Do people go to their 20 year high school reunion?

[DawnM]

I am on the reunion committee.....😂  So yes, I have gone to all of them so far.   I love seeing everyone.    But I think my situation is unique.   I went to a boarding school overseas and we are a close group, like siblings in many ways.  Of course we have a closer friends and groups, but we enjoy it.

Ours last about 4 to 5 days.   We pick a place and a hotel and we all fly in and hang out for days.   Pool side, some sightseeing or mini-trips, spending time together, etc....

Edited April 21, 2022 by DawnM

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 hour ago, DawnM said:

I am on the reunion committee.....😂  So yes, I have gone to all of them so far.   I love seeing everyone.    But I think my situation is unique.   I went to a boarding school overseas and we are a close group, like siblings in many ways.  Of course we have a closer friends and groups, but we enjoy it.

Ours last about 4 to 5 days.   We pick a place and a hotel and we all fly in and hang out for days.   Pool side, some sightseeing or mini-trips, spending time together, etc....

Mine too - down to the overseas boarding school. 

[LucyStoner]

I live in the area and there is usually a big get together every five to ten years.  There was a big thing for +\-20 in 2018.  I say +\- because it’s a small school and the gatherings tend to be for anyone who went to this school from about a 3-5 year range. 
 

I didn’t go.  I never go.  I have my friends from high school who I see when I see them (some when we happen to be in the same town, some are actually still regular friends).  Theres one teacher I am still friendly with.  There’s no one I wonder about whom I’m not still in touch with to the degree I want to be.  

Right after I graduated, a long time popular teacher who I suspected to be a creep got fired for being a creep.  He picked the wrong girl to creep on that year and her parents were lawyers and they went for his job and kept going until he was fired. As they should, he more than had it coming. This caused a huge rift in the school community with someone people defending him and attacking her.  And honesty, I don’t want to go and deal with the people who came down for the teacher and against the student.  

Edited April 21, 2022 by LucyStoner

[Jean in Newcastle]

I really don't think that there is a right or wrong answer.  I do think that my own answer is hugely influenced by the fact that my graduating class was 30 students.  I knew every single one of them, even the ones I didn't get along with, extremely well.  So even though I haven't had contact with many of these people for years, I still care about them.  And when we do connect online, people share what is (in my opinion) really intimate details about their lives.  (Much like this site, actually).  But as someone else said, my close friends are people that I have kept contact with throughout the years.  So going to the reunion this summer will not be to connect with them, but with some of the people who I've lost contact with but still care about. 

[Laura Corin]

I went to my thirtieth but won't go again. I'm already in contact with the person who was important to me. My interactions with other people on the day ranged from polite chitchat to downright weird - one woman was still seething about praise that a teacher gave me in high school.

[shawthorne44]

I might be interested in a 3-year chunk for the reunion.  My school was so big I doubt they'd do that though.  
Do any reunions make badges using the yearbook photos?   I would have recognized no one at the one I went to if three hadn't recognized me first.  

[KatieJ]

We did! We (DH and I) have a group of friends that all graduated the same year. DH and I grew up with the gals, the other 3 guys lived in a different part of town, but we all ended up at the same high school. We paired off our senior year and are all still married over 45 years later. 

We had a great time! I think it would be very different going with a spouse you didn’t graduate with.

[QueenCat]

Dh only went to the school he graduated from for two years. I went to school with the same kids from kindergarten through high school. And college for a few 😁. We went to my ten year. It was still a little cliquey. It didn't work out for later years. The 40th is next year. I'm hoping it won't be at the same time as my nephew's graduation. If not, I'll be there. I doubt dh will choose to go with me. 

[Lawyer&Mom]

I’ve gone and I will continue to go.  I had a small graduating class of about 150 and I’ve known many of those kids since preschool.  When everyone knows everyone there are always people to talk to.  My parents still live in the community, so it’s also an excuse to visit family.  

[elegantlion]

I've gone to a few, like the 5 and 10. Beyond that, no. I saw pics of my 25th and wondered who had married this old guy. I then realized he was one of the most popular guys in school and was completely white haired by 25 years out. 😏

I've seen the people I care to see, I keep in touch with others via social media. I graduated in the 80s, things were really cliquish in my large graduating class. Social media has broken down some of those barriers, so it's cool to see people interact with people they wouldn't have talked to in high school. 

[BlsdMama]

The two who would have coordinated it weren’t in state so I don’t think there was even an informal one? If there was another, since we’re living in state, I’d probably go. We were at DH’s 25 year reunion - 2016. It was fun. He graduated with my sister in law and I love her and DH’s brother so that made it easy for me. I knew a few of his friends. I was in shape and healthy for that one - weird that that matters? It was also shortly after we moved back so we hadn’t seen anyone for a while. Now that I’m sick would I go to mine? Interesting thing to ponder…. I’ve really seen the people that matter to me, all three of them. It’s no secret what I have - Facebook. So, really, if I wanted to see someone or they wanted to see me, considering the situation, we’d have made it happen, kwim? They were people I loved and who were important but probably don’t have a ton in common with now. 🤷🏼‍♀️ Fun to catch up, but that’s what FB is for without the need to carve out time and catch up? Maybe that’sa depressing commentary on how relationships degrade? I loved high school when I was there but I’ve changed a lot and I really don’t like or respect 17yo me. I’m not sure I’d want an evening of reminiscing about her…

Edited April 21, 2022 by BlsdMama

[Kalmia]

I went to a very toxic public high school for one year and then transferred to a tiny, artsy, liberal arts focused high school with architecture like a German castle. I was there with all the other "misfit toys" and instantly welcomed. Those were the best three years of my education and the other students were just as inspiring as the unconventional teachers. We many of us lost touch after graduation, but ten years in someone called round and gathered every contact and held a reunion. This first reunion was a little awkward as no one had really found their footing in the world yet, but it was nice. Subsequent reunions when we were a bit more grown up were a love fest. Spouses have come and commented that they wished their high school had been like ours, we adopt them. The reunions are for anyone who ever graduated from the school or taught at the school (which closed in 1989). So we had an age span of 40+ years at most of them. Except for COVID years, we had been having the reunions every 3 years because everyone wanted them that often!

So, I would never in a million years go to the reunion for my first high school. Nor would I go to a reunion at my college (which I loved academically, but hated socially) where I made only three friends. But those reunions of the private school were gold in terms of rekindling old friendships and making new friends.

I realize that most people's experiences would be more like the one I'd have if I went to the public school reunion. I am an outlier.

[Lecka]

I went to my 10-year.  I didn’t go to my 20-year but enjoyed activity on the Facebook page.  
 

I think I will enjoy Facebook activity for the 30-year.  People will post old pictures and things like that.  People will post updates about popular teachers.  
 

I am interested in things like that.

 

I don’t know if I will attend or not.  I would check with one main friend to see her plans.  Otherwise it would be pretty random if I saw people I particularly knew, and I wouldn’t be making side plans with anyone else.  If she goes I will want to go and make side plans with her.  

[athena1277]

I enjoyed going to my 10 year reunion and catching up with everyone.  I wanted to go to the 20 year reunion, but it was near the time when my youngest was born.  I was disappointed, but then I saw a few pictures on FB.  Not many people went to it and those who did were not the people I was closest to.  Dh wasn’t interested in either.

[Lady Florida.]

I went to my 5, 10, and 20 year reunions but haven't felt the desire to go since (and there have been more since the 20). Each time I went with the three people I still keep in touch with and realized they're really the only people I care about still seeing anyway. I didn't know dh for my 5 or 10 year but he went with me to the 20. Funny thing - The four of us (the other three and me) have seen each other every few years so we watched each other age slowly. We hadn't seen most of our classmates since our 10 year reunion. At the 20 year one of my friends asked, "Who are all these old people at our class reunion?" 😂😂😂

I went with dh to his 20 year and he went by himself to the 25 year. After that last on he decided he doesn't care about going anymore either.

ETA - We both grew up in this area though we attended different schools. Travel isn't an issue for attending our reunions. We've simply moved on and have different friends. 

Edited April 21, 2022 by Lady Florida.

[Arcadia]

I would if I am in town being the extrovert that I am. Also a close in age cousin died in a house fire and I didn’t know. So I would not miss a chance to attend a reunion and just touch base. My husband on the other hand dislike reunions because his classmates would just talk about jobs and personal wealth.

[gardenmom5]

Dh went to his, and was very glad he went.  Most people had "gotten over themselves" so they could just be people sharing their common background.
He's gone to them ever since and it's just fun.

fun fact..  . . One of his classmates was one of my high school teachers . . . I recognized him, but couldn't quite place him until later.

I went to my ten, but none since.  I was interested in my last one - but they didn't have it because . . .covid. . . .

[Ellie]

On 4/20/2022 at 4:19 PM, Slache said:

Hubby's is next year and mine's the year after. He wants to go, I don't. His is probably going to be alumni only, so either he will fly up alone or we will all fly up $$$! for him to go to a bar with people he hasn't bothered to speak to in 20 years. And I'm fat.

I went to my 10 year and it was ok, but we lived in town. DS11 and DD9 wants to go to mine to see our Oregon friends, so we'll probably do that anyway. I don't want to bother flying to either. What's your experience?

I did, but only because I was going to be in town anyway; I would not have traveled from the left coast to the right coast for it. FTR, I did not go to my 50th (!!!) reunion, because I went to the 40th (!!!!!) and no one recognized me. I figured I could visit with the people I knew, almost any time (in fact, I'm FB Friends with the ones from high school that I cared about), so there was need to go to the reunion. Even though we were the first graduating class so we were extra. 🙂

Mr. Ellie went to his 10th but never heard about any of the others. Weird. Anyway, he was active in high school, but he has no contact whatsoever with any of his friends from school, so even if he had known about the reunions he might not have gone.

[Faith-manor]

No, neither of us enjoyed high school or formed any relationships that continued beyond high school. I consider high school to be only slightly better than middle school which is just not something worth "celebrating". I also graduated at 16 so I didn't fit in with my graduating class.

We have never attended college reunions either.

We have a lot of bucket list items we would rather use the money toward as well.

But my mom goes to her one room schoolhouse reunion. She attended there through the 8th grade and a lot of them stayed in the area, and are in and out of each other's lives here and there so it seems like they have a good time when they meet.

[Junie]

I would enjoy going to a reunion, but whoever is supposed to plan them doesn't.

We had one reunion and I had a good time, but there haven't been any since.

[Plateau Mama]

We both went to our 20 but if we had to do it over again we would skip.  Honestly, with social media I think reunions are nonrelevant now.  Anyone I would like to catch up with I am friends on FB or follow on Instagram etc.  Our 30th was postponed bc of Covid, and I haven't heard anything about this year so it probably is not going to happen at all.  

[katilac]

On 4/21/2022 at 1:49 AM, Jean in Newcastle said:

 I do think that my own answer is hugely influenced by the fact that my graduating class was 30 students.  

Agreed, in the opposite direction. My graduating class was 500 students - 200 people could go to the reunion, and it's possible I would never have met any of them. 

[HomeAgain]

I haven't gone yet.  I am sorry I missed the last few, though.  People I hung out with in high school and really considered good friends have passed away.  I'd say it's at least 5-6 from my class now.  I left the summer after graduation and never came back, but slowly got back in touch with those back home.

There was talk last I checked about doing a mid-decade one in someone's backyard (rural town, backyards are pretty big).  If that happens, I might do it.  Me, alone, no one else from the family coming with me.  It's the middle of nowhere and I'd rather not subject anyone else to where I used to live. 😄

[Lady Florida.]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

Agreed, in the opposite direction. My graduating class was 500 students - 200 people could go to the reunion, and it's possible I would never have met any of them. 

Yes, mine had over 600. If a new high school hadn't opened my senior year it would have had several hundred more. At the reunions though, there were probably only about 200 who attended.