eight_gregorys Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I just told my boys, "Hey, naked light saber fights are not allowed." One of the boys had just taken a shower and instead of getting dressed, he thought he should just join in on the fun with his brothers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaAkins Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I have, on more than one occasion, had to tell my children, "No! You cannot wash your hands in the toilet, even if you are using soap!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I just told my boys, "Hey, naked light saber fights are not allowed." One of the boys had just taken a shower and instead of getting dressed, he thought he should just join in on the fun with his brothers. That is really funny :lol: I have a couple. At my son's birthday party I heard myself telling one of the boys "We don't lick each other's robots" :001_huh: He had taken one of the Transformmers off of my son's cake and was licking the frosting off of it. The other one is similar to yours. When my son was around 2.5 years old he had just gotten out of the bath. I sent him to my room to get dressed. I didn't follow up. You should ALWAYS follow up with a boy told to get dressed. I heard gun noises in my room and I just knew what he was using as his gun. I walked in and sure enough he had his p&nis pointed at the tv like a gun making shooting noises. I said, "Put that away! It is not a gun!". Always follow up. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 "Get the cat out of your mouth." "Don't come in here with any toads in your pockets." (To my daughters) "Here, wipe that on my shirt." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I have, on more than one occasion, had to tell my children, "No! You cannot wash your hands in the toilet, even if you are using soap!" That is the funniest thing I have heard in a LOOOONG time!!! Thank you! I'm drawing a blank on funny things at the moment. I know there have been some doozies. Maybe they'll come to me when I get rid of my headache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bairnmama Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 :lol::lol::lol: I LOVE these!! How about a few more... "Just shove everything in your closet." "Go back outside and take your clothes off!" (they were both caked with mud from head to toe and our house had light carpet from the door to the bathroom) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommyRyan Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 "Your sister is not a football." "Quit putting your panties on your little brother." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiff in TX Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 "Here, just squat and pee in the grass" Said to my DD, then age 2 after leaving the zoo and walking 1/2 mile to the car and not a bathroom in sight. Luckily we were in the annex parking so it was all dirt and grass :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 (edited) lol! Edited July 30, 2009 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciyates Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Stop licking the dog's feet! My DS was 3. :001_smile: Yes I knew Vin Disel wasn't his real name. Last week And the one that he said that made me smile the most was when he was talking to some of my friends and said "I can't help it if all of your daughters are girls" ????? :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in Jax Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 1. "Do not use the shower curtain rod as a gymnastics device." (He pulled himself up and over the rod, doing a complete flip.) 2. "Do not lick outlets." 3. "You must wear clothes in public restrooms, even if you have to poop." (He's been known to strip from the waist down for "freedom" while pooping. He's also gotten in trouble at school for leaving his underwear in the bathroom. <sigh>) 4. "No, you may NOT drive the car." (He was 4.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leanna Tomlinson Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 1)"We don't eat cat food." 2)"No, you can't ride your Ripstick with your cast on." In response to a request made while driving home from the ER! 3)"We don't wash kittens in the toilet." 4)"No, that Tom cat is not going to kill Mama Kitty....he's just....visiting." 5) "What do you mean you always do this? Bring me all of the chicken bones you have in your room!" (I was soon presented with over 50 bones) 6)"You can't read on the potty during schootime!" 7) "Will you PLEASE just try a little makeup?" (said to dd 17) I could go on.... ~ Leanna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 "You cannot jump on the trampoline naked." "Come down from the roof." "no you cannot go up to the roof to drop your parachute men." "We do not put legos up your nose." "Do not put m&m's up your nose" "Do not put car tires up your nose" See a trend....lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bearnpurple Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 "I don't care who started it, I'm going to finish it!".......we always say we are not going to say things like our mom (As Bill Cosby said...)"What do you mean? I don't know?" Kinda answers itself..... "Will my boobies get big someday?" (which is a major compliment to me! ha!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 :lol::lol: Oh, these are too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 28, 2009 Share Posted July 28, 2009 I tell them first in English and when I am ignored I say "Don't make me say it in Spanish, or Japanese, or Swahili, etc. My kids think this is hysterical but it actually gets their attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ELaurie Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 with laser tag guns. I heard myself saying, "Why don't you go outside and shoot each other - that's why we bought those guns :tongue_smilie:" The man repairing our furnace just looked at me and said, "Spoken like a true . . . mom." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i.love.lucy Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "No more drinking the dogs water!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneRoomSchoolHouse Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "We do not eat out of the garbage can" said as my ds(1) at the time was looking for a little snack "We do not eat what mommy has swept up off the floor" as ds(1) and dd(2) were fighting over the cheerios in the dust pile "We do not poop in the bathtub" "Don't carry the dog by his head" "Stop fighting over the potty" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "No more drinking the dogs water!" I've said this one! Also...don't sit on your brother's head! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "All insects must be removed from pants pockets BEFORE you throw them in the washing machine!!!" "No, the worms don't love you, please stop kissing them." "Actually, you don't need to wash Ritz crackers before you eat them" (said to 2 yo DD standing on her high chair tray at the kitchen sink washing crackers). "No, you can't have boobies and a drivers license for your birthday" (she was 6) Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MusicMouseTN Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "No, you can't have boobies and a drivers license for your birthday" (she was 6) Jackie sooooo funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "No, you can't have boobies and a drivers license for your birthday" (she was 6) Jackie :lol::lol::lol::lol: That was too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsrevmeg Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "No, son you aren't broken. That is just your crack." (followed by) "OH NO! How did my tushie get cracked?" this conversation took place when my son was 2, after the bath one night when he was checking himself out in the mirror. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 I'm laughing too hard to type properly.... "Don't put the unpopped kernels in your nose." Yet DS still puts them in his nose, and has tried putting them in his ear twice. We don't eat popcorn very often. And the other one I couldn't believe I had to say "No licking your sister's tongue!" -- when he wanted to know what her popsicle had tasted like. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs. Frankweiler Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "Get your hands out of your pants!" (to my sons) "We only bite food....we don't bite people!" "Stop wiping your nose on the new couch!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 This is actually something my friends son said while we were over: There bunch of hens and roosters in the pens. As a rooster would mate with a hen, he would say to all the kids, "Look they're getting married" Oh there's another hen getting married! That hen has been married about 5 times now. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "You may NOT DIVE into the bathtub! What are you thinking????? :confused:" (Just this week to two 9 y.o.'s whose confindence levels have skyrocketed since swimming lessons started last week) "Please stop picking your nose and eating it" (as Daddy reads the Bible AFTER supper :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Get the horse out of the house. This is not the Matrix. Stop trying to ride your bikes up the side of the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eight_gregorys Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 Get the horse out of the house. This is not the Matrix. Stop trying to ride your bikes up the side of the house. These are too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 To my 5 yr old twins: "Your p*nises are NOT light sabers. Please stop fighting with them!" "No naking wrestling on the trampoline, please!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eight_gregorys Posted July 29, 2009 Author Share Posted July 29, 2009 "Stop wiping your nose on the new couch!" I've also said this more times than I can count. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 these are so funny, I a m really laughing. I did crack up the waitress at IHOP one time when I told my son (then about 2 years old) to "Stop putting maple syrup in your ear" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamom Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Don't put playdough in your nose or ears. Don't slide down the stairs with a sled or a sleeping bag. Don't slide on the banister at the nursing home. Don't wipe your nose on your sleeve. Don't chew on your collar. Don't wipe dirty hands on furniture. Don't jump from the roof to the trampoline. Don't climb out on the roof. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 My contribution is something I never expected dd to say to me. She is 10 and one day not long ago, saw the neighbor's horse and pony trying to have...relations. She came in the house and gently said to me, "Mom, I think you had better stay in the house for a while. The horse and pony are out there following their instincts and I wouldn't want you to see that." Thanks, dear. Heaven forbid that I might actually learn how babies are made!!!:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurad1125 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 No licking the walls. (in a public place, no less) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 STOP! You can't have pee stream fights with your brother! (picture 2 boys peeing outside and one decides to hit the other's stream with his own). :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in KY Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 This is sooo funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherE Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "Stop eating your skin.":ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "If it's not food, don't put it in your mouth" said to my beautiful dd from the time she was 1. "If it's not YOUR food, don't put it in your mouth" "If it's not people food, don't put it in your mouth" "The leather in the car is not food" "In other words, if it's not on your plate on the table, don't put it in your mouth" "No, Grammy, you may not dye the 8 yr old's hair orange" "The birds bath water is not food, (said now in chorus) and if it's not food, don't put it in your mouth" "You know son, Luke Skywalker, poops in the big potty too." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pajama Mama Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 STOP! You can't have pee stream fights with your brother! (picture 2 boys peeing outside and one decides to hit the other's stream with his own). :( There are so many funny ones. This is my fave so far. I keep hearing a line from Ghostbusters "Don't cross the streams!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurad1125 Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 A new one from just this morning. Don't pick your nose with your pencil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
My3Boys Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 My middle ds has done WWII reenacting since middle school. They used authentic weapons (nothing live, of course!). The strangest thing I've ever said to one of my kids was to him: "Andrew, please get the grenades off the kitchen table!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 To DS: "Get your book out of your pants!" :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aprilinparis Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 :lol::lol::lol::lol: This is great! I needed a smile today :) Said to my first two boys (ages ago) "No more pee-pee fights!" This is just like the previous poster's 'crossing streams'... They sometimes even pretended they were dueling lightsabers while peeing :) "You may not get out of eating your vegetables by putting the peas up your nose. Mommy can see them." followed shortly after by "Oh dear, that one won't come out!" "The dog is not a horse, and you can't ride him." "You can't eat the bugles after you've put them in your nose." "You may not wear your sister's tutu to the store." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 "I don't think daddy will like it if you choose the pink princess Halloween costume." Said to the screaming two year old son. He begged to be a pink princess for two weeks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 To DS: "Get your book out of your pants!" :001_huh: I've had to say that before and it was to my son also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristamaranatha Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 Just when I was rolling laughing at these and thinking "I wonder what weird things I'll start saying to my dd2 and ds6mths when they get big... "Jane, don't put pencil crayons in the oven!!" (while lunch was on the stove) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caitilin Posted July 29, 2009 Share Posted July 29, 2009 a lady I knew once had just gotten her ds3 potty trained. After his bath, she was still in the bathroom with him, but had her back turned. When she turned around, she was forced to yell, " I**! Stop kissing the toilet!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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