What are the silliest comments that you have received regarding homeschooling?

[TrixieB]

Yeah I've said the same for years. Selection bias, not neuro typical etc etc. I am still not totally buying it. Some cases yes. But some are totally normal intelligence and are not on the spectrum. But they just don't relate well to other kids at all. Sure they could have been like that anyways regardless of schooling but it is really painful to see. And I don't see the same thing in schooled kids. Not in the same way.

 

I still homeschool and I still think it is the best for socialization. But yes there are homeschooling families who never get their kids around other kids and it is not doing those kids any favors. I denied this for years and explained it away with all these same reasonings. And yet, I still keep seeing it. Parents who want to homeschool need to take both education and proper socialization seriously. And I'm sticking to that opinion.

 

How do you know they are not on the spectrum?  Not all parents & kids share diagnosis info.  And not all kids who would be given a spectrum diagnosis if they were evaluated have been evaluated.

[Incognito]

But this isn't really true once you get out of high school. When I was in college, I used to get constantly asked if I was going out on a date later with my then-boyfriend because I'd been socialized in high school to never leave the house without looking "put together". Whereas at college people would just roll out of bed and head to class in sweats & a ponytail. It took me years and years to gain the self-confidence to not give a flip. Pretty much until I had my 2nd kid and became a SAHM.

 

There's truth to what you are saying, but that is more of a mini-culture of acceptance of various deviations from the norm.

 

Through high school it was more about brand names and such.  After, it is more about fashion and trends (and subtle nods to brands/quality of items).  I can guarantee you that I am treated quite differently if I wear my jeans and hoodie compared to if I wear my more trendy mom-type clothes.  It is much *less* pronounced in the homeschooling world, but it's still there too.  

 

I never bought into the tall boot trend, and I set myself apart from about 75% of middle aged women by not doing so.  They don't hate me or mock me for it, but it does affect relationships.  ETA: I don't know that they would even recognize the issue as such, but it is underneath the surface.

 

And it does go both ways for me too.  I often wonder about the people who do seem to keep on top of the trends.  I don't actually find it a positive attribute - I tend to find it shallow and feel like it signals to me a possible discrepancy in values in relation to $$ and self-esteem (some current fashions seem to me like they are trying too hard to show off bodies).  But not out loud or all the time or anything.  I have plenty of people I like who aren't out of fashion, and I suppose if I lost a few pounds I'd be more tempted to buy a few new tops myself. ;) 

Edited October 7, 2016 by Incognito

[J-rap]

"So what do you do besides play all day?"

[TX Native]

I forgot about one comment not too long ago. I was behind a SAHM acquaintance in a store check out line on a weekday. Our kids were in the same playgroup during their preschool years. My kids were at an outsourced class and she asked where my kids were (hers were in school). I thought it was nice of her to ask. Then it ruined it for me when she responded in a compassionate voice, "Oh, how nice that you get a couple of hours to yourself once in awhile."

 

Little does she know that just because I homeschool, my kids and I aren't glued at the hip.

Edited October 7, 2016 by TX native

[Jean in Newcastle]

The main reason there is some uniformity of dress at our local schools is because of the dress codes.  No pajama bottoms are allowed, though I do see kids wearing them at the mall and out and about on the weekends.  Pants must go up to the waist and cannot be at the same level as underwear.  I see low pants out on the street etc. so obviously kids wear them when they are not at school.  Tank top straps must be as wide as the longest side of their I.D. card. . .   the list is a long one.  Kids do not somehow magically follow this dress code when they don't have to. 

[TX Native]

"So what do you do besides play all day?"

Am I supposed to be doing something else?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I have taught hundreds of kids.  There are out of control kids (for all sorts of reasons) in public schools as well as homeschools.  There are quirky socially awkward kids (again for all sorts of reasons) in public schools as well as homeschools.  There are conservatively dressed kids in public schools as well as homeschools.  As long as it conforms with the school dress code (see above post), there are sloppily dressed kids in public schools as well as homeschools.  There are flaky kids in public schools as well as. . . . you get the idea. . .    

[Guest]

The neuropsychologist who evaluated my son: "...So I strongly recommend putting your son in a special education program in a public school."

 

My husband: "Well, most likely we will continue to homeschooling him, since it's been working well for him and for us so far."

 

Neuropsychologist, in a snarky manner: "Oh. I didn't realize your wife is a certified special education teacher."

 

(I'm not.)

 

Then she got REALLY snotty with us, and at that point my husband called an end to the meeting and we walked out.

[DesertBlossom]

The neuropsychologist who evaluated my son: "...So I strongly recommend putting your son in a special education program in a public school."

 

My husband: "Well, most likely we will continue to homeschooling him, since it's been working well for him and for us so far."

 

Neuropsychologist, in a snarky manner: "Oh. I didn't realize your wife is a certified special education teacher."

 

(I'm not.)

 

Then she got REALLY snotty with us, and at that point my husband called an end to the meeting and we walked out.

Things like this really bug me. Not to discount the years of schooling that professionals go through or their expertise, but I have seen a lot of parents becomes near-experts in something because of a child's diagnosis. Whether it's a birth defect or a chronic illness or whatever. Parents, when determined to help their child, will learn a lot to be an advocate for their child. Not to say that professional help isn't necessary, but educated parents can often accomplish a lot more because they are the 24/7 caregiver.

[Wheres Toto]

There's truth to what you are saying, but that is more of a mini-culture of acceptance of various deviations from the norm.

 

Through high school it was more about brand names and such.  After, it is more about fashion and trends (and subtle nods to brands/quality of items).  I can guarantee you that I am treated quite differently if I wear my jeans and hoodie compared to if I wear my more trendy mom-type clothes.  It is much *less* pronounced in the homeschooling world, but it's still there too.  

 

I never bought into the tall boot trend, and I set myself apart from about 75% of middle aged women by not doing so.  They don't hate me or mock me for it, but it does affect relationships.  ETA: I don't know that they would even recognize the issue as such, but it is underneath the surface.

 

And it does go both ways for me too.  I often wonder about the people who do seem to keep on top of the trends.  I don't actually find it a positive attribute - I tend to find it shallow and feel like it signals to me a possible discrepancy in values in relation to $$ and self-esteem (some current fashions seem to me like they are trying too hard to show off bodies).  But not out loud or all the time or anything.  I have plenty of people I like who aren't out of fashion, and I suppose if I lost a few pounds I'd be more tempted to buy a few new tops myself. ;)

 

This idea is crazy to me (NOT saying that it's not your experience, just seems strange to me).  I couldn't imagine whether or not someone is wearing tall boots affecting relationships.  I will admit, I tend to be oblivious to fashion and probably couldn't even tell you what someone was wearing after I spent an entire day with them.  I usually do jeans, uggs and hoodies in the winter/fall, jeans, slides and t-shirts in the spring/summer.  I've never noticed people treating me differently on those days than they did when I was working and had to dress nicer.

 

I spend a lot of time with non-homeschoolers, probably more than I do with homeschoolers.

 

But then again, I do love my boots so maybe that's enough for me to be acceptable?

[Jean in Newcastle]

This idea is crazy to me (NOT saying that it's not your experience, just seems strange to me).  I couldn't imagine whether or not someone is wearing tall boots affecting relationships. 

 

It's crazy to me too.  I can't imagine any of the wonderful people I know in this area caring one whit about how someone is dressed.  We interact with each other in the world of ideas and books.  We care about if someone is friendly and approachable and interesting, not whether they are a fashion plate or not.  I can't say that any of us dress that crazy - just basic casual attire for the most part unless a venue/occasion calls for something different.  But caring if someone had boots on?  Or a brand name?  Or was "pulled together"?  Nope.  Obviously we all have our own personalities, tastes and even budgets, but it's not used to critique each other. 

[Jenny in Florida]

I have a good friend. We've known each other for something like 15 years. She's not anti-homeschooling; in fact, she homeschooled her son for a year or so when he was younger. She's now an adjunct at the local community college, teaching mostly freshman comp.

 

Several years ago, we were having coffee while I was laying out lesson plans for my daughter for the year. She was watching me sort through books and calculate weekly assignments, and we were chatting about our lives. Suddenly, she asked, and I can't remember the exact wording, but the gist was whether I was worried I was ruining my daughter's college experience, because she would already have read everything before she got there.

 

Hyperbole, for sure, but there was some genuine concern there, too.

 

From an English teacher. Who was apparently worried my daughter would run out of books to read for school.

 

Sigh.

 

I've also heard the one about bullies and "How will your kids learn to deal with unpleasant or difficult people?" One mom from our then-church asked me, "Don't you think they really need to have those bad experiences?" She seemed completely nonplussed when I just said, "No."

[Guest]

I've found that comments have their seasons. I got a lot when I first started. Then after a couple of years when it was a bit more obvious that I was confident and my kids were fine, they dropped off. During middle school people were very supportive since our middle school has a gang reputation. But then high school hit and the comments get more strident.

 

I found a funny way to turn off the anti home school comments for high school by accident. With ds, the interrogation would continue until I mentioned that I taught him Latin. "Oooh, Latin? Wow, you go, girl!"

 

Now dd has started homeschool high school and the interrogators have started up again. She isn't interested in Latin and apparently teaching her Japanese doesn't have the same cache. But I was at the doctor's office and happened to mention that I had graduated one and he's at college and the change in tone was remarkable! They actually cheered me and gave me high fives!!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I do think Latin has rather magical powers!! I have noticed the difference in it versus other languages myself when people ask what subjects dd is studying. When it was German and French no one said anything. But Latin, boy, well.....I went from the poor misguided homeschool mom to intimidating super mom in a single sentence. It's like "oh she's studying Latin." Boom. Mic drop.

 

The comments magically switched from "how exactly do you plan to teach her XYZ?" to "Oh wow, that's so cool, I could never do that." I don't have the heart to tell them I don't. Mr. Visual Latin does. I just want to enjoy my SuperMom cape for a while longer, so shhhh don't tell them that Latin is nothing fancy around these parts.... :d

[Blossom'sGirl]

A coworker once told my husband that we must homeschool because we don't want to pay school taxes. 

[Guest]

A coworker once told my husband that we must homeschool because we don't want to pay school taxes. 

 

If only. I'd have jumped on this train a long time ago. ;)

[Mrs.Wilson]

So, I have sort of a reverse funny.

 

When we moved from CA to MO we found a small church in our little bitty town. We decided to go check it out for a weeknight service. After service was over the ladies of the church (lol all five of them) swarmed me. They were really nice, but when they came to the question, "So, have you enrolled your kids in school yet?" I got a little nervous. This was the moment of either welcoming or possible shunning. It really could go either way. Tentatively, I told them we homeschool. Lol You should've heard them! They were so happy, because all of them homeschool, too!

[Incognito]

It's crazy to me too.  I can't imagine any of the wonderful people I know in this area caring one whit about how someone is dressed.  We interact with each other in the world of ideas and books.  We care about if someone is friendly and approachable and interesting, not whether they are a fashion plate or not.  I can't say that any of us dress that crazy - just basic casual attire for the most part unless a venue/occasion calls for something different.  But caring if someone had boots on?  Or a brand name?  Or was "pulled together"?  Nope.  Obviously we all have our own personalities, tastes and even budgets, but it's not used to critique each other. 

 

I used to live in that world too.  Where I live now, people do not generally dwell in the world of ideas and books. 

 

I'm sure people here generally go by "friendly, approachable, and interesting" too - but what makes someone appear that way?  Here, it seems to me that clothing plays a part in it.  

 

FWIW, I feel badly that my description makes the people around me sound petty.  I don't think most of them are.  I don't think they'd say it matters to them - but in observing them I see that it does.  I wish I knew where that NPR "article" was - I'll look for it.

 

Well, this isn't the thing I heard on NPR, but it is one of many articles talking about the concept. 

Edited October 8, 2016 by Incognito

[TABmom]

I guess I sometimes make "judgements", not in a good/bad way but in a "does this person seem like a person I would click with?" I admit, I do not always approach women who seem really well-put together, trend followers or whatever. Maybe I'' more intimidated by them than by people who look like I look- jeans/t-shirts. But it is an initial reaction- and I do try to move past that. Sometimes after only a couple conversations I really do connect with them.

[musicianmom]

*

Edited May 21, 2022 by musicianmom

[La Condessa]

My funniest one was, "But you won't be able to homeschool her, you'll have a new baby the year she starts school!" From my MIL, when we told her we were planning on homeschooling. Dd1 was only a year old at the time. Apparently MIL had the plans for our future children all mapped out in her mind, 'cause the idea for that spacing sure didn't come from us. (We actually had #4 about when she had planned on our second). :)

 

I get the socialization question a lot, too, but I have the perfect response. "I was socially damaged by my experiences in public school. It took me years of work to get past that. So this concern really doesn't hold weight for me." I discovered a while back that this stops even the most pushy people in their tracks.

[Guest]

A coworker once told my husband that we must homeschool because we don't want to pay school taxes.

If only it worked like that.

 

 

 

(Not really; I'm not intending to start a debate on the many millions of people who pay taxes to support the local schools yet have no children attending.)

[JustEm]

My close co-worker is convinced that kids need to be in school by high school because they need to learn to juggle full-time school, extracurriculars, and part time jobs and learn to get by on less sleep. Otherwise they will get overwhelmed when they get to college.

This is funny to me because I got more sleep and was less stressed in college than I ever was in highschool. College didn't have the endless amount of tedious homework that kept me up all night even though I could do great in a class without doing it.

[G5052]

I could go on and on. I'm graduating my last one this year.

 

My favorites:

 

How do you buy books? (with a credit card on Amazon)

What if they have a fever? (let them read or watch TV for the day, just like kids who stay home from the classroom)

What if they refuse to do their work? (what if they refuse to do their chores?)

How do you do recess? (let them play outside -- what a concept)

 

 

 

[Dmmetler]

My close co-worker is convinced that kids need to be in school by high school because they need to learn to juggle full-time school, extracurriculars, and part time jobs and learn to get by on less sleep. Otherwise they will get overwhelmed when they get to college.

My DD told the person in the local college "welcome center" that she would rather do college classes than "classes with kids your age" because "high school has too much busywork. I'd rather spend less time, learn more, and spend my time with kids my age actually having fun!". The kid has a point...

[shawthorne44]

My DD told the person in the local college "welcome center" that she would rather do college classes than "classes with kids your age" because "high school has too much busywork. I'd rather spend less time, learn more, and spend my time with kids my age actually having fun!". The kid has a point...

 

I wish I could like this twice.  

[Insertcreativenamehere]

My mom was talking to her friend who mentioned that she buys her grandkids' school clothes. My mom commented that she'd never done that and the friend responded, "Well, they're homeschooled ... they don't need clothes."

 

To which my mom responded, "They're homeschooled, but they still wear clothes!"

[....]

A coworker once told my husband that we must homeschool because we don't want to pay school taxes. 

 

That's funny.  We pay taxes to 2 separate school districts.  (and don't attend either of them)

[Tanaqui]

To which my mom responded, "They're homeschooled, but they still wear clothes!"

 

Nudist homeschooling. What a concept! Maybe if I live someplace warmer, like Hawaii.

 

[DesertBlossom]

Nudist homeschooling. What a concept! Maybe if I live someplace warmer, like Hawaii.

Think of how much time and laundry detergent would be saved! This should be a thing.

[Guest]

Nudist homeschooling. What a concept! Maybe if I live someplace warmer, like Hawaii.

Or we could teach them to make their clothes. Home Ec.

[ktgrok]

My mom told me I should send my dd to school because it would cure her speech problems. Because she'd have people to talk to. Sigh. 

[Tanaqui]

Think of how much time and laundry detergent would be saved! This should be a thing.

 

You have no idea how much I loathe laundry.

 

[Guest]

You have no idea how much I loathe laundry.

Word.

 

Just for you:

http://www.memepile.com/pics/4684.jpg

[DesertBlossom]

You have no idea how much I loathe laundry.

With 6 kids, I bet I have an idea. 😅

[lanalouwho]

My boys spend all day in their underwear. Sometimes the youngest one doesn't even wear those.

 

They only wear clothes when we go outside, and even then with much complaint.

 

They are still young; they'll probably grow out of it. I hope.

 

Sent from my HTCD200LVW using Tapatalk

[Carrie12345]

I've been asked what program I use, and I never know how to answer that.

 

I've heard about this "real world" thing that I can only assume invloves a cubicle and water cooler gossip.

 

I've been asked how I could know what to teach my kids, so maybe not everyone knows how the internet (or Amazon) works.

[busymama7]

My mom told me I should send my dd to school because it would cure her speech problems. Because she'd have people to talk to. Sigh.

I don't think it's always the answer but I do think it was for one of mine. He was 3 3/4 and only had 12 words, only a couple that were understandable to anyone outside the family. We finally sent him to the developmental pre school with early intervention because we are totally at a loss as to what else to do. (Someone close to us actually had the nerve to tell us we had to make him speak. As if that was possible 😡) Within a few weeks he was speaking clearly in full sentences. If I hadn't witnessed it I wouldn't have believed it. I will never know if it was a coincidence but I don't think it was. He did actually need to be around others and communicate with them. Plus he had daily speech therapy. He only went for 4 months and then had speech only once a week the next school year. I already had two children with dyslexia and I knew it could be linked. I wanted to get a jump on remediation for phonemic issues. He has had slightly less of a challenge learning to read although it is still a long slow process.

Edited October 9, 2016 by busymama7

[ktgrok]

I don't think it's always the answer but I do think it was for one of mine. He was 3 3/4 and only had 12 words, only a couple that were understandable to anyone outside the family. We finally sent him to the developmental pre school with early intervention because we are totally at a loss as to what else to do. (Someone close to us actually had the nerve to tell us we had to make him speak. As if that was possible 😡) Within a few weeks he was speaking clearly in full sentences. If I hadn't witnessed it I wouldn't have believed it. I will never know if it was a coincidence but I don't think it was. He did actually need to be around others and communicate with them. Plus he had daily speech therapy. He only went for 4 months and then had speech only once a week the next school year. I already had two children with dyslexia and I knew it could be linked. I wanted to get a jump on remediation for phonemic issues. He has had slightly less of a challenge learning to read although it is still a long slow process.

 

Yes, but mine has a lisp and drops ending consonants. She has words, they just aren't clear. Talking a lot won't fix it, therapy is needed. My mom thought we could skip therapy, and just have her in a regular kindergarten and that would fix it. 

 

I actually mentioned the theory to the speech therapist who did her initial evaluation, and she laughed. She said no, homeschooling was perfect because we could move forward without her speech slowing her down, and that in public school she'd be made fun of, and probably stop trying and stop speaking :(

[maize]

Yeah, having people to talk to does not help a kid who struggles to form speech sounds.

 

A couple of my kids with speech disorders are real chatterboxes. Talking a lot does nothing at all to fix pronunciation.

[busymama7]

Yes, but mine has a lisp and drops ending consonants. She has words, they just aren't clear. Talking a lot won't fix it, therapy is needed. My mom thought we could skip therapy, and just have her in a regular kindergarten and that would fix it.

 

I actually mentioned the theory to the speech therapist who did her initial evaluation, and she laughed. She said no, homeschooling was perfect because we could move forward without her speech slowing her down, and that in public school she'd be made fun of, and probably stop trying and stop speaking :(

That's great that she was so supportive! We absolutely loved our speech therapist at our local PS. She was so good and really cared about helping my son. He had both lack of speech and pronunciation issues. She helped with both.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I was able to homeschool and still utilize the speech therapist at the local public school.  I'm sure that varies depending on the state though. 

[Noreen Claire]

I was able to homeschool and still utilize the speech therapist at the local public school.  I'm sure that varies depending on the state though. 

 

We are in MA and we see the public school speech therapist even though my kids are home. 

[ktgrok]

I was able to homeschool and still utilize the speech therapist at the local public school.  I'm sure that varies depending on the state though. 

 

yes, we can too. But my mom was saying instead of doing the therapy, put her in school and that will fix it all. 

 

She's had therapy off an on, as she qualifies. Sometimes she does, authorities she doesn't, as she's only about 6 months behind. 

[bethben]

I guess I sometimes make "judgements", not in a good/bad way but in a "does this person seem like a person I would click with?" I admit, I do not always approach women who seem really well-put together, trend followers or whatever. Maybe I'' more intimidated by them than by people who look like I look- jeans/t-shirts. But it is an initial reaction- and I do try to move past that. Sometimes after only a couple conversations I really do connect with them.

When we moved to our new location, I was desperate to connect with other homeschoolers. I met someone in a buffet line whose outfit screamed homeschooler (very Dugger). Yes they had a group that met at their church and no, they didn't think I would be interested. I was dressed conservatively but my jean skirt was just above my knees and I had tall boots on---my hair was also cut in the past 10 years. So, it goes both ways about dress. And yes, I was annoyed.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[TravelingChris]

When we moved to our new location, I was desperate to connect with other homeschoolers. I met someone in a buffet line whose outfit screamed homeschooler (very Dugger). Yes they had a group that met at their church and no, they didn't think I would be interested. I was dressed conservatively but my jean skirt was just above my knees and I had tall boots on---my hair was also cut in the past 10 years. So, it goes both ways about dress. And yes, I was annoyed.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

I bet you really wouldn't have been interested if they were actually Gothard followers.

[Catherine]

I know a lot of homeschool people don't like this idea, and I think there are some cause and effect questions as well, but I do actually think there is some truth to this idea.

 

If you look at countries with really good public education, one of the things that gets taken for granted is that almost everyone will be using public schools, and that widespread homeschooling and use of private education won't happen.  I think that creates a significant amount of political will including in segments of society that have a fair bit of economic and political power.  A country where a substantial number of people in politics and the upper middle class are using private schools, and middle class people are homeschooling, will tend to look different than one where most of those people expect their kids to have a public school education.

 

Now - part of this is that there is an effect whereby a poor ps system that seems impossible to fix means more people will feel that they have to find some other option. So that option of action on a large scale has to be part of the picture, and I think for many, they just don't see that as a possibility in many of the English-speaking countries.

 

I think there is absolutely some truth to the idea.  When my youngest started brick and mortar high school last year, in a charter school that has turned out well for him, I was flabbergasted at some of the stories I heard from other parents about the middle schools their kids had attended.  It just amazed me that these parents did not agitate more for improvements, because I certainly would have.  Honestly, and my own parents were just like this, poorer people just don't believe they are allowed to ask for more, for "perks" that middle class parents would most definitely expect and agitate for.  

[shawthorne44]

I never understand the idea the parents can make real improvements to a school.   An analogy is when my father had 'musical managers'.  The company culture was making a radical change(s) and his manager was replaced about every 1.5 years.  Dad did his work but what each manager thought was really immaterial.   If, for some reason, one manager insisted on a change in procedure, he'd do it, sortof.   But, he knew that the manager would be gone soon and things would naturally revert.   School Admin knows that parents come and parents go.   Once this current set of parents no longer have kids at that school, they won't care.  So, the very most they will do is give lip-service, and go on with what they want to do.  

 

[73349]

For real, if I couldn't fix schools working for them full-time, I'm not going to get it done as the parent of That Kid.

 

The only person who has made a negative comment along those lines (about my duty to the ps) has recently had to withdraw his  child with special needs, whom the school ultimately could not serve sufficiently, and they are now homeschooling that child. Generally people are slightly clueless (about the source of curriculum, for example) but not negative.

[Slojo]

I think the foreign language is a very valid concern - unless the parent is fluent in another language. It was by far the most difficult subject for me to homeschool, and I did not manage to teach my kids a foreign language (other than the family heritage language) to fluency.

Since ideally language education should begin in the elementary grades, I don't think it is ridiculous to think about it at age five.

. Sure. But it should be really noted that the typical HS doesn't teach kids foreign language anywhere near to fluency. Not saying there are no challenges, but, umm, yeah...

[mom of 2 boys]

We just started homeschooling and our pediatrician offered to "help with our education plan" - I certainly didn't expect to hear that from our kids doctor, of all people! I do love our pediatrician, and I think that she sincerely meant well, but it was pretty silly. If she brings it up again, maybe I'll ask her to give an educational tour of the office, since she wants to help so much  :laugh: