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Child Name Question - What do you think? How would YOU?

Pamela H in Texas

By Pamela H in Texas,
in The Chat Board

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Do you like the name Serenity?  

204 members have voted

  1. 1. Do you like the name Serenity?

    • Yes
      46
    • A little, but I wouldn't name a child that
      12
    • A little (and I would make it work if a 4yo came to me with that name)
      42
    • Not really (but I would make it work if a 4yo came to me with it as her name)
      61
    • Not really
      8
    • Not at all.
      35

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Pamela H in Texas

Pamela H in Texas

Posted
Posted

Okay, so sometime in the past 3 years, we've had a little girl with a kinda different name.  So I wanted to know what the general consensus was on this name as both a first name and a middle name, what name you might put with it if you were to use it, that sort of thing.  

 

The name in question is Serenity.  

 

Since this little girl was here, I met another foster child with this name.  And I "met" on our counties homeschool group FB page a grown woman with this name.  I am not against such names.  For example, I like the names Faith and Joy (though I typically wouldn't use a one syllable name because of our last name).  I just had not heard this name prior to this little girl coming here.

 

Anyway, so whatcha think of the name in general? 

Could you think of a name that didn't have once syllable to go with it?  

First name or middle name?

 

If you didn't like it, could you do something in order to say, "well, her name when she came was Serenity; but we didn't really care for that name for her.  We changed it to _________ because ________."  

 

 

 

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Parrothead

Parrothead

Posted
Posted

I must not be understanding your question.

 

Are you thinking about changing the name of a foster child just because you don't like it?   Or are you giving a nickname to a person because you don't like their first name? Even if the person is an adult and is perfectly fine with their name?

 

I don't particularly like the name Serenity.  I usually don't like nouns as names anyway. But I wouldn't just start calling a child who came to my house by another name.

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myfunnybunch

myfunnybunch

Posted
Posted

I like the name Serenity.

 

If I did not care for it but was looking for something that would be easy to transition to, I'd choose Serene or Serena. We know a little girl named Serene, and I think it is a lovely name. I might also consider keeping Serenity, but giving her a nickname like Seri for everyday use.

 

If the child would be joining my family permanently, and I really didn't care for the name, I'd probably just make Serenity her middle name.

 

Cat

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sbgrace

sbgrace

Posted
Posted

I don't love it or hate it. I've seen a fair amount of that name in my teaching years. It never struck me one way or the other. Actually, I take that back. I remember a student and it really fit her. Maybe I like it! edited to add: I looked up and it's consistently in the top 100 of names--middle of the pack lately. So obviously it has plenty of love out there.

 

I don't think I would dream of changing the given name of a child that age unless it was something that was going to damage/seriously hinder them in life. This name definitely isn't remotely in that category. If you really dislike it, can you begin calling her a nickname? It might work but she may just tell you she prefers Serenity when she's old enough!

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Sisyphus

Sisyphus

Posted
Posted

I like it, but even if I didn't, I can't fathom changing a name given. Unless it's "Hitler" or something, and even then, I think I'd wait until the child was older and understood why and could pick a new one. It just seems wrong to change the name of a 4 year old child like that, when that is about all they have in the world that is stable and consistent.

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jewellsmommy

jewellsmommy

Posted
Posted

Serenity seems like a fine name to me. I don't think it would be a good practice to change the name of a child so young. Although, if she really wanted it changed and could articulate that to you well, then I would not be opposed. But I would be hesitant at 4 to accept this and would try to steer her to a related nick name until she was older. Wren (seRENity) could be a related nickname if the child prefers.

 

Ds was 7 when he came to us. His very first request was to be called by a name that was not his first, middle or even remotely related to his given name. He really wanted to distance himself from his unusual first name. We obliged him and he has never changed his mind back. ETA: It was appealing to him to not have to be that person of that name anymore and start fresh with a new identity.

 

But if every foster/guardian changed the name of a child just because they didn't like it then it could really add confusion and even trauma to a child. Ds had been through 3 homes before us, if they had each renamed him according to their preference, he would have been a mess.

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Pamela H in Texas

Pamela H in Texas

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Okay...interesting.  

 

The conversation came up because my daughter doesn't care for the name.  A child we had previously was named that.  We called her by her name, of course.  Had we adopted her, we likely would have changed some aspect of her name, with her input of course. She wasn't four.

 

All three of my adopted children kept the name they were previously called as part of their adopted names.  Not one of them goes by that name though. The only time they are called something with that name is when they are called by their full name.  They were 4, 5, and 6 at adoption. 

 

ETA:  Here, it is required that foster parents call the children by their given names.  Nicknames may be okay.  Before I called a child anything other than their given name, I'd get permission and it would need to be after TPR (unless the name was Hitler, of course). We have had only one set of siblings where it was DIFFICULT to call kids by their names/nicknames parents used.  We got used to it though.  I have grown some thick skin so after a week or two didn't think too much about what other people thought of the names.  We absolutely would have changed their names had we gotten to adopt.  We were thinking nice normal names like Peter, Benjamin, Rebecca rather than things related to drugs, satan, WWII. 

 

ETA2:  It was not originally our intention to drop our adopted children's names (else I wouldn't have kept them at all).  In fact, for T-lo especially, we really thought we would continue calling him that.  But we got home from the finalization and he asked what his adopted name was.  It took us a little time to get used to calling him what we do as it seems like such a BIG name (despite being four letters) for such a teeny guy.  But we eventually did get used to it.

 

 

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ocelotmom

ocelotmom

Posted
Posted

I actually find myself liking it quite a bit, especially if you ignore the Firefly connection (not that I dislike Firefly at all, but I don't like pop culture baby names).

 

Wouldn't name a baby that, though. I'd be afraid that it would end up being ironic.

 

I would not change the name of an adopted child old enough to know the difference unless they requested it.

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jewellsmommy

jewellsmommy

Posted
Posted

Okay...interesting.  

 

The conversation came up because my daughter doesn't care for the name.  A child we had previously was named that.  We called her by her name, of course.  Had we adopted her, we likely would have changed some aspect of her name, with her input of course. She wasn't four.

 

All three of my adopted children kept the name they were previously called as part of their adopted names.  Not one of them goes by that name though. The only time they are called something with that name is when they are called by their full name.  They were 4, 5, and 6 at adoption. 

 

It makes perfect sense to me, even at a youngish age, to establish a new or altered name at adoption if that is the desire of the child and family. :001_smile: I certainly did not mean to suggest that you were changing your children's names willy nilly. :blushing:

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Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Serena, Sera, and Wren all make sense as nicknames or terms of endearment if she likes them.

 

Do be careful, though, because Chris/Tina, Ed/Edward etc. can seem like completely different names to some people. xdh and ds1 have the same name on their birth certificates, but one goes by the full name and another by a shortened version and they can't stand being called each other's names.

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OrganicAnn

OrganicAnn

Posted
Posted

I prefer Serena.   My first thought was "Serenity Now" which is a Seinfeld reference.   I also think it is the name of an adult diaper.   So because of those references I wouldn't pick it as a first name.   I think it wouldn't be bad as a middle name, because most people don't pay much attention to middle names.  

 

If there is a person you love with that name, then you can overcome any the negative connections with a name.  

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SKL

SKL

Posted
Posted

It's all right.  I would not change a little girl's name from that to something else unless she was very young at the time of the name change.

 

It's kind of a mouthful - but then so is my daughter's four-syllable name, so....

 

Not sure what I'd pair it with.  It's a name with meaning, so you would want the other name to match in meaning as well as sound.  Unless it was a name without an obvious meaning, such as Mae or Lynn....

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swellmomma

swellmomma

Posted
Posted

Totally OT, but how does one sex a gecko?  Are they obvious?

 

I have no clue.  We were told at the pet store it was a female hence the name, but since we never plan to breed her if it turns out Serena was a boy all along it doesn't really matter, it's not like lizards care what you call them as long as you arrive with crickets lol

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Orthodox6

Orthodox6

Posted
Posted

I have no clue.  We were told at the pet store it was a female hence the name, but since we never plan to breed her if it turns out Serena was a boy all along it doesn't really matter, it's not like lizards care what you call them as long as you arrive with crickets lol

 

We gave away our gecko finally because I was sick-and-tired of buying that weekly bag of baby crickets and fearing they would get loose. 

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Ottakee

Ottakee

Posted
Posted

We have adopted 3 through foster care.

 

Ds came at 7 year old and was adopted at 8 years old. He chose to keep his birth first name but changed his middle name to dh's first name. His choice. It is interesting though as he now has contact with his birth father who shares the same first name AND a birth brother (by the same father) who ALSO has the same first name.

 

DD1 came at 7 months old, terminated at 16 months old, adopted at 3 1/2. We changed her name. It didn't fit her and she was very young.

 

DD2 came at 2 days old, parental rights terminated at 4 months old, adopted at 2 1/2. We changed her name as well. Her birth name was the same first name as my ds's sister who had abused him. dd was always called the name we gave her as we knew from the start she was staying.

 

For a very young child, I would consider changing their name. For a child that is a bit older I would ask their input and maybe use the old name as part of the name, middle name, etc. or go with their wishes to keep it or totally change it.

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Dory

Dory

Posted
Posted

I know a couple of people with the name. It's never been a favorite, but I like it alright. I think Serenity Grace has a nice flow when saying it and the meanings mesh well. As for a two syllable second name perhaps Serenity Karis, Serenity Ranice, Serenity Alayne, or Serenity Anna.

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mamawaabangi

mamawaabangi

Posted
Posted

We have children who've been adopted. I didn't like our son's name to begin with, it is very "1970" and not something I would EVER think of calling a child. He was adopted at age 5, but we made the name work because he very much felt connected to his name. We asked him what he would like to be called, his birth name, his other name we gave him or something else... he immediately chose his birth name.

Some kids do not feel a connection to thier names. If you are going to adopt her I would straight up ask her, "Do you want to be called Serenity? Or mommy and daddy thought of another name... What do you want...You tell us what you'd like us to call you."

 

I am not anti name changing, I think some kids need a fresh start and a new name can be a huge symbol of that for them.... others don't need it and really feel like they are who their name is. That said I do think name changing is over done in adoption and that it can be a really sad loss for some kids... I would err on not doing it, espeically if it is just because you aren't really sure about it.

 

We renamed our daughter who was given an obnoxious name from a baby home... it was a donor's name and was just not "her". But, we felt it would have been really unkind to take our son's name. Could you call her Seri, or some other nickname that works for both of you?

Additionally the name has a really sweet "promise" or hope for her, "peace" which is very meaningful!

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Jackie

Jackie

Posted
Posted

Not a big fan of the name, but it doesn't drive me up the wall or anything.

 

I spent several years working for CPS. In every case where an older child's (ages 4-12) name was changed at adoption, they really embraced it. Often, they had some say in the name and in a world where these kids have so little control over their own lives, that is huge. It's not even that the kids necessarily disliked their name; they just knew that adoption was a BIG deal and a name change was something fairly tangible for them to grab on to. I worked with several children who helped choose a first or middle name that was a "family name" for their adoptive family and was very symbolic for them. I had a couple change their names because they really disliked the unusual birth names they had been given. And I had at least one that changed their name just for fun - I think she saw it as almost a gift for her at the adoption hearing :)

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texasmama

texasmama

Posted
Posted

I know someone who named her dd Serenity Reign. She liked unusual names.

 

My two nieces were adopted from foster care and their names were altered slightly with their input. Not their real names, but instead of Pam, which was the original birth certificate name, it was changed to Pamela. They call her "Pamela". Middle name stated the same. The other girl had a name like Georgeanna but went by "Anna " so they changed her name to "Anna" upon adoption. Her middle name also stayed the same.

 

This seemed to work well and to be respectful of the girls, as they were 8 and 10 when adopted.

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Mommyof4ks

Mommyof4ks

Posted
Posted

I do like the name Serenity, but maybe a middle name. I also understand changing names when kids are adopted from foster care. Those that I know who have done it have had great results feeling like they really fit into the family with a name that suits them, a new beginning of sorts. We plan to make first names middle names, and give a new first name.

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