Preparing mentally for unmedicated birth when you already KNOW what's coming (possible TMI)

[abba12]

Hoping some of you ladies can help me out here. I'm siting, hoping the tugs I am feeling are the starts of labor with my third baby. The only problem is, I'm terrified of laboring again.

 

My labors are hard, fast and intense. I knew I wanted to go unmedicated with my first but at this point I actually have no choice. My first was an induction at 37 weeks which went from 4cm to birth in 6 hours. My second was natural and went from 4cm to birth in 2.5 hours. Both times I used the gas, with a lot of success actually, but nothing else. I asked for more with my first but was told I was too far at that point, there was no time. I see these videos of quiet women walking between contractions, moving into different positions... Yeah, that's not me. The whole hospital knows I'm in labor and once it sets in hard I don't move or talk, like at all. I'm basically detached. I seem to go from 4cm to transition very fast and don't have time to build up those hormones to help cope.

 

I'm so scared of labor again. I've been there twice, I know what's coming. I was siting on the toilet half an hour ago and when I pushed a certain way the pressure from bub made it feel exactly like the worst part of pushing for me (that bit where it feels like you can't stretch any further but you know you have to push harder and baby is almost there, but to do it you almost have to accept the pain and make it happen, if you know what I mean. Anyone else go though that?) I got really upset and sick in my stomach when I felt it.

 

So help me out here ladies, give me your best coping strategies and pep talks. Strictly no horror stories today please. I know my nerves are holding baby back already

[Melissa in Australia]

:grouphug: :grouphug:

 

 After my first baby I refused to push for the next three. Surprisingly they were still born :laugh:  as the next three were all induced they were pretty intense, with no4 especially I screamed A. LOT.

 

with my 5th I drank lots of raspberry leaf tea in the last couple of weeks. I don't know f it was because of the raspberry leaf tea or what, but I felt hardly any pain at all. I went into hospital as soon as I had regular contractions because it is a hour drive to the hospital. I remember hopping up on the bed and telling the nurse that I was going to be hours yet as I was not in any pain, she had a look and said that she could see the head and the baby was almost there. I had to push for him as they had to cut the cord before he was born but it hardly hurt at all.

 

I hope your labour is like my last, relatively painless... give Raspberry Leaf Tea a go.. maybe it was what did it.

 

[kroe1]

Yep, do not push when the nurses tell you to. Wait until your body forces you to. That eliminates a ton of pain and exhaustion. Explain to the nurses that your imaginary friends here online know best. LOL. Seriously, there have been several studies showing delayed pushing increases patient satisfaction with labor, decreases pain, and less trauma to the perineum. Nurses only tell you to push to decrease your time in the labor room. Forced pushing can decrease labor room time by 30 minutes if no injury to the perineum. Unfortunately, there is usually injury so no time savings.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

You can do it, because you must do it. 

 

I am also a fast, intense laborer.  I'm pregnant with number 4 now. 

 

I am a yeller, and boy, making noise can REALLY help.  Allow yourself to feel like you've gone completely wild and crazy, allow the experience to be bigger than you, bigger than anything you can control. 

 

Yes, that awful point of no return, when the baby MUST come out, but oh boy, you'd just rather NOT...  I always remind myself that this sensation means it. is. almost. done.  It will not get worse unless you try to stop it from happening.  If you do resist, that overstretched feeling will just last longer, so just do it.  YKWIM?

 

Best of luck to you!!!  Let yourself be as loud as you need to be, remember a loose throat equals a loose....  well, you know.  :-) 

 

And remember that amazing prize at the end!

 

 

[abba12]

Regarding pushing, australia is pretty natural friendly, I've always pushed of my own accord, sometimes without telling them lol! Usually by that point I have those endless contractions which peak two or three times so I can't get a word out :)

[busymama7]

I feel for you. I am 28 weeks with my tenth and my last six have been natural at home.(I had epidurala for the first 3) The amnesia you get to forget labor wears off when you've done it so many times. :(

 

No one says laboring quietly is the best way. Really don't feel bad about getting through the contractions any way you can. It DOES help though to keep your jaw and mouth loose and to use low tones, not high. So ask your husband to remind you and help you keep all vocolizations low in tone. If he does it you will match him.

 

I don't want to do labor again either but I'm jealous you will be holding your sweet baby soon!

[Okra]

It's going to be okay.  You are going to make it through this!  

 

 

[abba12]

Going to try and get some rest, still have some mild steady tightenings.

 

I'm so ready for this baby to just be here, that almost makes me not care about labour anymore lol! Thanks for the tip about the low vocalizations busymama, I think I'm usually fairly low but it's worth mentioning to hubby

 

It'll all be worth it when I am holding her, but I do hate this part so much... 

[ashfern]

I went unmedicated for 4 of mine, with #4 & 5 needing pitocin. Just remember that the pain only lasts a little bit. My DH is a great coach and helped me through. Do you have a coach to help?

[umsami]

My second was a precitipitous birth….less than three hours from start to finish.  It was also back labor and very very intense.  To be honest, it scared me a little, so when I had the chance to induce DD (and get an epidural), I did.

 

I got myself back into a "I can do this" type mentality by doing some of the hypnobirthing type CDs.  It really did help.  #4 was also precipitous…only this time it was less than an hour.  I knew something was up, so I had my Dad drive me in when I felt my first pains in my back.  When the nurse saw me at the desk, she said, I thought you had at least 5-6 hours.  This time I didn't even have to argue with them about not putting in an IV because there was no time.

 

I really highly recommend the visualization/hypnobirthing stuff.  It helped a lot.  I had the "real" CDs, but I think I actually used something I found on iTunes more.

[AnIslandGirl]

I highly recommend hypnobirth as well! Pain free (I still felt pressure) childbirth and a euphoric feeling through labor.

[Desert Strawberry]

My last three were 4 hours start to finish. The last hour is almost unbearably intense. I wouldn't call it painful, but it's not pleasant. 

I tell myself that I can endure anything for an hour. It's the finish line. You can't quit at the end.

Pushing hurts less with each one. My providers put gentle pressure on the baby's head. That helps a lot. 

One of the signs of transition is feelings of doubt. When you start feeling like you can't do it, it's almost over.

You are going to be fine. Picture your body opening up like a flower, releasing your baby. Focus on her movement, not on your pain. Breathe deeply, and relax your body. Low, grungy noises will move the baby.

You are going to be great.

[barnwife]

I've had three unmedicated homebirths. They have all been wonderful experiences, in spite of the pain/work of labor. I have back labor, which to put it nicely is horrendous. They only way I make it through is with counterpressure. 

The pushing stage has gotten shorter with each of my labors. 

My only advice has already been given...push when your body tells you to. I love, love, love the pushing stage. As long as I push during each contraction, I can't feel it. 

I wish you a speedy (although not as speedy as my last labor...from first pushing contraction to holding baby was about 5 minutes and the midwife didn't arrive in time), healthy labor and delivery!

[ktgrok]

Going to try and get some rest, still have some mild steady tightenings.

 

I'm so ready for this baby to just be here, that almost makes me not care about labour anymore lol! Thanks for the tip about the low vocalizations busymama, I think I'm usually fairly low but it's worth mentioning to hubby

 

It'll all be worth it when I am holding her, but I do hate this part so much... 

 

Yeah...remember, in the moment, you will want it over badly enough you will handle it. 

 

Oh, and that last bit? In one of my labors I bit my own arm. Hard. Had teeth marks for days. But ti REALLY helped. Bite something if you can....(not skin). Turns out there is a reason that people used to bite a stick, or a strap, or whatever. 

[skeeterbug]

I have those intense, fast labours also. With this last one I decided to try the not pushing thing. You know, breathe the baby out, let your body do it, etc. I've had all mine naturally so I knew what was coming. When I was actually in the midst of it I wanted. to be. done. And so I thought Forget that! (I might have used a different f-word there.) I want this baby out now! And I pushed him out as quickly as I could. I guess that's accepting the pain and making it happen, huh? :) Getting him out of me as quickly as possible was my motivation. After he was born I happily proclaimed over and over again how I never. had. to do that. again. (He's our last.) Knowing that I would never have to go through labour and birth again was honestly what gave me strength. Two hours from the time my water broke, only an hour and a half of contractions. I totally get what you're feeling as you anticipate labour.

 

The gas, btw, is not used in America that I know of. I was quite flabbergasted at the very idea of it when I moved to Australia. I'd only heard of using it at the dentist before then. ;) I had two babies here and two there.

 

You know you can do this, and of course you will. My two labour phrases: Just keep swimming, just keep swimming (imagine Dory swimming around by your bed). And: From little things, big things grow. (Sung, of course, like in the super commercials.) From these little, brief, moments of labour will come something big: a new life. From this little tiny baby, big things will come.

 

Good luck to you. I will be thinking of you in the coming days. Be sure to come back and tell us about your lovely labour and birth and beautiful baby.

[daniela_r]

So, are you not wanting an epidural, or just convinced that you won't be able to get one anyway?

 

My first two births had some similarities to yours.  First baby was also induced, then labor went so fast that there was no time for an epidural even though I wanted one.  Unfortunately, after going all the way through labor, there was significant fetal distress and I had an emergency C-section with general anesthesia.  (And, I will say that the pain I experienced in the hours after waking up from surgery was worse than transition pain!  I was in a country that doesn't do such great pain relief...)  Second baby was born exactly 3 hours after the very first contraction.  Of course, (long story why) the second was also a vacuum delivery, so the pushing stage might have taken a little longer without that.  Those two babies were also born in a country that uses the gas, and it was helpful, but not that helpful.

 

BUT, my third was a longer labor.  I had been 3 cm for weeks, then my first "real" (I always have lots of Braxton-Hicks in the last few months) contraction was at about 1 pm.  Obviously slower labor than the second.  Got to the hospital about 3 pm and still had time to get an epidural.  It was WONDERFUL.  Seriously, after the epidural I had NO pain all the way to 10 cm, by 7 pm.  I actually felt so comfortable that I fell asleep for a little while:)  The pushing stage took a full hour, and it was painful, but the epidural was still helpful.  I think the labor, and pushing, was slowed by the epidural, but I was happy to have some pain relief.  And, thanks to the C-section and vacuum delivery, it was the first time I had really been able to push, so it took me a while to "figure it out".

 

Anyway, all that to say, this labor might be different from your first two!!!

 

And, by the way, I'm 35 weeks with Child #4 and I'm not looking forward to labor again either… :)  Best wishes to you and your little one! 

 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I'm going to ask my doctor about this and you may want to ask yours -- if it's safe to bring/apply olive oil (or vitamin E or something) to the perineal area. So long as it doesn't hurt baby's eyes or anything it could make things more comfortable I would imagine.

 

I don't know if American docs will do it or not, but here olive oil is standard procedure, even in the hospital!  I have no idea if it really helps or not, but docs and midwives both do it.  If your doc agrees, just remember to bring a new, sealed bottle with you when you go into labor so that you know the oil is pure. 

 

Good luck to OP! 

 

 

[Joker]

My last dd was only a 1.5 hour labor. It was rough and fast. I remember it scared me because I had an epidural (never heard of gas) with my first and I was worried about having to do it drug free. The drug free birth was so much better than the epidural birth afterwards. It's worth it and you'll be okay. Since it was so fast, no one was telling me to push but I just told them my body was doing it whether or not they wanted me to. I do know that part was also better than the epidural because it seemed like they had me do a lot of pushing that I didn't feel or want to.

 

Congratulations and good luck!!

