Teenage boys and hair cut

[JadeOrchidSong]

I used to cut my boys' hair. Now they are 13 and 11, they don't want anyone to touch their hair. They are long in the back and cover their eyes half way or all in the front. Do you leave your boys be or do you force them for haircut?

[PeacefulChaos]

Their hair, their business.

 

 

I require they wash it on a regular basis.  That's it.

[Ethel Mertz]

I don't battle over hair as long as it's clean.

[Pen]

I sometimes suggest that it is getting quite long and perhaps a haircut would be desirable, but do not cut hair unless my offer is accepted, or I am requested to do so, and do my best to cut it to the length requested.

[Tammi K]

I like my son's hair a bit longer - It gets curly in an adorable 'Josh Groban' kind of way.  He prefers it shorter in an almost buzz cut kind of way.  We've come to an agreement. He gets to have it cut as short as he likes but I get to decide how often he gets taken for a hair cut. :laugh:

[bettyandbob]

No.

 

Comb yes.

 

There's lots to argue about through the teen years. Hair is not a hill to die on.

[*Lulu*]

It is his body and his choice.

 

Caveats:

 

Taking care of our bodies includes the hair and scalp. So if you pick a hair length that requires multiple washings daily to keep cared for- you chose the cut you deal with the consequences

 

I am still in charge of the big picture of your health so if I research the glow in the dark purple hair dye and discover health risks I will veto that particular bit of self expression.

 

You are part of a larger body, a society, a family. We will not be conforming just to pacify other people's expectations but we will also not be turning Nana's fall family photo into an uproar for shock value.

Edited March 4, 2016 by *Lulu*

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I didn't see my son's eyes his entire 7th or 8th grade years.  Then, he just decided on his own to cut it short.  He's had it pretty short for four years now, and he wonders what the heck he was thinking.  :)

[Ravin]

I would discourage cuts, but encourage keeping it out of faces.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I leave it be (minus please wash your hair).

 

 

[itsheresomewhere]

I only enforce the did you wash your hair and use soap rule.  Otherwise, his hair, his body, his choice.

[SparklyUnicorn]

So glad I'm not the only one who mentions the washing thing.  LOL

 

 

[Scarlett]

My son wants his shorter than I do so not an issue here. Mostly I want it clean. Now he is 16 he wants it clean too. Twice a day shower usually.

[itsheresomewhere]

So glad I'm not the only one who mentions the washing thing.  LOL

Makes me feel better knowing I am not alone.  LOL

[TeenagerMom]

DS13 has been growing his out for a year now...it's almost long enough for a pony tail.  It's his hair, we don't care.  My DD15 has a very short purple pixie cut.

 

We good with it as long as it's clean.....

 

Though it is a hassle as DS's hair is curly & thick and he wants it's cute and straight....so I have to spend 30 minutes every time he showers flat ironing it for him.

 

 

 

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

DS13 has been growing his out for a year now...it's almost long enough for a pony tail.  It's his hair, we don't care.  My DD15 has a very short purple pixie cut.

 

We good with it as long as it's clean.....

 

Though it is a hassle as DS's hair is curly & thick and he wants it's cute and straight....so I have to spend 30 minutes every time he showers flat ironing it for him.

 

ohhh...cool idea.  I have a flat iron.  DS has super thick crazy hair too and it drives him crazy.  I never thought to offer the straight iron.

[redsquirrel]

I just tell him to wash it and that's it.  It's his hair and he can wear it how he likes.  He often wants to dye it crazy colors and I  have to be the bad guy and remind him that he usually has a ballet performance coming up so he can't.  But he can have it any length he wants. Right now it is very short/shaved on the sides and long and flopping in his face on the top.  He wears the long part back in a pony tail

[JadeOrchidSong]

You win! I will let them be.

They do wash their hair very well. So no complaining about that.

However, we'll go to visit family in China. I'm afraid people will talk about their hair there. They might just accept it as foreign teenage boy hairstyle, too!

[Baseball mom]

As long as it is clean it is ok.

 

After buzz cuts for years and years ds1 wanted to wear his "shaggy".  Drove my stepdad nuts (military) but I just kept shrugging it off. Finally after about 2 years he wanted a short shaped style (looked so much better).

 

Now about 3 years of short style he looks back at pictures and says "why did you let me wear my hair like that?". I answer "Same reason I gave your little brother get a mohawk.  Free expression".  He says "well it looked bad"  And I just agree :lol:

 

Yep I gave my ds a mohawk.  Not once but 2 or 3 times. He asked me to do it.   Even sprayed it colors.  Did this when he was about 6, 7 and 9.  

[J-rap]

We let our son do whatever he wanted with his hair as a teenager.  He was a good guy and that's what counted.  Of course now, as an adult, he looks back at pictures of himself and realizes how dorky it looked!  haha  But he wouldn't have believed us if we told him then.  :)

 

 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

 

We only require regular washing and brushing.

 

One of my teen boys has gorgeous long locks all the way down his back, the other prefers short hair that won't tangle.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I'll add a memory.  Back in the 70s, my dad tried to buzz cut my brother's hair.  He was 16 at the time, I think.  They ended up in a brawl, with my dad holding my brother in a headlock, then both of them crashing into the fireplace.  It was UGLY!  I decided then and there that hair was definitely not worth all that!  I'll never tell my kids how to wear their hair.  

[Tanaqui]

Adolescence is the perfect time to experiment with your look, because you don't have a corporate job with a dress code you need to follow.

[Pink and Green Mom]

Mine goes to a school with a "hair code" for students.  For boys it has to be off the collar, eyebrows, and not longer than the ear lobes.  He likes it a little shaggier than that so when I get a nastygram from school about his hair length I take him for a cut. 

 

And while he has gotten better about soap and deodorant, he would gladly go days without washing his hair if I didn't remind him daily.

[Ottakee]

If it is clean, I would let it go.

 

If the issue is not wanting MOM to cut their hair then I would offer to take them to a local place where other teen boys get their hair cut.

 

Just a funny story. We have a Hispanic 12 year old foster boy. He wanted to let his hair grow out so we let him but he wanted a longer, wavy, Justin B type style. Well, he has straight, thick, coarse hair and it just would never work. Then his next hair cut style was to be like my friend's teenage son with a Mohawk of sorts. I cut it that way.... But he was disappointed that his hair didn't "poof up" like Khylin's hair does......well Khylin is African American and once again, his Hispanic hair just isn't going to "poof".... So the poor boy is back to a basic very short haircut which looks really good on him.

[lllll]

nm

Edited March 7, 2016 by _ oq?"

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I used to let my son decide as long as he didn't cry during washing and combing (he wasn't independent). He's had it longer, mohawk, designs buzzed on the sides, pink, purple, green, red. But now he's a Young Marine, so he has no choice. It has to be kept off the ears, off the neck, and no more than 3 inches on top. 

 

As long as they can care for it, or don't whine if you have to help, let them have their hair.

[Julie Smith]

Mine aren't teens. But my rule for youngest is:

 

- You must willingly and without complaint wash it. 

- You have to get use to washing it before the words Crunchy or Slimy can be used to describe your hair. 

- It can't restrict your vision. 

 

For at least a year he had a full on mullet. He described the style himself, and then when he saw a picture of it thought it was awesome. And I mean a full on mullet. 

 

 

[Spryte]

Keep it clean and relatively tangle free are the only rules here.

 

Hair is not a battle I'll fight. My parents took the same approach.

 

DS has Josh Groban hair, too. Right now it has blonde streaks which have been a multitude of different colors.

 

We have a good friend who comes over to do our hair every six weeks. She closed her salon after an ugly divorce, but still does our family. She offers suggestions and guidance, and DS always has the option of whatever he wants re: hair. He has made great choices. :)

[Spryte]

Mine goes to a school with a "hair code" for students. For boys it has to be off the collar, eyebrows, and not longer than the ear lobes. He likes it a little shaggier than that so when I get a nastygram from school about his hair length I take him for a cut.

 

And while he has gotten better about soap and deodorant, he would gladly go days without washing his hair if I didn't remind him daily.

Nastygram - that made me giggle.

 

And yes, we have enforced washing here, too. We are in the water averse phase, still.

[foxbridgeacademy]

DS has really long curly hair with the sides and back buzzed.  When he hasn't washed it in awhile I make him put it in a ponytail.  We'll be cutting it today at his request.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(he has a skin condition that makes showering more than 1X per week painful and medically expensive, so his hair can get pretty messy)

[AK_Mom4]

Clean and combed is all.   Their hair, their choice - even the kid who went neon orange one year (his plan to go blonde didn't quite work out).

[Lady Florida.]

They are still young. This is a time they can have long or longish hair without repercussions. Ds is 18 and having trouble finding a job. He is finally realizing that his hair might be part of it. I've agreed with him that it's wrong for people to judge him by his hair but told him that's the way of our society at this time. He is going to have to get it cut.

 

As long as it's clean and combed, leave it be. Soon enough, they'll have a reason to cut it. 

[Guest]

My husband has long hair, so we don't have many stones to throw :). If my boys want to wear a higher maintenance haircut I don't care so long as they take care of it and it doesn't interfere with what they need to do. We will encourage them to match their appearence to their goals in general, just like our girls some looks are more appropriate for some settings than others. But I can't bring myself to care much if they're clean and happy and it's not dangerous - like long loose hair around equipment or piercings and contact sports.

[Murphy101]

We require maintence. I don't care too much about length so much as does it look like they washed and brushed it today. If they start to look like a cross between cow lick-shaggy and grease - we tell them to deal with it or we are hauling them in for haircuts.

 

Usually they don't like looking that way and go deal with it before we have to say anything.

[Hypatia.]

Cut, no. Wash, yes.

 

DS1 is 11 and his hair is down to his chin. He's welcome to wear it however he wants.

[mum]

Our ds wanted to grow his hair while in college, and we agreed. He rightly said that it was the last time that how he looked really didn't matter. It grew past his shoulders and in ringlets. My mother called it 'magnificent'. At times it didn't smell that great. He got a passport  while in that phase. Now he's heading into military and has a regulation haircut. He recently looked at his passport picture and asked when he was up for renewal :001_smile:.

[MiMi 4under3]

Ds has long curly hair several inches past his shoulders.

 

I only "force" him to let me trim off 2-3 inches when the tangles become too big for him to deal with on his own. So maybe once per year. 

[gardenmom5]

dudeling is 11 and still likes short hair.  (he's also happy he doesn't have to comb it.  it's too short to comb.)

 

 the other boys would waffle back and forth.  they get to see what their preferences are just like girls do.  if there was something going on - I might encourage them to have it cut, otherwise, it could get pretty bushy.  same thing with beards.  might be scruffy, might be clean shaven. (while electric razors can be good for boys in the early stages of shaving, now they both use actual razors.  2ds has moved up to old fashioned safety razors.)

 

we used to joke that because my brother's hair was shorter than military when he was a kid, he rebelled by growing it out.  he had it to his shoulders. (coarse wave)  then he joined the military - and it's been short ever since.  (NEVER as short as it would be when he was a kid.)