I need a vacation, alone

[Tiramisu]

This hasn't been a restful summer. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on duty all the time.

 

But I don't think I would actually like going off by myself anywhere.

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

[NicksMama-Zack's Mama Too]

Yes.

 

 

[mom2bee]

Why don't you look into the cost of a weekend at a local inn/hotel? Nowhere fancy, but somewhere away from the family. While you are in the hotel you can go out and have breakfast and spend the day on "Me Time" go to the movies, a play, a nice local nature park or even a book reading?

 

You can get away from the family for just a 2 days and one night and it might help you feel refreshed.

[Jenny in Florida]

I always feel like I need a vacation alone.

 

When my kids were younger and we were going through an especially stressful time, my husband and kids used to keep a running tally of the number of days I said I needed alone in a cabin on the beach to recover. 

 

One year, I actually wrote the words "Mom's Nervous Breakdown" on what appeared to be an unscheduled weekend on the calendar a few months in advance. I knew that cabin on the beach wasn't an option, but the idea was I'd be able to withdraw and read and sleep for a couple of days. Only about a month after that weekend had passed did I remember to check the date and realize we'd gotten busy and I'd missed it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Can I come?

[zoobie]

Sweet googly oh my yes. I would pee alone. Sleep alone! Eat with no one breathing on my plate!

[countrygal]

I am so with you on this one. I think schooling is easier than summer's busy hectic summer pace. I want to be alone - but in my own house ALL ALONE!

[Mrs Mungo]

This hasn't been a restful summer. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on duty all the time.

 

But I don't think I would actually like going off by myself anywhere.

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Absolutely.

[Ewe Mama]

You bet your cupcakes I do.

[FriedClams]

I may do this. One night in a local hotel. Alone.

[Mrs Mungo]

Why don't you look into the cost of a weekend at a local inn/hotel? Nowhere fancy, but somewhere away from the family.

It is seriously not an option for a lot of us.

[Guest]

Yes.  And I do it.  I didn't, early in motherhood, but it was a mistake not to by the time I was also homeschooling.  

 

Sometimes I got away, and sometimes I sent the guys on a road trip.  

 

Ironically, when I ask my son for his favorite memories about homeschooling etc., he always says, "The road trips with Dad."  :0/

 

[Kathryn]

Yes.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Yes.

[WTMCassandra]

I did this, this summer, for the first time ever. Five days, in a beach cottage, ALONE. Best. Vacation. Ever.

 

[MomtoCandJ]

Heck at this point I would go for just a few hours. This couple of hours at night after the kids go to bed is getting really old (as I I need my sleep too).

[SJ.]

*Raises hand*  Don't we all feel that way at times?  

 

Exercise is how I keep my sanity.  I am blessed to be able to attend a gym that has fabulous child care.  The boys get to play with their friends while I go play with mine.  

[DawnM]

I wish a weekend away would do it.  To be honest, a weekend away made me extra sorry to come home.  I realized I just had to have some things CHANGE at home to make it a place I could enjoy more.  I lost it right around the end of June and put my foot down and told the whole family I was sick of it and things would have to change.  I know some of this is peri-menopause garbage, but some of it is me being downright sick of all of it.

[Cammie]

In my house when I say this I am met with a bunch of people who act like it is the most ludicrous idea in the world!!  I don't understand how they don't understand that it is not about them...it is about me.  I need my SPACE.  Ugh.

[HS Mom in NC]

Honey, I know exactly what you mean and this year I went to great lengths to get a break from the spouse and kids.  I ran my tired butt 3 days a week and did a few training hikes (spouseless and kidless) for 6 months all in preparation for a trip with my brother and his friends that required a 6 hour drive into nowhere followed by a 12.5 mile hike into a place so remote the only ways to get mail or other supplies are by mule train or helicopter.  I spent four days there hiking the canyon falls, reading all of Lonesome Dove by lamplight and sleeping a tent the size of a sarcophagus. Then at 4 am the last day we broke camp and hiked back out for 7 hours-the last two miles 4 miles over a rock slide then a tight, steep, zigzag trail. We drove back for 6 hours.  It was awesome.  It was so worth it and I'm doing it again next year.

Here is a short video by someone I don't know who did the hike too.

 

If you don't have wee ones that need mom immediately, there's no need to apologize for getting away for a while.  By the way, I'm completely OK with my husband doing the same thing if he chooses.  We also spot each other time with our adult friends.  He hangs out with friends who share his career choice (software engineering) and I hang out sometimes with my friends who quilt and friends who homeschool with no kids anywhere in sight.  My husband and kids enjoy the break from me too, so it all evens out.

[kitten18]

This hasn't been a restful summer. I'm tired of feeling like I'm on duty all the time.

 

But I don't think I would actually like going off by myself anywhere.

 

Does anyone else ever feel this way?

Every. Single. Day.

 

 

I actually have a fantasy about DH taking the kids away on a trip for a week.  Then I would be home, in my house, all ALONE!  Heaven!!!

[ErinE]

There should be a hotel "tired parent" package.

 

You can stay a few nights, alone.

 

You can order whatever food you want and not share a single bit.

 

You can watch whatever show you want to watch and not hear another's opinion.

 

You can stay up late, go to bed early, read a bunch of books without interruption, and wake up whenever you want to.

 

You can come back to your family a new person.

[KungFuPanda]

PLAN IT! Nobody is EVER going to say "Gee, Mom looks tired and never gets a break. We should encourage to to take some time to herself." Only other mothers understand :-/ Find an empty weekend. Book a spa visit, a girls thing (scrapbooking, hiking, etc), or just a room alone. Pay a deposit so it will really exist/happen, then look forward to it and DO it.

 

I go to two dance conventions each year. At one in the spring I take master classes, workshops, perform multiple nights, and really work to get a lot out of it. I stay in a condo with my friends. At the one in the fall, I stay alone, perform ONCE and only join my friends for last-minute rehearsals and a few meals. I skip the workshops and most of the performances and just recharge.

 

I don't 'need' the break like I need air or food or even my family, but it's NICE to look forward to a few days a year where I can focus on what makes me happy outside of my family and pursue an interest that I'd like even if I were single and childless. I feel like I'm following a true interest and not just turning chores into a hobby (cooking, sewing, gardening, home decorating . . . You know how we do :-/ )

[Jenny in Florida]

Yes. And the cost of a weekend away is more than the week's groceries, so it isn't going to happen. But I wish it would.

 

I totally understand.

[gaillardia]

I know it sounds nice to be alone for a weekend, but actually I would get LONELY! I like it when everyone leaves except for me, that happens maybe once a year, but usually not at all.

One long weekend I went with my two sisters, who did foot the bill, to Key Largo. It was nice to get away, but that was about 9 years ago.

I have been wanting and needing a break but that just is not possible. All of the things that I would want to do on a break, alone....

Swimming. Sunbathing. Hiking. Kayaking. Library. Half-price books. Museums.

I don't know, I love sharing stuff with my family but...it just is not possible with or without them.

So, you do the little breaks as often as possible. I used to get away in the evenings when the kids were younger. Sometimes I could leave early afternoon and not come home until after they were in bed.

Maybe little breaks aren't possible for you either, Tiramisu. For that, I am sorry. Where I am now, my 3 dd go to their room, shut the door, and I don't see them for hours! My sons, off to working for other people or working out. It will get better. :grouphug:

 

[KungFuPanda]

Yes. And the cost of a weekend away is more than the week's groceries, so it isn't going to happen. But I wish it would.

[KungFuPanda]

Do you have any friends who take vacations? Tell them you NEED to get away for free and that you'd lover to house-sit, pet watch, or water their plants just for a little solitude.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Where are you going? Can I tag along? I don't have the money to pay for gas or lodging but I do have some Larabars. Does that work? B)

[Mom in High Heels]

ALL.THE.TIME.  James Bond is always grumping when the army sends him TDY (temp duty), and I want to smack him.  He stays in nice hotels with maid service and gets eats out every day.  Yes, he has to work during the week, but he has the entire weekend to himself.  He usually has several weekends to himself, but he'll call me complaining about how there's nothing to do, he's bored, blah, blah, blah.  SHUT UP!  When he went to Poland in 2010 (IIRC), the Icelandic volcano explosion kept him from getting home, so he had to stay for an extra week in a 4 star hotel with all his meals paid for and the guys from the Polish army taking him and the other 3 Americans out for drinks almost every night.  I was at home with a sick kid (Han Solo wasn't around then), 2 dogs that had to be walked several times a day (we were in a 3rd floor walkup), and had a cold myself, yet he was griping on the phone every night.  I finally told him not to call me if all he was going to do was complain about how bad he had it.  This past April and May, he got sent TDY to Hawaii and did nothing but complain almost the whole time.  Boo-freaking-hoo!  He's currently in DC, in a nice hotel (he got bumped up to a suite!) for some training/school and we have not had one conversation that he hasn't griped.  Wouldn't YOU want to smack him?  I want the army to send *me* TDY.  I'd appreciate every moment of it!  

I would love to have an entire weekend alone,   I don't want to be alone at my house, because then I'd look around at all the stuff I need to do and probably get up and do it.  Plus, I see the house every day.  I want to stay in a hotel (and I want a fancy one, because I like nice hotels!) with a big bed, room service and nothing to do but eat, sleep, read, watch TV, or whatever.  It sounds heavenly.

[LMD]

last Christmas my in laws took my older 3 children to a beach holiday for a week. Dh still had to work and #4 was only a sleepy little baby. I enjoyed a few days at a slow pace, watched movies, read books. It's as near as I'll get for a while...

[Mrs Mungo]

ALL.THE.TIME. James Bond is always grumping when the army sends him TDY (temp duty), and I want to smack him. He stays in nice hotels with maid service and gets eats out every day. Yes, he has to work during the week, but he has the entire weekend to himself. He usually has several weekends to himself, but he'll call me complaining about how there's nothing to do, he's bored, blah, blah, blah. SHUT UP! When he went to Poland in 2010 (IIRC), the Icelandic volcano explosion kept him from getting home, so he had to stay for an extra week in a 4 star hotel with all his meals paid for and the guys from the Polish army taking him and the other 3 Americans out for drinks almost every night. I was at home with a sick kid (Han Solo wasn't around then), 2 dogs that had to be walked several times a day (we were in a 3rd floor walkup), and had a cold myself, yet he was griping on the phone every night. I finally told him not to call me if all he was going to do was complain about how bad he had it. This past April and May, he got sent TDY to Hawaii and did nothing but complain almost the whole time. Boo-freaking-hoo! He's currently in DC, in a nice hotel (he got bumped up to a suite!) for some training/school and we have not had one conversation that he hasn't griped. Wouldn't YOU want to smack him? I want the army to send *me* TDY. I'd appreciate every moment of it!

I would love to have an entire weekend alone, I don't want to be alone at my house, because then I'd look around at all the stuff I need to do and probably get up and do it. Plus, I see the house every day. I want to stay in a hotel (and I want a fancy one, because I like nice hotels!) with a big bed, room service and nothing to do but eat, sleep, read, watch TV, or whatever. It sounds heavenly.

Not to mention how all sorts of things tend to go wrong while they are gone. So, we deal with the broken a/c, the kid in the hospital, the sick dog, our own broken bone, the storms, everything, ugh!

[Laura Corin]

Yes - particularly when the boys were younger and I was home educating.  Once we took a holiday and Husband took the boys home after a week, whilst I stayed over the weekend.  Those extra couple of days felt weird but really helped me, I think.

 

Calvin is in America at the moment, and Husband and Hobbes are planning a camping trip next week.  So I should get a couple of days to myself.  I'll still be working outside the home those days, but it will be peaceful at home.  I'll eat precisely what I want to eat and take the dog for walks.

 

L

[marbel]

Sure, I do too.  My husband feels that way too, from stress at work and the neverending list of things to do at home.   So my going away would just add extra stress to him and I'm not going to do that.  Really he and I need to go away together, and we keep talking about it, but we can't find a weekend we can do it. 

 

I go out at night with friends or by myself.  Or I take the evening off and let things go.  Of course with teens it's a lot easier because someone else can do the dishes. But I've let dishes sit overnight while I sit in my room and read, eat chocolate and drink red wine.    Frequent short breaks at home help till I can really get away. 

 

 

[Gentlemommy]

Yes. Very much so.

My dh work out of town a lot. I'd say he's gone 3 weeks out of 4. Currently, he's been gone since July 15, and won't be home until Sept....MAYBE. His job is such that he will get a call 1-3 days in advance of work, and he doesn't generally know how long he will be gone until 1-2 days before he is done.

We moved here almost a year ago, and while I love it, I don't have a big support base like I did back home. I used to live 3 minutes from my mom, and 15 from my in laws (who drove me crazy, but are good grandparents and would love having the kids over). I have virtually NO help here. I do not get ANY time alone. I'm very introverted and I *need* quiet! alone time. A lot of it.

Over the summer, we bought an RV so that we could travel with dh when he goes out of town. We did. He was still gone all day, but now our 'home base' is about 300 sq feet. Don't get me wrong, I love the RV, and I love camping, the kids do too. They spend hours upon hours outside and I actually relax a bit while they play. So I'm not complaining, however, being in such cramped quarters without being able to 'clock out' is hard. Traveling wears me out. We would go off on adventures every single day we were in a new town so we could go see everything. Fun, but exhausting. We traveled a total of six weeks this summer, almost every other week we were gone.

 

So yeah. I fantasize often of a weekend (or three) alone, in a nice, clean hotel room. Where I can read and lounge around for hours. I won't get it, but a girl can dream!

[Lizzie in Ma]

I want a vacation alone too, but I want it at my house. I feel you. :grouphug: :grouphug:

[DawnM]

I don't go alone.  I go with my girlfriends.  

 

 

I know it sounds nice to be alone for a weekend, but actually I would get LONELY! I like it when everyone leaves except for me, that happens maybe once a year, but usually not at all.

One long weekend I went with my two sisters, who did foot the bill, to Key Largo. It was nice to get away, but that was about 9 years ago.

I have been wanting and needing a break but that just is not possible. All of the things that I would want to do on a break, alone....

Swimming. Sunbathing. Hiking. Kayaking. Library. Half-price books. Museums.

I don't know, I love sharing stuff with my family but...it just is not possible with or without them.

So, you do the little breaks as often as possible. I used to get away in the evenings when the kids were younger. Sometimes I could leave early afternoon and not come home until after they were in bed.

Maybe little breaks aren't possible for you either, Tiramisu. For that, I am sorry. Where I am now, my 3 dd go to their room, shut the door, and I don't see them for hours! My sons, off to working for other people or working out. It will get better. :grouphug:

 

[T'smom]

Yes! A few weeks ago, Dh took the kids camping for the weekend. My parents were coming and the house needed to be cleaned and I was so overwhelmed by cleaning one thing while the kids destroyed another. So, I stayed home and cleaned all weekend. (I still had the baby.) even though I had to clean, it was so relaxing. I carried my tablet around, so I could watch Netflix wherever I was cleaning and nursing the baby meant I had to take frequent breaks. And of course eating whatever I wanted without sharing or letting it get cold while I fixed a pbj for someone who wouldn't eat the good stuff! I never would have thought that a weekend cleaning could be so wonderful!

[regentrude]

No. I would not enjoy a vacation on my own.

Now, a weekend trip with just DH would have seemed heavenly when the kids were little (we never got one).... but now that they are teens, I'm missing family outings.

[mom2hunangirls]

Do you have any friends who take vacations? Tell them you NEED to get away for free and that you'd lover to house-sit, pet watch, or water their plants just for a little solitude.

This is what I have done. Sometimes I even get paid to be alone!

[Lolly]

I did this once. It felt odd before I went. My mil thought I was insane. I was...because I needed to be alone. I didn't want friends to go with me. I would feel the need to take care of them as hostess. (I was going to a family owned condo.) I went by myself. I ate almost nothing: pretty much lived on yogurt. I cooked absolutely nothing. I went to a nice restaurant one night for dinner. I drank wine. I read brain candy books. I sat by the pool. I took long, early morning walks. It was heaven. No one asked anything of me during that weekend. No one touched me. It was a very needed recharge.

[NotSoObvious]

I did this once. It felt odd before I went. My mil thought I was insane. I was...because I needed to be alone. I didn't want friends to go with me. I would feel the need to take care of them as hostess. (I was going to a family owned condo.) I went by myself. I ate almost nothing: pretty much lived on yogurt. I cooked absolutely nothing. I went to a nice restaurant one night for dinner. I drank wine. I read brain candy books. I sat by the pool. I took long, early morning walks. It was heaven. No one asked anything of me during that weekend. No one touched me. It was a very needed recharge.

 

This sounds so beautiful. It makes me want to cry. I'm definitely doing this soon.

[Allearia]

I did this once several years ago. I so wish I could do it again but I really think Dh didn't get it. This summer the kids are going to summer day camp almost every week. It is great, but I am also having to work a lot to pay for it, so I get some quiet time but it is not so relaxing. We went to visit the in-laws in July and I desperately tried to convince Dh to let me stay home. And we would have saved over $700 in airfare. Didn't work. Since Dh doesn't drive he doesn't really take the kids out for very long and half the time I have to drive them there and pick them up. Just having six hours alone during the day for a few days in a row and having time to do my lesson planning properly is fabulous. Besides that, it's not just being alone, it is not having to drive all over the place all day every day for park days, play dates, and other activities.

[Tap]

I have started taking weekend trips with my teenage daughter and her friends or boyfriend.  I love the fact that they don't really need me for anything, they are happy to pretend that I am not there (in a good way, not a rude one) and they are happy and fun.  I feel like I get a chance to breathe, can do my own thing without having to worry about a little one, and still have someone to eat meals with etc.  

 

 

[Peaceful Isle]

I'll take a stay-cation. Everyone else can leave, and I will stay at my house, with lots of coffee, chocolate, netflix, and money. In my dreams :)

[Seasider]

Yes, did it once, spent a week away all by myself. I am convinced it saved my sanity.

 

Was it selfish? Perhaps. But when I count what it would have cost me NOT to go - to not have had that time to regroup physically, spiritually, emotionally - the long term cost of not taking that much needed break would have been much higher.

[J-rap]

I'm sorry your summer hasn't been easy.  I sometimes meet a good friend at a hotel for a night or two.  A couple years ago, I started meeting my best friend from my growing-up years in the state that we can both get to with the cheapest airfare, since we live half a country apart.  (Which happens to be Denver, Colorado.) 

 

Whenever our family stays at a hotel, I try and book through hotels.com.  After every 10 nights, they give you a free night somewhere.  I love that free night!

 

My time away for a night or two or three is wonderful.  :)

[MicheleinMN]

I want to be alone - but in my own house ALL ALONE!

 

 

This is ME!  I have NEVER been all alone in this house.  In 20 years, I can count the times I have been alone here (with the dogs, which still isn't really alone) on one hand.  Alone would be lovely.

[Upward Journey]

I am so with you on this one. I think schooling is easier than summer's busy hectic summer pace. I want to be alone - but in my own house ALL ALONE!

My ideal vacation would be dh taking the kids somewhere fun for a week or two, and leaving me behind at home!

[*Inna*]

Yes.

 

My SIL and I traded the babysitting days (the whole day) to get stuff done around the house or just to be alone, by myself, without anyone around me. 

[Ann.without.an.e]

I used to joke about how I needed a vacation alone....at home.  I would dream about sending my DH and the kids to some fun place without me while I did a mix of organizing/cleaning and watching girl movies and eating take out  :coolgleamA: