Has Anyone Read French Kids Eat Everything?

[austen]

This was about a North American mom who moved with her French husband and two kids (who'd lived in Canada) to France for a year. She noticed a difference right away in the French food culture of how they raised their kids as eaters. Gradually she implemented some French ideas into her home and saw drastic changes in her kids.

 

Most of the ideas in this book are not rocket science: no snacks, eat slow, don't cater to kids, but I really needed the reminder to be more firm with my kids and "to be in charge of their food education."

 

It was fascinating reading about the differences between the French, particularly how parents introduce vegetables first. They also expect their children to like a variety of foods more than we do in North America. It seems like sometimes we just accept that kids will just eat "kid foods" and nothing else. And the snacking thing. I've become more aware of how much I was snacking by doing the "No S" diet. But now I see how much my kids were filling up on snacks too.

 

I've already seen some positive changes from implementing some of the ideas in the book. But this book has got me thinking about how we feed our kids here in the States, even how things have changed since I was a kid.

 

Do you let your kids snack or do you limit snacks? Do you think the North American food culture contributes to picky eater syndrome?

 

[Mrs Mungo]

My kids all spent some portion of their lives living in Europe. They eat snacks, tons of them. They are all underweight. They snack on fruit, cheese, yogurt, granola bars, veggies, cottage cheese, etc. I don't buy lots of cookies or things like that. My kids are not picky eaters. There are a couple of things each of them don't like. But, combined they eat nearly everything you can think of. They have always eaten whatever we were eating.

[Dory]

My kids snack at snack time. My oldest two are excellent eaters despite my oldest ds struggling with textures and stronger flavours. He will work through it and eat a little of anything with a smile and a thank you. My youngest still hasn't gotten there yet, but he's getting better. All of my kids are pretty skinny just as I was at their age. I have a very hard time finding pants skinny enough to be comfortable on them and look alright.

 

When my kids snack they have a boiled egg, home made granola bar, dried fruit, trail mix, fruit, raw veggies, or milk. In the summer they rarely snack inside as they just grab something from the garden while they are playing.

[nerdybird]

Yes, I have read the book.

 

I have taken a middle ground. I offer my kids options at meals: what I serve, a bowl of cereal or a pb&j. That's it.

 

My oldest is very picky and eats a lot of cereal. I don't push him to try new things, but I do tell him that he needs to eat fruit and veggies. He also takes Benefiber, a multivitamin and a complicated regimen of supplements in addition to his meds.

 

DD will eat anything that doesn't eat her first, so no worries there. Except for broccoli and asparagus. Pretty standard dislikes, really.

 

DS2 is like DD, except for he likes asparagus. He's also a baby caveman carnivore who somehow naturally gravitated towards a paleo diet. Weird child, he is.

 

The littles are still at the stage where they will try anything I put on their plates, but both prefer fruit, pasta, oatmeal, and yogurt.

 

I don't cater to my kids with special kid foods, but I'm not an envelope pusher either. We eat a balanced diet, and we don't do snacks unless they are school-related ie Teddy Grahams or pretzels that are used as manipulatives during math). They get junk at grandma's house, lol and then she gets to deal with them jumping off the walls. I also don't allow soda or juice in my home anymore except for OJ in the mornings.

[Jean in Newcastle]

My kids eat everything as long as it's Asian.  So they will gobble up all sorts of weird seafood and Asian vegetables but European ones?  Not so much.  I wonder if it would be the reverse for French kids?

[Aelwydd]

We introduced veggies early and often to ds. We varied our diet so ds was also exposed to a variety of cuisine. So, he snacks, but his snack foods include things like raw broccoli, celery, crackers, blackberries and raspberries, nuts, cheese, tomatoes, and the baddies like cereal and nutella sandwiches (both of which we limit).

 

He has one or two snacks a day. But he'll eat all kinds of dishes-Thai, Vietnamese, Indian, Italian, mexican, seafood, in addition to staples like roast or meatloaf. He is less picky than I am!

[fraidycat]

My kids snack, but on "normal" food. Fruit, nuts, veggies, leftovers. We don't keep a lot of snack only food in the house, like chips, cookies, etc.

 

I introduced veggies first when they were babies. They eat a wide variety of veggies now. And despite DS's texture sensitivities and super strong gag reflex, broccoli is his absolute favorite veggie. I can't figure that one out. :)

 

After the mushed veggies, when they graduated to chewing, they've always been fed whatever we were having, so not "kid food". They are expected to at least try a portion of all new things. Today, they were asking for sushi - they love it.

 

ETA: I have not read the book, nor had I heard of it before this post. :)

[saw]

When DS was four, we was in pre-school in France and ate lunch at school a couple of times a week. The menu was published on the town's website, and I was always jealous that I couldn't have school lunches with him. He would get a starter, meat/veg, cheese/yoghurt and a dessert. In afterschool he would get a roll with jam or similar. DS loved it, but he will eat pretty much anything and everything. 

