Advice. Job loss.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

What steps do we need to take?

 

DH has been laid off.

 

File for unemployment.

 

What else?

 

I'm feeling completely lost.

[momto10blessings]

I'm so sorry. No advice, but prayers that your family does not go through hardship and he finds a new job ASAP

[FriedClams]

When DH was laid off, the first thing we did was to sit down, hug, and purpose to get through it together. We purposed to have the experience help us grow together a d not bicker and fight about money, or job hunts, or time. We prayed for God's direction and protection in our marriage. At the time we had an infant and a 20 month old.

 

The rest I am sure others will help with. But please, say out loud, together, that you're a team and you'll work together. You need that comfort and he needs to know you respect him and will stand with him. And be kind to DH in your time of fear. He needs a cheerleader now. This is incredibly hard for a man and his sense of self worth.

[I talk to the trees]

:grouphug:  No advice, but I wanted to offer a hug!

[kewb]

The first thing we do in this situation is take a hard look at what our expenses are and what is a need versus want.

[Χά�ων]

The first thing we do in this situation is take a hard look at what our expenses are and what is a need versus want.

This and do an inventory of food (to stretch and plan meals), clothes (for growing children to see what, if anything they need for the next season).

 

Next, look up local food banks and map them out to have an idea how far to travel, when they are etc. Look up utility assistance and the requirements. Make a spread sheet of this information. May you never need it but if you do you have it.

 

Take outgrowth clothes and toys and find a consignment sale. It is time for winter clothes.

 

Find people unloading extra produce from their gardens.

[redsquirrel]

oh no. I am so sorry.

 

I hope he finds a new job quickly.

[happypamama]

I'm so sorry.  (((HUGS)))

 

First, hugs and prayers together and assurances to your husband that it's going to be okay are going to help all of you.

 

Yep, look at what expenses you can cut and what you can't.

 

If you have children under 5, contact WIC.  Also, contact the people who administer SNAP benefits, because at least you can eat.  They may also be the people who handle state insurance, so the children, at least, can have health care.

 

I don't have good advice about housing.  They say to call your mortgage company, if you have one, right away, but I think often companies won't do anything until you're already behind, which is kind of stupid, but there you go.

 

Is this expected to be a long-term thing, or a short-term?

[Twigs]

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

[myfunnybunch]

:grouphug: I am sorry.

[Peaceful Isle]

It's times like these you need to apply for all the assistance you can get, to help take care of you and your kiddos.

:( I'm so sorry you are going through this.

My dh is a pastor and has had many people come by the church looking for help during hard times. He used to pay many electrical bills with the church deacon fund ( it was ment to help others)

Ask churches for help. I know it might be embarrassing, but it's only for a season. Also, some churches have food banks as well.

Have a garage sale and sell items just laying around, outgrown clothes, toys etc.. Sell books here or on ebay.

 

Hugs to you. I understand how you feel. I've been there myself. Somehow, you will get through this time.

[Spryte]

Oh no.  :(

 

I'm so sorry.  Sending you hugs.

[MeghansMom]

Some good advice given.

 

Hugs and prayers. 

[Lanny]

Try to maintain your health/medical insurance if it is financially possible for your family.

 

Apply for Food Stamps. Possibly in the office where he applies for State Unemployment benefits, or, in the Food Stamp office, they will have information about other help that may be available in your community.

 

Reduce any expenses that can be reduced.   Drive as little as is possible, to save on Gas, etc.

 

I do not know what kind of work your DH does, but he should update his resume immediately! After he does that, he should spend HOURS registering on Monster.com and on CareerBuilder.com    The more time he spends filling everything in correctly and completely, the more companies seeking employees who will run across him.

 

Try to stay as relaxed and as calm as is possible under stressful circumstances.

 

Let EVERYONE you know know that he is unemployed. A large majority of jobs are filled by word of mouth and are not advertised. 

 

Consider a "temporary" position, which frequently is not so temporary.

