Is this just socially unacceptable?

[Philothea]

I have a five son year old who is a kind, responsible, loving brother to his siblings.

 

People are always getting nervous, and angry over him holding the baby.

 

I had to put a stroller away in the van (I store it there) So I had my son hold the baby for about 20 seconds in the parking lot one day, and we were going to go into the house. I was also talking to some neighbors, who I do not know at the same time-- they seemed like my son should not have been holding the baby.

 

But yesterday, we actually got a rude comment. I had the older two sit on a little stone divider wall I waited until they were situated and I let ds hold the baby for a picture with the mountains and foliage in the background. And this woman was commenting about the baby and my son holding him in a very nasty way. Luckily, I did not hear it, my husband did.

 

I think my 5 year old is strong and coordinated enough to hold the baby and he does so all of the time at home. Of course I am supervising. But I am beginning to notice that people get offended by this, like I am doing something immoral.

[Chris in VA]

Maybe it's generational. I know a lot of grandmas who feel that way.

Personally, I'd have a 5 yr old sit down to hold a baby--but you know what, this is really your business, no one else's. Oh, and it would depend on the age and weight of the baby, of course.

[gandpsmommy]

Hmm. I'm not sure how to answer this because I have conflicting feelings about this issue. We tend to be very conservative about safety issues. So, we would never have allowed a 5yo to hold our baby while standing up or while sitting on concrete. And we still insist that our caring, mature, responsible 7yo dd sit down to hold her baby cousin. Even though children may have the best of intentions, accidents can easily happen and it could not only physically injure the baby, but also could leave the older child with an enormous sense of guilt. My dh's brother was dropped on his head on concrete by a young teenage cousin when he was a toddler, and this event really affected dh's views of this issue.

 

But, on the other hand, I feel that you as the parent would be the best judge as to whether your 5yo is capable of safely holding your baby in these situations. And I feel that it is rude of strangers to interject unsolicited opinions.

[Jen500]

I think it's your own business.

For my own family, I didn't let my 5 yr olds hold the baby unless sitting down. Even though they were physically capable and responsible, I didn't want to put them in the posiition where they might accidentally drop the baby and feel responsible (because I know they would have felt very bad). That's just our family-I'd never judge another family much less SAY anything.

[motherofjoy]

It's amazing the way people feel the need to comment on! My oldest was a big strong 5 year old too, and perfectly capable of holding a baby. If your mommy sense thinks its okay, then it is. Politely ignore the dissenters, unless they make an issue of it, then go mama bear on them.

[Amie]

I think that if you are comfortable with it, you should do it. But also know that you will, unfortunately, get the looks and comments. Some people (especially older ones) are just paranoid about it anyway--even if your son were older and seemingly more capable. I remember being a VERY capable pre-teen (and early teen) holding my siblings and some of the old ladies getting worried and frantically asking if I was holding the neck properly, etc. This really annoyed me at the time, but it just goes with the territory I guess. Maybe people aren't as accustomed these days to seeing families that are larger or more spread out where siblings help one another. Looking back, I guess I was the rare child/teenager helping with a younger sibling--you just don't see that every day. So maybe if people don't see a baby with a parent or other adult it looks strange to them. :confused:

I wouldn't worry about it though.

[Parrothead]

And this woman was commenting about the baby and my son holding him in a very nasty way.

That was just rude.

[Mandamom]

that problem too with my now dd8. She was 6 when my ds2 was born and she has always been very strong and coordinated. At 3.5 she carried a large 18 pound cat food bag from a cash register to the car -- the cashiers were stunned. By 5 she could carry about 40 pounds. Her natural coordination and strength have led her to team gymnastics where she continually builds strength and coordination.

 

After my ds was born, when he was about 6 weeks (and less than 10 pounds) old I started letting dd then 6 hold him when I was in a public restroom and she was in the stall with me. It slowly progressed from there. She still carries him around, if he'll let her :), and he's almost 40 pounds.

 

At younger ages, I required that she hold him while standing still, so holding him while i was loading the car even on concrete wouldn't have phased me but I know I got looks. Inside my house, she would get him up from his nap and bring him to me until he started walking. DD

 

So, I can definitely relate. BTW, my now dd6 doesn't have the strength or coordination and there's no way I would let her hold the baby other than while sitting even now that she's 6.5 years old.

 

Janice

[Philothea]

Well of course I would not do anything unsafe or if my son did not want to hold him, I would not make him.

 

But I was just trying to get a cute picture, and was about an arms length away.

 

Even in the parking lot, it was not something I would consider ideal, but where do you put a baby when you need two hands? I certainly was not going to let a stranger hold him. I could have opened the door to the van and put him on the seat or the floor, but that looks bad too, to others. You really cannot win.

[Ria]

Hmm. I'm not sure how to answer this because I have conflicting feelings about this issue. We tend to be very conservative about safety issues. So, we would never have allowed a 5yo to hold our baby while standing up or while sitting on concrete. And we still insist that our caring, mature, responsible 7yo dd sit down to hold her baby cousin. Even though children may have the best of intentions, accidents can easily happen and it could not only physically injure the baby, but also could leave the older child with an enormous sense of guilt. My dh's brother was dropped on his head on concrete by a young teenage cousin when he was a toddler, and this event really affected dh's views of this issue.

 

But, on the other hand, I feel that you as the parent would be the best judge as to whether your 5yo is capable of safely holding your baby in these situations. And I feel that it is rude of strangers to interject unsolicited opinions.

 

 

I agree that I'd have a problem from a safety standpoint. Our very-coordinated 8-year old dd dropped her baby brother years ago. She tripped over something in the hall. It was very frightening. BTW, I did not know she had picked up the baby, although she often held him on the sofa or when sitting on the floor. A child can be strong and appear able to hold an infant, but accidents do happen, and little children just are not as coordinated or used to handling infants as adults.

 

Ria

[Philothea]

BTW, dd2 is a crazy lunatic, so she doesn't get to hold the baby without overbearing crazy supervision. On the couch. With a pillow!

[Karen sn]

I know 12yo kids I wouldn't let hold my baby because they are not so smart and extremely irresponsible. If your boy is strong and responsible - who's business is it if ya let him hold the kid?

 

And I would say to the buttinskis, "I don't trust just anyone, I am aware that some adults shake and kill babies. My son I trust and we make an informed decision when we let him hold the baby."

 

Yes - it is a little "dangerous" - but goodness gracious so is everything. We have angels for a reason.

 

That said - I agree with the poster who brings up the point that if the kid did drop the baby there would be serious guilt....especially if serious injury occured.

 

My dd is 11 and I let her carry the 6 week old in the store last week.

We can't really live well if we expect danger at every turn.

[Titus.Two.Five]

I would not do it, however, as *your* children's mother, that is *your* call and I certainly wouldn't judge you for it. Geesh! People must be very bored...maybe they need a new hobby watching out for *real* crimes. :001_huh:

[Hot Lava Mama]

In our grandparents time, that would not have been an issue. I think most parents (myself included) have been so conditioned to be "careful" about everything. My MIL is AMAZED at how many car seats we are required to have. She had ten kids, not a single car seat among them. Plus, there weren't even enough seat for all the kids, so some rode on the floor of the car. We have all grown up with helments, "don't run" kind of signs, car seats, knee pads, etc. etc. etc. Kids are much tougher than we give them credit!

 

Lest anyone disagree, does anyone remember the story of that really young boy who was found wandering around after the hurricane Katrina? He was very young, I want to say 7 or 9ish. He was CARRYING an infant for miles and miles. Plus, he had several toddlers with him that he kept alive. Kids are much more capable than we think.

 

I for one think you are fine letting your child hold the baby. Especially since you are always right there. I think you are showing your child that you trust him. Plus, how far is the baby going to fall if a 5 year old is holding him? Unless your child is 6 feet tall, I don't think severe damage is going to happen to the baby.

 

Your fine. Don't let them get to you! Let the comment roll off your back, or simply give them a "thanks for the advice" comment, and continue what you are doing!

 

Hot Lava Mama

[Joanne]

It's amazing the way people feel the need to comment on!

 

No kidding.

 

I was in the DMV with my crew plus 2 of my students. I had my 4.5 year old student with me, waiting patiently in the long line. A woman kept looking at her shoes (ballet type flats)........and I knew it was coming.

 

To the child she says "I think your shoes are on the wrong feet".

 

I interupted her at the end of the sentence: No, they are fine. We are glad she put them on herself!

 

Ok, I get there are people who feel strongly that children's shoes should be on the right feet. I'm not one of them. But:

 

1) Don't passive/aggressively talk to the child. You don't "think" they are on the wrong feet.

 

2) Don't talk to the child in front of the adult. You don't have my consent, implied or otherwise.

 

3) I'm 42, able bodied and experienced. If *I*, the adult cared and wanted it changed, I would have done so.

 

4) Go back to reading the signs, watching the inefficiency and hoping you have all your correct paperwork so you don't get sent to the line for remedial car registration.

[Murphy101]

My baby and my kids? I'd have to beat them off with a stick to keep them off the baby. All of my kids adore babies and infants and crowd around to touch and comment and beg to hold like they've never seen one before. It's a whole new spin on what it means to be a babe magnet. :lol:

 

That said, I wouldn't let my 6 yr old carry the 2 month old baby. No way. Get kind of nauseated thinking about it. Heck, *I've* tripped while holding a little one more than once! (Yes, I'm a profound clutz and have been my entire life!) They all get to sit and hold though. Sitting on the thing for the picture wouldn't have bothered me as much as holding in the parking lot.

 

I have friends who let their older kids do it all the time and I wouldn't ever say anything. Although friend G does comment that I look like I'm in physical pain when they do it. It's a running joke now that I'm a bit of a nervous hen over the itty ones. :)

 

It's a parent comfort thing. Your comfort zone is different than mine, but I wouldn't think badly of you for the difference. I'd laugh it off as *my* issue if I said anything at all.

[Guest janainaz]

My son was 5 when our second child was born. He has always been a real mellow kid, seems older for his age. But, I would never have let him hold the baby unless he was on a sofa or big chair with me nearby. This is just me though. I can't say I would question another mother for her decision to let her child hold a sibling infant. Mother's know their kids and every family is different. But, if you are confident in your son's ability to protect the baby, you should feel confident whereever you are that you allow him to do so. I would just ignore the dirty looks and comments. But, if it bothers you, maybe there is a reason?? (and I'm saying that nicely :)).

[Philothea]

Well, I wouldn't say it bothers me, it is just that, I didn't realize it was something that could offend. Our kids bedtimes offend people too, and the times that we eat etc.

 

I guess I never think of stuff like this until afterwards. I grew up being the oldest with 15+ little cousins of all ages, so I am just accustimed to kids being around other kids, it doesn't worry me.

[Mamagistra]

To the child she says "I think your shoes are on the wrong feet".

 

Ok, I get there are people who feel strongly that children's shoes should be on the right feet. I'm not one of them.

 

LOL Me, neither! Thank you for posting this account; now I know I'm not the only one. :D

 

Regarding the OP, I'm reminded of a Little Rascals episode where little Spanky is left to mind the baby out in the yard. Mother tells him, "I'll be gone ALL day." :lol::lol: I don't know how realistic that was even in the thirties, but it sure amuses me.

[Angela in GA]

It would freak me out, but I would never say anything to you about it. My bff always let her younger kids walk around holding her newborns. We don't even live in the same state, and I would nearly have a panic attack if it was happening while we were on the phone with each other. I just figure, "to each his own."

[5knights3maidens]

You know your child best. ;)

[Jill- OK]

I'm reminded of a Little Rascals episode where little Spanky is left to mind the baby out in the yard. Mother tells him, "I'll be gone ALL day." :lol::lol: I don't know how realistic that was even in the thirties, but it sure amuses me.

 

I'm sayin'!

 

Now that you mention it, I can think of several Little Rascals episodes where kids were minding babies. No adult in sight.

 

And they built vehicles! (Remember...they stepped on something to make a duck squawk for a horn?) Went camping alone!

 

Not that I'm pointing to the Little Rascals as the paragon of child safety standards, but--hey...anyone smell a book?! "Little Rascals Parenting".

 

Debra...we could become parenting gurus! :D

Edited October 19, 2008 by Jill, OK

[Julie in Austin]

Is he small in size? Maybe people think he is younger.

 

(Not that that justifies butting in.)

[clane]

To the child she says "I think your shoes are on the wrong feet".

 

When I took my middle child to the docs for her 3 yr check up, the doc came into the room, looked at her shoes on the wrong feet and laughingly said that he assumed he could check off the box for putting on her own shoes. He also commented that if they bothered her that way, she'd fix them herself. ;) She spent a year or so wearing her shoes "wrong" consistently before she stopped and we haven't had any issues with it since then. (I would put them on for her if we were going for pics or something--not correct her, but just get to it first.)

 

To the OP, I know people who are fine with their five yr old holding the baby, and others (like me) who only rarely let the eight yr old hold the baby. Said eight yr old was adhd and highly distractable though and this mama usually had the babe in a sling or wrap, so it was a non-issue for us. Now the looks and questions about the safety of said sling/wrap is a whole 'nother issue...

[Melinda in VT]

It would freak me out, but I wouldn't say anything.

 

Some little old ladies are just overprotective. I got lots of comments on the fact that my babies went around without socks.

[Kris]

I have a five son year old who is a kind, responsible, loving brother to his siblings.

 

People are always getting nervous, and angry over him holding the baby.

 

I had to put a stroller away in the van (I store it there) So I had my son hold the baby for about 20 seconds in the parking lot one day, and we were going to go into the house. I was also talking to some neighbors, who I do not know at the same time-- they seemed like my son should not have been holding the baby.

 

But yesterday, we actually got a rude comment. I had the older two sit on a little stone divider wall I waited until they were situated and I let ds hold the baby for a picture with the mountains and foliage in the background. And this woman was commenting about the baby and my son holding him in a very nasty way. Luckily, I did not hear it, my husband did.

 

I think my 5 year old is strong and coordinated enough to hold the baby and he does so all of the time at home. Of course I am supervising. But I am beginning to notice that people get offended by this, like I am doing something immoral.

 

Unfortunately, people now-a-days seem to have an irresistible need to comment on all kinds of things that are none of their business. They just can't seem to help themselves -- wouldn't it be nice if it wasn't negative most of the time?

 

It's really too bad no one says, "Look at that nice, sweet, responsible little boy! Isn't she lucky to have such a great little helper!"

 

But no -- it's gotta be nasty.

Edited October 19, 2008 by Kris

[Tracey in TX]

If a family opts to integrate the older sibs into "big kid" roles to help nurture the babes, then good for them! Not everyone is comfortable with this parenting. It takes absolute control from the parent and spreads some responsibility and benefits around the family. I personally think it's precious and chose to do a bit of it when my DCs were younger. (Couldn't do much b/c of age ranges of the sibs.) As long as there isn't an imminent safety issues, strangers need to butt out and mind their own business.

Kudos for spreading the love within your family!:grouphug:

[mo2]

It's your business, not theirs. If you trust your child, go for it.

[Plaid Dad]

I think it depends on the child. I know some teens I wouldn't trust to hold an infant. :glare: A strong, calm, attentive five-year-old holding a placid baby a foot away from mom? Not a problem in my book.

[HRAAB]

That's between you and your dh. I remember my 6 yr old. dd holding her baby sister. Actually, I was more nervous about my 90 yr. old uncle holding the baby than I was about her 6 yr. old sister. We never had any injuries, and I'm very cautious.

 

When I think back to all the things that 'could have happened', I come to the conclusion that their guardian angels worked double duty. :)

 

Janet

[swellmomma]

My 5 yr old is very strong, and it is only now that I get him to hold Izzy and she is 13 months for me. When loading cars etc I always buckle baby in first then put the other items in the car. WHen Izzy was that little I even made my big kids sit down to hold her. The last thing I would want is an accident with baby falling and my child being left to feel it was their fault because I put more responsibility on them than they should have (such as holding baby while I load a vehicle). My big kids often hold Izzy for me know and have since she was 6 months old and had a lot of her own strength to hold on to them etc. Safety of baby comes first, so little ones standing around holding baby is not happening, Also at 2 months old my dd was the equivalent of a 3 week old (she was 5 weeks prem) so body strength wise like a newborn and then she had her shots and reaction and had health issues as a result so I was even more paranoid over safety.

 

Also my oldest son was 5 when my 3rd was born, he managed to drop him at 7 weeks old hitting his head, and he was sitting on the floor, but kids are kids and accidents happen. I can understand why bystanders would be worried, but that doesn't make it okay for them to say rude things to you.

[Guest janainaz]

Well, I wouldn't say it bothers me, it is just that, I didn't realize it was something that could offend. Our kids bedtimes offend people too, and the times that we eat etc.

 

I guess I never think of stuff like this until afterwards. I grew up being the oldest with 15+ little cousins of all ages, so I am just accustimed to kids being around other kids, it doesn't worry me.

 

I totally know what you mean. Our parenting offends a lot of people and I could care less - my kids are great kids and they are well behaved - not saints, but very good kids at the heart of it. They are very polite and don't have mean streaks (I see a lot of this in kids these days). We have always done things a little outside the box and I get the raised eyebrow from other families. But their judgements are their problem. Everyone is different - there is more than one way to skin a cat. I have to say it hard sometimes when you feel that you are being judged incorrectly or in your case, rude comments. I know I have judged situations incorrectly in the past, I'm still learning....

[Laurie4b]

I think people are scared because the probablity of an accident happening with a young child holding a baby is fairly significant. When people are scared, sometimes they speak up--and sometimes they don't.

 

One of my sons had a spill from a relatively short distance (about 3 ft) as a baby and now has some learning disabilities that could have come from brain damage (could be "just one of those things" too) It really bothers me. I thought I had him in a safe situation with a mother's helper. I was in the next room. I would give anything for a re-do on that. While nothing might ever happen, why take the chance?

 

I feel kinda nauseated every time I'm in the grocery store and people's young kids are in the cart, not strapped in, leaning all over the place. Sometimes I have said something if I see them totter.

 

That's a totally different issue from ones like shoes on the wrong feet.

[swellmomma]

I think people are scared because the probablity of an accident happening with a young child holding a baby is fairly significant. When people are scared, sometimes they speak up--and sometimes they don't.

 

One of my sons had a spill from a relatively short distance (about 3 ft) as a baby and now has some learning disabilities that could have come from brain damage (could be "just one of those things" too) It really bothers me. I thought I had him in a safe situation with a mother's helper. I was in the next room. I would give anything for a re-do on that. While nothing might ever happen, why take the chance?

 

I feel kinda nauseated every time I'm in the grocery store and people's young kids are in the cart, not strapped in, leaning all over the place. Sometimes I have said something if I see them totter.

 

That's a totally different issue from ones like shoes on the wrong feet.

 

ITA There was a little guy in the daycare my son attended as a baby. He fell off 1 step at 6 months old, that is like what 3" off the ground. He landed on his head on ceramic tile, most kids end up with a bump nothing more. In his case he ended up with a severe brain bleed that permanently damaged his brain, the result was that he would never learn to walk or talk. All from a fall of only 1 step at a few inches high. From the height of a 5 yr old to the ground may not be high, but onto cement, could be a disaster waiting to happen, and I am sure it is the fearof that causing people to say things, though they way they do it rude. No one is saying to be fearful of every corner, but be proactive in minimizing the risks, especially to an infant kwim.

[Karenciavo]

I'm sayin'!

 

Now that you mention it, I can think of several Little Rascals episodes where kids were minding babies. No adult in sight.

 

And they built vehicles! (Remember...they stepped on something to make a duck squawk for a horn?) Went camping alone!

 

Not that I'm pointing to the Little Rascals as the paragon of child safety standards, but--hey...anyone smell a book?! "Little Rascals Parenting".

 

Debra...we could become parenting gurus! :D

 

I'd buy the book. Once while watching my 2 oldest when young and 3 for a friend I fantasized about gluing toddlers to the floor.

[chaik76]

I think we're programmed to be too careful as a society these days. My son has been carrying his baby brother since he was an infant (he's one now). I even tell him to go and get him for me. Bad things can happen anywhere at any time to anyone, which is what I think scares people. I'm just not willing to live my life in that kind of fear. My son is strong and capable, and the baby adores him. I see absolutely no problem with a youngster holding a baby at all. There are countries where four and five year olds are completely in charge of infants and toddlers! What makes ours unable to do so?

[chaik76]

In

 

Lest anyone disagree, does anyone remember the story of that really young boy who was found wandering around after the hurricane Katrina? He was very young, I want to say 7 or 9ish. He was CARRYING an infant for miles and miles. Plus, he had several toddlers with him that he kept alive. Kids are much more capable than we think.

 

 

Hot Lava Mama

Here's the story of that little boy. He was six.

http://www.talkleft.com/story/2005/09/05/955/11308

 

ETA: This one has more detail

http://articles.latimes.com/2005/sep/05/nation/na-children5

[ma23peas]

I think it's more about a perceived risk. I think a 5 year old holding a child is a greater risk than a 15 year old holding a baby. Accidents will happen but I would not let my 5 year old carry a baby, but sitting on the couch and feeding him a bottle with my supervision, sure.

 

Here's how I look at it. Say some terrible accident happens and the baby is injured while being held by the 5 year old, is HE mature enough to not hold himself responsible and be scarred by it. I think even a 15 year old would have trouble thinking they could have done something differently, but I think they could ultimately be convinced that it was out of their control because of their social maturity...so I assign responsibilities based on their ability to 'handle' the outcomes...we can't predict all outcomes but we can predict their responses to them.

 

Tara

[Mama Lynx]

I'm sayin'!

 

Now that you mention it, I can think of several Little Rascals episodes where kids were minding babies. No adult in sight.

 

And they built vehicles! (Remember...they stepped on something to make a duck squawk for a horn?) Went camping alone!

 

Not that I'm pointing to the Little Rascals as the paragon of child safety standards, but--hey...anyone smell a book?! "Little Rascals Parenting".

 

Debra...we could become parenting gurus! :D

 

I would so buy that book.

 

We are always out of the house in ... interesting clothing. And I've always maintained that "benign neglect" was my preferred parenting philosophy, as it fosters self-sufficiency :D

[Blessedfamily]

If it's an older lady she's also from a time when adults told other people's kids what to do- At least that's how it was where I grew up. Mostly people in my neighborhood, but strangers at the mall or somewhere public would do it too.

[3lilreds in NC]

It's so up to you as the mom! My first reaction would probably be one of anxiety, but I would never say anything to a mom, especially one who was right there and attentive to the situation.

 

My 8 yo dd carries Schmooey around on her hip like she's been carrying babies for years. She gets him out of bed, changes his diaper (as long as it's just wet, not stinky, LOL) and will get him dressed. It's incredible, really, and he feels totally safe with her. You know what? She did trip and fall while carrying him once. It scared the bejeebers out of her, him and me. He wasn't hurt. It hasn't happened again. She's exceptionally careful with him. She's also a tall, strong girl.

 

My 7 yo dd, though, can barely lift him. He's about half her size and it's *really* hard for her. She tries, and I do let her if I'm right there, but he doesn't like it and she can't hold him for long at all, unless they are sitting down together.

 

The girls are so good with the baby, and they *want* to help take care of him. I let them whenever I can (and whenever he lets them). I never make them do anything and if they're uncomfortable I just take him. They fight over him in public though so I always have him when we're out of the house. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've been known to reply "Well, I have killed any of my kids yet. . ." with a laugh. I've gotten some raised eye-brows in response but most people will back off if they see that I'm relaxed and obviously confident about things. I will sometimes even rethink my policy on allowing my child to do xyz but most of the time while I will acknowledge that there is some risk in what I've allowed my child to do, it is acceptable risk because I know my child and I've coached them on how to do it and I'm usually right there to monitor and stop risky behavior etc. The worst thing to do is to show indecision - somehow busybodies see that as the ultimate sign of weakness and will step in for the kill!

[Karen in CO]

I've been known to reply "Well, I have killed any of my kids yet. . ." with a laugh. I've gotten some raised eye-brows in response but most people will back off if they see that I'm relaxed and obviously confident about things. I will sometimes even rethink my policy on allowing my child to do xyz but most of the time while I will acknowledge that there is some risk in what I've allowed my child to do, it is acceptable risk because I know my child and I've coached them on how to do it and I'm usually right there to monitor and stop risky behavior etc. The worst thing to do is to show indecision - somehow busybodies see that as the ultimate sign of weakness and will step in for the kill!

:iagree:

Yep - I'm with Jean on this. Know why you do what you do and stick with it.

 

If it helps, I have cute pictures of my middle child when she was 4 wearing her 3 month old sister in a satin mei tai. She was comfortable; I was comfortable; the baby was happy. We all lived. Life has risks. They are your children and your risks.

 

I freak out when my kids climb rocks or walk on the sides of hills, but my hubby is comfortable with the risks. I don't let them and he does. When we are together, either I don't watch or he gets them down.

 

Kids are capable of much more than we give them credit for. Maybe I watched too much Little Rascals when I was growing up.

 

Hmmm, I have more platitudes and personal examples, but you have probably had plenty already.

[cathmom]

When I was studying for my master's in German lit, we read a book set in the Weimar Republic. A young couple had a baby. One night they put the baby to bed and went out, leaving the baby by himself. They were not intending to return until the morning!

 

I of course thought this was horrible, but didn't know how to interpret it. Was this a common thing back then? A cultural difference? Or was the author trying to show that they were irresponsible? My professor didn't know, so I never found out.

[BamaTanya]

When I was studying for my master's in German lit, we read a book set in the Weimar Republic. A young couple had a baby. One night they put the baby to bed and went out, leaving the baby by himself. They were not intending to return until the morning!

 

I of course thought this was horrible, but didn't know how to interpret it. Was this a common thing back then? A cultural difference? Or was the author trying to show that they were irresponsible? My professor didn't know, so I never found out.

 

My mom knew a German mom (married to an American airman) who did the same thing.

 

And I read in Uncle Arthur's Bedtime Stories from the '40s about 5-6 year olds staying home while Mommy went shopping or the same kids roaming the streets and talking to all kinds of strangers.

 

I do believe its a cultural thing. I am extremely overprotective. I know it. But I think that's expected in my community/family/etc.

 

Sometimes those stories ended in tragedy, so maybe that's why I am the way I am.

[Peela]

I just think our society has become over-protective. A mother knows her children well enough to know which of her children can hold the baby.

 

I think its becoming such that people just have to be strong in themselves and not worry what other people think. Otherwise we all just become sheep.

[Carpe Diem]

I think part of me use to be bothered when I saw younger kids holding babies. Not anymore though, not sure why. Maybe I've gotten over my busybody stage!! I did allow my kids to hold siblings as long as they weren't walking around. As a pp said I am sure people have plenty of concerns about our family. Sadly, my Aunt was around 5 or 6 when she dropped her baby cousin. The baby died. My parents liked to remind me of this family history when my oldest was toting around my youngest.

Edited October 20, 2008 by Carpe Diem
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[Robin Hood]

I am always shocked when I see those little guys or gals holding babies, but I have also noticed that mothers who have a lot confidence in their kids to do this, have confident kids who can do it. I wonder if we under estimate the little ones at times. I know I do.

[sagira]

I just think our society has become over-protective. A mother knows her children well enough to know which of her children can hold the baby.

 

I think its becoming such that people just have to be strong in themselves and not worry what other people think. Otherwise we all just become sheep.

 

:iagree:

 

Well said, Peela.

[Lovedtodeath]

Get the book Elizabeti's Doll and Mama Elizabeti. It is a little girl in Tanzania taking care of her baby brother. You will not regret it!