Promposals

[marbel]

Have any of your kids experienced this?  It seems to me to be a newish phenomenon but maybe it's just because I'm just now hearing about my kid's proms.. For those who don't know, it's an invitation to the prom that is made publicly and inventively.  Like, the prom equivalent to a marriage proposal at a football game with the words up on the jumbo-tron. 

 

My daughter has heard about it a lot from her schooled friends.  She says they have all hated it.  It sounds horrid to me.  One mom I know, who thinks it's all very cute and sweet, likened it to a practice marriage proposal.  Yikes!   Why is there so much pressure on kids in this way?  

 

I never went to a prom but when I was in high school (so very long ago) a prom invitation was a private matter.  What do you think?  Cute and sweet, or way too much pressure?  

[bettyandbob]

Really dumb. Over hyped.

 

It's hard enough being a teen. I wish they wouldn't mount extra pressure on these events.

[JustEm]

It sounds dumb but I also think huge public marriage proposals are dumb as well.

[TrulySusan]

Insane! This is very popular in my area and has been for several years. As if it's not stressful and expensive enough to ask someone to prom, now in addition you have to do it in an over the top way. Here, it is done even among long term couples who will obviouslly be attending prom together.

 

Just as an alternative POV, my teen dd can't wait to be asked next year and thinks the whole thing is great.

 

If DS has to do this, he may never make it to prom! Luckily, it hasn't reached the homeschool set so far.

[TrulySusan]

Oh, and this is absolutely fueled by moms like your friend.

[Pink and Green Mom]

I think they are really dumb and I blame Pinterest for this phenomenon.  Attention young ladies:  real life is not like Pinterest.

[JudoMom]

I dislike them.

Warning: broad generalization ahead....

Teens are often treated like children in important ways, and then pressured to play adult in silly ways.

It's a bad trend.

Edited April 15, 2017 by JudoMom

[DawnM]

Eh, it can be cute, my friend's son did one for his girlfriend.  Yes, he knew she would go with him anyway, but he wanted to do something special.

 

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/boyfriend-runs-55-miles-spell-prom-proposal-girlfriend/story?id=46104461

 

I grew up with this kid's dad.

[zoobie]

A little Pinterest can be a dangerous thing.

[Library Momma]

Here some kids do it that way and some kids don't.  It's not a matter of being public as much as it is being creative.  I only know of a few that were actually public displays,the rest were all fairly private.

[Kassia]

I think they are dumb.  My ds' ex did one for him.  It was cute and sweet, but I'm not into that kind of stuff at all.

[Seasider]

Oh, and this is absolutely fueled by moms like your friend.

Yes, A lot of these could not be pulled off without significant parental assistance. That's even true for some wedding proposals I've seen lately. One more thing to blame on social media.

[teachermom2834]

I blame social media. You need to have the promposal so you can have a great Instagram pic or video. The first I saw it was way back on the MTV show Laguna Beach that followed a group of rich kids in high school. They did it on there and I thought it was crazy. All these years later and promposals have made it to my neck of the woods very very far from Laguna Beach :)

 

I dislike it. So much social pressure. So much superficial social media posting. One more "look at me and my fabulous life".

 

That said, both my boys have been involved in promposals. Both homeschooled but dated girls at the local Catholic school. For first ds it was a long term girlfriend and she told him he had to do it (it was HER prom afterall). I think he worked with her mom to fill her car with balloons and when she came outside he was sitting on top of it with a sign that said "prom?". Totally not this kid's kind of thing and did it just so the gf could have her promposal.

 

Next ds just had a promposal last weekend. He has been dating the girl about six months and they have their prom plans so they obviously were already planning on it. It wasn't public. Ds loves the show The Office and they watch it together. She put a calculator that said "prom" inside a bowl of jello (fans of the show will understand) and had a Dwight Shrute themed posterboard to go with it. It was cute and funny. But it was just a joke for the two of them. Not a public display.

 

I heard a story from about 7 or 8 years ago and a boy at the same school had arranged for the school secretary to call a girl to the office where he was waiting with flowers to ask her to prom. She said, "um. no. I have a boyfriend." ACK!!

 

So it has been going around here for several years.

[marbel]

I dislike them.

 

Warning: broad generalization ahead....

 

Teens are often treated like children in important ways, and the pressured to play adult in silly ways.

 

It's a bad trend.

 

I think that is a good point.   Particularly when I hear it described as a practice marriage proposal.

[OneStepAtATime]

I think it actually could be really cute and well received depending on the circumstances but I think it would be something to do for a couple that actually are already dating and only IF they BOTH like that sort of thing and IF it doesn't break the bank and IF it was their idea, not a parent interfering.  I would NOT encourage it for someone asking another person out if they don't know for certain they will accept (how mortifying would that be for both sides if they didn't?) or one or the other is an introvert or the money spent causes financial difficulties, etc.

 

ETA: Something private might work well even if one or the other was an introvert (as long as it isn't plastered on social media afterwards).

Edited April 15, 2017 by OneStepAtATime

[Guest]

This is how promposals ought to be:

 

*Ring-ring*

 

Hello?

 

Hi. Suzy? This is... um... this is Bob. I sit three seats behind you in biology class.

 

Oh. Hi, Bob.

 

I was wondering... um... uh... I was wondering... that is, of you're not already going with someone else... ifyou'dliketogotothepromwithme?

 

Ummmmm.... yeah, okay. Sure.

 

(Long, awkward silence)

 

Okay, well, I guess I'll see you in biology class tomorrow.

 

Yeah. Okay. Bye.

 

Bye.

 

Click

[Seasider]

I'm thinking there must be some correlation between promposals and destination weddings.

[heartlikealion]

I don't think they are always super public to start, but I have seen some on TV that were filmed, hence, became public. I remember this when I used to watch the TV show Laguna Beach lol.

 

I think they are over the top and unnecessary. I went to prom with a friend (platonic). He refused to dance. :glare:

[The Girls' Mom]

It is over hyped, but yes my dd was the recipient of one.  Thankfully, hers was not public, and it was from her boyfriend.  He knows she loves puzzles, so he set up an elaborate scavenger hunt at his house that involved 42 hand folded paper cranes.  She loved that part, and enjoyed that he was so thoughtful about it.  However, she thought the whole prom-posal thing is overblown.  She would not have liked some big public display.

[bettyandbob]

About 10 years ago a boy at a nearby Catholic high school went sky diving with a sign that said Megan, prom?

 

Megan responded with "I'll think about it". So the boy found the other Megan in his class and asked her. She said yes. I never heard what the first Megan ended up thinking.

[bettyandbob]

This is how promposals ought to be:

 

*Ring-ring*

 

Hello?

 

Hi. Suzy? This is... um... this is Bob. I sit three seats behind you in biology class.

 

Oh. Hi, Bob.

 

I was wondering... um... uh... I was wondering... that is, of you're not already going with someone else... ifyou'dliketogotothepromwithme?

 

Ummmmm.... yeah, okay. Sure.

 

(Long, awkward silence)

 

Okay, well, I guess I'll see you in biology class tomorrow.

 

Yeah. Okay. Bye.

 

Bye.

 

Click

Yup. This is what it should be. Just asking is hard enough. Planning an elaborate scheme is too much pressure and puts pressure on the person being asked.

[teachermom2834]

In my world, it seems the kids already have plans to go to prom and then it gets made "official " with the promposal.

So even when a couple isn't dating it seems there is a more low key verification that the answer will be yes before the event.

 

My autocorrect doesn't like promposal. How long before the word makes it in the dictionary I wonder?

[DesertBlossom]

When I was in high school (20 years ago, gasp) most everyone did something cute to ask their date. And not just prom, but we had a few dances throughout the year. It was never public though. Usually something punny or cute dropped off on a doorstep. I remember going on a scavenger hunt of some sort to figure out who was asking me to prom.

 

I would have hated a big public thing, but we always had fun thinking of creative ways to ask and answer.

[Guest]

I think it is all about social media. You can't instagram or FB a phone call. My neighbor is like this. I saw her walking with her kids yesterday and told DH "that walk will be on FB in less than 5 minutes". It was.

 

I wonder if we'll see the pendulum swing the other way at some point with large groups of young people refusing social media?

[FaithManor]

I am not a fan of the pressure and expense of the prom to begin with and wish schools had never started the practice. So promposals are definitely something I think are overdone.

 

Around here people act like the prom is the single greatest thing that will ever happen to their kid. Truly weird!

[Amira]

When I was in high school (20 years ago, gasp) most everyone did something cute to ask their date. And not just prom, but we had a few dances throughout the year. It was never public though. Usually something punny or cute dropped off on a doorstep. I remember going on a scavenger hunt of some sort to figure out who was asking me to prom.

 

I would have hated a big public thing, but we always had fun thinking of creative ways to ask and answer.

