s/o Master- How did you change your name when you married?

[FaithManor]

In that I did not do what I am about to describe, I cannot select "Other" in the poll.

 

Shortly after I was married, I received a note in the mail from my mother-in-law.  The envelope was addressed to "Mrs. My-first-name  Husband's-first-name  Husband's-surname".  I figured she was just in a hurry.  Turns out that in her region of Greek culture, that is how things were done.  She did this herself, here in the U.S.  Her husband's given name became her middle name, followed by his surname. 

 

Of course, the far greater problem with Greek names is the naming system which results in the same given names heavily represented within any given extended family.  At my wedding reception, a woman introduced herself to one of my uncles with a friendly, "Hi!  I'm M____, X____ Y____'s wife."  (I had just gotten married to "X___   Y___".)  My uncle was shocked!

This reminds me of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" in which Gus introduces the family, "This is my cousin Nick and his wife Diane and their children Nicky, Anita, and Diane. And my other cousins Nick, Nick, Nick, and Nick, and Diane, Diane, Anita, and Nick" or whatever it was. It was so funny! How does one keep that straight?

 

I have friends that refused to be the 7th generation to give their son the exact same first, middle, and last of the previous generations of  males. There was a great grandpa, grandpa, and daddy already alive with the moniker. They gave him a completely new first name and did use one family name in the middle, and the mother's last name so as to end the confusion. It was a good thing too because grandpa drank too much at the airport, got himself in trouble, and ended up on a no fly list! I think it could have been a problem. It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened, but it would be far more statistically likely when so many descendants have the exact same name top to bottom. This was a big family too so we are talking about multiple male cousins and uncles with the exact same name, and a confusing array of Jr's, 2nd's, 3rd's, 4th's, etc. as the only thing separating one identity from another. YIKES! The tradition was nice, but it was a practical disaster and especially as the extended family all happen to live mostly in the same region of the same state! Those that live on the same street? I figure they drove the mail carrier to drink, LOL!

 

Didn't George Foreman have multiple sons and name them all George?

[happypamama]

I'm A B D. I dropped my maiden name. It sounds awkward with my married last name, and I have two brothers to carry on the name. Plus I love my middle name. And, funny story: my father and I have the same first initial, but he was never given a legal middle name. He chose my middle name (which is an obviously girly name), and when I was about five, I decided I should give it to him, so we joke that he is now Hisfirstname Mymiddlename. So I didn't feel the least bit bad about dropping my maiden last name and keeping my middle name. (Fwiw, that's what my own mother did as well, and so did my sister, and so did both of my brothers' wives. I think DH's sister did as well, although I'm not totally sure.) And for Facebook, I'm just A D, no B or C anywhere on there. A D is a fairly common combination, whereas the C is much less common.

 

The year we got married: in the spring, I turned 21 and had to get a new driver's license because at that time, my state used two different colored backgrounds for under and over 21 (not sure if that's still done or not), plus, having gotten the license at 16, it was now expired. In the summer, we got married, and I changed my name. In the fall, we moved to a totally different state and had to get new licenses for that state. I think I didn't bother to change my license when I got married, since I knew we were moving to a new state in a few weeks; I think I just took my new social security card, my old license, and maybe my marriage license to get the new one when we moved.

[Bluegoat]

I consider the female geneological lineage to be just as important to trace as the male's. So I am not certain why it would be an undo hardship for a family historian to have to research additional surnames. But, then again, I'm a pragmatist. I just do not see the value of choosing one surname over another to make tracing a line easier especially in this era of history with so many step-families in which half siblings do not have the same surname anyway.

 

I think in the cases people mentioned as being difficult, neither last name was used - they created a whole different name.  With either the maale or female line, there is a way to trace back, but not so much if each generation is unique.

[Ivey]

I was born A B Ivey. Except for my parents and sisters, everyone has called me Ivey for most of my life (there was another girl in my class every year named A, so I was known as A Ivey, then just Ivey). When Dh and I got married, I legally changed my name to A B Ivey D, but sign my name and introduce myself as Ivey D. 

 

My mother and sisters all dropped Ivey and took on their husband's last name. 

[mamiof5]

ABD. Kept middle, but never use it. Should have thought about dropping it. Oh well :)

[kewb]

A B C D. I just added dh's last name, no hyphen. I was originally not going to take his last name but he was sad so I said I would add his.

When we applied for our marriage license I was going to hyphenate but the woman said to us. "don't do that. If you add the hyphen you have to change all of your documents immediately. If you don't add the hyphen you can go by maiden, married, or both." So no hyphen and I changed my drivers license, passport, etc. as they expired and kept my maiden name for work.

[strange_girl]

ABD. I guess it just never occurred to me to do anything else. I wanted to have his last name, anyway.

[Farrar]

I didn't change mine.

 

I know many families that changed both their names. One family I know, hilariously, decided to hyphenate their names together. After long negotiations, they decided to put his name first in the hyphenation because it sounded better that way. They were both busy and went on the same day but different times to file their name change forms. She filed hers like they decided. But when he got to the clerk's office, the clerk talked him around to doing it the other way. She told him he couldn't do D-C and he decided that must be right. So they ended up with different names. After that, they decided to dump the hyphens and just choose a totally different name.

 

My high school boyfriend changed his name to his dw's surname. He was always a serious feminist.

 

I tried to talk dh around before we had kids into changing both our names into a combination name. The suggestion was Orvilliams, which I think would have been interesting. He was definitely having none of that, so we both kept our names.

[freesia]

A B C D--kept all 4 names, taking dh's last name as mine and moving my maiden name into the middle name slot so that I have 2 middle names.

 

I am ABCD, also.  However, the social security folks couldn't fit my mn and my maiden name in their space for middle names. So, legally my mn became part of my first name AB + C +D.  However, 7 months after we married, we moved to Canada for what turned out to be 8 years.  They didn't ask me at the border what my name was (and my passport was in my maiden name plus I had the marriage certificate). In Canada, it seems more common to just replace the maiden name with married name. So, my work visa and all further legal papers in Canada are ABD. 

[HS Mom in NC]

ACD

 

 

Born:

 

A First name, B Middle Name, C Maiden (Last) Name

 

Married:

 

A First Name, dropped B Middle Name, C Maiden (Last) Name, D Husband's Last Name

 

Example: Cordelia Beatrix Zoolander marries John Doe

 

Cordelia Beatrix Zoolander drops her middle name Beatrix and makes her Maiden Last name Zoolander her middle name and picks up hubby's last name Doe: Cordelia Zoolander Doe.  No hyphens.  Hyphens confuse people.

All 3 of my kids have my maiden last name as a middle name too. The adopted one has 2 middle names, her birth mother's maiden name first and my maiden name second.

Example: Dexterity Zolander Doe

                Serenity Zoolander Doe

                Haven Lee Zoolander Doe

On the adoption court documents my name is incorrectly listed as Cordelia Beatrix Zoolander Doe.  Since it includes all of the names I've ever had, I don't think it will ever be a problem.

[Orthodox6]

"Nick, Nick, Nicos, Nick, Nikki...and I am Gus."

 

I was interesting to learn the naming patterns....how grandparents' names became children's names and in what order.

 

. . . and Gus is an invalid nickname for Constantine. Found only in the U.S., where Gus has a brother Vasilios with the equally invalid nickname of Bill !

 

Yes. The old joke. Shout "Niko!" "Yianni !" "Yiorgi !" in a packed movie theatre . . . And every single male in the place runs to the lobby to see who wants him.

[grantmeawish]

I have always gone by my middle name so I changed it to BCD. I didn't do this through the courts so I wonder if one day I will have a problem...

[freesia]

I have always gone by my middle name so I changed it to BCD. I didn't do this through the courts so I wonder if one day I will have a problem...

I've always understood that doing it when you marry is the same as doing it through the courts and you are allowed to do what you did without any extra paperwork.

[go_go_gadget]

Whadda you mean? :D

 

Bill

Your confusion is outdated! My husband took my last name.

[Danestress]

I kept the name I was given at birth. It just felt like part of my identity and I didn't want to change it. Our sons all have their father's last name.

 

I have never regretted it and my children don't seem to mind nor does my husband. I'm very glad at this point in my life to have a different name from my husband because I work with him and prefer people not to know we are married.

[Ailaena]

Whadda you mean? :D

 

Bill

I have a friend who married a woman and they both changed their last names to use a hyphenated version of both names. That made sense, right?

And two of our male friends just married each other and did the same thing!

 

Also, we know a family where each parent kept their own last name and made up a last name for their kids. So all of their kids have the same last name which is a blend of their parents' names. I really, really, really wanted to do that, but nobody was with me :p

 

My daughter's last name is legally Mine His, both names, no hyphen. She is First Middle Mine His and when she gets married it will be First Middle Mine (Her SO).

 

Oh! And when I was married, I kept my birth name.

[AimeeM]

I dropped my maiden name and took my husband's last name as mine. I kept my middle name. 

[HRAAB]

I am an ABD, a choice I regret. Not because I dislike my dh's name or am a militant feminist, but because of family connections on my side. Had I kept my maiden name, our children would still have dh's name. I am considering adding my maiden name back in. As I get older, I find it even more important to me.

 

My oldest dd dropped her maiden name; my second oldest kept her name with no hyphen.

[Beaniemom]

I'm an ABCD. I really liked my whole name and didn't want to drop any of it. It helps that my maiden name is also a name used as a first name. Since I originally hail from the southeastern United States it sometimes sounds like my now 2 middle names were given that way (think Marysue or Sue Ellen)

[Jan in SC]

I didn't change my name for the first four years. I played around a hyphenated it a few times. Then I finally got used to his name and changed mine. I dropped my middle name and kept my maiden name as a middle name. I'm fine with the name, but I would have been just as happy to keep my name. It really wasn't a big deal.

[Camelfeet]

ABC.  Didn't change mine because my name has history and is special to me.  It is a part of my identity.  DH and I also have the same first name and I didn't want to further confuse things.   

 

I jokingly tried to get him to change his to mine but he wouldn't, it was almost like the entire idea was preposterous.  One kid has my last name, the other has his. Both kids like to argue who got the better name. :D

[mamaraby]

I'm ABD, but if I had to do it over again, I would have stuck with ABC.

[Julie Smith]

Dh and I both kept our names when we got married. 

 

Both the boys have my last name as a middle name, and Dh's last name as a last name. 

 

ETA: I'm told that when I was about 4? I insisted that the person named "A" (my first name) no longer lived in m body. I then ended up going by my middle name. I still go by my middle name. So I suppose I did change my name at age 4 to B A C

[Julie Smith]

I have heard (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong) that in Denmark since so many people have the same last name the government offers incentives if you give your kid a different last name. If I remember correctly 30% of the people in Denmark have the last name Jensen, Nielsen, and Hansen. They also have a limited number of first names since you have to pick off a approved list - so that means in that one small country you might have several people with the same first and last name combo. 

[lailasmum]

I never changed my name. Most people here seem to just do ABD here with a few people like me who never change it. My friends made up a whole new surname but then also went double barrel with the new made up name and the  husbands surname, that got a bit confusing and I'm not really sure what the wife's surname is even now.

[PeachyDoodle]

I took my maiden name as my middle name and dh's last name as my last. I was always told that's the "Southern" way to do it??? Don't know if that's true, but seems to be common around here. Mostly I think it helps when running into people that I knew from my pre-marriage days.

 

I feel like I still have my middle name, though. DH made a comment the other day about someone's name being the same as what "used to be your middle name." I was like, "Well, it's STILL my name, even if I don't use it!" :p

[Rebel Yell]

Other.

 

I am Firstname maden-name-initial-with-no-period Husband's-lastname

 

for example, if I was Gypsy Rose Lee and I married Michael Hutchence, my name is now Gypsy L Hutchence.

 

I hated my middle name, so I use my maiden lasy name initial, which sounds like a name. The only real problems with my "new" last name is I no longer get Polish jokes (OK, so maybe I was Gypsy Rose Leeski) :coolgleamA:  and now people think I can cook Italian food. Nope. I like my spaghetti as warmed-up leftovers with a slice of American cheese. :drool5:

[happypamama]

ABC. Didn't change mine because my name has history and is special to me. It is a part of my identity. DH and I also have the same first name and I didn't want to further confuse things.

 

I jokingly tried to get him to change his to mine but he wouldn't, it was almost like the entire idea was preposterous. One kid has my last name, the other has his. Both kids like to argue who got the better name. :D

I'd have been so tempted to give the kids the first name that DH and I shared as a last name! I have a friend who did the same as you.

 

I knew someone once who had the name A B C. She married someone with name E F D (to keep the parallel the same as listed in the poll). They picked a new last name, G. She changed her name to A G C, and her DH changed his to E G D. They both kept their original surnames and made the new name their middles. Their children have the surname G, and collectively, they're known as "the Gs."

[HS Mom in NC]

My husband said it was very important to him that we have the same last name, but he didn't really care much if it was my last name or his last name.

[Maela]

I dropped my maiden name and kept my middle name.  I never liked my last name much.  Not because of family, just because of the sound of it with my first name.  The last two letters of my first name are the same first to letters of last (maiden) name.  I always thought it sounded weird and was hard to say.  So I was happy to change my name to the simpler last name of Dh's family.  I kept my middle name because I like it.  

 

However, had I been super attached to my last name, I would have been just as happy with Dh changing his last name to my last name or even making up a whole new last name.  I wanted us to have the same last name, but I didn't care what it was.

[elegantlion]

In Japan, if the husband comes from a family with more than one child but the wife comes from a family with no other children, he will take the wife's name upon marriage so that the geneological line will continue.  It's never too late to change your name, Bill.

 

BTW - my dad legally changed his last name when he was 16 to a more easily spelled variant.  

 

I have an ancestor from the 11th or 12th century who did the same thing. He married a daughter of an Earl, the only remaining heir. He was the bastard son of another noble and took the wife's name to continue her line. 

 

 

I had no clue that some women dropped their middle name and used their maiden name until a few years ago. I went to sign some legal paperwork and we had moved to the south. They had my name as first maiden married. That was not my legal name at the time and didn't like signing it that way. I also didn't like that they assumed my middle name was not part of my official name and by that time I had not used my maiden name in at least 15 years. 

 

I went back to my maiden name since the divorce. My maiden name will die with my generation. I have one sister and an aunt with no children. The odds of me marrying again are low to none and I wouldn't change my name again either. 

[FaithManor]

I have heard (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong) that in Denmark since so many people have the same last name the government offers incentives if you give your kid a different last name. If I remember correctly 30% of the people in Denmark have the last name Jensen, Nielsen, and Hansen. They also have a limited number of first names since you have to pick off a approved list - so that means in that one small country you might have several people with the same first and last name combo. 

This is true and the percentage used to be higher - 50%! The increasing popularity of making new surnames for the new generation has resulted in the big drop in percentage.

[FaithManor]

Oh and our last name is in the "please don't name your kid this list". We went to the National Danish Museum in Iowa this past summer and were pretty shocked at how many people were on immigrant memorial wall who had the same name as dh's grandfather...top to bottom. Guaranteed we aren't related to them either! Just for funzies we are going to make the donation and have grandpa added...why not have one more Jens Peter _____ added!

[idnib]

I remember reading an Ann Landers (?) column in the 1980s about a young woman who had spent her life with the last name of "Hooker" and couldn't wait to get married and change it after all the teasing she had endured. She fell in love with someone whose last name was "Hore" and wanted advice.

[PeachyDoodle]

I remember reading an Ann Landers (?) column in the 1980s about a young woman who had spent her life with the last name of "Hooker" and couldn't wait to get married and change it after all the teasing she had endured. She fell in love with someone whose last name was "Hore" and wanted advice.