I remember when my dds were about 5 they became extremely picky for a couple of years, but picky about everything -- they wouldn't touch pizza, pasta, french fries, certain veg, etc. It passed and now they eat almost everything. I never really catered to any of unless it suited me (certainly not going to push pizza on them if they dislike it!), gave them their meal, told them they didn't have to eat it but they did have to look at it, and hoped for the best. For them, this has worked well as they all seem to have healthy attitudes toward food and a good sense of how much/what to eat. 

[Joyofsixreboot]

I read it and her old blog. It seemed pretty much how I was raised though and what I do with my own kids. Starting mid stream with kids would be tougher.

[Pawz4me]

Never mind.  It was a bit off topic and posted way too early for me to be getting on my soapbox. ;)

[Amy in NH]

I haven't read it, but I also have never had the mindset that children eat "kid" foods.  Our kids eat the meals we serve, and we make a variety of well-balanced meals with a variety of flavors from a variety of cultures.  When they were very young, we allowed them Ranch dip, but now they just eat it the way it is served.  Our meal schedule is a bit different so we all eat a snack between lunch (~2pm) and dinner (~8-9pm), but it is usually things like cheese, apples, and peanuts.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I live on the French side of Switzerland, so similar cultures.  The book is more-or-less accurate, though it is a sterotype and the culture here is becoming Americanized of course, with more junk food, etc. 

 

Basically, kids eat "real" food.  Some chain type restaurant might offer a kids plate of nuggets and fries, but the majority of restaurants don't- kids just order off the main menu.  When you go to someone's home, everyone eats the same food- no separate dish for the kids.  There is a set afternoon "snack time", and it seems to be pretty universal around here.  If you are invited over for an afternoon playdate, the afternoon snack is implied int he invitation.  It is usually yogurt or cheese, fruit, and usually a homemade treat or a cookie. 

 

This is essentially how I was raised in the US, so it seems natural.  My basic food rule is that I don't do food battles.  My kids are served the family meal, they eat as much as they'd like, they can't have seconds of one item if they haven't made an effort on the other dishes, and if they "don't prefer it" (as I teach them to say instead of eeew yuck), then they can wait for the next scheduled meal time- no remarks or comments or cajoling, just an "If you're all done, you can go play!". 

 

This is not a brag, but my kids are the best eaters I have ever seen.  I have never seen one of them turn their nose up just because something is new or different looking.  They each have a couple of foods that they "don't prefer", but will still eat enough to not starve until the next meal.  If I put raw onions in something, they will fish those out.  :-) 

 

The only thing I don't get about the eating in my region is the presence of "sirop".  This is basically kool-aid concentrate, and you add a spoonful or two to a glass of water to get a sweet drink.  I swear I have mom friends that tell me their children will only drink sirop.  I'm like, "if you give them nothing but water, they will drink water."  No one is willing to test this due to fears of dehydration and hospitalization for the poor water-fed children.  LOL.  My kids only get sirop at their friends' houses, and they do love it when they get it.  I have a specific friend who, when she brings her daughter over for the afternoon, brings over her daughter's sirop to be sure the kid will have something to drink.  :scared:

 

eta:  WHen people ask, I tell them my kids are good eaters because they got homemade baby food, and that I got them OFF homemade baby food and onto table food ASAP.  Also, I do think some kids just have those metabolisms that demand calories, whether the kid likes the food or not. 

[EKS]

No snacks here even when they were little.  My kids never ate "kid foods" exclusively, though they would if they were served.  They did have preferences, sometimes strong preferences, though, and the younger one went through a picky stage.

[Rachel]

 

The only thing I don't get about the eating in my region is the presence of "sirop".  This is basically kool-aid concentrate, and you add a spoonful or two to a glass of water to get a sweet drink.  I swear I have mom friends that tell me their children will only drink sirop.  I'm like, "if you give them nothing but water, they will drink water."  No one is willing to test this due to fears of dehydration and hospitalization for the poor water-fed children.  LOL.  My kids only get sirop at their friends' houses, and they do love it when they get it.  I have a specific friend who, when she brings her daughter over for the afternoon, brings over her daughter's sirop to be sure the kid will have something to drink.  :scared:

 

eta:  WHen people ask, I tell them my kids are good eaters because they got homemade baby food, and that I got them OFF homemade baby food and onto table food ASAP.  Also, I do think some kids just have those metabolisms that demand calories, whether the kid likes the food or not. 

 

I have a friend that bring drinks for her kids to my house too.  My kids are big milk drinkers and this particular friend thinks I am torturing them.

 

I've read the book and really enjoyed it.  However, it didn't really change or influence how I fed my kids because it was similar to how I already fed them.  We don't have a set snack time in our house, but if the kids are hungry in the afternoon they'll ask for fruit, nuts, or occasionally carrots with peanut butter.  We don't keep crackers, chips, etc. in the house.  We only have cookies if we have happened to make them which isn't often.

