Getting on waiting list for charter school (JAWM?)

[pinkmint]

So if you've been following what I've posted about, here is an update. 

 

I spoke to someone at the office of the charter school when I inquired about the enrollment process. I was told we will get put on a waiting list and that there are already a lot of kids on the waiting list. I was hoping for something more concerete than that. So now we are going to be in suspense. Our other options are trying to get a scholarship for private schooling, and it looks like they cover half of tuition at most (which is still too much for us to pay), plus the deadline to apply has passed. 

 

Someone is going to suggest the regular local public school, but if you knew how bad it was, you wouldn't. The local elementary school we are assigned to has informational statements on the school district website about trying to improve their obvious issues with student emotional and behavioral problems, poverty, home instability and extremely low acedeminc interest and preformance. 

 

So my options are the absolute bottom of the barrel public school, private schools that we can in no way even begin to afford even with financial aid, or get in a long line of kids trying to get into the free local charter school. 

 

All the while I believe homeschooling to be best, but struggling with both a level of depression and an urgent need to improve our financial situation that makes our ability to homeschool pretty disgraceful right now. 

 

Christian content now... when God allows you to be in a situation that you would not choose and feel you have no ability to handle, will he somehow give you what it takes? Because I do not have what it takes to do this. 

Edited July 25, 2016 by pinkmint

[happi duck]

(hugs)

[SparklyUnicorn]

I hear you with craptastic schools.  The schools here are scary bad. 

 

We don't have charter schools in the district.  I know of one charter high school that will take kids from any district but it first requires a recommendation from a guidance counselor (obviously not likely to happen if the kid never went to school), and then following that gets into a lottery.  Either you get in or you do not based on having your name drawn randomly. 

 

We have a few magnet schools which are only public schools with a hokey dokey theme (that probably doesn't actually amount to any difference).  Their reputation is not really better, but supposing one wants to get in that too is done on a lottery where either you get in or you do not. 

If you miss the lottery deadlines or you didn't get picked, but still are interested, you get on a waiting list. 

[maize]

Pinkmint, have you spoken to a dr. about your depression?

 

I know your circumstances are incredibly hard, and the depression you are experiencing may have been triggered by that. But once depressive symptoms have been triggered in the brain there are biological processes underway that may require medical help to break out of. The last thing you need is to be fighting clinical depression on top of everything else.

 

I'm praying for you guys.

[busymama7]

Are there any at home charter programs like k-12 available? You would be off the hook more but the kids would stil be home which might not work if you need to work. I'm sorry this is such a difficult place to be. Is there school choice/zone variance available? Might require a drive but something to look at.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

I agree, maybe an at home charter?  What about the free resources for math such as Khan Academy or Prodigy?

 

And you might actually get a kid or two into the school with the wait list.  Sometime parents go ahead and put their kids somewhere else and slots open up unexpectedly.  

 

I agree with Maize, if you can get treated for your depression that might help significantly with everything.  I realize that is easier said than done, though.

 

Your kids are very young.  If you cannot get the older two into school, unschool for this year.  Don't panic over whether they are actually learning.  If you can get them audio books and documentaries from the library, maybe focus on house maintenance skills and how to care for younger siblings, take trips to the park, play mathy games with measuring cups and pennies, etc. that will be enough for now.

 

Is there a church nearby with a cheap Mom's day out program for your littlest?  Have you looked at homeschooling groups in your area that might be able to offer some support?

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[shinyhappypeople]

Seconding the encouragement to see a doctor about your depression.  Address that first.

 

Can you afford a mother's helper or housekeeper?  Someone to help pick up the slack so it's not all on your shoulders?  When my kids were younger, I dropped them off at my mom's house one full day a week.  It helped A LOT just to have the mental space and some rest.  Is it possible to work something like that into your schedule?  Are there any friends who understand a bit what you're going through who would welcome your kiddos a couple of afternoons a week? 

 

If you do the absolute minimum for homeschooling (reading & math with the 7 yo, phonics and a bit of handwriting with the 5 yo) you could be done in about an hour. 

[catz]

Are there any at home charter programs like k-12 available? You would be off the hook more but the kids would stil be home which might not work if you need to work. I'm sorry this is such a difficult place to be. Is there school choice/zone variance available? Might require a drive but something to look at.

