How important is overnight camp?

[lovinmyboys]

My oldest ds just turned 13 and none of my kids have ever been to overnight camp. Dh really wants to try to make it happen maybe next summer because he has really good memories of camp. I went to camp for one week during five summers, but I barely remember it. We have 4 kids and I would rather just spend my money on family trips,  but now I am wondering if summer camp is a “must do” childhood experience. And if it is a high priority for you, what do you look for in a camp or do you have one to recommend? Yes, this summer isn’t even over yet and I am planning for next summer instead of planning school this year, lol.

[Pen]

I had my Ds go once to sleep away camp for a week at 14 ish because I felt he needed the experience of being away from home and family.   I  would have liked him to do a one month program this summer, but he did not want to. 

 

[Jentrovert]

It is not a priority for me at all. I never went to camp and never wanted to. It's not too common where I live, though. I think some kids go to some kind of church camp, maybe, but that's all I've heard about. I will be very surprised if our kids ever go to camp. I'd much rather spend the money on other experiences and I don't feel that they need to be away from us for any length of time. Now that I think about it, I'd actually be pretty uncomfortable with them spending a week day and night with a group of strangers. I MIGHT feel better about it if it were with a group I know well, but I doubt it. 

As older teens, I'm sure they will have experiences being away from us for lengths of time, but it won't likely be at camp. It would be more likely to be trips with close friends for recreation and/or volunteer work. Which I guess is like a camp with people you know.

[Arcadia]

DS14’s reason for not doing summer camp is because he doesn’t like roommates. He said having DS13 for roommates daily is bad enough and it would be worse if he gets summer camp roommates that are “nightmares”. He is actually putting colleges that has compulsory dorm policy for freshmen low on his potential college application list. 

I went for an overseas school trip in 9th grade (14 years 3months old) for a few days. It was four students to a hotel (similar to holiday inn express) room. There were lots of teachers accompanying.  Locally, the public schools plan for a Washington DC trip for 8th graders annually.

While I think it would be a good experience for my kids, I think forcing them before they are willing will just backfire badly on us (parents). My husband’s first overnight camp was the year after his high school graduation, he had already turned 18.

For camps, I would read parent reviews on bullying at camps their kids attended. While that is not foolproof, we won’t want to send our kids to camps that are not well run. My kids have attended summer day camps that were run with mainly temp staff,  and there were many times things weren’t well run because the temp staff didn’t know what to do as they have never attended the camp as kids and they have never worked in the camp before either (that’s for YMCA as well as private robotics camp). The camp that DS14 enjoyed the most was a math camp because all the instructors and aides were seasoned campers. Most of the aides had attended the camp as students before. So DS14 felt that it was a coherent camp.

[HSmomof2]

I don’t think it’s a “must”. If I had to choose between camp and family trips, I’d definitely choose family trips. I went to drum major camp for a week in high school. It was fine, certainly not a life altering experience. 

[Carrie12345]

My daughter’s did their first overnight camp last summer, at 15 and 16. Before that, all of the “camps” in their interest areas had been day camps. Sometimes I wished they would be overnight camps to save me driving, lol, but I never thought to send them to an overnight “just because”.  Maybe I would have if we lived more suburban or urban.

[Pawz4me]

Neither of our boys ever did an overnight camp. It wasn't a thing that was on our radar at all. I've always kind of assumed (perhaps wrongly, of course) that most camps were more or less a service meant for kids with two working parents who needed  to cobble together summer child care. I can only remember the boys doing one camp ever, and that was a baseball thing that DH wanted them to attend.

Edited August 5, 2019 by Pawz4me

[Guest]

I don’t think it’s crucial but if a good opportunity turns up, it can be a great experience. My two older kids never did an away camp, though they did shorter retreats with the church youth for three days. 

My youngest (14) did go to camp for two weeks this summer - the longest of any of my kids. Last year was the first time; that was a one week camp. I chose to do this because several of his friends were going and the camp director is a friend’s brother. I think it was a great experience. I assume he will continue to go throughout high school. 

One part of your post I want to mention is this: consider what your dh thinks is important, too. No matter what a bunch of people on the internet think about camp being necessary or not, your husband’s views about the importance of camp deserve regard. 

[marbel]

I think my kids benefited from going away to camp but I wouldn't call  it a must-do.   I enjoyed the break from my kids, too, when their camps coincided.  I do know people who think it's a necessary thing for kids, and people who don't send their kids at all. 