 

My 6 year old is a great eater and loves trying new things.  He especially likes spicy foods which always surprises me.  My 4 and 1 year old are stubborn eaters (picky isn't the right word).  Neither likes tomatoes, but they do generally try some of whatever is served and both like a decent variety of foods.  They all love typical kid foods but with the exception of mac & cheese on occasion, I don't fix them.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I didn't read that book, but I did read "Bringing Up Bebe," which talked about a lot about how the French feed their kids. The summary:

 

-Kids eat three meals a day, plus a snack at 4pm. They don't let their kids snack all day long like many Americans. We implemented this at our house, for the most part, and like not having the boys ask for snacks all the time. I do let Tigger bring a snack for gymnastics practice because it runs through dinner and he is starving after.

 

-The author pointed out that too often, American parents give their baby or kid a new food once or twice and if the kid doesn't like it, the parents just give up. She said French parents keep offering the food because often the kid will learn to like it. I tried this with Little Guy (age 4), who said he didn't like broccoli. I started making him eat two bites when I served it, and within a few weeks, he not only would eat it, he was excited and thanking me for cooking it!

[JumpyTheFrog]

My brother was an extremely picky eater, so DH and I decided not to do separate kid foods. At restaurants, they order off the regular menu. If people always gove their kids chicken nuggets snd hot dogs, isn't that a bit like saying, "Kids don't like adult foods"?

[mommymilkies]

Ok, I just finished this book last week.  It was ok.  I did find she really pushed the stereotypes as my friends from and in France have not had the same experience in many of the things she stated ALL French do.  I came at this book from the opposite perspective: a parent of underweight kids.  As a self proclaimed Francophile, I really wanted to like this book. Overall, I did enjoy some of it, and it will stay on my shelf for now.

I commiserated with her parenting faux pas and the adjustment to new cultures. However, I found the French largely horrifying going by her description. I mean, the near death incident and them being mad she interrupted dinner? I have friends from France and in France and I certainly hope that she just knew some jerks, or I just know the loveliest French folks there are. 

Also, it was really annoying that she used Attachment Parenting as an excuse for being permissive. AP is NOT permissive parenting. She clarified this a bit more in the appendices, but it really rubbed me wrong. 

And blaming Breastfeeding? Come on. Most people I know who breastfed so so because it's a lazy way to get more sleep and rest. And yes, I've stayed up months with colicky babies both breastfed and bottlefed.  Sure it's not easy for everyone, but going off of one anecdote as a reason for her to feel guilt for breastfeeding seems like she's using it as an excuse or another source of the overwhelming anxiety this book exudes. 

Overall, I like her "rules" but not her glorification of the French ways which seem callous if not downright abusive at times. I do NOT find the French this way from my experiences outside this book, so for me this actually shed a scary light on things that can not be as common as she claims, or maybe it just is in the small town she lived in? 

[JennyD]

Is there really another new book out on this theme?  Have we not yet reached market saturation for books about "How Parents From [insert country of choice] Are Raising Their Children So Much Better Than You Are"?   

 

I am all for reexamining my own culturally embedded practices and expectations, but I am just getting so weary of this publishing trend.  

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I didn't read that book, but I did read "Bringing Up Bebe," which talked about a lot about how the French feed their kids. The summary:

 

-Kids eat three meals a day, plus a snack at 4pm. They don't let their kids snack all day long like many Americans. We implemented this at our house, for the most part, and like not having the boys ask for snacks all the time. I do let Tigger bring a snack for gymnastics practice because it runs through dinner and he is starving after.

 

-The author pointed out that too often, American parents give their baby or kid a new food once or twice and if the kid doesn't like it, the parents just give up. She said French parents keep offering the food because often the kid will learn to like it. I tried this with Little Guy (age 4), who said he didn't like broccoli. I started making him eat two bites when I served it, and within a few weeks, he not only would eat it, we was excited and thanking me for cooking it!

 

Yes, actually I was thinking of Bringing up Bebe as well, not the book the OP mentioned! 

 

There is some science now to back up the multiple exposure thing as well.  Heck, I didn't like sushi or fondue the first times I tried them (both as an adult), but I sure do like them now! 

 

And I will not even mention the Swiss baby cereal mixes that contain chocolate.  The Swiss and their chocolate!!!  :smilielol5:

 

[MysteryJen]

I skimmed it at the bookstore. It rubbed me the wrong way too, but I generally don't like books that tell me how badly I have parented. I introduced all my babies to vegetables first. They happily ate them until they were about 2. Then they wouldn't touch them. They all eat fruit easily, and will eat vegetables if pressed. We have also continued to offer foods and yet, no one in the house thanks me for making them vegetables or salad.

 

They also are very active and snack on mostly healthy things. But we eat candy and dessert regularly.

 

There is no magic way to get people to like all kinds of foods. Really we all should be allowed our own tastes.

[JumpyTheFrog]

There is no magic way to get people to like all kinds of foods.

I agree that everybody is not going to like everything. However, we do seem to have a culture that gives up too easily on getting kids to try new things or eat vegetables. Tigger doesn't like vinegar and while I don't push it on him, I often say, "That's okay, your tastes will change as you get older. Many things taste stronger to kids than adults, so even if you don't like it now, you might by the time you are twenty."

 

Another thing is that many people think they don't like vegetables because they and/or their parents aren't good cooks. My mom thought asparagus and other things were nasty as a kid, but that was because her mom only served canned asparagus and boiled the veggies to death. When she met her future MIL and tried the same veggies fresh from the garden, she realized she didn't dislike them, she disliked them when they were made by a bad cook. I don't like raw broccoli much, but I love it steamed, stir-fried, or roasted. I avoid raw cauliflower but roasted cauliflower is amazing. I eat tons of baby spinach in salads, but cooked spinach isn't too appealing. Maybe before we give up, we need to try different ways of cooking and/or spicing a particular food.

[trinchick]

Despite my having fed both kids the same way from birth, they are like night and day when it comes to their eating habits. 

 

DD is a veggie lover. Her favorites are brussels sprouts, asparagus, and broccoli. Every day she enjoys raw broccoli and carrots as a snack. However, with the exception of an occasional apple, the girl will not touch fruit at all. If you offer her a banana she acts like you're trying to poison her. As an infant, I made her fresh babyfood - started with veggies - whatever we had at the table, we just ground up and she lapped it up.

 

DS is a fruit lover. At the grocery store he begs for berries and oranges. However, with the exception of a few raw carrots, he will not touch vegetables. He cannot stand even having them on his plate and will have a total meltdown (he's 3). I made all his baby food, too, also from the table and starting with veggies. Unlike DD, he wouldn't eat it. He spit it out. Would not even eat the baby cereal. He went straight to table food at 6 months (just chopped up super tiny).

 

Both kids love snack/junk food, and I allow them to enjoy it in our home in moderation. They might have a handful of Cheez-its or chips in the afternoon. We have dessert every night (e.g., a small dish of ice cream with an Oreo garnish). Both kids are healthy and neither is overweight.

 

I don't see the big deal. They just are who they are. Like a couple of PPs have mentioned, there's nothing magic about it. I like what I like, and they like what they like. As long as they are healthy and happy, food is not a battle worth fighting IMHO.

[Gentlemommy]

One thing I've noticed, (not saying this is a theory or anything, my scope of experiences is tiny, but anyway...) is that the bigger deal people make of vegetables and fruits and 'healthy' food choices, the more their kids are inclined to refuse them. I'm blessed with three kids who will eat most things. We as a family don't enjoy seafood, since dh and I don't, however, when we went to the Keys, the girls caught and ate lobster and fish. Anyway, my point is-we eat foods we enjoy. We regularly have fresh fruit and vegetables available. I have made a commitment this year to try one new vegetable every week or two until we've tried everything our store and farmers market carries. We've had fun trying new things!

I do offer snacks-high protein, high fat, nutrient dense snacks-nuts, seeds, fruits and vegetables, Greek yogurt, raw milk, cheese, ect. I try not to keep heavily processed foods in our house, but I'm not super strict if we go out somewhere. If we want cookies or cake, I'll make them rather than buy. Then I can keep the ingredients to a minimum, and use higher quality things.

[idnib]

I read the book and didn't really like it but I can't put my finger on why.

 

We were basically already doing the things she talked about and my kids are good eaters who eat whatever we eat.

 

The only thing I took away from the book was that it was good to tell my kids it's okay to be hungry. We understood that, more or less, but I've found it useful to say it explicitly. We're Muslim so when they are older they'll be fasting for Ramadan and they'll internalize that fact on their own, but it's a useful tool if we're out and about and they want a snack. Our culture is that if we are hungry something must be done as soon as possible and that's simply not true. I'm glad they've figured that out, although I think Ramadan will drive it home much more than just reminding them myself.

[Pawz4me]

I haven't read the book, but some of what's posted certainly doesn't seem like it would lead to good eating habits to me.  Quite the contrary.  Like categorically saying no snacks (especially for young kids).  To be blunt, that sounds incredibly stupid and controlling to me.  My priority as far as food and raising kids is pretty simple -- I want them to know how to listen to and respect their body's signals.  And that means if they're really hungry between meals having a snack is perfectly okay.  Denying hunger just because the clock says it isn't some (arbitrary) time that has been designated for a meal is IMO just as bad as eating when you're not hungry just because it *is* time for a meal.

[trinchick]

One unfortunate bad habit my husband seems to pick up slowly over time from living here is eating fast.  Growing up we got 15 minutes for lunch.  This included the time it took to get your food, get your seat, clean up your stuff, etc.  So I got used to eating very fast.  It's not good.  When I met my husband I sometimes marveled at how long it took him to eat!  LOL  Luckily he does get an hour for lunch at work so he doesn't have to vacuum up his lunch, but I do notice that he is much faster than years ago.  That is probably from watching me all these years!  I am very happy my kids don't have to be rushed through meals.

 

My DH eats at the speed of light, and my DD is the world's slowest eater. DH is also impatient and in charge of dinner clean-up. Within five minutes of finishing eating he jumps up from the table and starts clearing everything up. Meanwhile DD is just slowly plodding along with her meal as DH whisks away the serving bowls and starts the washing up. Then he gets frustrated when she brings her plate to the sink just as he finishes with the dishes. This happens every. single. night and the entire interaction makes me nuts. I think it's rude of DH to leave the table before everyone has finished, and DH thinks DD dawdles and should eat faster.

 

I, of course, eat at the perfect pace and never annoy anyone at the table with my eating habits; I do, however, annoy DH with my criticisms about eating too quickly and not waiting for everyone else to finish.

[JumpyTheFrog]

I don't remember if "Bringing Up Bebe" addressed snacking when the kids are starving or not. I doubt many of us here would automatically deny unscheduled snacks, no matter how hungry our kids are. Still, there is lots of room between having one scheduled snack per day and unlimited snacking, with food given out at every event. I've seen several soccer teams hand out snacks after every game, even if it's been only 1-2 hours since breakfast. Now I understand that some kids might need them, but do we really need to encourage all the kids to think they need junk after every game? I've never seen anyone hand out anything healthy, just highly processed junk.

 

I think reading about how other cultures do things can help us rethink parenting practices that nobody ever questions. I think all cultures can learn from each other. No one country is the best at parenting, but different countries may excel in different areas. We'd be fools to assume that we can't learn anything from non-Americans. Look at how excited many of us here are when a new books comes out about how education works in other parts of the world. If we can accept that our educational system could learn a few things, then why do we get offended at the idea that our culture's parenting could learn things as well?

[JumpyTheFrog]

Just to make it clear, I am not a "snack Nazi." I have one very thin, very active child who is perpetually hungry, partly his fault and partly not. The demands for snacks (often because he wasn't eating enough at meals) were getting out of control and making my day miserable. When he went through a two month growth spurt a year ago and needed 6-7 full meals per day, that was annoying, but didn't upset me. But wanting to graze all day when not in a growth spurt was unacceptable because he eats very slowly and tends to get off his seat a million times. The eating was taking up hours per day (including cleanup). Reading about a country where kids have one scheduled snack encouraged us to get the snacking under control. He adjusted and now has a late afternoon snack, plus any snacks needed as a result of an activity that causes meal time to be delayed by a few hours.

[Slartibartfast]

IMO many kids do not have some foods available to them. Some produce is just costly and IMO that is a problem with our food subsidies rather than our culture itself. When kids have good food available to them many of them will eat it, some will not but many will.

 

When dd attended school there were so many food allergies in her class that the parents just brought fruit and vegetables for parties. All the kids loves the fruit and some said they had never tried blueberries and raspberries before we brought them. There was one kid who would not eat the fruit/veggies. He would eat any sugar treats that were brought and he insisted on the same lunch everyday. That was a bologna sandwich, Doritos, and a brownie.

 

Some kids are just going to have food issues regardless of what they are given. Some kid's parents simply cannot afford to offer as much produce as they would like, also some parents have no idea what to do with the produce when they have it. 

 

Dd will eat anything except she does not like bananas or coconut. I think she is LESS picky than dh and myself. :lol:  I used to take her to Whole Foods with me and she would eat whatever the adorable Whole Foods deli guy would give her. The people at the deli counter always thought it was hilarious. He was the first person to give dd asparagus, it is still one of her favorite vegetables. I didn't think she would eat it so I hadn't been making it. He did make me realize I was selling dd a bit short and I started cooking a larger variety of things.

 

I breastfed both my kids and their first foods were  vegetables. We never gave them rice cereal since it is nutritionally useless.

 

 

 

 

[LibraryLover]

I skimmed it in the library, and my first thought was that the author seems to have a high cortisol level, so that made me uncomfortable.  I didn't think the ideas of sitting to eat with children, giving them real food etc was bad advice.  I also know kids in France have snacks, so that part didn't ring true.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Well, other than the snooty "French are better than stupid Americans in every way" title, I agree with what they say, for the most part.  We never did "kid" foods.  Our kids ate what we ate.  I didn't do baby food (made my own until the kids were ready to eat what we were having.)  Since I have problems with hypoglycemia, I made sure we did snacks (but treated it like a mini-meal) but mostly to control blood sugar and it wasn't "snacky food" but fruit, nut butters, veggies and dip, real cheese and whole grain crackers, etc..  I think my oldest was probably 8 before he ever had a Dorito.  But, my second kid was an incredibly picky eater, but it was a sensory issue.  But we never did the "kid food" think with him, but worked with him on his very strong dislikes.  At restaurants, we didn't do kids menus unless they were simply smaller portions of real food rather than junky fast food.  Otherwise, we would just split orders. 

[Bearcat]

I read the book awhile back. Did not care for the stereotypes about how people in North America eat and because of that questioned how accurate her portrayal was of the way French people eat.

 

My kids eat at set meal times and they eat the food I prepare, whatever it might be. They are welcome to refuse to eat it, but if they do they do not get an alternative. This was already an established rule before I read the book. I am busy enough and have no desire to be a short order cook in my home.

I also do not buy a lot of snack foods or junk food. We consume very little sugar and processed foods in my home. Every now and then for a treat but that is all. We have fruits and vegetables readily available that are welcome to eat whenever they want, without asking. If they want to eat something else like some cheese or yogurt I prefer they ask first. Mostly to ensure we are not burning through the supply to fast and to ensure they are not filling up right before a meal.

 

So, overall. I did not find the book all that inspirational because I was already doing much of what she was suggesting.

And I am from North America and have never even traveled to France. So, please don't paint all North Americans with a such a wide paintbrush.

[Audrey]

I read it. I kept waiting for some kind of revelatory wisdom, but nope.  It's just the same thing that I see most people doing around here, and what my parents did when we were kids.  In general, in my area, people eat at home the vast majority of meals and kids eat what is served to everyone else.  The exception would be babies, of course. There are no fast-food restaurants in the neighbouring towns, so there isn't much of a fast-food culture here. 

 

FWIW, my ds has never been a fuss-pot about food.  He'll give anything a try, and if he doesn't like it, no one makes a big deal out of it. He might say something 'isn't his favourite' or he might outright dislike it, but he doesn't make a big deal out of that either.  I figure that everyone has something or a few somethings they don't like.  Instead of focusing on the few dislikes, I pay attention to the myriad 'likes' and go with that.

[PrairieSong]

I haven't read the book, but my mom was a fantastic cook who made all kinds of things..regular food like spaghetti and grilled hamburgers, but also different ethnic foods and whatever she thought looked interesting from Gourmet magazine or one of her many cookbooks. None of us were very picky. We ate every kind of vegetable. I loved broccoli and cauliflower and salad...I still do. Who started the idea that kids aren't supposed to like vegetables, and prefer a diet of chicken nuggets, Mac and cheese, pizza, etc.?

 

My kids are not picky either. We always ate together. I didn't force anyone to eat anything or to eat every bite, but trying new things was encouraged. Most of my kids really enjoy cooking, too.

 

I have seen very picky eaters in other families. I honestly don't know what causes it.

[Mrs Mungo]

Some kid's parents simply cannot afford to offer as much produce as they would like, also some parents have no idea what to do with the produce when they have it.

I think the latter is more common than the former. One Thanksgiving when we had a bunch of people over, I made roasted balsamic glazed brussels sprouts with bacon. *None* of the ten or so *adults* present had ever eaten them before. I think there was a time period in the US when canned veggies really took over. Most veggies aren't great out of a can, and most people just boiled them. Boiled asparagus out of a can is terrible. So, people thought they hated asparagus. It was a real surprise to dh when he learned that he actually liked fresh, properly cooked asparagus.

[bolt.]

In my family, I'm the one who has limitations and preferences. Therefore, there are lots of things that I habitually don't involve in our family diet.

 

I enjoy many "normal" veggies (the less bitter ones) and almost all fruits that are common in N. America. I eat meat: mostly plain or lightly seasoned. I like a lot of dairy and grains.

 

I hate wine, coffee, most fish, and almost all bitter or strong veggies, including bell peppers and uncooked onions. I like only about 10% of the types of cheese out there, and anything with a hint of mayonnaise in it makes me gag. Even the most 'mild' of spicy foods feel like fire in my mouth. I order steak without pepper because even a sprinkle of regular black pepper makes it so I can't taste the meat. I also don't like whipped cream.

 

So, my kids aren't getting wide exposure to flavours because I try to prepare things that everybody mostly-likes -- including catering to myself most of the time. I like things pretty plain.

 

You can see that my narrow flavour range does not make a balanced nutritious diet impossible. That's my goal with parenting and food. I don't care if they aren't interested in blue cheese and beet salad. It's not as if I'm raising them exclusively on chicken fingers and Mac-n-cheese.

[Susan in TN]

I've seen this book.  A couple of my kids will not eat hot dogs.  My 5yo hates or loves mushrooms depending on the month.  They all think a hard boiled egg for lunch is a real treat :001_huh: and you should see them cheer for tomato bisque.  I have too many mouths and too limited a budget to cater to individual tastes (except for nuts and a couple other food sensitivities), so they eat what is being served or not. 

 

We don't eat a huge variety of foods, but we don't have the budget for a great variety (particularly if they include special ingredients that would only be used for that one dish) and also I just don't have the time to plan and cook many new recipes.  Once in a while, but not often.

 

My kids can have a mid-afternoon snack and a bedtime snack.  That's pretty much it because otherwise they would be eating constantly - I eliminated our mid-morning snack for budgetary reasons.  My two teenagers can make themselves a snack whenever they like.  No one is overweight except me and I don't snack, so go figure. :)

 

[Mom in High Heels]

I read the book a long time ago and thought...eh.  I pretty much do all that stuff anyway.  When both boys were babies, we fed them German baby foods, which are not bland like American baby foods (have you ever tasted that stuff?), and other than apple sauce or pears for the very early eaters, there were no other single fruits.  There were fruit mixes, but they always had veggies in them.  Indy's favorite food was a green veggie mix of spinach, peas, leeks and broccoli.  Han Solo's favorite was pumpkin and apples.  Weird.

Indy is an amazing eater and loves the strangest things.  His favorite food in the whole world is escargot.  He also likes cous cous, brussel sprouts (but only if they're roasted), squid, octopus, broccoli, hummus (any kind) and a whole host of things other kids probably wouldn't even think of touching.  Han Solo's favorite foods (currently) are broccoli (it doesn't matter what it's in, he's going to eat it), apples, blueberries, pasta with parm and parsley and spinach artichoke hummus.  He likes chicken, and will sometimes eat fish, but isn't keen on any other meats.  We tried to fool him once and gave him some of James Bond's pork chop and told him it was chicken.  He put it in his mouth and almost immediately spit it out and said "Oh, that chicken nasty!"  He's not keen on beef either, but I suppose he might get that from me, as I don't eat beef or pork, because they gross me out (it's a texture thing).

They do eat junky stuff every now and then, but Indy has always preferred to order from the adult menu, because he says it's got better stuff.  :)

[matrips]

We did snacks as toddlers but it was always veggies, cheese or fruits. Then we got out of snacks for years, but I just started them again on certain days. But again, veggies, cheese, fruits. My kids will try almost anything and have a wide range of tastes. We've done family meals since 18mos old, and they eat what we eat. They are much more adventurous than me. They each have a food or two they don't like, but that's it. My one ds's hated food is potatoes. Including fries and chips. Though sweet potatoes are fine by him. I don't think I even ate a sweet potato until I had kids. Something about wanting them to eat better than me; I really had to stretch myself. I eat so much healthier than I ever did before kids. And I even got rid of my hidden stash of Froot Loops several years ago :)

[mommymilkies]

Ok, I have to ask: Why the two star rating on this thread?  :lurk5:

[Joker]

I absolutely refuse to make food a big deal in this house. I honestly feel that had I been too strict with my dds that they would not be the good eaters they are today. They have each gone through phases but I didn't react harshly. They are not sent to bed hungry because they did not like or want to eat what was cooked. They have always been able to choose to make themselves something else and I think it is a good thing. They also snack a lot but they are tiny and usually always choose healthy foods as a snack. I think many here obsess and make food a bigger issue than it needs to be.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

There is a huge variety of eating habits in France, obviously.  Same with the US.  But if we can't make at least SOME generalities, conversation is essentially impossible.  To say that a culture generally supports or inhibits good eating can be a valid statement.  Where I live, kids are out of school from 12-1:30 every afternoon.  Only the largest schools in the city offer canteens.  This means every child I know up to 8th grade (don't know any older ones!) comes home and has a hot, home cooked meal at home.  About 50% of the dads I know also make it home for lunch every day.  This allows for a much lighter evening meal.  I would love to be able to do this to get out of the 5pm time to make a big dinner routine.  It doesn't mean everyone eats healthy... not by a long shot... but the culture encourages it.  If a society is subsidizing corn and wheat so that low-income homes can more cheaply eat fast food than home cooked meals, then what else can we expect but that unhealthy eating rise? 

 

 

As far as menus... I have never had any issue asking for one adult meal to be split over 2-3 plates for my kids, or to have a half portion of a meal (obviously something easily cut in half, like spaghetti or fish filets, not a steak!)  Now that my son has a celiac diagnosis, we no longer eat out.  The US has a definite advantage in terms of allergy and intolerance awareness that does not yet exist here!!!  When we visit the US, we love to go out because menus are often marked with gluten, dairy, etc symbols to make it easier to choose. 

 

 

Also, whoever pointed out that whether or not your mom knew how to cook veggies has an impact on whether or not you like them... YES!  My mom did a ton of canned or frozen veggies and I hated them.  Once I started cooking for myself as an adult, I would make veggies because it was "the right thing to do", and with time and recipe hunting, I now love them.  Now that my mom is retired, her cooking has also improved greatly, thank goodness. 

 

In terms of snack restriction:  My dd is routinely not hungry at 8am for breakfast.  I totally get that, as I hate eating in the mornings.  I make her plate anyway, and it sits on the table until about 9:30, when she eats it all.  If my son tells me mid-morning that he's hungry, he can have his choice of fruit.  This happens a couple times per week.  But all eating is done by 11, and the type of snacks are restricted to fruit in the mornings.  I am serving oatmeal cooked in milk, eggs, and other high-protein, high calorie items for breakfast, along with fruit.  If I were serving a bowl of rice krispies, I would fully expect everyone to need a morning snack! 

 

Snack in the afternoon is about half way between lunch and dinner and it's a solid snack.  I don't allow "grazing".  I'm sorry if some people believe this method is "stupid", but there is good evidence to support that we train our bodies to be hungry at certain times based on eating habits.  Once upon a time, if a child sat down hungry to a meal, it was considered a child with a "good appetite"- not a child who had been starved from 3:30pm-6:30pm by a mean mommy. 

 

I loved the descriptions in Farmer Boy of Almanzo waking up in the morning with his hollow stomach and stumbling down to do the milking and then coming into a hot kitchen with a table piled with food.  I don't think about his mean parents who didn't give him a snack.  I think about what a pleasure eating once was, back when we weren't so crazy about food and health and macro nutrients and vitamins...  I can remember finishing swim practice and feeling like my shoulders would just crash down into my hips because my middle was so empty.  I don't remember it as a horrible feeling, I remember it being exhilarating to be so hungry after hard work, and then to go home and sit down and EAT!  Eating is such a pleasure when one is hungry.  Being always half full takes a lot of the pleasure out of eating. 

[bolt.]

How do restraunts express "minding" that an adult shares food with their kids? We almost always share. Am I missing some social cues from the wait-staff? (I do tend to do that...)

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

Yeah see that is something here a lot of restaurants are not flexible about.  When we have gone to Germany, many restaurants don't have a kid's menu or kid's portions, but they don't mind if you just give them some of your food.  Here, nope, they don't go for that.

 

 

How do restraunts express "minding" that an adult shares food with their kids? We almost always share. Am I missing some social cues from the wait-staff? (I do tend to do that...)

 

 

I've seen this in the US as the wait staff not wanting to bring a small empty plate to the table for the child to use, or charging a "splitting fee".  The only thing that seems to always be splittalbe in the US is dessert... I've never had a waiter mind bringing an extra spoon.  It seems ridiculous, considering adult meals are usually twice the cost of kids meals anyway, and it's not like one extra plate to wash is going to make a difference in the bottom line for the restaurant.  We travel a lot to visit family, and so I am regularly eating in "non kid friendly" places because it's the only option.  For some reason, these reataurants seem more inclined to split a meal between two plates than cheaper "kid friendly" places that just want you to order from the kids meal.  For my celiac son, the only acceptable items are found off the kids meal anyway.

[8circles]

I remember splitting food at restaurants being an issue bit I have never encountered it as an adult. It seems like I should be able to identify the type of restaurant that had issue with it but I'm drawing a blank.

[Joker]

I've never had a problem sharing a meal and I've never been charged extra for doing so. It's dh and I who usually always share because portion sizes in most places here are so huge. Dds rarely have a problem finishing their own meals.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I've rarely seen a splitting fee and if I have, it's never been more than a few dollars.  I'm happy to pay it because the waitstaff and the kitchen staff have more work in clean up, but aren't getting paid more as the bill is basically the same.  I do tip more when I split meals for this reason. 

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I've rarely seen a splitting fee and if I have, it's never been more than a few dollars.  I'm happy to pay it because the waitstaff and the kitchen staff have more work in clean up, but aren't getting paid more as the bill is basically the same.  I do tip more when I split meals for this reason. 

 

Yeah, I much prefer to leave a generous tip than be forced to pay a splitting fee. 

 

I do think there is a difference between two adults splitting a meal and two children.  I don't expect society in general to bend over backwards to accommodate the whims of parents and children, but this seems like a reasonable request.  And while I completely understand two adults splitting the huge portions many places serve, there is an expectation that two adults equals two meals. 

[Amy in NH]

Most people I know who breastfed so so because it's a lazy way to get more sleep and rest. 

 

Wow.  That's not been my experience at all.

[mommymilkies]

Wow.  That's not been my experience at all.

:lol:  It's a common theme among my friends.  Obviously not every night is so easy, but I admit part of the reason I breastfeed is laziness.  I had to bottle-feed my oldest two after 9 and 2 months, respectively.  It was suchhhhhh a pain.  Seriously-washing, sterilizing, preparing, cleaning.  And then a bottle that would get lost under a couch? *shudder*  And waking up to do this in the middle of the night?  I am way too lazy for that!   :lol: