My son is getting married and I need help finding a dress (Updated: have a tentative winner)

Slache · January 5, 2023

In the most recent wedding I went to the parents wore the wedding colors, but not the bridesmaid/groomsmen garb. The photos looked amazing without causing confusion.

sassenach · January 5, 2023

https://ivycityco.com/products/laney-dress-in-green-watercolor

This website has a lot of pretty dresses. You can filter by length to look at the maxi dresses that they carry. I’ve ordered from them and was very pleased with the quality.

MercyA · January 5, 2023

1 hour ago, sassenach said:

https://ivycityco.com/products/laney-dress-in-green-watercolor

This website has a lot of pretty dresses. You can filter by length to look at the maxi dresses that they carry. I’ve ordered from them and was very pleased with the quality.

That is gorgeous and very wedding appropriate, I would say. Nice website!

MercyA · January 5, 2023

9 hours ago, cjzimmer1 said:

Absolutely! I'm not actually wearing a t-shirt right now. It's far too cold, my cold weather shirt of preference is waffle knit shirts and I've found fleece lined waffle knit shirts at Costco. It's like a dream come true!

10 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

Can I join that club? I wear 3/4 sleeve polo shirts and denim skirts just about every day!

Denim skirt wearers unite! ❤️

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

5 hours ago, Ausmumof3 said:

I can’t handle nylon tights but have had luck with bamboo. They are very dark almost a legging so only work with a dark colour dress.

I've never heard of these before but they look really nice. If your feet sweat, are they good about absorbing the moisture? Because anything that keeps my feet even slightly damp causes the rashes.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

1 hour ago, sassenach said:

https://ivycityco.com/products/laney-dress-in-green-watercolor

This website has a lot of pretty dresses. You can filter by length to look at the maxi dresses that they carry. I’ve ordered from them and was very pleased with the quality.

That is beautiful! I also found another style in slate blue that I really like too. Thank you!

Edited January 5, 2023 by cjzimmer1

Lawyer&Mom · January 5, 2023

Out of curiosity, which denim skirts are you all wearing everyday? I haven’t worn a denim skirt in decades and I wonder what’s out there.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

16 minutes ago, Lawyer&Mom said:

Out of curiosity, which denim skirts are you all wearing everyday? I haven’t worn a denim skirt in decades and I wonder what’s out there.

I am not a seamstress but I have someone who takes jeans, cuts them open and fills the gap so all my jeans are ankle length. For winter I have a set of six fleece lined jeans where the fill in is a double layer of fleece (as I said I get cold easily). For the rest of the year, the fabric is double layer, mostly flannel but a couple of some cotton type. I have ONE with a single layer of fabric that I only use on the hottest of days (like 90+). Are they fashionable? Absolutely not, but since I care nothing about fashion, they work for me.

Toocrazy!! · January 5, 2023

I’ll go first:)

I vote for the green watercolor dress with the first black boots from Amazon. If the colors work out for your wedding party. That’s a really beautiful dress, and the length and style would go the best with boots in my eyes. I also think it’s the one you would get the most future wear out of.

sheryl · January 5, 2023

Women's Summer Bohemian Square Neck Floral Print Ruffle Vintage Flowy Beach Vacation Long Midi Boho Dress

PeacefulChaos · January 5, 2023

My favorites were #4 and #5. I have no real opinion on the shoes lol - I'm one of those people who lives barefoot or in flip flops pretty much all year. I own a couple pairs of boots but never really bother to put them on. 😅

ikslo · January 5, 2023

5 - B

freesia · January 5, 2023

4

BusyMom5 · January 5, 2023

I like all the dresses from JJ House, my favorite is #3, but it would depend on your shape. The other 2 are more forgiving in the belly (where I would need it). I would get a color that looks pretty on you- Tahiti? Orchid? I think purples look good with navy. A second choice for color is the jade. For shoes, I like the second option.

I know you like the blue dresses, but I wouldn't get blue if the suits are blue, unless its like a baby blue.

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

#7 is the only one I would wear with the shoes that you have listed. All of the other dresses are very lovely, but aren't ones you could style with a bootie.

Also, all of the dresses you picked are all synthetic dresses. Is the synthetic fabric issue not your primary issue then? I must have read your post wrong when you were talking about the importance of wearing your cotton socks with whatever dress you pick.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

5 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

#7 is the only one I would wear with the shoes that you have listed. All of the other dresses are very lovely, but aren't ones you could style with a bootie.

Also, all of the dresses you picked are all synthetic dresses. Is the synthetic fabric issue not your primary issue then? I must have read your post wrong when you were talking about the importance of wearing your cotton socks with whatever dress you pick.

My skin issue is Dyshidrotic Eczema and only affects hands and feet so my other clothes can be synthetic. The feet one is tricky because it has to keep them warm without allow moisture to sit on the skin because basically my feet are allergic to my own sweat.

Soror · January 5, 2023

13 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

#7 is the only one I would wear with the shoes that you have listed. All of the other dresses are very lovely, but aren't ones you could style with a bootie.

Also, all of the dresses you picked are all synthetic dresses. Is the synthetic fabric issue not your primary issue then? I must have read your post wrong when you were talking about the importance of wearing your cotton socks with whatever dress you pick.

I like 1 best but like you I don't think it would look good with the boot. Of those I agree with 7 being the best with the boots. I like boot 2 the best of the options.

BusyMom5 · January 5, 2023

Is changing shoes for pictures an option? I'd still getcthecboots #2, but if you could wear sandals for pictures, they would look better.

Jenny in Florida · January 5, 2023

I like #7, not only because it's really pretty (and looks comfortable), but because I think it would vibe most appropriately with the boots.

I like B for the boots.

Forget-Me-Not · January 5, 2023

I vote #6

Just a warning about JJs House. I ordered a few things from them a while back. Everything is shipped from China and takes a long time and they were *absolutely horrible* about returns. I wouldn't order from them again if my life depended on it.

catz · January 5, 2023

I like a lot of those dresses! What I would ask yourself is about waistline. Like personally, I would look better in a less defined waistline like #1 or 2 or maybe the watercolor dress. Defined waistlines tend to look better on those with closer to an hourglass figure. Like the Julie dress with the defined belt features a larger model and she looks great in it, but she still is an hour glass.

Do you have an ortho shoe store in range? We have a shoe chain locally that allows you to make like a 20 minute appointment with an ped trained fitter that could work with you. I suspect you could be fit with like a dressier looking flat or mary jane that had excellent support. I have foot issues and I actually don't think I'd be thrilled for hours in any of those boot options. They actually likely seem mediocre for comfort/support to me. If you need to do a full coverage shoe or boot for some reason, I'd probably go long and have the dress hemmed to hit the top of the shoe and I'd try to find a solid boot option where the sole and the shoe are just some dark neutral. The LifeStride ones look very casual to me. These look a little dressier/would blend better as a solid (and are likely better for support too)

https://alegriashoes.com/collections/boots-collection/products/shayne-black-boot

I do agree the watercolor dress is shown with a boot, right? That looks nice! ETA - Oh, if you zoom in I think the Julie dress is showing boots in their photo too? That one is also long enough that shoe choice will matter less.

Edited January 5, 2023 by catz

Arcadia · January 5, 2023

1 hour ago, Lawyer&Mom said:

Out of curiosity, which denim skirts are you all wearing everyday? I haven’t worn a denim skirt in decades and I wonder what’s out there.

I get from Nordstrom Rack though

https://frame-store.com/products/midi-slit-skirt-noir-coated

Boden also have a few and they have a store near me

https://www.bodenusa.com/en-us/search?fq_department=Women&fq_attr_category=Skirts&q=Denim

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

37 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

My skin issue is Dyshidrotic Eczema and only affects hands and feet so my other clothes can be synthetic. The feet one is tricky because it has to keep them warm without allow moisture to sit on the skin because basically my feet are allergic to my own sweat.

Gotcha. I have a different subtype of eczema and some other allergies that cause eczema flares.

Have you tried silk tights? My dermatologist recommends them, and it would free up a lot of shoe options for you.

MercyA · January 5, 2023

Oh, this is fun. I'm sorry you don't like clothes shopping but let us help anytime! 😉

Okay. I think all of JJ's House dresses are very pretty, but I don't think any of them would work with a boot. The only one I think is casual enough for church (even dressy church events) would be the one with the lace shrug.

I think any of the last three could work with boots. My favorite is definitely the watercolor one. So pretty, so flowy, looks very comfortable and flattering. You could wear it again for church. I'd pair it with the either of the Lifestride boots. I like the Prairie ones a little better but that is just my taste. I'd get the Prairie ones in black or ash or the Payton ones in black or grey.

To me this is a no brainer. 🙂 Love it.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

1 hour ago, BusyMom5 said:

Is changing shoes for pictures an option? I'd still getcthecboots #2, but if you could wear sandals for pictures, they would look better.

Probably not. I have a "permanent" imprint on my lower legs from the socks. It takes hours and hours of no socks before it even looks remotely normal. So the boots allow me to cover the socks but also hide my weird looking ankles/lower legs.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

52 minutes ago, Forget-Me-Not said:

I vote #6

Just a warning about JJs House. I ordered a few things from them a while back. Everything is shipped from China and takes a long time and they were *absolutely horrible* about returns. I wouldn't order from them again if my life depended on it.

Duly noted! I will scratch the JJs house ones. While I liked them they were a bit more formal than I was hoping for but I don't have a good image in my head of what would be appropriate. Never had to dress for this role and my son isn't exactly helpful in giving me fashion guidance.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

9 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Oh, this is fun. I'm sorry you don't like clothes shopping but let us help anytime! 😉

Okay. I think all of JJ's House dresses are very pretty, but I don't think any of them would work with a boot. The only one I think is casual enough for church (even dressy church events) would be the one with the lace shrug.

I think any of the last three could work with boots. My favorite is definitely the watercolor one. So pretty, so flowy, looks very comfortable and flattering. You could wear it again for church. I'd pair it with the either of the Lifestride boots. I like the Prairie ones a little better but that is just my taste. I'd get the Prairie ones in black or ash or the Payton ones in black or grey.

To me this is a no brainer. 🙂 Love it.

I'm glad someone is enjoying this even if it not's me. While many complain on this board about daily cooking chores, I will happily cook all day long, just please don't make me clothes shop! I'll still have to do the try it on and find an appropriate cami for underneath which for me is still daunting enough.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

37 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Gotcha. I have a different subtype of eczema and some other allergies that cause eczema flares.

Have you tried silk tights? My dermatologist recommends them, and it would free up a lot of shoe options for you.

I have not but I don't think they will be absorbent enough. I have a silk undershirt that I wear under sweaters but based on how that sometimes feels from a dampness perspective when I take it off, I think my feet will still break out. While they are far less sensitive than when I was younger, I will do anything, dress any way, look as ridiculous as necessary, anything to avoid triggering a breakout. Once a breakout gets started, it takes months to settled down because I simply cannot not itch the dumb stuff.

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

You can always buy a plain dress and then make it look formal through accessories. The key is to buy a dress with really clean lines and then style it with jewelry and fancier shoes, iykwim. Where we are working around booties, your hem line, at the longest, should be midi—below the knee but not quite mid calf. The leather should look posh—buttery with a bit of shine and then you can play off of that with diamonds or pearls or some other classy jewelry.

Where this is a spring wedding in the southwest, I would love to get you either into a nude colored bootie or a dusty blush colored one or a subtle turquoise one or an emerald one in a really soft, buttery leather. Any word yet on the wedding colors?

QueenCat · January 5, 2023

I don't think most of the ones you listed would go with a boot. The only one that would is this one: https://ivycityco.com/products/laney-dress-in-green-watercolor.

For boots with this dress, I'd go with: https://www.zappos.com/p/lifestride-prairie-black/product/9309533/color/3

Katy · January 5, 2023

I liked the one with the shrug, but it doesn't seem quite right with the metal details. I'll note that I have some booties from Dr Scholls because they were the right color, but they are not comfortable and I got a terrible blister from them on first wearing. They are cute.

I'd probably go to a store in person and look for something like the one with the shrug, but without metallic details. It's pretty and conservative without being dowdy and generally will be easy to find something like that in a month or two.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

20 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

You can always buy a plain dress and then make it look formal through accessories. The key is to buy a dress with really clean lines and then style it with jewelry and fancier shoes, iykwim. Where we are working around booties, your hem line, at the longest, should be midi—below the knee but not quite mid calf. The leather should look posh—buttery with a bit of shine and then you can play off of that with diamonds or pearls or some other classy jewelry.

Where this is a spring wedding in the southwest, I would love to get you either into a nude colored bootie or a dusty blush colored one or a subtle turquoise one or an emerald one in a really soft, buttery leather. Any word yet on the wedding colors?

I actually don't wear any jewelry of any kind so the dress is going to have to hold it's own.

The wedding is in Las Vegas, but since our religious group is very conservative, assume everyone in attendance will be as far from the stereotype of Las Vegas as possible.

Son said colors were baby blue or maybe light blue he wasn't really sure. We've asked to get a picture of the bridesmaid dresses because we figured, son isn't going to be very helpful on this.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

8 minutes ago, Katy said:

I liked the one with the shrug, but it doesn't seem quite right with the metal details. I'll note that I have some booties from Dr Scholls because they were the right color, but they are not comfortable and I got a terrible blister from them on first wearing. They are cute.

I'd probably go to a store in person and look for something like the one with the shrug, but without metallic details. It's pretty and conservative without being dowdy and generally will be easy to find something like that in a month or two.

Good to know the Dr. Scholls are not comfy. I'll cross them off.

I can't think of any activity in life that I find more unpleasant than clothes shopping. I can't really explain how much I deeply detest it. So if I can in way, shape, or form avoid a store I'd prefer that option. But I do recognize I may not get that option and if I have to break down and enter a store, I guess I'll have to work myself up for it.

Jean in Newcastle · January 5, 2023

Bamboo is highly absorbent and wicking. I would look into getting bamboo tights. You might want to try them on before the wedding just to see.

If you usually wear skirts, have you thought of looking for another kind of skirt (perhaps a flowy broomstick type?) to pair with one of your shirts?

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

Are we talking like Mennonite-ish, but not cape dress fashion? If that's what we're dealing with, I got you....just give me some time. ETA: I grew up in a community with a ton of Mennonites, Amish, etc.

Edited January 5, 2023 by prairiewindmomma

Jean in Newcastle · January 5, 2023

Do you have any specialty shoe stores in the area? I have extremely difficult feet - as in I can hobble in the best of days and just simply cannot walk in the wrong shoes. I found one no heel shoe that I wear to anything remotely dressy.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

Just now, prairiewindmomma said:

Are we talking like Mennonite-ish, but not cape dress fashion? If that's what we're dealing with, I got you....just give me some time.

No not that conservative, I'm Pentecostal. Colors are fine, prints are fine, sparkly is fine. Most people wear hemlines at the knee but since I'm always cold, I prefer them to be longer (mid calf is about as short as I want to go).

stephanier.1765 · January 5, 2023

I'm voting for the green watercolor. Not only is it gorgeous but you could absolutely wear it with boots and the style will easily let you wear it other places as well.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

10 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Bamboo is highly absorbent and wicking. I would look into getting bamboo tights. You might want to try them on before the wedding just to see.

If you usually wear skirts, have you thought of looking for another kind of skirt (perhaps a flowy broomstick type?) to pair with one of your shirts?

Good to know, I will look into the bamboo tights and see. I wear both dresses and skirt/shirts but I'm very casual so 99% of what I own is not appropriate for the occasion. I'm totally fine with skirt/shirt options too but since I'm still starting from scratch on that option, I haven't seen anything yet that caught my attention.

5 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

Do you have any specialty shoe stores in the area? I have extremely difficult feet - as in I can hobble in the best of days and just simply cannot walk in the wrong shoes. I found one no heel shoe that I wear to anything remotely dressy.

Possibly? I will have to look. I generally just try to avoid occasions where it matters what I wear so haven't spent much time actually trying to find suitable items.

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

What about these shoes? https://www.vionicshoes.com/lyssa-ankle-boot.html?color=314 They are from an orthotic brand that I wear quite often, and everything from that brand has been comfortable, despite the heel on the boot, because there's a wide enough toe box and adequate arch support.

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

Or these? https://www.bornshoes.com/en/kerri-10903.html?dwvar_10903_color=Cream Fog&dwvar_10903_width=M&gclid=CjwKCAiAh9qdBhAOEiwAvxIok8khO9TDZ12hL0okc_iERhQcUcdxg0Q6bGFrzSLqn7pJUFviZN8X8xoCPhoQAvD_BwE

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

2 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

What about these shoes? https://www.vionicshoes.com/lyssa-ankle-boot.html?color=314 They are from an orthotic brand that I wear quite often, and everything from that brand has been comfortable, despite the heel on the boot, because there's a wide enough toe box and adequate arch support.

I like the look but I'll admit that seems like a really high heel. I've worn a high heel for exactly three hours in my entire life and vowed never to wear heels again. So I'm willing to consider some heel, I'm unsure about my ability to walk in that match heel since I have no practice with it.

Also wear an 11 (I usually need wide for any kind of dress shoe) which just adds to the "fun" of shoe shopping for me.

And thank you so much for all your suggestions. You have no idea how much I appreciate the help of gotten on this thread!

Arcadia · January 5, 2023

22 minutes ago, cjzimmer1 said:

Good to know the Dr. Scholls are not comfy. I'll cross them off.

Dr Scholls shoes need to be broken into. I used to wear my mom’s shoes to break them in for her since I wear a size smaller and I just put vaseline/aquaphor before wearing. I find Aquatalia shoes don’t need to be broken into so I have semi casual ankle boots with different heel heights.

Would a sweater dress like this style work? It is easy to dress up or dress down with a cardigan/stole/bolero. I have something very similar in cashmere in gray by Vince and it is very comfortable.

Image from: https://us.maje.com/en/dresses/122roasty/3661601842177.html

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

5 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Or these? https://www.bornshoes.com/en/kerri-10903.html?dwvar_10903_color=Cream Fog&dwvar_10903_width=M&gclid=CjwKCAiAh9qdBhAOEiwAvxIok8khO9TDZ12hL0okc_iERhQcUcdxg0Q6bGFrzSLqn7pJUFviZN8X8xoCPhoQAvD_BwE

Definitely like the heel better on this one but would have to pick a different color. They don't have 11s in this color.

cjzimmer1 · January 5, 2023

1 minute ago, Arcadia said:

Dr Scholls shoes need to be broken into. I used to wear my mom’s shoes to break them in for her since I wear a size smaller and I just put vaseline/aquaphor before wearing. I find Aquatalia shoes don’t need to be broken into so I have semi casual ankle boots with different heel heights.

Would a sweater dress like this style work? It is easy to dress up or dress down with a cardigan/stole/bolero. I have something very similar in cashmere in gray by Vince and it is very comfortable.

Image from: https://us.maje.com/en/dresses/122roasty/3661601842177.html

That is very pretty and one of my daughters is wearing a sweater dress but unfortunately after 6 kids, I do not have the body shape that can pull off anything like this is as it shows all the bumps and bulges.

prairiewindmomma · January 5, 2023

This https://www.amazon.com/ZESICA-Womens-Casual-Sleeve-Smocked/dp/B0BFPQ37DK/ref=sr_1_18_sspa?keywords=Dress%2Bto%2BWear%2Bwith%2BBoots&qid=1672949125&sr=8-18-spons&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExTkVVNERYMU5BV1dCJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwMTc1ODg1M0o2N05VS0RCSjNVJmVuY3J5cHRlZEFkSWQ9QTA0NjkxODdIV1JOWU4zMDUzQ1omd2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9tdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl&th=1&psc=1

or https://www.amazon.com/Floerns-Womens-Floral-Sleeve-Flared/dp/B09FLBYL5M/ref=sr_1_29?crid=1BU7AXHH84JLX&keywords=baby+blue+long+dress&qid=1672947548&sprefix=baby+blue+long+dress%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-29

could be worn with nude booties, I think. Neither are very formal, but booties just aren't formal, iykwim.

Amy in NH · January 5, 2023

I don't see a poll for voting, but I don't think any of those dresses need a bootie - you could totally wear flats with any of them. FTR, I like 4563, but it depends on your coloring and body type as to which would look best on you.

sassenach · January 5, 2023

Can I veto some rather than choosing a favorite? I veto 4, 6, 8 and C. You have many lovely options!

whitestavern · January 5, 2023

I like #3 and 5 from your original post.

Toocrazy!! · January 5, 2023

I still like the watercolor green, I think it’s a pretty dress and will go well with blue and look good in pictures.
But, I looked some more, just for fun. Ha! In case you see something you like. https://www.softsurroundings.com/p/cassie-dress/

https://www.softsurroundings.com/p/alcott-dress/

https://www.softsurroundings.com/p/mira-dress/

All of these are pictured with boots, so you can kind of tell how they will look.

The Well-Trained Mind Extended Guide

My son is getting married and I need help finding a dress (Updated: have a tentative winner)

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