When DH goes out of town. . . how do you handle a fear of being alone

[Alicia64]

I'm embarrassed to admit how scary it is for me to sleep in a relatively large house alone. With kids, yes, but with no other adult. It doesn't make a lot of sense. It's probably just a phobia.

 

We live in a very safe suburb.

 

I have a big dog (who is a marshmallow -- not trained to fight at all).

 

The locks on our doors are quite lame which irritates me, but we rent and can't install dead bolts. (As far as I understand.)

 

There is an alarm that someone in the past had put in and we're getting it hooked up (only to sound an alarm -- it won't be hooked up to the police).

 

The backyard has sensor lights that go off if someone is walking around back there, but I haven't tested them.

 

Neighbors are immediately all around me. I'm in a subdivision -- not rural at all.

 

Still. I really hate staying alone and think, "What would I do if a bad guy(s) showed up?!" My worst fear is that I'll be sound asleep and someone will break in.

 

Do you have any suggestion for dealing with this -- besides taking a lot of Valium? DH is traveling a lot starting in January. :crying:

 

Alley

[Jean in Newcastle]

I'm fine until bedtime.  Then I bring one of the dogs into the bedroom with me (where she normally is not allowed) and lock the door to the bedroom.  

[Alicia64]

I'm fine until bedtime.  Then I bring one of the dogs into the bedroom with me (where she normally is not allowed) and lock the door to the bedroom.  

 

I worry that my dog will be zero help -- even though he's a German shepherd. I think that unless they're trained they don't attack.

 

Alley

[Jean in Newcastle]

I worry that my dog will be zero help -- even though he's a German shepherd. I think that unless they're trained they don't attack.

 

Alley

My solutions are primarily psychological for my own ability to sleep.  I don't live in a high crime area and in the daytime don't worry about my safety.  

[MrsMommy]

I hate when dh travels, which is fairly often, but I do think it gets better with time.

 

I always leave a light on upstairs...usually the laundry room light, which is visible from the master bedroom, but not too bright. I'll often fall asleep with the TV on, as well. Background noise helps.

 

Most of the time, I stay up really late, until I'm too exhausted and have to go to sleep. I've also been known to work on reciting Bible verses or hymns while I lay in bed, until I fall asleep.

 

Mostly, my goal is to just survive until he gets home. Is that pathetic?

[Miss Peregrine]

I used to be afraid. I would handle it by staying up ridiculously late reading until I could no longer stay awake. Then I would be out. 

I am pretty used to it now as DH works graveyard. Sometimes I let a kid sleep in my bed. :)

[AlmiraGulch]

The dog may not attack, but she will likely bark.  Keep your phone handy and ready to dial an emergency call.  Test the motion sensor lights.  Install more if you need to. 

 

They have alarms you can put on windows in case the glass breaks.  

 

They have bars you can use to jam windows and sliding doors, and they have manual door enforcers.  Cheap and no installation.  

 

Consider paying the monthly monitoring fee for an alarm system.  I do, and usually if someone is gone from my house it's me!  The peace of mind is worth the $20 a month or whatever that I pay.

 

Also, the stickers and signs the alarm company gives you are huge deterrents.  

[JustEm]

Learn how to defend yourself in case something does happen and be proactive and smart about when he goes away. Don't post about it on facebook or let people who really don't need to know that he's away. 

 

I also sleep with my dogs in my room but I keep the door open so if they hear something they'll bolt to where ever the noise came from and bark a lot. I also keep the baby monitor on so I can hear anything the isn't in ear shot.  I don't live in a dangerous area but not necessarily a safe area.

[Heidi]

I stay up really late until I'm too exhausted to be scared and fall asleep immediately. I have a gun, but that's only useful if I wake up before intruder is in my room. I figure I'm in God's hands, so I plead with Him to keep us safe.

[mytwomonkeys]

sometimes i'm fine by myself. other times my kids take turns sleeping with me :) . it's a treat for them & i'm not alone. win, win!  plus my two dogs sleep with me as well (and sometimes a cat, but that's not my choice. she's sneaky like that!).