ETA: re: Quill's point:

Quote

One part of your post I want to mention is this: consider what your dh thinks is important, too. No matter what a bunch of people on the internet think about camp being necessary or not, your husband’s views about the importance of camp deserve regard.

I agree this is very important. My husband did go away to camp every year as a kid, and had great memories of it. He didn't insist on it for our kids, but it may have played a part in our decision to send them the first time.

Edited August 5, 2019 by marbel

[DawnM]

Here is my take on summer camp, sports, extra curricular activities, missions type trips......

If they ask for it, I figure they want it, and I find a way to help them get there.  If they don't care or don't want it, I don't push.

All my boys did multiple overnight camps in their cub/boyscout troops, and they all did church camps at least one summer.  Middle did three missions' trips, youngest has done two school trips.  

Some were tent/backpacking trips, some were hotel overnights, and others were cabin type accommodations.

After ALL the tent/backpacking trips they did (oldest even went to Philmont!) they now HATE tent camping and have no desire to backpack or trek through a mountain.  They used to love it, I honestly thought it was something they would keep doing.  But nope!  They say they are DONE with all of it.   I am sad, but it is their choice.

[marbel]

14 minutes ago, DawnM said:

<snip>

After ALL the tent/backpacking trips they did (oldest even went to Philmont!) they now HATE tent camping and have no desire to backpack or trek through a mountain.  They used to love it, I honestly thought it was something they would keep doing.  But nope!  They say they are DONE with all of it.   I am sad, but it is their choice.

My former boy scout felt this way (he didn't go to Philmont though) when he was done, hated camping, hiking, etc. But now, 5 years later, he is thinking that he might like to camp again.  I think he needed a break from it.  May not be that way for your kids, but I was surprised recently when mine said he would be interested, after vehemently stating he would never tent camp again.

[alisoncooks]

DH and I have fond memories of camp, so we sent our girls as soon as they were old enough (they've been going for a week ever since they were about 8). They both love it! Now they go for one week to the camp I went to growing up and one week to camp with our church. 

As far as what to look for: what kind of camp experience do you want? (Cabins, dorms, religious, sporty, music/drama, etc). Who staffs the camp and what safety precautions are in place?

I never questioned whether my kids would go (to where I went). It has a strong generational tradition (my kids go with the kids of people attended with).

[TravelingChris]

My kids all did them.  Mission trips or retreats, choir trip (my son), boy scout camps (my oldest and youngest), girl scout camp (my two girls once in Europe), church camp (one child), all three in High School went away to college camps (one was language based, one was mock trial, and third was science and engineering).  Youngest dd also went to an engineering camp at our local college where she was spending nights there too.

The one thing it really helped them with was confidence and problem solving.

[RootAnn]

My DH never did overnight camp. I did a day camp that I loved when I was younger and a school-affiliated outdoor experience in 6th grade, but overnight camps mostly waited until high school.

I wanted my kids to have a chance to experience camp but have found most of them would rather stay home. Dd#1 loved her one week math contest camp and went many summers (and would have been a counselor this year had the camp schedule not changed & I had not made her do something different during that time). All my other kids either barely tolerated overnight camp or mildly enjoyed some parts (with quite a bit of homesickness). Thus, except for math camp, there have been no repeat attendance.  (ETA:  I forgot the older two girls did a few church camp repeats together. Neither one loved it but they tolerated it together.) One hasn't gone to an overnight camp yet & has no desire to. Apparently, food is better at home (?)!

If a great opportunity came up, I'd send a kid. If they ask to go, I'd send a kid. I sent them once so they would know what was out there. They were, mostly, not happy to be sent. But now they know it isn't their cup of tea. (I loved my camps but it was a great treat to be away from my family. So, I guess I should be happy they'd rather be home.)

Edited August 5, 2019 by RootAnn

[SKL]

I think it's really good for kids to experience being responsible for themselves in a way they can't be at home.  However, I have learned that "the right age" for that depends very much on the child.  One of mine was ready a lot earlier than the other, and my eagerness backfired.  It's not an emergency, but there is value in making it happen when they are ready.  (And a word to the wise - I would not send them too far away for the first time, in case unexpected issues arise and you end up driving them home in the middle of the week.)

[Lecka]

I have a strange experience a bit, my son who has autism just did his second week (second year) of camp at a free Rotary Club camp.  I think it is so good for him, such a good experience.  It is not easy for him to have experiences where he is really independent, or at all doing something his siblings don’t do.