Same here, but no one I've known from other parts of the country did it. I also remember helping my sisters pull off some ideas and my mom broke her foot when she was trying to get away before the door was answered. It was just light-hearted fun and no one publicized it or made it a big deal in the 80s and 90s.

[Rebel Yell]

Homecoming (HOCO) at a neighboring school district is a Very Big Deal. SweetChild was asked by a guy friend from her youth group with a funny posterboard sign when she picked him up to get donuts on the way to drop BabyBaby off at the gym. Nothing over-the-top, only her sister in the car and his sister peeking from the window- you can see her in the photo. She said "Yes" and they became an Official Couple at the dance.

 

Prom at this school distict is an Even Bigger Deal. I have seen some huge elaborate Promposals, several where they guy has his friends each write a letter of "PROM?" on their chest, a lot of posterboard signs, usually with puns or related to the girls' interests. Saw a sweet "Prom?" sign onstage after the final musical (different school) when everybody was already taking pictures of everyone anyway. SweetChild is still dating HOCO Boy, and they had been talking about Prom plans for a few months now, trying to coordinate a diverse bunch of friends from several schools. Sometime after she bought her dress, and he had helped friends Prompose, he asked her if he really needed to do something big. She said 'not if he didn't want to.' They knew they were going to Prom together, and the Instagram photo "proof" is not a big deal to either of them. But I'm sure there will be many beautiful photos from the event itself.

 

Sooooo dress is bought, tux is ordered, flowers are ordered, prom guest form and photo ID turned in, tickets bought. This Prom will be held at the beautiful event/club room at our city's NFL team stadium.

 

Oh, my opinion of them? Neutral. Can be sweet, can be overdone, can be embarrassing if turned down very publicly. I thought the HOCO sign was perfect (she still has it in her room.) I really dislike when girls demand elaborate displays. I do think it is sweet and thoughtful of the guys who do make the Promposal special, but I don't think less of guys who just aren't into that sort of thing or don't have the skills or means to carry it out.

 

That also mirrors my opinion of Prom... Some girls spend WAY over $1,000 on everything. SweetChild will be well under $300, would have been under $100 but she is very difficult to fit and we could not find a secondhand gown for $12 like we did for Diamond ;) Her gown was on sale, last year's style, so half off original price. Just a tip if anyone's still shopping.

[NotSoObvious]

Lol. This is SUCH a Utah/Mormon thing to do. It's pretty standard in Utah. I live in the south now and recently saw one of these proposals make the news, like it was a novel idea. I'm pretty sure my Utah nieces and nephews haven't been to a dance without being asked like this.

[marbel]

I think it is all about social media. You can't instagram or FB a phone call. My neighbor is like this. I saw her walking with her kids yesterday and told DH "that walk will be on FB in less than 5 minutes". It was.

 

I wonder if we'll see the pendulum swing the other way at some point with large groups of young people refusing social media?

 

In my kids' circles, that is already happening.  

[Seasider]

I am not a fan of the pressure and expense of the prom to begin with and wish schools had never started the practice. So promposals are definitely something I think are overdone.

 

Around here people act like the prom is the single greatest thing that will ever happen to their kid. Truly weird!

I'm not sure it's the schools' fault. A dance is a dance. It's the students (and complicit parents) that ratchet things up to ridiculous. Limousines? Predance dinners at pricey restaurants? Attire that costs hundreds of dollars? After parties? Hotel rooms?

 

Some of these things are good, but they are way out of scale. Not sure how things can be scaled back, though, aside from canceling proms altogether.

[Valley Girl]

Not a fan of all the hooplah and expense surrounding a high school prom to begin with, so obviously my opinion stems from there. I think the whole "promposal" trend is part of the look-at-me culture we're in. As others have said, social media helps fuel that. It's really quite sad. DS said a guy at his school made a promposal recently and was turned down. As if kids don't have enough with which to contend without giving people something else to use to make fun of them. I'm actually glad DS has no interest in going.

 

Just an aside: If you or your kids value prom, more power to you. Clearly, it's not on my list of Important Things. But I hope your kid(s) have a great time.

[Guest]

This is how promposals ought to be:

 

*Ring-ring*

 

Hello?

 

Hi. Suzy? This is... um... this is Bob. I sit three seats behind you in biology class.

 

Oh. Hi, Bob.

 

I was wondering... um... uh... I was wondering... that is, of you're not already going with someone else... ifyou'dliketogotothepromwithme?

 

Ummmmm.... yeah, okay. Sure.

 

(Long, awkward silence)

 

Okay, well, I guess I'll see you in biology class tomorrow.

 

Yeah. Okay. Bye.

 

Bye.

 

Click

The Harry-Potter-Asks-Cho-Change-To-Yule-Ball method! Yes! Minus the screeching owls who obscure the nervous request.

[J-rap]

It bugs me how they keep having to turn everything up a notch.  Everything.  And often it's the parents who are behind it.  Ugh.  In and of itself there's nothing wrong with it of course, but as everything slowly turns this way, it just seems like priorities get a little confused.

 

I do see some rebelling against it though in recent years.  

[Seasider]

I'm contemplating the thought that elaborate promposals, including parental involvement, make it harder to say no.

 

I'm thinking back to a young woman I know who ended up breaking her engagement two days prior to the wedding, and yet another scheduled to tie the knot later this spring. In the second case, especially, there was a big proposal planned/assisted by both moms and posted on social media within minutes. If that sweet girl had really wanted to say no, or even hey let's wait a year, she'd have come off as a heartbreaker. So yeah, I worry about the pressure this puts on young girls (and guys maybe) to be nice instead of be honest.

[marbel]

I'm contemplating the thought that elaborate promposals, including parental involvement, make it harder to say no.

 

I'm thinking back to a young woman I know who ended up breaking her engagement two days prior to the wedding, and yet another scheduled to tie the knot later this spring. In the second case, especially, there was a big proposal planned/assisted by both moms and posted on social media within minutes. If that sweet girl had really wanted to say no, or even hey let's wait a year, she'd have come off as a heartbreaker. So yeah, I worry about the pressure this puts on young girls (and guys maybe) to be nice instead of be honest.

 

Without getting into detail, because... you never know who's reading... 

 

We know a girl who is dreading her senior prom because of promposal, the pressure to say yes to the first person who asked, and the social media response to photos of the promposal.  

 

Funny, I had been sad about my daughter missing out on prom because she's homeschooled and we've never had a group or a coop.  But she's going to a homeschool prom with a friend in a coop.  No promposal; the invitation was probably extended by text.  No pressure at all and no social media involvement.  (I never went to prom and that was not a problem for me, but I knew my daughter would enjoy it, so I'm  happy she gets to go, and without any drama.)

[Anne in CA]

The boy my dd went to prom with her freshman year did an elaborate proposal. He left a rose and a large cared with a letter at her desk at each of her classes. P on the first period class and so on and he was holding the last card. They had never dated, but had PE together (small school). She said yes and they had a lovely time and dated for several months afterward. 

[DesertBlossom]

Lol. This is SUCH a Utah/Mormon thing to do. It's pretty standard in Utah. I live in the south now and recently saw one of these proposals make the news, like it was a novel idea. I'm pretty sure my Utah nieces and nephews haven't been to a dance without being asked like this.

 

I was wondering that. I'm not in Utah but there are a lot of Mormons here.

 

I've seen a few IG posts here documenting a creative way that someone was asked to a dance. It doesn't seem like the asking itself was public, but they took a picture of the cute poster (or whatever it was) that was used and posted it on IG. I don't see anything wrong with that.  

[happypamama]

Not really my thing. And I really, really can't see my high school boyfriend doing it. He barely tolerated the prom at all, although we had a good time at all of them (we went to four). A promposal is totally not his thing. When he proposed for real, there was no way it was going to be a surprise, but he picked a pretty, surprise location, just the two of us, and reservations for afterward at a nice restaurant. That's his style. And he has zero use for social media.

 

Promposals seem like an awful lot of pressure on the kids. Pressure on the one asking to make a big show. Pressure on the one being asked to say yes because it would embarrass the asker if the recipient said no. Teens don't need that. If they aren't already a couple, it seems like a big risk in case the person says no. If they are already a couple, then a big display seems a little silly, although I think the small gestures are sweet. Like the question in jello, or bringing a rose or something personal and sweet without being over the top.

 

ETA: I agree with the poster who says that it's a lot of pressure to be nice and not honest. I think it adds to the culture of "I spent all this money/effort on you so you owe me something." No, thanks.

Edited April 15, 2017 by happypamama

[kewb]

I can not even begin to explain how much a detest the promposal.  So beyond ridiculous.  Now you get this over the top promposal and then when you get engaged it has to be an over the top proposal.  And now you may be disappointed because your promposal was better then your engagement.

 

I think it is way too much pressure.

[marbel]

Related to all this:  people who tell kids that the high school years "are the best years of your life."  In other words, it's all downhill from here, kids!  And then what about those of us who had horrible high school experiences?   I'm sure glad high school wasn't the high point of my life.

[FaithManor]

I'm contemplating the thought that elaborate promposals, including parental involvement, make it harder to say no.

 

I'm thinking back to a young woman I know who ended up breaking her engagement two days prior to the wedding, and yet another scheduled to tie the knot later this spring. In the second case, especially, there was a big proposal planned/assisted by both moms and posted on social media within minutes. If that sweet girl had really wanted to say no, or even hey let's wait a year, she'd have come off as a heartbreaker. So yeah, I worry about the pressure this puts on young girls (and guys maybe) to be nice instead of be honest.

I agree with this. It really is too much pressure, almost like coercion. The other person is under intense societal pressure to say yes under these circumstances. It may not end well. I would have thought a LOT less of any of the young men Dd dated if they had pulled the big, overdone, public stunt.

 

I had some friend in college who was dating a guy whom she felt was falling a lot faster for her than she was for him, and he was not good at taking hints. She told me she had decided that on their next date she was going to break up with him gently. Oops. That night she exited the dorm to leave for a night class, and he had spelled out marry me in votive candles on the fountain square (kind of the center park like setting with a fountain between all the main dorms) and had about fifty guys waiting there for the answer. She did not want to embarrass him, and the whole thing got awkward. He kept pressuring her for an answer so she fun at said yes so he could save face, but then asked if they could meet privately later. Then she not only broke off the engagement but also the relationship. Ouch! He was not only hurt, but very angry and well, she ended up getting the check out of there.

 

People ASSUME too much when they plot such things, and do not seem to understand the negativity they will feel if things do not go as expected. Then there is the public embarrassment aspect to add to it. Not good.

 

These things should be kept a lot more low key. This kind of pressure is bad on a twenty two year old; there is no way it is good for a sixteen/seventeen/eighteen year old.

 

And yes, life is not pinterest. Get over it American public.

[desiree77]

I know some homeschooled teens who did the promposal thing, and now I've heard the guy is planning an actual marriage proposal. They are 17.

[Guest]

I think it is all about social media. You can't instagram or FB a phone call. My neighbor is like this. I saw her walking with her kids yesterday and told DH "that walk will be on FB in less than 5 minutes". It was.

 

I wonder if we'll see the pendulum swing the other way at some point with large groups of young people refusing social media?

I think it's happening now. Or at least as far as media where you're known by your real name. Kids learn faster than adults sometimes......that's why theyre on Reddit and tumblr and soup and probably a zillion other sites an old person like me has never heard of. :)

[DesertBlossom]

I agree with this. It really is too much pressure, almost like coercion. The other person is under intense societal pressure to say yes under these circumstances. It may not end well. I would have thought a LOT less of any of the young men Dd dated if they had pulled the big, overdone, public stunt.

 

I had some friend in college who was dating a guy whom she felt was falling a lot faster for her than she was for him, and he was not good at taking hints. She told me she had decided that on their next date she was going to break up with him gently. Oops. That night she exited the dorm to leave for a night class, and he had spelled out marry me in votive candles on the fountain square (kind of the center park like setting with a fountain between all the main dorms) and had about fifty guys waiting there for the answer. She did not want to embarrass him, and the whole thing got awkward. He kept pressuring her for an answer so she fun at said yes so he could save face, but then asked if they could meet privately later. Then she not only broke off the engagement but also the relationship. Ouch! He was not only hurt, but very angry and well, she ended up getting the check out of there.

 

 

I would wonder if in a situation like that if there was some intentional manipulation because you can't say no in public. Maybe he wasn't good at taking hints, or maybe he was a creeper and knew exactly what he was doing.

 

I just can't imagine popping the question without having previously discussed marriage (a least a little) with that person.

[Guest]

I can not even begin to explain how much a detest the promposal. So beyond ridiculous. Now you get this over the top promposal and then when you get engaged it has to be an over the top proposal. And now you may be disappointed because your promposal was better then your engagement.

 

I think it is way too much pressure.

Agreed. And disappointed your marriage wasn't day after day of Pinterest fantasy.

 

I'm not a fan of big weddings or proposals in general either though. If people worried half as much about what it takes to stay married as they do planning a wedding and outdoing the Joneses, there would be many happier marriages. And less consumer debt!

[redsquirrel]

It might be a regional thing. I had to convince my son, who has a prom this year, that this is a real thing. He thought it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard of. Certainly no one in his circle is participating in such a thing.

 

Of course, he and a friend are going together because they think it will be a hoot to dress up and go.  They are trying to spend as little money as possible, lol.

[redsquirrel]

I agree with this. It really is too much pressure, almost like coercion. The other person is under intense societal pressure to say yes under these circumstances. It may not end well. I would have thought a LOT less of any of the young men Dd dated if they had pulled the big, overdone, public stunt.

 

I had some friend in college who was dating a guy whom she felt was falling a lot faster for her than she was for him, and he was not good at taking hints. She told me she had decided that on their next date she was going to break up with him gently. Oops. That night she exited the dorm to leave for a night class, and he had spelled out marry me in votive candles on the fountain square (kind of the center park like setting with a fountain between all the main dorms) and had about fifty guys waiting there for the answer. She did not want to embarrass him, and the whole thing got awkward. He kept pressuring her for an answer so she fun at said yes so he could save face, but then asked if they could meet privately later. Then she not only broke off the engagement but also the relationship. Ouch! He was not only hurt, but very angry and well, she ended up getting the check out of there.

 

People ASSUME too much when they plot such things, and do not seem to understand the negativity they will feel if things do not go as expected. Then there is the public embarrassment aspect to add to it. Not good.

 

These things should be kept a lot more low key. This kind of pressure is bad on a twenty two year old; there is no way it is good for a sixteen/seventeen/eighteen year old.

 

And yes, life is not pinterest. Get over it American public.

 

good for her for sticking to her original plan! 

 

And OMG people, it's just a high school dance. Save the over the top planning and all the money for things that actually matter.

 

[FaithManor]

I would wonder if in a situation like that if there was some intentional manipulation because you can't say no in public. Maybe he wasn't good at taking hints, or maybe he was a creeper and knew exactly what he was doing.

 

I just can't imagine popping the question without having previously discussed marriage (a least a little) with that person.

You would be surprised how many friends this happened to, and I need to admit here that I turned down two proposals before Dh and I dated. The first was a boy my senior year in high school. I maintained that I would not ever marry so young, and I guess he thought I would change my mind in that fateful moment. He proposed privately so his embarrassment was not public.

 

The second one had only dated me for a month. We had never talked about marriage. Shoot, we had hardly talked about anything except classes, tough professors, roommate angst, and bad dining commons food! His parents - who had serious money - were having their 25th anniversary party at a swanky country club so he asked me to be his plus one. Ding dong proposed out of the blue when he was making the toast for his parents!!! I wanted to crawl under a table and disappear. Oh to have been able to apparate on the spot!!! Where is Harry Potter when you need him?

 

I refused to say yes though so he could save face. I felt it was very dishonest, and would only get confusing when those guests expected a wedding invitation to be forth coming. Better to set the record straight on the spot so I politely stated that while the sentiment was very sweet and I appreciated the effort, it was too soon, and I had to decline his kind offer.

 

I then bolted to the front desk, asked to use the phone, called a friend on campus who had a car and begged her to come get me, then asked the manager if I could sit in his office undisturbed until she got there. He was very kind, having heard the whole thing and hid me out. The next day I broke it off completely over coffee and a cheese Danish at the campus coffee shop. I was not certain how he would react after being so embarrassed the night before so wanted to begin a crowded, public place.

 

As Dh says to our sons, "Don't ask that question if you are not 100% sure of the answer!"

Edited April 15, 2017 by FaithManor

[Guest]

Related to all this: people who tell kids that the high school years "are the best years of your life." In other words, it's all downhill from here, kids! And then what about those of us who had horrible high school experiences? I'm sure glad high school wasn't the high point of my life.

And, to spin off your spin off, grown adults treating high school athletes like gods. I moved out of my hometown in part because it was disgusting to see grown men live through a group of 16 year olds.

[linders]

Oh, heavens, promposals. Not a thing when I was in school, but we also used slide rulers then.

 

Last year, DS16 was utterly stressed about this - it was already a given who he was taking (his group of friends - just friends - kind of divvies up couples for prom), but oh, the anxiety of planning just the right creative but not gushy event! He waited until a week before prom to do his, and then it was with the support of a bunch of girls in his "gang" and DH and I, who made some chocolate covered strawberries for him to use.

 

This year he decided he just wouldn't go. Lo and behold, a girl new to the school this year asked him! I knew her from subbing - very smart, studious, a star forward on the varsity soccer team (along with DS). She made a cute sign - "It would be a kick (cue soccer ball image) to go to prom with you." I adore her. Now DS's only stress is whether to get a navy blue bow-tie (to match her dress) or stick with black  :tongue_smilie: