Shoes- are they REALLY necessary?! Help with preschooler drama

[Kerileanne99]

I just feel like giving up the battle. It is just not worth it! The tears, meltdowns, fits and drama over shoes and socks. Really, is it the WM of the world if the kid has cold feet all winter?

 

I feel like we have tried everything. Seamless socks at $7-10 per pair. Tights. A huge selection of different styles of shoes. And this is not an inexpensive endeavor as I strongly believe that good quality shoes are important, and Alex already has soooo many issues with clothing, seams, 'beautiful-ness', and matching.

 

If I thought it was JUST being spoiled I could deal with this, but it is so much more. She cannot let it go and it literally will become the focus of any outing.

 

I know lots of parent have dealt with the sensory issues, so please HELP!

It is so hard to let go of the idea that she MUST be dressed appropriately...but really, we live in Texas. No snow. She isn't going to be in danger of frostbite or anything, although she will surely also whine and be upset at how cold her feet are as she is sensitive to that too. You would think that would solve the problem, but it doesn't:(

 

So what says the Hive? Is it horrible parenting to let her run around in Chacos and other sandals all winter? Any other ideas or solutions? I am exhausted dealing with this:(

[zoobie]

Have you tried fuzzy boots (Ugg, but knockoffs...) without socks? The furry lined Crocs?

 

I wouldn't worry absent frostbite type scenarios!

[Rosie_0801]

Look up retained primitive reflexes. 

 

And no, it doesn't matter if she's not wearing shoes. My boy used to walk around at home with no shoes or pants for most of the year and seemed happy about it. 

[MomOfABunch]

I'm having the same issue with pants and my 3.5 year old. Mostly it just let it go unless we have to go somewhere and then sometimes I bribe him with gum.... Then I put him in his car seat and put his socks and shoes in the car.

[Tanaqui]

*glances at feet*

 

*wiggles toes*

 

No, shoes are unnecessary in most situations your preschooler will find herself in. If it's really VERY cold (like, below freezing) or if the ground is REALLY covered with glass and nails, then yes. But inside the house? LOL, no.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Sandals are shoes.  Let it go!  (Goes off humming stupid song from Frozen. . . )

[Lolly]

She'll wear Chacos? I see nothing wrong with that. At home, I'd go barefoot. In fact, I do. But, eating establishments seem to like people to have on shoes, so out in public sandals should be good. I'd keep a pair of socks in the purse just in case her toes do get cold and she requests socks. Let her know you have them if she wants them. Then, leave it in her court. She is old enough to know if she has cold feet! Btw, many of my kids wore sandals all winter for a long time. And we are much colder than Tx!

[bolt.]

Sandals are fine!

 

(Bare feet would be an issue.)

[jelbe5]

My kids are always barefoot in the house and still wear regular crocs until there is real snow cover. We live in IL - temperature today is 21F. They just started wearing socks with the crocs outside.

 

As for me? Fuzzy sweats for sleeping in, slipper socks and the high setting on the electric blanket, thank you very much!

[AK_Mom4]

Let it go.

If sandals work then that's awesome. If her feet are miserably cold, you might have to adjust the amount of time she spends outside. Maybe she could tolerate extra large socks worn over TOP of the sandals when it gets cold?

[blondeviolin]

She'll wear Chacos? I see nothing wrong with that. At home, I'd go barefoot. In fact, I do. But, eating establishments seem to like people to have on shoes, so out in public sandals should be good. I'd keep a pair of socks in the purse just in case her toes do get cold and she requests socks. Let her know you have them if she wants them. Then, leave it in her court. She is old enough to know if she has cold feet! Btw, many of my kids wore sandals all winter for a long time. And we are much colder than Tx!

This. We live in Alaska and my 3yo goes around in flip flops. His choice, y'know? He's not losing toes walking from the car to a restaurant or whatever.

[Dmmetler]

My DD lives in socks and sandals almost all the time. Cheer practice and fieldwork are the two exceptions.

