I am having a terrible horrible no good very bad day

[Terabith]

Last week my youngest was exposed to someone who came down with covid.  We aren’t sure if it was within her contagion window.  Last Monday-Wednesday, husband felt crappy but wrote it off as allergies.  I woke up Saturday with a horrific headache that ibuprofen didn’t touch, a sore throat, and achy joints.  Just generally didn’t feel well but not bad enough to declare that I was sick.  Sunday youngest kid is like, “I am sick,” with similar symptoms, and my Monday my headache hasn’t improved and I just feel generally exhausted and ill.  I take a rapid covid test and it’s negative.

I am pet sitting for friends.  I have to drive 25 minutes there and back twice a day and spend about a half hour with pets, because they are fed separately.  I go this morning, despite feeling lousy, get in car, drive to end of cul de sac, proceed to turn around by backing up.  Another car, parked on further sidewalk, jams on the accelerator and hits me.  She wasn’t there when I started backing up.  I have never had an accident before.  I’m crying and hysterical.  Nobody is hurt.  But her car isn’t driveable.  We call the police who says he will let insurance work it out but he doesn’t think I was at fault.  We take pictures and exchange information.  I’m hysterical and crying.  
 

Finally leave.  I get a pcr test at cvs.  
 

My oldest kid has lost their license.  You’re supposed to request it online.  I impersonate them and answer six security questions.  Create five more.  Only to be stymied by the fact that I don’t know what email is affiliated with account.  I’ve tried both of their accounts and my own.  So I can’t order a license online.  They’re driving without a license and they need one to vote.  I don’t know what else to do. Mike says to take them into the dmv office. But what if we have covid?  
 

And I still have to go back to this cul de sac twice a day for the next week to care for her snake and cats.  
 

And I’m exhausted and hysterical and I feel lousy and I’m not thinking at my best. I just don’t know what to do.  

[CindyH in NC]

I am so sorry.  That sounds overwhelming.  

[bolt.]

Breathe. You can take 10-20 minutes and breathe. Put on an app or some music and just regulate your inner systems. You need them. Therefore you need them to return to normal.

[KSera]

Oh, that really is a terrible day and last few days!

Does your oldest know what email address they used? Do they need to drive this week?

When do your friends that you are pet sitting for get back?

 

eta: but first, bolt’s advice. 

Edited May 17, 2022 by KSera

[catz]

Ugh that is a day alright.  Sending hugs.  Hope you can retreat from all that for a bit.  ❤️

[Terabith]

Friends whose cats I am caring for will be gone another week to ten days.  
 

and what do I do if we have covid?  
 

we’ve been so careful 

 

my oldest is graduating.  Oldest has to drive with or without license.  They have no idea about email 

[freesia]

Can't oldest go to the DMV to get it replaced?  That's what my ds did.

I am so sorry about everything.  I hope you don't have Covid.  I think you need to tell your friend that you are pet sitting for.  Maybe there is someone else who can do it at least for the next few days.  I think you need to stay home and recover whether you have Covid or something else.

[fairfarmhand]

Call the DMV. They may be able to reset the email or something and allow the online renewal. They don't want someone with possible covid in there so maybe they'll work with you guys.

[Terabith]

2 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Call the DMV. They may be able to reset the email or something and allow the online renewal. They don't want someone with possible covid in there so maybe they'll work with you guys.

I have spent hours on the phone with the DMV.  If you fail any questions, they can’t help you.  My husband will have to try to take them tomorrow.  Just much less efficient. I suspect an a got read as an o or something.  

[MercyA]

I am so sorry. 💙

Let your friend know you are sick and hopefully she can find someone else to do it for a while. 

[fairfarmhand]

25 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I have spent hours on the phone with the DMV.  If you fail any questions, they can’t help you.  My husband will have to try to take them tomorrow.  Just much less efficient. I suspect an a got read as an o or something.  

Oh that is INFURIATING. Ugh. I am so sorry, that is a really CRAPPY few days.

[Catwoman]

I’m so sorry things are going so badly for you. 

Sending lots of hugs and prayers!!!

[bolt.]

It really sounds like you need to self-isolate. You are sick, really quite sick, and you have no way to know if it is covid or not. Therefore you must (ethically) assume that it is covid, and act accordingly.

This means that you will have to let some people down, and some of your responsibilities will be unmet.

The covid pandemic is a global catastrophe, a natural disaster. It's going to make some people drop some balls. Some damage might happen. That's just the reality of natural disasters, and now it's a reality for you.

- Call the pet owners and tell them you can't do it. You are sorry, you are sick, and you won't be leaving the house.

- Keep your distance in the home from other family members as much as is reasonable and feasible. Make strong decisions. Let people down. Leave them to figure things out. It's not a good thing, but it's a necessary thing.

- Stay with the insurance process: it won't be fun, but it shouldn't be too strenuous even with your headache and other symptoms.

- Tell your son that you have done what you can about his license, but you weren't successful. Advise him firmly not to drive without a license. Advise him to go nowhere if he has symptoms -- if he's at home, he won't be driving anyways. If he is symptom free advise him to sort out a ride of some kind and do the work in person (masked).

- Prioritize rest and wellness. A faster recovery is the best case, so rest is the best path.

[stephanier.1765]

Feeling that bad, not only physically but mentally and emotionally, I would call today a rest day. Deal with the insurance but other than that rest. Take a nap, if you can. Today you need to take care of you.

[Terabith]

Oldest whose license is missing is fine and it’s final projects week at their school.  They have to go.  Not an option.  They’re a senior.  
 

I feel lousy but am not so sick that I can’t go to an empty house and feed critters.  And there is nobody else who is willing to take charge of two cats and a large Python.  

[Terabith]

Rapid was negative. Hopefully pcr tests will be too. 

[wintermom]

I'm so sorry you're having a really bad day on top of feeling really sick. I'm voting on the side that you only do essential things today and isolate in bed.

Ds sounds like he's adult age-wise, and should deal with his own driver's lisence. 

Pet sitting is not possible for you - can you send a child to do this in your place? Do you have a mutual friend with the pet owners that can take your place? Or just let them find their own back-up. A 25-minute drive to pet sit with gas prices this high sounds crazy to me. You are a very good friend, and they are lucky to have you. If they're smart, they will bend over backwards to support you in this situation, as tough as it all is.

[Terabith]

My husband might could go over and do the pets tonight.  My husband will try to take oldest to dmv when they get home.  It’s set up to be a online process, but we just can’t get it to work.  

[Terabith]

I can’t tell how much of my feeling terrible is physical and how much is stress.  There’s definitely physical symptoms but I was coping okay until I got super panicked with the accident.  I had been attributing symptoms mostly to barometric pressure.  

[wintermom]

9 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I can’t tell how much of my feeling terrible is physical and how much is stress.  There’s definitely physical symptoms but I was coping okay until I got super panicked with the accident.  I had been attributing symptoms mostly to barometric pressure.  

Whatever the cause, rest will be the best thing for your recovery. Were you hurt at all in the car collision? There may be some neck pain (whip lash) that will contribute to the head ache. 

I hope you're feeling better soon.

Edited May 17, 2022 by wintermom

[Annie G]

What a crummy week you’re having!  No advice, just sympathy. Hope you start feeling better, as that might make it easier for you to handle the other things. 

[I talk to the trees]

Oh, sweetie, you have had a terrible day! And I’m sorry about the accident on top of the whatever the heck bug it is you’re suffering from! 

I do have a suggestion about the DMV. Have you looked into the DMV to go bus? You could explain the possible covid situation, and maybe they could come outside or meet you at the door to the bus for the transaction. I avoid the actual DMV building like, uh, well…..the plague😂, and have always had actually *nice* interactions with the folks on the bus. 

[mommyoffive]

oh man that is a terrible day.  I am so sorry.  I hope you feel better soon.

[bolt.]

32 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I can’t tell how much of my feeling terrible is physical and how much is stress.  There’s definitely physical symptoms but I was coping okay until I got super panicked with the accident.  I had been attributing symptoms mostly to barometric pressure.  

I really hope you don't take this the wrong way. I feel like I know a bit about how you usually think through things, and I think you are a smart person that does a great job of that. My observation is that, right now, you don't seem as smart as you usually are. I think your headache is impacting your thinking abilities.

Please consider stepping back and having other people handle the responsibilities for now.

You deserve rest. And you clearly need it.

[Katy]

I think it’s reasonable to think you have some other virus or a combination of allergies/ migraine/ pressure drop with several negative tests. Do the bare minimum and go home. The adult whose license lapsed is likely capable of handling this while you are sick. Curl up with a movie and your cat, watch or take a nap as you relax. 

[kristin0713]

I agree that you should relax when you can. But also, with a negative test, I’d put on a mask and do what needs to be done, including going to the DMV. 

[Terabith]

17 minutes ago, Katy said:

I think it’s reasonable to think you have some other virus or a combination of allergies/ migraine/ pressure drop with several negative tests. Do the bare minimum and go home. The adult whose license lapsed is likely capable of handling this while you are sick. Curl up with a movie and your cat, watch or take a nap as you relax. 

Oldest’s license is not lapsed.  It’s just MISSING. They’re legal to drive; they just don’t have it.  
 

I wasn’t injured remotely.  I wasn’t even going two miles an hour as I cautiously backed up.  Other car pulled forward at much greater speed and crashed.  I could see them being injured though they said they weren’t.  
 

I am just really upset about everything.  I keep trying to accomplish stuff and it keeps not working.  Just got a call from pharmacy that prescriptions can’t be filled….

[Spryte]

Sending some hugs and echoing that curling up with the cat and a movie is a good plan.

[Drama Llama]

9 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Sending some hugs and echoing that curling up with the cat and a movie is a good plan.

This!  But choose the cat that doesn’t attack.  

[saraha]

Poor terabith! Hugs

[Kanin]

Since oldest is just missing their license, I'd say just drive. Getting pulled over is unlikely if they're usually careful driving. My DH drives all the time and forgets his wallet. I don't think it's illegal to drive without your license physically on you, is it? 

[freesia]

25 minutes ago, Kanin said:

Since oldest is just missing their license, I'd say just drive. Getting pulled over is unlikely if they're usually careful driving. My DH drives all the time and forgets his wallet. I don't think it's illegal to drive without your license physically on you, is it? 

I think it is, but it's a fine I believe.

[Lillyfee]

That is a lot but what always helps me on overwhelming days is to count my blessings.

Nobody died, you and your family are safe, they are all here, you have a roof over your head and all that other stuff is not that important. You will get through that and everything will be alright.

Go one step after the other.

Hugs.

[Innisfree]

I’m so sorry. That does sound like a genuinely rotten day. Sounds like plenty of good advice has been given already, but I hope you feel better soon.

[Soror]

(hugs) that is a terrible, no good, very bad day--- I hope today is a better one

[wintermom]

18 hours ago, Terabith said:

Oldest’s license is not lapsed.  It’s just MISSING. They’re legal to drive; they just don’t have it.  
 

I wasn’t injured remotely.  I wasn’t even going two miles an hour as I cautiously backed up.  Other car pulled forward at much greater speed and crashed.  I could see them being injured though they said they weren’t.  
 

I am just really upset about everything.  I keep trying to accomplish stuff and it keeps not working.  Just got a call from pharmacy that prescriptions can’t be filled….

So glad you weren't injured. I hope that you are feeling better today, and that you were able to rest and sleep well. 

[itsheresomewhere]

There is a nasty virus going around.  Not covid, not flu, not strep so it may be this virus.

Mask and go to the DMV. It stinks but I get it.  DH recently lost his license.  Our DMV has all lost licenses have to be done online and you must know your license number.  Otherwise, they can’t help you.  Thank goodness I happened to find his number on a document otherwise we will oils still be arguing with the DMV.  

[scholastica]

Hoping today is a better day for you and your family.

[Xahm]

17 hours ago, Kanin said:

Since oldest is just missing their license, I'd say just drive. Getting pulled over is unlikely if they're usually careful driving. My DH drives all the time and forgets his wallet. I don't think it's illegal to drive without your license physically on you, is it? 

In our state it's still illegal to drive without it with you, but it's a super minor thing, like a 5 or 10 dollar fine for "No license on person." If an officer pulls someone over and can't find them in the computer system, they'll get a "driving without a license" ticket, but it can automatically be lowered to the "No license on person" if the person takes their license with them to the courthouse any time before the fine is due.

[Lilaclady]

Does your oldest have a picture of the license that they can show if pulled over? Or at least know the license number? That might help alleviate some stress as they can give that.