Tap Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 DD10 has extreme behavior issues. The absolute worst time of year for her is in the fall. The transition back to school, the weather and time change....it all collides into a hot mess of anguish, attitude and agony. Her birthday is in October and she hasn't had a friend birthday party for 5 years. She is usally in trouble at that time and has very few privileges until after Christmas. I can't just give in to a birthday party, because she will dissolve into a puddle of chaos and it worn't go over well. A party is really too much for her to handle at that time of year. She can't even handle one friend and play date type party at that time of year. She is raw emotion. She really, really wants a birthday party. She asks multiple times, every single year, and I always have to tell her 'no'. We do take her out for a family dinner and have family presents. It is just the friend party she is missing. She is about half stable right now. She is still struggling and having some major attitude issues, but really the best we are going to get. I am thinking about having a birthday party this summer for her. I don't want to just have a party....I want it to be a big classic Birthday party, with decorations, presents and games. How odd would you see that as a guest, to come to a party 2 months before the actual birthday? The majority of her friends would understand, but there are a few neighbors who are new that might be confused. I will push the idea that we are having it in the summer due to wanting a summer water party. The ones who are close to us will know the truth, but don't want to go into it with the new parents. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Don't tell the new parents that it's not really her birthday. If you think it's the best time to have the party, just do it and don't worry about what anyone else says or thinks. :) 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I think it will be wonderful! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arctic Bunny Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Lots of December/Christmas babies have half birthdays instead! Why not? No need to go into it with new neighbours! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertstrawberry5 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 luna's birthday is Dec 30. We celebrate January 30. do what you want. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renthead Mommy Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Lots of christmas babies have half birthdays. We had a lake house. My cousin was a Feb baby, his sister Aug. she always got to take friends to the lake. Finally my aunt realized he could have a halfish party and do the lake. Weather, temp and situations are all factors. She can have a 10/12ths party. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 You are a good mother. Have the party. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Have the party. Youngest use to have mini half birthday parties. Before kids I even gave Dh a birthday party almost 2 months in advance since that was the best time for it. - and I knew I wouldn't arrange him another big birthday party. So it was then or never. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalsummer Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Definitely do it. DD had a friend who had a party 4 months late - her birthday had been over Christmas break and they just kept putting it off when the new semester started. No one thought it was weird. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Unless you invite people to 2 parties a year, I can't imagine them caring in the least that you're having a birthday party at the "wrong" time. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jewellsmommy Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Not weird. Dd's friend, who has a June birthday, celebrated and had a party in mid October because she wanted her friends to do a certain activity that centers around October/halloween. There are lots of reasons people do this sort of thing. You don't even need an explanation. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bagel270 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Yes, have the water party. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I think it's a great idea, and you are a good mom for considering what will work best for her. One year two of my boys had a birthday party 5 months and 3 months after their birthday because that was when it worked best for us. No one cared or even brought it up. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Absolutely have the party! My girls birthdays occasionally fall in Mohters Day or Thanksgiving, plus the week before Christmas. When it's their year to heve a friend's party, we have it whenever it's convenient, which is almost never on or near theirnactual birthday. Happy Early Birthday to your DD! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 do it 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Go ahead and do it. I know people whose children have December birthdays where nobody wants one more thing to do or one more present and they have "six month birthday parties" in the summer. There's no reason your dd should be denied the chance to ever have a party because her birthday falls at a bad time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I think it's totally fine and sounds fun! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Slightly odd without knowing the backstory, but I think you should do it. I've known kids who celebrated their birthdays other times - like kids who have a birthday near Christmas, but I also knew a girl when I was a kid who had a summer birthday when she was always away from her friends and so she "moved" it to early fall for awhile so she could have a friend party. I mean, it's kids. Kids deserve to get a little fuss for their birthdays. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I don't have any issue with that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 It is rare for birthday parties to happen on the actual date anyway! If anyone asks when her actual birthday is you can just say, "fall is always so busy!" Totally true. As the asker I would just smile and agree and move on. No big deal. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samba Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I don't think it's odd at all, whether people understand her issues or not. I'd definitely do something in the summer instead. My Oct. child always wanted to have her party in the summer like her Aug. brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 have her birthday parties on her half birthday. if you want to do it in the summer this year - go for it. she needs to have the social time like her peers. My sil preferred to do swimming parties for her kids. three were born in warm months. one was born a week before Christmas . . . she had all her birthday parties in June. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Do it!!!!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Oh, but as someone with a special needs kid...down play it to her. You probably know that though. But if you hype it up much she's likely to end up too overwhelmed to enjoy it and will make things miserable. If she's like my kid, anyway. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in FL. Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I think it's a great idea! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 DS's birthday is in January. From now on, we will be celebrating in May. Everyone has been told and no one has batted an eye. Go for it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I know people who celebrate birthdays at different times for varying reasons. We rarely do DDs June 3rd birthday close to her birthday because late May earlyJune tends to be nuts. I think it's no big deal at all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Does she like Alice in Wonderland? Could you ask her to celebrate her "un birthday" in a time of year she feels better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I vote totally fine. My SIL did this for a different reason. (Her son's actually birthday is at a very inconvenient time of year and was getting shunted off again and again. So she did one a couple months before his birthday.) my first thought was, "Wait...it's not his birthday yet." But she gave me the quick rundown of why and then I was, "Oh. Cool!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SebastianCat Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 I think it's a great idea. No need to explain in detail to people who don't know her history. My 15 year old DS just got invited to a birthday party for two of his friends (twins) whose birthday is in early June, but they are throwing their own party at the end of July. Their actual birthday conflicted with church camp and family travel. My DS's response to the invitation: "Your birthday is in June, but you're having your party in July? Cool!" I think you'll probably get a similar response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 Sounds like a great plan! People do all kinds of birthday and anniversary things away from the date because it is more convenient/cheaper/requires a certain timeframe. For example, people might take a long-awaited trip to New England for fall colors for their 25th anniversary, the the anniversary is actually in the summer. No big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted July 8, 2017 Share Posted July 8, 2017 My ds has a Christmas birthday. On Christmas Day. That holiday week is a hard time to try to plan anything extra and to get friends together for a party. One year, we had his birthday party on Feb. 25 instead. It was great! Super fun, not a lot of activity conflicts, everyone was in town. I say go for it! No need to explain beyond it being the best time for your family to host a party. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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