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Summer Outdoor Wedding Rant...JAWM


Ewe Mama
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Dear young relatives who planned an outdoor wedding held today in a lovely park,

 

We know you could not control the fact that it was an 87 degree day and that there were no clouds in the sky. But why, oh, why did you set up the chairs and have the ceremony in the only area of the venue with no shade? And have the wedding at two o'clock in the afternoon, which is when the sun's rays are at their peak strength? Did you not consider your elderly relatives sweltering in the sun, or the many people who are prone to sun burn, or the relatives (and perhaps friends) who are receiving chemo, radiation, or take other medications that limit or prohibit sun exposure? Have you never considered the dangers of direct sun exposure, with no shade or water provided for yourselves, your wedding party, or your guests who need to protect themselves?

 

I am sorry very few of your guests sat in the chairs you provided. I am sorry if your feelings were hurt because many people opted to stand in the shade, some distance away from your ceremony. I am sorry your wedding resembled a football game with spectators standing along the sidelines. But, if you had listened to the advice that was provided to you by several well-intentioned friends who had already hosted their own outdoor ceremonies, you could have learned from them and everyone could have enjoyed your ceremony more fully.

 

We do love you and we wish all the best for you both.

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I will happily agree with you.

 

I still remember a wedding in a lovely garden.  It was so beautiful. Except none of the guests could see it because the sun at 10 am was right in our eyes.  I was amazed that the person in charge of the venue didn't warn the couple not to have a morning wedding in that spot.   The bride, groom, and officiant pivoted to the side for the vows because it was so bright in their eyes too; of course the guests couldn't. 

 

Honestly?  More and more I see that brides and grooms care nothing about their guests but only how pleasing the wedding and reception are for themselves and how the photos will look.  Of course that is not universal.  

 

Thanks for the opportunity to join your rant. 

 

 

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I went to a wedding like that years ago.  I went alone because it was 2 1/2 hours away and kids weren't invited.  I was 7 months pregnant, and the ceremony ended up being two hours late. It was at a small urban park.  Most of us stood in the shade of a building until right when the bride finally came down the aisle.

 

Thankfully fourteen years and four kids later, they have a lovely family together!  But that was a memorable wedding because of the outdoor setting and how long we waited.

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I went to a wedding like that years ago. I went alone because it was 2 1/2 hours away and kids weren't invited. I was 7 months pregnant, and the ceremony ended up being two hours late. It was at a small urban park. Most of us stood in the shade of a building until right when the bride finally came down the aisle.

 

Thankfully fourteen years and four kids later, they have a lovely family together! But that was a memorable wedding because of the outdoor setting and how long we waited.

I would not have gone and stated why. There's no way I could have done it in any trimester. I'd have been puking on the bride as she came down the aisle. I wouldn't expect them to change their wedding to suit me, but I wouldn't have gone.

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I went to an outdoor wedding on a day it was 90+.  A cousin and I were a 8 months pregnant.  It was absolutely miserable.  Honestly, the only thing I can remember from the wedding is how hot and sweaty I was, not how the couple looked our how their vows sounded or how happy I was for them.  

 

It was wretched

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That's too bad! Neither the couple nor the guests could enjoy the happy occasion.

 

An elderly relative fainted during an outdoor Easter egg hunt one year. DH was there to catch her, but she could have easily broken a bone from the fall. Full sun in warm weather can quickly become dangerous.

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Wouldn't it be nice if the weather could just fall in line and be perfect for every wedding? Why did there have to be freezing rain at mine? Why did my uncle's get pretty much cancelled because of a freak snow storm in September (though, to avoid snow on the Canadian prairies you're sometimes limited to the months of July and August).  :lol:  

 

Note: These weren't even outdoor weddings - I'm simply referring to weather for driving conditions. I think outdoor weddings are a gamble at the best of times, and should be limited to movies where you can do several takes to get them right (and the 'guests' are paid to be there!).

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Wouldn't it be nice if the weather could just fall in line and be perfect for every wedding? Why did there have to be freezing rain at mine? Why did my uncle's get pretty much cancelled because of a freak snow storm in September (though, to avoid snow on the Canadian prairies you're sometimes limited to the months of July and August). :lol:

 

Note: These weren't even outdoor weddings - I'm simply referring to weather for driving conditions. I think outdoor wedding are a gamble at the best of times, and should be limited to movies where you can do several takes to get them right.

This is not about weather, it is about poor planning and not thinking.

 

We went an outdoor wedding once where the guests were to sit on hay bales. I am allergic to alfalfa, LOL. Nevertheless, I persisted.

 

However, as we walked (hiked) up the looong hill to the venue it became apparent that the bales were on a slant with the long downhill to the guests' backs, although the bride and groom were on the flat.

 

There were old ladies being braced all over the place.

 

It was memorable...if somewhat itchy...

 

Georgia

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This is not about weather, it is about poor planning and not thinking.

 

 

 

Maybe, but aren't the happy couple looking for a perfect wedding just like on TV or in the movies where there is no weather, bugs, heat stroke or hay fever? If the couple actually spent much time at outdoor events, they'd already know what to expect.

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I can't believe anyone would set up the seating in the hot sun without a tent.

 

I mean, it's July for crying out loud. Didn't it occur to them that it might be hot out there? And what if it had started to rain?

 

I would have been in the shade, too.

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I went to a wedding like that once...metal folding chairs set out in the direct sunlight four hours before the afternoon ceremony...in Central Texas...in August...I yelped rather loudly when I sat down in my sundress! Other people were making similar noises as they sat down, so I didn't feel too embarassed.

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Oh dear...even though I have to throw in that F87 around here are a mild, comfortable day.

First, I thought the young don't care and don't think about such things but then I read that they were forewarned. Now that's too bad that they did not heed the advice. Surely, they'll get over the initial "miffedness."

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Although is that 87 and dry or 87 and humid as hell?  It's always humid as hell here.

 

Don't know where Ewe Mama is, but in high humidity, it can feel like F100 as I have experienced in FL. I should stop whining about the heat here and feel sorry for you guys who live in humid climate zones.

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I'll play.

 

The girls next door (who live with their Dad) did not get invited to their mother's destination wedding because the flights would have been too expensive. Nice way to show your kids where they are in the pecking order.

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We had an outdoor wedding in a garden, and this was a huge concern!  We actually switched from my "ideal" ceremony spot, because I knew it would be in full sun at 6:00 pm, and that wasn't fair to anyone.  We went with a place that was partially shaded (full shade wasn't available).  It was 95 degrees the day of my wedding... sweltering!!!!  It's the only thing I would have changed.

 

As soon as we saw the forecast, my mom and I scouted the internet for inexpensive parasols (the paper kind) and bought enough to have some for every 2-3 guests in the sun.  Best $$$ we spent on wedding materials, even if it was last minute.  We also asked our caterer if they could serve water, and they had ice water for guests both before and after the ceremony.  

 

The last thing I wanted was any of our grandparents (or any guest, really) being rushed to the hospital for heat exhaustion!

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Ah yes. I know someone who planned her wedding for Grand Final weekend, so the out of state relatives had to pay hiked up prices for flights. She then wanted the family to pose under a bit wattle tree and didn't care that the aunt hosting sat out in solidarity with her daughter who'd just come out of hospital after a nasty asthma attack. Karma came around though, and the weather cooled off so the rest of her photos were taken with her wearing her husband's suit jacket over her shoulders. The shawl her sister bought along just in case would have looked better, but she wouldn't wear it. Not sure why. Her sister, brother and nephew ended up spending much of the afternoon standing outside in the cold, including hail, to make sure nephew didn't annoy anyone and get them into trouble.

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Another one--

 

My best friend's son just had an outdoor wedding. The weather was just perfect but my friend has told her other children that they aren't kicking in any money for anyone else who wants to get married outside because worrying about the weather was a HUGE stress.

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We had an outdoor wedding, but it was in a courtyard and we could have moved indoors if we'd needed to.

 

I will say I annoyed at least one guest at my wedding.  So maybe I am thoughtless too.  Our place allowed wine and champagne but no beer.  A beer-drinking friend was appalled that I would have my wedding at a place where he could not have beer.  No matter that we had plenty of good wine and champagne (and soft drinks) for all.

 

(Not like his wedding which had a cash bar - yes that was snarky of me.) 

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Wouldn't it be nice if the weather could just fall in line and be perfect for every wedding? Why did there have to be freezing rain at mine? Why did my uncle's get pretty much cancelled because of a freak snow storm in September (though, to avoid snow on the Canadian prairies you're sometimes limited to the months of July and August).  :lol:  

 

Note: These weren't even outdoor weddings - I'm simply referring to weather for driving conditions. I think outdoor weddings are a gamble at the best of times, and should be limited to movies where you can do several takes to get them right (and the 'guests' are paid to be there!).

 

My cousin's wedding was the day of a nasty blizzard and we missed out.  She did get some AMAZING photos though!  

 

Have you seen this?

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/incredible-wildfire-wedding-photos

 

When life gives you lemons, get some epic wedding shots!

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I'll play.

 

The girls next door (who live with their Dad) did not get invited to their mother's destination wedding because the flights would have been too expensive. Nice way to show your kids where they are in the pecking order.

How terribly sad. :(

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How sad that the bride could not think of the comfort of her guests!

 

Another weather related wedding ... The night before my brother's friend's wedding, we had torrential rains - so bad that the very ritzy reception hall was flooded and the church parking lot was under water.  The groom called all his friends and they worked to find another place to have the reception, a caterer that wasn't flooded that could put some food together (to replace a prime rib dinner) and figure out parking for the ceremony.  The groomsmen and bride's family called all of the guests to explain the alternate parking and reception info.  They ferried guests to the church from the alternate parking location.  The bride was informed about the changes after the ceremony.  She was so touched that her husband and friends pulled all of this and spared her of the stress.  It was really sweet to see the community pull together to make this happen. 

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Our wedding was indoors, but the temperature dropped to -20F and everyone's car doors froze shut.  We left for the tropics on our honeymoon right after (in a cab) and everyone else was stuck in town when the 3-day blizzard rolled in and the airport closed.   I'm told they had one big 3-day house party at our house with all the out-of-town guests bunking on every available bit of floor, eating all the reception leftovers.

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Well to be fair 87 is hot either way, but humidity can be awful if it's 70F.

 

The weather is pretty much never nice where i live. :glare:

And 87 air temp would be much hotter in direct sunlight than in the shade.

 

We had to go to an outdoor daytime wedding in August in Georgia. It was hellish and next to some swampy area filled with mosquitoes.

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How sad that the bride could not think of the comfort of her guests!

 

Another weather related wedding ... The night before my brother's friend's wedding, we had torrential rains - so bad that the very ritzy reception hall was flooded and the church parking lot was under water.  The groom called all his friends and they worked to find another place to have the reception, a caterer that wasn't flooded that could put some food together (to replace a prime rib dinner) and figure out parking for the ceremony.  The groomsmen and bride's family called all of the guests to explain the alternate parking and reception info.  They ferried guests to the church from the alternate parking location.  The bride was informed about the changes after the ceremony.  She was so touched that her husband and friends pulled all of this and spared her of the stress.  It was really sweet to see the community pull together to make this happen. 

 

Aww.

 

I could totally see this happening. This years was my BIL's first wedding anniversary. On the date of their anniversary they sent us a link to an article about their wedding location, completely submerged on the same date a year later.

 

As for the OP, I completely agree. I wonder if she'll realize as the years pass that she behaved like an *ss.

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UGH! I went to a beach wedding last week.  In FLORIDA! In JULY! It was at sunset and it was beyond hot.  The groom's mom did end up leaving by ambulance because it was so hot she became dehydrated.  Even the dinner was outside.  We were all drenched with sweat.  Not pretty.  

I love the idea of a beach wedding, but not in July.

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We did that for our wedding in July and full sun. Oops, I certainly felt foolish once we were in the middle of it and realized the obvious error. But we did the whole thing ourselves and just didn't think about that factor. Luckily we had a pretty hardy audience. :)

 

I would have made accommodations if I had realized it soon enough. Poor officient, the only person in a full suit was looking baked by the end.

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How sad that the bride could not think of the comfort of her guests!

 

Another weather related wedding ... The night before my brother's friend's wedding, we had torrential rains - so bad that the very ritzy reception hall was flooded and the church parking lot was under water. The groom called all his friends and they worked to find another place to have the reception, a caterer that wasn't flooded that could put some food together (to replace a prime rib dinner) and figure out parking for the ceremony. The groomsmen and bride's family called all of the guests to explain the alternate parking and reception info. They ferried guests to the church from the alternate parking location. The bride was informed about the changes after the ceremony. She was so touched that her husband and friends pulled all of this and spared her of the stress. It was really sweet to see the community pull together to make this happen.

Oh my goodness. I'd have been a bawling mess. That's so good.

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I've only been to two outdoor weddings. One was on the property of the couple getting married and everyone was camped out on the land etc. She did have a tent and it was really nice. But, she had been instructing us all to pray, sacrifice, meditate or whatever for good weather. If it did rain then the tent was going to be really small.  Well, the day was perfect, like a postcard. Not too hot, not windy or humid or anything. It was a lovely day.  But, the next day was non-stop thunderstorms and there were reports of a tornado near by.  We all took it as a warning about asking too hard for good weather.

 

The second was my brother's wedding in Central Park. Again, it was fantastic, just beautiful.

 

But I am surprised that your friends or family ignored the warnings about hot sun. That was just foolish. When I was planning my wedding I always took those sorts of things seriously.

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We just got back from the reception which more than made up for the ceremony. All the kiddos were dancing their socks off. I never knew my little guys could get their groove on! They were a riot and all the bridesmaids loved them.

 

Thanks for commiserating with me. I was crabby from the heat and being sweaty.

 

They are a lovely couple and we hope they are truly blessed as they start their lives together.

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I had an outdoor wedding, but it was in May in the Caribbean in a courtyard just off the beach with shaded seating. TBH, I would not have thought about the weather, so I'm glad we went with the resort-provided location. They had everything worked out from experience.

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I went to a wedding like that years ago.  I went alone because it was 2 1/2 hours away and kids weren't invited.  I was 7 months pregnant, and the ceremony ended up being two hours late. It was at a small urban park.  Most of us stood in the shade of a building until right when the bride finally came down the aisle.

 

Thankfully fourteen years and four kids later, they have a lovely family together!  But that was a memorable wedding because of the outdoor setting and how long we waited.

 

Wow, I can't imagine waiting 2 hours for it to start!  I'll bet everyone was wondering what in the world was going on!

 

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I was the maid of honor at an outdoor beachside wedding.  Unfortunately, the bride and groom failed to check to find out if there WAS a beach in January or to think that things might be a bit brisk.  Well, the water was all the way up to the front of the hotel area so no beach to speak of and the weather was freezing cold, with high, icy winds coming off the ocean.  We were forced to start searching for another location and they ended up getting married in a restaurant.  We were all popsicles by the time we got indoors.

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The only other outdoor wedding. I went to was in the evening in September. That was beautiful!

 

The most memorable wedding I went to was for a friend from college. We had to sit in the church basement in the middle of the ceremony due to a tornado going through the area. That was scary! Everything turned out beautifully in the end, though. No damage or harm done.

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I went to a wedding like that once...metal folding chairs set out in the direct sunlight four hours before the afternoon ceremony...in Central Texas...in August...I yelped rather loudly when I sat down in my sundress! Other people were making similar noises as they sat down, so I didn't feel too embarassed.

 

If my buns get burned on a hot chair, I'm taking my wedding gift and going back home!

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How sad that the bride could not think of the comfort of her guests!

 

Another weather related wedding ... The night before my brother's friend's wedding, we had torrential rains - so bad that the very ritzy reception hall was flooded and the church parking lot was under water. The groom called all his friends and they worked to find another place to have the reception, a caterer that wasn't flooded that could put some food together (to replace a prime rib dinner) and figure out parking for the ceremony. The groomsmen and bride's family called all of the guests to explain the alternate parking and reception info. They ferried guests to the church from the alternate parking location. The bride was informed about the changes after the ceremony. She was so touched that her husband and friends pulled all of this and spared her of the stress. It was really sweet to see the community pull together to make this happen.

 

That is incredibly sweet. That couple must have some very cherished memories of their extra special friends helping to give them their extra special day. Their wedding would have been beautiful if it hadn't flooded, but what love their friends and family showed by going the extra mile for that couple. I would have been sobbing happy tears for months!

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The last outdoor wedding I attended had a man in a kilt play bagpipes as everyone wandered up from the parking lot. :D This was pre-kilt mania days here, but I still appreciated his, um, musical ability. I have no memory of the weather.

Who needs to remember the weather when you have a kilt-clad man causing a kerfuffle with your senses? :D

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Good: My sister had a fabulous outdoor reception in October!!

 

Bad: I attended a wedding on a small yacht. Once the boat went out on the lake many people were actively seasick and several elderly guests fell. The boat turned back and docked but by that point no one wanted anything to eat or drink.

 

My only "suffering" that day was embarrassment...it was windy on the deck and my dress blew up. The guy behind me said "hey Marilyn!"

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Good: My sister had a fabulous outdoor reception in October!!

 

Bad: I attended a wedding on a small yacht. Once the boat went out on the lake many people were actively seasick and several elderly guests fell. The boat turned back and docked but by that point no one wanted anything to eat or drink.

 

My only "suffering" that day was embarrassment...it was windy on the deck and my dress blew up. The guy behind me said "hey Marilyn!"

 

I hope the bride didn't choose sea green dresses for her attendants. Sea green and I'm going to vomit right now green should never be mixed. That sounds awful!

 

I don't think you should be embarrassed about the dress incident. Being likened to Marilyn from behind would be a compliment!

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We went to a wedding on a beach once. It was beautiful except for the sand getting blown in our face. Luckily there weren't any very elderly guests in attendance, I can't imagine it being easy to walk on the beach when you can barely walk anyway

 

We went to a wedding on the beach of Lake Michigan. It was 50 degrees and windy. I brought a blanket to cover up. People were in fairly good spirits about it though.

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I'll play.

 

The girls next door (who live with their Dad) did not get invited to their mother's destination wedding because the flights would have been too expensive. Nice way to show your kids where they are in the pecking order.

My sister and I were not invited to my dad's wedding. Or their 1 year anniversary party, which apparently "everyone really enjoyed and a great time was had". We both have large families and are busy, so maybe they thought we wouldn't come anyway? Hmm. Glad you had fun. Sounds super...

They're happy and I'm glad for them, honestly. The whole engagement/wedding thing was awkward, though. :-)

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Had I gotten to that I wouldn't have even bothered to stand in the shade.  I would have simply gone home.  Anyone too self-absorbed and inconsiderate to think of their guests doesn't deserve my presence.

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