maize Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) And four year olds aren't silent, so being within hearing range does help - if they're silent, that's when you consider they're in trouble. I have toddlers, and yes, silence will alert me to go check on them--but not immediately. It's not an alert like a scream, and if my mind is elsewhere I won't notice right away. 'Course I'm the one who once realized I couldn't hear my two year old and started to stand up to go check on her--then realized she was on my lap nursing. No way would I trust myself to notice silence from the bathroom within seconds! Edited January 17, 2016 by maize 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Squirrels Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 And four year olds aren't silent, so being within hearing range does help - if they're silent, that's when you consider they're in trouble. Exactly. When we first started leaving oldest alone, I would tell her to sing a song or something if she started playing too quietly. Even now when our 7 & 3 bathe together so we don't stay in the room, it's when they get quiet that we check on them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 But you would hear the clunk from another room. And nowadays, aren't most bathtubs plastic? Ours are. How many kids 4 and over have drowned in bathtubs in the past 10 years? DH didn't hear ME fall in our bathtub, and I'm significantly clunkier than a 30lb preschooler. I guess it depends on the insulation and acoustics in each house. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 DH didn't hear ME fall in our bathtub, and I'm significantly clunkier than a 30lb preschooler. I guess it depends on the insulation and acoustics in each house. Yeah, I would never leave a young child in a bathtub where I couldn't hear at all for an extended time period. In my house, you can hear someone hiccup a couple rooms away. Two girls in the bathtub make a constant sound. It is immediately clear (at least to me) when it is no longer two girls playing happily in the bathtub. The stats I found show there are about 3 cases per year of 4yo kids drowning in bathtubs (and the figure is declining). (The numbers for 2-3yos are also pretty low.) Two of the three examples posted above include kids who either fell without parents knowing they were around the water (so not listening for the telltale sounds), or kids whose parent allowed them to fill the bathtub vs. limiting the amount of water. With such a small number of cases, it is also possible that some of the 3 per year are actually intentional incidents passed off as accidents by the caregivers. While others may involve kids who have special needs and aren't comparable to the typical 4yo. Bottom line, parents can reasonably decide that their preschoolers are safe in the tub or not. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 ETA since you reference leaving a 2 year old, those stories are actually much easier to find: http://fox13now.com/2015/01/15/2-year-old-girl-drowns-after-mother-leaves-room-to-help-other-child/ and a fact sheet on in-home drownings: https://www.cpsc.gov/PageFiles/18414/drwnstat.pdf In your linked fact sheet, the # of 2yos was similar to the # of 4yos drowned in the bathtub. The # of 3yos was even less than that of 4yos. Bottom line is that it's so rare at these ages, it is more of a freak accident than a statistical risk. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 My kids have almost always wanted another sib in the bathtub with them (or outside the tub - providing splashing opportunities) at the age of 4. We just didn't have the opportunity to leave them in the tub alone for bathing. (The current youngest child requests to have someone in the bathroom with him to 'play with' (listen to him tell some story) during bathtime. I come in at the beginning or end to do hair. They transition to showers at 6-8, depending on the kid. We provide start-up assistance & supervision for a period of time during the learning-to-shower-on-one's-own phase and eventually leave them to their own devices once they prove they can do it themselves. We have one on start-up assistance with reminders (don't forget to wash such-and-such), three completely independent (with the caveats, below), and one still doing primary tub-bathing. One sometimes still doesn't get all the conditioner out of her hair. Another has been known to periodically forget which one goes on first - shampoo or conditioner? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 In your linked fact sheet, the # of 2yos was similar to the # of 4yos drowned in the bathtub. The # of 3yos was even less than that of 4yos. Bottom line is that it's so rare at these ages, it is more of a freak accident than a statistical risk. I imagine fewer parents leave 2 year olds alone than leave 4 year olds alone. I do think it is reasonable for a parent to make the judgment call as to when a child can be in the tub without direct supervision. I was responding to the posts that basically said "I can't imagine what people are worried about"--as if a young child drowning in the tub were a preposterous concern. Yes the statistical risk is small, I'm sure my children are at greater risk every time I buckle them in the car. But it is a real risk and a valid concern nonetheless. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 'Course I'm the one who once realized I couldn't hear my two year old and started to stand up to go check on her--then realized she was on my lap nursing. No way would I trust myself to notice silence from the bathroom within seconds! LOL, we all have our strengths and weaknesses! I'm not going to criticize anybody who is concerned about drowning with their typically developing, able-bodied four year old - so long as they don't sit around and criticize me in turn. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 No, the concern with preschoolers is that they can slip and hit their head and drown. I don't think many children drown themselves for fun. Yup. My 3 year old is sloshing around in there and if I don't keep telling him to stay seated he will stand up and in general be totally unsafe. i don't see that changing in the next year. I will leave him if he's bathing with the 5 year old, because she knows to tell him to sit down or yell for me. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 For me the danger might be the darn faucet head. We used to have one of those rubber covers on it, but it got moldy and was too hard to clean. I could see a child slipping whether it was a bath or shower. I'm not saying you can't step away, but how far you go and how long you're gone would probably have a lot to do with the behavior of the individual child and the house layout, etc. Also, is the child a "just turned 4" 4 year old or a "almost 5 year old" 4 year old? lol I still remember when I went to McDonald's with a friend and they criticized me for making ds go with me to order our food and not allow him to go out to the play area alone. I think he had just turned 4 at the time. He's not particularly mature and there was also an exit to the outside of the building either connected to or very close to the playground. My comfort level was more important to me to care what she thought was appropriate or not for a 4 yr old. and she understood a bit more once I explained that he had just had a birthday. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alte Veste Academy Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 Not all children think it is acceptable to flood the bathroom floor or dump the shampoos. :p :smilielol5: Oh, my kids knew it wasn't acceptable. Imps. LOL 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 My almost 7 yo still needs help with her hair and getting properly clean a couple of times a week. Actually my 9yo probably does too, but I figure he is a little too old so leave it with little reminders about shampoo and soap and conditioner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 My big kids were 4 and 6. We have yet to have a (foster) child under 15 who could do a decent job. Obviously, with the 15yo, I just hollered reminders through the door after buying him special soap and such. Most of our kids have been under 8. Between 3 and 8, we guide and work our way out of being needed. I could see leaving a 4yo to do the next step; but need to be in hearing range and check often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 At 4, I would do his shampoo and let him help wash his body and then he'd play in the tub for a bit. I'd be in and out of the bathroom - folding laundry or something similar. At 7 1/2, I remind him to please not forget shampoo and try not to get any water on the bathroom floor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) Do people really think average 4 yos are unsafe in a half full bathtub alone for a few minutes while you're in earshot? Because I don't really buy that that's unsafe unless there's a specific reason. Yes. I do not think it's safe for 4yos to sit in a tub full of water. Slips/falls/drownings still happen at that age. By 5yo, my kids have had non-parent and tot swim lessons and are more water safety conscious. Edited January 18, 2016 by Sneezyone 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I don't remember, but it was definitely not at 4. At the very least I had to help with washing hair for quite some time after that. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 Do people really think average 4 yos are unsafe in a half full bathtub alone for a few minutes while you're in earshot? Because I don't really buy that that's unsafe unless there's a specific reason. I think the number one reason not to let 4 yos bathe alone are the ones that were original mentioned - they splash water everywhere, mix the soaps, create bathroom chaos, and don't actually wash their hair or bodies. Earshot and checking sure I think that's ok. If they are in earshot then to me they aren't really alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) Yeah, I would never leave a young child in a bathtub where I couldn't hear at all for an extended time period. In my house, you can hear someone hiccup a couple rooms away. Two girls in the bathtub make a constant sound. It is immediately clear (at least to me) when it is no longer two girls playing happily in the bathtub. The stats I found show there are about 3 cases per year of 4yo kids drowning in bathtubs (and the figure is declining). (The numbers for 2-3yos are also pretty low.) Two of the three examples posted above include kids who either fell without parents knowing they were around the water (so not listening for the telltale sounds), or kids whose parent allowed them to fill the bathtub vs. limiting the amount of water. With such a small number of cases, it is also possible that some of the 3 per year are actually intentional incidents passed off as accidents by the caregivers. While others may involve kids who have special needs and aren't comparable to the typical 4yo. Bottom line, parents can reasonably decide that their preschoolers are safe in the tub or not. Those numbers may also be declining because of more parent supervision. I think today's parents are more aware of the risks. Edited January 17, 2016 by Sneezyone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 LOL-- Just thinking of when my son, at an older age than four, came out of the bath and said, "Mom, feel my arm! It's so smooth!" Turned out I'd left a razor out on the rim of the bathtub and he'd used it while bathing... :leaving: We had a small "talk" about safety afterwards. :lol: 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) Those numbers nay also be declining because of more parent supervision. I think today's parents are more aware of the risks. Although I said incidents were declining, I should have been more clear - the total incidents for ages 0-4 are declining, but I don't know how that breaks down age-wise. So that probably isn't relevant to the present discussion. My bad. I am not sure that today's parents are more aware of drowning risks. I remember my mom telling me 40 years ago about the risks of tots drowning in a bucket or toilet because they are top-heavy and can't get themselves out once they fall in. I remember Bette Davis's The Nanny (1965), where a tot bangs her head in the tub and ends up drowned. I think the risk of infants drowning if left alone in a tub of water is patently obvious and always has been, though some people still screw up. I do think risks are recently decreasing because tubs are softer and people aren't filling them as full. Edited January 17, 2016 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I knew a family whose toddler drowned in the toilet. :( :( :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cera2 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) At 5 I let my oldest take a shower alone if it wasn't a hair washing day. I would step into the bathroom to check on her every few minutes and remind her that she needed to use soap and scrub certain body parts. She was absolutely not aloud to touch the faucet and we lived in a house where water temp was never affected by water being used elsewhere. I would generally just have her jump in with me on nights her hair had to be washed and help her with it then I would get out and let her finish showering alone. At 4 I let my younger shower with her older sister all of the above still applied. At 6 or so each of mine started showering alone sometimes but still preferred to shower with her sister. By 5 and 7 they were both getting pretty good about washing their hair and would help each other out. I would still have them jump in with me once a week so I could do a really good job washing their hair though. By 7 and 9 they were taking the majority of their showers alone and fully responsible for their hair except for the rare occasion that I noticed it needed extra work and would jump in with them. eta: Mine have never been big on baths but both were swimming independently as 4 year olds and would sometimes want to "swim" in the tub. I would let them but check on them every couple of minutes (and could always here them talking to themselves the whole time). Edited January 17, 2016 by cera2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 (edited) I did not leave my kids at preschool age unaccompanied in the bathtub. That is just crazy talk. ETA - I went back and read other responses. If you chose to leave your 3-5 year old alone in the bathroom, that's up to you. Know your own kid. I know 2 children under the age of 7 personally that drowned in situations that most parents would think is absolutely fine. I'm a neurotic helicopter parent when it comes to young kids and water and I'm not afraid to admit it. My kids could SHOWER at a pretty early age though and we switched over to showers fairly young. Although, at the beginning we'd help them wash their hair in the shower. Edited January 17, 2016 by WoolySocks 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 At what age do you allow or encourage your children to bathe themselves? Without supervision? Opposite parent bathing or supervision? --- Without going in to detail, we have been told that 4 years old is too old to be bathed by a parent and the child should be bathing independently. I disagree. I don't believe a four year old is capable of taking care of personal hygiene without adult help or supervision. The chance of drowning or having an accident for a young child is possible. Not too mention that a child that young probably wouldn't remember to wash everything that needed to be washed or wash it properly. Hair washing and rinsing can be difficult enough with adult assistance. I am simply flabbergasted at the notion of a 4 year old being solely responsible for what happens during bath time. Five, I asked her to be responsible but I still check frequently. OTOH, we moved into a home with no bathtubs (showers only) and not even enough room to lie down, so I feel checking on them every five minutes is sufficient. Also, my kids sing in the shower! I am not sure what my instincts would have told me if they did not sing in the shower. As it is I felt fine being in the kitchen while the five-year-old showered alone. I think the idea that four is too old to be bathed by a parent is very odd. I'm not sure why that would be the case. Some children need help. Some kids can't even reach their own butts to wipe well at that age, LOL! We are long-armed but my cousin has short kids... she wiped their butts until kindergarten, as a practical matter. I imagine she also washed their hair, and was right to do so. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 I knew a family whose toddler drowned in the toilet. :( :( :( I'm so sorry! How tragic. :( 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I do think risks are recently decreasing because tubs are softer and people aren't filling them as full. You keep saying this, but it doesn't make much sense to me. I mean, my tub is enamel over cast iron, but all the same - are plastic tubs actually *softer*? Like... padded? Or squishy somehow? I've banged my head on wooden cabinet doors, and on my tub, and once getting out of the tub I fell and banged my head on the litterbox which was ew, and it hurt the same every time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Well there are still some porcelain tubs out there, but more and more of them are plastic. And plastic tubs aren't as hard to bang your noggin on as porcelain tubs. So less likely little kids will knock themselves out while taking a bath. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Not sure how common plastic is, when we replaced our tub the plumber strongly recommended cast iron/enamel as better quality. Only place I remember having a plastic tub was when we rented a trailer home for a bit. Plastic shower enclosures I have seen a lot of. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sneezyone Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Even the plastic ones have 2x4s underneath to support the weight of the water and people. They are not soft. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Not sure how common plastic is, when we replaced our tub the plumber strongly recommended cast iron/enamel as better quality. Only place I remember having a plastic tub was when we rented a trailer home for a bit. Plastic shower enclosures I have seen a lot of. Many people rent. Plastic is extremely common. That said I'm not counting on it to prevent drowning. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seeking Squirrels Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Some comments seem to go with the idea that a shower is safer than a bath, because of no standing water I presume. I just want to point out that accidents during a shower can still be dangerous. My step-sister was about 15 when she had a seizure in the shower. She fell in such a way that her body blocked the drain and it began filling. Her step-mom found her just before the water would have risen too high. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Some comments seem to go with the idea that a shower is safer than a bath, because of no standing water I presume. I just want to point out that accidents during a shower can still be dangerous. My step-sister was about 15 when she had a seizure in the shower. She fell in such a way that her body blocked the drain and it began filling. Her step-mom found her just before the water would have risen too high. While I agree that it is important to keep contact with a kid in the shower as well, particularly pre-schoolers, this is impossible in our shower because it is not 3" high. It really sucks, actually, as a place to get clean, but whatever. If you are on your back, even if you block the drain, the shower would have to be pointed directly at your face (super hard to do) in order to drown. So perhaps that's what people are thinking of. Not, showers in a bath tub, but showers in a shower-only place. I still agree with you that it's possible to drown in a shower--I just think it's much, much less likely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Children can drown in less than 2 inches of water, so there's no magic level at which you can fill a bath and be sure a young child is safe. One issue not mentioned here yet is the risk of burns if a child turns on the hot tap. If you don't have your hot water set to below 120F, children can burn quickly, especially if they are under 5. Their skin is thinner. I supervised my girls in the bath till the oldest was around 7. They transitioned to showers not long after, but still needed help with hair washing for a number of years. I have no idea how long I supervised ds in the bath. I think I got pretty sick of sitting in the bathroom, and I transitioned him to showers earlier. Again, I helped him with his hair for quite some time. Personally, I'm uncomfortable with leaving children under the age of 6 unsupervised around water. Everything here, ITA. I'm wondering why anyone would be in such a hurry to get them bathing with no supervision. I really don't get that. That was not a regret I wanted the possibility of having in my life; ,"well, I thought she was fine in the tub, I was just one room away, talking to a client on the phone..." 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I think 4 is okay for girls, but there are frequently trips to the sink for hair rinsing, or back into the tub for neck & behind the ear scrubbing. IME boys need help until more like 6. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I wasn't in a hurry to get them bathing with no supervision. Youngest loved bath time and I saw no need to rush her play time in the tub. She also wanted to be left alone to play. She was fine and we never had a single issue. If I kept my dds from doing things that someone else had a bad or horrible experience with, they would get to do nothing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 All my dc were using the shower (vs bathtub) around age 4 but with me washing them. They started washing themselves and being mostly independent around 6yo, except for dd who needed me to help her wash her hair until she was about 10yo. The boys had really short hair so shampooing (or not) was not a big deal so I let them manage themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Well everyone should do what they feel comfortable doing based on knowing their own kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Children can drown in less than 2 inches of water, so there's no magic level at which you can fill a bath and be sure a young child is safe. One issue not mentioned here yet is the risk of burns if a child turns on the hot tap. If you don't have your hot water set to below 120F, children can burn quickly, especially if they are under 5. Their skin is thinner. I supervised my girls in the bath till the oldest was around 7. They transitioned to showers not long after, but still needed help with hair washing for a number of years. I have no idea how long I supervised ds in the bath. I think I got pretty sick of sitting in the bathroom, and I transitioned him to showers earlier. Again, I helped him with his hair for quite some time. Personally, I'm uncomfortable with leaving children under the age of 6 unsupervised around water. Water temperature is a good point, I've always kept mine turned down too low to scald, but even then it can be uncomfortable. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Regarding the hot water, we have always kept it at 120 or below. That is a basic safety issue in our home, aside from kids bathing alone. They definitely wash their hands alone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 (edited) I also completely disagree with the bolded that 4 is too old to have adult assistance. My kids weren't completely bathing independently until about 8. When I say completely independently, I mean getting the shower started/bath drawn, soaping and rinsing their hair properly, and getting towel dried. They could usually manage soap on their bodies before that, maybe around 6. At 4, an adult was still sitting in the bathroom or within close earshot while they bathed (they were not really interested in showers at that age, now that I think of it; the shower scared them both, actually). I let my opposite sex kids bathe together and splash around in the tub as long as they wanted. I think DD finally asked to bathe alone around 6-ish or so. Seriously, just tune out the uptight ninnies who think it's God-awful for an adult to see a child naked or assist them while taking care of general parental duties. At what age do you allow or encourage your children to bathe themselves? Without supervision? Opposite parent bathing or supervision? --- Without going in to detail, we have been told that 4 years old is too old to be bathed by a parent and the child should be bathing independently. I disagree. I don't believe a four year old is capable of taking care of personal hygiene without adult help or supervision. The chance of drowning or having an accident for a young child is possible. Not too mention that a child that young probably wouldn't remember to wash everything that needed to be washed or wash it properly. Hair washing and rinsing can be difficult enough with adult assistance. I am simply flabbergasted at the notion of a 4 year old being solely responsible for what happens during bath time. Edited January 18, 2016 by reefgazer 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Yes, my kids are 13 and 11 now, and I tell them they cannot shower without an adult home, because you just never know about freak accidents that could be preventable. I am concerned with falling and hitting the head, mainly. Some comments seem to go with the idea that a shower is safer than a bath, because of no standing water I presume. I just want to point out that accidents during a shower can still be dangerous. My step-sister was about 15 when she had a seizure in the shower. She fell in such a way that her body blocked the drain and it began filling. Her step-mom found her just before the water would have risen too high. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Not letting teens shower when home alone also boggles my mind. If they shouldn't, why is it okay for dh or myself? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Yes, my kids are 13 and 11 now, and I tell them they cannot shower without an adult home, because you just never know about freak accidents that could be preventable. I am concerned with falling and hitting the head, mainly. I felt this way about life jackets on the pier or boat. I think at around age 13, I lightened up about being on the pier with out one, but I often thought, just because they can swim doesn't mean there can't be an accident. I fully admit that drowning is a fear of mine, to an irrational level. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reefgazer Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Because I am willing to take that risk for myself and die, but I don't want that risk for my kids. Not letting teens shower when home alone also boggles my mind. If they shouldn't, why is it okay for dh or myself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 I am trying to remember. I believe at 4 I certainly let them play in the tub without me in the room. I would leave the door open and check in regularly. I am pretty sure I did a shampoo check and behind the ears check before they got out. I definitely remember doing rinses on them to get out all the shampoo. Around 5 I transitioned them to showers. I think my dd was closer to 8 before she managed to get all the shampoo out of her incredibly thick hair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Some comments seem to go with the idea that a shower is safer than a bath, because of no standing water I presume. I just want to point out that accidents during a shower can still be dangerous. My step-sister was about 15 when she had a seizure in the shower. She fell in such a way that her body blocked the drain and it began filling. Her step-mom found her just before the water would have risen too high. I've also been wondering about the risk of falling and just conking their head hard on the faucet or side of the tub. Even with a mat, our shower is pretty slippery. My son has sensory issues and hates water near his face so he still takes baths. He is able to wash his own hair and body now although he sometimes needs a last rinse. My daughter needs help getting all the shampoo, etc out of her hair. She also prefers baths but will do a quick shower off at the end to fully rinse off. She needs help getting it turned on and at the right temperature (even some adults do, our set-up is funky). We probably starting leaving them alone in the bathroom fairly young (4 or 5) but our house is really small and the bathroom opens up right off the living room, right behind the main seating. From my seat I can turn my head and see right into the bathroom. It's only been in the past year or so that we've allowed the bathroom door to be shut while they are in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Disclaimer: I didn't read the whole thread, so I'm responding only to the OP. That's nuts. Nobody should be saying anything to you about it. there's no law against a parent or guardian bathing a 4-year-old, and while I agree that children should be encouraged at younger ages to do more, that's definitely not what I have in mind. My idea is more laundry and mopping at younger ages. :lol: At about 4 1/2 to 5, I instruct them on washing their own genitals and bottoms and do everything else. And then as they grow I turn everything else over bit by bit, the hair is usually last because they don't get all the soap suds out. My youngest is washing everything but his back at a younger age than my oldest, but I'm in there with him, point out missed spots and such, and I wash his hair. DD still needs help rinsing her hair, sometimes. Sometimes she just wants company, so I'll sit on the counter while she showers. My middle probably needs supervision and remediation, for thoroughness reasons. He thinks that doing things fast is better than doing them well. They don't get baths much anymore; we have a hospital style shower head that detaches, so the two big ones shower normally, and I use the shower head like a hose for my little. If they bathed, I wouldn't trust my 8 year old not to splash. And I've fallen asleep in the tub at 8, myself. It happens. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Can I just interject a little sidebar and confess that I thought teaching the kids to shower well on their own was one of those parental taks I disliked a lot. Not quite as bad as teaching a teenager to drive, and less difficult than my experiences with potty training, but strongly in the same category. It is one of those things you have to experience to learn and the awkward results while learning...just, not my favorite thing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 I know I'm coming back to this late but thank you for the replies. They are appreciated. In the time since I created the thread we have changed bathtime and are working on more independence and less adult supervision while maintaining as much safety as we can. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 This is exactly why I think some parents want their children to be adults at a young age. If they don't want the responsibility of children, they shouldn't have children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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