[zoobie]

Does your dog bark? It doesn't matter if s/he will attack. The barking keeps people away/scares people. We had a shepherd/boxer mix with a HUGE shepherd bark. She was a cupcake but sounded fierce!

 

Have you asked about deadbolts? I can't imagine a landlord saying no to that if they're installed correctly. I've never heard of a house not having deadbolts, so I would ask them to install first and do it on your dime second.

 

You can buy door open alarms cheaply that don't require putting in an entire alarm system.

 

Would talking to someone about it help?

 

:grouphug:

[Alicia64]

Each one of you have been so helpful. Thank you! I love the baby monitor idea. I've done the "stay up late" trick for years, but he's traveling so much in '14 that I'll be a wreck of a homeschool mom if I don't get enough sleep.

 

The alarms will detect window movement too, so that's good.

 

Apparently to have the alarm hooked to the police, we'd need a land line and we only have cell phones.

 

So I'm getting "baby monitor" and quite possibly a Valium supply!

 

Alley

[elegantlion]

Sleep with a nightlight

leave a living room light on 

Keep your phone on your nightstand

Don't watch scary movies

Plan something silly with the kids that you wouldn't normally do, like eat popcorn for dinner and watch a silly movie

Do something for yourself that you don't normally get to do - like keep the nightstand light on and read until the wees hours. 

Have contingency plans in case the worst happens (I'm a hopeful pessimist. I plan for the worst knowing it will never happen).

Have a practiced family emergency plan (good for when spouse isn't traveling as well)

Have a girls night and invite a few friends over to drink coffee until too late

 

[AlmiraGulch]

Each one of you have been so helpful. Thank you! I love the baby monitor idea. I've done the "stay up late" trick for years, but he's traveling so much in '14 that I'll be a wreck of a homeschool mom if I don't get enough sleep.

 

The alarms will detect window movement too, so that's good.

 

Apparently to have the alarm hooked to the police, we'd need a land line and we only have cell phones.

 

So I'm getting "baby monitor" and quite possibly a Valium supply!

 

Alley

 

I have a home alarm that goes to the police and I don't have a land line.  It's via my cell.  It's pretty common.  If whatever company you spoke to only offers a landline option. call another.  When I had mine re-hooked up a couple of years ago every provider could do it off of my cell.  

[Liz CA]

Large dog. See my avatar. This girl has actually passed on but the dog I have now is the same breed. When this dog died I was home alone while dh was working out of town. I quickly got another one because I did not sleep a wink. We were living in an isolated area, in the woods with no neighbor within an acre.

[Alicia64]

You can buy door open alarms cheaply that don't require putting in an entire alarm system.

 

Would talking to someone about it help?

 

:grouphug:

 

Somebody long ago put in a nice alarm system -- we just have to activate it.

 

Yes, it does sound like a need to talk to somebody, doesn't it?! :)

 

I grew up in an abusive home -- my dad would become violent -- and I'm assuming that my fear somehow comes from that but I'm also aware that this could just be built into my DNA mean day or not.

 

Re: our shepherd. He just rarely barks. Occasionally he gets so excited to get breakfast or dinner that he barks. Or he barks if he thinks we're leaving him and going to a dog park without him. Otherwise he's very quiet.

 

Thanks for the hugs,

 

Alley

[Berta]

My dogs serve as an early warning signal. No one gets close to my house without them hearing and alerting. I train with firearms and keep one in the bedroom by the bed.

[speedmom4]

I totally understand how you feel. My husband travels A LOT for his job. I used to be terrified but now I'm just nervous. Like others, I'm ok until lights out. I leave a small lamp on downstairs so that it's not pitch-black. This sounds a bit looney but I put chairs in front of all the doors. Rationally I know it's not really keeping us any safer but it helps. I also have a big dog but she doesn't bark. She's like the dog in the story by James Harriott, "Only One Woof".

 

I hope you find a good solution!

 

Elise in NC

[Alicia64]

Large dog. See my avatar. This girl has actually passed on but the dog I have now is the same breed. When this dog died I was home alone while dh was working out of town. I quickly got another one because I did not sleep a wink. We were living in an isolated area, in the woods with no neighbor within an acre.

 

GREAT to know about the cell phone! Thank you! I mentioned above that I don't know how much my shepherd would bark. He's a relatively quiet dog.

 

But maybe if someone entered, he'd get upset.

 

Alley

[Saddlemomma]

My dog as an early warning system and then my gun. I also have my dd sleep with me so we're in the same room.

 

All these precautions because we are quite a ways away from any police.  We have no town sheriff and the only responders would be state police or border patrol.  We would probably have to take care of "whatever" before the cops ever arrived.

[bolt.]

Honestly, if someone breaks into your house, they will shout at you, make you cry and cower, probably threaten you, take your valuables and go.

 

Then you will call the police, make a report, and get a counsellor for a month or two.

 

Which is exactly what would happen if your DH was home (unless he's superman)... Because they really don't have any way to know when you are alone and when you are not. If they were any kind of strategic theives, they'd watch until no one was home.

 

Home invasion robberies are rare, but often traumatic, but, really, nowhere near as traumatic as being in a war, or growing up in an unstable country, or enduring a hurricane, or many traffic accidents. The world isn't safe, but you aren't made of fine china. If you ever are robbed while you happen to be home alone (aside from that being about as likely as getting hit by lightning) you'd recover.

 

So, yeah -- it's a phobia, not something that sounds like it can be reasoned with. These are the thoughts that "comfort" me, but my friends think I'm crazy. Hopefully they are not the kinds if thoughts that make you more frightened.

[gardenmom5]

I was going to say a big dog.

when my kids were small, and dh traveled more often, we had missionaries living with us for a year.  (which was nice, because about two months before they moved in - we had someone break in and assault me.  it was dinner time btw.)

 

Now - kids are big, dh doesn't travel much, but I still miss him when he's gone.  I end up staying up late.

[dirty ethel rackham]

 

Re: our shepherd. He just rarely barks. Occasionally he gets so excited to get breakfast or dinner that he barks. Or he barks if he thinks we're leaving him and going to a dog park without him. Otherwise he's very quiet.

 

 

What about when strangers come to the door?  Often, dogs feed off their owners fear and will be more alert when they sense anxiety in the owner.  My dog is super friendly to everyone.  However, if I feel anxious, he barks at strangers at the door.  If I am relaxed, he wags his tail and begs to be petted. 

 

As far as your fear is concerned, you may need to simply outline what you reasonable things you can do to be safer (great suggestions above.)  When you feel that fear coming up, outline in your head, what you have done to prevent intruders and work on deep breathing and relaxing. 

 

[Berta]

Honestly, if someone breaks into your house, they will shout at you, make you cry and cower, probably threaten you, take your valuables and go.

 

Then you will call the police, make a report, and get a counsellor for a month or two.

 

 

 

I don't think that is how it would go down in my house. I would hope it was the intruder that would cry and cower after I threatened to blow him to bits. Then, I would call the police so they could either take him to jail or draw a chalk line depending on the actions the intruder would decide to take.

 

I have unique circumstances where my 18 yr old has a stalker, so this is a very real fear in my house. I also have other security measures outside of my house such as a driveway alarm and security cameras.

[lexi]

We don't have a landline but have our alarm system set up through our cell phones.

 

I have a white noise app on my iPhone that I turn on.

 

We rent and we have a double deadbolt. I would ask landlord to put one on.

[Alicia64]

Honestly, if someone breaks into your house, they will shout at you, make you cry and cower, probably threaten you, take your valuables and go.

 

Then you will call the police, make a report, and get a counsellor for a month or two.

 

Which is exactly what would happen if your DH was home (unless he's superman)... Because they really don't have any way to know when you are alone and when you are not. If they were any kind of strategic theives, they'd watch until no one was home.

 

Home invasion robberies are rare, but often traumatic, but, really, nowhere near as traumatic as being in a war, or growing up in an unstable country, or enduring a hurricane, or many traffic accidents. The world isn't safe, but you aren't made of fine china. If you ever are robbed while you happen to be home alone (aside from that being about as likely as getting hit by lightning) you'd recover.

 

So, yeah -- it's a phobia, not something that sounds like it can be reasoned with. These are the thoughts that "comfort" me, but my friends think I'm crazy. Hopefully they are not the kinds if thoughts that make you more frightened.

 

Thank you for the blunt talk. The crazy thing is that we have nothing to steal. I'm afraid the dude would be mad about that. No jewelery. A couple of laptops and an ipod. Is that what they want??

 

Yeah, it's a phobia. I know. I just wondered what others did to get through this thing.

 

Thanks,

 

Alley

[chiguirre]

I sleep with a bathroom light on, but my 3am fears tend to be horror movie based instead of Nancy Grace based so ymmv.

[Pawz4me]

I would work on teaching your dog to "speak" on command.  Most catch on quickly.  Typically all it takes to scare away someone is a big dog (or a dog who sounds big) barking a time or two.

[bolt.]

I guess I basically berate myself for being a bit of an idiot and tell myself I might as well be worrying over lightning. Then I remind myself about the rate of traffic fatalities, and ask myself if I'm not afraid of that risk (since I drive daily, even knowing that rate), then if better pull myself together and be a bit more reasoned and logical about what I choose to fear.

[Dory]

Most people won't try and break into a house they haven't looked at a little bit (even just from the outside). If they know you have a large dog, it's doubtful that they would try because really, they just see large dog, they don't know whether it's a barker, or protective or not. People are terrified of my Dane even though she isn't a barker and loves everyone. They just see a big dog.

Go to some self defense classes, it might build your self confidence. Find a friend you can call in the evening that will help bring you down from your borderline panic.

 

Also, a fear like this is a little irrational and I might consider finding someone to talk to about it. 

 

 

[Catwoman]

I worry that my dog will be zero help -- even though he's a German shepherd. I think that unless they're trained they don't attack.

 

Alley

I think you may be quite mistaken about that. Even the friendliest dogs will very often become quite fierce when they feel that their families are being threatened.

[Janie Grace]

I agree that you should all but insist on deadbolts. That seems as basic as working heat to me! 

 

I hate going to bed when dh is away. I'm in the "stay up as late as humanly possible" camp. Then I really struggle the next day (sleep deprivation) so it's not exactly a great strategy. I have a big dog who would bark, so that helps.

[Susan in TN]

I leave lights on around the house and sleep with a long, very sharp bread knife in my nightstand.

[Rubix]

I just make sure I locked the doors, have a cell phone handy, and leave some lights on.  Sometimes the TV, with the sound off so I can hear anything!  I also know the combination for the gun safe, and how to use them.  I know the dog would react to anything, at least giving me time to grab the phone, get the kids, etc.  It doesn't need to be an attack dog to alert you to the fact that there is a problem.  Our dog is pretty protective of the kids and will bark if we rough house.  I think she would feel the danger. 

 

I say a little prayer too.  Sometimes I have the kids sleep with me :)  They enjoy the cuddle time, and I don't have to worry, even irrationally that someone could get to them before me. 

[Rubix]

I also really hope that while he is gone I will not see a centipede....because then I would have to explain the hotel bill :scared:

[justasque]

This sounds a bit looney but I put chairs in front of all the doors. 

 

On the one hand you want to prevent people from getting *in*, but at the same time you need to be able to get *out* in an emergency.  I'd be concerned that chairs in front of doors could prevent a speedy exit in case of a fire.  A deadbolt is probably a better choice.

[Farmgirl70]

I live in an urban neighborhood with a fair amount of crime.  My husband travels quite a bit.  (Gone two weeks this month).  I used to worry when he was gone, and I don't as much now.  Things that helped:

 

1.  Prayer and reminding myself that I am in God's hands.

2. Remembering that we have lived here for 16 years and have not been broken into yet.

3. Knowing that when neighbors were broken into, the robber took what they could quickly grab and left fast.  They did not want to harm or interact with people.  Losing stuff does not make me afraid--that I can replace, though it would be inconvenient.

4. Reminding myself that strangers never come to my door, unless it is around elections and that is in the middle of the day. (Or Jehovah's witnesses, also in the day and easy to identify.)

5. Locking doors early in the evening while it is still light.

6. Reminding myself again that God is with me.

7.  Keeping a little noise on.

 

Hope you can find a way to find peace and rest.

 

[Wildcat]

I had never heard of the house alarm going through the cell phone. I'm going to investigate that! I was going to say that another option is for the alarm to go through the internet to your computer.

 

OP, you have received some great ideas. I agree with those who say you should insist on deadbolts. Insist.

 

Are Tazers legal where you are? That's another option, as is mace. 

 

Phone by/in the bed.

 

Car keys w/fob near the bed--- I read that if you can activate your car alarm from your bed, that is also a deterrent.

 

Baseball bat or other 'heavy hitting object'. Odd, I know, but the more 'prepared' I am, the easier it is for me to get to sleep and stay that way.

 

Your dog may not bark, but may get 'antsy' at a strange noise. If you are like me, you sleep very light while your dh is away and any strange movement will awaken you.

 

While the fear may not be rational, it is common. It's the 'non-normalness' that takes some getting used to.  I also ask myself why would someone choose my house over any of the others, and I can't think of one thing. I'm in the middle of my subdivision, not on a main street, and not on a corner. Someone would have to actively *target* my house, which wouldn't make sense when there are many 'easier marks'. That helps me a bit.

 

I also find that when dh doesn't travel for a while, I don't sleep well the first few nights, but if he travels a lot, the next few nights/times I sleep a bit better as it becomes my 'new normal'. 

 

[Berta]

I had never heard of the house alarm going through the cell phone. I'm going to investigate that! I was going to say that another option is for the alarm to go through the internet to your computer.

 

OP, you have received some great ideas. I agree with those who say you should insist on deadbolts. Insist.

 

Are Tazers legal where you are? That's another option, as is mace. 

 

Phone by/in the bed.

 

Car keys w/fob near the bed--- I read that if you can activate your car alarm from your bed, that is also a deterrent.

 

Baseball bat or other 'heavy hitting object'. Odd, I know, but the more 'prepared' I am, the easier it is for me to get to sleep and stay that way.

 

Your dog may not bark, but may get 'antsy' at a strange noise. If you are like me, you sleep very light while your dh is away and any strange movement will awaken you.

 

While the fear may not be rational, it is common. It's the 'non-normalness' that takes some getting used to.  I also ask myself why would someone choose my house over any of the others, and I can't think of one thing. I'm in the middle of my subdivision, not on a main street, and not on a corner. Someone would have to actively *target* my house, which wouldn't make sense when there are many 'easier marks'. That helps me a bit.

 

I also find that when dh doesn't travel for a while, I don't sleep well the first few nights, but if he travels a lot, the next few nights/times I sleep a bit better as it becomes my 'new normal'. 

 

I don't want to sound like the voice of doom but MANY home invasions are not targeted. Every day I read about someone high on drugs that finds the easiest mark. An unlocked door is a very common way to get robbed. A friend of a friend was in her livingroom, reading a book in the middle of the day and a drugged out crazy man walked right through the front door, dragged down and raped her. I don't think in this day and age it's irrational to think something can happen. Chances are it won't, but why let your guard down?

 

Someone else mentioned outdoor lights on a sensor and this is an awesome deterrent. Someone that IS targeting your house does not want to be seen or heard.

 

I have one of these little boxes that you plug in and from the outside it looks like a tv is turned on. It REALLY does look like it. I bought it for $25 on ebay. http://www.faketv.com/

[Wildcat]

I don't want to sound like the voice of doom but MANY home invasions are not targeted. Every day I read about someone high on drugs that finds the easiest mark. An unlocked door is a very common way to get robbed. A friend of a friend was in her livingroom, reading a book in the middle of the day and a drugged out crazy man walked right through the front door, dragged down and raped her. I don't think in this day and age it's irrational to think something can happen. Chances are it won't, but why let your guard down?

 

Someone else mentioned outdoor lights on a sensor and this is an awesome deterrent. Someone that IS targeting your house does not want to be seen or heard.

 

I have one of these little boxes that you plug in and from the outside it looks like a tv is turned on. It REALLY does look like it. I bought it for $25 on ebay. http://www.faketv.com/

 

Oh, I didn't want to minimize the potential danger (and you do not sound like the voice of doom!  :001_smile:  )... I, too, read the news, and it is scary! Someone a stone's throw from my house was randomly targeted (daylight), so I, too, know just how easily it can happen.

 

All I meant by what I said was that I am at no greater risk than anyone else in my subdivision, and *that* thought helps me.  I don't make myself or my home a target, I have the motion lights, a dog, a  weapon, yadda, yadda, but the thought that my house isn't a 'hey rob me not them' target eases my nerves a bit. We aren't on the 'exit street', aren't near the front of the subdivision, don't have fancy anything to attract criminals, etc. In my odd way of thinking, that my house is 'just one in a crowd of many' eases my mind as much as having the phone nearby, the dog ready to awaken, the alarm ready to go off, etc. The cumulative piece-of-mind effect is what I am after. :thumbup:

 

Sorry if my post sounded too cavalier or too minimizing. I should have been a bit more clear.

 

[jeninok]

I worry that my dog will be zero help -- even though he's a German shepherd. I think that unless they're trained they don't attack.

 

Alley

The simple presence of a large dog is a pretty big deterrent for most people considering breaking into a house. A large barking dog is even more of a deterrent.  

 

 

A GSD is an even bigger deterrent than either of those alone, combine all three, and even if she/he is the biggest marshmallow in the world, it is quite a bit of security just having him in the house. 

 

When my DH is traveling one dog sleeps in bed with me, and the other sleeps across my bedroom door, my son also tends to get in bed with us. The dogs only sleep this way when he is gone, so they are at least somewhat aware of the different dynamic with him gone, and put themselves in a more protective position.  They also bark more, and seem more alert overall.   They most likely wouldn't do more than sound an alarm, but that makes me feel better than I would otherwise. 

[Alicia64]

A friend of a friend was in her livingroom, reading a book in the middle of the day and a drugged out crazy man walked right through the front door, dragged down and raped her. I don't think in this day and age it's irrational to think something can happen. Chances are it won't, but why let your guard down?

 

 

Please say this didn't happen in a super safe part of the world.

 

Wildcat: I completely understood what you were saying. I often think the same thing when I'm driving around town. There are so many homes: why would I get targetted?

 

But I also get what Berta is saying too. I love the fake TV. Come to think of it, I think my neighbors have one.

 

Alley

[NorthwestMom]

Regarding the dog - my uncle lived in a TERRIBLE neighborhood and he kept a trained doberman for protection.  When his home DID get broken into - twice while he was home, once on Christmas morning - he kept his dog locked in a room with him because he loved the dog and was afraid that the intruder would immediately shoot him. Both times the intruder grabbed stuff to pawn and quickly left. My uncle and the dog never laid eyes on whoever came in either time.

 

We did get an alarm system due to my anxiety when my DH travels, and it is worth every last penny.

[Alicia64]

The simple presence of a large dog is a pretty big deterrent for most people considering breaking into a house. A large barking dog is even more of a deterrent.  

 

 

A GSD is an even bigger deterrent than either of those alone, combine all three, and even if she/he is the biggest marshmallow in the world, it is quite a bit of security just having him in the house. 

 

When my DH is traveling one dog sleeps in bed with me, and the other sleeps across my bedroom door, my son also tends to get in bed with us. The dogs only sleep this way when he is gone, so they are at least somewhat aware of the different dynamic with him gone, and put themselves in a more protective position.  They also bark more, and seem more alert overall.   They most likely wouldn't do more than sound an alarm, but that makes me feel better than I would otherwise. 

 

That sounds cozy! Do you have a GSD too. Yes, he's very sweet and I'm afraid he'd be hiding behind me.

 

Alley

 

[Snow]

What I've started doing is just pretending it is daytime. I close my eyes and imagine my room during the day. I imagine as many details as I can about what my room looks like in the day; how each corner has a slightly different light, etc. And I think about how cozy and wonderful it is to take a nap in the day time...how safe I feel, how I rarely question my safety during the day. And I just float there in that space in my head for a while pretending I'm just taking a nap in the day. It has seemed to help a little.

[Liz CA]

My solutions are primarily psychological for my own ability to sleep.  I don't live in a high crime area and in the daytime don't worry about my safety.  

 

Same here! I know that anyone can shoot a dog first but it just helped to have an animal with much better hearing than mine, keen sense of smell and sharp teeth on my side.

[Liz CA]

That sounds cozy! Do you have a GSD too. Yes, he's very sweet and I'm afraid he'd be hiding behind me.

 

Alley

 

 

You may actually be surprised to see your dog in action. I had never seen our mastiff girl in any but a sweet, compliant mood until someone came to the door whom she mistrusted. She jumped up (she was as big as a person while on her hind legs) and bared her teeth through the narrow window next to the front door. This was quite an eye opener for me - and him, I imagine.

[jeninok]

That sounds cozy! Do you have a GSD too. Yes, he's very sweet and I'm afraid he'd be hiding behind me.

 

Alley

 

 

No, I have a Black and Tan Coonhound, who has a scary deep bark, but loves all people equally, and a Red Heeler mix, who looks like a teddy bear but fancies herself a sheriff and is very territorial. The coonhound is often mistaken for a Doberman with uncropped ears and tail, I generally let the misconception stand.

 

The Heeler is a bit of B*^%$*&, I had men coming by in an unmarked meat van once a month or so, it weirded me out since DS and I are the only ones home on our street during the day.  The last time I opened the front door, let her go roaring out to the fence line and she slammed both her front feet up on the railing, had a full mohawk, and was acting like Cujo.   I just stood on the porch and yelled at them that we were Vegan. 

 

The man backed away slowly from the fence and has not been back.  They really do put on a good show, she is a muffin to everyone she knows, but strangers that make me uncomfortable are enough to get them to bark, especially her. 

[Chelli]

My dh doesn't travel very often but when he does I am super irrational about the same fear. I usually sleep only a few hours the first night he's gone because I keep thinking I hear something or my fear gets the better of me.

 

Here are a few things I do that help:
 

1) All the kids sleep with me. If something happens intruder, fire, etc. I want my babies with me so that we can escape or be protected together. I would worry more if I was safe in my room, but they were in their rooms.

 

2) Dh always leaves me the revolver in case I need it.

 

3) I never watch mysteries or suspenseful movies or TV shows while he's gone. Nor do I read books from this genre either.

 

4) I make sure all the doors and windows are locked before I go to bed.

 

We also live in a really good neighborhood, but our neighbors behind us have had their home broken into three times by the same man. He is finally in jail, but he had a disturbing infatuation with them and continued returning to their home. It has made me aware that you never know what kind of people are in the world so it's best to be prepared.

[Berta]

Please say this didn't happen in a super safe part of the world.

 

Wildcat: I completely understood what you were saying. I often think the same thing when I'm driving around town. There are so many homes: why would I get targetted?

 

But I also get what Berta is saying too. I love the fake TV. Come to think of it, I think my neighbors have one.

 

Alley

 

This happened about 4 months ago in an upscale neighborhood in Maryland. This is a friend of a friend, both who are very anti-gun. Obviously, I am very pro-gun. My friend has called me paranoid for always being armed and I know one thing, if someone had walked through my door while I was relaxing on the couch, I would have had my firearm right there and it may have lessened the chance of being raped. No one will ever know for sure, I'd bet it might have changed the outcome if she had immediate access to a firearm.