Popular Post Anne in CA Posted May 10, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted May 10, 2017 She protested her Totally Draconian Dress Code because she feels it penalizes girls for being feminine and puts all responsibility for bad behavior of boys on the girls. She did the whole protest by herself and printed up and taped memes that summarize her feelings all over the school. One teacher (probably the best English teacher in the North State) supported her and taped up her flyers in his classroom. She spent an hour in the principal's office (missing her welding class) and was invited to do a presentation of her beliefs for the school board next month. While I think there are bigger issues in the world, I am concerned about the rise of patriarchy in modern culture and I know this is the part that affects her the most right now. I think she will have bigger issues with patriarchy in the future, but I am not sorry she is combating the little piece she can. I remember when I was first considering enrolling her and the school was so happy to have her lovely test scores. I wonder if they think it's worth it now... 97 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Standing ovation for Anne's daughter! WTG! 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 You go girl! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Yay! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Good for her! I'm just sorry she missed her welding class. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Go, Anne's daughter!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Good for her! I'm just sorry she missed her welding class. She loves welding, lol. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janeway Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I am curious about the dress code now. What is it? 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 I am a link dork, I will see if I can link to it tomorrow, but it will take me a long time, lol. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Nice job! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Good for her! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 That is awesome! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 She protested her Totally Draconian Dress Code because she feels it penalizes girls for being feminine and puts all responsibility for bad behavior of boys on the girls. She did the whole protest by herself and printed up and taped memes that summarize her feelings all over the school. One teacher (probably the best English teacher in the North State) supported her and taped up her flyers in his classroom. She spent an hour in the principal's office (missing her welding class) and was invited to do a presentation of her beliefs for the school board next month. While I think there are bigger issues in the world, I am concerned about the rise of patriarchy in modern culture and I know this is the part that affects her the most right now. I think she will have bigger issues with patriarchy in the future, but I am not sorry she is combating the little piece she can. I remember when I was first considering enrolling her and the school was so happy to have her lovely test scores. I wonder if they think it's worth it now... I love so much about this post! Of course, I hate that it was necessary, but what a fantastic young woman you have there! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Well, good for her! That took courage, and it sounds as though she went about her protest in an appropriate way that got her some adult support. I hope the time spent in the principal's office wasn't punitive. If she was invited to attend the school board meeting, I'm guessing it wasn't. Tackling the "smaller" problems in our lives builds confidence to address the larger issues later. Please let us know how the meeting goes. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Good for her! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caroline Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I love this! I loved when our girls did it a couple of years ago. Things changed here. Hoping they change there, too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Good for her!! :-) Love this! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksr5377 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: for Anne's daughter!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Well, good for her! That took courage, and it sounds as though she went about her protest in an appropriate way that got her some adult support. I hope the time spent in the principal's office wasn't punitive. If she was invited to attend the school board meeting, I'm guessing it wasn't. Tackling the "smaller" problems in our lives builds confidence to address the larger issues later. Please let us know how the meeting goes. The time was not punitive, fortunately her school is pretty intellectual and the principal and vice principal took time from their day to talk to her for that hour. She told them that the dress code is very different from other schools (they said they didn't make the dress code, the school board did) and she said it wasn't fair how it was often applied by teachers on different days, giving examples. Both of them agreed that if her examples happened the way she remembers them that they were not fair. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xuzi Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Good for her! You must be proud. :) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AppleGreen Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: Yeah! I love to see kids standing up for their beliefs. It sounds like she received a positive reception from the school (thus far). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 10, 2017 Author Share Posted May 10, 2017 Intriguingly enough the dress code for the school district (it is district wide) is not up on their website right now when I went to see if I could copy and paste it. Interesting... 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Awesome! Dress codes at homeschool groups have done lasting damage to my girls. None of us care what the actual dress code is, whether it's "Don't show up naked" or "Don't wear a tank top two days in a row. You can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week. On Wednesdays we wear pink. You can only wear jeans or track pants on Friday." (Mean Girls, LOL!) or even that the uniform is a blue feathered chicken suit. What is wrong is when it's phrased so that girls don't "distract" boys and also seems to be applied in such a way that only pretty girls with b00ks are a problem. Looking foreward to the updates here! 16 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trulycrabby Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I think her protest was respectful, well-organized, and well-researched. :hurray: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 The time was not punitive, fortunately her school is pretty intellectual and the principal and vice principal took time from their day to talk to her for that hour. She told them that the dress code is very different from other schools (they said they didn't make the dress code, the school board did) and she said it wasn't fair how it was often applied by teachers on different days, giving examples. Both of them agreed that if her examples happened the way she remembers them that they were not fair. Yay to the administration for handling the situation well, too. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: :hurray: 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I am still curious about the actual dress code. OP, can you tell us some of the current rules? 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I must be living under a rock because I have never seen the 'so boys aren't distracted line'. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 I am still curious about the actual dress code. OP, can you tell us some of the current rules? The main rules that she is protesting are the ones applied to cleavage which are only applied to "busty" girls. She feels that since boys can walk around without shirts at all it is wrong that on hot days some girls can't wear a tank top outside in the sun. The whole dress code is evidently more strict than any other school district in NorCal, but again, I can't find it online and we signed a copy of the parent handbook, but I have no clue where that is because we did extensive remodeling this winter. Not only is the dress code not online at this time, which it should be, but the copies of her protest arguments were taken down from classrooms last night after the school was closed. Only someone with a key could have done it. The janitor and the principal both claim they did not do so...but the flyers that teachers placed in their own classrooms are gone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aura Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Good grief. Girls with big boobs can't wear tank tops??? What in the world? How does the admin explain that to a busty girl? They "explain" it by saying that it is "immodest." Boys will see an immodestly dressed girl and "be distracted,' which is code for having lustful and improper thoughts, and that is all the fault of the girl who dares to have big boobs. On my Kindle, so no emojis, but you can insert your own angry/head-banging-against wall/makes-no-sense-to-me emojis. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I must be living under a rock because I have never seen the 'so boys aren't distracted line'. Is there room under your rock for me? I want to travel back in time to long before I ever heard of this, too. For the record, my oldest was eight. I was terrified that my TODDLER's dress would ride up above her knees in the nursery, so I made her wear tights, even on hot days. I'm way too much of a rule-follower, and I was still trying to fit in and be what I was taught that a "good" Christian homeschooler would do. But yes, every dress code we've been subject to mentioned not being a distraction to boys or causing them to stumble. To this day, the word "defraud" makes me physically ill. Good grief. Girls with big boobs can't wear tank tops??? What in the world? How does the admin explain that to a busty girl? It's so sad it's almost funny. But I gotta give them credit for simply saying "You're figure is too mature to wear that here" instead of making up some extra BS rule for everybody They "explain" it by saying that it is "immodest." Boys will see an immodestly dressed girl and "be distracted,' which is code for having lustful and improper thoughts, and that is all the fault of the girl who dares to have big boobs. On my Kindle, so no emojis, but you can insert your own angry/head-banging-against wall/makes-no-sense-to-me emojis. Yes, this. :rolleyes: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 The main rules that she is protesting are the ones applied to cleavage which are only applied to "busty" girls. She feels that since boys can walk around without shirts at all it is wrong that on hot days some girls can't wear a tank top outside in the sun. The whole dress code is evidently more strict than any other school district in NorCal, but again, I can't find it online and we signed a copy of the parent handbook, but I have no clue where that is because we did extensive remodeling this winter. Not only is the dress code not online at this time, which it should be, but the copies of her protest arguments were taken down from classrooms last night after the school was closed. Only someone with a key could have done it. The janitor and the principal both claim they did not do so...but the flyers that teachers placed in their own classrooms are gone. Ooooh now we have a mystery, too! Please keep the updates coming, and hug your DD for me! I hope she can prevent girls from feeling like mine were made to feel. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 (edited) I must be living under a rock because I have never seen the 'so boys aren't distracted line'.That was actually in our hand book in high school in the late 80s. ETA: public school Edited May 11, 2017 by Barb_ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
school17777 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 (edited) Boys can go shirtless? That wouldn't fly here - school or stores. You only see that really at a pool. Eta: Kudos to your dd for trying to change the dress code. Edited May 11, 2017 by school17777 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 The main rules that she is protesting are the ones applied to cleavage which are only applied to "busty" girls. She feels that since boys can walk around without shirts at all it is wrong that on hot days some girls can't wear a tank top outside in the sun. So the boys are allowed to be shirtless at school? And tank tops are allowed for girls, but no visible cleavage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Is there room under your rock for me? I want to travel back in time to long before I ever heard of this, too. For the record, my oldest was eight. I was terrified that my TODDLER's dress would ride up above her knees in the nursery, so I made her wear tights, even on hot days. I'm way too much of a rule-follower, and I was still trying to fit in and be what I was taught that a "good" Christian homeschooler would do. But yes, every dress code we've been subject to mentioned not being a distraction to boys or causing them to stumble. To this day, the word "defraud" makes me physically ill. It's so sad it's almost funny. But I gotta give them credit for simply saying "You're figure is too mature to wear that here" instead of making up some extra BS rule for everybody Yes, this. :rolleyes: I think of my religion/faith as being very conservative. modesty conversations rarely have to do with dress. Or distracting boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 (edited) No one gets to wear shirts without sleeves and a collar* to school at the school my son will be attending in the fall. Tank tops and boys without shirts were also not allowed at the public schools here in the 1990s. I'm not sure about now. I agree that if tanks are allowed, everyone should be able to wear them. But honestly I'm fine just requiring shirts and sleeves. For boys and girls of all sizes. *i think the only exception on the collar thing is that girls get to wear any dress or blouse that would be appropriate in a business office- they aren't limited to just collared shirts or shirtdresses. Which seems fine to me. Edited May 11, 2017 by LucyStoner 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 So the boys are allowed to be shirtless at school? And tank tops are allowed for girls, but no visible cleavage? No tank tops are supposedly allowed for girls, but only girls with visible cleavage are getting "dress coded". 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 No tank tops are supposedly allowed for girls, but only girls with visible cleavage are getting "dress coded". That's so wrong. Apply it consistently or don't have a dress code. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MercyA Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 (edited) No tank tops are supposedly allowed for girls, but only girls with visible cleavage are getting "dress coded". Ah, I see. Thanks for the clarification. That is ridiculous (not the tank top rule, but the inconsistency). Edited May 11, 2017 by MercyA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I have a "busty girl". Who has a "busty mom". What amuses me (in a not-actually-funny way) is that my kid would look ridiculous in the polos that are part of our (public) school uniform. Instead, she goes about her homeschool life in tank tops, usually with bra straps peeking out. Like her mom. :tongue_smilie: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Is think knowingly and purposely targeting busty girls would be ripe with sexual harrassment litigation. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aura Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Is think knowingly and purposely targeting busty girls would be ripe with sexual harrassment litigation. Not easy, I think. First, one has to prove that there is actual prejudice happening. It would require a lot of documenting, which generally doesn't happen. Most often it comes down to he-said-she-said. Second, IME, at least here in the deep, rural south, there's still a lot of systemic misogyny. Most people who are like that don't even realize they are and would be deeply offended if one suggested such a thing. They consider themselves "upholding godly standards." They really are blind. So...they are not "knowingly" targeting, in that, they really have deluded themselves into thinking they're doing the right thing. Also, you have a good chance of getting a judge that takes such a view, and then you're out of luck. Fighting this kind of attitude is hard. Even though (at least where I am) sexual harassment and misogyny like this is not uncommon, litigation is. All the more reason why what Anne's dd did is so commendable! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 The south is full of bikinis and tank tops and short shorts. While there are certainly people with these attitudes, you can walk down literally any street and see there's a lot more people that obviously think that's nuts. Also, it doesn't matter if they knowingly offend or are offended by having their stupid pointed out to them. If a guy pinches my ass because he genuinely thinks he should be allowed to and that I should feel flattered - his feelings and opinion don't matter. He was still wrong and I'm within rights to let him know to knock it off. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
umsami Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 You must be so proud! (How cool to attend a school that offers welding, too!) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I agree fighting the attitude is difficult and I have no issue with her dd's protest. im just saying there is a LOT of evidence literally walking around in the south that most people do not hold the views Aura suggests is so common as to be unavoidable. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
38carrots Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 The main rules that she is protesting are the ones applied to cleavage which are only applied to "busty" girls. She feels that since boys can walk around without shirts at all it is wrong that on hot days some girls can't wear a tank top outside in the sun. The whole dress code is evidently more strict than any other school district in NorCal, but again, I can't find it online and we signed a copy of the parent handbook, but I have no clue where that is because we did extensive remodeling this winter. Not only is the dress code not online at this time, which it should be, but the copies of her protest arguments were taken down from classrooms last night after the school was closed. Only someone with a key could have done it. The janitor and the principal both claim they did not do so...but the flyers that teachers placed in their own classrooms are gone. Wait, boys can walk around without shirts while in school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted May 11, 2017 Author Share Posted May 11, 2017 Wait, boys can walk around without shirts while in school? During school hours they often take off their shirts for PE and Agricultural classes that are outside in the hot sun. They don't do it inside the school itself, other than they gym, but girls who go around outside during school hours with only tank tops risk getting "dress coded" if they are busty. I am surprised that most schools don't offer welding???? I thought that was very standard. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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