What is acceptable for teenage DD to wear for Sunday morning church?

[H.S. Burrow]

I will admit to being rather old-fashioned;)when it comes to what teens should wear to church. DD wants to wear jeans to church on Sunday mornings - she says "God doesn't care what I wear." And while I agree that God doesn't care what we wear, I was taught growing up that we dressed in our "Sunday best" out of respect for God and our church....to signify the importance of Sunday worship.

 

A few years ago, before we moved back to DH's hometown, we were members of a small, rural church in which most of the congregation were old enough to be my grandparents and *they* wore, jeans, capris, *shorts* (walking/bermuda/long shorts but shorts) and very casual clothes.

 

Now we're back in town attending the church of his childhood and while most of the youth do not dress up for church - they do not all wear jeans.

 

So I'm asking the Hive, what do you feel is appropriate for teen girls to wear to church?

The poll is private. Please expand on your answer if you choose other.

THANKS!! My DD will appreciate your help!

[Chris in VA]

Well, I've seen everything from belly shirts and cut-offs to semi-formals! Sometimes it depends on the type of worship and the style of the congregation. I think you could probably compromise with non-jeans, but pants ok.

Personally, my dd doesn't have enough *really nice* church clothes, so she wears mostly Land's End-type skirts and dresses. Some Sundays at our parish are more casual. I don't feel comfortable dressing her or myself in jeans. Of course, she's only 8.

[cin]

most of our teens wear jeans. The girls wear dresses occasionally, but it is not the norm. Capris, even shorts (longer ones) and t-shirts. No tanks though. Heck, my standard Sunday wear is a pair of denim capris. I'm sure there are churches where Sunday Best is still done, but it is not a requirement at our church.

 

Among adults, our church runs the full gamut. Jeans & shorts to Full Sunday Best. It is a matter of personal taste. I am of the camp that, being a full-time mom, I dont' think God requires me to buy clothing just for church. I don't wear anything special when I worship Him during the week. But, that's me. ;)

[Mrs Mungo]

I voted other. I think it really depends upon the location and church. We've attended churches where shorts were the norm and churches where the pastor actually complained from the pulpit about people wearing sandals. We currently live in Hawaii where you'd be hard-pressed to tell people not to wear flip-flops (or slippers as they are called here).

[Aubrey]

Alright, I"m treading lightly here, since we're dealing w/ adolescence...lol.

 

First, dressing up on Sundays has always bothered me. While "Sunday best" was *taught* to be "the best that one has," I heard the comments that people made about ea others' attire, even as a kid. To me...I guess this has always seemed divisive. Like something that would keep people out of church instead of the other way around.

 

Now, as I've gotten older, it has bothered me a little to see how casual church has gotten because it does seem to effect attitude. On the one hand. But on the other hand, esp w/ little dc & pg & post pg shapes, I've been really grateful, too, to not have to dress up in some churches.

 

So the point of all that is that I agree that God doesn't care what we wear but instead about the state of our hearts. I expected your post to be about a girl wanting to wear skirts that were too short, etc., but the jeans...

 

I asked dh what he thought before posting, to make sure I'm not way off. (Although we could definitely both be way off, lol.) In the words of Alphabet Pam, I wouldn't make this a hill to die on. Focus instead on her heart, you know?

 

As far as what to do, I think I'd pray about it. Ask the Lord to change her heart if nec--there *may* be a lack of respect in her clothing choice--but be willing for Him to change yours as well. I think she'll be more open to His leading if you haven't made an issue of it, & I think it's poss that "tradition" has placed a little too much value on outward appearances, too.

 

Iow, if both your hearts change about the issue, you'll move toward ea other on it. Kwim? And I think that will be easier if neither of you has staked anything big on being right. I mean...you know how it can be w/ teens. (I say from the perspective of having been one, lol.)

 

GL! And fwiw, it sounds like a pretty good problem to have.

[Margo out of lurking]

I agree that it mostly depends on the church. Our teens dress very casually. The only thing that I can think I would not allow my dd to wear would be anything too revealing--which she wouldn't be allowed to wear anyplace.

 

I wouldn't let my kids wear gym shorts, and I usually won't let my ds wear anything like a Spiderman shirt--but depending on his bottoms, I will. Dh likes to dress up; I don't. I wore tan Levi capris today and flip-flop type sandals; dh wore black Dockers, a polo shirt, and black dress shoes. Just looking at him made me hot--as in "he's gonna die in the heat!"

[Mrs Mungo]

dh wore black Dockers, a polo shirt, and black dress shoes. Just looking at him made me hot--as in "he's gonna die in the heat!"

 

I'm glad you clarified that point! :lol: This seriously made me laugh out loud, thanks!

[Kelli in TN]

I don't think it matters a great deal, as long as it is modest. Jeans in church use to freak me out. I outgrew that.

[H.S. Burrow]

Thanks ladies for responding!:)

 

I *did* allow DD to wear her best jeans, a nice button down shirt and her good boots - yep, we're in Texas;) - to church this morning. She was happy and felt more comfortable with the youth group.

 

Only one of the girls at church this morning had on a skirt - it was a casual white skirt and she wore a black t-shirt (nice) and black & white Converse high-tops....which is why sneakers are mentioned in this poll!

 

Aubrey, I really like what you had to say and will be sharing it with DD. She was not being disrespectful *today* - last Sunday with every piece of clothing not matching/blending with the other and a camo ponytail holder - that was being disrespectful....and we had ourselves a BIG discussion on it and MOM picked *everything* she wore last Sunday.

[Danestress]

We worship with a planted church that sets up every week in the gym of a YMCA. I know. It's night really an ideal place, and sometimes I really miss the beautiful churches I have worshipped in in the past.

 

But it's our family. It's truly "home" for us right now, so we do it.

 

Many of our members spend time hauling chairs off the truck and setting them up, along with a sound system, our alter and backdrop etc. It's hard work, and the teenagers help a lot with it.

 

We end up pretty casual. Jeans. T-shirts. It's not what I would choose, but it's what our family does, and I'm fine with it. And it feels like the Holy Spirit is there, you know?

 

For myself, I guess I still dress up a bit, but probably more because I like the way it looks and feels than out of a real piety.

[Jenny in Florida]

I hope that doesn't confuse your poll.

 

There's a fair amount of diversity in terms of clothing at our church. Some of the older folks dress up, but it would be very, very rare to see anyone wearing panty hose or heels. We usually aim for the nice side of casual, and I frequently wear jeans, myself.

 

I do try to wear my good, black jeans and one of my nicer t-shirts and the good tennis shoes without holes in them, but that would be about as far as I would go. The kids usually follow suit, and we very much fit in with the crowd.

 

As I said, though, there is a range, and most weeks you would find a few folks in dressier pants or skirts and tops.

 

As long as what my teen wanted to wear was appropriately modest and not too different from what others her age were wearing, I probably wouldn't lose sleep over this one.

[TravelingChris]

It really depends on the church and the location. No one here wears hose and that includes elderly ladies. It is too hot and muggy. My girls like to usually dress up like today dd15 was going to wear a gorgeous Indian outfit except she couldn't figure out how to wrap the one piece in time and I was too busy to help. Usually the younger wears dresses, skirts, or pants and a shirt, while the older one often wears shorts and a t-shirt during choir season where she wears a robe over that.

[Kari C in SC]

I chose other because I didn't see shorts as an option on the poll. We live in SC and attend Calvary Chapel. Most people are casual here. A few really dress up though. The teens either wear jeans or shorts. I wore shorts and a basic white t-shirt with sandals today. My mom goes to church with me now. She was raised Catholic and probably would have freaked out if I wore shorts to church as a kid. Now, she doesn't seem to care at all. I am actually pretty new to going to church - been a Christian for a long time - just didn't attend church regularly. I really love how easy it is to go to this church. I don't have the stress of picking stuff out for my kids to wear, etc. I do think it should be tasteful and not revealing. My family doesn't dress that way on any day. I just get dressed like it is any other day. Then I go and sing praise songs till my heart is full and learn from the message. I really think what I am wearing has nothing to do with it.

[Matryoshka]

People in our church wear everything from jeans to dresses and suits. But we're in a very liberal congregation, so I guess conformity's not our thing...:tongue_smilie:

 

I personally like getting dressed up for church. Dh wore his suit when we first started going, but I think now he mostly wears Dockers and a nice shirt - no jeans. I usually wear a dress or skirt, but sometimes a nice pair of pants and top.

 

My three girls still insist on wearing dresses, and the nicest shoes they have (if we can find them). But they're not teens yet...

[snickelfritz]

1. It should fit in. Whether you're church is very dressy or very casual, the clothing of an individual shouldn't be a distraction.

 

2. It should fit. Not be too tight, too short, etc...

 

3. It should cover things that should be covered. A strapless dress with sandles is less appropriate than jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers.

 

4. No stains, no rips, no wrinkles.

[elegantlion]

I think it depends on the church. I've been in dressy churches and very casual churches, as in the pastor wearing jeans.

 

As a teen I'd want to fit in with what others were wearing. As the parent I'd want her to be the best dressed in the bunch.

 

I'll use an old business philosophy. If you are giving a presentation you want to be dressed 10% better than your audience. So if everyone is wearing jeans, okay, but they have to be the nice jeans, and make sure the top is more modest. Church is not the place to be flashing flesh.

[mktkcb]

It really is both a regional as well as a cultural thing. I grew up in churches where you dressed decently nice for church. ie dress or nice skirt, blouse or nice shirt, sunday sandals or shoes. While I don't think God "cares" in one sense of the word, I think there is something to be said for learning to dress for an occasion. Dr. Laura once said something that has stuck with me, when some teenager called her asking about this issue. She said that dressing nicely "elevates the occasion", and that religious services in her opinion were occasions that ought to be elevated. I have mulled that over more than once, and I have decided that I agree with her. We live in So CA, and our church dresses (in general) middle of the road to nice for Sunday Morning (a few girls/women in jeans, but not the majority, and most in nice pants/skirts/dresses), and casual for Sun night (jeans/shorts/whatever). The Pastor wears suits in the morning, and casual at night. I focus more on modesty with my girls, and the principle of "elevating the occasion". My general rule with my ds is shirts with collars, usually no jeans. He varies between nice casual, with tennis shoes/sandals, and dress casual, with sunday shoes. Sometimes it depends on the state of the laundry LOL :o).

HTH,

Kayleen

[Old Dominion Heather]

I think modesty is the only thing I care about. I just don't want to see anyone's thong while I'm trying to pray. Or actually, ever. Eww. I might wear them, but I don't want to see yours!

[fivetails]

Lots of the teens - and lots of the adults - wear jeans at our church. :) ....I have, and both kids have ( I prefer to wear a skirt though, myself)... it varies.....This morning, for instance, dd11 wore her favourite pair of jean capri things (they come to just above her knees - is that capri or long short? I dunno LOL) and a t-shirt....it had some sort of design on it - I don't remember what. Typical preteen t-shirt, funky design of some sort. She wore sandals with pink straps, bare feet. (She lives bare foot in the summer) ..... all the girls around her age were dressed about the same.

 

Sometimes, she likes to dress up - sometimes she doesn't. It's all good to me, so long as it's appropriate from a modesty standpoint -- but that applies to everything she wears, not specifically to church. (IE - no mini skirts, booty shorts, words on the arse, low cut, etc stuff!)

 

Somebody mentioned a camo scrunchy - I've got one of those myself somewhere (long hair, it's almost always in a scrunchie ponytail or braid), and camo socks too. I've worn them to church, never gave it a second thought - they're just scrunchies and socks. ;)

[gardening momma]

I didn't realize until after I voted that I could have picked more than one option. I would choose everything in the list except for jeans and "does not matter."

[Laurie4b]

My answer isn't included above: it would be, "It doesn't matter as long as it's modest." Goes for boys as well as girls.

[TwinMominTX]

for my step-daugther to dress in such a way that if Jesus himself was handing out communion that she wouldn't be embarassed by her attire.

 

After she was old enough to grasp that concept I left her clothing choice up to her.

[siloam]

1. It should fit in. Whether you're church is very dressy or very casual, the clothing of an individual shouldn't be a distraction.

 

2. It should fit. Not be too tight, too short, etc...

 

3. It should cover things that should be covered. A strapless dress with sandles is less appropriate than jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers.

 

4. No stains, no rips, no wrinkles.

 

I am with Erica.

 

Here in Oregon we have a lot of casual churches. My old pastor only wore shorts year around. Shorts and a T-shirt. In fact for Harvest Festival one year he dressed up as a preacher in a 3 piece suit. :D

 

In our current church the teens all wear jeans, and tend towards a gothic/grunge look. Not my thing but at least they are well covered. The only complaint I have is form fitting t-shirts that are in right now. They are very boarder line, and I would only allow my girls to wear them to church with a shirt over the top of them.

 

I also encourage the kids away from logo shirts for church.

 

Heather

 

[OnTheBrink]

I voted other, because I honestly don't care what teens wear, with one caveat. I believe if the dress is distracting, it's inappropriate. We had one family with 2 teen daughters. The girls consistently wore short shorts with "princess" across the butt, tight t-shirts, hair up in high pony tails. They were a distraction and, IMO, scandalous in their dress. What man wouldn't be distracted by butt cheeks hanging out and tight tops on young women? Their parents took the position that at least they were in church, which was good, I guess; but what about teaching their daughters that there is something called respect for others and self, no matter where you are.

 

Overall, I think people should be comfortable and clothes shouldn't be distracting, to both the wearer or other around them.

[TN Mama]

I don't think it matters a great deal, as long as it is modest. Jeans in church use to freak me out. I outgrew that.

 

I could have written this post myself. Members of our church dress in shorts on up to Sunday best. I stick to the middle usually.

[Plaid Dad]

I agree with those who say that it depends very much on the church. At my church, teen girls usually wear dresses or skirts. Jeans are borderline, and shorts are not considered appropriate attire for anyone.

 

At my dw's church, on the other hand, dress is very casual. Jeans are the norm and shorts are common in the summer. Some of the young women dress up more, but it's not expected.

[Miss Marple]

I agree. As a mom, I appreciate it when other moms or their kids respect the presence of others in the congregation. It's hard enough for me to keep my eyes off the young teen gal wearing a red thong under a white slinky skirt; I can only imagine what's going on in the minds of my teenage boys. I personally have a problem with strapless and spaghetti straps, too. To me, those are not appropriate for church - they may be fine for a night out or a special party, but not church - esp. when the gal wearing it is a bit heavy and is bulging out all over the place (just had that experience this morning :-( And the fellas need to invest in a belt rather than show their boxers to the rest of us.

[Jugglin'5]

I will be a naysayer. We still dress up for church (no pantyhose, though). As a previous poster stated, I believe it is important to elevate the occasion. I ask my kids what they would wear if they were having an audience with the Queen of England. God deserves no less. In church we are "ascending into the heavenly places" as a congregation, and I believe we should show respect for Who we are appearing before. People will dress up to go eat at a restaurant, go to a wedding, to a job interview, but God...nah.

 

I should add that we don't always live up to our own standard. My youngest had on jeans this morning, because his pants had all gotten too short somehow. But they were nice jeans, and he still had on his tie, by golly.

 

I also wanted to add that we would never look down on someone who was too poor to buy dress clothes, or someone who was new. But I think we should all do the best we can.

[mrscopterdoc]

Our church is very casual and since a lot of people come straight from work especially on Wednesday night, you get everything from dresses to jeans to scrubs. I personally don't think God cares...He only cares that you are there and paying attention to Him. ;)

 

My parents go to a very "dressy" church where pantyhose and heels are the norm. Money is tight as it is and if I have to spend more money on clothes that I will only wear to church...I don't think that is right. If what I wear during the week and daily when I talk to Him is good enough then, why isn't it good enough on Sunday?

 

I do agree with many others it should be clean and maybe dressier than my house cleaning sweats. And as for teenagers, everything should be covered, and covered well. Other than that...the message is more important than some imposed dress code.

 

Okay off my soap box now. :D

[Julie in CA]

I will be a naysayer. We still dress up for church (no pantyhose' date=' though). As a previous poster stated, I believe it is important to elevate the occasion. I ask my kids what they would wear if they were having an audience with the Queen of England. God deserves no less. In church we are "ascending into the heavenly places" as a congregation, and I believe we should show respect for Who we are appearing before. People will dress up to go eat at a restaurant, go to a wedding, to a job interview, but God...nah.

 

I should add that we don't always live up to our own standard. My youngest had on jeans this morning, because his pants had all gotten too short somehow. But they were [i']nice[/i] jeans, and he still had on his tie, by golly.

 

I also wanted to add that we would never look down on someone who was too poor to buy dress clothes, or someone who was new. But I think we should all do the best we can.

 

:iagree: This is the perspective in our home too--right down to the last couple of sentences!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

What I would not like to see is really short skirts, t-shirts that are super duper tight and/or with messages on them, holes in pants, revealing tanks and such.

 

Jeans, if decent and hiney not showing, are fine. Dressier, fine if want. Basically, the clothing should cover the body enough to not be considered indecent by most, clean, and fit reasonably well.

[FriedClams]

My big rules for church dress are 1. appropriate and 2. Modest. For the kids - by must wear a collared shirt, shorts with pockets (we're in the HOT south) and socks with sneakers. Girl is a dress or skirt. They have to be clean, in good repair and yes - we stress an effort to put on "Sunday best". I think dress has a lot to do with attitude and I want our attitude and behavior at church to be different than say, heading to the library. For modesty - if you lift your hands over your head and your belly hangs out - it's now a pajama shirt. Same if you bend over and your butt hangs out. Those are our general rules - but each family is different and must do what works for them and their beliefs and their kids.

 

I think regardless of what you allow - having tweens/teens do a 360 mirror check is mandatory. To say it was distracting to sit behind a young "lady" in a strapless dress on week looking nothing short of naked (the dress top was below the pew top, so all you saw was 100% skin) would be an understatement. I think that's a stumbling block to every man in the building and totally inappropriate. No, slips aren't popular now - but they SHOULD be - and many a young "lady" should head out and buy one! Bra straps hanging out of tanks at church (or anywhere else) is gross. And my last pet peeve before I get flamed here - when we were young and something needed to be adjusted we were told to head to the rest room. I remember being nagged by my mom to not even play with my hair in public - it was rude and needed to be managed in the privacy of the rest room. I think that rule (adjust EVERYTHING in private and stop yanking at every, single little thing on your body in plain view of the rest of us!) should be beat into the heads of the youth of today.

 

Ok, Thanks for letting me vent. I think your post (the OP here) is a great one and I think your DD sounds like a gem!

[AndyJoy]

For me, "dressing up" for church is a way to prepare myself for this special time of worship. I dress casually most of the time during the week, so Sunday is my day to put extra care into what I wear and make the day feel more "set apart."

 

In my family, it was expected that girls wore dresses to church. As a child, I was never a "girly-girl", so most of my dresses/skirts were very casual and plain (solid colors, plaid, or denim; no pink, flowers, or lace). However, this was still a distinctive difference from the weekdays when I rarely wore a dress by choice. As dress-wearing was expected, and most girls at my church wore them, I never questioned this.

 

As a teen, I was expected to wear a dress/skirt or occasionally nice pants, but never jeans. I never had a problem with this. In my youth group, I would estimate that the girls wore 1/3 jeans, 1/3 casual dresses/skirts, 1/3 dressy dresses. The boys wore 1/2 jeans and t-shirts, 1/2 slacks and button shirts (a few with ties).

 

As an adult, it has become more important to me to dress up for Sundays. It may sound silly, but somehow wearing a nice dress affects my mental attitude. Dressing up is a break from my weekly routine of throwing on something clean and comfortable. I choose, iron, and set my church clothes on Saturday night, and use that time to mull over my week and mentally prepare myself for corporate worship. Dressing up helps me take the time to remind myself of the importance of church and to see it as a special occasion, not just one more thing in my routine or one more thing to check off my to-do list.

 

I have no problem with others choosing to dress differently (assuming they are modest and not distracting!), but I personally always wear a skirt or dress. I plan to have my daughter(s) wear dresses and communicate to them why our family does so. Also, in case you are wondering, I plan for my son(s) to wear slacks or dress shorts and polos or button up shirts.

[Parrothead]

I would stop at anything more casual than jeans - nice jeans, no holes.

 

For me shorts, mini-skirts, midriffs, bathing suits showing, are not acceptable. I hate seeing women with their bathing suits straps showing around their neck.

[Mrs Mungo]

I will be a naysayer. We still dress up for church (no pantyhose' date=' though). As a previous poster stated, I believe it is important to elevate the occasion. I ask my kids what they would wear if they were having an audience with the Queen of England. God deserves no less. In church we are "ascending into the heavenly places" as a congregation, and I believe we should show respect for Who we are appearing before. People will dress up to go eat at a restaurant, go to a wedding, to a job interview, but God...nah.

 

I should add that we don't always live up to our own standard. My youngest had on jeans this morning, because his pants had all gotten too short somehow. But they were [i']nice[/i] jeans, and he still had on his tie, by golly.

 

I also wanted to add that we would never look down on someone who was too poor to buy dress clothes, or someone who was new. But I think we should all do the best we can.

 

There was a girl in the youth group in one church we attended who always dressed to the nines. The youth called her "sparkles." I think being on the extreme end of the spectrum can be "distracting," either way.

[Mrs Mungo]

I would stop at anything more casual than jeans - nice jeans, no holes.

 

For me shorts, mini-skirts, midriffs, bathing suits showing, are not acceptable. I hate seeing women with their bathing suits straps showing around their neck.

 

Women are wearing swimsuits to *church*!?!

 

Or are you complaining about swimsuit straps showing, in general? I'm not going to change clothes completely just because we go snorkeling at one beach, stop for lunch and then go swim at another beach. But, I'm sure there are many here who would lump me firmly into the immodest camp. *shrug*

[Susan in TX]

I checked "other" but my answer is really "all of the above". We used to be very strict about what our girls wore to church ie you must wear a dress but then they started going to a church where the dress is very casual and we relaxed our standards a bit. So I think it really all depends on how others in the congregation dress. If everyone is casual and nobody cares what you wear then sure, go ahead and wear your blue jeans. But, on the other hand, if you are going to a church where everyone dresses up and finds casual dress disrespectful or irreverent, then by all means, wear a nice dress!

 

Susan in TX

[Slartibartfast]

IMO you should be covered from your knees to your neck and not super tight.

 

I just mean no SHORT shorts/short skirts/no boobies showing

 

Beyond that, it depends on the church. I am not sending my dd to church in panty hose if everyone else is wearing capris

[Nestof3]

I cannot really vote very well on this, but I don't see "church" dressing as any other dressing. I think women should dress modestly anytime they are around other people. I don't go to church to meet God (He's everywhere)-- I go to fellowship with other believers and be encouraged in my walk. I don't dress "up" -- I just dress modestly. For what it's worth, I wear long skirts for the most part and don't wear low-cut or tight anywhere. It seems to me if we are to be light and salt, we would not allow any hypocrisy in our dress -- meaning, we wouldn't try to dress differently for God and other believers than we would for the world.

[HSMom2One]

When I visit down south, people dress up in their best, and I imagine it is very similar on the east coast. I really don't know how it is currently in the midwest, but my parents are from the Dakotas and they were taught to wear their Sunday best too. It may be different now for all I know.

 

Out here in the Pacific NW we are very, very laid back. I think I can honestly speak for the west coast in saying that Sunday mornings in church run completely across the gamut when it comes to wardrobe. People that come to church regularly mostly wear casual clothing ranging from jeans to dockers for both men and women, and many women also wear dresses. I haven't seen a man in a suit in church for many years. Most men wear casual clothes here, including shorts and sandals.

 

I personally don't care, as long as people are decently dressed and they are in church. I encourage my daughter to wear dresses, but if she chooses pants and is neat and clean I don't give her a hard time. It's what's in her heart that really matters. We also belong to a church that reaches out to the oppressed, and we don't want anyone to feel that they have to dress a certain way in order to join us for worship.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[Plucky]

Yes, and extra brownie points for showers and deodorant. And huge, huge, brownie points for not drowning in perfume.

[Kim in SouthGa]

I voted other...to me, it is not the style of dress that is important but the fact that it should be modest. Today I asked my 12ds what he noticed at church and he said the teenage girl in front of him with her bra straps hanging out of her shirt:glare: I think dress should always be modest, no matter where you are, but especially at church-this is supposed to be a safe haven! What does modest mean? I think there are many interpretations, but most of us will agree that if you can't bend over without your "books" or your hiny hanging out, you're not modestly dressed.

[In The Great White North]

We usually dress up, which for us amounts to "business casual."

 

This actually caused a problem with dd (11) last year.. We ended up staying over Saturday night without planning on it (or packing for it) and had to go to church Sunday in our painting clothes or not at all. After going to Mass in the field in BDUs that hadn't been washed for weeks, I wasn't about to miss it for lack of dress clothes.

 

Dd was so used to dressing for church, she had a hard time letting go of it that Sunday.

[Michele B]

Modesty!! I want my daughters to dress modestly and nicely. I don't force them into Strasburg and panty hose, but I think some thought about where we are going and why we are going there. We have teenage girls coming in in spaghetti strap dresses with bra straps showing and very short skirts. Do you dress to please yourself and make the boys stare and look cool in front of the other girls? If so I think your priorities are a bit mixed. But what teenager doesn't have mixed priorities? So I think mommie and daddy need to set some boundaries.

 

Now I grew up in a Baptist church, I am catholic now, and there was a family who dressed their daughter in braids and long prairie dresses. That wasn't just modesty - that was a deliberate separation from others her age. And it was. I don't even know that I ever knew her name. That was even a bit ostentatious! That would call as much attention to her as a miniskirt. and I think the attention in church is supposed to go to Some One Else. ;)

 

Michele

[Harriet Vane]

The bottom line for me is modesty and sinful attitudes.

 

As long as she is modest--everything is properly covered and the clothes are not skin-tight or s@xual in nature, she is fine.

 

I would also draw a line at blatant in-your-face disrespect or rudeness. If she wants to wear casual clothes because she wants to be comfortable or that is her preferred style/self-expression, okay. On the other hand, if she is dressing a particular way specifically to flaunt a rotten attitude, then the attitude needs to be dealt with lovingly as any other rudeness would.

 

But when it comes right down to it, a teenager is a young adult. This is an area that is very EASY in which to give that growing adult control. Save your fights for bigger things, like tongue-piercing.

[WTMCassandra]

I don't mind a variety of dress. I like to see them attempt to be respectful and as modest as they are capable of based on their wardrobe. I admit a personal peeve that I wish people would not wear flip-flops, though. Teen girls or otherwise. We go to a very conservative church, and the teens do a good job at dressing modestly, yet the flip-flops are ever present. Sigh. Could they not wear real shoes of some kind one day a week?

[Jugglin'5]

I cannot really vote very well on this, but I don't see "church" dressing as any other dressing. I think women should dress modestly anytime they are around other people. I don't go to church to meet God (He's everywhere)-- I go to fellowship with other believers and be encouraged in my walk. I don't dress "up" -- I just dress modestly. For what it's worth, I wear long skirts for the most part and don't wear low-cut or tight anywhere. It seems to me if we are to be light and salt, we would not allow any hypocrisy in our dress -- meaning, we wouldn't try to dress differently for God and other believers than we would for the world.

 

Well, I didn't say that I don't believe one should dress modestly everywhere. I just believe that there are different levels of formality and appropriate dress for different occasions. That doesn't make me hypocritical. Black tie and a formal gown are very dressy, but not appropriate for church, for example, nor are sweatpants.

[Jugglin'5]

I totally agree.:)

 

There was a girl in the youth group in one church we attended who always dressed to the nines. The youth called her "sparkles." I think being on the extreme end of the spectrum can be "distracting," either way.

[Nestof3]

Well, I didn't say that I don't believe one should dress modestly everywhere. I just believe that there are different levels of formality and appropriate dress for different occasions. That doesn't make me hypocritical. Black tie and a formal gown are very dressy, but not appropriate for church, for example, nor are sweatpants.

 

I think you misunderstood me. What I was saying was I know many families who want their daughters (or the moms themselves are like this) to dress modestly for "church," but during the week dress very immodestly.

 

I was not denying the fact that there are times to dress more formally and informally.

 

For what it's worth, though, I do not see meeting together with other believers to be exhorted in our walks as necessitating "dressing up." Meaning, I've never understood the fact that my mother-in-law has a fit when someone wears pants to "church," but as soon as she comes home from church, she changes into pants. We just have different ideas about what church is. I believe we ARE the church -- we don't go to church.

[Guest]

I voted other. I wanted to go with where whatever as long as they're at church, but at the same time, I would choose that assuming that the family dress code is conservative.

 

I would take my cue from the other youth at the church. It sounds like there's a mix at your current church, so I do not think that there is anything wrong with going more casual.

 

My kids are young, but our church is pretty laid back when it comes to dress code and I won't have a problem with my kids dressing the same. My daughter isn't going to walk around with her *books* hanging out, though, either - at home or at church. :)

 

It's hard enough being a teenager without feeling like you "stand" out in a situation where you may not necessarily need to stand out. Ultimately, it should be a decision between you and dh, I think. :)