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DD has an 11cm x 12 cm vascularized tumor on her ovary. My head is swimming. Help

FaithManor

By FaithManor,
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FaithManor

FaithManor

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She had her MRI and bloodwork today. It will be two or three days before we get the final results and recommendations.

 

She and her fiance are going to be married quietly with just a couple of witnesses in the pastor's office on Thursday so that he has some legal rights and can help take care of her. My dad is being turfed WAY TOO SOON from the hospital, as in tomorrow morning and they only just weaned him of the mega doses of pain meds and only just got him out of bed for the first time, but they think "no problem" for my 69 year old mother to care for him when he can barely move. Sigh....and no, medicare won't pay for a nurse or nurse's aide in the home despite the surgeon's request. They simply aren't going to pay for another day in the hospital under any circumstances period. I heard one nurse in the hallway say to another that medicare was determined that he either left alive or dead, made no difference to them, as long as he left when they said to! I didn't blame her for making the comment, but it sure made me want to rain brimstone down on the talking bobbleheads that make these arbitrary policies and then force hospitals to abide by them.

 

So, I'm going to have my hands full since my sister has to go back to work on Thursday or Friday at the latests and my brother is genuinely useless when it comes to medical things. He'll mow the lawn, or run for a grocery item, or pick something up at the pharmacy...but do a night shift on the couch and help dad to and from the bathroom or make sure he gets his heart and pain meds at the right time???? Ha....dad would be dead....I love my brother D, but the one thing he should absolutely, positively, never do is work in the medical profession. I'll assign the occasional pratical thing for him to do so he can feel as though he is helping, but otherwise mom and I will be on our own with MIL coming and going since she's a retired nurse with mega experience. She is 78 now though and just doesn't have the stamina to do any night shift stuff or any lifting.

 

Therefore, since I have to be torn between my dad and my daughter and dh has to take the rocket team to D.C., I am grateful my son-in-law will be on deck to take tender loving care of her. It helps me feel like this whole, insane situation will somehow be manageable.

 

Since my parents home is single bathroom, and son in law had an asthma attack after coming in contact with our cat (his allergies were already frightfully riled up before he got here because he lives in his parents' basement and they have black mold), we needed another place for a reccuperating patient. A cat free place and one close by so I don't have a lot of traveling to get between them. A very, very dear friend has a MIL bungalow/guesthouse on her farm that is currently without occupant and has never had pets in it. She graciously offered the house to the kids. So, after the quick marriage ceremony, they can move in there. He should be healthier and she will only be 3 miles from us. They can stay the whole summer rent free. The farm is practically off grid due to an extensive solar electrical system. I cannot say how grateful I am for my dear friend and her husband. They really bailed the kids out of having to find an apartment and live farther away.

 

If dd has the surgery right away and the docs are fairly assured she will be reasonably on her feet for June 1st, then we are still going ahead with the big celebration. If not, then it will be postponed until late August.

 

Tomorrow - rocket team practice launches at 7:00 a.m. which means I'll be out of bed by 5:30. Afterwards, go over to mom and dad's and do some furniture rearranging. Come back and teach algebra 1, geometry, algebra 2, physical science, chemistry, and go over a zoology study guide with third son who also needs a little help with a genetics section in his biology. Call it quits on homeschooling for the day except reading assignments, and Great Courses video lectures. Get over to the Moose Lodge to set up for the pancake supper benefit for the rocket team. Come back and help mom and sis get dad settled. Go over doctor's orders. Go back to the Moose Lodge and help cook 400 - 500 pancakes, 300 sausage links, etc. Watch team practice their presentation. Clean up Moose Lodge. Go home and do necessary documentation of the event for 4-H. Figure up their money and inform parents of whether or not the kids raise enough to pay for everything or if more needs to be contributed. Fall into bed.

 

Wednesday - Get up early and go to mom and dad's to take a 5 a.m. - 9 a.m. shift with dad. Back to house to homeschool boys. Put something in the crockpot that will entice dad's appetite and be enough to feed my family plus R, M, mom, dad, and sis. Back to mom and dad's for supper and four hr. shift. Go home, reintroduce myself to dh and say, "You look familiar. Have we met before?" Deal with some science fair info that has to go out for the county next week. Fall into bed.

 

Not even thinking about Thursday. I figure if I make it that far and am still functioning well, I'll be okay!

 

Faith

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elfgivas

elfgivas

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oh my faith.... its a lot.

 

dh and i got married three weeks before our wedding due to medical issues, and it was the best thing!

i am so glad they thought of that.

 

 

did you know that it is medical emergency break week in your house? and that it is actually okay for you to not teach at all for the next two days? really, it is....

 

ann

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Starr

Starr

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:grouphug: First things first, another :grouphug: . I thought about your dd getting married soon. I'm glad that's a good option for them. You can relax a little there. As for all the nursing of dad, be strong! If something isn't going right take him back to the hospital. They'll likely readmit him with his diagnosis.

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J-rap

J-rap

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I'm sorry your family -- especially your daughter -- is going through all of this. I'm glad that she and her fiance decided on the quiet ceremony this week. I think that will help give everyone some peace. My daughter and her husband married in a quiet civil ceremony a month and a half before their church wedding for safety reasons. I couldn't be there because it was out of the country, but everything worked out and all is good!

 

Will continue praying for you all!

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unsinkable

unsinkable

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Drop the school. Take care of your precious family. And yourself, they need you, too! We are praying for you during this very difficult and stressful time.

 

 

I agree. Your post sounds frantic, understandably so.

 

You need to cut back to the absolute essentials and pass off as many tasks as you can to others.

 

You posted many times about how you helped others, I'm sure the others will be honored to help you now.

 

Good luck with everything!

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thescrappyhomeschooler

thescrappyhomeschooler

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Faith,

 

I don't know if you remember my posts. Exactly 7 months ago today, I had emergency surgery because of a large ovarian cyst that had caused a torsion. Mine did turn out to be malignant, but MOST of them are not. They were pretty surprised that mine was. Anyway, even after going through all that, I'm doing great now. And your daughter is young and otherwise healthy, which will really make things go much better. If you want to pm me about anything, please feel free to do so. There were several people here who offered me private advice during my ordeal, and it helped me tremendously.

 

I think your daughter is making a wise decision to have a quiet ceremony beforehand. What a smart young woman. She will be fine by June, most likely anyway, but doing something proactive is a way to keep control over things that seem out of control.

 

I'm sorry for the struggles with your father. Please release yourself from some of your responsibilities. You will wear yourself out.

 

Praying for you and your daughter and your whole family.

 

Lynne

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jenL

jenL

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I haven't been on the boards much lately, so I'm just seeing all this now. I am so very sorry for all of it. My heart breaks for you since you and your dd have always been so inspirational. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. May God bless all of you. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

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SunnyDays

SunnyDays

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Wow. Sweetie, you're going to fall over if something doesn't give. Let school go for the week. Really. If they must do something, let them do the readings and video lectures. Science and math will still be there next week.

 

I'm glad DD is having a quiet ceremony this week. It does bring some piece of mind, and I'm sure it will be a lovely bright spot in an otherwise difficult week.

 

Many hugs to all of you!! Please take care of yourself, and keep us posted.

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creekland

creekland

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How are things going, Faith? I've been praying for you...

 

I fully agree it's time to call it Spring Break for school unless someone has AP tests coming up. If so, just concentrate on those until May. Any of the rest can wait. It's ok to catch up in the summer and take time off now. You've got enough going on and don't need to overstress your body. Ok, so your body might already be overstressed, but it could be a little less overstressed...

 

:grouphug:

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FaithManor

FaithManor

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How are things going, Faith? I've been praying for you...

 

I fully agree it's time to call it Spring Break for school unless someone has AP tests coming up. If so, just concentrate on those until May. Any of the rest can wait. It's ok to catch up in the summer and take time off now. You've got enough going on and don't need to overstress your body. Ok, so your body might already be overstressed, but it could be a little less overstressed...

 

:grouphug:

 

 

Yup, AP's coming up. One for each boy. I can't let their brains get mushy. So, we keep on keeping on and then there is the rocket team. Last night we had their pancake dinner benefit. It went really well and they will be able to go to Washington D.C. I'm just wiped out though. Two other cooks and I made 650 pancakes plus 300 sausage links, scrambled 10 dozen eggs, and made hashbrowns out of 15 lbs. of potatoes. Most of the parents helped with serving and cleaning, but one family did absolutely nothing and ditched everyone else without lifting a finger to help clean the hall. We'll be having a talk about that. Well, actually dh will because in my current frame of mind, diplomacy is at an all time low.

 

I am VERY thankful that my personal physician pulled some strings, got a second opinion up to see dad, and that doc went ballistic on medicare. As a result, dad did not come home yesterday. We'll see if he is strong enough today.

 

We are still waiting on dd's MRI and bloodwork reports. So, I don't think she'll be getting any surgery this week. If it is not cancer, she has made the decision that she won't have surgery until after the wedding unless another organ is being terribly endangered by the tumor. She cracks me up! She told the doc that they have to save it for her because she's going to take it home and dissect it with her younger brother - middle boy the biologist/zoologist who never met any dead thing yet that he would NOT want to dissect. This completely grosses out her fiance. Dear, dear son-in-law....did you not know what you were getting yourself into before you handed her that ring????

 

So, we'll see. If she isn't having anything done before the wedding, maybe, just maybe I'll get to go with the rocket team if my MIL and dd can handle dad. DD has five days off next week while I would be gone and she is currently feeling physically pretty decent all things considered and really wants to help care for him. Son in law will be staying through the weekend and then will be back in PA sorting his things, getting rid of a bunch, moving some of his clothes to his aunt's house in NJ because he's going to live there for two months after the wedding while he completes his paid internship with Lockheed Martin, and decides what is coming here.

 

I just need to remain focused. I do think that after the initial shock and just rush of planning that needed to take place so we had our bases covered, that I am doing better. It also helps me that if she does have to have immediate surgery, M will take over her care when she comes home from the hospital. That is a big relief. I do believe he will take excellent care of her, and I know my MIL will check in regularly on the medical end. My limbo now is that I feel like we need to know for certain one way or another so we can inform guests if the event is being postponed. But, this need does not make medical tests get read and reported on any faster nor does it get docs to call each other and come to conclusions either. Hurry up and wait...that is what I am struggling with right now.

 

I have not been to the gym in over a week. I realized I feel physically very dragged out and that I miss my work out. I have decided to carve out time today for that and make it a priority.

 

Dh holds me up. I am so thankful for him that words aren't enough.

 

I'll check back in again in a few days.

 

Thank you everyone for your continued support. It means a lot to me!

 

Faith

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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She has an MRI on Monday and emergency surgery has soon as an OR is open afterward.

 

My dad is stick in the critical care cardiology unit due ti atrial fib.

 

I am just trying to breath. Her finance is on the way and dad is not stable so I

can't leave the hospital. Tell me what you know. Talk me off the ledge.

 

Her surgeon insists she is going to deliver dd in good shape for wedding June 1st.

I have my doubts.

 

Faith

 

 

Oh my you are overwhelmed! Hugs and prayers.

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