[Sdel]

We generally just keep shoes in the car to put on just before going into places where shoes are required. A lot of times I put them on without socks or they are flip flops for the older. We are also in TX. It has been very pleasant short sleeves and shorts during the day weather here lately, except it does get quite cool at night.

[Amira]

I wear sandals outside all the time no matter what the weather is. Everyone except dh (he wears socks) goes barefoot in the house. It's not a big deal. I do try to get people to at least put on flip flops when they go outside. And I don't let them go barefoot in the snow for long periods of time.

 

I just like bare feet and always have.

[Momling]

I'm of the mean-mom variety who wouldn't let it go. I mean, around the house is fine... But once outside of the house, the clothes and shoes my kids wear needs to be weather and occasion appropriate (and maybe sandals are weather appropriate in Texas winter, I don't know?) Anyway, I put away all flip flops and sandals and shorts after the summer in boxes so they are not an option. I make sure my kids have had a say in their clothes and shoes and socks, choosing something they like, but then they need to wear it. I have had kids refuse to wear appropriate clothes, but I make sure the power struggle happens in a way that will have a successful ending. It ends up with directions like - "If you'd like to go sledding, you must be wearing your jackets and boots." Or "We can go to the park when your socks and shoes are on" or "We can go to the party when you brush your hair." It usually only takes once staying home or being late to something fun and the kids get the message that what we wear matters.

[Lori D.]

I feel your pain! Up until he was at least 8yo, DS had a sensory issue with the feel of sox and shoes.  :ohmy:  :sad:  :eek:  (In retrospect, I'm pretty sure he had a very late-developing nervous system and would have been diagnosed on a very low end of an ADD/Aspberger/Autism spectrum.)

 

The shoes: I finally stopped tying his shoes when he was 4yo we switched to shoes with velcro so he could adjust and readjust as much as he wanted, which drastically reduced my stress level. ;) A few years later, we went back to laces and he learned to do it himself the way he could tolerate it.

 

As for sox, shhh… don't tell, but for about 4 years I bought this one brand of thin, girls' bobby sox without seams on the toes. They came in 6 packs with black, white, navy and pink. I would rip the bag open on the way home, toss the pink sox to a friend with girls and slip the rest into his drawer so he never knew they were girls' sox. The downside was that they were thin and developed holes quickly, so we ran through a lot of packages of sox for awhile. And, even then, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth (both of us ;) ) trying to get those darn sox on "just so" to "feel right".

 

He also had a sensory thing about shirt fabric and tags, and the feel of pants. He lived in sweat pants and shorts for an entire year, and I just kept praying we would not have to go to anything formal that required actual slacks.  :ohmy: For shirts, we went to Good Will and used clothing stores and bought well-worn, soft-from-many-washings items, and cut out the tags.

 

I seriously thought I would lose my mind for awhile there, when he was little. It helped (me) to lay down a strict boundary in advance each time of getting dressed: "I will help you readjust you sox and re-tie your shoes three times. If they are not right after that, we will go to the car and get going to _________, and you may readjust and re-tie your own shoes and sox in the car if you wish, as long as you stay safely buckled in your seat."

 

While I bent over backwards to give choices for the most part, and barefoot was fine inside, or in the backyard during nice weather, I also believed it was important to help my sensory-issue DS to find a way of dealing with it, in order to be able to deal with the world-outside-the-home that was not going to cater to his issues.

 

Thank heavens, starting about 8yo, he began to outgrow some of it, and it became a bit less of an issue each year from then on. By the time he was 14yo, while he still had preferences, he could deal with being required to wear whatever -- sports uniform, dress clothes, etc. -- without it causing great distress.

 

BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D.

 

PS -- If I had the ability of a "do-over", I would definitely be looking at de-sensitization techniques to help increase tolerance to sensory input. Don't know if it's any good, but this book looks interesting: Raising a Sensory Smart Child (Biel), for a sensory-avoiders, or The Out-of-Sync Child (Kranowitz) for sensory-seekers. This article explains some of the treatments that can help "rewire" a child who can't seem to process sensory input in the way most people do: "Treating Sensory Processing Issues" (by Beth Arky).

[Jilly]

My daughter did not wear shoes consistently until she was ten years old. We live in California so it was not a big deal. When it was essential that she had to have shoes she would reluctantly wear flip-flops.

[Kerileanne99]

I guess I should have clarified: this is for outside of the house. In the house I couldn't care less what is on her feet:) 99.9% of the time we are all bareboot at home, and she will wear slip on purple princess slippers I her feet get cold enough.

 

The problem is when it is time to leave the house. Every time, I know it coming. Clothes are enough of an issue, and we are working on that: everything from tags to snugness to collars, etc. She chooses clothes when shopping and has for the last two years because I soon learned it would not get worn otherwise.

 

I think the biggest problem right now is routine things like the 3-morning per week preschool she attends right now. They are required to have something on their feet...and I can imagine the comments if I let her go in sandals. Not my primary concern of course, but they do spend a fair amount of time outside. Socks ands sandals I could handle, but she refuses the socks. I tried Crocs and boots without socks but she immediately takes them off!

[Wilma]

I live in in Austin and I personally wear flips every day always. (Unless I have some specific and fancy occasion to warrant specific and fancy other shoes.) I would not make a thing over a kid choosing sandals for comfort. It's not a safety issue.

 

Saying something like, "ooh, honey, your little toes might get cold if you choose the sandals today - this is a good day for warm clothes. Maybe we should drop some socks and sneakers in a bag in case your feet ask for something warmer?" would give the kid some autonomy while still fulfilling your mama role of providing warm stuff. I often give advice about clothing but only a couple of times a year require something specific. I value independence and autonomy.

[Kerileanne99]

I'm of the mean-mom variety who wouldn't let it go. I mean, around the house is fine... But once outside of the house, the clothes and shoes my kids wear needs to be weather and occasion appropriate (and maybe sandals are weather appropriate in Texas winter, I don't know?) Anyway, I put away all flip flops and sandals and shorts after the summer in boxes so they are not an option. I make sure my kids have had a say in their clothes and shoes and socks, choosing something they like, but then they need to wear it. I have had kids refuse to wear appropriate clothes, but I make sure the power struggle happens in a way that will have a successful ending. It ends up with directions like - "If you'd like to go sledding, you must be wearing your jackets and boots." Or "We can go to the park when your socks and shoes are on" or "We can go to the party when you brush your hair." It usually only takes once staying home or being late to something fun and the kids get the message that what we wear matters.

See, this is a bit how I saw it in the beginning. We are really very logical and reasonable, and have always taught the kiddo that we can have a discussion as long as she is calm and rational. Growing up, shoes were just expected. But I grew up in mountains, in Idaho.

 

We have tried telling her an hour out, then every 15 minutes when we will be leaving. If shoes and socks were not on we wouldn't be able to go. She understands this...but truly, when the sensory issues happen she is not able to deal with it and no amount of missing the 'fun activity' is going to change it. In fact, the activity is more likely to be ruined even if she tearfully and semi-hysterically wears them. It is heartbreaking. This is not just a battle of wills.

Also, there are times, like part-time preschool when we are on a schedule:)

 

What it comes down to is that I am not willing to go through all of this multiple times a day without a real reason. Is there one, other than it is just expected and I am the adult telling her how it is? Safety? Health? Those are the things that I would feel like I must enforce...I am just thinking it is just a mindset, and really is not a hill worth dying on.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't understand the problem with sandals.  Are they against preschool policy?  

[catz]

I think parents who can draw a hard line on this kind of thing and just have their kids comply reasonably fast do not have kid with true sensory quirks.  Keep warmer stuff in the car for when you're out and about.  Keep socks in your purse.  She'll decide eventually her feet are cold or she likes the look/feel of something else.  Maybe not this winter.  But eventually. 

 

I had a son who walked around without pants and shoes for years.  To age 14, he much prefers athletic pants to anything fitted.  He won't wear slippers at home and is very fussy about shoes to this day, but understands social norms and dressing up sometimes.  My daughter would take off her shoes or boots every time we got in a vehicle.  We live in snow land.   It'll be ok.  She's still little.  :)

[Hikin' Mama]

There is nothing wrong with her going without shoes. I prefer to be barefoot or wear flip flops in the house, even throughout the winter. I would not choose to fight this battle. However, I would carry warm footwear in the car in case you get stuck somewhere in bad weather.

[Kerileanne99]

She'll wear Chacos? I see nothing wrong with that. At home, I'd go barefoot. In fact, I do. But, eating establishments seem to like people to have on shoes, so out in public sandals should be good. I'd keep a pair of socks in the purse just in case her toes do get cold and she requests socks. Let her know you have them if she wants them. Then, leave it in her court. She is old enough to know if she has cold feet! Btw, many of my kids wore sandals all winter for a long time. And we are much colder than Tx!

This is ridiculously reasonable:). And right up her alley, as she will like the thought of carrying them in her own little purse that she never leaves home without...of course, it doubles as a unicorn:)

[Kerileanne99]

I don't understand the problem with sandals. Are they against preschool policy?

Well, yes and no. I have spent a bit of time looking through the handbook as I had a note sent home with her. The handbook has a couple of requirements: 'footwear must be appropriate for the activity and closed-toe.' But honestly, I have seen little girls in every variety of sandals and such --nobody has ever mentioned it in the summer. I think it just offends sensibilities, and goes against the norm. This is quite an upscale Montessori school, which is ironic as I would think they would value the autonomy of the child. I would even support telling her that she would not be able to go out for recess without socks if the weather was below a certain temp or inclement...even though I know this would probably result in me having to pick her up when the school couldn't deal with the sensory issues:(

[Kerileanne99]

I feel your pain! Up until he was at least 8yo, DS had a sensory issue with the feel of sox and shoes. :ohmy: :sad: :eek: (In retrospect, I'm pretty sure he had a very late-developing nervous system and would have been diagnosed on a very low end of an ADD/Aspberger/Autism spectrum.)

 

The shoes: I finally stopped tying his shoes when he was 4yo we switched to shoes with velcro so he could adjust and readjust as much as he wanted, which drastically reduced my stress level. ;) A few years later, we went back to laces and he learned to do it himself the way he could tolerate it.

 

As for sox, shhh… don't tell, but for about 4 years I bought this one brand of thin, girls' bobby sox without seams on the toes. They came in 6 packs with black, white, navy and pink. I would rip the bag open on the way home, toss the pink sox to a friend with girls and slip the rest into his drawer so he never knew they were girls' sox. The downside was that they were thin and developed holes quickly, so we ran through a lot of packages of sox for awhile. And, even then, there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth (both of us ;) ) trying to get those darn sox on "just so" to "feel right".

 

He also had a sensory thing about shirt fabric and tags, and the feel of pants. He lived in sweat pants and shorts for an entire year, and I just kept praying we would not have to go to anything formal that required actual slacks. :ohmy: For shirts, we went to Good Will and used clothing stores and bought well-worn, soft-from-many-washings items, and cut out the tags.

 

I seriously thought I would lose my mind for awhile there, when he was little. It helped (me) to lay down a strict boundary in advance each time of getting dressed: "I will help you readjust you sox and re-tie your shoes three times. If they are not right after that, we will go to the car and get going to _________, and you may readjust and re-tie your own shoes and sox in the car if you wish, as long as you stay safely buckled in your seat."