 

:smilielol5:

 

And now I have to know: What did Ann say???

 

[Dulce Domem]

I dropped my middle name & replaced it with my maiden name.  My middle name was a name I shared with my mother, and I didn't have any special connection to it, and I was much, much closer to my father, and my last name felt more "his."  So I kept my maiden name for my middle.  I only had it changed on my SS card & my drivers' license - now I'm wondering if I should have done more?  In retrospect I wish I would have either just kept my middle or used both - ABCD.  My middle name pops up all the time on tax forms and right now it is on my debit card.  Don't even know how they got my middle name!  I am constantly having to go back and have things switched.  But it's what the women in my family did, and it felt respectful to my father, so it's what I did.  (Plus, I have a fun German middle name so it gets lots of comments and starts lots of conversations, especially when I just use the initial.  People are curious to know what kind of middle name starts with a 'U.')

[Guest]

I kept my maiden name in the middle and dropped my original middle, although I use it from time to time when it is legal documentation.

[idnib]

:smilielol5:

 

And now I have to know: What did Ann say???

 

 

She came down on the side of love, with some good information on legally changing your name anyway.

[catz]

I hyphenated my maiden name and his last name.  Hindsight, it's a pain for various reasons and I wish I would have just kept my maiden name honestly. 

 

On that note, I have been married almost 16 years.  My mom just had some paper work updated and she STILL gets my last name wrong.  :huh: :thumbdown: :sneaky2: :banghead: :blink: :angry: :wacko:   A bunch of paper work needs to be resubmitted. 

[Orthodox6]

:smilielol5:

 

And now I have to know: What did Ann say???

 

 

This sounds like the old hoax about the real-life Ima Hogg and her mythical sister, Eura.

[idnib]

This sounds like the old hoax about the real-life Ima Hogg and her mythical sister, Eura.

 

:laugh:

 

Well if it is a hoax the joke was on the columnist first. I'm not trying to pull anyone's leg!

[Julie Smith]

I hyphenated my maiden name and his last name.  Hindsight, it's a pain for various reasons and I wish I would have just kept my maiden name honestly. 

 

On that note, I have been married almost 16 years.  My mom just had some paper work updated and she STILL gets my last name wrong.  :huh: :thumbdown: :sneaky2: :banghead: :blink: :angry: :wacko:   A bunch of paper work needs to be resubmitted. 

 

Well I have been married for years, and my Dad still can't get my name right - and I didn't change it. ??? 

 

(ETA: he always writes it as if I changed my name to the same last name as my Dh)

[ThisIsTheDay]

Other. I do not have a middle name.

I changed my last name to DH's last name.

 

I also did not have a middle name.  I made my maiden name my middle name and took dh's last name.

 

I would have preferred, at the time, to keep my maiden name, but dh was not too happy about that.  Looking back, I should have stood my ground, but also looking back, I'm pretty sure that I would have eventually changed it.

 

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I selected "Other" because you forgot something.  :)

 

 

I was not given a middle name.  I grew up just Suzanne Lastname.  (A C)

 

I generally just go by Suzanne MarriedLastname.  (A D)

If required for legal reasons, as well as on Facebook, I use Suzanne MaidenName MarriedLastname.  (A C D)

[SnMomof7]

I have a middle name.

I didn't change my name when I got married.

My girls received my last name because they see girls (the first two).

Any boys would have DH's name.

 

Flash forward a few years.

 

I got saved.

 

I realized Eve had the SAME NAME as Adam in the garden before the Fall, because they were one unit. Once a man and a woman marry they are also one unit, one flesh.

 

(Not looking for a debate, just sharing my reasons.)

 

I legally changed my name and the names if our existing children. We had all been Bogarts now for quite a number of years. All the new children. Are Bogarts.

 

None of them have middle names. If they want one when they are grown, they may choose.

[sassenach]

(Not a knock on anyone, just my reason) I would much rather have my dh's name than my father's. Dh is the man I chose, I love sharing his name.

[Reefgazer]

No name change here.  I was born KIK and I'll die KIK.

[lllll]

nm