in those ways. They're YOUR kids and will be normal to you and others if you want them to be and work on it.

 

Second- In his opinion, public schools do a good job with socialization (I don't argue with him there because I find it best to make arguments based on things he believes). However, in order to get a good education, you have to do a lot of supplementing at home. Homeschooling may not be great for socialization but is good for academics, so, in order to get good socialization, you have to do a lot of supplementing. It's the same but in reverse!

 

Also a trial period is an excellent idea. Ask him how much he thinks you can screw up your kids in one year or half a year of homeschooling. The reasonable answer is not too much (at least it should be). Also, in the link I'll give you in a minute, there's a link to an MP3 that sums up WTM in an hour. If your hubby doesn't want to read the book, maybe he'll listen to something for an hour.

 

Anyways, those are my thoughts on the matter. Also, I asked a similar question a while back and got a good response. Here's the link. Good luck!

[ElizabethB]

Here are some good socialization links:

 

https://www.hslda.org/research/ray2003/Socialization.asp

 

http://www.redshift.com/~bonajo/socialresearch.htm

 

http://learninfreedom.org/socialization.html

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Wow, thanks, everyone. I truly appreciate all the responses.

 

I guess I should give a little more background. I don't want to get into any philosophical debates about religion, but I was raised in a Christian home and went to Christian schools, and most of my siblings are born again, Bible believing Christians who attend various denominations of church on a regular basis. As an adult, I choose to believe in God, but not in any particular religion. I think that our minds are too finite to comprehend God and that there is merit in all religions and that as long as people are trying to do what is right and good, they are okay by me. I don't ask anyone to believe as I do, and I don't judge anyone else for their beliefs. I find that people who have strong religious beliefs have strong minds and strong morals, even if I don't always agree with them.

 

My husband is Jewish, but more of a "traditional" Jew than a spiritual Jew. He wants the boys to associate themselves with the Jewish community, so we attend a reform temple that has many interreligious couples like us. He would probably be disappointed, but would get over it if they chose to become Christians at some point. They are constantly exposed to Christianity by my family and we celebrate both Jewish and Christian holidays in our home.

 

I do pray, and I do believe that God is listening and does answer prayer, but it's not an area I can approach dh about. Our religious views are very different.

 

Another thing, when I had a conversation with him last week about the math program they use in school, and going over my afterschooling plans, dh said that he didn't want our kids to be "too smart" and go around spouting off information about things to people all the time. I honestly didn't know how to respond to that. In the first place, older ds does this already. He's very bright and has spoken in clear diction since he was 2. It freaks people out. And, I agree that our kids are already going to be a little weird as it is, because we are weird parents! We are older- I'm 40 and dh is 50, and we don't exactly mesh with many of the parents in our dc's age ranges.

 

Because both of my sisters who have kids homeschool, I have researched support groups. Where my one sister lives, there are tremendous support systems, and she also participates in Classical Conversations. The problem I'm having is that the support groups I'm finding around here are a little too "Christiany" and I think he would have a problem with that. I would be very happy to start my own secular homeschooling group. Our community has very good sports programs, and both kids have participated in them, and I have looked into Cub Scouts and stuff like that, but he still thinks they need to have a bunch of school friends. His reasoning for that is because he still has a dozen friends from elementary school that he still talks to and sees on a regular basis.

 

Thanks again for your feedback. You have given me some ideas on how to keep approaching this. Dh did agree that last year was a waste of time, so maybe if this year is the same for the boys, I can get him to agree for next year.

[Carrie12345]

My husband was dead set against homeschooling.

 

I absolutely DO NOT recommend this to other people, but I basically told him he couldn't force me to take the kids to school, and he didn't have a schedule that would allow him to, so there weren't very many options.

 

We did start dd#1 with a cyber charter school, mostly to make dh feel better. A few months in, he was sold on home vs. classroom. By the end of the year, he was sold on homeschool vs. public school. Both dds were homeschooled the next year and, by the end of that year, he became a big homeschooling advocate.

 

In fact, he has some business associates he wants to introduce me to b/c they have a few questions about homeschooling that he felt I could answer better than he could.

 

All that said, keep in mind that little kids aren't always very forthcoming about their day, and sometimes don't recognize when they're actually learning. My kids will still tell their father (and grandparents, and aunts, and other random people) that they did nothing all day! :001_huh:

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I know that little kids often say "nothing" when asked what they did that day, but dh was asking him pointed questions, too, like "Did you color any pictures? Did you do any math? Did you go to gym? Did you write your name on any papers?" All of which my son answered in the negative. So, who knows what he did? This is why I like ds2's K teacher. She sends an email home everyday with a brief synopsis of what they did. I know that ds2 practiced writing his first and last names and the date, talked about the weather and the days of school chart, went to music, had rest time after lunch and recess, the teacher read Miss Bindergarten to them, they had snack, did a measurment game for math. Good to know.

 

Last year, I asked ds1's K teacher for a weekly email update on what she planned on covering in class. She sent me one once, and nothing after that. I have absolutely no idea what my son did in Kindergarten because all he ever told me about was what he played with in free choice. I became the "crazy parent in the office" by spring, so the principal put them in classes with "communicative" teachers. So far, the K teacher has been very communicative, but the 1st grade teacher hasn't really done much communicating, yet. Tonight is parent information night, so hopefully, I'll get some info!

[TraceyS/FL]

Actually, despite current events, yes he did agree right away. He never expressed negative about it this whole time (6 years).

 

It was only when i filed for divorce that he had something bad to say about it.

 

I hope you can work something out with him :grouphug:

[cdrumm4448]

We have been homeschooling for all of a month and my dh recently said he will attempt to refrain from making a decision regarding DS's progress until the end of the school year. Of course, this doesn't stop him from making unhelpful remarks when I am trying to keep the kids on track (when he's home during the day, which is not all the time since he works swing shift.)

 

He tends to stick his nose in when we're working and kind of messes up the routine. This causes needless discussion and arguing and is just a waste of time. So, dh needs to try to keep things to himself when we're in school.

 

I am still going full steam ahead. The kids and I need more than a month to get into a good routine with no complaining, whining or fighting. I keep pretty good records mainly so I can prove to my dh in May that hsing worked!

[Melinda in VT]

DH was reluctant, but he agreed I could try it for a year. (It was second grade and DS was already reading fluently. How badly could I screw him up?)

 

At the end of the year, I was the one who suggested putting him back in public school. DH was all set to keep homeschooling.

[kewb]

Dh was not on board in the beginning. It took two years but he finally agreed to give it a try. I did tons of research. Left reading material in the bathroom. Read interesting paragraphs out loud at night while reading in bed. What finally pushed him into the "okay, lets try it camp" was when he realized that this was not all or nothing. That we could try it for a year an evaluate. He also realized that we wouldn't screw up our kids any more then the public schools had.

[TravelingChris]

My dh is a big homeschool supporter. I think one big reason is because he has had to deal with lots of graduates of public school and he is not impressed. He also is not impressed with the education a lot of colleges are meting out. One of my husband;s first superiors in the military was homeschooling his children. That was before we even had any. They were well spoken and well behaved so I think that impressed my dh.

We started with my son in Christian school but even in that year, we had a six or seven week period we homeschooled with their curriculum while we were in a different state for a temporary school assignment. He took some time off from his studying and experiments to come to our first homeschool convention in Ohio in 1995. He has attended several since then and is always interested in what we are doing. I think one reason he is such a fan of homeschooling is that he is a big fan of lifelong learning.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Whenever someone hits me with the socialization question, I always tell them that I'd rather have my kids socialized by wild chimps :D Seriously!

 

While my hub was never the biggest opposition, it's come from our families, who do think the kids'll turn out weird. How weird could they be hanging out with me all day? HAHA, OK, don't answer. But it's not like they are sequestered in their closets and come out for lunch. They do activities and have friends and go to all the b-day parties, etc.

 

Tell your hubby you believe in selective socialization;)

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

selective[/i] socialization;)

 

 

I love it!

[Veritaserum]

Mine was opposed at first. I started thinking about it when our oldest was 2. He finally agreed to read some books about it when she was 4 and we made the decision when she was 5 (before kindergarten started).

[msjones]

My husband initially said, "absolutely not" to the idea of homeschooling.

 

He gradually came around as I spent more and more time working as a tutor for homeschoolers. I could not say enough about the effectiveness of the tutoring setting.

 

There was no avoiding the fact that it is more difficult and less efficient to teach a big, huge group of children with a multitude of needs and abilities.

 

So, here we are on year 5 (!), and I think he may actually be more committed to homeschooling than I am.

 

(He also said, "no livestock", and we just got our three adorable hens last week! ;))

[Mad Jenny Flint]

Her kids are now 16 and 15. Mine are 14 and 10 and we have hs'ed since the beginning. I don't even remember the decision being made. I just knew I wanted to be at home with my little boy. And, at 5, and after having had a mediocre experience at a pre-K program, he wasn't ready to go to public school. I had a sensitive, sweet little boy. He is still sensitive and sweet, but homeschooling has given him the environment he needs to step out of his shell and develop self-confidence in his own time. He is true to his values, has a number of friends and makes friends easily, and is just a great kid. I wouldn't change a thing. My daughter is having an equally positive experience with homeschooling.

 

Dh has always been totally on board with homeschooling and, in fact, has pushed me to keep on keeping on when it has been overwhelming for me. We have had many conversations about changing our lifestyle and various job changes have come along for him, but never, ever, ever has giving up homeschooling entered into the conversation. We have talked about giving up other things before we would arrange our lives so that homeschooling would not be possible, including selling the house and living much more simply than we do now (we own a modest home).

 

Our family has more time together, the kids are bright and challenged and learning, and they are growing into tremendous people who I feel genuinely privileged to know. They do well in school and have adapted nicely. I truly feel that, in order to adapt to a traditional school environment, they would have had to become different kinds of people, and the thought of that makes me sad.

 

So, if I had to do it over again with a resistant husband, it would be a hill to die on. Seriously. Everyone's experience is different, but that's mine.

[dirty ethel rackham]

The friends issue ... It is great that you husband has friends from elementary school. I would say that is definitely not typical. I went to the same grade school for 8 years and high school with many of the same kids. I am not in contact with any of them at all. People who were my best friends in high school were not my friends in college. People grow and change throughout their lifetimes. Sometimes they grow with you and sometimes they grow in different directions. My husband, who did not have all the social issues I had is not friends with anyone from elementary or high school. In fact, he doesn't talk much to friends from college ... again, the growing apart thing.

 

My oldest son has friends from homeschooling that will probably be friends for life and he is one shy kid. My daughter has friends from many groups - church, homeschooling and scouts.

[KidsHappen]

Well, I was homeschooling my kids before our kids were school age so by the time our kids were school age he was already on board with the idea. Whenever he has disagreed with any of the other crazy ideas I have had, I have basically told him that I will not agree to even discuss it until he was at least as well informed about the subject as I was and THEN he would have to convince me why I shouldn't do whatever it was. He has suceeded once. After 20 years now, on just about any issue having to do with children, health or nutrition he just asks, "What is our position on ________?" Sometimes he even asks why.:tongue_smilie: To be fair though, the are other spheres where it works just the opposite.

[Peela]

I printed out quite a few articles I found online about the benefits of homeschooling, and left them on the kitchen table for him, as well as reading some aloud to him.

Dh eventually gave me a 6 month trial. After a couple of weeks of having just ds home, since that was the deal (and dd wanted to be at school), dh became my strongest support and demanded we bring dd home as well.

FOr us, ds became soft and sweet and innocent again, wandering around the garden playing with insects and happy in his own company. The defences he had put up to cope with school dropped away.

Dh initially doubted my ability to teach my kids because of his conditioning, but it didnt take long for him to see teh benefits.

[kalanamak]

Yes. I liken my marriage to a hike in the deep woods with a big dog. Sometimes he's right beside me, other times he's baying the woods, but in general, he is a follower and where I end up at the end of the day is where he ends up at the end of the day. At night, he's a little skunky and ticky around the fire, but I'm safer with him. :)

 

I encourage your hubby to read WTM.

:grouphug:

I wish you the best in this.

[rlowetx]

My husband was completely against it. Thought it was only for granola crunching, vegetarian, hippies...well, so maybe some are (and I go through phases...). His mom was PTA president, he was captain of the football team, etc.. you get the picture..he couldn't IMAGINE why someone wouldn't WANT to go to school.

G- went to school for 1st grade. We were very supportive, but G- suffered and didn't at all work at his potential, we both started talking about other options, starting with private school. We looked through private schools and couldn't find one that we felt would definitely help G- succeed (and the $$$$.. for the $$, you want some kind of guarantee, kwim?), so I started offering up hs as an option, since of course, I am a granola crunching, past-vegetarian hippy. :lol:

He continued to be dead-set against it, him and his mom. Through lots of research and books though, he came around. One of the biggest changes in him was due to John Gatto's writings. These had a major impact on him, as the gentleman is a ps teacher and has amazing insights...it gave him facts to help him with his conversation with his family, and it gave him the background and understanding of what ps is. Please don't misunderstand me, I don't hate ps and I am happy it is there for so many people, it just wasn't working for us. In addition, we went to a local homeschool store and he saw that it wasn't just people sitting around in circles singing Kumbayah...there was actual curriculum you could buy, and people looked "normal". We are not a Christian family either, so it relieved other concerns of his when he could see such a range of curriculum - a little bit for everybody's needs. Reading WTM assisted him in understanding that we can truly provide our son the education that WE envisioned, it WAS what we wanted but that he wasn't getting in school. He is very happy with our decision now, but we really did take this journey together - I didn't force him, we just did lots of research with both of us wanting our son to have the very best education and opportunities. I recommend J. Gatto's books as an easy way into this, b/c its not a "homeschool is great book", but its a picture of what ps typically really is and leans towards parents finding other options if you want something different (again, some schools are great and no problems.. please don't take this as bashing).

[fshinkevich]

No, my DH wanted the kids to go to school, mostly for social reasons. He LOVED school growing up, and couldn't imagine his kids not having those experiences.

 

However he was more than happy to HS for the first year of K, and then enroll them in PS. The year went so well, he is now very pro-homeschool, and we have not looked back :D

[Rosie_0801]

I started working on dh when I was pregnant with #1. Now she's 2 1/4 and he comes home telling me how conversations with various people somehow got onto the topic of homeschooling. That's just happens, of course ;) He couldn't care less if they went to ps, but he trusts my abilities and figures if I want this so badly, why not do it. I made sure to draw his attention to the crappiness of the local schools. There are a couple of good primary schools, but nothing good for year 7-10 except the Catholic school. Slowly he came to think that homeschooling for year 7-10 was a fine idea. Teaching year 11s helped that :) Then we talked about what a croc year 11 and 12 are, and the fact that he was teaching them helped again, since it's all teaching to the test. So I talked about de-schooling and how if we were going to homeschool years 7-12, we might as well start from the beginning so we had time to find out groove before study got heavy. And I waffled on about my theories of education and all the great products available to help me. And I waffled on some more, and some more, and looked really enthusiastic and cheerful :D It sort of got to the point where he didn't have the heart do deny me, heheh.

 

So, if I had to do it over again with a resistant husband, it would be a hill to die on. Seriously. Everyone's experience is different, but that's mine.

Me too! When we had the ultrasound and found out #2 was a boy, I actually shook my fist in his face and said we were DEFINATELY homeschooling now, because I don't know what a public school would do to my boy (the schools I went to were not nice to boys.) His reaction to that was to remove my fist from his space and tell me to chill out because he'd already agreed to it over a year before. :) So I looked threateningly at him in case he was tricking (which was dumb because I knew he wasn't,) then hugged him and told him he was a great bloke :) Poor, long suffering fellow. If he wanted a quiet, peaceful life without ideas, he picked the wrong chick!

 

Rosie

Edited September 2, 2009 by Rosie_0801

[Impish]

When I initially started researching hsing, it was with Tazzie in mind. The kid is as bright as he is active, which is frightening. Diva was already in school, so I had the (wrong) idea that I couldn't possibly pull her out, she was already used to being in school, how could she possibly learn to respect me as a teacher as opposed to 'just' her Mom (see the evil that ps socialization is? JUST the Mom indeed!) Wolf wasn't 100% sold, but figured we had years before it was an issue for Tazzie. His (and mine) favourite cousin hs'd their dd through graduation, and she's the most phenominal young lady we've ever met.

 

Things got so bad for Diva in gr 3, btwn bullying and a teacher that was both cruel and inept (first, right in front of Diva at a parent/student/teacher meeting, Diva's teacher told Wolf that "Diva doesn't think rules apply to her, and I had a niece exactly the same way at her (Diva's) age, and now my niece is a high school drop out on meth!") and told us she had absolutely NO reading comprehension at all. :glare:

 

We yanked her Valentine's day. That May, she did the Basic Skills Assessment, and her LOWEST score put her 1.5 grades ahead, her HIGHEST (in reading comprehension no less) put her FOUR grades ahead.

 

Wolf brags about our homeschooling. Now, 2.5 yrs later, Diva is starting gr 6, and taking gr 9 science, and possibly english (we'll decide after we meet with the facillitator)

[s.z.ichigo]

I knew I would homeschool my kids when I was a kid myself. Not necessarily that I would "homeschool" them, but I HATED school and thought it was ridiculous that somebody could tell people that they HAD to send their kids away, whether they wanted to or not.

My husband never had any respect for school either. I can't say I remember when exactly we officially decided we would homeschool (I know if was long before we conceived) but I dont think it ever occurred to either of us that we might even consider sending any children we might have to a public school.

[LauraGB]

Hi Lynne,

I saw your post on the Afterschooler's board. The content of that post is EXACTLY why we homeschool now. And it took a fair bit of those same types of reports from the teacher (from start of 1st grade to about Thanksgiving of that same year) for dh to finally "get it".

 

(Oh, and it didn't help when we rec'd a phone call to report that ds stood up in math class after counting ducks for the umteenth time and said "This is stupid - I already know this stuff! This is for babies and I'm done doing it!." Poor kid...there went his potential friend count so what was the point of school? ;)) I'm not proud of the kid for his outburst, but I knew it was a matter of time.

 

Hopefully for you, a few more of those letters and your dh will "get it", too.

[Tree House Academy]

No. Dh considered it WAY before I could bring myself to consider it! LOL But in the end, we all came around. My little fella actually caused the whole thing. He started reading when he was 4. He has a late birthday, so he wouldn't have gone to Kindergarten until THIS year. Ummm...that just doesn't quite work, KWIM? That and he is my baby and he didn't want to go to ps and I didn't make him. :)

[KrissiK]

Oh yes. He's even more adamant that we homeschool that I am. I'd put them in the local Christian school in a heart beat, but... well, I'm too cheap to really push it. So... we homeschool.