Regular posters with second "anonymous" usernames

[IfIOnly]

Ananwife, you have enough going on, please don't about this thread. That's the last thing in the world you need to be thinking about right now. Hugs to you.

[Jean in Newcastle]

AnonWife - I would wait to see if the administrators of this board make a ruling on this issue.  One of the reasons this bothers us is because it is different from what we understood to be the stated and previously enforced rules.  The administrators of this board cannot hide behind usernames.  If someone outside has a problem with content, the forum administrators are the ones who have to answer.  I don't really know if there could be an issue from anonymous postings.  But then I didn't think that there would be a problem with kilt pictures of celebrities either.  And I know that SWB has mentioned this board being mentioned in divorce proceedings.  If the forum administrators said that anonymous postings were fine, then I would not be bothered by it.  But if they said no, then I would understand as well. 

[athomeontheprairie]

Well, as a representative of anon, I guess I should reply.

 

I had sincerely forgotten about the rules.  I saw others doing it a couple weeks back and when I had my own crisis moment, I thought of how others handled it. Board rules are not at the top of my mind right now, and it's been a while since I read them. 

 

I'd never heard of the Tibbie thing, but I've only been here maybe 2 or 3 years. 

 

So, why not use my real username?  I guess a couple reasons.

One, even though my particular situation isn't my fault, I still feel like it reflects badly on me.  Shame, reputation, etc. It's the same reason I'm not talking about this with my neighbors or my family: I am ashamed of it, and I don't want others to think badly of me, I will want to interact with later them without that stigma. 

Two, I don't want this to be my life, and it is easier to pretend it isn't happening to me if "I" don't admit to it. This is a way to put a small barrier between myself and my situation.  

 

I didn't mean to make anyone feel weird or irritated at this, frankly I didn't think about how others would respond/feel about it.  I put that I was a regular on my post...I'm not really sure why. I'll have to think about my motives on that. I can add my real user name I guess, or delete my post. I'll probably delete the post, given the choice.  I do appreciate the replies I did get, though.

 

 

I used an anon account a while ago. For all these reasons, and ones mentioned above. And to the bolded: yes.

[Spy Car]

Just so you all know, I have never done this and never will.  I prefer to just lay all of my gory details out there.  :laugh:

 

I've read 55102 posts that suggest otherwise :D

 

Bill

[swimmermom3]

Well, as a representative of anon, I guess I should reply.

 

I had sincerely forgotten about the rules.  I saw others doing it a couple weeks back and when I had my own crisis moment, I thought of how others handled it. Board rules are not at the top of my mind right now, and it's been a while since I read them. 

 

I'd never heard of the Tibbie thing, but I've only been here maybe 2 or 3 years. 

 

So, why not use my real username?  I guess a couple reasons.

One, even though my particular situation isn't my fault, I still feel like it reflects badly on me.  Shame, reputation, etc. It's the same reason I'm not talking about this with my neighbors or my family: I am ashamed of it, and I don't want others to think badly of me, I will want to interact with later them without that stigma. 

Two, I don't want this to be my life, and it is easier to pretend it isn't happening to me if "I" don't admit to it. This is a way to put a small barrier between myself and my situation.  

 

I didn't mean to make anyone feel weird or irritated at this, frankly I didn't think about how others would respond/feel about it.  I put that I was a regular on my post...I'm not really sure why. I'll have to think about my motives on that. I can add my real user name I guess, or delete my post. I'll probably delete the post, given the choice.  I do appreciate the replies I did get, though.

 

eta: after reading through other responses, I can see why this could cause a problem, and why others would be put off by it. Sorry for that.  

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:  As someone with family members who struggle with depression and bipolar, I can understand why you wouldn't want to post under your regular user name. Everything you've said here, makes sense. There are many of us here that have experienced some variation of what you have posted.

 

It's a very difficult road to walk with good IRL support and agonizingly lonely if you don't.  My thoughts and best wishes are with you.

 

 

[Rosie_0801]

So, why not use my real username?  I guess a couple reasons.

One, even though my particular situation isn't my fault, I still feel like it reflects badly on me.  Shame, reputation, etc. It's the same reason I'm not talking about this with my neighbors or my family: I am ashamed of it, and I don't want others to think badly of me, I will want to interact with later them without that stigma. 

 

Hon, most of us have lived too long to think this way about you, or anyone else.

 

But we'll see: http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/643253-family-experience-with-mental-illness-poll/

[Jean in Newcastle]

I am more bothered when Sue, who we all know lives in XYZ town with two daughters, a striped cat and her crazy MIL, has a serious, private marital issue and needs advice. I always think "yikes, this forum quickly shows up on a google search". Twice, I've googled an issue and been brought to a thread on this forum where I was discussing the issue. That bothers me. I constantly remind myself that this forum is absolutely in no way private.

 

You are brought to this forum when you google only because Google knows that you have a history with this forum.  Not to say that others can't find things on here by googling, but it is much less likely to be a top hit for a non-forum user. 

[umsami]

I wish they would trust us to respect, love, and support them under their regular name, but honestly, I'm happy that people who need help are reaching out regardless.  With the current post that comes to mind, I personally know how difficult it is to deal with a spouse with mental health issues.  I also know that as I am going through a divorce, posting stuff could cause problems in theory, so I don't. 

 

I do think that there should be limits, however, and yes, I'd prefer a friend post for them just for follow up (if needed) in terms of serous issues.

[SKL]

You are brought to this forum when you google only because Google knows that you have a history with this forum.  Not to say that others can't find things on here by googling, but it is much less likely to be a top hit for a non-forum user. 

 

Unless that non-forum user googles it from my computer.  Which could happen if it's my spouse, ex, boss, mentally ill kid, ....

 

[EmseB]

You are brought to this forum when you google only because Google knows that you have a history with this forum. Not to say that others can't find things on here by googling, but it is much less likely to be a top hit for a non-forum user.

I don't know that this is true. I got to this forum originally by googling something else. The only reason I remember that is because I was really happy a homeschooling forum even existed. But I had no history here at the time and I rarely go past the first page of results on google.

Edited April 18, 2017 by EmseB

[Julie Smith]

My Dh made an account here once. He posted once or twice. 

[Catwoman]

I just want to say that if there is a ruling on this from the forum administrators and it happens to be against this practice, please do not blame Catwoman for bringing this up.  I brought it up long before she did on another thread where silly me didn't even realize that the person was a long time poster.  It was confusing to me.  (In that case, I don't believe that the person made it clear in the original post but just had anon in their new user name.)

Thank you, Jean -- I really appreciate that! :)

[liber]

It doesn't bother me.

[Catwoman]

Well, as a representative of anon, I guess I should reply.

 

I had sincerely forgotten about the rules. I saw others doing it a couple weeks back and when I had my own crisis moment, I thought of how others handled it. Board rules are not at the top of my mind right now, and it's been a while since I read them.

 

I'd never heard of the Tibbie thing, but I've only been here maybe 2 or 3 years.

 

So, why not use my real username? I guess a couple reasons.

One, even though my particular situation isn't my fault, I still feel like it reflects badly on me. Shame, reputation, etc. It's the same reason I'm not talking about this with my neighbors or my family: I am ashamed of it, and I don't want others to think badly of me, I will want to interact with later them without that stigma.

Two, I don't want this to be my life, and it is easier to pretend it isn't happening to me if "I" don't admit to it. This is a way to put a small barrier between myself and my situation.

 

I didn't mean to make anyone feel weird or irritated at this, frankly I didn't think about how others would respond/feel about it. I put that I was a regular on my post...I'm not really sure why. I'll have to think about my motives on that. I can add my real user name I guess, or delete my post. I'll probably delete the post, given the choice. I do appreciate the replies I did get, though.

 

eta: after reading through other responses, I can see why this could cause a problem, and why others would be put off by it. Sorry for that.

I'm sorry if this thread made you feel uncomfortable -- it wasn't about you specifically, and I do understand your reasons for wanting to remain anonymous right now, but because I can think of two other recent threads that were also started by "anonymous regulars," I was curious about how others viewed the practice of people posting under a new username whenever they had something important to discuss. I can see the possibility of this becoming a regular occurrence and I think that it would detract from the overall community feeling of this forum. I was wondering if others agreed with me, or if I was in the minority and that most people didn't mind it.

 

But please don't apologize for starting your thread! You saw others doing the same thing, so it makes sense that you would think it was okay to do it, too. If the moderators have a problem with it, I'm sure they will let you know, so I hope you won't delete it if you think you're getting helpful replies.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Unless that non-forum user googles it from my computer.  Which could happen if it's my spouse, ex, boss, mentally ill kid, ....

 

 

True

I don't know that this is true. I got to this forum originally by googling something else. The only reason I remember that is because I was really happy a homeschooling forum even existed. But I had no history here at the time and I rarely go past the first page of results on google.

As I said, others can get here by googling.  It is not a private forum at all.  But posting here will make it more likely for this forum to come up because of how Google works. 

[J-rap]

On another forum I used to frequent users could ask to borrow an "anonymous" account and they had 24 hours to use it.

 

I am not sure how I feel about 2nd anonymous accounts because I wonder if we're being trolled, but I get wanting tobe anonymous if you're an active long-time user asking for help on an extremely sensitive subject.

I think this is a great idea!  An emergency, anonymous account that anyone can use.  It's true that although most people here are anonymous, they probably feel that over the years they've shared so many things, that they're no longer comfortable sharing something that is more personal or troublesome than what is typical for them.  I kind of get that, while at the same time don't like the idea of people being able to easily open two or three accounts depending on their situation.

[AnonWife]

I'm sorry if this thread made you feel uncomfortable -- it wasn't about you specifically, and I do understand your reasons for wanting to remain anonymous right now, but because I can think of two other recent threads that were also started by "anonymous regulars," I was curious about how others viewed the practice of people posting under a new username whenever they had something important to discuss. I can see the possibility of this becoming a regular occurrence and I think that it would detract from the overall community feeling of this forum. I was wondering if others agreed with me, or if I was in the minority and that most people didn't mind it.

 

But please don't apologize for starting your thread! You saw others doing the same thing, so it makes sense that you would think it was okay to do it, too. If the moderators have a problem with it, I'm sure they will let you know, so I hope you won't delete it if you think you're getting helpful replies.

 

Not uncomfortable at all, I don't feel singled or put on the spot whatsoever, your original post was ver gracious and obviously not trying to be condemning. 

 

And I can see how the trend could be seen as detracting from the overall community feel. If that happened, that would be regrettable.

 

Decisions by design are usually better than decisions by accident.  It's a valid topic and it's better to have a discussion on it instead of a trend/decision being just fallen into. 

[emzhengjiu]

As a moderator, I probably wouldn't know about a second account unless there's a problem or a post is reported.  As far as I know, the rules are still the same about accounts.

[Heatherwith4]

It doesn't bother me, but of course I'm not in charge. :p I'm willing to post on behalf of another person if anyone ever needs me to.

[maize]

It doesn't bother me when someone occasionally makes an anonymous post.

[gardenmom5]

I can only think of twice - though three incidents were mentioned.  both times - I recall previous posts by a board member alluding to what was posted about, so it didn't bother me per se, though I found it in conflict with my understanding of the board rules.

 

I too like the idea of having someone else post it so the person can be both anonymous - and - there is a way to make sure they're ok for follow-up if needed.  I vaguely recall a previous "ask tibbie" post.   I know there have been things I don't post/ask because it feels too "exposed".  so I do understand.

 

I've been grateful for the hive - the variety of experience and perspective I feel has been a real blessing in my life.  I would hope  I can be there and support others too.

 

eta: I too would always be willing to post on behalf of another.  as I think anyone wanting someone else to post for them would have to have a certain additional level of trust for that person too.

Edited April 19, 2017 by gardenmom5

[Guest]

I'm torn on this. Several years ago we regularly had trolls and some just weird seeking attention types.

 

There was funny: the person with 1000 DC who was building a house on a lake where each would have there own room. I think that was a DD of a poster who got some unsupervised computer time.

 

Then there was the person who said her 12yo DD got pregnant at co-op. That thread went on pretty far.

 

Then there was a time when one poster was banned when seemed to be on a vigilante bid to out trolls.

 

Most of the trolls I can think of were a decade ago. It seems like there are less now. But I do remember a time when I'd regularly come across a thread and wonder "is this person bored and posting here for kicks (attention or just to rile us up). So, if anonymous posting is permitted I could see problems starting again.

 

But I am sorry for the post that triggered this thread. It sounds so painful. And sometimes we need to read out.

I remember that one Summer of the Trolls. The one poster had such remarkable names for her Duggar-esque brood of children and, heck, even had her clever grandkids' names and birthdates in her siggy. It was kind of fun in a way.

 

We still get an ocassional wild ride; some perhaps are trolls, some may just be people with really crazy life circumstances and not a lot of outlets IRL. But, while I don't want the board to be overrun with trolls, I do wonder what the big deal is. So someone comes in and says a bunch of kooky stuff about how they will never touch a diaper with anything but a latex gloved hand - so? Yeah, it's fishy, but - so? If you really want to flush out a troll, don't feed their bat-poo nonsense. If they are goading and pot-stirring and name-calling, there is post reporting to manage that and if they do it often enough, they will go on a permanent vacation.

 

I guess I'm just wondering what would be so bad if a poster made a second account, called themselves a regular user, and then spun a total falsehood about how...I don't know, their paster is coming on to them and they are actually kind of attracted too. The post goes for four pages with interesting advice from a variety of viewpoints. Suppose they somehow are outed and it was a totally fraudulent situation. Well...so? As long as, God forbid, none of us agrees to make a quilt and send it to them IRL only to get burned, ;) what harm was really done here? For all I know, perhaps 80% of the situations I have given careful thought to, advised, offered my heartfelt condolences, and spent IRL brain power on is totally imaginary. Maybe Catwoman is a forty-year-old dude living in his grant aunt's basement and doesn't have a DH who had a liver transplant. But if we've all been snowed, what's the big deal about that, so long as nobody is suffering/harmed/endangered IRL?

[Jean in Newcastle]

The point is that the rules aren't made by us but by someone gracious enough to maintain and pay for all this.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Scarlett]

The part that bothers me is wondering who the heck this person is. I have a hard enough time remembering people's stories.

 

After an anon post I am constantly trying to match them up to someone I know from the boards.

[creekland]

Doesn't bother me at all - though I'll be the first to admit I have no idea how to create a second user name - gettin' old and all.  Some folks need/want/whatever to be extra private with certain "close to them" issues.  Being able to share and glean information is better than being bottled up unable to ask or vent.

 

It bothers me more when regular users change their user names - period - and I have no idea who they are anymore.  I think that might be a gettin' old on my part deal too.  Who knows?

[Audrey]

I have mixed feelings about it.  One the one hand, I understand the desire to be discrete with a sensitive issue, especially when it involves information about others.  On the other hand, I think the board rules about multiple accounts are a good rule and exceptions only weaken that. 

 

But, I'm not going to get all worked up about it either way.  People have reasons for wanting to be anonymous and I try to give the initial benefit of the doubt and respect.

[swimmermom3]

Doesn't bother me at all - though I'll be the first to admit I have no idea how to create a second user name - gettin' old and all.  Some folks need/want/whatever to be extra private with certain "close to them" issues.  Being able to share and glean information is better than being bottled up unable to ask or vent.

 

It bothers me more when regular users change their user names - period - and I have no idea who they are anymore.  I think that might be a gettin' old on my part deal too.  Who knows?

 

No kidding on the bold. I always have to send "Martha, Wendy, Rapunzel, is that you?" private messages.

 

If I know you primarily by your avatar, all bets are off.  "Where's the phone booth, I know she's here somewhere?"

 

I've thought about changing mine. I really should, but then none of you would know me unless maybe my new avatar was me in a swim cap, goggles, sticking my tongue out like Albert. However, I don't want anyone spitting their early morning coffee at their computer screens. :tongue_smilie:

[Catwoman]

As a moderator, I probably wouldn't know about a second account unless there's a problem or a post is reported. As far as I know, the rules are still the same about accounts.

Thank you! I was wondering how that worked. :)

[athomeontheprairie]

One more thought.

I posted anonymously in part because I don't want THAT attached to me. But mostly, I've guessed who two people are on here. I know them irl. Are my other hs friends on here? If i gave enough personal information, would they identify me? Not a problem. But some things i don't want anyone to connect to me.

[MistyMountain]

It does not bother me at all. Another site I was on had a special anonymous account. Those using it were never trolling it was just hard stuff they were dealing with that they wanted more privacy about.

[TravelingChris]

In the old boards, I changed my name a few times based on where I was living.  Then I finally decided to call myself TransientChris so I wouldn't have to change my name.  But that name doesn't apply anymore since dh has retired from the military and we have continued living here as we had hoped to retire to this area. (DH fell in love with this city from the time it was his first tdy ((military business trip)) ).  So I have thought about changing it but couldn't think what kind of Chris to call myself so I haven't.  And I had enough trouble loading a photo in the first place and I do love fuschias so I will keep my avatar too,

 

 

I, too, would be happy to post a sensitive post for anyone.  

[Miss Peregrine]

I've posted way TMI stuff where I maybe should have made an anonymous account, but haven't done it.  :lol:

[OneStepAtATime]

Maybe a private chat group could be created that is not searchable from Google ( put the privacy settings at their highest level) and if someone needs to post private stuff and ask some questions they could do it there and post a link on the Chat board that gets taken down after a day or two if they get enough responses to help them.  The group would remain in existence but the link would only be posted on a need to need basis.

[Scarlett]

No kidding on the bold. I always have to send "Martha, Wendy, Rapunzel, is that you?" private messages.

 

If I know you primarily by your avatar, all bets are off. "Where's the phone booth, I know she's here somewhere?"

 

I've thought about changing mine. I really should, but then none of you would know me unless maybe my new avatar was me in a swim cap, goggles, sticking my tongue out like Albert. However, I don't want anyone spitting their early morning coffee at their computer screens. :tongue_smilie:

I changed my avatar and not one single person seemed to notice. But every one seems to still know who I am. Shrug.

[OneStepAtATime]

I changed my avatar and not one single person seemed to notice. But every one seems to still know who I am. Shrug.

Oh I think people noticed.  I certainly did.  It took a bit to start associating your user name with the new Avatar.  I think though that your user name was distinctive enough that it still stood out, even without the other Avatar.  I just think people didn't comment.  I didn't see a need, anyway.  I did wonder but I figured, hey, its Scarlet's Avatar so if she wants to change it, so be it.   :)

Edited April 19, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Tap]

I changed my avatar and not one single person seemed to notice. But every one seems to still know who I am. Shrug.

LOL Trust me, us visual types noticed the first time we read a post after the change. LOL

 

 

To me, names and Avatars are like Logos. They all go together into one visual blob in my mind.  Change either part and I notice right away....because it looks wrong to me.  Then I adapt and it becomes the new norm, but it takes me a solid month of seeing the new combo to identify it right away without reading the name and thinking about it.

[Twigs]

I changed my avatar and not one single person seemed to notice. But every one seems to still know who I am. Shrug.

I noticed - when we had to remove celebrity photos!

[Tap]

I have put a lot of very personal things on this board.  A couple things have came back to bite me in the butt too.  One time, somebody read a 3 line response to a post and had thier mind turn it into wayyyy more than it was IRL. It really hurt them, but when they finally decided to mention it to me, I was able to at least explain the post.  I am not sure if they felt better about it after the fact, but at least they knew the whole story.

 

When ever I write something quite personal, I try to wait a bit before I post it, to  make sure I want it out there.  Posting anonymous or deleting posts doesn't really get rid of the post, it just makes it harder to find. Due to that, I make sure what ever I post, I am willing to own up to.

 

I often represent the 'everything isn't roses' poster.  I am wiling to say things that aren't pretty about my life and kids. I am willing to represent the underdog who gets kicked around a bit by life.  Because, it is my life and my family.  Yep, at some point in time, my posts here could be used against me.  But as long as I am honest and try to be true to myself and my family, I am willing to accept those consequences. The one advantage to living a life where you get kicked around a lot....is that I am not afraid to post the truth about my life. If anyone here feels the need to kick me, chastise me, mock me... go for it.  I don't need to protect the illusion of a perfect life.

 

ETA: sorry part of my post was lost in editing.

 

I understand that people may want to post anonymously to try to protect their identity, but I wish they wouldn't.  I think it is important for people to be able to be real people online, and taking out the uncomfortable stuff isn't real life. Not that everyone needs to post the uncomfortable stuff, but don't do it on the sly. There is a board rule about anonymous posting and there is also one about asking for marital advice.  Unfortunately, people often break both rules in one attempt to get support. SWB has asked that this not be the forum for that, and I think it needs to be honored.

Edited April 19, 2017 by Tap

[gardenmom5]

I changed my avatar and not one single person seemed to notice. But every one seems to still know who I am. Shrug.

 

I'm another one who noticed.   I've noticed other's that have changed over the years - that doens't mean they get mentioned.

[Liz CA]

I would have to check the most recent anonymous post but I thought it is just a username change and the post count remains the same and therefore we can (somewhat) verify that it is not a new troll?

 

If I am wrong in this assumption then the board rules must have changed because I seem tor remember that duplicate accounts were a no-no?

 

I do agree with Quill and Seasider that for many this community is the one life line they have. I would rather err on the side of replying to a troll than not replying (assuming I even have a remotely helpful suggestion) to a poster who really could use some help.

 

ETA: Just checked. The post counter starts over - it's not just a name change. Never mind.

Edited April 19, 2017 by Liz CA

[Liz CA]

I changed my avatar and not one single person seemed to notice. But every one seems to still know who I am. Shrug.

 

I tend to remember the actual name more than the avatar. I always know your name. :)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would have to check the most recent anonymous post but I thought it is just a username change and the post count remains the same and therefore we can (somewhat) verify that it is not a new troll?

 

If I am wrong in this assumption then the board rules must have changed because I seem tor remember that duplicate accounts were a no-no?

 

I do agree with Quill and Seasider that for many this community is the one life line they have. I would rather err on the side of replying to a troll than not replying (assuming I even have a remotely helpful suggestion) to a poster who really could use some help.

 

ETA: Just checked. The post counter starts over - it's not just a name change. Never mind.

If you change your name the usual way in your settings then the post count remains. (Which is why I could never change my name and be even a little bit anonymous. ). But these posters are starting totally new accounts with new names.

[Liz CA]

This is an off topic question - but I am curious and a quick answer will suffice.

 

When people are going through divorce / custody issues, etc. how would the opposing counsel think of subpoenaing posts from this forum? Is this only an issue when the ex specifically says "My wife / husband posts on xyz forum. Please collect all posts?" OR do people track IP addresses to see where their exes are hanging out in cyberspace?

Edited April 19, 2017 by Liz CA

[mathnerd]

It does not bother me - but, I have a good "troll radar" from being on several internet forums for decades - I always read interesting posts, check the poster's name and then watch for fireworks if the person is new and the topic is provocative. If the post is sincere and does not create controversy, I respond, otherwise I skip the posts. 

 

As for many here who have posted that they might ask for their personal information in their post to be deleted after getting the responses that they need while posting under their real avatars, I wanted to clarify that there is no privacy on the internet even with deleted sensitive posts. There are snapshots of webpages created automatically and saved on internet servers that you can access from a search engine. For e.g. if Daisy from Sunshine City, Iowa who homeschools 2 boys but sends her daughter to private school (status on her signature), has marital issues with her doctor husband and asks the forum for separation advise and people tell her to withdraw $$$ from the family checking account for her future security, find a safe place, call an attorney, plan to leave her husband etc etc and she asks for the original post to be deleted, it is still accessible from google. All that an interested party needs to do is google the person's forum name and "welltraindmind forums" (even search keywords like "Sunshine City Iowa divorce Daisy" will work). Instead of clicking on the hyperlink of the threads that show up, just click on the green arrow that is seen near the actual URL - a cached version of the webpage of the thread that shows the original undeleted post will pop up. In the internet, there are google caches, Wayback machine ( http://archive.org/web/web.php ) etc. So, only post that which will not come back to haunt you... 

(totally made up people, so, I hope there is no such family in Iowa)

Edited April 19, 2017 by mathnerd

[Rosie_0801]

This is an off topic question - but I am curious and a quick answer will suffice.

 

When people are going through divorce / custody issues, etc. how would the opposing counsel think of subpoenaing posts from this forum? Is this only an issue when the ex specifically says "My wife / husband posts on xyz forum. Please collect all posts?" OR do people track IP addresses to see where their exes are hanging out in cyberspace?

 

There's no need to subpoena. One's former spouse will know who you are and will search, copy and paste.

[Liz CA]

There's no need to subpoena. One's former spouse will know who you are and will search, copy and paste.

 

Thank you and geeez. The saying "All is fair in love and war" comes to mind - not that I agree with it.

[Liz CA]

It does not bother me - but, I have a good "troll radar" from being on several internet forums for decades - I always read interesting posts, check the poster's name and then watch for fireworks if the person is new and the topic is provocative. If the post is sincere and does not create controversy, I respond, otherwise I skip the posts. 

 

As for many here who have posted that they might ask for their personal information in their post to be deleted after getting the responses that they need while posting under their real avatars, I wanted to clarify that there is no privacy on the internet even with deleted sensitive posts. There are snapshots of webpages created automatically and saved on internet servers that you can access from a search engine. For e.g. if Daisy from Sunshine City, Iowa who homeschools 2 boys but sends her daughter to private school (status on her signature) has marital issues with her doctor husband and asks the forum for separation advise and people tell her to withdraw $$$ from the family checking account for her future security, find a safe place, call an attorney, plan to leave her husband etc etc and she asks for the original post to be deleted, it is still accessible from google. All that an interested party needs to do is google the person's forum name and "welltraindmind forums" (even search keywords like "Sunshine City Iowa divorce Daisy" will work). Instead of clicking on the hyperlink of the threads that show up, just click on the green arrow that is seen near the actual URL - a cached version of the webpage of the thread that shows the original undeleted post will pop up. In the internet, there are google caches, Wayback machine ( http://archive.org/web/web.php ) etc. So, only post that which will not come back to haunt you... 

(totally made up people, so, I hope there is no such family in Iowa)

 

Scary but true. I will stick to recipes and the weather from now on. :lol:

 

[Jean in Newcastle]

It does not bother me - but, I have a good "troll radar" from being on several internet forums for decades - I always read interesting posts, check the poster's name and then watch for fireworks if the person is new and the topic is provocative. If the post is sincere and does not create controversy, I respond, otherwise I skip the posts. 

 

As for many here who have posted that they might ask for their personal information in their post to be deleted after getting the responses that they need while posting under their real avatars, I wanted to clarify that there is no privacy on the internet even with deleted sensitive posts. There are snapshots of webpages created automatically and saved on internet servers that you can access from a search engine. For e.g. if Daisy from Sunshine City, Iowa who homeschools 2 boys but sends her daughter to private school (status on her signature), has marital issues with her doctor husband and asks the forum for separation advise and people tell her to withdraw $$$ from the family checking account for her future security, find a safe place, call an attorney, plan to leave her husband etc etc and she asks for the original post to be deleted, it is still accessible from google. All that an interested party needs to do is google the person's forum name and "welltraindmind forums" (even search keywords like "Sunshine City Iowa divorce Daisy" will work). Instead of clicking on the hyperlink of the threads that show up, just click on the green arrow that is seen near the actual URL - a cached version of the webpage of the thread that shows the original undeleted post will pop up. In the internet, there are google caches, Wayback machine ( http://archive.org/web/web.php ) etc. So, only post that which will not come back to haunt you... 

(totally made up people, so, I hope there is no such family in Iowa)

 

I have gotten some flack from suggesting counseling or other professional help before on sensitive matters  but this is why.  There is no lawyer /client confidentiality with this group.  Or doctor / patient confidentiality.  I know that people feel comfortable here.  But really you get what you "pay" for and while there are experts in different fields on this forum, most of us are not experts and even the experts are not experts on you because they obviously don't know all the details.  Of course that is different when someone is just seeking hugs instead of advice but while anonymous accounts might protect  your forum reputation,  it won't necessarily stop someone who has access to your internet history from knowing what you've posted.  (I am not a computer expert either so there may be ways to hide things but all I know are suspect "facts" that I've seen on tv shows where criminals try to hide their tracks and the police figure it all out anyway.)

 

[gardenmom5]

It does not bother me - but, I have a good "troll radar" from being on several internet forums for decades - I always read interesting posts, check the poster's name and then watch for fireworks if the person is new and the topic is provocative. If the post is sincere and does not create controversy, I respond, otherwise I skip the posts. 

 

As for many here who have posted that they might ask for their personal information in their post to be deleted after getting the responses that they need while posting under their real avatars, I wanted to clarify that there is no privacy on the internet even with deleted sensitive posts. There are snapshots of webpages created automatically and saved on internet servers that you can access from a search engine. For e.g. if Daisy from Sunshine City, Iowa who homeschools 2 boys but sends her daughter to private school (status on her signature), has marital issues with her doctor husband and asks the forum for separation advise and people tell her to withdraw $$$ from the family checking account for her future security, find a safe place, call an attorney, plan to leave her husband etc etc and she asks for the original post to be deleted, it is still accessible from google. All that an interested party needs to do is google the person's forum name and "welltraindmind forums" (even search keywords like "Sunshine City Iowa divorce Daisy" will work). Instead of clicking on the hyperlink of the threads that show up, just click on the green arrow that is seen near the actual URL - a cached version of the webpage of the thread that shows the original undeleted post will pop up. In the internet, there are google caches, Wayback machine ( http://archive.org/web/web.php ) etc. So, only post that which will not come back to haunt you... 

(totally made up people, so, I hope there is no such family in Iowa)

 

the poster doesn't have to be new.  i remember one long-time forum member who would act this way.

 

I originally treated the questions as sincere, even if disagreeing - but the fireworks (seemingly) always eventually started.  I eventually came to believe they weren't really interested in an answer, so I stopped replying. 

[TravelingChris]

Scarlett, I noticed but didn't comment.  

 

As to trolls, there are a few posters in the past or present who seem to have a different story all the time, not necessarily drama but just inconsistencies. There are also people who are argumentative and sometimes I will respond once or twice, not really for the argumentative person necessarily, but with info that could be helpful to someone else.