how much money

[cflovinlife]

I get that. The coach is throwing the party any the parents are volunteering to bring things right? Why should you have to pay to? When a coach throws a pizza party for the team that is usually because they are proud of the team and want to show their appreciation. That shouldn't cost the parents anything

 

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[ChocolateReignRemix]

I get that. The coach is throwing the party any the parents are volunteering to bring things right? Why should you have to pay to? When a coach throws a pizza party for the team that is usually because they are proud of the team and want to show their appreciation. That shouldn't cost the parents anything

 

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Well...no.

 

In this case, it is a volunteer coach who is organizing the end of the year party, which is quite different than hosting a party.

 

I am honestly a bit stunned so many here think the coach should front the whole cost.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Well...no.

 

In this case, it is a volunteer coach who is organizing the end of the year party, which is quite different than hosting a party.

 

I am honestly a bit stunned so many here think the coach should front the whole cost.

 

I agree.  I don't understand why the coach is expected to pay for any of it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Plus, are the adults going to eat pizza?  Wonder if she is figuring on that too. 

[marbel]

I think there is only one person suggesting that the coach pay for the whole thing?  Maybe I missed something but I don't see a large number of people saying the coach should pay for it all.  Some (myself included) are suggesting that they coach may be asking each family to contribute too much. 

Edited May 26, 2017 by marbel

[mom2bee]

No gifts for the coaches. I guess she's not too far off. She asked for $15, so I have to pay $30 for drinks, pizzs and a prize for my kids. I feel I could do this for much less. 2 mediun pizzas at pizza hut is less thab 20 hereand it could feed my whole family for 2 days. So, essebtially I'm paying $30 for 2 pieces of pizza,2 juices boxes and 2 goody bags. I feel a bit ripped off even though I can afford it, we try to be saving when we can.

 

Personally, I'd opt out of this event and take my money and go do something else with my kids either for cheaper or where I get a better value.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I can see this.  $15 wouldn't feel like much, but $30 starts to feel like a lot for such a thing 

[meganrussell]

I may be the oddball out (and I actually usually am, haha), but I've never liked being expected to pay for a party or contribute to a coach gift.

 

Personally, a picnic would have been good. Each family bring food for your family, kids play, and all is fun.

 

If I feel compelled to give the coach a gift, I would do so on my own. I've helped coach before and never expected or even wanted a gift. I did it for my kids and for fun. Usually, the gifts are not even something I would want.

[Dmmetler]

I would probably do it for about $5/kid-but I also tend to undercharge and end up paying out of pocket because I don't want to ask parents for too much.

[TechWife]

I think that's too much. If the coach wants to make sure that the siblings and parents get food, the having a per person charge is a good way to handle it. Have them say how many people will be eating and figure two slices per person. You can get good deals on pizza - I really wouldn't expect it to cost more than $2-3 per person.

[Arcadia]

Plus, are the adults going to eat pizza? Wonder if she is figuring on that too.

An Easter egg hunt block party we attended year's ago was buffet style so not only were the accompanying adults eating, there was also no rationing of number of slices per person. So the person doing the pizza ordering has to estimate on the higher side, yet pizzas did run out before potato chips. The Easter egg hunt participants were mainly under 8 years old though there was no age restrictions for the event and party.

 

I do think it is easier for everyone to have a pizza party at a pizza place. No need to collect money, and no need to pre-order and collect the pizzas. No need to find or print coupons to reduce the cost. No need to estimate how many vegetarian pizzas are required too.

[Crimson Wife]

Personally, I'd opt out of this event and take my money and go do something else with my kids either for cheaper or where I get a better value.

 

Great team spirit you're modeling here. I expect my kids to participate in all team events unless we have a legitimate conflict.

 

[bolt.]

Great team spirit you're modeling here. I expect my kids to participate in all team events unless we have a legitimate conflict.

 

What does that even mean? How can "team spirit" *possibly* be expressed by parents instilling the expectation that a party is mandatory?

[TechWife]

Great team spirit you're modeling here. I expect my kids to participate in all team events unless we have a legitimate conflict.

 

 

I think unreasonable pricing is a legitimate conflict. Children (and adults) don't have to participate in everything in order to have team spirit. Establishing personal boundaries, especially where money is concerned, is a great skill to model. Sometimes it means skipping the fun stuff to be responsible. 

[Crimson Wife]

What does that even mean? How can "team spirit" *possibly* be expressed by parents instilling the expectation that a party is mandatory?

