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Lies People Told Me


fairfarmhand
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seriously, what crackhead told you that?!

I think I got one of the first versions of What to Expect When You Are Expecting. In it were a few articles about how wonderful natural childbirth is. There was even a story by a woman who claimed to have an orgasm while giving birth. I always wondered if she told her child that story. I'm pretty sure she must have been medicated.

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30 year mortgages make sense in a 21st century economy.

 

Renting is always a waste of money.  Buying a house is always a good investment.

 

Always choose a major based on your passion not on potential earnings. Any investment in any college degree is a good idea. Everyone should go college.

 

Homeschooling is always the best option for all parents who aren't abusive and/or neglectful.

 

There are guarantees in life.  If you ______________ then you can be sure ___________________ will result from it.

 

You have plenty of time to _________________.

Don't worry about your biological clock.  There will always be plenty of children readily available to easily adopt when you want to be a parent. 

RAD is rare. Adoption is just like having a bio child with a surrogate. 

From movies: When the pain is horrific [like my complete placental abruption] you pass out.  If only.

Homebirth is dangerous.  You can't birth naturally if you're very small and the baby is very big.  You can't exclusively breastfeed a child until 1 year old or they'll starve.

Adultery and abandonment are the only valid reasons for divorce

 

 

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I think I got one of the first versions of What to Expect When You Are Expecting. In it were a few articles about how wonderful natural childbirth is. There was even a story by a woman who claimed to have an orgasm while giving birth. I always wondered if she told her child that story. I'm pretty sure she must have been medicated.

 

This is insane.

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"He's just a late bloomer." <---said for years about my intellectually disabled child, which, in response, caused me to delay evaluations and lose precious remediation/therapy time. Should've gone with my mama instincts that told me something just wasn't right.

Edited by Kinsa
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"He's just a late bloomer." <---said for years about my intellectually disabled child, which, in response, caused me to delay evaluations and lose precious remediation/therapy time. Should've gone with my mama instincts that told me something just wasn't right.

This. I know people mean to be reassuring, but it would be so much better, when one hears a concerned parent, to say "Why not get an evaluation and know for sure?" Rather than "That's totally normal./ I was just like that as a child./ Mothers today medicalize normal behavior./ Better late than early." Did you get to hear the made-up Einstein thing a hundred times?

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This. I know people mean to be reassuring, but it would be so much better, when one hears a concerned parent, to say "Why not get an evaluation and know for sure?" Rather than "That's totally normal./ I was just like that as a child./ Mothers today medicalize normal behavior./ Better late than early." Did you get to hear the made-up Einstein thing a hundred times?

Oh yes. A thousand times.

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 There was even a story by a woman who claimed to have an orgasm while giving birth. I always wondered if she told her child that story. I'm pretty sure she must have been medicated.

 

I want some of that medication!

 

I was told, it doesn't hurt as bad once you start to push.  I started pushing, then screamed angrily at DH, "It still hurts!!!"

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The anesthesiologist will be here in time, don't worry.

 

Your baby is too young to have food allergies.

 

I've never seen a case of eczema herpeticum, only read about it in school. That's not what your baby has.

 

Just give it another 6 months, her eyes will correct themselves. We saw another pediatric ophthalmologist who told us if we didn't do corrective surgery right away it would be life altering. We did the surgery.

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Going to an elite prep school (or university) means you got a better education than those who went to other schools. 

 

There is nothing wrong with your child. She was 35% behind in all gross motor skills. 2.5 years of PT later she was mostly caught up. Trust the mommy-instinct! 

 

Eating a low fat diet will make your high cholesterol go way down.

 

Edited by ScoutTN
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I just gotta say I had 2 pain free births with hypnobabies. At times I was profoundly uncomfortable, but never in pain. I can share my stories if you want in another thread. As for the lies...

 

I'll be right back. (Never returned).

 

Morning sickness will go away. (It didn't).

 

Miscarriage is normal. (Not 6 of them).

 

I'll never hit you again. (He did. Eventually I left).

 

See you in 5 minutes... (2 hours later).

 

You're going to feel some pressure... (Pressure my arse).

 

If you would just spank them they would ________.

 

If you can't pump you aren't producing enough.

 

Your kids are too attached. They'll never _______.

 

Oh so many more, and I've heard so many of the ones you guys have shared.

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If you're willing to work hard and put in the time, you have no reason to worry about having enough money to make ends meet.

 

God will never give you more than you can handle. (HAHAHAHAHANO)

 

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

Don't focus so much on bookwork when they're so little, spend most of your time playing with them and enjoying them. When they're older they'll be able to catch up in no time.

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I feel like I have to count my blessings because a lot of these things I was told and they turned out completely true for me - especially Hypnobabies!

 

A lie I've been told? "You have to be perfect."

 

That's buried deep within my ethnic culture, so it wasn't explicitly said. But it is implied and expected - STILL, even though I'm about to turn 40. LOL

 

 

 

Another lie: "You HAVE to see [tv show or movie], you'll LOVE it!"

 

No, no. That's an hour of my life, or more, that I'll never get back. (I'm looking at you How I Met Your Mother and Big Bang Theory!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I feel like I've been lied to (unintentionally) by society about how I just need to follow these specific formulas for good parenting and everything will be fine. I'm relieved to come across some materials that admit those formulas don't work either at all or with a huge percentage of children. You know, like Super Nanny's timeouts that match the child's age, the book 123 Magic, you just need to spank them, etc.

 

"My mom did XYZ and I turned out fine!" (says who? lol But seriously, this as an excuse to do certain practices deemed unsafe by medical personnel)

 

I think I've been more bothered by omitted information or lack of available information than lies in my life.

 

"A frenectomy is no big deal! Your baby [probably] won't even need pain relief." It's been described so nonchalantly so many times and while I know their stories are legit, they are not a reflection of our experiences.

Edited by heartlikealion
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Boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses.

 

Don't show them (men) how smart you are; you will never get a date.

 

Weight loss is all about self control.

 

Ma'am, you have a seat over there while I give your husband a great deal on this car (uhh, no buddy!)

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Don't show them (men) how smart you are; you will never get a date.

The lady owner of a strings rental shop that we rent our kid's cello from said that she is worried her bright high school niece would not get a date because she doesn't know how to act dumb. It was really awkward for my hubby because he was telling her it is not true and the lady was still worried.

 

While never get a date is not true, I do have guy high school classmates who said they don't dare to ask any girls with better grades than them for a date.

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and who the heck names an insurance company "state farm"

 

 

Makes me think of animal farm every time I hear it. Four legs good... Two legs baaaaad

 

Or some one of prison camp... Where the clients are milked like dairy cows. Actually maybe that's kinda accurate

Edited by Ausmumof3
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The lady owner of a strings rental shop that we rent our kid's cello from said that she is worried her bright high school niece would not get a date because she doesn't know how to act dumb. It was really awkward for my hubby because he was telling her it is not true and the lady was still worried.

 

While never get a date is not true, I do have guy high school classmates who said they don't dare to ask any girls with better grades than them for a date.

Huh... That must have been my problem ..😂

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Homeschooling = love to learn. Your kids will be champing at the bit to start their day of learning.

 

High schoolers teach themselves. Mine do a significant amount on their own but they don't leap out of bed with joy and there is often threats and yelling.

 

Homeschooling means you never have to deal with teen drama, drugs, bullies. Your teens will be perfect, over achievers, and well behaved.

 

We promise if we get a dog we will walk it and feed it every day.

Edited by kewb
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There's no way you can make it through labor without drugs. If you need to be induced, you'll be begging for the epidural.

 

If you let your babies sleep in your bed, you'll never get them into their own beds, and it will ruin your marriage.

 

Your baby needs to be able to take a bottle so other family members can feed him. (MIL said this to DH when we were making plans to see his family when our oldest was six weeks. No, I wasn't going to pump in another room, just so she could bottle-feed my baby for fun.)

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God made you perfect, but if you have largish b00ks and don't wear a second bra, you are responsible for the sin of all those men in your congregation when they stumble.

 This has to be my favorite! Wouldn't that make them look even larger?

We promise if we get a dog we will walk it and feed it every day.

MomsintheGarden has been hearing this from DD14 for a while now. She doesn't buy it, so we still don't have a dog. (Besides, the cats don't want a dog.)

 

Other popular lies from the children:

 

"No" response lies:

- "Did you hit your sister?"

- "Did you hit your brother?"

- "Did you break the ________?"

- "Did you play video games all day instead of doing your school?"

 

"Yes" response lies:

- "Did you finish your schoolwork?"

- "Did you complete all your chores?"

 

"Not me!"response lies:

- "Who's been peeing in the shower?"

- "Who has been putting the kitchen utensils in the wrong place?"

- "Who broke the ________?"

 

"I don't know?" response lies:

- "Where did you put the ________?"

- When we ask DS18 anything about what he is thinking or doing...

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Breast feeding shouldn't ever hurt. I know someone else had this one too! NOT true. And I've breastfed for 13 years.

 

Autism isn't real, it's a made up diagnosis.

Ditto ADHD.

They'll grow out of it.

He's just a late talker, it isn't that bad.

Just wait and see.

 

If you homeschool and shelter your children you can avoid typical teenage angst.

 

It's the worst when YOU are the one who has told yourself most of the lies....:/.

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If you pray, autism will go away.

 

 

 

 

This one struck a cord.  My son has ASD and I was out to dinner with a group of HS moms and one mom loudly claimed that she was in a Bible study group and asked for prayer for her son and God took away his Asperger's.

 

I talked to her further and found out that the child was never diagnosed with anything, he just misbehaved so she was sure he had it.  But God cured him when he was about 3 years old.

 

I was very upset.  The implication to everyone was that I didn't have enough faith since my son had ASD and wasn't "healed."

 

It still upsets me greatly when I think about it.

Edited by DawnM
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Chronic Lyme disease does not exist. -CDC

Not sure how I left this off my list. I have been living this nightmare for years.

 

I will add lies told by doctors. "I don't know what you have but it isn't Lyme. You might have post Lyme syndrome. There is no cure for that"

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30 year mortgages make sense in a 21st century economy.

 

 

Always choose a major based on your passion not on potential earnings. Any investment in any college degree is a good idea. Everyone should go college.

 

 

We are starting the mortgage conversations with our boys.  We are even encouraging them to live at home once they have a career, and saving for a solid downpayment on a home with a 15 year mortgage.

 

The second one, what is your advice?  We are facing some of this with our second son.  He doesn't know what he wants yet.  We just want him to enjoy what he does and feel that it is something he can look forward to everyday.  We don't mind if he wants to be a music minister.  We don't want him to major in drama and do only community theater for no income, but we are only stressing that he needs some sort of steady income he can live on, but not that it needs to be lucrative.  

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