If your kids don't have real pajamas/ wear thrift store clothes

[pinkmint]

Something in another thread made me think of this. It's something I wonder about anyway. 

 

My kids usually don't have real pajamas, meaning they wear regular, although comfortable (t shirts and elastic waist comfy pants) clothes to sleep. DD does have a couple of nightgowns. 

 

Also I get a solid 50 percent of their clothes at thrift stores (and wash everything on hot before it is worn). However I always buy underwear, socks etc new. 

 

Is this a stamp of poverty on my kids? Would anyone think their kids would grow up feeling a bit traumatized by not having new clothing and real pajamas? 

 

Once I was at Carter's (a baby/ childrens clothing store) buying a couple of things on sale and the lady who rang me up told me about a program where you can buy a pair of pajamas for needy children who don't have pajamas... and I just thought, "I don't buy my own kids pajamas". So that I guess adds to the idea that not having real pajamas is a mark of poverty. 

[EmseB]

My kids don't wear pajamas, just clothes like you describe and we aren't exactly super thrifty. I definitely don't think it's a mark of poverty.

[Amira]

I don't think it's a mark of poverty, but I imagine it could feel like one if a family wanted to buy pajamas but couldn't afford to. To me, it's more about having a choice rather than what you choose to do.

[Sk8ermaiden]

My kids mostly sleep in leggings and oversized t-shirts or similar. I make sure my DD always has a set of cute, fitting pajamas though, for sleepovers and the like - and for summer camp this summer. Not because I personally think pajamas are important at all, but because I've seen firsthand that fitting in in terms of clothes is social currency (at least for girls - not there with my son yet, and it starts YOUNG.) I buy 80% of their stuff used, but try to make it easy for them in that regard, going with cute, on trend, well-fitting stuff. 

 

Edited April 23, 2016 by Sk8ermaiden

[Tsuga]

When I lived in California, we lived in SoCal, yes. People commented. Only poor people had thrift-store clothes. "Where did you get that, Goodwill?" Uh.

 

However, prior to that and ever since, I've lived in the Northwest and no, it's not a stamp of poverty, not here. Most kids come over with thrift-store clothing. People will even tell you they got something at Value Village when you compliment their work wardrobe. Like, at work.

 

So I guess it depends on the culture. I've been told again and again "Oh not all Californians are like that" but honestly that was my experience. From primary (3rd) through part of eighth grade. We lived in Orange County and there's a lot of poverty there and a lot of money. We have money up here but nothing like they have in California. They have so much money they put up gates up to keep poor people out. I'm forever traumatized by the brand consciousness and the gates. Well, trauma isn't the right word. I will never really get over it and I could never imagine living there again. It creeps me out. And then you can't even drink from the water fountains. To me it's just a whole different idea of what it means to be in a "nice place" or "have nice things". Clearly we have different values from the people making decisions there.

 

My kids have "real" PJs that I got as hand-me-downs and some that were bought with credit card rewards. They mainly sleep in their clothes for tomorrow, though.

Edited April 23, 2016 by Tsuga

[City Mouse]

My DS just sleeps in his underwater most of the time. He doesn't want pajamas unless it is very cold.

I buy used clothing on occasion, but not very often because it is usually such a pain to search through everything to find 1 item I want.

[BarbecueMom]

Growing up, I thought pajamas and rain boots were things only rich people owned. Then I realized it was only the kids in British children's lit that had those things.

 

My middle son is the only pajama wearer here. He loves them and gets character sets as gifts. The other kids and adults get too warm, even with the thermostat set low. I don't understand heated blankets or flannel sheets either.

 

Most of my clothes growing up were hand-me-downs. I didn't mind used or off-brand clothing that fit as a kid, as long as it was not horribly out of date (blouses with shoulder pads in 7th grade), an obvious knock off of a nicer brand (fake silk screened Tommy Hilfiger shirts), or something I needed to wear as part of a uniform that didn't match exactly (soccer shorts or concert dress). I wore jeans to bed for years as a kid/teen and still think they are more comfortable than pajama pants.

[MercyA]

Lots of people sleep in comfy pants or shorts and t-shirts. It's not a mark of poverty. If a little kid was sleeping in their jeans or in their underwear because they didn't have anything else, then I might consider them impoverished, by U.S. standards.

 

If your kids aren't asking for pjs, they probably don't even think about it! 

 

If it's something YOU want for your kids, I often find good deals on pajamas on eBay and at The Children's Place website. Right now, The Children's Place has cute kids' pajama sets on sale for $7.50-$8.50, with free shipping on all orders.

 

ETA: Most children in my circles wear used clothing, including mine. I just try to buy things that are cute and fit well.

Edited April 23, 2016 by MercyA

[Jean in Newcastle]

We wear thrift store clothes for two reasons:  we don't have a large clothing budget and we can get nice clothes there, so why not.  None of us care about the origin of our clothes as long as they are comfortable and fit.  As far as pajamas, go, the only one of us to wear actual pajamas are dd who likes the flannel pajama bottoms for day and night. 

[eternalsummer]

It might be a local culture thing, I have no idea.  We have $ and we buy the kids clothes used 95% of the time.  I just can't see paying full price for something I can get for 20% of the cost when I know they won't wear it out one way or another - the only exception is when they need something very specific (long sleeved blue dress for X event) or for DS, who is skinny, I sometimes buy new jeans on sale at Lands End because they last well and have those adjustable waist tabs.

 

We buy most used clothing online at thredup.com or locally at an upscale used kids clothes place; easier to flip through racks of stuff that is already pre-selected for quality (and easiest online, but then you have to worry about fit for things like jeans).

 

They have pajamas because I think they are adorable (only the 100% cotton no fire retardant kind); I buy them used from Hanna Andersson on Ebay in lots when I can find them cheap.  They last forever (pajamas are one thing they will wear out) and are comfortable.  The kids don't seem to understand the difference between pajamas and daytime clothes, though, because they wear regular clothes to bed and would pajamas to the park if I let them (sometimes I do).

 

 

When I was a kid, it wasn't thrift store clothes that were a mark of relative poverty (we lived in a wealthy-ish suburb, so "poor" was still not that poor in absolute terms).  It was  the inability to distinguish between cool used clothes and uncool used clothes.  My jeans were never faded in the right place, and my shirts were never cut correctly.  I just didn't know how to pick the right things, and my mom was no help.

 

So partially I do a lot more buying from the upscale kids resale place because I figure my chances are better there to find things that won't ostracize my kid :) (while not spending a fortune on clothes).

[JustEm]

I wouldn't see it as a sign of poverty. My kids have a few pajama sets that people have gifted them. Half the time they would rather just sleep in underwear or what they wore that day. I'm fine with that, it means less laundry for me.

 

As for kids feeling tramatized, I think that has a lot to do with things like their personality, the used clothing that is picked, peers reactions to used clothing, etc.

 

I buy 85 percent of their clothes used and they know it. But I am very picky about what I buy. So no stains, tears, proper fit, and no brands like Walmart where I can get the clothes the same price when it is priced to move. I talk a lot about why we buy used. It saves us money we can use on things that are important to us like traveling. Reusing things leads to less stuff being produced so it is good for the environment. I can buy better quality clothing that is nice and will last a few kids, like that 40 dollar Hanna Anderson dress that I got for $2 used.

 

No one would know by looking at them that all their clothes are used so they can't be jerks and judge them. They are learning that just because it is used doesn't mean there is anything wrong with it. And we have tons more money to do what we want instead of wasting it on clothes. Of course, when we were living paycheck to paycheck I still felt the same way but it was also a necessity.

[GailV]

My kids are older, so maybe this doesn't count as much, but 16yo dd is really proud when all of her outfit (other than underwear and shoes) is second hand.  Handmade is also very, very cool.

 

I think it falls into the same category as using mason jars for drinks -- it started out as a thrifty thing, and has moved into the hipster realm.

[Dmmetler]

Last summer when DD got the packing list for her sleep away program, pajamas were on it-and she commented "I don't have Pajamas!" She was wearing a t-shirt and pajama pants at the time. Literally half her wardrobe is pajama pants, leggings, knit shorts, and knit tops/t-shirts. She does usually change into clean clothes to sleep-but whether something is worn as PJ's or as daily wear depends on her mood and where we're going.

 

I did, however, buy her some NON PJ clothes to take to the college campus :)

[OneStepAtATime]

I think this really depends on the area.  Here, LOTS of people wear thrift store clothing.  Usually only the wealthy might notice or care.  DD loves thrift store and garage sale clothing.  As for pajamas, my kids used to wear pajamas but haven't for years.  DS wears underwear.  DD usually wears underwear and an old tshirt.

[SparklyUnicorn]

The only pajamas my kids ever had were bought as gifts from my MIL, but otherwise no they really don't have any and don't wear them.  I don't buy myself pajamas either.  My husband likes wearing pajamas so he has some.  I wear sweat pants or shorts and a t-shirt. 

 

I don't buy their clothes at thrift stores, but clothing from the older kid gets passed down to the younger.  I do buy the younger kid some new stuff too.  I don't shop anywhere expensive though.  Walmart mostly.  Sometimes Old Navy because there is one nearby.  Never the mall.  The younger kid never complains about that.  Neither of them care much about clothing.

 

I have never been to a thrift store, but I know a lot of people who go there.  They all tell me that the thrift stores around here are good for adult clothing, but not so great for kid's clothing (especially boys).  Probably a lot of boys wear their clothing out too much and it doesn't get donated. 

 

 

 

 

[MistyMountain]

We do pajamas but the majority of my kids clothes are from thrift stores. You really cannot tell the difference anyway because new clothes become used. Around here nobody cares about stuff like that. Where I grew up people where very concious of where clothes came from and brand names and people would not admit to clothes coming from a thrift store. I am not sure if it is still like that there but it is still a more materialistic place where people care about labels. We talk about the environmental benefit to buying used and how it saves money. The only thing I do not get used is shoes.

Edited April 23, 2016 by MistyMountain

[Carrie12345]

My kids don't have much in the way of pajamas.  All of us have a wide variety of fleece pants, leggings, etc. that serve as pajamas, around the house clothes, exercise/sports clothes, and what not.

 

We don't really have thrift stores nearby.  I do pick stuff up at the consignment shop.  My sisters' kids are fully outfitted by consignment, but they have a much cheaper and cuter shop available.  My 7th grader just had a growth spurt and I picked her up 7 or 8 pairs of high end jeans for $55.  Not dirt cheap, but more bang for my bucks than ON or Target in her size.  My boys, otoh, KILL clothes, and I can find little boy clothes cheaper at big box stores than on consignment.  Must have cheap, since they don't survive to hand down to the younger one!

 

I did grow up getting hand me downs from distant relatives and friends of friends.  I stuck with the best ones and wore them as many different ways as I could think of.  I didn't care that they were used, but I did have to sort through a lot of things that I would have been very embarrassed to wear.

[SparklyUnicorn]

 

Once I was at Carter's (a baby/ childrens clothing store) buying a couple of things on sale and the lady who rang me up told me about a program where you can buy a pair of pajamas for needy children who don't have pajamas... and I just thought, "I don't buy my own kids pajamas". So that I guess adds to the idea that not having real pajamas is a mark of poverty. 

 

Well there are 100,000 charities so I dunno.  I don't see it as a poverty thing.  One of the biggest reasons I don't buy pajamas is because they don't sell pajamas for petite people (at least not anywhere I've been to).  I don't want pants I'm going to trip over.  I don't want to have to hem pajamas.  It's easier to just buy a pair of shorts or sweat pants than deal with all of that.

[HomeAgain]

Goodness!  We all have pajama pants, but that's because we get cold in the winter.  Most of the time, though, the kids sleep in shorts.  Totally not flame-retardant, close fitting, pilly things that they "should" wear. :closedeyes:   For the rest of their stuff, most of it is from the thrift shop.  I have a closet full of nearly new Land's End kids' shirts hanging in my 6yo's closet because that's what was donated to the thrift store.  $1 each - can't lose!  I'll have an entire wardrobe for next winter for under $40, coat included.

 

It's not a mark of poverty.  It's a mark of savvy shopping and spending wisely. :thumbup1:

[EmseB]

So I feel very out of touch -- how do people know if something someone is wearing is from a thrift store? I would not have the first clue. I mean, I know if someone looks trendy or put together, but I'd have no idea where someone, trendy or not, bought their clothes.

Edited April 23, 2016 by JodiSue

[SKL]

I am not poor, but that's exactly how I've sent my kids to bed as long as they've accepted it.  Which was nearly always until the past year or so, when they have requested to wear pajamas some of the time.

 

I just don't see the point of making them change an extra time when their day clothes are comfortable enough to sleep in.

 

And I also buy second-hand clothes when I find something nice for a good price.  I have had people ask me if my kids' clothes were hand-made by me or a grandma.  :)  If there are people who have an issue with my kids' clothes, they've never said it to me.  :)

Edited April 23, 2016 by SKL

[SparklyUnicorn]

Looking at the ages of your kids I doubt they are thinking about this at all.

 

That's one thing I try to be sensitive with hand me downs and the younger kid.  He really does not care, but I do buy him a few new things.  My husband was very upset about never having any of his own clothing.  Even his mother would give him her old pants.  What boy wants to wear their mother's old pants?!  She even saved stuff and sent us old clothing from when he was little when our first was born.  Imagine a pair of authentic bell bottom pants with heart shaped knee patches.  I threw them out.  My husband was horrified when he saw them. LOL

 

 

[eternalsummer]

When we were poor, I never bought a new item of clothing ever, not for me or the kids.  Never.  (okay, underwear and socks, I bought new.  but no real clothing).  Not shoes either.  Not bathing suits.  Nada.

 

Now that we are not poor, I buy the occasional new thing if I need something really specific and don't want to spend the time shopping for it used; when we were poor I had tons of time and no $, and now I have $ but no time.

 

However, now I buy more expensive used things, like if I find a boutique dress or something for DDs - $10 used, maybe, instead of $70 new.  I still don't buy things new at say Target or Old Navy, and I definitely am not paying $50-$70 for new boutique clothing.

[maize]

My kids wear hand me downs, thrift store clothes, and cheap stuff from Walmart and Target. They don't wear pajamas.

 

I don't think they care.

 

Clothes are important when they are around other kids who might give them a hard time about clothes, or if the kids care about something in particular.

[RoundAbout]

When I lived in California, we lived in SoCal, yes. People commented. Only poor people had thrift-store clothes. "Where did you get that, Goodwill?" Uh.

 

However, prior to that and ever since, I've lived in the Northwest and no, it's not a stamp of poverty, not here. Most kids come over with thrift-store clothing. People will even tell you they got something at Value Village when you compliment their work wardrobe. Like, at work.

 

So I guess it depends on the culture. I've been told again and again "Oh not all Californians are like that" but honestly that was my experience. From primary (3rd) through part of eighth grade. We lived in Orange County and there's a lot of poverty there and a lot of money. We have money up here but nothing like they have in California. They have so much money they put up gates up to keep poor people out. I'm forever traumatized by the brand consciousness and the gates. Well, trauma isn't the right word. I will never really get over it and I could never imagine living there again. It creeps me out. And then you can't even drink from the water fountains. To me it's just a whole different idea of what it means to be in a "nice place" or "have nice things". Clearly we have different values from the people making decisions there.

 

 

I totally agree on culture.  I know many well off dual income tech families in Seattle who shop at Value Village, have used furniture, basic cars, and unrenovated homes, but simultaneously buy all their food from Whole Foods or PCC.  That's not everyone of course, but its not outside of the norm. 

SoCal was indeed a totally different culture.  When I graduated college and moved to San Diego everyone kept asking me when I was going to buy a better car.  I had a perfectly nice, but used, Honda Civic and honestly didn't understand why I needed to upgrade.  At least clothing wasn't an issue because my office had a beach attire culture.

[SparklyUnicorn]

When I lived in California, we lived in SoCal, yes. People commented. Only poor people had thrift-store clothes. "Where did you get that, Goodwill?" Uh.

 

 

Yep.  I grew up in Connecticut and the attitude was very similar. 

 

My mother was too horrified at the thought of thrift stores, but she couldn't afford more than Kmart.  I remember being worried to hell I'd see someone from school there.  Of course now I realize that is rather silly because if they saw me I also saw them!

 

I don't feel traumatized by that though.

[RoundAbout]

It's funny BTW, because I just went looking for PJs for my son and couldn't find anything in his size (10/12) that wasn't hideously garish or slathered with licensed characters.  There are cute stuff for littles and more subdued designs for teens/adults but nothing decent for in-between sizes so I've been letting him sleep in boxer/briefs or shorts.

[Pawz4me]

I haven't read any of the other replies (yet), but --

 

We aren't exactly pinching our pennies, but the boys have worn stretchy shorts and t-shirts for pajamas ever since they came out of onesies.  I was never able to find any "real" pajamas for little kids that felt good (soft) and were comfy.  So shorts and t-shirts are all they've ever known.  They're 17 and 20 and certainly haven't shown any signs of emotional trauma due to lack of traditional pajamas.. ;)

 

We've never bought anything from a thrift store, though.  Not that I think anything's wrong with it. Just not our thing.

 

ETA -- I wear shorts (or yoga pants) and a t-shirt as pajamas, too.  And I'm not emotionally traumatized. ;)  As someone said earlier, though, doing something by choice versus necessity is likely definitely a factor.

Edited April 23, 2016 by Pawz4me

[Tsuga]

So I feel very out of touch -- how do people know if something someone is wearing is from a thrift store? I would not have the first clue. I mean, I know if someone looks trendy or put together, but I'd have no idea where someone, trendy or not, bought their clothes.

 

Things that look old or faded. Not brand new. I remember the horror I felt when a girl walked up to me and asked what was wrong with  my sweater that it had little balls all over it. :( Or the "right" colors for this year.

 

Like every year Gap changes its sweatshirts. You want this year's. It's a little disgusting, in my opinion, though I do have a credit card from that store in particular because the shape of the clothes fits me well and also because I can use the rewards at Old Navy which has cheap kids' clothes for school so my kids always get one or two new things, and also trendy little shoes for $15. I know they won't last as long but I figure the kids will grow out of them as soon as they fall apart anyway.

[NorthwestMom]

How would anyone know the clothes come from a thrift store? The clothes I buy from there look like all other clothes. We are not poor, but I do still shop in thrift stores - actually, I would shop there a lot more often, but I want the people who really need to shop there to find what they need in their price range.

 

I had to chuckle at the pajamas. At our house, once a beloved shirt or dress becomes too worn out or too short to wear, it can be worn by the child as pajamas. My DD11 has 2 tee shirts she LOVES, both with huge holes, that she wears regularly with her pajama pants. I don't let her leave the house with them though. :lol:

[Tsuga]

Yep.  I grew up in Connecticut and the attitude was very similar. 

 

My mother was too horrified at the thought of thrift stores, but she couldn't afford more than Kmart.  I remember being worried to hell I'd see someone from school there.  Of course now I realize that is rather silly because if they saw me I also saw them!

 

I don't feel traumatized by that though.

 

Trauma was the wrong word. But it's different when kids make fun of you at school, or comment on your clothes. The feeling of being an outsider did not leave me for a very long time.

[eternalsummer]

When we were poor I also sewed a lot, as I could make boutique-looking dresses for the cost of material and I was good at getting cheap material (upcycled sheets! etc.).  Other kids/adults generally knew some of DD's dresses were handmade but by then handmade was super cool (Etsy, etc.) so it wasn't the same as homemade clothing when I was in school.  

[SparklyUnicorn]

Trauma was the wrong word. But it's different when kids make fun of you at school, or comment on your clothes. The feeling of being an outsider did not leave me for a very long time.

 

Yes.  I endured a lot of that. 

 

At 12 I started earning some of my own money so I bought my own clothes.  I'd buy a few more stylish things and that helped. 

 

On the one hand intellectually I can say this stuff is ridiculous and stupid, but on the other hand I have not forgotten how cruel kids can be.  My kids don't go to school though so it is nice to not have to deal with this.

 

I had a friend in elementary who had parents who were pretty well off.  They were extremely frugal when it came to clothing though.  Even going so far as to having their kids wear shoes with large holes in them to school.  That was a bit much IMO. 

[eternalsummer]

I think in reality, social trauma nonwithstanding (and I definitely had some as a kid who had no idea how to find the right clothes at thrift stores), we are all very very spoiled with regard to clothing.  The only reason there are so many cheap clothes in thrift stores in the first place is because the Chinese and Vietnamese and Mexicans and etc. make our clothing for pennies (so people are happy to discard a shirt that cost $10 new at Old Navy, as they can afford to replace it with another $10 shirt, but if we were paying first-world citizens living wages for these things, they'd be 3-4x the cost and people would be less willing or able to discard/replace as often.)  Even if I were to sew everything, the material is still largely grown and produced by people who are living quite poor relatively to me.  So while shopping used can be a pain, and shopping new seems expensive, I try to remember that it is all dependent, for me, on someone else's willingness to live in a way I don't even have to consider.

 

I am okay with this disparity morally because my ancestors paid the price for our current development, and things aren't always fair, etc. - but I am still grateful for my good luck in the equation.

[knoxinsox]

When my kids were tiny, they wore sleepers to stay warm. Now they wear whatever--which is usually day clothes, leggings or sweatpants.  I make nightgowns for my daughter and some peasant blouses, etc.  Less laundry is good and my kids even wear their clothes several days.  We get the majority of their clothing at yard sales or the thrift store, and underwear, socks and sometimes shoes at regular stores.  I look for deals ahead on those items, and get them even if they are too big.  And I give them underwear and socks for Christmas...(I'm becoming my mother) We are pretty minimalist, and we hang dry all our clothes so they last longer. 

 

DH grew up poor with a grandmother who picked out awful clothing---nothing like the other kids at school wore so he was adverse to buying used at first but quickly saw that the stuff I purchase is decent and doesn't stand out in a crowd. 

[PrincessMommy]

I live in the metro dc area... and I never bought my kids pjs.  When they were little they wore "papa shirts", which were my dh's t-shirts that were huge, and very comfortable on them.  I never batted an eye.  I also shop at thrift stores - esp. when my kids were younger and going through clothes.

 

We can afford pjs and new clothes from department stores, but that is not how we chose to spend our money.   I've never been particularly concerned with what other people think - in fact, if I were asked I'd be prouder about shopping at a thrift store and embarrassed to shop at the super expensive stores downtown.   Now I shop more at Kohls or Target because it's more convenient.  But I still love making the outing to the thrift stores with my adult daughters.

 

My kids have told me before that they thought we were poor growing up, but then realized that we took them all (I have 6 kids) to Italy for vacation.  LOL.   Priorities ;) 

[alisoncooks]

We do most of our clothing shopping at thrift stores.

(Ha, I just looked at myself: graphic tee -- thrift store, cargo capris -- thrift store, Columbia flip flops-- thrift store!)

 

I don't think any one can tell by looking at my family that we spend so little on clothes. (Now, you can look at me and tell I don't spend big bucks on hair and makeup, but that's another story.)

 

As far as PJs go, my kids used to wear nightgowns, when we could find ones we liked. And they went through a season of wearing little boy character PJ sets (because How To Train Your Dragon trumps princesses any day). Now they sleep in oversized tees, which I do also.

[Wheres Toto]

My daughter wears pj's and nightgowns to bed.  She has a bunch because that's what she likes to wear.

 

My son has a few pairs of pj's but is far likelier to wear just regular clothes to bed.  He ONLY wears soft elastic waist pants and t-shirts (sensory issues) so his night clothes are exactly the same as his day clothes.

 

[ondreeuh]

When I lived in California, we lived in SoCal, yes. People commented. Only poor people had thrift-store clothes. "Where did you get that, Goodwill?" Uh.

 

However, prior to that and ever since, I've lived in the Northwest and no, it's not a stamp of poverty, not here. Most kids come over with thrift-store clothing. People will even tell you they got something at Value Village when you compliment their work wardrobe. Like, at work.

 

So I guess it depends on the culture. I've been told again and again "Oh not all Californians are like that" but honestly that was my experience. From primary (3rd) through part of eighth grade. We lived in Orange County and there's a lot of poverty there and a lot of money. We have money up here but nothing like they have in California. They have so much money they put up gates up to keep poor people out. I'm forever traumatized by the brand consciousness and the gates. Well, trauma isn't the right word. I will never really get over it and I could never imagine living there again. It creeps me out. And then you can't even drink from the water fountains. To me it's just a whole different idea of what it means to be in a "nice place" or "have nice things". Clearly we have different values from the people making decisions there.

 

My kids have "real" PJs that I got as hand-me-downs and some that were bought with credit card rewards. They mainly sleep in their clothes for tomorrow, though.

 

I grew up in the PNW and everyone had the same disdain for thrift store clothes until I got to high school. Then going through the bins at the big Goodwill was cool - you paid by the pound there.

 

My own kids tend to sleep in whatever they wore during the day. They own pajamas, but insist their regular clothes are comfortable enough, so why change? I don't worry about it.

 

[Guest]

Nope.

 

On one hand, you can NEVER predict what will bother people about their childhoods after they're grown.

 

On the other hand, ime when you grow up very poor, you appreciate having had clothes that are clean at all. So. Lack of official pj's and the fact that your perfectly good clothes came from the goodwill is way down on the list of things that are likely to bug you.

 

And my kids have access to jammies and refuse to wear them. So there ya go.

[pinkmint]

I think people can probably tell/ sense that a person's clothes are coming from the thrift store if they know what to look for. 

 

There are so many kids (and adults for that matter) wearing the latest "athleisure" clothes like Under Armour (as an aside I cannot comprehend the popularity of athleisure. I absolutely don't get it. Can someone explain wearing expensive workout clothes as your going to the grocery store clothes every day?) with vibrant colors and the latest style. Or stuff emblazoned with "Hollister" or whatever is the cool thing now. 

 

If you're going to buy a significant amount of clothing at thrift stores, much of it will not be the latest style, the colors will not be the brightest, the fabrics won't be the most pristine, and yes, sometimes my kids stuff even has small holes in it. 

 

Anyway, even though we could not afford to dress in all-new clothing, I still like to pat myself on the back for thrift shopping because I can wear AnnTaylor tops, and dd can wear J Crew for less than the price of new clothes at Walmart.

[VaKim]

Shoot! The thrift stores and goodwills are where we get expensive, name brand clothes we'd never be able to afford (or just wouldn't want to) otherwise. Also, there is more of a selection of styles than is available in the stores. 

 

As for pajamas, my girls wear them now, but when they were little, they slept in sweats and tees, as that way they were already dressed when they got up in the morning. 

 

The one thing I hated growing up was that my mom would go and buy a whole bunch of cheap, dollar store clothes for us for school, when it would have been so much better to just have a few nice things. Even the other "poor" kids had a couple pairs of Levi's and a couple alligator shirts (yep, I'm that old). 

[pinkmint]

BTW Tsuga, I grew up in Orange County (since age 7... left California at 21) poor too. I wish I knew you! I was very harshly made fun of for sure. And I have carried that outsider feeling with me to this day. I think the alienation of being a child from a poor single parent household in Orange County is not for the faint of heart. I had a couple of friends in similar situations but we were not the norm and boy did we feel it. 

[mom2scouts]

Poor people can't afford most of the thrift shops around here! I can buy new at Kohls with a sale and 30% of coupon for less than most of the things at Value Village or Goodwill. It's really frustrating. :glare:

[eternalsummer]

pinkmint, is there an upscale children's resale shop in your area or near it?  That might work better than Goodwill, seriously.

 

Also try swap.com or thredup.com - both of them allow you to filter by brand, size, gender, type, etc. - they generally only have stuff that's in good shape so you don't have to worry that someone can tell it is excessively used - it never is.

[pinkmint]

Poor people can't afford most of the thrift shops around here! I can buy new at Kohls with a sale and 30% of coupon for less than most of the things at Value Village or Goodwill. It's really frustrating. :glare:

 

I feel for you. In some parts of the country it really is like that. In the Portland (Oregon) area I would see an Old Navy shirt at Goodwill for more than it would be on the clearance rack at the actual Old Navy. I guess that's one thing to be thankful for about Texas. 

[NatureMomma]

When I lived in California, we lived in SoCal, yes. People commented. Only poor people had thrift-store clothes. "Where did you get that, Goodwill?" Uh.

 

However, prior to that and ever since, I've lived in the Northwest and no, it's not a stamp of poverty, not here. Most kids come over with thrift-store clothing. People will even tell you they got something at Value Village when you compliment their work wardrobe. Like, at work.

 

So I guess it depends on the culture. I've been told again and again "Oh not all Californians are like that" but honestly that was my experience. From primary (3rd) through part of eighth grade. We lived in Orange County and there's a lot of poverty there and a lot of money. We have money up here but nothing like they have in California. They have so much money they put up gates up to keep poor people out. I'm forever traumatized by the brand consciousness and the gates. Well, trauma isn't the right word. I will never really get over it and I could never imagine living there again. It creeps me out. And then you can't even drink from the water fountains. To me it's just a whole different idea of what it means to be in a "nice place" or "have nice things". Clearly we have different values from the people making decisions there.

 

My kids have "real" PJs that I got as hand-me-downs and some that were bought with credit card rewards. They mainly sleep in their clothes for tomorrow, though.

[eternalsummer]

We vacationed in CA last spring - we drove from Crescent City down to San Diego.  There was definitely, the further south you went, a sense that somehow all the women were blond, tan, in good shape, fashionable, and had perfect hair and makeup and nails and sunglasses and etc.

 

I don't know what it is about (esp southern) California,  but it is not like that here, nor was it as much like that in MO (there is a definite dress/appearance code but it tends less toward blonde bombshell and more toward plump farmer).

 

When we lived in NZ for a year it was really immediately obvious to me how much less strict the unofficial dress code was.  There were people at teachers' college who wore all manner of things and it didn't seem to affect social standing.  Where I had gone to college (Kansas) clothes had a *lot* to do with social standing.

 

Edited April 23, 2016 by ananemone

[pinkmint]

Oh the thrift stores here really are good (except that I can NEVER find Pyrex... the Pacific Northwest was a vintage Pyrex goldmine at the thrift stores). My only problem is that I often don't have time with DH working so much overtime. Thrift stores are great except they are time consuming. 

[eternalsummer]

Yes, they are time consuming!  I lived in walking distance of one when I was a SAHM with lots of time (instead of a WAHM with no time) and spent lots of time there :)  Now there is just no time for that.  I *loved* making great finds at thrift stores, felt like victory!