 

I wouldn't recommend online charter if you are in a difficult place emotionally.  The families I know who tried it with younger kids almost unanimously felt it was more work than just homeschooling on their own.  Tons of paper work and hoop jumping and you had to be at it so many hours a day.  Parents need to be VERY involved. I think a 5 and 7 year old could be absolutely fine with a few workbooks and an enriched, hands on environment.

 

I kind of remember you posting about this before.  You can't drive to another district?  We have the option to open enroll into other districts here and many people do just that.  I will also say, I know families who have their kids in crappy urban schools and are involved, engaged parents and their kids are doing great.  I actually have one friend who found the teachers at those schools were more willing to engage and accelerate ahead kids than some of the more difficult to get into schools.

 

Gently, as someone who struggled with depression and anxiety, just drop it totally if you need to.  Focus on healing you (connecting with appropriate docs and therapists) and connecting with your kids.  It really would be ok.  You kids are very little.  You could make a decision to do absolutely nothing through the holidays and re-evaluate.  Everything is 100X harder with a cloud of depression over you.

 

And who knows, you may get called off the waiting list.  Sometimes spots open up mid year. 

Edited July 25, 2016 by WoolySocks

[Farrar]

"Bottom of the barrel" can be okay in the short term when you need to heal yourself and your situation first. Kids are resilient.

[MistyMountain]

Does your area do zone exemptions? Here you can apply to any school in the district and if they have space the principal can approve you. They have a list they follow but they are not as full as the popular charter schools and you usually can get into a better school.

Edited July 25, 2016 by MistyMountain

[FriedClams]

I think there are times when you really need to prioritize. For us, it would be spiritual health, physical/mental health, family relationships, financial health, then somewhere later on the list would be educational health.

 

It sounds like you need to make hard choices. A bad public school with healthy parents might not be the worst thing. Really. Homeschooling with a not well, miserable mom - that sounds awful. If you can't afford the private school, then you can't. The wait list is good, but it may not pan out.

 

I would, like others have suggested, get to the root of all you can. Get medical help for the depression. Medicate if necessary some people don't want to (but if it's the life jacket you need - use it!).

 

Also, in terms of income, is there anything that could help your kid's get into the private or charter school? Are there any jobs open? Cafeteria help? After hours cleaning? Volunteer work you could do like carpool monitor? Library help? Coaching something you love? Tutoring? //Anything// that would help jump the line? I'd think outside the box as much as possible and then sit down with the respective administrations and ask what might be available. Bring a list of what your good at -- include everything. I pray out goes well and you find a balance with a job and a good school option.

[DawnM]

My 7th grader is #3 on the wait list and we still haven't heard if he is getting in.  And he has sibling preference since his brother went last year.

 

My oldest was 11th on a waitlist for another charter for 3rd grade years ago and never got in.

 

Don't hold your breath on the charter is all I am saying.

 

You may have to HS or do crappy PS for this year.

 

I am sorry you are struggling.

 

 

[EmseB]

If you do the absolute minimum for homeschooling (reading & math with the 7 yo, phonics and a bit of handwriting with the 5 yo) you could be done in about an hour.

Yes. The problem of course becomes the other hours of awake time that need to be filled so that everyone does not go all Lord of the Flies. We remedied some of that by living meal to meal -- breakfast, lunch, and dinner always happened and really helped with structure of our days when I was too sick to do school beyond the basics. Naps or rest for EVERYONE after lunch. At least one TV show per day. It wasn't my ideal, but I had to let go because I physically couldn't do much else. Pinkmint, don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself. You don't have to be the fun mom, the energetic mom, the crafty mom, the wealthy mom, the has it all together mom. That last one? Doesn't exist.

 

From my perspective on the CC question, God has given me more than I could handle on different occassions in my life. The last season was quite recent. We were facing the worst, and someone told me, "If [the worst] happens, you can still have a good life. You can." That little nugget sustained me through a lot. I tell you what, though, contemplating that made me crave reading the Bible like I never had before. Especially Romans 8, over and over. I needed to see it over and over again because I kept losing it.

 

Please seek help for your depression. Tell your husband you need help.

[TranquilMind]

So if you've been following what I've posted about, here is an update. 

 

I spoke to someone at the office of the charter school when I inquired about the enrollment process. I was told we will get put on a waiting list and that there are already a lot of kids on the waiting list. I was hoping for something more concerete than that. So now we are going to be in suspense. Our other options are trying to get a scholarship for private schooling, and it looks like they cover half of tuition at most (which is still too much for us to pay), plus the deadline to apply has passed. 