 

While I bent over backwards to give choices for the most part, and barefoot was fine inside, or in the backyard during nice weather, I also believed it was important to help my sensory-issue DS to find a way of dealing with it, in order to be able to deal with the world-outside-the-home that was not going to cater to his issues.

 

Thank heavens, starting about 8yo, he began to outgrow some of it, and it became a bit less of an issue each year from then on. By the time he was 14yo, while he still had preferences, he could deal with being required to wear whatever -- sports uniform, dress clothes, etc. -- without it causing great distress.

 

BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D.

 

PS -- If I had the ability of a "do-over", I would definitely be looking at de-sensitization techniques to help increase tolerance to sensory input. Don't know if it's any good, but this book looks interesting: Raising a Sensory Smart Child (Biel), for a sensory-avoiders, or The Out-of-Sync Child (Kranowitz) for sensory-seekers. This article explains some of the treatments that can help "rewire" a child who can't seem to process sensory input in the way most people do: "Treating Sensory Processing Issues" (by Beth Arky).

Thanks for the book suggestions, I will check them out tonight.

 

We did have a full Neuropsych workup done this last summer, which was very helpful in many ways. The Neuropsych conclusion was that whilst he does not think she is on the spectrum, he did see evidence of many of the behaviors that were the basis of our concern. He showed us an overlap chart of characteristics and behaviors commonly associated with children on the spectrum and children with very high IQ. Whilst I wasn't suprised, I still feel like there is so much going on that we need to still pursue therapy either at home or elsewhere. Honestly, the cause is great information to have and may have implications for how it is treated or managed, but ultimately it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is helping her learn how to cope, right?

[Annie]

I pretty much wear my Birkenstocks year round, and it's definitely colder here than in Texas. I'll occasionally put on other shoes if I'm wearing an outfit that really calls for them, or if I actually have to walk *through* the snow. I really dislike socks.

[Storygirl]

If you have not already done so, please be sure to talk to the preschool about her sensory issues. I'm sure they have had previous students with issues, and they should have a way to make an exception about the footwear rules for her.

 

Also, talk to your pediatrician and find out if your insurance will cover occupational therapy. OT can help sensory issues significantly.

[Elisabet1]

Is she like this when she goes out too?

 

We don't wear shoes in the house. But for going out, my little girl had to pick her own shoes at the store. If I buy them, they won't measure up. Same thing for her clothes. She only wears things with pictures of Elsa. So much for all those Hanna Andersson clothes I got last year! She also wears tutus.

 

 

[Elisabet1]

By the way..send her in sandals and take the comments. My now 13 yr old hated his shoes and hated wear them. I caved and let him wear sandals all the time. He said his feet were hot.

[Chris in VA]

What is the ground cover material on the playground? If it's mulch or gravel, the closed-toe rule is for safety.

I'd see what exception could be made, and I'd definitely point out inconsistencies.

Sensory issues are not just preferences that are "disobedience" and "strong will." They can't be disciplined away.

[Kerileanne99]

What is the ground cover material on the playground? If it's mulch or gravel, the closed-toe rule is for safety.

I'd see what exception could be made, and I'd definitely point out inconsistencies.

Sensory issues are not just preferences that are "disobedience" and "strong will." They can't be disciplined away.

I am sure the playground is part of it, it is covered in mulch. I actually am not sure if they are REALLY worried about safety or teacher sanity when the 66th child that morning insists on having help removing their sandal for the 9th time that play period to get out the bits:)

[bolt.]

Have you tried water shoes? They are very thin flexible-soled "shoes" with closed toes, but sandal-like fastenings. Excellent for keeping out playground bits, bright, light and easy to wear. No socks.

 

The toes-only view would easily pass for bright runners. We call them "soft shoes" because my kid's issue would be if she knew they were "for" water, it wouldn't be ok to wear them elsewhere.

 

They do wear out, but kids grow fast.

[Stacia]

I think sandals are fine. I'd mention the why of your decision to the school.

 

Re: sensory issues & socks. It may not be the socks themselves (well, ok, seams are pretty evil) but more the feeling of the socks being 'pressed' on the feet by the shoes. Just a thought on the reasoning process there....

[Joker]

I live in Florida and we wear flip flops year round. We play at parks with mulch in them, we ride bikes, scooters, and skateboards in them, we walk the 3 mile round trip to the grocery store in them, etc. We also go barefoot often outside while doing yard work, getting the mail, and just hanging out with neighbors. We've never had a problem. I grew up in Texas and went barefoot the majority of the time. I've dealt with the occasional sticker or splinter but nothing even close to serious. Oldest dd is super excited to be in high school because their are no restrictions on footwear so she can flip flops if she wants. So, I don't think shoes are really all that important.

[Stacia]

Oldest dd is super excited to be in high school because their are no restrictions on footwear so she can flip flops if she wants.

 

Dd's high school is the same. Her chemistry teacher did ask them to wear closed shoes on experiment/lab days, though.

[Kerileanne99]

I think sandals are fine. I'd mention the why of your decision to the school.

 

Re: sensory issues & socks. It may not be the socks themselves (well, ok, seams are pretty evil) but more the feeling of the socks being 'pressed' on the feet by the shoes. Just a thought on the reasoning process there....

I think that is it. We have tried seamless socks, even seamless tights. She does not like the snugness feeling, or even the feel of the material on her feet. If we get larger socks they bunch. She also gets very upset by 'hot feet.'

 

I will be SO glad next fall. We will be homeschooling officially then, so it won't matter so much. She does gymnastics and swimming as activities, both of which are barefoot:)

[Kerileanne99]

Is she like this when she goes out too?

 

We don't wear shoes in the house. But for going out, my little girl had to pick her own shoes at the store. If I buy them, they won't measure up. Same thing for her clothes. She only wears things with pictures of Elsa. So much for all those Hanna Andersson clothes I got last year! She also wears tutus.

Oh yes, and she has picked out her own clothes shopping for a very long time...and even then she often decides later that something is very painful or irritating. I have no issues allowing her to create any ensemble she can envision:) she loves tutus and boas, tiaras and bizarre combos. None of that bothers me in the least, lol. We have an agreement that mommy will only interfere if there is a very good reason, like a specific event or pictures. Even then I give her choices and she ultimately picks.

[BooksandBoys]

We are a "barefoot" family, in that we are barefoot or in socks whenever possible because we believe that feet develop more naturally when barefoot, and, when shoes are necessary (for safety and warmth), we wear the most flexible shoes possible.

 

To that end, I would let her wear whatever she would wear. My kids like water shoes with socks in the winter, except for the sensory kid who only wears the water shoes. He is also the child who strips off his shoes and walks barefoot on the snow (note to self, get the kid some moccasins). Incidentally, the human foot can safely handle reasonable cold when the person is moving. I run in thin, neoprene vibram five fingers in 30 degree weather. Even with slight dampness from the snow, I am not cold because I am running. I do change out of those shoes immediately upon stopping to avoid a chill.

 

Could she wear the slippers to school?

[Sdel]

Honestly, OP, I think I'd let the preschool handle this if the issue is isolated to the preschool.  Take her in whatever shoes are comfortable and put whatever socks/close toed shoes you have in her bag and let them decide if this is something they want to die enforcing or work out their own agreement with her.

 

Stefanie

[happi duck]

Have you looked at anything like Soft Star Shoes? (Sorry I can't manage a link)

[Kerileanne99]

Have you looked at anything like Soft Star Shoes? (Sorry I can't manage a link)

Some of these look great! I am going to ask her what she thinks in the morning. She would be able to get away with wearing them at school.

 

I tried letting her change into slippers as soon as she got to school, but the teacher decided it was too disruptive to have her changing back and forth to go outside.

[fraidycat]

I only read the first post, so forgive me if the topic has shifted. I'm a firm believer that we are perfectly designed...AKA, barefoot is best. That said, we no longer live in a more natural (safer for feet) environment, we have many foot hazards. So, We live in Soft Star RunAmocs around here as much as possible. Mine are black, DDs are teal, and DSs are red. My nephew borrows mine when the kids want to go climbing trees because of the flexibility and grip. ;) Which reminds me - that's maybe a gift idea for him!

[happi duck]

Some of these look great! I am going to ask her what she thinks in the morning. She would be able to get away with wearing them at school.

 

I tried letting her change into slippers as soon as she got to school, but the teacher decided it was too disruptive to have her changing back and forth to go outside.

I hope it works out! I prefer barefoot but when i must I only wear soft star shoes and have been very pleased!

[Guest shleitrieg]

I put him in his car seat and put his socks and shoes in the car. 

[lailasmum]

Have you tried crocs for her? My eldest is hard work in this area and two friends also with sensory issues will wear crocs only. They do lined winter ones too.

[MotherGoose]

I am sure the playground is part of it, it is covered in mulch. I actually am not sure if they are REALLY worried about safety or teacher sanity when the 66th child that morning insists on having help removing their sandal for the 9th time that play period to get out the bits:)

Can she wear shoes she can put on and take off herself? I'd talk to the preschool about the issues. And FWIW, my dd, 8, has no sensory issues, she'd just rather not wear shoes if she doesn't have to (just like her mama). We live in the country, in the South, and she goes around barefoot indoors and out a good bit. No worries about glass, metal, etc but she does get thorns in there occasionally. When she complains, I just tell her that she was the silly one who didn't wear shoes. Her younger sister will go put on shoes because her feet are cold, etc. I do insist on correct shoes when we go out in public. It's not a big deal for us because there are no sensory issues though.

[Kerileanne99]

Can she wear shoes she can put on and take off herself? I'd talk to the preschool about the issues. And FWIW, my dd, 8, has no sensory issues, she'd just rather not wear shoes if she doesn't have to (just like her mama). We live in the country, in the South, and she goes around barefoot indoors and out a good bit. No worries about glass, metal, etc but she does get thorns in there occasionally. When she complains, I just tell her that she was the silly one who didn't wear shoes. Her younger sister will go put on shoes because her feet are cold, etc. I do insist on correct shoes when we go out in public. It's not a big deal for us because there are no sensory issues though.

She is actually able to put all her own shoes on as well as tie her own shoes with laces. After the millionth time of retying them for her to get just the right tightness I taught her in an effort to save my own sanity. But none of that matters when the sensory issues are the focus. Her little brain seems to just shut down, narrow down until the sole (ha!) remaining focus is the feel of them.

Honestly, her preschool is well aware of her 'little quirks' as they tend to call them. This year is an experiment to try to have her interact with children her own age (with it a 3 yr grouping) and play a bit. Also, I am in a wheelchair and pregnant, and it is looking like we will be dealing with placenta previa and bed rest (for both reasons) so I REALLY need to make this work for her this year if at all possible!

[Kerileanne99]

I only read the first post, so forgive me if the topic has shifted. I'm a firm believer that we are perfectly designed...AKA, barefoot is best. That said, we no longer live in a more natural (safer for feet) environment, we have many foot hazards. So, We live in Soft Star RunAmocs around here as much as possible. Mine are black, DDs are teal, and DSs are red. My nephew borrows mine when the kids want to go climbing trees because of the flexibility and grip. ;) Which reminds me - that's maybe a gift idea for him!

Thanks for the recommendation. Happiduck pointed them out and they look great! I think we will give them a try.

[Kerileanne99]

Have you tried crocs for her? My eldest is hard work in this area and two friends also with sensory issues will wear crocs only. They do lined winter ones too.

Yes, and she will wear them around outside our house...but at preschool they come off the second she hits the classroom. As well as socks if we were able to get her to put them on, and she is not allowed to be barefoot. She just won't keep them on!