[rocassie]

I too am fast and furious in birth.  I am quiet (more low moans, no screaming) and retreat into myself.  I take a hot bath when labor begins mostly because it was the middle of the night and everyone was still sleeping:).  Water, in general helps me relax.  I take deep breaths as I slowly count to 10 and then release as I slowly count to 10, over and over all through labor.  It gives me something to focus on and the deep breathing relaxes me.  Also, I do not push until I feel the need to push regardless of what the nurses say.  I push in whatever position feels the most comfortable.  So far it has been kneeling on the bed with my torso upright.  

[Shellydon]

I tore badly with all of my births.  After an unmedicated 2nd birth then getting a local for stiches, I opted for an epidural  for the last 2.  You can get an epidural at anytime.  I waited until I was dilated to a 7 or 8, had the epidural, then baby was born within 30 minutes. 

[NoseInABook]

Hot bath, hot bath, hot bath... and more hot bath. ;) Also pushing in any position that is NOT flat on your back. I really liked hands and knees with my last bio baby.

[Reefgazer]

Your doctor has the capability to order the epidural at any time, so talk with him.

[LostSurprise]

I have fast, intense labors as well. It's either non-productive BH type contractions...or transition. There isn't really an in-between for me. I haven't used pain medication, even when they used pitocin to induce me. I usually don't have time!

 

To me...fear creates a sense of panic which makes things much worse. My first birth, when I had no idea what to expect, was by far my worst birth. I couldn't breathe. My husband didn't know what to do. The nursing staff wasn't encouraging. It was a terrifying experience. The others were much better. 

 

Things that help: 

 

Anything that brings a sense of calm helps. 

*special MP3 list of calming music

*warm herbal tea

*cozy blankets

*being held/not being held, quiet walks, rocking, guilty-pleasure movies, all your favorites

 

Other things that help: 

*have someone to run interference, support your needs, get you what you need while you're laboring. This could be your husband or your sister or your mother or a doula. Knowing you don't have to think about anything else is a necessity. 

*knowing what's going to happen can help. Not theoretically. Not what bad things could happen. Just the summary of this happens to me, then I feel this, then I could do this, then this happens, I could do this next, then voila...a baby. This is not true for everyone, but for me, knowing the normal chain of events intimately can help you figure out other things to do to help yourself. List them. On paper if that's helpful to you. When the time comes pull it out and try them. Everyone is different so don't hold onto things that don't work, even if they work for others. 

*put away the thought of it. Once you've figured this out, once you have it visualized positively, you can put it away. Don't worry about it. 

*don't lie on your back while laboring. This is the worst and in the US they always put you in this position for labor and delivery because it's the easiest for them. At the very least sit the bed up (it can be semi-recumbent if that's comfortable, you control it), bring your knees up or out, you can grip them while you labor. This is much easier on your lower back and they can still do checks and a delivery in this position. This is not the only position available but it will work even with conservative doctors (usually).

*Sometimes water (batheing, a shower) can help the labor. Usually my labor was too intense to get to a bathroom,  but this does help some people. Back rubs. Having someone read aloud or sing to you. Certain scents. Breathing exercises. (Make sure your doula/husband/help knows how to do this because frankly you are so hyper-focused when you are giving birth that it can be hard to remember things.)

 

Those things work for me. I have to admit, the last birth was the best. I'm not saying it's fun. Walking out of the bathroom with the gown on is like looking down from the highest point of the fastest, scariest roller coaster on Earth. As you get older though, you do realize that there are things you can adapt to or control. Contractions only last so long. You can make your focus even deeper. You don't think any further than the end of the next contraction. Just adapt to that moment and floating or pushing through it. When pushing comes, it's almost a relief because your body is on that final track speeding downhill and instead of waiting and getting through things. It can be a powerful feeling. 

 

And don't worry about the noise thing. Have you seen Olympic weightlifters on tv? They make a lot of noise! It's hard work and the noise both encourages and gives them an outlet to their exertion (and forces them to take big, necessary breaths which fuel the hard work). There is a difference between controlled vocalizataions/grunting/unghs! and panicked screaming or crying. If panic has been a part of your birth experiences in the past, consider seeing someone who can teach you relaxation techniques (breathing, visualizing, centering, self-hypnosis). See a professional if you do this! And then practice, practice, practice until self-calming is easy for you. The same pain feels worse when you panic. Fear intensifies it. If you learn to self-calm, it will change the way you experience the birth.

 

My 2 cents. I wish you the best.  

[texasmama]

(((hugs)))  Mama, you can do this.  I have fast births, too, and my last one was completely unmedicated, lasting under three hours from water breaking at home in bed to birth.  The intensity is difficult.  I understand that part very well because my births are so fast.  (I also had a no epidural birth with baby #3.)  What helped me was my doula.  If you do not have one, perhaps a caring friend or relative who is calm and soothing and able to support you during childbirth can be with you.  My dh is not helpful during birth, as he becomes a nervous Nellie.  However, I asked him to pray for me aloud and to hold my hand during my last birth, and that was comforting. Also, I chanted softly a Bible verse about not having fear.  If you are not religious, a short phrase that brings you strength and comfort would be good, something to focus on.  I will be thinking of you. 

[rjand6more]

My births are 2-3 hours and very very intense as well.  No talking between contractions, etc.  During my last pregnancy, I actually had panic attacks thinking about labor.

 

I asked for pain meds(and meant it!!)  Good thing my midwife knows me and told the nurse to get them(but take her time.lol)  I was pushing before she made it back.  I like to push and deliver on my side holding my husbsand' wrists at my head.  I agree that low grunting type of sounds help to push baby out.  Also, I push gently at EVERY contraction, even very early on.  It helps me from tensing up which hurts a lot more.  

 

I do not enjoy labor and delivery at all either.  People think I must because I have 6 kids. lol

 

Hoping this labor goes well for you.

[myfunnybunch]

All but one of my labors were between 3 and 5 hours, pretty fast and intense. When things got intense, I kept telling myself: Can't go over it. Can't go under it. Guess I'll have to go through it. (It's from a children's rhyme/hand play, We're Going on a Bear Hunt, in case it's not familiar to you.) It was a reminder that labor wasn't going to go away just because I'd rather do it tomorrow.

 

With my last, I had a photo frame with newborn pictures of his brothers and sister. It was a great focus item, because it reminded me what was waiting for me at the end.

 

Hugs, hope you're holding your sweet little one by the time you get to read this. :)

 

Cat

[Calm37]

I felt scared, too, for my second. And I will say that all you yellers weren't helping that situation one bit, lol.

 

OP, you will get through this just fine. It's hard, no doubt! Oh, but a baby!!!

 

[Guest]

I have only had unmedicated births at home, so I'm not sure how much I can help, but....

 

I don't like fast labours either. dd1 was 12, dd2 was 6 and completely out of control crazy, and ds1 was 10 and felt MUCH better because I had more time to deal with everything that was going on. The worst thing about that labour was wanting to punch xh's lights out for cracking jokes about wanting me to hurry up and have the baby so he wouldn't miss his ball game.

 

When I was pregnant with ds2, I emphatically did NOT want another 6 rush job culminating with the baby coming out so fast that I was afraid she would have smashed into the wall and broken her neck if the midwife hadn't been on the ball.

 

So I wound up with 4 hours.

 

It wasn't what I expected at all. No, I am not some birthing goddess and I remember the ring of fire this time and I also remember remembering some less pleasant moments from my earlier births that I had blocked out for 20 years but it wasn't crazy or out of control at all. I carried on a conversation with one of my teens during transition without the teen knowing I was in labour and at the time, I was thinking, "This feels like transition only a lot smaller".

 

ds1's birth felt like there was the same amount of pain as dd2's, just spread out over more time but ds2's did NOT feel like the same amount of pain squished into less time.

 

hth; youngest is six and the rest of them are adults so maybe I'll think of something else later....

 

And yea, me too about the noise thing. Go ahead. None of my neighbours even noticed or else they just thought it was sex noises and I'm on a small lot in a residential area.

[Meadowlark]

I can relate...5 babies and super hard, fast labors. In mean, from the moment labor started, it was 100% pain and NO breaks in contractions until birth. I get it.

 

I really feared the last few, but my DH says I maintained a fair amount of control. I'm not saying it's bad to be loud and screaming, but for me, that meant I wasn't breathing. They almost had to put a mask on me once. So, I calmed down, gripped the bedrail, closed my eyes and breathed...as calmly as I could knowing that it wouldn't last forever and every contraction meant that it would be over that much sooner. It really helped me to internalize the pain rather than putting it all out there if you know what I mean. The nurse even asked me later if it hurt "very much" because I didn't seem to be in a ton of pain. I about laughed in her face..thinking...lady you have NO idea how bad it hurt. But again, I would've gone nuts if I would've screamed. Good luck, it's all worth it :-)

[Ameena]

*HUGS* OP. You can do this.

 

 

I am another quick labor gal - once labor finally gets started that is. With DD, my water broke & nothing happened. Finally after 36 hours of trying everything natural we could think of to start labor, we headed to the hospital, another 4 hours later we were finally in a room & they started pit as I was only 1cm. From then to birth was 7 hours. Most of it was very mellow for me, except for back pain. I agree with what another poster said about letting your body push when it's ready, not when the nurse says to. With dd, they didn't realize I was complete until the nurse noticed I was getting what she called "spasm pushy" - aka pushing without having to think / try. From then to dd was about 3 minutes & 4 pushes.

 

If I had it to do over again, I would have:

 

Taken headphones / earplugs. Nothing against y'all gals that make a lot of noise in labor - but this was the main thing that bugged me during labor. I wanted quiet & calm. With quiet, I could find my inner place & just be mellow

Insisted on walking. It was hospital policy for you to stay in bed the entire time you labored regardless of pain meds. I had to fight just to sit up on the end of the bed, even though it felt much better than laying flat on my back.

Water birth or shower - with dd, it was like I craved the sensation of water flowing on / around me. I know that sounds totally odd, but I did. If / when I have another, I want a water birth {and possibly home birth}

 

[LMD]

Good luck Abba!!!  That bub is coming out whether you like it or not!  ;)

 

I remember very distinctly at the beginning of labour with my 3rd child that I just had to mentally surrender to the pain.  He arrived in under 3 hours too and it was a whirlwind.  However, #4 took twice as long, 10 times as painful, and I was homebirthing so no drugs at all (the only labour where I REALLY wanted them!), totally unexpected.  It really is a crap shoot.

 

Hold on girl, you'll be cuddling that squishy newborn soon and have a new war story to share.  :)

[Melissa in Australia]

Your doctor has the capability to order the epidural at any time, so talk with him.

 

depending on the size of the hospital and if she lives rural or city, epidural may not be an option. I know my local hospital does not to them. For a doctor to be able to keep their epidural qualifications they have to do a specific amount a month. not possible in most rural places in Australia where they might only have 30 or less babies born a year.

[boscopup]

Being in water was wonderful for mine. Is that an option where you'll be birthing? Even standing in the shower with water on your back might help.

 

And let your body do the work as best you can, though it's hard when they're coming 90mph. My biggest consolation was that when I thought I couldn't do it anymore, I knew it was almost over.

 

Good luck!!!

[indigomama]

3 of my 5 were unmedicated. Here are my tips:

 

Water: I loved laboring in water, it helped so much.

 

Loose lips: Keep your mouth loose and you will keep your cervix loose. I read this tip in an Ina May Gaskin book, and it was so helpful. The looser and more relaxed I stayed, as opposed to "fighting" labor, the easier it was. 

 

Visualization: I grew up at the ocean, when I labored in water, I listened to the water and imagined the waves, slowly coming in and out. I was so focused on that, I didn't tense up as much when the contractions came.

 

You can do this!

[elfgivas]

i've had four naturally.  

 

after the first one, each time as transition arrives, i have been heard to say, "i remember this part.  i hate this part."

 

what helped me was knowing that women have done this for thousands of years, and so i can, too.  

 

that and 

 

"this too shall pass".

[solascriptura]

Do not tense your body when the contraction hits. I know, easier said than done. Lol. Also, keep remembering that it will be over soon and you will then be able to hold your new baby.

[umsami]

Oh yes to water.  Where I gave birth, they did not have a tub, but I stood in the shower for-ev-er.  It was wonderful.

 

Also, for me, keeping the room darker helped.

 

Best thing though was having somebody push as hard as humanly possible on my sacrum. If they pushed when the contraction hit, it was like I felt nothing.

[skeeterbug]

Hoping she hasn't come back to this thread because she is busy with a newborn. :wub:

[Guest]

Fast births here, too, but my fourth baby was the longest labor! (He was a pre-term induction, so I'm sure that had a lot to do with it; he was not quite ready yet!) i used Hypnobirthing for my 3rd and 4th. I highly recommend, although I guess too late for you to use that now. I never thought I was in pain, even with Pitocin, which was re-amped a few times from stalling. It did get insane right there at the end, LOL! Not pain, just a freaking-out desperation. I also agree about not artificially pushing. My body pushed him out without my say-so!

 

Best of luck!

[Sara in AZ]

Good luck Abba! I've had four unmedicated births, and all were pretty quick and intense. I'd seriously rather go through my longest labor again than deal with the 30 minutes of kidney stone pain I had to deal with before I got a shot of Toredal, the best drug known to man I now believe! So there's that...just knowing it's going to be a short few hours (hopefully!) and you get a cute baby at the end would be encouraging to me.

 

When I was prepping for birth again, I would start practicing. I know it sounds goofy... But we did this in our Bradley class years ago... DH will pinch me, starting graduallly and building pressure until it really, truly hurts, and then gradually decrease pressure mimic the wave of a contraction. This really helped me to practice some of the pain management technics I use.

 

It's probably a little late now, but a fabulous book that gave me some good ideas about pain and labor and what to think when you are laboring is "Birthing from Within".

 

One idea that really helped me was to focus on the parts of my body that didn't hurt...my big toe, my tooth, etc. that's really about distraction, I guess.

 

Another idea was to explore the edges of the pain...feel it, acknowledge it, try and determine where it ends and non pain exists.

 

Another Bradley exercise...I'd lie in bed in my favorite side lying laboring position and kind of meditate on my muscles. Visualize each muscle and try to identify where I could relax just a little but more, always a little but more. DH always repeats that as a mantra during labor. "You can always relax a little bit more!"

 

One last thing that really helped me with my last birth was actually practicing and imagining what labor was going to go like. We were having a home birth and happened to have the tub set up for about a week ahead of time, so each night I would get in and soak for a little while. I'd turn on the music I was planning to listen to, rotate through a few positions in the tub and do my best to visualize how I expected labor to go. I think that was hugely helpful for me when the time actually came.

 

Good luck, and I hope you have a lovely labor!

[dirty ethel rackham]

Some excellent advice given already (at least what I skimmed so far.)  A couple of things to add:

 

Mind Over Labor by Carl Jones.  Doing the exercises and visualizations in this book really helped me through a my difficult labors.  It helped me go into labor much more relaxed.  It also helped me find a place of acceptance so I wasn't fighting my labor - especially my super fast labor.  That one was 2 hours from waking up with a mild but different contraction to holding my baby.  Right after I hung up the phone from calling the midwife, I felt like my labor became that 90 mph roller coaster.  At one point, I looked at my husband with tears in my eyes and said, "I don't want to do this anymore.  Can't I just stop?"  Then it dawned on me that the only way out of this was through it.  And then I became much more purposeful about labor - consciously relaxing and working with my labor instead of fighting it. 

 

Can you labor in the tub?  They don't call it the midwives' epidural for nothing.  That was the most glorious relief I had ever experienced. 

 

 

[Incognito]

If you can get your hands on it, the Ina May Gaskin book Spiritual Midwifery is extremely hippy-dippy but encouraging, inspiring, and positive.