My daughter this summer had an opportunity to do either 4-H camp (a very reasonably priced overnight weeklong camp — similar to YMCA camp in our previous town, which there was the very reasonably priced overnight camp).  

She just didn’t want to go.  She didn’t have anyone to go with.

She also had an opportunity for church camp.  The other girls in her Sunday School class were not ready and their parents (actually grandparents) didn’t want to push them, my daughter didn’t want to go without knowing anyone...

My older son went to week-long Boy Scout camp previously and it was a great experience for him, but since none of his friends go and he just is not interested.

So I think I come down in agreeing — where a specific child wants it, try to make it happen.

Or when it would be a big deal for a certain child who does not have as many opportunities, make it happen.  

But I don’t think it’s necessary.

If it means a lot to your husband I think it’s something to negociate — I can certainly see how it would have been very significant to your husband.  

But I think either — it can be child by child, or it can be the cheapest YMCA or 4H camp — if that is okay with your husband.  Or maybe Boy Scout camp.  My older son had a great, great experience at a Boy Scout camp, but we moved and now he isn’t in Boy Scouts and his social group is different.  I think it’s different but not worse — the Boy Scout camp was very good for him, but things are good for him now, too.  

I think if my husband was really invested in camp — I would agree for kids who wanted to go, but look for cheaper options that would still allow for a family vacation, and make the family vacation and camp both cheaper if that was what was needed.  

 

[Hoggirl]

My ds did all manner of overnight camps and summer programs.  

His first year to do sleepaway sports camp was when he had just turned  9 years old, and it was for a week.  He returned the next summer for a two-week camp at age 10. He started Scouting at 11 and that meant monthly weekend camping trips and BSA summer camp added to the two-week sleepaway sports camp.  The summer he turned 13, things really ramped up and he did two weeks at sleepaway sports camp, a week at BSA camp, and a three week summer academic program through Duke TIP.  At 14 he did the same.  At 15 he dropped the sleepaway sports camp but had a week of BSA camp, a three-week piano academy, and a three-week summer academic program at Stanford.  At 16 (summer before his senior year) he did a week of BSA camp and a five-week, for credit college program at WashU.  All that to say, that we were big into summer camps and programs and from age 13 onward he was gone 5-7 weeks every summer. 

As an only, these all provided a great way for him to learn to live with other people and share space.   IMO, the academic camps provide a means to become familiar with what it’s like living on a college campus in a supervised way.  All camps (other than BSA where he was with his troop) provided confidence that he could go into a new setting where he did not know a soul and make friends. I believe camps help grow independence.  Not every kid will wind up living on campus, of course, but I think it’s important to learn that you can survive without mom and dad around.  

Now, these all came at great expense, and we only have the one ds.  I would not say that overnight camp per se’ is a must do, but IMO, having your kids have time away from you is important.  I have one friend whose daughter never spent a night away (not even with her grandparents) without her parents present until she moved into her college dorm.  Needless to say, it was a rough first year for all.  

Please note that providing these experiences can be a double-edged sword.  Ds chose to attend college 1,800 miles from home.  He chose to remain in that state when he graduated.  He is fiercely independent.  He loves us, but he certainly doesn’t need us.  Knowing he would likely never return to the state in which he was raised, we have since moved further away from him, and we are now on opposite coasts.  

I grew up going to summer camp for a month and loved it, so the idea of ds going was something that I was sort of natural to me. 

Edited August 5, 2019 by Hoggirl

[Lecka]

Really I think if your kids are already active in sports, that is a big activity, they don’t need to have camp on top of that.

But I don’t think it’s worth fighting with a spouse over it, if it’s maybe fine either way (I would fight over a child who honestly didn’t want to go).

But I think wanting a family vacation is also so legitimate.

I would hope for finances to work out for both, with both maybe being lower-priced if needed.  

I would also consider trading off summers with one being camps and one being a family vacation.  I think that is fair and my husband (lol — your husband is the one who matters here) I think would go along with that.

My husband actually doesn’t like anything where kids might be sent away because parents don’t want them around — he doesn’t care for it and he is on the side of kids not going.  So I have to be sure it’s good or my kids have to really want to go, or they don’t go because my husband doesn’t want my kids to feel like they are sent away.

I feel more like — it’s good for kids to at least go to church camp! 

But we have compromised I guess, neither of us has gotten our way totally and it has been completely fine.  

[Lecka]

This is not me but my husband — he has the opposite experience of Hoggirl — he was sent to live with his grandparents for 6 months when he was a young teen, and hated it. So his personal experiences are more “don’t send kids away.” My personal experience was — I went to church camp one week for several years, and loved it.

So we have just had to compromise and see what our kids are interested in or what makes sense to specific kids.

I think anything can be okay and it’s not worth fighting over, though, overall.

But I think each parent’s preference should count for a lot, and any specific kid who has a preference or would seem to be particularly well served.  

But I don’t think it’s definitely better one way or another, it can be a family value to choose a family vacation or camps for each child, if only one is possible, and in general I think either way is completely fine, because there are pros and cons either way and it can just be a choice.  

[Lecka]

I do think if you really want a family vacation and funds are not there for both (but a family vacation could be very cheap too, I think, but sometimes there is only money for one) I personally think if there’s only money for one or the other; I think it would be fair to switch off summers, and then see if kids would really prefer camp or a family vacation 2-4 years from now, when the oldest (or older) kids have done both and can have a preference.  

That is just what seems fair to me.

I am on the side of “kids like camp and should go” and my husband isn’t, and I have compromised, and it has been fine and isn’t worth fighting over — basically.  

My step-dad I am very close to has also said he doesn’t want kids to feel like they are sent away, so I can see that side for my husband.  

But I’m on the side that it’s good for kids who are ready and willing to go, or want to go, but I’m willing to compromise for sure.

It’s hard to explain but definitely this is something where my husband and I don’t see eye to eye, but in the scheme of things it’s not that big of a deal and I think we have both compromised on it — with him thinking kids have gone to camp too much, and me thinking kids have gone to camp too little.  According to our preferences.  But it’s not an issue between us, at this point, I think we have had decent compromises.

My husband will never think that going to camp is desirable so I will never convince him that way, but we have compromised because all my kids have at least been to church camp for 2 nights, though they don’t all go every summer.  

[Hoggirl]

@Lecka - I think there is a big difference between being “sent away” (which isn’t really how I view camps) for a short stint of a week or two and six months.  Obviously, I don’t know why your dh had to go and live with his grandparents, but I don’t see those things as similar. 

[Lecka]

I have been angry though because he has said “it’s too expensive” and I haven’t thought it was too expensive.  But that’s a compromise because of course he thinks it’s too expensive if he doesn’t care about it at all, and of course I think it’s reasonable if I would like them to go.  

We have just compromised, really, and if our kids don’t really care we do side on the side of not doing it.  But they have all gone to church camp, my oldest to Boy Scout camp, my youngest to special needs camp.... but with my oldest saying he really liked Boy Scout camp but now he is less interested — I do listen to that, and it is also my husband’s preference, and I think it’s fine.  

[Lecka]

Yeah it’s definitely a shady, messed-up, not-stable situation that my husband was sent to live with his grandparents, and attend one semester of school, with his sister, while the littlest brother stayed with his parents.

It’s not something I think, as an adult, was my ILs making good choices in their lives.

But it still influences my husband, and my step-dad is also someone who was un-stably sent to stay with an aunt or an older sister sometimes.

And it does influence how both of them see summer camp.

Its not my thing at all or how I see things; but I can accept that it is how my husband sees things.  And I have read fiction books where parents send their kids away to boarding school or summer camp so that the parents can party and whatever. 

Its not how I see it and I do think it is valuable for children.

But I can see it for people who have felt sent away, so — I compromise there.  

[shawthorne44]

I think overnight camp was critical to my personal development.  But, then my mother tends to be controlling, and vacations made it much more so.   I remember our last family vacation was when I was 15.  It was a nice trip up the California coast.  Except that if I wasn't within arms reach at all times, mom freaked out.  Even things like browsing in stores, I had to be browsing really near mom.  I started going to the bathroom just to sit there and get some alone time.  Trouble is mom's bladder is the size of a pee, so she frequently needed to use the bathroom.  Twice I was allowed to walk up the beach by myself, but within sight of the hotel room. 

Going to camp was heaven.  I loved doing the activities, and I went to horse camp so it was mostly horses and swimming. 

[Lecka]

It’s just out of my hands, that my husband and SIL were sent to stay with grandparents while my littlest BIL stayed with the parents.  

And my step-dad had similar.

I think it’s all just unstable stuff.  

But compared to that — going to summer camp or not should be small stuff, I guess, when overall things are stable and appropriate.

I think too there is a big space between not going to summer camp, and never spending a night away from parents before college. 

I think that seems very difficult, needlessly difficult, to me, but there are other ways to spend a night away than summer camp.  But if summer camp is that avenue — I would prioritize it higher!

I do think that is very valuable and worthwhile and for sure!

[shawthorne44]

1 minute ago, Lecka said:

...

Its not my thing at all or how I see things; but I can accept that it is how my husband sees things.  And I have read fiction books where parents send their kids away to boarding school or summer camp so that the parents can party and whatever. ...

 

I remember one year at Girl Scout Camp there was a girl that was there for the whole summer.  Her parents 'went to Europe' for the summer.  Normally every other weekend was a no-kid weekend for the workers to relax, but her parents had made special arrangements.  I think all of us felt simultaneously jealous of her and sorry for her.  Jealous because it was an awesome camp.  Sorry because we all understood that her parents didn't want to be with her. 

But, a camp that is a week or two.   That is different. 

[Sherry in OH]

My sons are scouts.  Summer camp is a priority for our family.  My younger son went to resident camp for the first time this year.  He was apprehensive about being away from dh and me for a week, but went with the promise that if he hated it, he would not have to go next year.  He loved it.  He came back bubbling with plans for next summer.  My oldest has always loved summer camp and wants to be on staff as soon as he is old enough.   If either of my children hated camp, I would not require him to go again.  But, I did want each of them to experience resident camp.

Research the opportunities in your area - sports camps, church camps, scout camps, Rotary, 4-H ...  Are there any that interest your children?  Perhaps you and your husband could agree that interested children get the option of attending camp once they reach a certain age.   If your family is open to scouting, your children would have the opportunity to do one and two night campouts throughout the year.  That would help prepare them (and you) for summer camp.  

If you are really opposed to the idea of your children attending camp without you, investigate family camps.

[Lecka]

Yeah there is really no explanation for the 6 months my husband and SIL spent with their grandparents, and I have about zero respect for my ILs.  Not the grandma my husband lived with, though..... it’s shady and a part of a reason I have little respect for them.  

Sometimes there is just more to the story, on things.  

An awesome camp that’s awesome for 1-2 sessions just isn’t the same if a kid is getting dumped there.  

And that is with a camp being a really incredible opportunity!

[catz]

Both my kids started doing a 1 week sleep away camp in middle school.  Both (including my rising college freshman) is going next week.  They LOVE it so much.  I thought maybe the 18 year old wouldn't want to do his last year at this program but nope, he's excited and has friends going too.  

Anyway - I think the right camp can be a great opportunity to practice some independence and really bond with some other kids and adults.  That said, if it's financially difficult I think there are plenty of other ways to gain those skills.  

[Lecka]

I do really think too, if money is spent on camps, there can be very special family times that are day trips or day outings, or a weekend trip, that have making s’mores or whatever, and it will be the same difference to kids.  I don’t think it matters to kids if there is a multi-day trip or not, if the kids are doing well and having some nice times.

There will always be someone who has taken a fancier trip, that is just life. 

[kokotg]

I've never seen it as a must do, maybe because I never went to camp as a kid (I actually desperately wanted to for a long time and devoured book after book about summer camps....but I never got to go and it hasn't haunted me or anything). DH went to camp for a summer or two and said it was fun but not life altering. We've prioritized vacations over summer camp (we bought an RV a few years ago and have done very long summer trips since then). My 16 year old just did a one week music camp this summer for the first time--it was much more about helping him meet his goals with music (he's leaning toward a music major in college) than having the experience of being away from home, though. 

[Lecka]

I totally agree with FuzzyCat.

I can see from church too, I think there were some kids (grandkids) who went to church camp this summer where it was a huge, huge thing because they didn’t maybe have as much going on in their lives.

But I’m a stay-at-home mom already, is my daughter going to get as much out of it? Is the grand-daughter of another couple going to get as much out of it?  When both of their summers are just different summers?

They’re both good but it’s just not apples to apples.  But I am so glad my son with autism could attend Rotary Club camp, I think it was really special for him.  

Edited August 5, 2019 by Lecka

[Sherry in OH]

3 minutes ago, Lecka said:

I do really think too, if money is spent on camps, there can be very special family times that are day trips or day outings, or a weekend trip, that have making s’mores or whatever, and it will be the same difference to kids.  I don’t think it matters to kids if there is a multi-day trip or not, if the kids are doing well and having some nice times.

There will always be someone who has taken a fancier trip, that is just life. 

 

Staycations can be alot of fun.  

[Lecka]

Staycations can be a lot less stressful, too! 

[vonfirmath]

49 minutes ago, Lecka said:

This is not me but my husband — he has the opposite experience of Hoggirl — he was sent to live with his grandparents for 6 months when he was a young teen, and hated it. So his personal experiences are more “don’t send kids away.” My personal experience was — I went to church camp one week for several years, and loved it.

 

 

My husband has very fond memories of going to stay with his grandma for several weeks every summer (And this included flying to Washington D.C. on his own).  So I have tried to be more open to our kids going to spend parts of summers with grandparents as well. (though not ready to send the kids on the airplane alone yet)  I hope they do not feel we are trying to send them away. 

[Lecka]

My ILs are shady in multiple ways, I am sorry to say.  It’s much more than just this.  The same for my step-dad’s parents, I’m sorry to say.

Overall — a lot of instability,  for no apparent reason.  

Like — my husband also attended multiple, multiple schools and had multiple, multiple school-year moves for no apparent reason, for no reason of “it made sense” or “it couldn’t be helped.”  Reasons that seem (sadly) very shallow.

My husband also wasn’t sent just for a nice summer visit, he was sent to attend one semester of school in middle school, his step-grandfather was known to be a bad person and extreme racist, and my husband and SIL were supposed to have an allowance but the step-grandfather told them he was keeping their allowance money. 

So just a lot of troubling things!  

It’s not just a visit to grandparents — it might be summarized as that — but a lot more was going on and it was not stable. 

And the same for my step-dad being sent to live with people and not knowing where he would live. 

It’s just not stable things.

Anyway — I would not worry at all about your kids feeling sent away when visiting grandparents!  Don’t worry about it!!!!

But I have the situation I have because my husband was actually pawned off on relatives when he was a young person, and not in a good way.  

[Lecka]

From what I can tell — my ILs were on the verge of getting a divorce and having all the kids live with them was too stressful, so they just kept the littlest boy.  Also they were in credit card debt and were going to rent a smaller apartment to save money, and then get a larger apartment when the older two kids came back to live with them.

But it’s like it’s just one episode of them making choices that are very hard to understand.  Because they just do not seem to be the choices that a responsible parent would make.

Also my ILs in the last month did not observe my husband’s birthday even though I texted them

a reminder so they could call him on his birthday.... we are not on great terms right now after they chose to ignore that.  

But anyway — I am totally in favor of kids staying with grandparents, and I don’t at all think most kids would ever feel like they were pawned off.  

But my husband and step-dad would be people you would say — honestly they had a rough childhood in ways, not they had a nice childhood including visits to grandparents.

I visited grandparents and an aunt, and never ever felt sent away, because that was just not at all the situation. 

[Guest]

My DD has done some form of program the last few years. In her case, it is not a traditional camp, and she greatly benefits from them. I also think I benefit from having that space with just DH for a few days, and to have DD’s scheduling off my plate. I think it also helps because DD has much less social time with friends over the summer. 

In her case, she also now knows a lot of things that she does not like in a dorm layout. One reason why UAH is high on her list is that she really, really likes their dorms. 

[Lecka]

I think church camps are nicer too, when kids go as part of a group from church.  I think that is a good point about Boy Scout camps.  I think church camps may or may not be that way, just depending.

My daughter this year didn’t want to go to church camp because other girls weren’t going from our church, and she thought other girls at camps would be attending with kids from their home church.  I think she was right but also could have been fine if she wanted to go.  But fair enough that she didn’t want to.

Other girls from church didn’t really want to and their parents (grandparents) were worried they would go too young, have a bad experience, and never want to go back.  Fair enough 🙂. 

[vonfirmath]

12 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I want to point out that BSA camp is very different that say, GSUSA or church camp. BSA, with few exceptions, go as troops, and the SM or other leaders serve as camp counselors. It's a chance for the Scouts to bond. Other camps are usually random people who sign up for that session, and counselors are paid. As one of the directors at my "camp" (week-long history thing) only in BSA would adults spend good money to get better at their volunteer jobs! Camps vary SO widely--I've worked at bare-bones Y camps, and I've worked at fancy private camps where the kids were sent off to get them out of their parents' hair. It's a HARD job, to make a cabin coalesce out of disparate kids who don't know each other. I MUCH prefer the BSA method. 

 

This sounds very like how the church camps ran when I was growing up. We went with our church and adult volunteers/leaders from our church. Someone else ran the camp. But we stayed in groups that included our own leaders.

[SKL]

I guess I should note that I personally never went to sleep-away camp without my folks.  It was just not really a thing for people in my life and budget situation.  When I was 12, my family moved, and after that my younger siblings all went to week-long church camp.  It just wasn't available for me.

As far as I recall, my only comparable experience was the one week I spent at my granny's house.  She had a room in the attic with beds, and she let each of us stay there at different times.  In many ways it was similar to sleep-away camp.  I had to figure all my personal stuff out for myself.  I spent time with different people (relatives / friends I rarely saw) and adjusted to a different routine, menu, etc.  I was about 9yo IIRC, so personal needs were at a minimum.

I guess school trips like Washington DC would also fill that experience gap somewhat.  Unluckily for me, I missed going on that trip due to the timing of our family move.  😛  (It's OK, I've been there lots of times since then.  :P)

The other thing was that I was 3rd of 6 kids and the oldest girl, with a working mom, so (a) I was used to living with lots of other people, and (b) I had lots of life experience with taking care of myself and others.  😛  Old-fashioned chores, free to roam in summer, etc.  I don't think I missed much.  But having said that, if sleep-away camp is affordable and the child is ready, I would still recommend it.

[wathe]

Camp was important to me as a kid, and I plan on sending my kids.

I was packed off to a traditional, very well run,  all-girls summer camp for a month each summer, starting at age 12.  Out of province, 10 hours from home.   I didn't know anyone else who was going the first year.  It was brilliant!  No boys or men to tell us what we couldn't do. We literally learned to paddle (and portage) our own canoes.  I learned to sail well, canoe skillfully, swim (the camp offered certified instruction, up to lifeguarding certification courses), kayak and windsurf.  We went on back country canoe trips and learned all kinds of camp-craft and tripping skills.  Leadership and social development.  We made our own entertainment - wide games, plays, campfires.  It was a fabulous social environment for female adolescent development.  This was funded by my grandmother, who had been to a similar camp as a girl.  If I had girls, I would somehow find the money and send them the same camp without hesitation.  I'm not sure that an all-boys camp would have the same social development advantages for boys.

DS11 just went to camp for the first time this year - a semi-wilderness scout camp with his new troop (he just moved up from cubs in June).  He already knew most of the kids - some moved up from his cub pack last year, and some who are moving up with him.  I know the troop leaders well and trust them completely.  He had the time of his life.  I think we will continue with scouting and scout camps for him.

 

 

 

[wathe]

36 minutes ago, Margaret in CO said:

I want to point out that BSA camp is very different that say, GSUSA or church camp. BSA, with few exceptions, go as troops, and the SM or other leaders serve as camp counselors. It's a chance for the Scouts to bond. Other camps are usually random people who sign up for that session, and counselors are paid. As one of the directors at my "camp" (week-long history thing) only in BSA would adults spend good money to get better at their volunteer jobs! Camps vary SO widely--I've worked at bare-bones Y camps, and I've worked at fancy private camps where the kids were sent off to get them out of their parents' hair. It's a HARD job, to make a cabin coalesce out of disparate kids who don't know each other. I MUCH prefer the BSA method. 

The scout camp DS went to was similar, but in Canada is co-ed.  Boys and girls camp together on the same group site, in the care of troop leaders.   Activities are run by paid (barely paid, very little $) cousellors, mostly students who are also active in scouting.  I love this model:  The kids have access to fancy camp activities (sailing, archery, riflery, rappelling) at an affordable price, as the housing, feeding and childcare provided by the adult troop leaders.  It's also reassuring to know your kids are in the care of mature adults who you know (and trust), and who  know your kids.

Edited August 5, 2019 by wathe

[SereneHome]

I think (for the most part) it should be left up to the child, especially at that age. My mother, the social butterfly that she is, thought EVERYONE loves camps and all other social activities.  I hated them with a passion.  I mean REALLY hated them. Like REALLY REALLY hated them. I cried for her not to send me. She did it anyway bc "who doesn't like camp".  Well, I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!

Didn't add anything to my social or otherwise development. Now, 3 decades later, while I don't resent my mother anymore, I wouldn't do that to my kid.

Based on an anecdotal evidence from my own and my husband's and my oldest child's experiences, I don't think forced social interaction of any kind is every beneficial.

ETA: I feel the same way about kids going away to college, living on their own before marriage, etc etc

Edited August 5, 2019 by SereneHome

[catz]

18 minutes ago, SereneHome said:

I think (for the most part) it should be left up to the child, especially at that age. My mother, the social butterfly that she is, thought EVERYONE loves camps and all other social activities.  I hated them with a passion.  I mean REALLY hated them. Like REALLY REALLY hated them. I cried for her not to send me. She did it anyway bc "who doesn't like camp".  Well, I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!

Didn't add anything to my social or otherwise development. Now, 3 decades later, while I don't resent my mother anymore, I wouldn't do that to my kid.

Based on an anecdotal evidence from my own and my husband's and my oldest child's experiences, I don't think forced social interaction of any kind is every beneficial.

ETA: I feel the same way about kids going away to college, living on their own before marriage, etc etc

At the end of the day, know your kids.  Both my kids were a little nervous their first year but came home very excited about when they could go again.  My kids are often tentative about the new and unknown and aren't the most outgoing kids on the planet, but did benefit.  If you have a kid that has never done an overnighter anywhere else, maybe that would be a good thing to try before camp.  If a kid was a hard no on overnights, that would be a good indicator maybe they're not ready for sleep away camp.  

I didn't love dorm life in college, but I did think I gained a lot of independence and self advocacy skills not to mention the academics by having that experience.  Again, YMMV.   I also think there is a difference between being an introvert and having social anxiety.  I had social anxiety as a kid.  I am pretty balanced on the introvert/extrovert scale actually and that is really clear as an adult now that I've worked through that anxiety..  I would have enjoyed my childhood and early adulthood much more had someone recognized that I had social anxiety and helped me work on it. 

I wouldn't give up family vacation to make it work if those kind of finances are at play.  

[catz]

5 minutes ago, Danae said:

 

All of the day camps my kids have done have been 9-3 or 9-4. I think that would be hard on working parents. If we both had to work full time I'd enroll them in a child care program that had better hours.

In our metro, a lot of those camps will offer optional before and/or after care.   Day camps can be a good thing to try prior to sleep away camps too.  My kids loved day camps they did when they were younger.

[shawthorne44]

DD did day camp this year and she didn't like it.   Next year she wants to sleep-over.  I had offered her the option to sleep-over and she didn't want to.  The day campers were almost entirely kids getting daytime babysitting all summer, and not kids like DD who weren't quite ready for sleep-over.   There was social stratification with the sleep-over kids on top.   The all-summer day campers had already formed set friendships by the third week when DD went.  Also, while they allowed dropoff from 7:30am to 9am, and pickup from 4pm to 5:30pm, the kids did absolutely nothing except sit on the bench waiting.   So, while the sleep-over kids were having a pre-dinner swim, DD was nearby sitting alone on the bench.   Next year she will do sleep-over camp at the first week, and a friend of hers will go also. 
 

[SereneHome]

1 hour ago, FuzzyCatz said:

At the end of the day, know your kids.  Both my kids were a little nervous their first year but came home very excited about when they could go again.  My kids are often tentative about the new and unknown and aren't the most outgoing kids on the planet, but did benefit.  If you have a kid that has never done an overnighter anywhere else, maybe that would be a good thing to try before camp.  If a kid was a hard no on overnights, that would be a good indicator maybe they're not ready for sleep away camp.  

I didn't love dorm life in college, but I did think I gained a lot of independence and self advocacy skills not to mention the academics by having that experience.  Again, YMMV.   I also think there is a difference between being an introvert and having social anxiety.  I had social anxiety as a kid.  I am pretty balanced on the introvert/extrovert scale actually and that is really clear as an adult now that I've worked through that anxiety..  I would have enjoyed my childhood and early adulthood much more had someone recognized that I had social anxiety and helped me work on it. 

I wouldn't give up family vacation to make it work if those kind of finances are at play.  

Yes a million times to that!!!

[Terabith]

My oldest started begging to go to camp as soon as she found out they existed....maybe around age six or seven?  She went as soon as she was old enough, and she had a great time.  My youngest went and enjoyed it to varying degrees.  They went basically until they started their periods, at which point coordinating with swimming/ water sports just became too much of a hassle and they quit.  Sigh.  Puberty was so incredibly destructive to my kids, in so many ways.  (Neither have been able to figure out tampons, and I couldn't get anything internal to fit until after I gave birth, so I suspect there is a physical issue there.)

[kiwik]

It is a very US thing.  We used to read about kids going to camp 3 weeks in the summer and think their parents must have hated them.  We didn't realise your holidays are considerably longer than ours.  We have a week off then Christmas and New Year then about another 3 weeks.  I went on school camps though and hated them so I would say it totally depends on your child.