UPDATE in Post 48:Terminal child dies in Santa's arms

[Lanny]

I think this article is both sad and wonderful.

  http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/12/11/cried-all-way-home-santa-claus-grants-final-wish-dying-child/95315536/

Edited December 15, 2016 by Lanny

[alisoncooks]

What a joyful way for the child to go, but I ache for the mother.

[Guest]

Well if that doesn't make you bawl your eyes out I don't know what will.

[ikslo]

Well, that just made me cry at work, Lanny.  I hope you're happy.

[Selkie]

I think this article is both sad and wonderful.

  http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/12/11/cried-all-way-home-santa-claus-grants-final-wish-dying-child/95315536/

 

I read that earlier this morning and could not stop crying.  How touching and heartbreaking...

[OneStepAtATime]

That would be so very hard. I'm glad he made it in time.

[Guest]

What a beautiful privilege for that man to be the one person who could make that boy happy. But his poor family.

 

My BIL died suddenly on Christmas Eve. It was such a strong lesson for me. Don't expect everyone to be full of joy this time of year. Some people have heavy burdens.

[Lanny]

Well, that just made me cry at work, Lanny.  I hope you're happy.

 

Happy. No...  You are, obviously, a very nice person.

[Guest]

I know, I don't know what reasonable person wouldn't cry like a baby over that. I'm glad he made it too, but so hard to watch. I think the man's advice to the kiddo was just perfect though, and perfectly timed. Bless him :(

[happi duck]

*crying*

[fraidycat]

:(

[JoJosMom]

What a blessing that man is to bring such joy to others, especially in such a horrible circumstance.  I'm glad that he didn't give up being Santa.

 

Thank you for sharing this, Lanny.

[Arctic Bunny]

*tears, lots of tears*

[Outdoorsy Type]

That was incredibly sad. I don't know how he had the strength to compose himself while talking with the little boy. 😭

[TravelingChris]

Crying here too.

 

Sent from my SCH-I545 using Tapatalk

[umsami]

I saw this in the morning.   Praying for the Santa. 

[happi duck]

I wish his mommy was with him too. :(

[Terabith]

Me too

[Seasider]

I wish his mommy was with him too. :(

I'm glad you said. I didn't know how to phrase it right. This is a very touching story but it saddened me that Santa displaced the boy's parents.

[poppy]

It is a beautiful story and I can completely understand why he felt so compelled to share it. Because it really does show how volunteering can have an enormous emotional impact. At the same time, it is so very personal. I wish he'd had the foresight to leave out the comment the mother made when the child died. I don't blame him for being imperfect though.

 

It is a beautiful moment and i was so touched by it.

[MercyA]

So sad.  :(

[SproutMamaK]

On the one hand, I think the story is meaningful (and tragic). On the other hand... I wonder how his family feels about this going viral. I hope they feel it's a tribute to his life rather than feeling resentful of it, but I can see it going either way. I just hope this isn't adding to their pain. :/

[TechWife]

I started noticing this click bait a day or two ago, this is the first time I've read the story. I think it's terrible that the "Santa" exploited this child and his family by publicizing this story. Likewise, I sure do hope that the nurse at the hospital had the family's permission before she contacted the Santa. Intruding on such an intimate time should not be done lightly, if at all. 

[Guest]

At least in the story I read there were no names of anyone but the engineer Santa, so I don't think it's really exploitation when he was just telling his side of something meaningful related to something we all take lightly this time of the year. If he included a picture with the boy or family names I'd be more concerned.

[TechWife]

At least in the story I read there were no names of anyone but the engineer Santa, so I don't think it's really exploitation when he was just telling his side of something meaningful related to something we all take lightly this time of the year. If he included a picture with the boy or family names I'd be more concerned.

 

It is exploitation. The family of the little boy knows exactly who he is talking about. Sometimes the right thing to do is to not talk about intimate moments. This is one of them. 

 

Respect for the dying and their family is one (of many) things that shouldn't fall to the Facebook/twitter/Instagram/Snapchat culture. Years ago this man would have just done a nice thing and left it at that. That standard of behavior should prevail. There is no benefit to anyone but him to relate the story. 

[Rosie_0801]

 There is no benefit to anyone but him to relate the story. 

 

Yeah, well. He matters too. Someone else's kid just died in his lap. Getting kudos from internet strangers is going to help him get through that just as much as my thread on this forum a few years back helped me. He's probably going to look it up every year too, to help him get through, because every Christmas is going to be the anniversary of someone's kid dying in his lap. He's going to carry the burden of that good deed forever.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

It is exploitation. The family of the little boy knows exactly who he is talking about. Sometimes the right thing to do is to not talk about intimate moments. This is one of them. 

 

Respect for the dying and their family is one (of many) things that shouldn't fall to the Facebook/twitter/Instagram/Snapchat culture. Years ago this man would have just done a nice thing and left it at that. That standard of behavior should prevail. There is no benefit to anyone but him to relate the story. 

 

BS. Stories like these have been told for years. 

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I started noticing this click bait a day or two ago, this is the first time I've read the story. I think it's terrible that the "Santa" exploited this child and his family by publicizing this story. Likewise, I sure do hope that the nurse at the hospital had the family's permission before she contacted the Santa. Intruding on such an intimate time should not be done lightly, if at all. 

 

The mom was there with a wrapped gift.  If she didn't want Santa to go in, then she had the right to say she couldn't.  You know why?  Because she wanted her little boy to see Santa one last time.  And he did.  This man left a little piece of himself in that room, and if he needs to tell the story then leave him be.

Edited December 13, 2016 by ChocolateReignRemix

[Rosie_0801]

BS. Stories like these have been told for years. 

 

Sure. Confirmation of death was provided to the media before it was provided to me and I was sitting about 20m away. Obviously without confirmation, I couldn't ring his father. 

[happi duck]

Sure. Confirmation of death was provided to the media before it was provided to me and I was sitting about 20m away. Obviously without confirmation, I couldn't ring his father.

I'm sorry...

(hugs)

[TechWife]

There is a difference between how strories were told in the past and how they are broadcast around the world today. Telling your story doesn't have to be done in such a public manner. There is a difference between inviting a Santa and giving him permission to tell intimate details about their sons death. So glad none of you were in the room when my mom died last week, there's no telling what you would be telling others now. Death is intimate.

[Lilaclady]

(((((Hugs)))))) Rosie

[MercyA]

There is a difference between how strories were told in the past and how they are broadcast around the world today. Telling your story doesn't have to be done in such a public manner. There is a difference between inviting a Santa and giving him permission to tell intimate details about their sons death. So glad none of you were in the room when my mom died last week, there's no telling what you would be telling others now. Death is intimate.

 

I'm so sorry for your loss, TechWife. 

[Rosie_0801]

The experience of a parent dying isn't the same as the experience of a child dying.

 

Death is intimate, it is also public. There are people you have to tell because it is their business. There are people you tell because it is easier than hiding it. There are people you tell for reasons that don't make much sense but you do it anyway because you care more about how you're feeling than how the person you're imposing on feels. And mostly they act as though your imposition is an honour.

 

Unless you have personally spoken to this boy's parents and have the sort of relationship where they would tell you the whole truth, you can't know what they think about this going viral. People who have lost children seem to be more generous* about these situations than people who haven't would expect.

 

*I don't mean that other people are mean or stingy. I think there is probably a better choice of word than generous but I can't think of it.

[TechWife]

The experience of a parent dying isn't the same as the experience of a child dying.

 

Death is intimate, it is also public. There are people you have to tell because it is their business. There are people you tell because it is easier than hiding it. There are people you tell for reasons that don't make much sense but you do it anyway because you care more about how you're feeling than how the person you're imposing on feels. And mostly they act as though your imposition is an honour.

 

Unless you have personally spoken to this boy's parents and have the sort of relationship where they would tell you the whole truth, you can't know what they think about this going viral. People who have lost children seem to be more generous* about these situations than people who haven't would expect.

 

*I don't mean that other people are mean or stingy. I think there is probably a better choice of word than generous but I can't think of it.

 

Rephrase: The moment of death is intimate. It doesn't matter who witnesses it, it is intimate. It should be intimate for this man, I am sad that it isn't. 

 

There are people who need to know that a person has died, no matter what their age. However, very few need to know exactly what happened at the moment of death (excluding criminal proceedings, of course). 

[Guest]

The experience of a parent dying isn't the same as the experience of a child dying.

 

Death is intimate, it is also public. There are people you have to tell because it is their business. There are people you tell because it is easier than hiding it. There are people you tell for reasons that don't make much sense but you do it anyway because you care more about how you're feeling than how the person you're imposing on feels. And mostly they act as though your imposition is an honour.

 

Unless you have personally spoken to this boy's parents and have the sort of relationship where they would tell you the whole truth, you can't know what they think about this going viral. People who have lost children seem to be more generous* about these situations than people who haven't would expect.

 

*I don't mean that other people are mean or stingy. I think there is probably a better choice of word than generous but I can't think of it.

A dear friend of mine lost her child to cancer and I was genuinely surprised at how generous and public she was with the story, her grief, and mourning. I was expecting more privacy but she really wanted to remember her daughter by sharing her with as many people as possible, and her favorite thing is people sharing memories of her child with her to keep her as alive in the hearts of everyone who knew her as possible. Even her blogging about each day of the struggle in hospital was so detailed, and I know how she struggled some days to write it.

 

It's definitely individual - grief is personal and varied, and there isn't really a wrong way to do it, unless it involves disrespecting the wishes of those closer to the center of the circle than you. But I'm really not sure that happened here, and I think this was part of the Santa grieving as he was brought into this experience too.

 

I can't judge in this case. But I'm not just going to assume he was violating anyone's wishes in telling this story he was asked to participate in.

 

It blessed me to hear nonetheless, this one really touched me,

[prairiewindmomma]

In my experience of sitting in a pediatric oncology ward with my child....a lot of children wait to pass until their parents are out of the room.  Oftentimes, a parent would step into the shower or step outside to talk to a doctor or run out to the snack machine and the child would pass.  I am not at all surprised to hear that a child passed in a "safe" person's arms while their parent was briefly out of the room.

 

I don't understand this type of story---the undertone of "I got into this to spread joy and fun and this was not fun and it ruined my Santa gig for me?"  Sorry, Santa. 

[Charlie]

In my experience of sitting in a pediatric oncology ward with my child....a lot of children wait to pass until their parents are out of the room.  Oftentimes, a parent would step into the shower or step outside to talk to a doctor or run out to the snack machine and the child would pass.  I am not at all surprised to hear that a child passed in a "safe" person's arms while their parent was briefly out of the room.

 

I don't understand this type of story---the undertone of "I got into this to spread joy and fun and this was not fun and it ruined my Santa gig for me?"  Sorry, Santa. 

 

For me, it's a story that transgresses boundaries. I think especially now people are feeling a bit more... alienated than ever before. Politics feels divisive, and whether that's because it really is or because we tend to follow those sources that validate our feelings, I don't know, but it seems that way. Social media seems to have evolved into a giant reflection mirror that illuminates our biggest hopes - and fears and worries. News travels faster than ever before, and despite this being the least violent time in, like, ever, people feel more on edge and vulnerable simply because we can see the bogey man up close and personal, even if he is 11,000 miles away, and even if he is someone's loved child or spouse or parent. We feel divided, confused, and alarmed. Life happens so much faster now, trends come and go quickly, urban myths are mistaken for real facts and real facts are mistaken for conspiracies. It's a tumultuous time to be alive and to watch in real time how millions of people process this rapidly shrinking global neighborhood we find ourselves living in.

 

And then there's this Santa guy who does a cute thing year after year. Who doesn't love Santa, right? I'm an atheist and I love Santa anyway. I think of Santa like snowmen and reindeer and hot chocolate and popcorn and curling up under blankets to watch movies in the comfort of your warm home. It's not just a shtick, it's living art, personalized theater that brings you back to your "happy place" idyllic childhood when your eyes beheld the wonders of a magical world and your imagination new no bounds. But it's a safe place. It's a happy place, even if it's just for a short time and you know it's an illusion. Illusions can still feel good. Rainbows are still beautiful even when we know what they're made of.

 

Then this Santa gets a call from a friend and he knows immediately this isn't about fun or making good memories. This is going to be heart wrenching. This is going to take every ounce of courage he has to divorce his own emotions from the situation, to pretend to not feel as much as he does so he can do a good thing for a kid he doesn't know. A kid who won't remember. A kid who could be from a family that mocks or despises all the things this Santa holds valuable. A kid who embodies the very human experience - cognitive awareness of our vulnerability, knowledge of our own mortality, unlimited imagination yet to be tapped, and yet hasn't done a goddamn thing on this earth to deserve any of that pain. And so Santa goes in, and in reading this story, I feel like we get to be a part of that experience. We get to be reminded of what it means to be a member of the human family, not divided by miles or religion or race or ethnicity or politics or anything else that we learn to define as "right" or "wrong." We're just there. We're stripped down to our proverbial bare bones and we watch one human reach out and touch another. And if there's magic in the world, it's in moments like this. And if love can ever be said to be forever, it's in giving of oneself like this. And the fact that one man gave such love, without any expectation of reciprocity, simply for a child, gives foolish romantics like me hope for humanity in these very uncertain times.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

For me, it's a story that transgresses boundaries. I think especially now people are feeling a bit more... alienated than ever before. Politics feels divisive, and whether that's because it really is or because we tend to follow those sources that validate our feelings, I don't know, but it seems that way. Social media seems to have evolved into a giant reflection mirror that illuminates our biggest hopes - and fears and worries. News travels faster than ever before, and despite this being the least violent time in, like, ever, people feel more on edge and vulnerable simply because we can see the bogey man up close and personal, even if he is 11,000 miles away, and even if he is someone's loved child or spouse or parent. We feel divided, confused, and alarmed. Life happens so much faster now, trends come and go quickly, urban myths are mistaken for real facts and real facts are mistaken for conspiracies. It's a tumultuous time to be alive and to watch in real time how millions of people process this rapidly shrinking global neighborhood we find ourselves living in.

 

And then there's this Santa guy who does a cute thing year after year. Who doesn't love Santa, right? I'm an atheist and I love Santa anyway. I think of Santa like snowmen and reindeer and hot chocolate and popcorn and curling up under blankets to watch movies in the comfort of your warm home. It's not just a shtick, it's living art, personalized theater that brings you back to your "happy place" idyllic childhood when your eyes beheld the wonders of a magical world and your imagination new no bounds. But it's a safe place. It's a happy place, even if it's just for a short time and you know it's an illusion. Illusions can still feel good. Rainbows are still beautiful even when we know what they're made of.

 

Then this Santa gets a call from a friend and he knows immediately this isn't about fun or making good memories. This is going to be heart wrenching. This is going to take every ounce of courage he has to divorce his own emotions from the situation, to pretend to not feel as much as he does so he can do a good thing for a kid he doesn't know. A kid who won't remember. A kid who could be from a family that mocks or despises all the things this Santa holds valuable. A kid who embodies the very human experience - cognitive awareness of our vulnerability, knowledge of our own mortality, unlimited imagination yet to be tapped, and yet hasn't done a goddamn thing on this earth to deserve any of that pain. And so Santa goes in, and in reading this story, I feel like we get to be a part of that experience. We get to be reminded of what it means to be a member of the human family, not divided by miles or religion or race or ethnicity or politics or anything else that we learn to define as "right" or "wrong." We're just there. We're stripped down to our proverbial bare bones and we watch one human reach out and touch another. And if there's magic in the world, it's in moments like this. And if love can ever be said to be forever, it's in giving of oneself like this. And the fact that one man gave such love, without any expectation of reciprocity, simply for a child, gives foolish romantics like me hope for humanity in these very uncertain times.

 

:001_wub:

 

 

[hornblower]

This story may have been fake. 
 
The paper which published is walking back from it. 


http://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/local/2016/12/14/story-santa-claus-dying-child-cant-verified/95423868/

[Guest]

I'm glad they decided to publish their findings on verification. Unless it is proven false it doesn't really change my sentiments on it but kudos to the paper for trying to stay on the up and up with their coverage and standards!

[SproutMamaK]

This story may have been fake. 

 

The paper which published is walking back from it. 

 

 

http://www.knoxnews.com/story/news/local/2016/12/14/story-santa-claus-dying-child-cant-verified/95423868/

I have to "like" this, not because I think it is fake, but because it shows integrity all around. The story can't be independently confirmed because the Santa is trying to respect the privacy of the family and give up their name/info. The hospital won't discuss it with the news. The news is therefore saying "we can't publish news we can't verify from independent sources." It doesn't sound so much like anyone is making accusations as it sounds like everyone respecting the integrity of their various professions, which is less common than I'd like to admit.

[poppy]

Yes. The paper is doing the right thing, as is the 'Santa'.  The family can come forward if they wish, down the road.  But this is their story, not ours.  

[Guest]

The experience of a parent dying isn't the same as the experience of a child dying.

 

Death is intimate, it is also public. There are people you have to tell because it is their business. There are people you tell because it is easier than hiding it. There are people you tell for reasons that don't make much sense but you do it anyway because you care more about how you're feeling than how the person you're imposing on feels. And mostly they act as though your imposition is an honour.

 

Unless you have personally spoken to this boy's parents and have the sort of relationship where they would tell you the whole truth, you can't know what they think about this going viral. People who have lost children seem to be more generous* about these situations than people who haven't would expect.

 

*I don't mean that other people are mean or stingy. I think there is probably a better choice of word than generous but I can't think of it.

Nicely said.

 

An acquaintance of mine, whose child recently died of cancer after an 8-year battle, kept a FB page and blog in which he shared many videos and stories about his daughter. I was horrified by the vitriolic comments he received on his FB page over the videos he shared, and the photos when she died. This is a very extroverted and communicative man; that he would want to share in an open way, even the ugly bits, fits with his character. It is obviously what helps him process grief. I don't understand why people who would not choose the same thing would feel the need to be hateful about it publically. Let the man grieve however he grieves.

[Rosie_0801]

I don't understand why people who would not choose the same thing would feel the need to be hateful about it publically. Let the man grieve however he grieves.

 

It's not even "would not" is it? It's an expectation that you would not. When you get there, you find that avoiding the creation of a taboo becomes pretty important. That's not something I think many people can imagine because our brains protect us from thinking about it properly.

 

Anyway...  :cheers2:

[Guest]

It's not even "would not" is it? It's an expectation that you would not. When you get there, you find that avoiding the creation of a taboo becomes pretty important. That's not something I think many people can imagine because our brains protect us from thinking about it properly.

 

Anyway... :cheers2:

True. It is exactly like that.

[Lanny]

Update: The TN newspaper cannot verify that this story is true. They cannot say that it isn't true either. If it is a hoax, I hope the "Santa" will go to an experienced Psychiatrist for the help he needs.  This is online on 15 December 2016 at 753 A.M., E.S.T.

 

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2016/12/14/report-terminally-ill-boy-who-died-in-santas-arms-called-into-question.html

[zyxwvut]

Maybe no one is saying anything to protect the identity of the family?

[bettyandbob]

Maybe no one is saying anything to protect the identity of the family?

I hope this is the problem.

 

I hate being manipulated with a story like that.

[maize]

I would think the hospital staff would be bound by privacy concerns, the only people who would be at liberty to confirm would be the child's family and they certainly shouldn't be pressured to do so.