Being a good member of a team means participating in all team events with a good attitude absent a legitimate reason for missing the event. And that includes the team party as well as practices and games

 

 

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[AimeeM]

I get that. The coach is throwing the party any the parents are volunteering to bring things right? Why should you have to pay to? When a coach throws a pizza party for the team that is usually because they are proud of the team and want to show their appreciation. That shouldn't cost the parents anything

 

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You don't have to do anything. 

And the coach shouldn't be expected to foot the entire bill. I mean, are you serious? You're writing this like it's the norm -- that coaches throw parties, and pay out of pocket, because they appreciate the team they took the time to teach and coach.

[mom2bee]

...

Edited May 27, 2017 by mom2bee

[bolt.]

Being a good member of a team means participating in all team events with a good attitude absent a legitimate reason for missing the event. And that includes the team party as well as practices and games

 

 

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That sounds a lot more like a "perception of obligation" than like any reasonable definition of the term "team spirit". Semantics, I guess.

[Crimson Wife]

That sounds a lot more like a "perception of obligation" than like any reasonable definition of the term "team spirit". Semantics, I guess.

 

Don't do team sports if one is not willing to be a good team player. There are lots of individual sports that one can do instead.

 

It is important to teach children that when one makes a commitment to a team/group activity, that means participating in all of the events not just picking and choosing depending on what the individual feels like doing.

[Hyacinth]

Don't do team sports if one is not willing to be a good team player. There are lots of individual sports that one can do instead.

 

It is important to teach children that when one makes a commitment to a team/group activity, that means participating in all of the events not just picking and choosing depending on what the individual feels like doing.

I think of a "good team player" as one who encourages the other players, does his or her best, responds well to the coach's direction...that sort of thing. Of course, for a team sport, showing up to the practices and games is part of that.

 

I'd call partipating in an end-of-season party with (some might say) excessive fees outside the scope of what defines a "good team player." Especially when we're talking about a recreational activity for 4- and 5-year-olds.

[Carol in Cal.]

In general, as homeschoolers, we have said 'no' to groupthink.  We have said 'no' to typical education paradigms.  We have said 'no' to a lot of various social pressures.

 

But when we are in mixed activities and schools, we should say yes.  Because that is functionally appropriate.  We have to remember than when we make a fuss about every little thing, we end up hurting the experiences of our own children.  I wish I had learned this sooner, but I did learn it, and pass it on in the spirit of 'wishing someone had pointed this out to me a little earlier so I didn't have to figure it out myself' as well as the spirit of 'I'm really glad I took this approach when DD went to brick and mortar high school'.

[Seasider]

No gifts for the coaches. I guess she's not too far off. She asked for $15, so I have to pay $30 for drinks, pizzs and a prize for my kids. I feel I could do this for much less. 2 mediun pizzas at pizza hut is less thab 20 hereand it could feed my whole family for 2 days. So, essebtially I'm paying $30 for 2 pieces of pizza,2 juices boxes and 2 goody bags. I feel a bit ripped off even though I can afford it, we try to be saving when we can.

If that's not at some fun inside venue for an experience in addition to the pizza, I personally think that's too much.

 

But I'm old school YMCA soccer, I'm sure ymmv with more elite leagues/clubs.

[Seasider]

See that is it. The family could do something instead and I'd prefer this because our coach has been flat out rude to the parents all year. Also my boys havent even made friends this year, so I suspect they wouldnt even be playing with their team mates just each other so why bother?

Good grief, skip it. I wouldn't even seriously consider it.

[QueenCat]

I wouldnt mind her asking for money forpizza and drinks, but I think asking us to pay for a goody bag is a bit odd coming from the coach. Last year the coaches bought medals out of pocket and we all brought snacks.

 

Do the coaches get reimbursed by the league for the medals? Dh has coached, I've been team mom. We NEVER got reimbursed by the league. Most of the time we could afford it and just bought it, other times we needed to ask for contributions from the parents. As volunteers, we shouldn't be expected to bear the costs but often did anyways. Any parent that complained about it was offered the position for the next season. I don't mean that as a "dig" personally to you but just a reminder that the coach is a volunteer.

[Alice]

I would say $10-$15 because my expectation would be that each kid really means that the parents and non-team member siblings would be welcome to also eat at the party. 

 

We've hosted team parties here and generally given an idea of what people should pay per eating member (so about $5 per family member that is eating). We usually just put that suggested amount in an email ahead of time and have an envelope at the party so people can contribute what they think is reasonable for their family. That way if someone hates pizza and doesn't eat, they don't pay. Or if someone knows their 14 year old ate 7 slices of pizza they can put in a little more. We always have it be buffet style so everyone just helps themselves. 

 

It's always worked fine for us. We generally have had leftover pizza, people seem happy (or maybe they just don't tell us they aren't) and we never felt shorted as far as money. A few times I think we ended up with extra money, which wasn't our intention at all. 

 

 

 

[Bluegoat]

I'd expect to pay $5-10 for kids that age - the higher amount of parents/siblings will be there.  That is without goody bags which I would object to.

 

$15 is really high, IMO, given that there will be lots of other food.

[bolt.]

Don't do team sports if one is not willing to be a good team player. There are lots of individual sports that one can do instead.

 

It is important to teach children that when one makes a commitment to a team/group activity, that means participating in all of the events not just picking and choosing depending on what the individual feels like doing.

I think you mean to say "It's important to me..." since you are describing your personal values. You are certainly not describing anything remotely like a universal view of what makes a "good team player" or what is actually "important".

[Bambam]

I'd guess $5. We can get a Little Caesar's pizza for $5. I always have them double cut them - so 16 pieces vs. 8. Young kids seem to have a set number of pieces that they need to eat, and grab that without thinking how hungry they are - and often they will eat less in a group. So, with smaller pieces (which for some reason they don't notice), the pizza goes farther.

 

10 kids - 4 pizzas max = $20.

 

24 pack of water = $4-$5

 

Box of cookies from Sam's Club = $8

 

We're done at less than $40. 

 

So maybe $6-7 because they will need plates and napkins. 

 

No one cares about cheap goodie bags. Print a 5x7 of the group pciture for each boy ($0.50 max) and you are good.

 

 

[meganrussell]

 

 

No one cares about cheap goodie bags. Print a 5x7 of the group pciture for each boy ($0.50 max) and you are good.

This. I HATE goody bags. I like to buy inexpensive books or coloring books in leui of goody bags for birthday parties. Goody bags are a waste of money and usually get trashed quickly. The picture of the team is a GREAT idea.

[ebrindam]

I'd guess $10-15 per kid.

[ebrindam]

I wouldnt mind her asking for money forpizza and drinks, but I think asking us to pay for a goody bag is a bit odd coming from the coach. Last year the coaches bought medals out of pocket and we all brought snacks.

 

 

If this is a volunteer coach (or frankly even a paid one) I think it would be inappropriate and odd for the coach to have to pay for medals for the kids. Parents should be charged for these things before the coach has to pay!

[KungFuPanda]

I'd say 10. I've done $5 for pizza/drinks and I always come out of pocket. If she's doing pizza, drinks, and goody bags, she'd need $10 for food and maybe $15 to make sure she doesn't end supplementing. Maybe the goodie bags are nicer?

 

ETA: if your coach was a good one, and experienced, I'd trust her and just pay. That $15 doesn't represent the cheapest price YOU could pay to feed YOUR kids. That's probably the price that has to be charged to cover:

 

- Whatever is in these goodie bags (yeah, we're over them but 5-year-olds are not)

- The roughly 1/5 of the team that forgets to pay but doesn't forget to show up

- The expensive GF option for the two kids that need it

- the cheese-free pizza for the lactose intolerant kid that nobody else will touch

- the variety of drinks it takes to make everyone happy

- the siblings that participate invited or not (Do YOU wanna tell the 2-year-old "no?")

- The dads who help themselves because dads don't get food math

 

If she's done this more than once, she knows the REAL cost and has probably set the price accordingly. Coaches aren't really in it for the money. I'd just give her this one.

Edited May 29, 2017 by KungFuPanda

[FaithManor]

I don't have a dog in the fight except to say something about goody bags.

 

Not a fan. Neat always a goody bag is full of candy and crap. I am tired of the go to move for reward being sugar, preservatives, and total junk.

[SereneHome]

$15 per kid??

 

So, that's $150 in total

 

Let's say you get 4 large pizzas = $60  and another $10 for bottles of juice and water.  I can get a whole case of water in BJ for less than $5

 

You can get 12 medals for $4 from Oriental trading company and $1/piece two tablecloth from dollar store.  You can get pencils, stickers and bubbles for another $15-$20 for the entire team (from Oriental Trading company or Walmart)

 

So far we are up to to less than $100. 

 

I don't mind paying "extra" for such events, but that's a HUGE mark up. 

 

I would pay it if my kids REALLY wanted to go, but for no other reason. 

[heartlikealion]

I'm so frugal. I'd get a stack of Little Casear pizzas... which are $5 a piece if you get the cheese of pepperoni here. Ten little kids? That's like what, three pizzas if everyone eats two slices. Could order four to be safer but there is also other food. Why would I expect the parents to pay for goodie bags? That's like a favor bag, right? I would put those together myself out of pocket. Parents are bringing side dishes. So I'd pay out of pocket for um, napkins, cups and if applicable eating utensils? 16 ct of napkins from Dollar store for $1. Cups I think come in a 10 ct for $1. Utensils, $1 or $2 for enough. Seriously chunk change.

 

No, I wouldn't expect $15 per kid, $30 for both your boys. I could throw a whole party together for that amount probably. But like I said I'm frugal...

Ok so let's say I get a more expensive pizza. Maybe it's like $15 for one pizza. Still wouldn't charge each guest that much.

 

I seriously want to be a party planner LOL.

[heartlikealion]

I'd guess $5. We can get a Little Caesar's pizza for $5. I always have them double cut them - so 16 pieces vs. 8. Young kids seem to have a set number of pieces that they need to eat, and grab that without thinking how hungry they are - and often they will eat less in a group. So, with smaller pieces (which for some reason they don't notice), the pizza goes farther.

 

10 kids - 4 pizzas max = $20.

 

24 pack of water = $4-$5

 

Box of cookies from Sam's Club = $8

 

We're done at less than $40. 

 

So maybe $6-7 because they will need plates and napkins. 

 

No one cares about cheap goodie bags. Print a 5x7 of the group pciture for each boy ($0.50 max) and you are good.

 

LOL at ds' recent party dh bought a huge box of cookies from Sam's (M&M cookies) and there were 30 bags of cookies used as party favors and he said he paid $8-$9 for them. You basically summed up the way we shop.

 

OP said parents were bringing plates so I didn't count that in my math but I did take into consideration napkins and cups if applicable. You can actually go even cheaper and just get a stack of napkins from the pizza place if you need to.

[AndyJoy]

My sons have been on teams that had no party. Just a little gathering after the game to have juice and cake (and I think the coach paid for the cake) while the coach recognized each child and their contributions to the team. My dc, at least, weren't bothered by the lack of a party.

I coached 5-7-year-old-boys for three seasons and my end-of-season party was cupcakes, water to drink, and water to play in :). We used sponge balls or squirt guns, launched mini soccer balls with a water balloon slingshot, and played silly games. The parents much preferred this as it was during a regular practice slot so they didn't have to rearrange schedules, it cost them nothing, and was fun to watch. The boys thought it was the best thing ever. I always provided the after-game snack for the last game and included some trinket (soccer pencil, bracelet, bouncy ball), note, special food item in a goody bag for fun. I wouldn't ask the parents to pay for goody bags! Nice medals were provided by the league and rolled into the registration fees.

Edited May 29, 2017 by AndyJoy

[heartlikealion]

I coached 5-7-year-old-boys for three seasons and my end-of-season party was cupcakes, water to drink, and water to play in :). We used sponge balls or squirt guns, launched mini soccer balls with a water balloon slingshot, and played silly games. The parents much preferred this as it was during a regular practice slot so they didn't have to rearrange schedules, it cost them nothing, and was fun to watch. The boys thought it was the best thing ever. I always provided the after-game snack for the last game and included some trinket (soccer pencil, bracelet, bouncy ball), note, special food item in a goody bag for fun. I wouldn't ask the parents to pay for goody bags! Nice medals were provided by the league and rolled into the registration fees.

 

exactly

 

[QueenCat]

I'd say 10. I've done $5 for pizza/drinks and I always come out of pocket. If she's doing pizza, drinks, and goody bags, she'd need $10 for food and maybe $15 to make sure she doesn't end supplementing. Maybe the goodie bags are nicer?

 

ETA: if your coach was a good one, and experienced, I'd trust her and just pay. That $15 doesn't represent the cheapest price YOU could pay to feed YOUR kids. That's probably the price that has to be charged to cover:

 

- Whatever is in these goodie bags (yeah, we're over them but 5-year-olds are not)

- The roughly 1/5 of the team that forgets to pay but doesn't forget to show up

- The expensive GF option for the two kids that need it

- the cheese-free pizza for the lactose intolerant kid that nobody else will touch

- the variety of drinks it takes to make everyone happy

- the siblings that participate invited or not (Do YOU wanna tell the 2-year-old "no?")

- The dads who help themselves because dads don't get food math

 

If she's done this more than once, she knows the REAL cost and has probably set the price accordingly. Coaches aren't really in it for the money. I'd just give her this one.

 

Yes!!!! And if the coach get the stuff at fewer places, to reduce coach's errands/running around, all the better, even if it does cost a bit more. If any of the parents want to help reduce costs, they can volunteer to run some of those errands that will make it cheaper (like finding the cheapest drinks around, etc).

 

[trulycrabby]

See that is it. The family could do something instead and I'd prefer this because our coach has been flat out rude to the parents all year. Also my boys havent even made friends this year, so I suspect they wouldnt even be playing with their team mates just each other so why bother?

Oh, I would skip this one in a heartbeat!

[Cinder]

OP you must come back and reveal what was in those goody bags!   :bigear:

[winterbaby]

Being a good member of a team means participating in all team events with a good attitude absent a legitimate reason for missing the event. And that includes the team party as well as practices and games

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I had initially agreed with you on this because an attitude of just arbitrarily bailing on group events seems wrong.

 

But then it occurred to me that as one gets into the high school and college years, an ingrained attitude that a sports team (or other group) represents an absolute social obligation and that not participating in parties is some awful form of disloyalty could have some pretty hairy unintended consequences. Because some of those parties... oh boy.

 

The truth lies somewhere in between. I would not teach kids that they have no social obligations to teams or other groups, but I also wouldn't teach that there's never a valid reason to bow out.

[SKL]

I was thinking $10 per kid, but a little over or under would be fine.

[Momto4inSoCal]

We just went to a baseball team party for my 5yo twins team. It was $20 per person. I was a little annoyed. $40 (since I had two players) seemed really high. They got a book, that we already had. We now have three copies and unfortunately they wrote their names inside so I can't gift them to anyone. Oh well, they had fun. Personally I wouldn't have charged more than $10 but everything nowadays seems to be above and beyond what was the norm when I was a kid.

Edited May 31, 2017 by Momto4inSoCal

[Alessandra]

I've never had to pay a dime for an end of season celebration. Parents signed up to bring water, juice boxes, snacks. I can't remember ever having pizza or goody bags. Medals/trophies cost was included in the registration fee.

 

The only extra I remember is if professional photographs (of individual players) were offered.

 

Btw, I live in what is generally described as a comfortably off area.

 

So, I think $15 is high. I would also wonder what the coach does with extra money. Keep it, or buy more junk?

 

ETA

In general, I try to look at costs from the perspective of the most financially challenged parents, not the average. If cost causes just one family to skip the party, or hurts them financially, something is wrong. JMHO.

Edited May 31, 2017 by Alessandra

[QueenCat]

I've never had to pay a dime for an end of season clelbration. Parents signed up to bring water, juice boxes, snacks. I can't remember ever having pizza or goody bags. Medals/trophies cost was included in the registration fee.

 

The only extra I remember is if professional photographs (of individual players) were offered.

 

Btw, I live in what is generally described as a comfortably off area.

 

So, I think $15 is high. I would also wonder what the coach does with extra money. Keep it, or buy more junk?

 

ETA

In general, I try to look at costs from the perspective of the most financially challenged parents, not the average. If cost causes just one family to skip the party, or hurts them financially, something is wrong. JMHO.

 

As someone who has had a dh as a coach, and volunteered significantly myself, we always tried to keep costs for all players in mind.  If there was significant extra money, we returned it. I can only remember that happening once and it was due to an unexpected donation. If there was $20-30 left and 20 kids participating, we found a way to spend on the group rather than using up udos of our time to to break change and give each parent back a buck or two. If that offended anyone, it's on them, not us. If anyone EVER suggested we kept extra money for ourselves, they'd better be planning on coaching or being team mom the next season, with NO excuses as to why they can't (we're busy people too).

[gstharr]

I posted that I thought $10.00 okay, and that I would not feel ripped off if it were $15.00.  Heck, I wouldn't be bothered if it were $20-25, if the coach threw in a bounce house.

This comes to mind whenever, I hesitate to spend money (that I could otherwise afford) on something that I know the kid would love:

 

 

    I Can't believe this discussion is about chipping in $10.00 too much.  I won't mention gifts to coaches, and tutors.