 

GL

 

 

[SKL]

Try to maintain your health/medical insurance if it is financially possible for your family.

 

Apply for Food Stamps. Possibly in the office where he applies for State Unemployment benefits, or, in the Food Stamp office, they will have information about other help that may be available in your community.

 

Reduce any expenses that can be reduced.   Drive as little as is possible, to save on Gas, etc.

 

I do not know what kind of work your DH does, but he should update his resume immediately! After he does that, he should spend HOURS registering on Monster.com and on CareerBuilder.com    The more time he spends filling everything in correctly and completely, the more companies seeking employees who will run across him.

 

Try to stay as relaxed and as calm as is possible under stressful circumstances.

 

Let EVERYONE you know know that he is unemployed. A large majority of jobs are filled by word of mouth and are not advertised. 

 

Consider a "temporary" position, which frequently is not so temporary.

 

GL

 

Very good advice here, but I would add that you should investigate other alternatives for health care insurance (i.e., other than COBRA which is very expensive).  See if you can get a combination of high-deductible insurance plus a medical savings account (or just the high-deductible insurance).  But act quickly so there is no gap in insurance for the big stuff.  Take care of all the routine medical stuff you can before the end of the period already paid for by your employer, and postpone the rest if at all possible.

 

Make a call to someone who can tell you ALL the subsidies available to you.  One that comes to mind, that not everyone thinks of, is energy subsidies.

[idnib]

Cut all expenses you can. You may be surprised at how little you can live on if you normally spend money for your husband to get to work, if you normally put some money into retirement or savings, etc.

 

Do you have any savings to fall back on?

 

:grouphug: 

[TranquilMind]

What steps do we need to take?

 

DH has been laid off.

 

File for unemployment.

 

What else?

 

I'm feeling completely lost.

Oh no.  I'm sorry.  Yes, unemployment.  Prepare top quality resume.  Network with everyone you know who might be in need of someone.  I'd take anything that was reasonable and not hold out for a job in his field (and then keep looking).  I know someone who held out for something commensurate with his experience, and he was unemployed for awhile.    The economy is not good, despite what they are telling us. 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

He's started a resume already.

 

No savings it was depleted by medical bills.

 

Shutting down/off everything we can.

 

Canceling some events we registered for if I can get refunds.

[Susan C.]

We have been through this more than once, the first time is the hardest. :grouphug: First, you will live, I promise. There will be stress, you may accumulate debt (do your best to minimize it), and you may need to move. Keep your family in tact and you will make it. I'm trying to remember some of what I did to help with expenses and things we learned, although each situation is different. Moving in with parents was not an option for us.

1) store brand oatmeal for breakfast
2) lots of spaghetti, sauce and pasta bought on sale for days you want easy cooking
3) put back all expensive food (but eat healthy choices, stress and bad eating don't go well together)
4) do laundry more often and buy less clothes, especially if kids are growing, 4-5 outfits are plenty, and when dh was laid off, people automatically gave us hand-me-downs that were much appreciated
5) going out for pizza was a store bought one bought on sale
6) date night was watching an owned dvd after the kids were in bed
7) when dh had an interview in another city, he got mileage, and we all went and spied to see if we wanted to live there (so it was no/low cost and we could get an idea of how much salary he needed there, and we made sandwiches to minimize eating out)
8) don't move too quickly in case he finds something locally, but don't drag it out too long either if you are sure you have no options in your current location
9) do fun, low/no cost things as a family, I was surprised by the fact that when we went out for the day, with food packed, how that normalized things
10) don't go through the drive thru for snacks and drinks, take them, get used to a cooler and your water, if you must, do the dollar menu to just hold you until you get  home
11) if you are not sure about a location, take the moving expenses and put dh in an apartment with camping chair/air mattress to test things, if its good, you can pack in with him (and visit) if not, he just comes home, much better than moving twice, or getting stuck in a less than desirable location…
12) find out from others if a part time job for dh is a good idea… it may be a wash with unemployment, which goes down by what you earn, you getting a part time job (if you can) doesn't count against it
13) don't call the mortgage company until you can't pay
14) a short term health insurance policy helps close the gap between jobs, we took high deductible to minimize cost

Best wishes, and so sorry you have to go through this.

[Tess in the Burbs]

well what to do has a lot to depend on the situation.  Was there any severance pay?  Or he's just out of work and you have no paycheck this week?  Do you have savings? Do you rent or own a home?  

 

I would file for unemployment and if you have kids 5 or under get to the WIC office ASAP for food!  It takes forever and you have to have the kids with you.  Plus a lot of paperwork.  But it's worth the time.  The food coupons are really good and even when dh got another job I had food items for months later.  It helped us through a rough patch. 

 

We owned a home when he got laid off.  We waited it out for a few months using severance pay to live on.  Then we had to list it.  It sold quickly.  At that point the kids and I went to a family's house and dh stayed with a friend in a town with more jobs.  Having no rent helped.  When he got another job(paying less) we all moved into an apt together where the job was.  It was hard but worth not having the cost of housing those months. 

 

Dh also had the chance to work with a career person.  She helped him rework his resume and work on interviewing.  It would be worth the cost to have that information.  

 

And don't hesitate to sell things to have cash available.  You do not know how long you will need to be frugal.  Live for today and do what you must do to make ends meet.  

 

In our case I did not get a job.  Dh was job searching full time and our kids were so young...he wanted me to stay home with them.  It worked out in a few months.  But we had to sell our home.  We had just moved cross country, had a baby, and bought a house.  So it was hard to let it go :-(  We had put down a large downpayment...all gone. 

 

Keep communicating with your husband.  Be honest with the kids.  and start considering your options.  He needs to be networking.  Calling every person he knows in his field.  And be prepared to take a lower paying job for awhile to get back where he would like to be.  

[East Coast Sue]

I would recommend letting everyone know that your dh is looking for work and be ready to offer a quick summary of his qualifications/line of work. So many jobs are filled by word of mouth- it's really crazy.  My dh lost his job suddenly when his company was sold and it was a quick conversation with a man at a job fair that eventually led to a job offer in another region of the country. So, I'd also say be ready to move, if its possible that his next job will be in a different state. We put our house on the market right away, knowing that we would have to be able to relocate quickly. I also found out I was pregnant with #4 the day my dh lost his job, and we found prayer to be essential.

 

 

[umsami]

Some communities have funds for electric bills for heating and/or cooling (depending on the climate).  Your power company may have info.

 

If you tell your cable people (and others), often times the customer service rep will try and find a "deal" for you.  When DH was unemployed, they extended a 19.99/month internet rate for us for a full year vs. 6 months.

 

If DH is not on LinkedIn, join.  Network with people.  Ask if they know if anybody is looking. Be proactive.  Make it a goal to contact x number of people each day.

[Susan C.]

So, I'd also say be ready to move, if its possible that his next job will be in a different state.

 

Every day I filled a large trash bag to either throw out or give away (or sell if there is time). It was good for the nerves to be doing something when there wasn't anything else I could do.

[SKL]

No savings it was depleted by medical bills.

 

If you still have outstanding medical bills or any projected in the near future, contact the hospital / doctor's office and tell them you have lost your sole source of income and ask if they have any provisions to write off bills due to indigence.  They probably do.

 

If you have medical bills because you don't have insurance, see if you or your kids now qualify for Medicaid (for future needs).

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Adding all the advice to my to do list, thank you.

[idnib]

Sign up for your local Freecycle if you have one.

[Mergath]

I would look into free summer breakfast and lunch programs in your area.  If there's one close by, it would be a good way to cut food costs.

 

If you have something like a workforce center in your area, have your dh contact them to see if they know about any job openings in his field in the area.  Also, if he doesn't qualify for unemployment for some reason, have him sign up with a temp agency to get whatever work he can.  A lot of companies around here actually do all of their hiring through temp agencies and don't advertise at all.

[Another Lynn]

I'm sorry.  :grouphug:

[BlessedMom]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[Aelwydd]

What steps do we need to take?

 

DH has been laid off.

 

File for unemployment.

 

What else?

 

I'm feeling completely lost.

 

Best personal advice: don't let this lower your opinion of yourselves. When dh got laid off several years ago, due to funding cuts eliminating his position, he felt horrible, and even ashamed. We both felt like we'd somehow failed, though he'd done nothing wrong, and in fact, had won several awards for his quality of work. It was just a shock.

 

It is no reflection of you and your husband's worth, so take a very practical view and do what needs to be done, and don't apologize for using whatever resources are available.

 

Best professional advice: after filing for unemployment, start making contacts with anyone in dh's network. Old college contacts, old work contacts, even contacts at church. After dh got laid off, I got my current (very good job) through a brother-in-law who worked in a company that needed someone.  I didn't have a clearly related background in the job, per se, but I had a degree and BILs recommendation. I needed both to get hired.  Sometimes, all you need is just the recommendation and some decent job experience. But, that personal inside to the company -- is critical so often these days. If I'd had just a degree and no personal contact, my resume would have sat in a recycling pile with hundreds of others.

 

Hope some morsel of that is helpful in some way. Also, :grouphug:  because losing your job is stressful, and it totally sucks.  Best of wishes finding a new position quickly!

[Desert Rat]

I'm so sorry! Lay-offs are really horrid.

Dh was laid off for 16 months, all of 2010. I sure hope yours is a short one with a job around the corner, but here are a few things we learned along the way.

We discussed our priorities. Home, food (obviously), but also the boys' activities. We wanted to keep things as normal as we could for them. 

We went down to one car. Actually, this one was done for us. 3 weeks after my dh was laid off, a drunk driver totaled his car. We were devastated at the time, but that meant no car payment and no extra insurance. We still have only one vehicle and are doing just fine. 

I started cleaning houses at that point to help with income. Every little bit helps. Ask people if they need help babysitting. Elderly people might hire you to do shopping, driving, etc. 

I got really good and couponing and shopping sales.

No new clothes for adults. Boys got the bare minimum. 

No eating out, no fun stuff that required money. We did keep the cable though. It was on our list as the last thing to go. Our personal decision. It was the one thing in the entertainment category that we felt was important. We did cut it down to bare bones though.


It was a horrible time in our lives. I never want to go through it again and have a few hang ups now from spending so long in limbo. But, here's a few positives that came from that period of our lives:

The boys' got to know their dad in a much more intimate way. And my dh got to understand what I really did all day long. It's been amazing for our relationships.

My boys learned that money doesn't equal happiness and even 4 years later are great bargain hunters and frugal spenders.

We realized that desperate times didn't mean we couldn't laugh. We did and often. It's the one thing that saved us.

I learned not to worry. I wish I could tell you how. I think it was that I just had so much to worry about that I couldn't worry about any of it.

I learned to graciously accept help. And today I pay that forward. 

And we learned that, although it seems like it will last forever, it didn't.



Good luck to you! I hope this time in your life is a very short one! 

[msrift]

All great advice. I'll add re: resume updating. Depending on his career field, he'll want to get a LinkedIn account set up. A surprising amount of headhunters and hr people troll there both looking for possible prospects and also to verify resume info. Also it is a wonderful way to network, which is the #1 way to find a new job. It's not what you know, it's who you know.

[Catwoman]

I'm so sorry!!! :grouphug:

[Arctic Bunny]

Just wanted to send hugs your way.

[Alessandra]

I don't know if I should say this on a hs board, but if your kids are school age, they could qualify for free or subsidized breakfast and lunch if they are enrolled in school. I apologize if this is out of line.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

I don't know if I should say this on a hs board, but if your kids are school age, they could qualify for free or subsidized breakfast and lunch if they are enrolled in school. I apologize if this is out of line.

Not out of line, realistic.

 

If we move, which is likely since we won't be able to pay our mortgage, school may be an option. Where we live at the moment it isn't.

[shanvan]

We just faced this ourselves.  It took Dh about 9 months to find another job and his pay now is quite a bit less than it was prior to unemployment.  We are still recovering financially, still having to live much more frugally than we have in the past.    

 

I agree with Susan C.  decluttering and donating were therapeutic for me.  I also found enough things to have a yard sale and quite a bit of curriculum to sell online.  

 

We are fortunate to live near a very good library, so that helped keep us entertained without having to spend a lot of money.  

 

The best advice we received was to make sure your Dh has a top notch resume.  Make sure you get some feedback about it before sending it out or posting it online.  Do the research to be sure his resume isn't ruling him out as a candidate.  Resumes are not the same now as they were 20 years ago--or even 10 years ago.  For that matter, neither is interviewing.     

 

This is a post I made to another WTMer telling what helped us.  Hope some of the advice helps...

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/507173-sudden-unemployment/?hl=%2Bresume&do=findComment&comment=5522042

 

 

[Ottakee]

For health care, you might qualify for free or reduced insurance during this time. You can apply at your local DHS office or check out the healthcare.gov website.  You can also check on WIC, food stamps, utility help, etc.

 

Get on your local facebook page as sometimes jobs are linked there.  Have him visit the local agency that helps with resumes, job searches, etc.  Some local churches in our area host a once a week support group and job search/networking group so that might be an option.

 

Try to set aside just a bit of "fun" money a week for you and dh and the family.  Doesn't have to be much but the ability to have just a tiny treat (even a 50 cent mcDonalds icecream cone) can make tough situations look better.

 

Check your local area for free or very low cost entertainment ideas----library, parks, recreation center, churches, local colleges, etc.  Often you can find free or very low cost activities.

[East Coast Sue]

I haven't read through all the replies so forgive me if this has been covered, what is your dh's line of work?  Maybe someone here can help with specific tips on updating a resume or passing along a job contact. My dh interviewed several people just last week and the resume was a huge part of the hiring decision.

 

[Arcadia]

Employee referral is even more common now than a few years ago. Network all you can and let friends know he is looking for work.

 

Medical bills can be written off but you have to call and nag.

 

Good luck.

[Carrie75]

Employee referral is huge now for sure. Linkedin is the place to be for most job offers these days. There are a ton of recruiters on there from various companies looking for new hires.

[Debbi in Texas]

I would definately check into Linkedn,but also try indeed.com. My dh has used it to find 3 jobs and is very pleased with it.

[idnib]

:grouphug:  We're in the same boat. It's been a month. Dh's had two interviews, but they've come to naught. He's picked up some construction work/remodel things. He's sort of stalled out right now because we need to get haying done. However, we can't even start as it's raining again! Moving is not an option for us as we can't exactly move the ranch. Let me warn you--it's going to get harder as time goes on. It's scary. I had to explain to a guy the other day who was not understanding his wife right now--um, women crave security and when they feel the sands shifting, they do stuff you don't expect them to do. It's hard not to nag--ask me how I know... I wish we could accept help, but because of the ranch, we don't qualify for anything. Only problem, we've gotten no wages from the ranch for 30 years. I am missing my oldest dd, but it's one less to feed. And I'll have two more leaving in several weeks. I'm having trouble keeping weight on ds as I had to cut off his milk drinking habit. He'll survive until he gets to the dorm!  :laugh:

 

Keep your chin up!  :grouphug:

 

 

:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug: 

 

Sorry to hear about all this.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I had a really skinny friend (6'2", 132 lbs) and he put on 10 lbs between the first day of college and Christmas break, thanks to the self-serve milk machine!