 

Someone is going to suggest the regular local public school, but if you knew how bad it was, you wouldn't. The local elementary school we are assigned to has informational statements on the school district website about trying to improve their obvious issues with student emotional and behavioral problems, poverty, home instability and extremely low acedeminc interest and preformance. 

 

So my options are the absolute bottom of the barrel public school, private schools that we can in no way even begin to afford even with financial aid, or get in a long line of kids trying to get into the free local charter school. 

 

All the while I believe homeschooling to be best, but struggling with both a level of depression and an urgent need to improve our financial situation that makes our ability to homeschool pretty disgraceful right now. 

 

Christian content now... when God allows you to be in a situation that you would not choose and feel you have no ability to handle, will he somehow give you what it takes? Because I do not have what it takes to do this. 

I don't know when you did this of course, but the year we tried a charter, we applied in April.  Huge waiting lists grow closer to the date of matriculation.

 

I never have what it takes to do what God wants me to do, believe me.  I know I'm an utter failure and my frame is dust, as He says.  But somehow He always makes it come through ok, sooner or later.  I'm just not patient. 

[mommyoffive]

What if you put them in school for a few months to get back on your feet?

 

Maybe you would feel better by then.  Maybe you would be able to get some job or something in that time?   Could you work at the school they would go to?   Kind of keep an eye on them?

 

I think there are studies about kids turning out fine in bad schools.  What if it was half a year or a year?  I don't think it would be so damaging in that short of time.

[Caroline]

What if you put them in school for a few months to get back on your feet?

 

Maybe you would feel better by then.  Maybe you would be able to get some job or something in that time?   Could you work at the school they would go to?   Kind of keep an eye on them?

 

I think there are studies about kids turning out fine in bad schools.  What if it was half a year or a year?  I don't think it would be so damaging in that short of time.

 

Another thing would be they could get free breakfast and lunch, if you qualify. (And I think the income level to qualify is much higher than most people think.) That would be true at the charter school, too. 

[mommyoffive]

Another thing would be they could get free breakfast and lunch, if you qualify. (And I think the income level to qualify is much higher than most people think.) That would be true at the charter school, too. 

 

Good point.  Great money savings and just a break for you too.

[pinkmint]

Thanks, everyone. 

 

About the depression. I know it is a major issue. I have to admit though it seems only expected to be depressed given the circumstances. But I also know being depressed can lead to inability to thrive in or improve one's circumstances. I also have to admit that the idea of medication right now doesn't leave me very hopeful. Is my thinking distorted though? I don't know. 

 

Depression is nothing new for me. I have not had an easy life. I have spent several years as an adult on different antidepressants. Different SSRIs as well as Wellbutrin. My experience is that they take away some problems (depression) and trade them for a load of other problems (side effects). Side effects are no small thing, in my experience. Should I put up with the siude effects? I don't know. I guess I have to consider that. 

 

Anyhow, the idea of doing unschool or minimal school for a while until things improve does encourage me. But I also happen to be paranoid about CPS or other entities that may crack down on me for educational neglect. What Jodiesue said is a big concern too in terms of Lord of the Flies (or Lord of the Couch Potatoes) happening with kids who are just plain here all day and need to be occupied in a way that I am not able to be in charge of. 

 

Going to a public school in a different district is something I will look into. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I wonder if those who are saying that very bad schools can be OK for awhile actually live in failing, dangerous school districts and have enrolled their own children. In other words, this is the type of thing that can be easy to say when it's about somebody else's child...

 

But if it's likely to be a scenario where they'll almost immediately have to be pulled out for their own safety and well-being, that's a lot of stress and (potentially) trauma for the children (and their parents) for no result.

 

I don't know if the OP's schools are that bad, but in my area we do have schools that are that bad, and I trust parents to be able to evaluate that. The majority of schools are safe places, even if there could be quibbling over whether the academics are effective and appropriate, but some schools are not safe.

 

If that's what the family believe the situation to be, then I would not waste time with the ps if I thought I was going to feel compelled to back right out. Better to pursue help for depression and coping, make sure you're taking all available resources and help, and then consider how to bridge the gap toward private school if it's still needed.

 

Whatever happens I'm in your corner, Pinkmint, and I believe you can get through these times. I agree with Wooly Socks that you have some time to figure it out; your kids are still little.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I hope the school in another district works, Pinkmint. We had nothing like that locally until halfway through my older boys' high school years (and then they only accepted kindergartners and 9th graders)! But I know some places are better about allowing transfer students.

[pinkmint]

 

 

I think there are studies about kids turning out fine in bad schools.  What if it was half a year or a year?  I don't think it would be so damaging in that short of time.

 

I don't know. Honestly these local public schools are not an option to me. The district website said 64% of the students are considered "at risk" which is a general term to describe, among other things, kids who don't even learn to read and who drop out, get pregnant, get incarcerated etc. I see the way the kids act when I go to the playground. It is disturbing. 

[pinkmint]

N/M responding out of frustration.  

 

Edited July 25, 2016 by pinkmint

[NorthwestMom]

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[mommyoffive]

I don't know. Honestly these local public schools are not an option to me. The district website said 64% of the students are considered "at risk" which is a general term to describe, among other things, kids who don't even learn to read and who drop out, get pregnant, get incarcerated etc. I see the way the kids act when I go to the playground. It is disturbing. 

 

I get you.

 

In my mind there are 2 different bad schools.  Our local schools are not bad, but then the kids don't preform well on tests either, so then they look bad in my mind.  

when I say they are not bad, i mean they are not dangerous

 

Then there are the schools where they are bad schools that maybe yours is.  It sounds as if you feel it is that way.  I would never probably want to put my kid in that school.  

It was hard to know which one you were talking about.

 

Given that you think it is the second, it is so hard to know what I would do.  

 

I am sorry you are in this spot.

[Guest]

Do you own or rent? Can you move to a better district? The Midwest is pretty low COL.

[East Coast Sue]

First and most importantly, hugs. I get it and feel your pain.

 

Is an online charter available? Not sure what else is an option but I'll pray the waiting list moves quickly for the charter school.

[barnwife]

Oh, what a tough situation you are in.

I agree that looking into help for depression should be a priority.

Then, I think you need a survival schooling plan. Though I think bad schools can be fine for short (or even long-term) for individual students, it doesn't sound as though you think you are truly being led there.

If you'd like to know what my survivalish school year is looking to shape up like (we have a 6, 4, and almost 3 yo, with another expected at the end of the year), LMK. 

Good luck finding an option that gets you all to a less stressful place.
 

[Farrar]

I wonder if those who are saying that very bad schools can be OK for awhile actually live in failing, dangerous school districts and have enrolled their own children. In other words, this is the type of thing that can be easy to say when it's about somebody else's child...

 

I haven't enrolled my kids because I've been lucky and haven't been in this situation, but I've been in our local schools where my kids would go. They're pretty rotten. Our high school has a 30% graduation rate (or did previously, we are now zoned for a new one). There are gang and drug problems at every level. There are people smoking pot on the elementary playground.

 

But I still - especially for those ages - would say that enrolling my kids in our local public school would be preferable to having them home and not knowing how to manage them and feeling myself getting mired further and further in financial problems and depression. While there are a lot of problems at the school, most of the teachers are kind and trying their best. The kids at that age are little and mostly still pretty sweet. A year of that if I could use it to help turn myself around if I was in that situation would be, IMHO, worth it to try. If a child was bullied or the situation became untenable in terms of their happiness and well-being, you could always pull them. But not getting much of an education, seeing less than desirable behavior from some of the kids, being exposed to cruddy bureaucracy and dumb rules, etc. wouldn't kill their souls for a short term thing.

[eternalsummer]

That sucks about the charter school - probably a lot of people in situations similar to yours, hoping to get their kids into a better school.

 

Are there other charters available across your district?  Are you in the Dallas IPD?  I see that they have some schools you can choice into.

 

If that is not an option or it is too late to get in for this year, I'd seriously consider looking for an apartment, the cheapest thing you can find, in a better district.

 

I don't know about Dallas, but when I lived in KC (where the urban core schools are very very bad), apartments out in the suburbs could be found for the same rent as a house in the city, sometimes.  You have to look around, and you definitely have to be willing to downgrade in terms of yard space, closeness of neighbors, square footage, etc., but the schools are so much better that it is what I would do in a heartbeat.  In KC there are sort of two rings of suburbs, and while you can find affordable housing even in the outer (better) ring, the inner ring would likely have schools you could tolerate and would be pretty easy to find cheap housing in.

 

I don't know if Dallas is like this in terms of housing but it is worth a try.

[lewber]

I am sorry you are in this situation!  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[FriedClams]

Another thought... Do you have a relative on a better district you could live with for a semester?

[pinkmint]

Thanks for the virtual hugs. 

 

I really really wish we could move. We are stuck here for the time being because the rent is so low, and this general area has been an extremely "hot" market where rents are basically doubling everywhere... except for the ghetto areas, like our area, where no one wants to live, for good reason. We can't afford even a one bedroom apartment in a questionable area (couldn't do that legally with our family size anyway). The reason our rent hasn't gone up is because the place is in a bad area and in poor condition. I wish there was something to "downgrade". 

 

 

[pinkmint]

Another thought... Do you have a relative on a better district you could live with for a semester?

 

No we don't. Nearest relative is several states away. Dad's wife is dealing with cancer, my mom lives in low-income senior housing apartment. There are no good options with that. I really wish there was. 

[eternalsummer]

have you applied for rent assistance?  I know the waiting lists can be ridiculously long (in the suburb of KC I lived in it was years) but it might give you a light at the end of the tunnel, at least.

[catz]

I haven't enrolled my kids because I've been lucky and haven't been in this situation, but I've been in our local schools where my kids would go. They're pretty rotten. Our high school has a 30% graduation rate (or did previously, we are now zoned for a new one). There are gang and drug problems at every level. There are people smoking pot on the elementary playground.

 

But I still - especially for those ages - would say that enrolling my kids in our local public school would be preferable to having them home and not knowing how to manage them and feeling myself getting mired further and further in financial problems and depression. While there are a lot of problems at the school, most of the teachers are kind and trying their best. The kids at that age are little and mostly still pretty sweet. A year of that if I could use it to help turn myself around if I was in that situation would be, IMHO, worth it to try. If a child was bullied or the situation became untenable in terms of their happiness and well-being, you could always pull them. But not getting much of an education, seeing less than desirable behavior from some of the kids, being exposed to cruddy bureaucracy and dumb rules, etc. wouldn't kill their souls for a short term thing.

I agree with this. I am in an urban district with plenty of issues. The k-5 schools have plenty of issues, but don't lean violent scary. The middle and high schools are another matter entirely and for For that matter, I would never send my child to in district middle school. Things differentiate in the bigger high schools enough that I'd worry less in high school. I did send my kid to k and 1st and it was fine. My kid didn't learn anything his 2nd year which is what led to homeschooling for us. Yes there were behavioral issues but the teachers were sincere and trying and there were some engaged families to connect with.

 

Anyway, I know that's an aside.

[TXBeth]

A previous poster mentioned you might be in DFW. If that is true have you looked at Newman International Academy? They are opening new campuses this year, so there is a good chance to get in if one of them is near you.

[Jan in SC]

If you haven't (I can't remember) visited the school, please do so. Even in the worst school districts, elementary schools are usually safe. They try hard to keep the local environment out of the school.

 

Also- don't go by what privates schools have on their websites, or say when you call. Go visit and then let them want your kids. Tell them what you need and why. They have deep pockets. (If this is the direction you choose.)

[lewber]

What a tough situation. 

 

It is hard to know just how bad your schools are, but I am also of the mind to put your kids on the charter waiting list and enroll them in public school. Hopefully you will get in sooner rather than later. Your kids are so young. I understand your hesitancy, and especially for middle or high school. But in kindergarten and 2nd grade, I hope it could be a good experience for them. It will give them the basics and it will give you some rest. 

 

And maybe for next school year, the charter will come through.

 

Can you visit the school and talk to the principal. Maybe it will alleviate some of your concerns. 

[heartlikealion]

I know that sometimes it's still inconvenient to switch districts even with permission (we looked into it. I would have to provide transportation 30 min. away which is really 4 trips a day since I wouldn't be staying there with ds. Oh and I'd have to pay tuition! I don't know if that would be your case, though).

 

Based on what I've read in other threads, I'm willing to bet paying a mother's helper or even the co-pay and possibly a sitter to get to a therapist and/or dr would be tough right now. But yes, if there's a way to make it work that sounds like a high priority.

 

Do you have curriculum or resources already for homeschooling this coming year? Would links to free or affordable things help at all? Maybe we could at least help there.

 

Are you still looking for a new rental? I remember another thread where the carpet/allergies was a big concern.

ETA: Oh just saw your comments about prices jumping around you.

Edited July 25, 2016 by heartlikealion

[lewber]

I'm very sorry you have no family safety net at all. :grouphug:

 

Have you thought about moving completely out of your area? To a lower COL area? I know jobs are hard to find. but I live in a low COL area with mostly safe schools and what seems like help for those who want it. Perhaps even a temporary homeless shelter that takes kids while your husband finds a job. Once in the public school system, your kids would get free breakfasts and lunches. I can't imagine the bravery it takes to pack up and move completely without a job, but if you can look past all of that far enough into your future, maybe your current area isn't ever going to work for you? 

 

I know you've probably been through all of these options we are throwing out there and have found they can't/won't work for you. I get that and I'm sorry that there just isn't an easier solution for you! 

[Petrichor]

If the elementary schools are safe, you may very well get your kids in to the charter school in a few years or even months. Or maybe by then you will be able to move. You never know. I hope you did/do get them on the waiting list at the charter. Did you speak with the private school? Maybe they have/know of additional ways to help you fund sending your kids there? Scholarships from outside sources?

 

Not Christian, I'm Muslim, and I believe that God knows what is best for us. He never puts us in a situation that we can't handle, even though we might feel like we can't handle it for a few moments. If He puts us in a situation, He has a good reason for that. Could be to test your faith in Him, could be to make you stronger, could be to earn reward/cleanse you of your sins. Could be to open up other doors for you, or for some other reason that you can't understand. For every hardship, there is ease. I believe that for every difficult moment that rains down on you, there is a full blown blessing that comes your way. Sometimes, God just wants us to ask Him for help. To surrender to Him and His will. Sometimes He uses hardship as a way to get our attention. 

 

[TravelingChris]

I'll agree with others that you need to have your depression addressed.  As to the public school area being 65% risk kids, that refers to being on the free lunch program.  I used to volunteer tutor in such an elementary school (except the percentage of kids on free or reduced price lunch was probably closer to 100%).  The school was well run for the most part and the children were acting normally.  The parents weren't always the best but that didn't mean the kids were bad.  One girl I tutored had what was probably a prostitute drug addicted mother.  She was still a smart, well behaved child.  Elementary schools, especially at the grades your children would be in, are generally safe.  Of course, stay on the charter school list and look for other options.  But the local public school may still be a choice.

[Farrar]

I agree with this. I am in an urban district with plenty of issues. The k-5 schools have plenty of issues, but don't lean violent scary. The middle and high schools are another matter entirely and for For that matter, I would never send my child to in district middle school. Things differentiate in the bigger high schools enough that I'd worry less in high school. I did send my kid to k and 1st and it was fine. My kid didn't learn anything his 2nd year which is what led to homeschooling for us. Yes there were behavioral issues but the teachers were sincere and trying and there were some engaged families to connect with.

 

Anyway, I know that's an aside.

 

Yes, exactly. Part of the reason I feel like I can say, it's worth the risk is because Pinkmint's kids are so young. If they were older, it would be such a different ballgame. For one thing, they'd be more independent. And for another, the scary things in the schools would be scarier and more potentially damaging.

[knoxinsox]

I thought of you this afternoon.  I met my new next-door neighbor, who will be teaching in your ISD (I think its the same one).  She is not super excited about commuting, and she couldn't afford any housing up there on a single mom teacher salary, but she is very excited to teach there.  

[EmilyGF]

I'm going to second (third? fourth?) Farrar and say that a low-income school with low test scores may be fine. I visited our neighborhood K-6 school, with a poverty rate of 93%, and found a lovely kindergarten classroom with hatching chicks, butterfly cocoons, and a beautiful garden. There was an imaginative play corner. A fifth-grader held the door for me. The school was very nurturing and sweet despite the income. I felt like my kids would have been safe there and challenged in their ability to understand different people than themselves.

 

An education professor put things into perspective for me: a low-income school with poor test scores may reflect a whole heck of a lot more teaching than a wealthy school with high test scores and parents shelling out $$$ for tutoring and enrichment. 

 

So don't write off the neighborhood school. I considered our neighborhood school while we were going through a family crisis. Ours abated and we still homeschool, but now I know that I would be fine sending my kids there for a period of time if need be.

[nd293]

Regarding school waiting lists - don't give up hope. I can't see the ages of your kids, but often waiting lists vary greatly by year / stage, and you may be offered a place quite quickly for one of the children despite an overall long waiting list. Every school I have ever looked at for my kids also prioritising siblings, so once you have one child in, the remaining children move to the head of the queue for their age. Furthermore, I suspect that schools often exaggerate the waiting list so that they don't have to deal with parents following up every other week on whether there is a place. I would also say that you should make yourself well known to the school - meet with the head, discuss your situation, discuss your children, ask about any steps you should take to prepare them for entry. I believe that making yourself memorable (in a good way) can help if there is any wiggle room in the waiting list.

[vonfirmath]

Another thing would be they could get free breakfast and lunch, if you qualify. (And I think the income level to qualify is much higher than most people think.) That would be true at the charter school, too. 

 

MUCH higher. My kids can eat for 45 cents at lunch at public schools and I am bringing home more than what you indicate your husband is.  Our school has free breakfast for everyone in the school due to the number of kids on free or reduced lunch in the school.

[mamiof5]

Hugs and prayers your way!!

 

What is tying you to where you are? I was wondering earlier today...what about totally relocating?

 

I have no idea about your dh's income, cost of living etc. But, would this be an option? Go to a different state (some don't have as high cost of living as others). Would it be worth to take the risk and start brand new in a total different place?

 

I have no idea how feasible this is. Just hoping for a better life for you. Not necessarily luxury, but safety. A neighborhood where you can go out for a walk and don't have to worry about safety. And, yes, it would be tough to move, but in the long run it could be helpful and even help with your depression?

 

I really, really hope something works out!!

[Alessandra]

I'm going to second (third? fourth?) Farrar and say that a low-income school with low test scores may be fine. I visited our neighborhood K-6 school, with a poverty rate of 93%, and found a lovely kindergarten classroom with hatching chicks, butterfly cocoons, and a beautiful garden. There was an imaginative play corner. A fifth-grader held the door for me. The school was very nurturing and sweet despite the income. I felt like my kids would have been safe there and challenged in their ability to understand different people than themselves.

 

An education professor put things into perspective for me: a low-income school with poor test scores may reflect a whole heck of a lot more teaching than a wealthy school with high test scores and parents shelling out $$$ for tutoring and enrichment.

 

So don't write off the neighborhood school. I considered our neighborhood school while we were going through a family crisis. Ours abated and we still homeschool, but now I know that I would be fine sending my kids there for a period of time if need be.

I'll echo this. A 'bad' school can be one whose kids don't perform well on standardized tests. And test scores can be a reflection of income level. 'At risk' can mean low income.

 

I know families in the 'worst' district for miles around, and they love their schools. Being in a school with 'at risk' students can mean that your kids are in the majority if they get free/reduced lunch. It can mean that there is federal funding for extra programs and services.

 

So my advice would be to visit the local school before you write it off.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I wouldn't recommend online charter if you are in a difficult place emotionally.  The families I know who tried it with younger kids almost unanimously felt it was more work than just homeschooling on their own.  Tons of paper work and hoop jumping and you had to be at it so many hours a day.  Parents need to be VERY involved. I think a 5 and 7 year old could be absolutely fine with a few workbooks and an enriched, hands on environment.

 

I kind of remember you posting about this before.  You can't drive to another district?  We have the option to open enroll into other districts here and many people do just that.  I will also say, I know families who have their kids in crappy urban schools and are involved, engaged parents and their kids are doing great.  I actually have one friend who found the teachers at those schools were more willing to engage and accelerate ahead kids than some of the more difficult to get into schools.

 

Gently, as someone who struggled with depression and anxiety, just drop it totally if you need to.  Focus on healing you (connecting with appropriate docs and therapists) and connecting with your kids.  It really would be ok.  You kids are very little.  You could make a decision to do absolutely nothing through the holidays and re-evaluate.  Everything is 100X harder with a cloud of depression over you.

 

And who knows, you may get called off the waiting list.  Sometimes spots open up mid year. 

 

 

The cost to put your child in a better public school is a lot less than private school.  But I know not all areas allow that.  Ours does, and I know the cost is around $2500.  

 

Maybe that could be an option. My other thought is put your kids in the public school and stay on the waiting list for the charter.  Maybe next year they could get in.  One year in the local public school will be ok.  

 

:grouphug: