Can money buy happiness??

[SKL]

I also think being stressed is different from being unhappy.  I'm a pretty mellow person, tending toward happy, but I am also pretty stressed out much of the time.  I think a lot of moms I know are similar.  Whether the stress is about money, or kid problems, or work expectations, or personal health, I don't know that it makes much difference.

[RoundAbout]

A friend of mine has a saying "If it's a problem money can solve, then its not a real problem." 

What having money does is reduce the number of "problems" (under this definition) to a few things like serious illness, death, divorce, job loss, etc. that are traumatic but thankfully not that common.  Without money the list of potential problems grows to include everyday events like car failure,  loose fillings, all the way down to not enough food.  

 

From what I've read more money buys more happiness up until about 70k a year.  That's about the level at which money can solve every day problems.  After that other factors come into play.  

[regentrude]

You're still thinking within a particular cultural context.  Money is a stand-in for other things, and it or those things can be made to work more efficiently depending on things like cultural structures or way of life.

 

What, for example, if we decided to think quite differently about the private ownership of land?  What if instead of valuing an economy with a very mobile workforce we valued very stable community life?  What if we expected many people would not be in paid employment and the economy was structured that way.

 

So how would you go about this? A simple barter system like in prehistoric times won't work with more sophisticated products, because person A who is producing the goods person B needs may have absolutely no use for the services or goods person B can offer in exchange. The simple exchanges may work for food, clothes, maybe some trade work. I cannot fathom any way how an engineer or scientist could be paid in a barter economy.

I think having an abstract way of keeping track of goods and services that does not limit us to direct exchange (as represented by money or cowrie shells) allows society a lot more flexibility and progress because it permits complexity.

I have no desire to live in the middle ages. I am highly qualified at what I do, and the skill is in demand - alas, not directly by people who would offer me food and shelter in return for my services.

 

Edited February 8, 2016 by regentrude

[regentrude]

I also think being stressed is different from being unhappy.  I'm a pretty mellow person, tending toward happy, but I am also pretty stressed out much of the time.  I think a lot of moms I know are similar.  Whether the stress is about money, or kid problems, or work expectations, or personal health, I don't know that it makes much difference.

 

I think it does. Poverty creates the kind of chronic stress that has been shown to have tangible health consequences. It is one thing to be stressed about work expectations and quite a different one to be stressed about not knowing where food for the kids for tomorrow is coming from.

 

[LucyStoner]

A friend of mine has a saying "If it's a problem money can solve, then its not a real problem."

 

I call BS on that.

 

Imagine a victim of domestic violence fighting for sole custody of her children. Having $$$$ to get a GREAT attorney who will argue for you in court is a more impactful solution than having to go in pro se with a few hours of document review and ideas from the volunteer attorneys at the shelter.

 

That's a problem that more money can definitely help more effectively solve.

 

Also, as someone who was homeless as a child, um, yeah. That problem could have been solved by my parents being able to earn more $$$.

Edited February 8, 2016 by LucyStoner

[Tita Gidge]

I think there's a point where (enough) money can bring the happiness of knowing one's basic needs will be met - food, shelter, safety and security. 

 

And I think there's a point where (too much) money can bring the same fears and stresses that accompany not having ENOUGH money.

 

Mostly I think 95% of us fall somewhere in between, where money can bring contentedness and perhaps distraction - both oft confused with happiness.

[SKL]

I think it does. Poverty creates the kind of chronic stress that has been shown to have tangible health consequences. It is one thing to be stressed about work expectations and quite a different one to be stressed about not knowing where food for the kids for tomorrow is coming from.

 

I dunno, work stress can be chronic too, and health problems have certainly been linked to work stress.

 

Stress about a kid's or spouse's chronic serious health problem can also chip away at a mom's health.

 

The stress of knowing one's bills aren't getting paid this month probably isn't the worst stress out there.

 

Edited February 8, 2016 by SKL

[Bluegoat]

So how would you go about this? A simple barter system like in prehistoric times won't work with more sophisticated products, because person A who is producing the goods person B needs may have absolutely no use for the services or goods person B can offer in exchange. The simple exchanges may work for food, clothes, maybe some trade work. I cannot fathom any way how an engineer or scientist could be paid in a barter economy.

I think having an abstract way of keeping track of goods and services that does not limit us to direct exchange (as represented by money or cowrie shells) allows society a lot more flexibility and progress because it permits complexity.

I have no desire to live in the middle ages. I am highly qualified at what I do, and the skill is in demand - alas, not directly by people who would offer me food and shelter in return for my services.

 

 

I don't know that we need to get rid of money exchange, though there is a lot to be said for the underground economy.

 

But I think when we say - well, having a home that is reliable requires money, and that security makes it easier to be happy - it really isn't the money that is the basic thing.  It is the home or the security.

 

Money is one way to get that, but it isn't necessarily the only way to accomplish that.  Another example would be many families feel really stressed out by the demands of jobs and child-rearing without things like reliable childcare or people to help out in an emergency.  Could more money help that - maybe, you would have enough for sitters, maybe nannies or a cleaning lady.  On the other hand, there can be non-monetary ways to get that kind of help as well - living nearer relatives or in a different type of community, for example. 

 

And when money becomes the focus, we can also imagine that it makes us secure when in fact, it is really only giving us an illusion of security.  You might have a 5 million dollar home on a mortgage, but you aren't necessarily more secure than someone who owns something more modest.  In fact you might be spending a lot of time worried because of money issues - if you lose your income you could still easily be homeless, and you might really feel the loss of lifestyle as well.

[gardenmom5]

I think there's a point where (enough) money can bring the happiness of knowing one's basic needs will be met - food, shelter, safety and security. 

 

And I think there's a point where (too much) money can bring the same fears and stresses that accompany not having ENOUGH money.

 

Mostly I think 95% of us fall somewhere in between, where money can bring contentedness and perhaps distraction - both oft confused with happiness.

 

 

this - I think outside the survival basics (we've had some serious money insecurity and are now "comfortable".) - money doesn't buy happiness. It can buy *pleasure* or enjoyment of things or entertainment - and I do think some people have equated those things to happiness - but they aren't.

 

we've upgraded finishes in our house, and I really like the hardwoods and moldings - they give me pleasure (and oddly, surprisingly reduced a certain degree of stress),  BUT, they don't make me "happy".  but seeing them is also a daily reminder things aren't as fiscally tight as they have hither fore been.  where we forewent dr visits due to lack of health insurance or money to pay out of pocket. (even when we 'newly' could afford it, because of years of conditioning of not being able to afford it.)  

 

I now have an aspie - and I'm very grateful to have enough money to do things for him that have helped him tremendously.  seeing how much progress he has made - brings me joy and happiness.  money only contributed by allowing me to "purchase" the tools that have been used to help him.

 

(Katie - your example of DV victim using lots of money for a great lawyer is on the survival level where money is reducing stress of basic living needs - in your example, of increasing her chance of getting custody of her kids.)

[foxbridgeacademy]

I would say yes and no.  I think miserable people will be unhappy no matter what.  I think general optimistic people can find a silver lining, but man being poor sure does suck the shine out of the silver.

 

I'm a worrier but mostly upbeat person and I can promise you the huge (like 50%) raise Dh is about to get is gonna make me much happier, but years ago when he was laid off and we lived on practically nothing I was a miserable mess. None of these things change who I am or how much I love my family or even how proud I am of my husband, they just affect my sleep and blood pressure. 

[RoundAbout]

I call BS on that.    

 

Imagine a victim of domestic violence fighting for sole custody of her children.  Having $$$$ to get a GREAT attorney who will argue for you in court is a more impact than having to go in pro se with a few hours of document review and ideas from the volunteer attorneys at the shelter.  

 

That's a problem that more money can definitely help more effectively solve.  

 

Also, as someone who was homeless as a child, um, yeah.  That problem could have been solved by my parents being able to earn more $$$.  

 

That's exactly his point.  If you have money to buy your way out of  a situation then its not much of a problem for you. As someone who also grew up in poverty its easy for me to forget that things which were real problems growing up (lack of food, car breakdowns) are now either nonexistent or just inconveniences.   I don't think money is a guarantee of happiness but it definitely gives you a much better shot.  

[Seeking Squirrels]

I don't think it can buy happiness, but it can make happiness more attainable. Having money does make a big difference. Not enough money is stressful. It makes life harder and it affects a lot of little every day decisions. It may not be able to make a person happy who is just generally a miserable crabby person. But for someone who is not a crab at heart, yes, I do think it can make for a happier life. Being able to afford a house and car that fits my needs would make me happier than being stuck in a small apartment with a two-door car. Being able to afford a housekeeper because I am *terrible* at it and have too much on my plate would make me happier than stressing over the state of the house daily. Being able to have DH finish his degree without a pile of loans, or better yet taking a bit of time off work to really hit it to get it over with instead of 1-2 classes for years would bring about much happiness. There are definitely a lot of ways money would make me happier.

 

As I've seen it said on fb:

Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy Doctor Who stuff and tickets to ComicCon and that would make me happy. :-)

 

 

[Crimson Wife]

Money doesn't buy happiness but how many times have we heard that the #1 thing couples fight about is money? So I think having enough money might relieve a lot of stress.

 

The fight usually isn't really about money in many cases. It's usually about something deeper and the finances is just the catalyst.

 

DH's and my fights tend to be more about our respective upbringings than about money per se. He grew up lower-middle-class and his parents were against ANY debt, regardless of what it was used for. I grew up upper-middle-class with parents who met as MBA in finance students. They viewed debt as a strategic tool that could be leveraged when appropriate to make more money in the long run. I learned early about "good" debt vs. "bad" debt whereas DH learned early that ALL debt is HORRIBLY EVIL AND SHOULD BE AVOIDED AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!! So he has this huge psychological issue with debt even when he acknowledges that the math shows the smart decision is to invest in something with a higher probable rate of return. Drives me nuts but there you have it.

[SKL]

Well here's a weird aside inspired by my 9yo kid.  This is my materialistic, more is more kid.  She told me last night that she often feels bad being spoiled with so many things when her birth mom is living in poverty in a developing country.  Then she started making flyers for a fundraiser for the poor people in that country.

 

No, I don't think money makes you happy.  I think, for a person who is mentally healthy, money comes with responsibility that is felt.  The responsibility can become guilt if it is ignored.  But a person who views money as a tool to do good will be free of such guilt.  So it really depends once again on the person's basic mindset.

[JFSinIL]

No, but it can, if invested and not squandered, secure one's future so at least there is one thing less to worry about. But it can not buy true friends, or love, or health, or make one a decent, honest person if not one already.

[jelbe5]

My dad and I had this conversation years ago.

 

We live in the Chicagoland area. Some years ago one of the young men who was an heir to the Walgreens fortune died of a drug overdose. His girlfriend and mother of his children lost custody and also died of a drug overdose. Here is a very wealthy, powerful family with terrible, heartbreaking trouble.

 

In my opinion, money could certainly help a situation which may eventually bring happiness (i.e. Therapy or drug treatment, etc.). But I do not believe having money guarantees happiness.

 

Americans are very wealthy compared to so many in other parts of the world. Yet so many struggle with discontent and unhappiness. I am not talking about those who face mental illness but rather those who are always seeking something external to make them happy. In that situation money may bring temporary happiness but not necessarily lasting contentment and joy.

Edited February 8, 2016 by jelbe5

[J-rap]

You can be happy without much money if everything is going well:  enough $ to feel safe and well-fed; good, loving relationships; good health, etc.

 

If things aren't going as well, then money really can help make a difference between feeling happy, even despite difficult circumstances.

[mamiof5]

The other is that you can "buy" happiness through finding an excellent (qualified) therapist who is s good got for you -- and paying them copious (appropriate) amounts of money to walk you through the hard work of dealing with issues that are causing unhappiness. Psychology is real, and finding someone who knows the shortcuts (or the effective hard work) towards happiness is worth good money.

It's so interesting to see different perspectives in life. I'd never spend money in a psychologist, that's just me :)

[Guest]

More money = more options, better choices available. I don't think more money makes a grumpy, miserable person happy, but people with more options and better choices are happier and raise kids who are more likely to be happy as well. When people are consumed with stress over lack of money to do what they need (let alone want), they have no mental energy (or physical energy) left over to do things that increase happiness; i.e., meet a friend for lunch, volunteer/assist in meaningful ways, replace or repair things that don't work properly, provide opportunities for their kids.

[mamiof5]

Tough question. I think it really depends on what happiness means for everyone? I am not much of a "luxury" gal (not into expensive clothing, purses etc)...if I had extra $300 would definitely not spend it in a purse (regardless of how much money I had). I'm trying to shoot for Heaven, and hopefully my husband and kids too. If money can help us become more Holy, give to others, feed the poor...then sure, money can buy happiness, sort of? Just not sure. Yes, it would be nice to have a guaranteed retirement and college paid for my kids, but I am not sure that I can say money buys happiness. It might make life easier in many ways, but an easier life doesn't always guarantees a happier life.

[Mergath]

It's so interesting to see different perspectives in life. I'd never spend money in a psychologist, that's just me :)

 

Then you're lucky you've never been in a place in your life where you needed to see a psychologist. 

[Mergath]

I think money can buy happiness, but only very, very briefly.

 

Imo, we all have a sort of happiness baseline that we default to. Wonderful things- like an influx of cash when you've been broke for a long time- can raise our happiness level, and really awful things can lower it, but we never stray too far from our baseline. The human brain is extremely adaptable, and we get used to life changes, both good and bad, very quickly.

 

I'd say that my happiness baseline is above average. I was happy overall when dh was unemployed and we were living on food stamps and welfare. I had bad days and many stresses, don't get me wrong, but I was happy in general. Even so, I used to think, "My god, think how happy I'll be if dh finds a good job and we can claw our way up to the middle class!"

 

Well, dh has a decent job that pays a solid middle class income for our area.  He makes many times as much money as we had on assistance.  And for the first month or two, we were extremely happy. Just being able to pay the rent and the bills and have plenty of money left over for food and other things felt like winning the lottery. And I'd say it took me maybe two months for that to wear off and for me to return to my "normal" level of happiness.

 

My stresses are different now, but I'm no happier than I was when we were dirt poor.  If we won the lottery, I'm sure I'd be giddy for a few months, then my brain would adapt, filthy rich would become my new normal, and I'd return once again to my baseline happiness level.

[LucyStoner]

That's exactly his point. If you have money to buy your way out of a situation then its not much of a problem for you. As someone who also grew up in poverty its easy for me to forget that things which were real problems growing up (lack of food, car breakdowns) are now either nonexistent or just inconveniences. I don't think money is a guarantee of happiness but it definitely gives you a much better shot.

I totally agree.

 

I continuously experience a feeling of oh sh!t when little things come up which vanishes a moment later when it hits me that I'm not impoverished anymore. Flat tire! Oh, I have roadside assistance and money for a new tire. Broken eyeglasses! Oh wait, we can afford to replace these and our insurance will pay most of it! Huge electric bill! Oh wait, we have money to pay this. It's like I am not quote to the point where I realize it.will.be.ok.and.no.one.will.be.living.in.a.van. I recall the first time I spent $500 at Costco (all on food) and was like "hold up, that's more money than my parents had to get us through the whole month at times."

[AmandaVT]

Money can take away worries about the basics, the four walls: food, clothing, shelter and transportation.

 

It can also reduce worries about health care and educational costs. These 6 categories and budgeting for them are where my own money concerns are found.

 

Money can provide for higher quality of food and clothing, and allow for more discretionary recreational spending, things which I can see as making one happier.

 

I don't think the best way to look at it is "money makes people happy." I would agree that "proper funding can alleviate anxiety."

 

That said, money cannot buy sane and rational family members, it cannot curb approval seeking, it can fuel keeping-up-with-the-joneses syndrome.

So even if you have a lot of money, it won't necessarily make you happy.

 

Seasider worded how I feel better than I could have- thank you Seasider! :-)

 

When we were making much less and had a much higher interest rate on our mortgage and were trying to renovate the house, we were very stressed and worried about finances constantly. DH telling me that he was low on contact lens solution would cause me to have to redo the grocery budget so we wouldn't run out of money before the next payday and our cars were so old and beat that when my aunt died, we had to rent a car, spending that week's grocery budget to get to her funeral. Things are looser, financially, now. We're not rich, but needing contact lens solution doesn't cause panic and our cars get us where we need to go. I can also afford to fill my car up with gas instead of putting in $5 when on empty and I can buy a whole package of TP at once instead of 1 roll at a time. We still have rice and beans regularly, but because we like it not because we can't afford anything else. 

[Guest]

I totally agree.

 

I continuously experience a feeling of oh sh!t when little things come up which vanishes a moment later when it hits me that I'm not impoverished anymore. Flat tire! Oh, I have roadside assistance and money for a new tire. Broken eyeglasses! Oh wait, we can afford to replace these and our insurance will pay most of it! Huge electric bill! Oh wait, we have money to pay this. It's like I am not quote to the point where I realize it.will.be.ok.and.no.one.will.be.living.in.a.van. I recall the first time I spent $500 at Costco (all on food) and was like "hold up, that's more money than my parents had to get us through the whole month at times."

Yes, this is the big difference for me, too, having grown up poor. My washing machine broke. I wasn't happy about it, but it wasn't a crisis. I remember my mom's washer breaking and it stayed broken for a long, long time.

[gardenmom5]

No, but it can, if invested and not squandered, secure one's future so at least there is one thing less to worry about. But it can not buy true friends, or love, or health, or make one a decent, honest person if not one already.

 

this is actually a myth.  the security that is purchased is just an illusion.

 

I've known people who invested  wisely - and things (re: market forces, etc.)  beyond their control wiped them  out.  dh's grandfather was a VERY successful small business owner.  his was just one business that went under during the depression.

[SKL]

Having traveled through developing countries where middle class people only dream of what most "poor" Americans have, and seen the genuine smiles and warmth all around, I know happiness doesn't cost the kind of money Americans tend to think it does.  Yes, it would be hard to be happy if you were watching your child literally starve, but short of that, the potential for happiness is not connected with money.  Spiritual environment has a much bigger impact.

[tm919]

I think there is a general correlation between money and happiness, but there are diminishing returns. At a certain point, more money doesn't matter that much, but with the constant awareness of things like retirement and college expenses, that point is probably increasing as well.

 

I also think we have a strong tendency to want to believe that people who have more money aren't happier, kind of like those articles about celebrities who have aged terribly. :p

[elegantlion]

I think part of the implied notion of "money cannot buy happiness" is that those without money are unhappy. That is not universally true. 

 

In our history class we're talking about the early civilizations whose only job they had time to do was not die. All their time and energy went into survival for food and shelter and not dying. If you look at Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, money can buy you air, food, water, shelter, and clothing. It can also buy you safety, not talking wealthy safety, but a better neighborhood, as Lucy Stoner said, the ability to get out abusive situations or as Quill pointed out, the ability to repair an appliance without issue. 

 

I think once you reach love and esteem those come from character, not money. 

 

But it is hard to be broke in this country where our standard of needs is much higher. Sure you can use the computer at the library assuming you can get there when they are open. You can get food at food banks, again assuming you have means to get there. 

 

There are perks to being broke here too. I get need based aid for school. I'm still taking on large loans and will greater than average, but I get scholarships too and some other support for single parents. I also don't have to agonize over some decisions about where to go and what to do. The answer is dictated by the amount of cash in my pocket. I splurged and ordered girl scout cookies from a friend's dd this year. I had to make sure they would arrive when I knew I'd have a little bit of extra money. 

 

People abuse money and people can abuse their lack of money. I heard once that money (or the lack thereof) only reveals the character you already have. 

 

Am I unhappy? Not really. Am I unhappy about the circumstances that could easily be fixed with some money? Absolutely. 

 

The drive to school today did take twice as long. The roads were terrible and within a 10 mile period, we saw 4 accidents. It took me until noon to calm my nerves. It's not something I would have thought about if I lived in the other town because they barely got the snow we did. 

[mamiof5]

Then you're lucky you've never been in a place in your life where you needed to see a psychologist.

Sadly I have, one too many times. Thank God I have been able to get through, have resorted to prayer, God is my psychologist.

[madteaparty]

This question reminds me of one posed by a Bible study leader twelve years ago or so . . . while I was an unmarried 20-something attorney in NY. She asked us: "Has anything you bought ever *really* made you happy?" I think the answer was supposed to be "No, things can't make one happy," but I felt like that wouldn't be quite honest as I had just bought myself a beautiful Prada overcoat that made me very, very happy. So at the risk of sounding shallow, I pointed out that absolutely, things can make one happy. I would never make such an extravagant purchase now as a SAHM, but I still like having a lovely overcoat. It continues to make me happy every time I wear it!

My wood stove makes me happy too. Probably similar cost to your coat ;) maybe money buys warmth and warmth is happiness ;)

[StephanieZ]

Statistically, I think that money does buy happiness up to a certain point of comfort and security. I.e., being actually fairly poor and worrying about food/housing/health/college expenses actually makes it pretty hard to be happy. So, getting past that point, statistically, makes for more happiness. Statistically, I don't think more money beyond that makes people happier.

 

Personally, I know plenty of people who are well off (say top 5% of income/wealth). Many of them are happy; many are not so happy. Some have crappy marriages, some have mean spirits, some work way too much, some are just not mentally well or stable enough to have solid marriages or have screwed up with their kids. Some are awesomely happy. 

 

I think some people are gonna' be unhappy no matter their wealth. If someone is mean, hateful, greedy, mentally unwell, etc, they are likely to have unstable and unhappy lives. Some people are just unhappy period, no matter their wealth or blessings. A few people are going to be happy *no matter what*. Those few rare souls can be happy despite all sorts of hardships, you know those people you read about who count their blessings when their kid dies . . . Other people, probably the large middle of us, self included, "have what it takes" to be happy, and they are going to be mostly happy if life doesn't get in their way. I'm really happy. I was happy when we struggled financially as young business owners, and I was happy when we were going-into-debt grad students, but I admit that having a good amount money makes lots of fun happy-making things easier and more commonplace in our lives, and I don't discount that. If I didn't think money made it easier to be happy, I probably wouldn't go to the effort I do to ensure we have money! The times when we've struggled financially were definitely less happy due to the strain of not knowing if we were going to be OK. Being relatively poor grad students didn't make me unhappy, because I wasn't *worried* about our future. I was fine then, but I knew we'd have more later. I didn't worry about not being able to take care of my kids or myself. Being actually worried about taking care of my family financially when we were a bit older but taking a lot of risks financially to start up our business, yeah, that was painful and was nearly an all consuming stressor. I'm glad that recession ended and we got our business launched successfully, lol. For some families, those hard times go on and on and on, and so it seems obvious to me that it'd be a lot harder to be happy in those circumstances. 

[klmama]

Am I the only one reading this question that is thinking of that Chris Janson song, Buy Me a Boat?  For those country-music-haters among you, I'm talking about this one:  http://www.metrolyrics.com/buy-me-a-boat-lyrics-chris-janson.html  You may see a vadio pop-up with a music video to listen.  (For those wondering what he's talking about, the Yeti 110 is an ice chest, and the silver bullets are Coors beer in silver cans.)  At least when I watched, there was a fun flash mob dance to Julie Andrews singing Do Re Mi right afterward.  ETA:  After watching it again, I got Louis Armstrong next, so there doesn't appear to be a planned order.

 

Anyway, in response to the question, no. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a boat, a truck, a horse, a vacation, and a lot of other things that bring people a lot of pleasure. 

 

 

 

 

Edited February 9, 2016 by klmama

[Guest]

....

Edited June 22, 2016 by Guest

[Mergath]

Sadly I have, one too many times. Thank God I have been able to get through, have resorted to prayer, God is my psychologist.

 

How lovely for you. I prefer my psychologist to have completed a post-graduate program accredited by the APA.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

The only time money can't buy happiness is when you already have it.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

How lovely for you. I prefer my psychologist to have completed a post-graduate program accredited by the APA.

 

Agreed.

[AimeeM]

..

Edited February 9, 2016 by AimeeM

[Tap]

When my husband made $20,000 a year more than he does now....yes, I was much happier.  I didn't have to scrimp and save to provide a few luxuries.  We were putting money in savings each month and still had a bit to play with each month.  It was the only time we went on a vacation away from home, that didn't require us to stay at a friends house.  We were able to enjoy life a little. We went out for dinner at places that weren't fast food.  We could buy a coffee and a pastry and sit and chat.  Small luxuries, but luxuries none-the-less to us.  We didn't have fancy cars, boats and cruises. 

 

Now I work 6 days a week, to get 40 hours at work.  I stopped my own physical therapy so I could pay for my daughter to go instead. I wait to go to the doctor, just in case I can get away without paying a copay (this cost me a month of not treating a very itchy rash recently).  I still buy one cup of coffee a week, it is my one luxury. We don't eat out, except for 4 times per year (birthdays, except mine, since I can cook at home).  We are not poor.  We have luxuries, bills are paid, retirements still get money monthly, food is on the table....but it all comes with stress.

 

$20,000 was the difference between living in a stressful world, and not.  So, yes, money can buy a certain level of happiness to me. 

 

My daughter had a scholarship at a school where elementary tuition cost $17,000 per year.  I had friends there with 2-4 kids enrolled at a time.  :svengo: Those family had stresses about different things, but it wasn't if they could send 2 people to the physical therapist at the same time.  They had to decide if they wanted the Lexus vs the BMW. They had to determine if they were going to go on a Disney style vacation for Christmas, Winter, and Spring break or just 2 of the 3.. They had real world worries too...since their income was investment related, they were very, very worried when the market crashed.  They had family issues. They had medical issues. But how they solved them revolved around what was the best fit for the family, not what they could afford.

[mathnerd]

Yes. It can indeed buy happiness - my friend had an unhappy marriage (emotionally abusive husband who blamed her for everything that was wrong in the world) and the mental stress brought on a lot of health problems for her including rheumatoid arthritis and kidney failure (she got these 2 conditions within 1.5 years of marrying this guy). She said that her whole body was malfunctioning due to the massive amounts of stress. Long story short, she divorced him, he was wealthy and she got the house in our very high COL area, she is an engineer working in a high tech company, so was making a ton of money. She is rich. So, when she was put on a waiting list for a donor kidney, she flew to China and paid for a matching kidney and got a transplant in a luxury hospital with 4 reputed surgeons operating on her. She paid cash for it (she says that it did not cost much compared to US rates) and was back to work in 6 weeks. She says that her money helped her regain her life and health again. She says that she would have been unhappy if she had been put on a waiting list like most people and had to wait for years on dialysis. She is getting married to her new boyfriend next year and is very happy though she is on a lot of medications, she is able to manage her health issues and still have fun and travel and work etc like a normal person. 

 

I tend to agree that when it is a matter of life and death, if having money can help a person beat the odds, then it definitely helps to have lots of it.

 

Personally, I am not materialistic and material things are not what make me happy, but, I would like lots of $$$ to pay for my child's college costs in the future (that would make me happy! :) ).

Edited February 9, 2016 by mathnerd

[mamiof5]

How lovely for you. I prefer my psychologist to have completed a post-graduate program accredited by the APA.

Glad that works for you. I don't know... we are all human (post graduate program or not, we are all people). Anyway, we can agree to disagree. My post wasn't meant to upset anyone... I just honestly like to read the different perspectives, that was all. I do have to say my method is cheaper, can't afford psychologist's fees :P

[mamiof5]

Had to chuckle when I read earlier about some guy and friends who paid over $20000 for 4 (or 5) Superbowl tickets and like $9000 to stay in a nearby hotel? I guess money bought happiness for them? I just can't fathom spending that amount of money for any type of event. And the funniest thing was that he didn't want his wife to find out?? Lol! He really made me chuckle :)

[creekland]

Had to chuckle when I read earlier about some guy and friends who paid over $20000 for 4 (or 5) Superbowl tickets and like $9000 to stay in a nearby hotel? I guess money bought happiness for them? I just can't fathom spending that amount of money for any type of event. And the funniest thing was that he didn't want his wife to find out?? Lol! He really made me chuckle :)

 

I hope it wasn't on a credit card he couldn't pay off or coming from their retirement fund!

 

I'm not totally sure I believe the wife comment.  Did she think he was going on a fishing trip?  Or maybe he told her it cost less than it did?

 

I've never watched a Super Bowl in my life, so can't relate to spending money on that, but if he truly had it as spending money to spend - more power to him.  Use it as you want.  That's how the economy keeps money spread around.  I assume his wife also has a similar pot she can pull from for her whims.  If not, something's not right...

[Guest]

But it is hard to be broke in this country where our standard of needs is much higher. Sure you can use the computer at the library assuming you can get there when they are open. You can get food at food banks, again assuming you have means to get there.

Exactly. It is Relative Poverty that matters. Sure, someone who is poor in the USA may still be unimaginably wealthy compared to a poor person living in Mali who owns a goat, a mud hut and three bowls. But being poor by relative standards in a developed country is still full of stress. The negative outcomes can quickly snowball. If the earner becomes sick or has an accident, they may have a ton of fresh bills AND now no income. If the car breaks down, you are constantly juggling this decision - should I repair this old crappy car yet again? Or should I try to scrape together some money for a newer car that might not break down at the drop of a hat? My whole life I watched my parents make these trade-offs and I am sure I didn't know the half of it. There is no doubt in my mind that being poor, even just be relative, First World standards, is not a day at the park and I wanted to avoid it.

 

Now - I don't need to be a bazillionaire, and I don't care what brand of purse I carry. But having enough money to not be put in a desparate spot every time something breaks or someone has a medical need has always been an important goal to me.

[Night Elf]

It's so interesting to see different perspectives in life. I'd never spend money in a psychologist, that's just me :)

 

It must be nice to be in that position. Not everyone enjoys a state of mental well being. Some of us have mental problems thrust upon us without us asking for them.

[Lanny]

This is a true story. One I hadn't thought about for many years. When DD was a baby, we went to the house of a friend, in North Cali, to visit and there was a man visiting her from Orlando. He had and made a lot of money. I do not recall the details, but either he made about one million dollars per year or he had that much money. He told me, with absolute sincerity, that he would trade all the money he had (which he could make again), for what I had. I had a wife and we had a baby. I had a family.  He did not have a family. That was an emotional moment for me and I haven't forgotten that conversation and his comment.   Our family would certainly be happier with more money, we could fix the roof of our house and other things and travel, etc., but THE most important things, always, IMO, are health, safety and family. 

[Lolly]

I know a lot of wealthy people. I know a lot of poor people. I know a lot of middle income people. Happiness/sadness ratios are about the same between the groups. So, no, I don't think it does. The wealthy people do look happier on Facebook though. Facebook does not show reality.

Edited February 9, 2016 by Lolly

[mom2bee]

I don't know, I'd love the chance to test the theory.

 

I like the expression: While money can't buy happiness, it can help you suffer comfortably.

[Jane in NC]

Money may not buy happiness but, in the US, if you are too poor to pay for health and dental care, lack of money can assure misery.

 

I think that some people have a weird relationship with money.  Money is a tool, an economic construct. Misers are not happy despite their baskets of cash.

 

I suspect that age may bring about the desire for fewer gambles.  I would rather drive a well maintained car, for example, than risk driving a hoopdie but I can afford my newer little car for which I paid cash. If I did not have the money and since I live where a car is a necessity, I'd be driving a hoopdie.  Am I happier?  I may venture yes in this case but old cars with potential issues stress me out.  I have paid for car repairs for people because I hated the thought of someone I know having a car die on one of our dark country roads that we traverse.

 

[Bluegoat]

Am I the only one reading this question that is thinking of that Chris Janson song, Buy Me a Boat?  For those country-music-haters among you, I'm talking about this one:  http://www.metrolyrics.com/buy-me-a-boat-lyrics-chris-janson.html  You may see a vadio pop-up with a music video to listen.  (For those wondering what he's talking about, the Yeti 110 is an ice chest, and the silver bullets are Coors beer in silver cans.)  At least when I watched, there was a fun flash mob dance to Julie Andrews singing Do Re Mi right afterward.  ETA:  After watching it again, I got Louis Armstrong next, so there doesn't appear to be a planned order.

 

Anyway, in response to the question, no. Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a boat, a truck, a horse, a vacation, and a lot of other things that bring people a lot of pleasure. 

 

I don't know about this.  Yes, those things can bring enjoyment.  But on the other hand, the idea that people need things to be satisfied can in itself sabotage a lot of happieness.  And we all say "oh, the things I want are just the basics plus a bit extra."  But somehow - the basics depend an awful lot on your expectations.

 

I mean - are people in consumer cultures really happier?  I am not consinced they are.  The nice way to say it is they are aspirational, but often it seems to be more kind of discontent.