Finances, DES, etc. Ugh!

[scrapbookbuzz]

Sadly, our household income is now WAY back down to where it was about 4 years ago at this time.

Where money pretty much runs out after necessary bills are paid (most of them, anyway), about one week before payday.

 

Went to DES (Department of Economic Security) yesterday, spent FIVE HOURS there, only to be told we don't qualify 

for food stamps NOR do we qualify to get our kids on the state-assisted medical program. I said to the lady, "How destitute

does a family have to be to qualify??"

 

My husband works on base + commission but commission is slow these days. Therefore, after taxes, we're lucky if he

brings home $3k/month.

 

I know it has to look up from here. I'm just frustrated right now. Thanks for letting me vent.

[scrapbookbuzz]

For a family of four, one of whom has special dietary needs, it just makes it really tight financially. The destitute comment was out of frustration and being very discouraged.

[JustEm]

Yea, 3k per month is more than we make for a family of 5 soon 6 and we get by fine.  Fine being most months we can put away something into our savings.  Have you cut back on all nonessentials like eating out, cable, downgrading phone plans, etc.  We were struggling quite a bit at one point before I realized just how much I can save. Prior to that I felt REALLY stressed and constantly running out of money.  If you haven't already cut out things start with one area at a time.

 

 We started with dropping cable and home phone and negotiating a much lower internet rate.  Then we moved to using less energy/month by keeping the windows open, a/c off, and fans on.  And in the winter we would bundle up.  It was a good 2 years of that before we felt our budget was loose enough to start turning those things back on regularly.  After that I focused on our entertainment budget.  We still had one but I made a realistic amount to spend and stuck to it.  The last thing I focused on was our groceries.  I've gotten our groceries down to $200/month most months.  Over the last 8 months or so its been creeping up since prices keep creeping up.

[amyco]

I am sorry you are frustrated...I hope things get better.  It's hard.  I hear you.  :grouphug:

[Katy]

Guessing you're in Arizona?  Federal poverty levels for a family of four is gross (not net) income of $23,850.  Plus, you'd have to have no assets and both adults would need to be working or disabled.  You might be in a tighter spot than you were previously, but you're still much better off than many.

[kewb]

I can totally relate.  We don't qualify for food assistance either. We are already bare bones with out expenses but dh's medical expenses put us over the edge and assistance programs where I live don't take that into account.

[scrapbookbuzz]

 

Yea, 3k per month is more than we make for a family of 5 soon 6 and we get by fine.  Fine being most months we can put away something into our savings.  Have you cut back on all nonessentials like eating out, cable, downgrading phone plans, etc.  We were struggling quite a bit at one point before I realized just how much I can save. Prior to that I felt REALLY stressed and constantly running out of money.  If you haven't already cut out things start with one area at a time.

 

 We started with dropping cable and home phone and negotiating a much lower internet rate.  Then we moved to using less energy/month by keeping the windows open, a/c off, and fans on.  And in the winter we would bundle up.  It was a good 2 years of that before we felt our budget was loose enough to start turning those things back on regularly.  After that I focused on our entertainment budget.  We still had one but I made a realistic amount to spend and stuck to it.  The last thing I focused on was our groceries.  I've gotten our groceries down to $200/month most months.  Over the last 8 months or so its been creeping up since prices keep creeping up.

 

We haven't had cable for years, nor a landline. I'm tempted to cut internet for now since we really don't NEED it at home. I live in the low desert where it regularly reaches over 105 F, usually a daily basis. Turning the a/c OFF is not an option.  I'd love to be able to use the food bank but having one of us with specific dietary needs doesn't really allow for that. I'm trying to figure out how to bring grocery costs down but we can't do processed foods.  

 

I know it will get better, I just needed to release some frustration this morning.

[Carrie12345]

I'm sorry.

$3,000 would get us our mortgage payment (for our cheap, tiny house), car insurance, car gas, and food, if we were careful.  I don't know where health insurance, electric, any sort of phone, or any kind of internet would come from, let alone other expenses.  I would be desperately frustrated, too, even knowing it might be tighter for others!

[kwickimom]

I wish we brought home $3000 a month, We make less than that for a family of 5 and dont qualify for food stamps

[BlueTaelon]

$3000 a month? If you cant live on that then perhaps your not living within your means. We live on 1/3 of that (thats including what we get in SNAP) and we all have special dietary needs. If its just no processed food then that means a cheaper food bill because everything is cooked from scratch. We dont run a/c because we cant afford it even when its 100 outside. Use fans, thermal curtians, open windows at night for cool air. Go to public places to cool down if you need to. We dont even have internet at home right now because were putting every penny into moving into the city next week (finally!) Which will cut our bills about $200 mo plus food bill will go down with access to many stores and city prices. Anyway when we do we have netflix and hulu, no cable, no landline and the lowest internet package we can get away with. Clothes come from thrift stores except for under things and shoes. Kids coats come from ebay. I coupon, I stockpile during sales. If housing is eating up so much then move. Car payments? Sale and buy an older but good car outright. Cell phones dont need to be fancy with expensive data plans. Prepaid phones are often cheaper then contract and work just as well. I would feel stinkin rich if I had $3k month to work with.

[Carrie75]

$3000 a month? If you cant live on that then perhaps your not living within your means. We live on 1/3 of that (thats including what we get in SNAP) and we all have special dietary needs. If its just no processed food then that means a cheaper food bill because everything is cooked from scratch. We dont run a/c because we cant afford it even when its 100 outside. Use fans, thermal curtians, open windows at night for cool air. Go to public places to cool down if you need to. We dont even have internet at home right now because were putting every penny into moving into the city next week (finally!) Which will cut our bills about $200 mo plus food bill will go down with access to many stores and city prices. Anyway when we do we have netflix and hulu, no cable, no landline and the lowest internet package we can get away with. Clothes come from thrift stores except for under things and shoes. Kids coats come from ebay. I coupon, I stockpile during sales. If housing is eating up so much then move. Car payments? Sale and buy an older but good car outright. Cell phones dont need to be fancy with expensive data plans. Prepaid phones are often cheaper then contract and work just as well. I would feel stinkin rich if I had $3k month to work with.

 

 

Most families cannot live off of $1000/per month. This hardly helps the OP at all.

[NotSoObvious]

The OP said their income has gone down. Building a life around a certain income, then all of a sudden not having that income sucks no matter how you slice it. 

 

When I quit my job to homeschool, our income was cut in half. We still brought in what the OP did, but our mortgage and bills didn't magically get lower. We knew it was a permanent change, so we decided to move in order to have more discretionary spending money. 

 

Just because you aren't technically destitute doesn't make *losing* income any easier. It's always scary and it takes time to make significant enough changes to get back on track.

[gaillardia]

I was saying to my dh today that there are many who make way more than we do, and many who make way less, but either way it is hard for many.

 

When you have 6 kids (3 of them are adults and only 1 has a job), medical bills you haven't been able to get caught up on, emergencies that exhausted your funds, you pay the bills and what is left over is food and gas and at the end of the pay period you probably don't have enough.

I hear you, scrapbookbuzz.

 

I'm trying. Coupons? I have found that most of the stuff for coupons is not the kind of food we eat. Since I've been a sahm most of my life I am not the most sought after employee in any field. My dh's career has been in one line of work and his schedule is all over the place, making part time work nearly impossible. We are trying, but I'm sure we fail the frugal living monitor some of you live by, and would be seen as destitute by others.

 

Don't judge other people. She was just venting! :grouphug:

[Caroline]

This post just sounds mean.

 

$3000 a month? If you cant live on that then perhaps your not living within your means. We live on 1/3 of that (thats including what we get in SNAP) and we all have special dietary needs. If its just no processed food then that means a cheaper food bill because everything is cooked from scratch. We dont run a/c because we cant afford it even when its 100 outside. Use fans, thermal curtians, open windows at night for cool air. Go to public places to cool down if you need to. We dont even have internet at home right now because were putting every penny into moving into the city next week (finally!) Which will cut our bills about $200 mo plus food bill will go down with access to many stores and city prices. Anyway when we do we have netflix and hulu, no cable, no landline and the lowest internet package we can get away with. Clothes come from thrift stores except for under things and shoes. Kids coats come from ebay. I coupon, I stockpile during sales. If housing is eating up so much then move. Car payments? Sale and buy an older but good car outright. Cell phones dont need to be fancy with expensive data plans. Prepaid phones are often cheaper then contract and work just as well. I would feel stinkin rich if I had $3k month to work with.

[ktgrok]

Keep in mind they WERE making much more, so their housing costs, maybe a car payment, etc may be more than others. And if it is like my situation, we are underwater on our mortgage, so we can't just sell the house and move somewhere cheaper if we need to. A car could be in the same situation easily. Eventually it may come to walking away, but that takes time, and often, oddly, money. By that time, hopefully, their income will be back up.

[Moxie]

It doesn't really help the OP to hear about how many people have it worse. Let the poor girl vent!!

[BlueTaelon]

That might be true, but it might be that for the longest time they were and there was a significant drop in their income. That can happen to anyone.

With that much money they should have a good emergancy fund built up which gives them cushion time to adjust to the new lower level of means. If they didnt do that then no, they were not living within their means. Were way below the poverty line income wise and with this move its going to free up what to me is a lot of money. Even Im going to be putting something into an EF because I know I cant absorb any unexpected expenses. This is basic money managment stuff. To me someone living with that kind of income and having money issues is mostly likely buying things they dont need or living in a house they cant afford.

[Moxie]

With that much money they should have a good emergancy fund built up which gives them cushion time to adjust to the new lower level of means. If they didnt do that then no, they were not living within their means. Were way below the poverty line income wise and with this move its going to free up what to me is a lot of money. Even Im going to be putting something into an EF because I know I cant absorb any unexpected expenses. This is basic money managment stuff. To me someone living with that kind of income and having money issues is mostly likely buying things they dont need or living in a house they cant afford.

Seriously?? You have posted plenty of stuff that people could shake their finger at. Let her vent!

[happypamama]

Keep in mind they WERE making much more, so their housing costs, maybe a car payment, etc may be more than others. And if it is like my situation, we are underwater on our mortgage, so we can't just sell the house and move somewhere cheaper if we need to. A car could be in the same situation easily. Eventually it may come to walking away, but that takes time, and often, oddly, money. By that time, hopefully, their income will be back up.

 

Yes to this. It doesn't matter if someone else could live on less; what matters is your situation. If you bought a house you could easily afford, and then income crashed (and in my case, property taxes went up a LOT in a single year, due to a restructuring), and you're underwater on your home, what are you going to do? I can't even rent a house for my family's size for what I pay for my mortgage, even with utility costs factored in. And we know COL varies wildly around the country, so a comfortable salary in one area might be barely workable in another and completely not at all feasible in another.

 

OP, I'm sorry. Btdt. (((HUGS)))

[NotSoObvious]

With that much money they should have a good emergancy fund built up which gives them cushion time to adjust to the new lower level of means. If they didnt do that then no, they were not living within their means. Were way below the poverty line income wise and with this move its going to free up what to me is a lot of money. Even Im going to be putting something into an EF because I know I cant absorb any unexpected expenses. This is basic money managment stuff. To me someone living with that kind of income and having money issues is mostly likely buying things they dont need or living in a house they cant afford.

 

 

You are way out of line.

 

Just stop.

[TammyinTN]

Big hugs honey...I complete understand.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[klmama]

Special diets can kill budgets, especially during growth spurts. Maybe if you shared the requirements in a new thread, people could give suggestions for ways to make it cheaper.

[elegantlion]

With that much money they should have a good emergancy fund built up which gives them cushion time to adjust to the new lower level of means. If they didnt do that then no, they were not living within their means. Were way below the poverty line income wise and with this move its going to free up what to me is a lot of money. Even Im going to be putting something into an EF because I know I cant absorb any unexpected expenses. This is basic money managment stuff. To me someone living with that kind of income and having money issues is mostly likely buying things they dont need or living in a house they cant afford.

 

Here's the thing, spread out over the year, I make less than you. I might be jealous you can afford to move or have a car. I can't do either. 

 

So, while I get that 3k might seem extreme no matter what to you, it's not. It's 36k a year, which is some parts of the country doesn't meet minimal needs. 

 

Once upon a time, my income was higher. When you have a house, car payments, utilities, property taxes and the like 3k doesn't stretch far even in a low COL area. If it's a temporary or sudden setback, it doesn't make sense to sell the house, sell the stuff, and live in an apartment. Surely you don't wish some of the choices people in our situations make on other people. I don't. There are immediate needs and unfortunately they don't qualify for help. That can be frustrating at any income. Kids still get hungry, payments still have to be made. Heck, they could be debt free except for a mortgage and that would still be a stretch in some parts of the country. I can't believe what property taxes are in some areas. 

 

So that doesn't mean they've been living it up until now. 

 

To the OP, I'm sorry. You might check food banks in your area, many of those don't have an income requirement, just a need. I hope things look up soon. 

[BlueTaelon]

Most families cannot live off of $1000/per month. This hardly helps the OP at all.

The majority of the families I know do live on that. I know of very very few that are living on $2k or more. Perhaps because I live in a poor town and always have but I just can not imagine not making it on $3k month. Perhaps years of poverty has changed how I see things but when you dont have much and you see folks making way more then you its baffling why they cant make it.

[gaillardia]

It is very possible she and her husband do not want to live in poverty.

Are we finished here? Or is this getting ready to become a flaming thread?

[Cinder]

:grouphug:

[Carrie12345]

Just move? Bwahaha!

<----- just saw another local drop that puts my house at 46% of purchase price.  Sure! If my income drops dramatically, I'd just LOVE to be sued for the difference between my balance and auction price!

:001_rolleyes:

[BlueTaelon]

You are way out of line.

 

Just stop.

Im sorry, I guess im having a bad day and this is a touchy subject for me.

[Caroline]

The majority of the families I know do live on that. I know of very very few that are living on $2k or more. Perhaps because I live in a poor town and always have but I just can not imagine not making it on $3k month. Perhaps years of poverty has changed how I see things but when you dont have much and you see folks making way more then you its baffling why they cant make it.

But you aren't making it. Weren't you homeless recently? Do you feel your posts are helpful?

[NotSoObvious]

Im sorry, I guess im having a bad day and this is a touchy subject for me.

 

 

Thanks for recognizing it. The OP is having a bad day, too, and just needs to vent.

[arnold]

I'm sorry.

$3,000 would get us our mortgage payment (for our cheap, tiny house), car insurance, car gas, and food, if we were careful.  I don't know where health insurance, electric, any sort of phone, or any kind of internet would come from, let alone other expenses.  I would be desperately frustrated, too, even knowing it might be tighter for others!

 

Same here, and we live in a small ranch house built in the 70's (not updated), have no debt other than 1 car that's almost paid off, 4 small kids who get most of their cloths second hand.  We don't go out to eat, and rarely have money for family outings like the movies. We would be on the street if our income was $3000 per month!!!

My suggestion is to check your local churches or food pantries to help with food costs; that would likely help significantly (at least with what the food costs are where I live).  Most larger churches have (at least around here) have a person who's job it is to help with people who cannot pay bills for whatever reason.  I know this because I work part time for our church parish.

 

[Amber in SJ]

This shows how different COL can be.  Some people would feel rich on $3000/ month.  Where I live, in our small 1160sq ft house, that was built in the 70's my mortgage is 2/3 of that.  That final 1/3 would have to pay for garbage, utilities, water, health insurance, insurance and fuel for a 10 year old car.  Now add in food and keeping your children decently clothed (I mean covered not designer) and it feels like there is more month than paycheck. 

 

To the OP  :grouphug: .  I have BTDT when DH's salary was cut by 60% for 2 years.  We still haven't recovered fully.

 

Take a look at the Prudential Homemaker website/ Blog

 

Amber in SJ

[Desert Rat]

Big hugs, OP. :(  I hope things look up for you. I just read an article on yahoo (I think) about some food pantries now carrying food specifically for people with dietary needs. If not, maybe you can get some staples that other family members might eat and free up some money for the special foods. 

You've gotten a few helpful suggestions and a lot of judgement. Sorry for the second part. I hope it doesn't stop you from venting because we all need a safe place for that.  It is helpful to understand that people live in different places. So an apartment renting for $400 in one place can be $2000 somewhere else and any where in between. Try to understand that people live different lives and don't need to be judged for the hardships they are facing, even if you don't believe their lives to be hard. Walk a mile and all that. 

[SemiSweet]

We live in an extremely high cost of living area. There are no places to rent under about $2000 a month, so $3000 a month would rent us a room or have us close to living in our car, a gallon of milk here is like $7. It's nice that some people live in lower cost of living areas but $3000 is not living the high life by an stretch. It is very unkind to point out that you're doing it for so much less when I highly doubt there are any similarities in the situations. Bitterness and anger don't look good on anyone.

 

OP I'm sorry you're going through a rough time, I've been there and it's hard. I hope it's temporary for you and your family.

[elegantlion]

Im sorry, I guess im having a bad day and this is a touchy subject for me.

 

I think it's easy to get that way when people start discussing actual numbers. At 3k per month, I would have a completely different lifestyle, but just because I don't have the OPs lifestyle doesn't mean it was/is extreme. 

 

At one point a few years ago, I worked out the budget for a family of 3. Where we were then living, we needed about 4k to make ends meet and have some options - like going out to eat once a month, buying homeschool books, owning a second used (very used) car. We were not living high on the hog, we just had real life expenses. 

 

I know if a different expensive part of the country, property taxes for a house similar to mine (old 1200sf bungalow) could go as high as 10k/year. that's over 800 a month in property taxes. Thing is, most people in that area can't just move to lower COL area and buy a cheaper house, the property taxes would still be high. 

 

The OP wasn't complaining about cutting back on her spa dates, she just wants to make sure her family is fed. It can be frustrating when you're over the limit and not making it. 

[scrapbookbuzz]

With that much money they should have a good emergancy fund built up which gives them cushion time to adjust to the new lower level of means. If they didnt do that then no, they were not living within their means. Were way below the poverty line income wise and with this move its going to free up what to me is a lot of money. Even Im going to be putting something into an EF because I know I cant absorb any unexpected expenses. This is basic money managment stuff. To me someone living with that kind of income and having money issues is mostly likely buying things they dont need or living in a house they cant afford.

Enough. Your comments are no longer welcome. I specifically stated I was frustrated and venting. Nothing you have posted has been encouraging. I understand living on less than $3k a month. i've been there. I also said we're LUCKY IF that is what my dh brings home a month. FYI: we DID have an emergency fund. and when things got tight we tucked into it because we still had those monthly bills and needed to put food on the table. 

 

You're frustrated with your situation. I get that. But that gives you no right to villify me for simply venting mine.

[meena]

OP,  :grouphug: . No one knows your full situation but you, and no one needs to know. We just need to listen, sympathize, and offer support.

 

We are in a similar situation right now. DH is making 85% less than he made a year ago (long story there). We aren't eligible for services because of the assets we have left over from when he was making his former salary. And I know people don't understand our current financial situation when they see that we are driving decent cars (paid off) and live in a big house (can't sell because it needs significant work that we can no longer afford to do). We are on a slowly sinking ship and don't know how to get off. In the meantime, we are denying ourselves as much as possible hoping and praying for the ship to right itself before it's too late. I know how it feels and I'll be thinking about/praying for your family. 

[Kathryn]

:grouphug: OP. I know how scary a drop in income can be with expensive dietary restrictions.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I'm sorry. ((((Hugs)))))

[Guest]

There's a guy living in the desert who uses and receives no money at all. I don't recommend it, though.

 

I agree with letting the girl vent. Losing income is painful, even if you make more than some other person.

[Tammi K]

$3000 a month? If you cant live on that then perhaps your not living within your means. We live on 1/3 of that (thats including what we get in SNAP) and we all have special dietary needs. If its just no processed food then that means a cheaper food bill because everything is cooked from scratch. We dont run a/c because we cant afford it even when its 100 outside. Use fans, thermal curtians, open windows at night for cool air. Go to public places to cool down if you need to. We dont even have internet at home right now because were putting every penny into moving into the city next week (finally!) Which will cut our bills about $200 mo plus food bill will go down with access to many stores and city prices. Anyway when we do we have netflix and hulu, no cable, no landline and the lowest internet package we can get away with. Clothes come from thrift stores except for under things and shoes. Kids coats come from ebay. I coupon, I stockpile during sales. If housing is eating up so much then move. Car payments? Sale and buy an older but good car outright. Cell phones dont need to be fancy with expensive data plans. Prepaid phones are often cheaper then contract and work just as well. I would feel stinkin rich if I had $3k month to work with.

 

Blue Taelon, it sounds as if your situation has improved greatly since the last few times you've posted about how overwhelming everything was for you. That's lovely for you and your children. But, I don't really think it's helpful to the OP. Her situation isn't yours.  Perhaps, having walked the desperate path you did not so long ago, you could have a bit of sympathy for her struggle.

 

OP, hang in there. No advice, but (((((hugs)))))).

[ktgrok]

The majority of the families I know do live on that. I know of very very few that are living on $2k or more. Perhaps because I live in a poor town and always have but I just can not imagine not making it on $3k month. Perhaps years of poverty has changed how I see things but when you dont have much and you see folks making way more then you its baffling why they cant make it.

 

In comparison, your $1000 a month wouldn't even cover my mortgage. My monthly payment is 1,031 including taxes and homeowner's insurance (I'm in florida, insurance is not cheap due to hurricaines and sink holes). We bought a house that was in foreclosure, with holes in the walls, faulty wiring, etc for that price. AND we have already refinanced to a lower interest rate. That's for 1,400 square feet, nothing fancy. Not in a great part of town, although not in the worst part of town. Blue collar working class. You just re not considering cost of living. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[Peaceful Isle]

Our small, very not up to date home is almost 2 grand a month. We would never make it on your income. It depends on location and where you live. The West is way more expensive.

 

Hugs to you.

[BlessedMom]

((((Hugs))))

Sorry things are so challenge right now.

[Lanny]

@OP     I read what you were told at DES about not qualifying for medical insurance for your DC, but when you have some spare time to spend on the Internet, I would like you to verify that information, by going to the Federal ObamaCare web site, or to  your state ObamaCare web site, if your state has one. It will be tricky to navigate, but I am hoping that the person in DES was wrong and that your DC (and possibly your entire family) will qualify for some kind of subsidized medical insurance.  It will depend upon what state you live in and the COL and whether or not your state signed up to expand Medicaid, etc. Try to take it one day at a time and do the best you can and  hang in there.  BTDT

 

[PrairieSong]

No advice...just wanted to say I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now.

[celticmom]

:grouphug:

[mommymilkies]

:grouphug:   I feel your pain.  We've been in a pay freeze for awhile and I stopped receiving child support.  It's hard.  We are so underwater.  Our income is high compared to where we were years ago, but we have less for so many reasons (house repairs, student loans, medical, etc.).  Vent away.  I hope something works out for you soon.  We are trying to get the frugal social group on here going again, if you want to join in.  We don't all have a whole lot of penny to pinch, but maybe we can help each other out with ideas and support?

[Um_2_4]

I totally understand being frustrated! I find myself occasionally checking the qualifications for SNAP (even though I know we won't qualify) as I look at food prices rise. I'm just glad we don't have to worry about health ins.(covered by his employer).

 

DH makes a good salary but we are supporting his mom & dad(+stepmom and 2 youngest sibs) (divorced,so 2 households).So really we are a household of 11, but they wouldn't count them as they don't live in the US. Now his siblings all help, but as he is the oldest, he takes most of it on (organizing it, covering any missed payments from sibs, etc.). And any major things come up, we cover it. Don;t get me wrong, I truly don't mind, this is how we do it,and the kids are learning a valuable lesson, we take care of family. But then people wonder why we don't have new cars, take vacations (even day trips, zoo whatnot), eat out (except 2x a year on our Holidays) since they know DH's profession and assume he makes the big $$$. And DH wonders why I get stressed going grocery shopping/budgeting. (he totally forgets that 25% of his salary was sent to his family.....HOW?.... I don't know!!). Just today I went grocery shopping  for the next week and was stressing as I had only $100. Literally every $ is accounted for on a spreadsheet and he is still surprised we have no extra each month.

 

And here in CA, ya $3K would barely squeak you by. A house (3bd) in an OK (not great) neighborhood runs $2K. And here they are strict about occupancy requirements. So a family of 6+ could not rent a 2 bd apt (even those run 1200-1700). I am so glad we bought when we did as we locked in a monthly payment around $1500 (incl property taxes/ins which around here are about $500/mo).

 

I know people live on less (not by much here in CA) but I don't know how. We know a single dad with 2 kids who is looking at around $10/hr jobs and a $1200 2bd apt and I am not sure how he is going to make it to be honest.