Has anyone followed the coverage of the murder of Amanda Blackburn in Indy?

[unsinkable]

She was 12 weeks pregnant with a 1 year old. Her DH left to work out and she was raped and shot in the head. She died a couple days later.

 

Police said the DH is "100% cleared."

 

No arrests yet.

 

Here's the thing...he was the pastor at a startup church called Resonate. I am so surprised at how he talked about sex during his sermons. BC of the murder, people have linked his talks...and I don't know. I couldn't be a "pastor's wife" if that kind of talk about our sex life was part of the sermons.

[Mergath]

I haven't heard about this and don't particularly want to listen to his sermons... was he talking explicitly about their sex life in the sermons, and people think that may be connected to her murder?

[Peaceful Isle]

I heard about it last week, and was a little surprised it wasn't brought up here yet.

 

It is very sad, and I sure hope her dh had nothing to do with it. :(

People are talking that maybe he did it only because he was "gone to the gym", but I am not thinking one way or another. I just feel terrible for their families. What an awful thing to happen to anyone. 

[unsinkable]

I haven't heard about this and don't particularly want to listen to his sermons... was he talking explicitly about their sex life in the sermons, and people think that may be connected to her murder?

He did talk about their sex life during sermons.

 

I'm not sure if people think it is connected. I've read that people think he was being inappropriate and maybe doing it for shock value.

 

I'm concerned about her murder and finding the rapist/murderer first and foremost. Bc whoever did it is a dangerous man.

 

But...separately...watching the videos, it disturbed me. I hadn't seen anything like that before.

Edited November 22, 2015 by unsinkable

[unsinkable]

I heard about it last week, and was a little surprised it wasn't brought up here yet.

 

It is very sad, and I sure hope her dh had nothing to do with it. :(

People are talking that maybe he did it only because he was "gone to the gym", but I am not thinking one way or another. I just feel terrible for their families. What an awful thing to happen to anyone.

I know. Awful. Terrible. Words aren't adequate. That poor woman, pregnant and her little boy in the house.

 

They need to find who did it.

[MercyA]

Yes, we had a prayer request for her go out on our co-op list before she was taken off life support.  :( So incredibly sad.

[PrincessMommy]

I heard about it when it happened.  I heard her husband was a pastor and hadn't been home when it occured.  I thought they got survelience of the rapist and had put out a pretty detailed description.   Did that not come to anything?

 

I didn't know the dh was the kind to talk about his sex life in his sermons... yuck.   That would creep me out.

[Joker]

They say there are surveillance cameras somewhere nearby that show her husband leaving as well as at least one another man going in after he left. There was a robbery at a home nearby right before and they're saying they saw an opportunity when they saw the husband leave. The news also said they have questioned some men due to the footage.

 

I've watched none of his sermons and don't plan to.

Edited November 22, 2015 by Joker

[FaithManor]

A. If my husband talked about our sex life in any detail with others, I'd be unhappy. I don't talk about IRL with other people...not their business. As a pastor, talking about it in sermons is just extra disgusting in my book. T.M.I.! I mean, a tEa discussion here is fun because we are anonymous and we don't know each others' partners. But IRL, NO WAY!

 

B. I thought they had put out a fairly detailed description of the perpetrator. I have not seen an update though. I hope they catch him. It's one of those circumstances that makes me feel much less civilized than I actually am and think, "They should take him out back, hook his genitals up to a car battery, and shock the crap out of him before they tar and feather him and then put him in front of the firing squad."

 

C. Because I have these uncivilized thoughts about ways of handing out justice to killer rapists, it is probably for the best that I am not a member of law enforcement nor a judge.

 

Really, I am a fairly nice person!

 

This case makes me sick to my stomach though.

[sbgrace]

I'm not going to listen to his sermons.

I can't imagine the pain of that kind of loss, or what she experienced before she died.

Absolutely horrific.

Edited November 22, 2015 by sbgrace

[Audrey]

He did talk about their sex life during sermons.

 

I'm not sure if people think it is connected. I've read that people think he was being inappropriate and maybe doing it for shock value.

 

I'm concerned about her murder and finding the rapist/murderer first and foremost. Bc whoever did it is a dangerous man.

 

But...separately...watching the videos, it disturbed me. I hadn't seen anything like that before.

 

To the bolded:  that's so icky and inappropriate.  I'm sure any decent pastor would note the complete lack of professionalism in doing that, too. 

 

Re: the case... I can't find anything recent regarding any leads.  Are there any?

[Peaceful Isle]

To the bolded:  that's so icky and inappropriate.  I'm sure any decent pastor would note the complete lack of professionalism in doing that, too. 

 

Re: the case... I can't find anything recent regarding any leads.  Are there any?

 

I completely agree with you. My dh is a pastor, and he NEVER speaks of our sex life from the pulpit, or even with close friends.

Edited November 22, 2015 by peaceful isle

[Guest]

The whole thing is so sad :(

[unsinkable]

I completely agree with you. My dh is a pastor, and he NEVER speaks of our sex life from the pulpit, or even with close friends.

Thanks.

 

I know we have pastors' wives here and I was hoping they'd chime in. I remember threads about pastors saying "my smokin hot wife" but these comments go beyond that.

 

I didn't know if it was this guy...or a new trend in preaching, to be so...open?

[unsinkable]

AFAIK...a person of interest is being held on a parole violation.

[lexi]

I know people who personally know her family. From what I understand her husband is not a suspect.

I don't attend their church or know much about it except it is aimed at young people and the pastor and his wife do a lot of Q and A videos where they talk about things such as s*x. I have never listened to a sermon so I have no idea what he says from the pulpit. My impression is that the vibe of the church is to be very open about issues that impact young people and to try to appeal to a younger audience with topics that others might view as taboo (from the pulpit).

I'm not really sure. All I know is that as a pregnant momma in the Indy area this story hit me so very hard. And talking to those who knew her while they cry about her family is gut wrenching. I have been falling apart over the past few weeks.

[unsinkable]

I know people who personally know her family. From what I understand her husband is not a suspect.

I don't attend their church or know much about it except it is aimed at young people and the pastor and his wife do a lot of Q and A videos where they talk about things such as s*x. I have never listened to a sermon so I have no idea what he says from the pulpit. My impression is that the vibe of the church is to be very open about issues that impact young people and to try to appeal to a younger audience with topics that others might view as taboo (from the pulpit).

I'm not really sure. All I know is that as a pregnant momma in the Indy area this story hit me so very hard. And talking to those who knew her while they cry about her family is gut wrenching. I have been falling apart over the past few weeks.

:grouphug:

 

I'm sorry, Lexi. It must be terrifying.

[MercyA]

nm 

 

Edited November 23, 2015 by MercyA

[hmvaughan4]

I'm also near the Indy area, so I've been following. I hope her DH isn't involved. The whole story is so very sad. They had four men in for questioning, but I didn't hear any follow up. The story has definitely received a lot of coverage.

[6packofun]

I think his demeanor in interviews has been weird at best.  Now, I thought the same thing about other cases and changed my opinion about the person's guilt.  People can act strangely under pressure and grief.  But this guy...I don't know.  It's just odd to me.  I think it doesn't help that some Christians think they have to skip over any GRIEF and just point out how amazing heaven is and how great God's love is, ad nauseam.  Our loved ones DESERVE our sadness and grief, so stop trying to USE their death as a preaching platform.  Our lives should speak for themselves. 

[Wabi Sabi]

She was 12 weeks pregnant with a 1 year old. Her DH left to work out and she was raped and shot in the head. She died a couple days later.

 

Police said the DH is "100% cleared."

 

No arrests yet.

 

Here's the thing...he was the pastor at a startup church called Resonate. I am so surprised at how he talked about sex during his sermons. BC of the murder, people have linked his talks...and I don't know. I couldn't be a "pastor's wife" if that kind of talk about our sex life was part of the sermons.

This case is local(ish) to me, and I have not heard any news sources say that she was sexually assaulted, nor have I heard any talk or speculation about the husband or anything unusual about his sermons. Where do you hear these things? 

 

ETA: Nevermind. I don't know how I missed this: http://www.wthr.com/story/30558459/persons-of-interest-questioned-in-amanda-blackburn-murder

Edited November 23, 2015 by Wabi Sabi

[Annie G]

I think his demeanor in interviews has been weird at best.  Now, I thought the same thing about other cases and changed my opinion about the person's guilt.  People can act strangely under pressure and grief.  But this guy...I don't know.  It's just odd to me.  I think it doesn't help that some Christians think they have to skip over any GRIEF and just point out how amazing heaven is and how great God's love is, ad nauseam.  Our loved ones DESERVE our sadness and grief, so stop trying to USE their death as a preaching platform.  Our lives should speak for themselves. 

 

I know what you mean. A couple of years ago one of our friends was in the hospital and it was really serious.  We asked her dh how she was doing and he said he was envious that she was going to get to see Jesus soon and he wasn't.  Dh and I thought that was the most odd way to put it.  She got better, btw.  

[unsinkable]

This case is local(ish) to me, and I have not heard any news sources say that she was sexually assaulted, nor have I heard any talk or speculation about the husband or anything unusual about his sermons. Where do you hear these things?

 

ETA: Nevermind. I don't know how I missed this: http://www.wthr.com/story/30558459/persons-of-interest-questioned-in-amanda-blackburn-murder

The sermons and "question and answer" sessions are on their church website and on you tube.

[sassenach]

I'm aghast that anyone would choose to pick apart a pastor's past sermons after his wife and unborn baby were horrifically murdered.

 

Seriously. So unloving and unkind.

[unsinkable]

I'm aghast that anyone would choose to pick apart a pastor's past sermons after his wife and unborn baby were horrifically murdered.

 

Seriously. So unloving and unkind.

I'm aghast at what he said about his wife and their intimate life while she was still alive.

 

I want to know if this is something that pastors do.

[Cammie]

Nope, NOT something that pastors do.  Guaranteed.

[Audrey]

I'm aghast at what he said about his wife and their intimate life while she was still alive.

 

I want to know if this is something that pastors do.

 

Exactly.  She deserved as much respect alive as dead.  I don't think those sermons are respectful of his wife at all.

[lotsofpumpkins]

I'm aghast at what he said about his wife and their intimate life while she was still alive.

 

I want to know if this is something that pastors do.

 

My pastor (dh) does NOT do this.

[marbel]

The pastors at my church do not discuss their sex lives.  When appropriate to the passage, they may talk about sex in a general way but never in a personal way.  I'm married to the associate pastor.   I can assure you that if he crossed that line one time, he would never do it again.   No matter how "relevant" it may seem to the young people in our church. 

 

 

[FaithManor]

Any church we have attended would not continue to employ a pastor who talked this way about his wife.

[T'smom]

I have only heard one pastor (and I have heard lots) speak in a way that made me raise my eyebrows and he was later asked to resign because he was having an affair. I am related to several pastors and know several others well, and none of them would talk about their sex lives.

[Liz CA]

I think his demeanor in interviews has been weird at best.  Now, I thought the same thing about other cases and changed my opinion about the person's guilt.  People can act strangely under pressure and grief.  But this guy...I don't know.  It's just odd to me.  I think it doesn't help that some Christians think they have to skip over any GRIEF and just point out how amazing heaven is and how great God's love is, ad nauseam.  Our loved ones DESERVE our sadness and grief, so stop trying to USE their death as a preaching platform.  Our lives should speak for themselves. 

 

Have not heard about this story until I opened this thread...Could not agree more with your post. This constant focus on the wonderful place where she is now may be helpful in the long view but it suppresses much needed grieving at the moment. Her parents, siblings, friends need to be able to grieve without someone thinking they are less Christian for it.

 

[Catwoman]

I know people who personally know her family. From what I understand her husband is not a suspect.

I don't attend their church or know much about it except it is aimed at young people and the pastor and his wife do a lot of Q and A videos where they talk about things such as s*x. I have never listened to a sermon so I have no idea what he says from the pulpit. My impression is that the vibe of the church is to be very open about issues that impact young people and to try to appeal to a younger audience with topics that others might view as taboo (from the pulpit).

I'm not really sure. All I know is that as a pregnant momma in the Indy area this story hit me so very hard. And talking to those who knew her while they cry about her family is gut wrenching. I have been falling apart over the past few weeks.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't know this pastor or his family or his church.  I had never heard of him before.  I've never heard a pastor speak of his sex life from the pulpit and I'm a pastor's wife who knows a lot of pastors.  But I can't imagine telling someone how they should grieve or when it might hit them like a ton of bricks.  Or seeming to blame him for something he is not suspected of by bringing up the fact that he teaches inappropriately (and I do agree that it is inappropriate).  If he is not the rapist then he is the grieving spouse of a murder victim.  Right?  Or have I entered the Twilight Zone? 

[Jean in Newcastle]

And you could ask simply if it is appropriate to give examples of your own sex life from the pulpit without linking the question to a particular pastor and crime.  The basic answer on that count does not change with the circumstances. 

[Word Nerd]

Can't sleep so I'm on the boards in the wee hours. While googling the name just now, I saw breaking news that there have been three arrests.

The men have also been connected to another rape and other robberies.

 

http://wspa.com/2015/11/23/breaking-arrest-made-in-amanda-blackburn-murder/

Edited November 23, 2015 by Word Nerd

[unsinkable]

I don't know this pastor or his family or his church. I had never heard of him before. I've never heard a pastor speak of his sex life from the pulpit and I'm a pastor's wife who knows a lot of pastors. But I can't imagine telling someone how they should grieve or when it might hit them like a ton of bricks. Or seeming to blame him for something he is not suspected of by bringing up the fact that he teaches inappropriately (and I do agree that it is inappropriate). If he is not the rapist then he is the grieving spouse of a murder victim. Right? Or have I entered the Twilight Zone?

And you could ask simply if it is appropriate to give examples of your own sex life from the pulpit without linking the question to a particular pastor and crime. The basic answer on that count does not change with the circumstances.

I'm not seeming to blame him for something he is not suspected of. I wrote in the first post that the police said he was "100% cleared."

 

And I don't think I simply could have asked if pastors talk about their own sex lives with their wives during sermons without people saying..."where in the world did you come up with that?"

[unsinkable]

Can't sleep so I'm on the boards in the wee hours. While googling the name just now, I saw breaking news that there have been three arrests.

The men have also been connected to another rape and other robberies.

 

http://wspa.com/2015/11/23/breaking-arrest-made-in-amanda-blackburn-murder/

I hope these are the ones and they have enough evidence to get a conviction.

[DawnM]

Looks like they have someone is custody.

 

Edited November 23, 2015 by DawnM

[Wabi Sabi]

I really have no desire to sit here this morning listening to a bunch of random sermons trying to find something salacious. Without having to listen to them myself, what is so intimate about them? Are we talking about a pastor who references keeping your spouse happy in bed in general terms or a pastor who is giving very specific information about how often, what positions, etc? (I don't need or want specifics, just a general sense of what people find so inappropriate.)

[Spryte]

I really have no desire to sit here this morning listening to a bunch of random sermons trying to find something salacious. Without having to listen to them myself, what is so intimate about them? Are we talking about a pastor who references keeping your spouse happy in bed in general terms or a pastor who is giving very specific information about how often, what positions, etc? (I don't need or want specifics, just a general sense of what people find so inappropriate.)

I wondered the same. Anyone want to provide the Cliff notes version?

[Laurie]

I don't know anything about his sermons and don't want to.

 

What bothers me is why there was an unlocked door at their home.  If the husband went out for some kind of early morning workout, did he purposefully leave the door unlocked with his wife and child inside???

 

That, to me, is what's shocking.  

 

 

 

 

[alisoncooks]

Meh, if it was a safe neighborhood (up to that point), I don't see that as shocking.

My DH just left for work, and left the front door unlocked and the wooden door wide open (we have a glass door). I'll lock it when I go down to shower, but this isn't unusual in our house.

 

ETA: I'm assuming she was awake. If we are asleep, DH locks the door.

Edited November 23, 2015 by alisoncooks

[Annie G]

I really have no desire to sit here this morning listening to a bunch of random sermons trying to find something salacious. Without having to listen to them myself, what is so intimate about them? Are we talking about a pastor who references keeping your spouse happy in bed in general terms or a pastor who is giving very specific information about how often, what positions, etc? (I don't need or want specifics, just a general sense of what people find so inappropriate.)

 

I saw a video from Oct. 27 and it wasn't what I was expecting. It was a Q and A session at their church, and questions had already been sent in via Twitter, I believe. It wasn't something *I* would attend, but I'm not their target audience anyway. 

 

I thought it was fine except for two little parts- one where Davey went on about how every man needs to protect against internet temptation. To that end, he has filters on all of his devices AND his wife and a trusted pastor friend receive a weekly list of every website he's accessed. Well...that sounds like overkill unless a guy has had a problem with porn. 

 

The second thing that I didn't care for was they talked about date night and that his goal was to get her in bed and she said she spent the evening not looking forward to that part, so their solution was to have sex first, to 'get it out of the way'. That pleased him, and left the rest of the evening for them to 'connect'. I thought it was kind of weird, but I didn't see any real disrespect like some said above. Perhaps the video portion I viewed isn't what the posters above were talking about. 

 

In any case, I think the video I saw was a result of two things: the push that many churches have to 'be relevant' and do what it takes to get people there, and the trend that telling every little thing means you are 'authentic'.  Guess I was raised not to air every piece of dirty laundry I might have so I am not impressed when people overshare. 

[Mimm]

We left a church because the pastor did the whole "shock value" thing and it was purely for the reactions and the "aren't we being oh so culturally relevant" thing.  It was ridiculous.  He was pretty much modeling himself after another large church pastor in our area who does the same thing.  

 

They often fit sex in just to do it, it 100% isn't even important to the sermon or biblical text.

 

I just don't get it.

 

However, this guy talked specifically about THEIR sex life?  Ewe, sick, what the heck is wrong with him, and I would never go to that church.

 

The fact that his wife was murdered is a horrific story and I did hear about it from many sources.

 

Now I am going to have to google and listen to how bad his sermons were.

 

ETA:  http://watchkeep.blogspot.com/2015/11/its-such-conundrum-davey-blackburn-when.html

 

That link looks like a person collecting bits of newscasts and sermons and basically implying the pastor guy had something to do with it. Which, if he's 100% in the clear, is the nastiest thing I can think of. I might not think much of this pastor, but I think even less of this Amy Smith person.

[momacacia]

Sounds like they've arrested three men in connection with this. Sorry, idk how to link.

[Danestress]

I don't know anything about his sermons and don't want to.

 

What bothers me is why there was an unlocked door at their home. If the husband went out for some kind of early morning workout, did he purposefully leave the door unlocked with his wife and child inside???

 

That, to me, is what's shocking.

We are not the least vigilant about locking. Our doors are unlocked most of the time we are home, though we try to remember to lock them at night. I don't think it's anywhere close to 'shocking' that a person would be home with an unlocked door. Edited November 23, 2015 by Danestress

[Matryoshka]

We are not the least vigilant about locking. Our doors are unlocked most of the time we are home, though we try to remember to lock them at night. I don't think it's anywhere close to 'schocking' that a person would be home with an unlocked door.

When we're home, the door is usually unlocked, although we do lock it at night and when we go out. But I know more than one family that *never* locks their doors, even when they're not home.

[Mimm]

We are not the least vigilant about locking. Our doors are unlocked most of the time we are home, though we try to remember to lock them at night. I don't think it's anywhere close to 'schocking' that a person would be home with an unlocked door.

 

Our doors are unlocked a majority of the time during the day as well. I realize there are certain places where that isn't the case, but there are many places where people don't keep their doors locked all the time.

 

When I lived out in the country, we never locked the door and knew that most of the people around us didn't either. I don't think our front door was even able to lock.

Edited November 23, 2015 by Mimm

[Wabi Sabi]

I don't know anything about his sermons and don't want to.

 

What bothers me is why there was an unlocked door at their home.  If the husband went out for some kind of early morning workout, did he purposefully leave the door unlocked with his wife and child inside???

 

That, to me, is what's shocking.  

I grew up in Indianapolis and still live local-ish. The suburban areas have always been considered quite safe and while I lock the doors at night or when we're gone, and as a rule of thumb it wouldn't even occur to me to lock the door during the day. Even now, sitting here, the door is unlocked because kids (and dogs) are constantly going in and out. Our door doesn't stay shut long enough to bother locking it!