Experienced Folk -- When You were Starting out

[elmerRex]

When you were starting out homeschooling, how did you over complicate the process in the beginning?

Looking to learn from the mistakes of others.

[KrissiK]

Oh probably, but nothing comes to mind right now. But, you don't know any better and you're all excited and you have all this advice you don't have any context for.... It's kind of like the difference between how you parent your first born as opposed to your fifth child.

[AngelaNYC]

When dd started homeschooling in 2005, after more than 4 years of private/public school, I was eager to implement the schedule and curriculum I created over the previous weeks.  I had read it was best that she have a period of "deschooling", so I continued to "perfect" my schedules and lists.  Over the next month (still deschooling), I noticed that dd was doing a LOT of school-type work on her own.  She was printing out worksheets and asking me to quiz her on multiplication tables.  I let the deschooling continue until it turned into 100% unschooling.  Dd was requesting workbooks we saw at Barnes & Noble, teaching herself sign language, writing songs, learning how to cook and sew, really loving the homeschool group classes and activities, and learning so much, that I decided not to rock that boat. 

 

About 3 years later, she (and her little brother, who was also homeschooling by this time) wanted more structure.  The most effective thing I've ever done as a homeschooler was to include the kids in choosing what books and programs they want to use, what non-academic things they loved doing, and what places they'd like to go.  We went with a Charlotte Mason approach with lots of read-alouds, nature study, copywork, poetry, narrations, etc.  The months of deschooling (and the years of unschooling) gave me an incredible understanding of how my kids learn, their strengths, weaknesses, and interests. It actually made homeschooling with a curriculum a breeze.

 

I still make ds a huge part of our planning.  We currently still implement facets of unschooling and Charlotte Mason, but we're more eclectic and structured now.  I have also realized that my kids understand and retain a whole heck of a lot more in 60-90 minutes per day of formal academics than in 3-6 hours.  I stopped worrying what "the right way to homeschool" was - there is no right way, unless it's the way that works for you.  And that can change a hundred times - which is fine.   :)

[Ellie]

When you were starting out homeschooling, how did you over complicate the process in the beginning?

Looking to learn from the mistakes of others.

 

I didn't, but then I lived in an easy state (California), I was withdrawing my dd from a very structured Christian school, and my introduction to the concept of teaching my dc at home was John Holt and unschooling.

 

Dd came home from school two weeks before Easter vacation with her regular half sheet of arithmetic homework (she was just first grade). I had known something was wrong since Christmas but couldn't figure out what it was. She cried for 40 minutes over that half sheet of arithmetic, and I went right down to my weird homeschool neighbor, who gave me her back issues of John Holt's newsletter, Growing Without Schooling, and a copy of one of his books (I have forgotten which one). I devoured those, went to the library and checked out the rest, and spent many tedious hours talking with my friend. The Monday after Easter vacation, I took dd to school for the last time.

 

And I purposed to do NOTHING, because I was convinced that dd was burned out.

 

It was about 18 months later that I bought my first Official School Stuff.

 

So there was definitely nothing overcomplicated there, lol.

[Closeacademy]

I worried too much about what other people were doing.  Looking for help and support is great but everyone's child is unique in their own way.  What works for one family may not work for another.  Being comfortable in the fact that what I am doing is good as long as we are all trying our best.

 

Basically, not comparing yourself, your family and your child to others and trying to live up to their standards when your family's needs may be different.

[SkateLeft]

.

[Crimson Wife]

Don't get so caught up in YOUR idea of what homeschooling should be that you forget that HSing is supposed to be about the child. When I started in '06, I had all these visions of lapbooks, and timelines, and notebooks filled with pretty narrations/dictations/copywork, etc. Lots of hands-on crafty stuff and we weren't going to use any boring workbooks. Too bad my kids actually LIKE workbooks and consider lapbooking & other crafts "busywork".

[Butter]

I tried to do too much.  Everything looked so pretty and shiny and so I tried to do too much, way too much, that was completely unnecessary.

[Rebel Yell]

I got nearly all of my advice from people who saw the main purpose of homechooling as being covering up our daughters, finding evil in everything, tightly scheduled days, and other assorted non-school issues. As smart as I'm supposed to be, I didn;t see that none of that would help me form a long-range plan.

 

 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I didn't over-complicate at all. I think that's because I started homeschooling before the Grand Internet Curriculum Explosion and Overexposed Homeschool Opinions-Palooza that all of the new people have to wade through.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: If I were starting out as a brand new homeschooler in 2014 I'd go full-bore unschool and forget it. I admire the socks off of every parent who determines to crack the code and endure the TMI.

[ElizabethB]

I practiced on other people's children with phonics for 9 years before homeschooling and I tell people only half jokingly that I should have practiced on other people's children for math, too, LOL.

 

Tutoring is very similar to homeschooling. I had tutored higher level math, but not elementary math. It took me a while to figure out what worked well for elementary math and how to teach it. One of the most helpful resources was Liping Ma's "Knowing and Teaching Elementary Math."

 

If you read my how to teach a remedial student, how to teach a beginning student, and how and why not to teach sight words, you will gain a large percentage of the applicable information I have learned in my 20 years as a volunteer literacy tutor.

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/howtotutor.html

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/newstudents.html

 

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/sightwords.html

 

Also, some phonics programs are easier to use and more complete than others, the two that I have the least percentage of remedial students from are OPG and PP, then A Beka, it is good overall but has a few too many sight words. I like Webster's Speller the best, but it takes more prep and study to use well.

[PachiSusan]

i've never done anything else but home education, so I don't have anything to compare what I did to. However, I am MUCH more relaxed and confident that if I veer from the plans, we'll be okay. 

 

[Aspasia]

Well, I'm far from "experienced", but I've already relaxed A LOT. I severely over complicated things, and I think it was largely because we decided to homeschool when our oldest was just a baby, and maybe I had too much time to think about it before I actually had to do it.

 

I wanted to be sure dd had a positive experience with reading, so I bought a bunch of phonics games that I had to color, cut out and laminate myself. It ended up pretty much like Margaret's experience. We played only a few of the games, and the ones we played were only played once, because dd "got it". I wish I had just started with the most straightforward approach (something like OPGTR), and turned to games only if/when dd showed resistance or needed serious practice (which she never did, because I also learned along the way to follow her cues and take breaks when things got particularly challenging). I just wasted a ton of time and money on those darn games. In the end, OPGTR did the job, did it simply, and did it well.

 

I also overcomplicated things by planning with way too much detail. I know some people like detailed daily plans, but I find them far too confining. Of course, I only learned that AFTER spending weeks and weeks over-planning, over-scheduling, and over-spreadsheeting...only to complete ONE week of my brilliant plan and then toss it. This year, I'm pretty much just making book lists--no schedule, no strict plan. That works better for me, and it just happens to be much less complicated. :)

[mamamindy]

I also overcomplicated things by planning with way too much detail. I know some people like detailed daily plans, but I find them far too confining. Of course, I only learned that AFTER spending weeks and weeks over-planning, over-scheduling, and over-spreadsheeting...only to complete ONE week of my brilliant plan and then toss it. This year, I'm pretty much just making book lists--no schedule, no strict plan. That works better for me, and it just happens to be much less complicated. :)

Ahhh, kindred spirits!  I have a box of laminated things: games I spent hours on, cutesy schedules and chore charts, and all the notebooks I've put together full of schedule that I've labored on!  I've done this same thing with making an amazing (and did I mention DETAILED) routine, for real life to happen and we abandon it after less than a week.

 

I'm just so glad I'm not the only one who's done this!  :lol:

 

And, thank you for all the advice, you experienced homeschool moms!  I feel like I should know something be now….but there's just so much information to wade through, I feel like I get lost in it...

[amyco]

I tried to do too much too, especially with history.  I started homeschooling dd in second grade and I wanted her to be in the "correct" year for Story of the World so I made her do two years of SOTW that year, and the entire First Language Lessons book so she could be "caught up."  Poor bunny.  Also, I wish I had kept my children in the same time period for history study.  They are only two years apart, but I was so married to the idea that ancients had to be in first grade, etc...that I made all of us a little crazy by covering two different time periods every year.  Mercy.

[PachiSusan]

Ahhh, kindred spirits!  I have a box of laminated things: games I spent hours on, cutesy schedules and chore charts, and all the notebooks I've put together full of schedule that I've labored on!  I've done this same thing with making an amazing (and did I mention DETAILED) routine, for real life to happen and we abandon it after less than a week.

 

I'm just so glad I'm not the only one who's done this!  :lol:

 

And, thank you for all the advice, you experienced homeschool moms!  I feel like I should know something be now….but there's just so much information to wade through, I feel like I get lost in it...

 

No, not the only one. You should have seen all that I planned for Melissa for Science and History this past year. If we only did what we planned, it would have almost been the entire school day.  :huh:

[idnib]

I took instructions too literally. When I read instructions in WWE that told me to repeat the dictation sentences three times, I did. And I expected it to work like that. Then I watched SWB showing dictation with her son and it was eye-opening. I realized the instructions were generic and it was my job to customize (and humanize) them. 

[Farrar]

I had taught in a tiny (30 kids) school and had a lot of experience customizing education and knowing where to put my energy in that.  Homeschooling is different, but I do feel that helped me not overcomplicate things out of fear or ignorance.

 

I did have systems of organizing our days that have fallen by the wayside, but they weren't overcomplicated.  I continue to institute systems and then let them become the victims of encroaching chaos.  And then I eventually make a new system, which also falls.  It's a cycle.  I see it as a pretty natural way of doing things.

[crazyforlatin]

I started as a Type A homeschooler. Now, rather than putting energy lining up books and having a written schedule for the year, I focus on what DD needs at the moment, what we can do to accomplish yearly goals (and those are not even written down) with a mind towards preparing for HS. Kids, or my kid actually, is not consistently growing, sometimes having spurts or sometimes needing more work in one area. Knowing her strengths I can adjust during seasons, maybe intense grammar work during the summer with much less grammar the rest of the year. I've concluded that relax homeschooling fits better for us, especially given our focus for the next several years.

[ForeverFamily]

I am far from experienced ;) , but these are the things I wish I would have done differently.  I really wish I would have known about and had read The Well Trained Mind before starting our homeschool journey.  To go along with that I wish I would have figured out what philosophy of education fit the goals and needs of my family from the get go.  It would have saved me a lot of time and money ;) .   I wish I would have felt more comfortable to relax and enjoy the pre-K and K years with my oldest Dd.  I wish I would have spent more time doing and not as much time researching and planning.  I am still trying to work on this.  I still tend to overcomplicate things by attempting to plan for all K-12 years  :rolleyes:.  I need to learn to relax and take one year at a time and worry more about meeting goals and less about what particular math I predict we are going to use in 9th grade :lol: .  Good Luck on your homeschool journey, homeschooling is the best decision we have ever made for our family! :)

[lewelma]

I allowed the needs of my older dictate how I would teach my younger.  We started out as unschoolers but by age 7 it became clear that my older needed more structure.  At that time my younger was 4, so he just went along for the ride and moved right into structured work.  I should have allowed him and his desires to dictate how I educated him.  I've learned. :001_smile:

[PachiSusan]

 I wish I would have felt more comfortable to relax and enjoy the pre-K and K years with my oldest Dd.  I wish I would have spent more time doing and not as much time researching and planning.  I am still trying to work on this.  I still tend to overcomplicate things by attempting to plan for all K-12 years  :rolleyes:.  I need to learn to relax and take one year at a time and worry more about meeting goals and less about what particular math I predict we are going to use in 9th grade :lol: .  Good Luck on your homeschool journey, homeschooling is the best decision we have ever made for our family! :)

 

 

I totally agree with this. I lament the time we spent on workbooks and learning when she was Pre-K and K...probably even until 2nd grade.  We missed out on so much fun making sure we were academic and ahead of grade. I would slow WAAAAAY down and just play and experience.

[sewingmama]

I tried to do too much with a child who was not mature enough to start learning. I should have waited a year instead of freaking out that my 5 yo might fall behind if I didn't start her reading and writing right then. I had no clue about how important readiness and maturity were in the schooling process. I should have just left her alone to play for another year or two...

 

I mistook the fact that she could do it for she should do it. Meaning ...she was academically able but totally not emotionally or physically ready. I thought that because she was bright she was ready for formal schooling....she so wasn't ...and that has done a lot of damage to her positive feelings for school and learning.

[Indian summer]

We deschooled and unschooled in the beginning, so it wasn't complicated. I did a lot of strewing and observing and chatting with the children and reading to them. I remember having this feeling that someone was going to catch us unschooling and call a truant officer. Lol! But I kept those thoughts from the kids and continued.

[Storygirl]

My oldest was an early reader, so I started her on kindergarten materials at age four.  The materials were fine and fun for her, and we did some shared classes with two other families twice a week (a little mini co-op). But about a year later, I realized that she was really struggling with math and had fairly weak writing skills. I regretted not waiting for kindergarten until she was five. So we ended up changing her grade level to match her abilities.  I always thought that early reading would translate into being ready for more advanced skills across the board, but it turned out not to be the case for her. In contrast, I redshirted all three of my other children, because I thought that would be best for them (two of them have had some significant learning challenges).

 

My second rookie mistake was trying to do too much, especially because I had three other little ones.  I read the WTM and thought we should be doing all of it right off the bat. I wish I had spent more of those early years just playing with all of the kids together.  

[Aspasia]

Ahhh, kindred spirits! I have a box of laminated things: games I spent hours on, cutesy schedules and chore charts, and all the notebooks I've put together full of schedule that I've labored on! I've done this same thing with making an amazing (and did I mention DETAILED) routine, for real life to happen and we abandon it after less than a week.

 

I'm just so glad I'm not the only one who's done this! :lol:

 

And, thank you for all the advice, you experienced homeschool moms! I feel like I should know something be now….but there's just so much information to wade through, I feel like I get lost in it...

Um, yeah. I actually took the time to read Managers of Their Homes and make the entire schedule. I don't think we executed that schedule for even one day. Story of my life.

[Elisabet1]

Somewhat. I was very nervous and kept feeling like I had to imitate the public school. I actually went in and looked over the public school textbooks. I also felt like I had to justify myself to anyone who wanted me to justify myself and so on. Now everything is different and the last thing I would want is to be like the public school.

[KarenNC]

I ran myself ragged trying to get to every single educational opportunity I could find in a 20 mile radius, in fear that I might miss some vital experience that would ruin her for life. My daughter was 5. :001_rolleyes:  Part of it was that she is an only child and the dreaded "socialization" argument kept raising its head. My husband finally told me she didn't have to have every educational experience before she was 6, so it was okay if we didn't make the 3rd historic site homeschool day/library class/etc  that week!

[Lieutenant Stranger]

Yeah.....just a little (cough cough, a lot). 

 

I tried to plan every single stupid little minute of homeschooling in a binder. And then, of course, something would go wrong and then we'd get behind in subjects, and the week on the binder would not match the real week and then I'd have a meltdown.

 

I don't do that anymore. Nothing is scheduled. We have a set number of pages to do each day per subject and that works so much better for me. 

 

I went from this:

 

 

To this:

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I am not that experienced.  But, here's what I've learned so far-

 

- I spent my first year trying to buy and do EVERYTHING.

- I spent my second year focusing on reading, math, writing, and read-alouds of all sorts, and had a lot more fun and a lot more time to LEARN how to homeschool.  :-) 

 

Spend a year just doing the 3Rs while you figure out what sort of philosophy/teaching style you have, then start judiciously buying anything you need.

[mumto2]

I had a really hard time implementing anything where I didn't have every single book available.  That made pretty much everything hard.  Five in a Row stresssed me beyond description.  Long lists for choice like SOTW were hugely stressful because frequently my library didn't have a single one and substituting something similar was horrifying.  That is what drove me to SL.  After a year I had some sense of perspective and was able to use some of the other stuff I had purchased along the way!

[Kareni]

When you were starting out homeschooling, how did you over complicate the process in the beginning?

Looking to learn from the mistakes of others.

 

Well, my daughter started homeschooling in 7th grade, and I had her schedule filled out in fifteen minute increments.  I also had a tendency to over assign work.  I gave her so much Spanish work to do in 8th grade that I fear she hates the subject to this day. 

 

We did relax a bit as time went by while keeping our standards high.  She's now a college graduate who majored in Latin and minored in Geology (while totally steering away from Spanish!)

 

Regards,

Kareni

[audreyinboston]

My kids started as Pre-K, so I spent WAAAAAY too much time copying, laminating, cutting, etc. all those cute little games and what-not...  Then I thought I wanted to do Montessori-style stuff and tried to buy and create all this stuff that my kids did exactly ONE time and then refused to reuse it as it was "supposed" to be used...  You would think I would learn from my past patterns but (ahem), I still get way too excited about the latest, greatest thing I'm going to do.  This past year I spent too much time trying to create this immersive environment for our ultra-cool American History Adventure.  I should have solicited help and ideas from my kids instead of trying to do it all myself (oh, it's the KIDS who are supposed to be doing the work?) 

 

I really wanted my kids to make nifty notebooks of all the things they were learning, but they really hate that kind of stuff.  I was killing myself to come up with lapbook, cutout things for them to do, and they were like, "Enough, Mom!" 

 

I, too, can get caught up in making the "Master Educational Plan" for K-12 and then end up buying curriculum and books too far in advance.  When plans change (which they ALWAYS do), I'm left with curriculum that I no longer want.  NOT GOOD!  It's okay to keep the big picture in mind, but I don't need to implement the entire plan at once, just the current year.

[Carrie12345]

Everything I love about what we do comes from everything I learned the hard way. :D

 

I really can't think of any serious "Don't do this, make sure to do that" tips.  Our kids and families are so unique, there's no way to predict what will be a disaster in one house or the exciting path in another.  I guess my advice is simply to be prepared to adapt.

[AmyontheFarm]

I wanted to unschool but my kids came out of the school system and it frustrated them.  Now, I have next years schedule all typed out in Excel by the day for my dd and she is estatic!  She is a list maker and just loves have the comfort of knowing that she can get through her list and go off and read or rainbow loom to her hearts content.  My son would rather be outside with his Dad, driving a tractor.

[*****]

I  over-complicated things by being influenced by the overabundance of materials these days (once I had internet, I was always searching for 'the best' that was out there).  I kept trying different curriculum for math, language arts...only to receive advice later that it was best to be consistent in a subject (for instance, if you start with a math curriculum, stick with it for several years). Otherwise by switching materials, your child may skip concepts because they are taught at different times in different curriculum. 

[Desert Strawberry]

I started much too early and worked too hard. My oldest especially is a slow learner and a slow thinker. He needed lots and lots of time. Even though we were pretty laid back comparatively speaking, I worried too much and stressed myself and my child.

 

I move much more slowly now and allow my children to lead and give them time to just be little.

[Critterfixer]

Well, I've only been at this for five years, so that's probably not experienced, but such as it is...

Yes, I made things harder than they should have been for me. Probably not for the boys. But I distressed myself a great deal by making a big deal over things that just took time to grow. I was a lot like a kid who spends all day waiting for the seed to sprout, and then digs it up to see why it isn't growing!

But I think that is simply part of the process I had to go through. I'm more relaxed now, but I wouldn't be, had I not found out what I could let go of by trial and evaluation. 

[Pink and Green Mom]

I took instructions too literally. When I read instructions in WWE that told me to repeat the dictation sentences three times, I did. And I expected it to work like that. Then I watched SWB showing dictation with her son and it was eye-opening. I realized the instructions were generic and it was my job to customize (and humanize) them. 

 

Same here.  I felt so bad at how I was pushing my son with some of those complicated dictations. I let him watch the video and promised to do it like that from that moment on.  Things went much more smoothly after that for both of us.