I got a neighbor who is basically questioning me about

[happycc]

a few things...

 

one---socialization of the kids

two---I am making the kids clean too much and they do too much adult stuff

(They are not pro homeschooling at all.)

 

So tell me what chores do your 11 and 9yrs old kids do?

 

My kids.....

do the dishes-wash, place in dishwasher and unload

do the laundry-they have loaded, started the wash, transfered clothes, sorted and delivered clothes

sweep and mop kitchen floors-

take out garbage and bring in garbage and recycling cans

they also help change baby;s diaper and entertaining the preschooler ( I farm one kid out to hang out with the preschooler while I work with the other kids).

 

Do you have any articles I can these neighbors?

[PachiSusan]

I have a very short and sweet answer: My parenting choices are not up for discussion.

[Lara in Colo]

I have a very short and sweet answer: My parenting choices are not up for discussion.

 

 

 

ditto.

 

Do NOT try to justify your decisions. No one will listen anyway.

[jeninok]

My 11 year old does all those things except playing/helping with younger siblings, he does however feed the cats and dogs, help with litter boxes, do some yard work with DH, and help me with other cleaning like dusting or arranging books.

 

I've been told that he does too much, and also not enough from various people. I am content with our choices and the kid has Plenty (too much) down time to hang out with friends,play video games, stare at the ceiling in utter boredom, and whatever else it is 11 year holds do.

[PachiSusan]

I forgot to answer the other part of your question. I have a 10 year old. She loads/unloads the dishwasher, sets/clears the table. She cleans her own room. She helps Daddy weed outside. She tidies rooms but I don't give her any deep cleaning with cleansers/chemicals yet. She vacuums. SHe helps carry in and put away the groceries.

[lillybell]

Yup, none of her beeswax. Your home, your rules, your children. Her opinion is just that, her opinion. We all have our own style of parenting depending on our unique household situation. She may think you give your children too many chores and you may think the opposite about hers. Tell her to just leave it at that, agree to disagree.

 

My girls are pretty lazy. Wish they helped with more but they help only when I am up to my neck in stuff and I have to come tell them what to do. They load/unload dishwasher, do their own laundry, hang and fold clothes, take out trash, clean their own rooms and they have at times when I am too busy, cut the lawn and weed. We used to have a chore chart to keep up but was hard to keep up with that and schedule planning so I gave up on it. Now, I just call them to help when it gets to be too much for me.

[BugsMama]

I'd be pretty ticked off that they were watching my kids and home closely enough to come up with that criticism. Shut your blinds and tell them its not their concern. :D

[Jean in Newcastle]

Your chores do not seem excessive. I agree, that your education choices and home life are none of your neighbor's business. Why would they even know what chores your kids do anyway? And no, I would not recommend giving them any books or articles. If they were your mother, I might. But even then, it really isn't any one else's business than you and your husband's.

[Khselee]

"My parenting choices are not up for discussion," is gold. Keep it and use it.

 

Also, my 8 year old:

-sets the table for meals, clears the table, and rinses the plates for the dishwasher

-unloads the utensil trays (the only reason not the dishes is because he cannot reach them easily.)

-sorts, loads, and switches laundry, and puts away his own.

-takes out the garbage during daylight hours.

-tidying in his bedroom daily

-tidying his bathroom daily, and cleaning it weekly (I get the other bathrooms.)

 

along with sundry other tasks as situations arise, so your children are in good company.

[lewelma]

My kids get 4 main jobs that represent what I want them to learn. DS12 does:

 

1) Cleaning: vacuum house on Fridays

2) Cooking: cook dinner on Mondays

3) Planning: plan his meal and his father's meal each week - choose recipe, write list, check pantry, make do with what's on hand, study prices in store, and put items in his own basket

4) Irregular job: folds all laundry (we dry outside so it is weather dependent)

 

He earns $4 for these 4 jobs. Yes, I am cheap!

 

Ruth in NZ

[IrishMum]

I have a very short and sweet answer: My parenting choices are not up for discussion.

Totally!!

 

 

 

My 4 boys help with ALL the housework. They make most of the mess, so why shouldn't they help clean it? As a family we share all the tasks involved in running out home.

Here is what my 11 year old does.

 

Once a week, on different days.

Dusts and cleans woodwork.

Cleans each of 3 bathrooms, one a day

Washes windows/cleans garden/weeds/various occasional tasks

 

Each day.

Peels veggies for dinner.

Folds laundry for 6 people, and puts it away. This takes longer than it sounds.

Picks up poo from our two dogs.

Empties trash.

Keeps own bedroom spotless.

And anything else I need help with day to day.

[delaney]

I would say that they don't do any chore because that would require them to get up from the TV and wipe the Cheetoh dust off their fingers.

[G5052]

Yes, politely state that you appreciate the feedback, but that your parenting choices have been made thoughtfully. Change the subject, and don't bring up parenting issue with her if you can help it.

 

I have neighbor who was like this, and I became like a broken record with that reply. It took awhile, but she stopped making such comments. We watch each other's houses when we're gone, and she's fine now. She now asks what they're studying and is genuinely supportive.

[Momof3littles]

We have this a bit in our neighborhood too with one friend. She's vehemently anti HSing, particularly because she was born in a country where HSing is illegal, and she's now student teaching in the US. There are things about her parenting that aren't my cup of tea, but I keep them to myself. I wish she'd do the same. And for a while, I pulled back because I felt it was disrespectful. She was working a comment into every conversation about how she disagrees with HSing.

 

My kids do a lot to help and are expected to pitch in with regular chores and things I ask them to do. My neighbors gripe about their own kids playing video games all day and never seeing the sun, but yet, they don't shut the games off or require chores. I suspect they think we are hard on our kids because yes, my 9yo takes the trashcans to the curb and brings them back once empty. He cleans his room, dusts his room, etc. He and my 6yo set the table. They do some vacuuming if they make a mess. The 9 yo sometimes has to vacuum his room. They take their sheets off their beds, and the 9 yo puts clean ones back on. One child feeds the dog, one walks him. If they make a mess, they are expected to clean it up. They work together to clean their own bathroom (I help with the heavier cleaning, but once a week I have them wipe down the bathroom counter, wipe down the mirror and toilet.

 

We also have neighbors across the street in their 70s, and at first they were appalled when my children were outside during the day ;) Now they know us and know our kids, and they seem very supportive. I think they like seeing our kids do chores and help out, so what probably annoys one set of neighbors has appeased another set LOL.

[Arboreal TJ]

My 6 years olds are expected to help/do most of the things you mentioned. They have even taken the initiative to help their toddler sister in the bathroom.

 

Tell your neighbors they should thank you for raising the next generation of productive citizens!

[boscopup]

My 8 and 6 year olds do most of that and have to haul hay from the hay loft (they like climbing up there - I don't). They'd be feeding the animals the hay too, if they were big enough to put the hay in the feeder! They help weed the flower beds, help pick up sticks around the yard before their dad mows. They'll be mowing the yard once they're old/big enough (that will be a while, of course). They have to pick up their toys daily - their mess, they clean it! They sometimes dust, clean sinks and toilets (my 6 year old LOVES cleaning the toilet :confused1: ), wash windows, etc. They help with dinner. My 3 year old was putting away ingredients for me last night. So sweet. :)

 

Physical work is good for kids. I'd go with Susan's response in post #2. ;)

[WishboneDawn]

Do you have any articles I can these neighbors?

 

 

It's a trap! :)

 

Don't share articles. Don't share anything. If they bring up homeschooling or chores say, "I'm not discussing that," and change the subject.

 

Mine tidy the main rooms, sweep, clean bathrooms and windows, bring in firewood, look after the animals.

[AdventureMoms]

I don't have kids old enough to do much, but by my math that's about an hour and a half a day, total, so 45 mins - an hour tops - per child (not counting playing with a sibling). That seems totally reasonable for anyone. It doesn't sound as if you are making them do so many chores they never get to play.

 

FWIW, I look forward to my three being old enough to do actual productive chores! I could do with some help, and its good for them to contribute!

[Alessandra]

a few things...

 

one---socialization of the kids

two---I am making the kids clean too much and they do too much adult stuff

(They are not pro homeschooling at all.)

 

So tell me what chores do your 11 and 9yrs old kids do?

 

My kids.....

do the dishes-wash, place in dishwasher and unload

do the laundry-they have loaded, started the wash, transfered clothes, sorted and delivered clothes

sweep and mop kitchen floors-

take out garbage and bring in garbage and recycling cans

they also help change baby;s diaper and entertaining the preschooler ( I farm one kid out to hang out with the preschooler while I work with the other kids).

 

Do you have any articles I can these neighbors?

 

 

I would be cautious about what I say. It may be that your neighbors are genuinely concerned. Maybe there have been news item about abused kids recently -- often a common thread is that neighbors did nothing. So they could be coming from that point of view. Or maybe your neighbors picture themselves giving a TV interview while CPS raids your home in the background.

 

Some things that occur to me:

-- Boy Scout Family Life merit badge (a requirement for Eagle) requires a lot of chores.

-- Girl Scouts used to have badges that required girls to sew thier own clothes, cure a ham, etc.

-- Scouts, many churches, and even some schools require community service with chore-like activities.

-- Little House on the Prairie TV series had chores (but I would not use the phrase 'old fashioned' because some will associate with whipping.

-- Big families are different, more sharing of work (Duggars???).

 

I have seen articles in mainstream publications ('My son's college roommate couldn't load a dishwasher, make a salad...."). Sorry, don't have any links.

[Lizzie in Ma]

I wouldn't respond and I certainly wouldn't give details or defend myself. I'd be more like, "how nice for you that you have an opinion, have a good day".

[Momof3littles]

It's a trap! :)

 

Don't share articles. Don't share anything. If they bring up homeschooling or chores say, "I'm not discussing that," and change the subject.

 

Mine tidy the main rooms, sweep, clean bathrooms and windows, bring in firewood, look after the animals.

 

Exactly. Don't try to engage. I think it tends to send the message that this is up for debate. Defending your position makes you look defensive. I'd just stick with a pat reply that you give every. single. time. the topic comes up. "Thanks, but my parenting decisions are not up for discussion. Pass the bean dip, thanks." :)

[JuanitaL]

I'd be pretty ticked off that they were watching my kids and home closely enough to come up with that criticism. Shut your blinds and tell them its not their concern. :D

 

I think I would also be mad at such close scrutiny of our homelife. I wouldn't shut my blinds though; I like the sunlight, and that may give the indication I'm doing something I need to hide. I may just start mumbling about "voyeuristic tendencies" and "calling the police on peeping toms" "what else do you like to watch us do?". Someone who makes those kinds of unsolicited comments doesn't sound like a friend, and someone who makes those kinds of unsolicited comments doesn't sound as if they're all that interested in keeping neighborhood peace - so neither one of those potential objections would sway me.

[JFSinIL]

Smile sweetly and ask why she wants to know - your children can only do chores at home, they are not allowed to work for the neighbors.Then again - part of simply being a good PARENT, not just a home schooler, is teaching the kids responsibility. Chores are important. Answer her that way - you think it important that children learn responsibility and how to help run a home as part of crucial life skills. They'd have the same chores even if they went to public school.

[Alessandra]

The American Academy of Pediatrics says:

 

These daily chores and responsibilities are an important part of learning that life requires work, not just play.

 

Children need to have some obligations and duties within the family, or they will not learn to accept responsibility. In unstructured home environments, or in families that are very permissive and where little is expected of children, youngsters are losing out on some valuable learning experiences, and their development of a sense of responsibility and initiative may not happen until later in life, if ever.

 

http://www.healthych... No local token

 

It seems that you are in good company. :-)

[cdrumm4448]

Your neighbors would probably have a stroke if they saw my 11-year-old (who started when he was 10!) cutting our lawn with the riding mower. I am usually out there when he does it, and as soon as you stand up the motor stops. Infantilizing children is why we have generations of people who can't do anything. DS just told me the other day he can't wait for warmer weather to come, as my husband will begin work outside. They need to cut down a tree and chop it up, figure out how to get the stump out and refill the hole, pull weeds, clear brush from winter, trim and cut stuff back, and start growing things in pots. We also need to clean out the garage, price a ton of garage sale items and transport them to the farm for storage, and probably repaint the house. DS want to be in on ALL of that, and who am I to stop his normal, natural development and interests. He won't be running the chainsaw, but he can learn.

 

My kids also empty and fill the dishwasher, get the mail, walk the neighbor's dog, clean my car, dust, clean the bathrooms occasionally, vacuum, clean the basement, stain the swing set and anything else I can teach them to do. I just bought two DVDs just for kids to walk them through preparing complete meals. I buy them the ingredients, then they take it from there. I am working up to each of them taking a night to cook dinner.

[grantmeawish]

My 7 year old does many of those chores and as soon as he can i will have him do more. We are a family and we expect everyone to help out. That's life. There will always be work to do. This is what I tell my kids. My grandparents grew up on farms and their chores were much more labor intensive. In my view, we have it easy.

[mom2bee]

With the exception of cleaning up after the dog (we never had one) I haven't see the chore on this entire thread that wasn't expected of me when I was 8yos. I was home-schooled and all my of home schooled and public schooled friends had a similar workload. We had the biggest yard so our yard work had a longer checklist beneath it, but still.

 

Sounds like you have a lovely neighbor, does she like bean dip? Bean dip is very good for helping one to digest their own obnoxious curiosity.

[Ellie]

Resist the urge to educate, mollify, or justify yourself to nosy neighbors. Just smile and change the subject. That's what "pass the bean dip" means, since you're relatively new here and might not have read Joanne's article.

 

Don't even try to justify what you're doing to yourself. You already did that when you decided to homeschool in the first place. :-)

[Deee]

DS12 has been responsible for mowing the lawn since he was 10. This is a weekly job here in summer. He found a whipper-snipper (I think thats Australian for weed wacker), fixed it and now uses that to do the edges. He also mows my mothers lawn (large) once a month. He's had a couple of paid jobs lawn mowing, too. He sweeps the verandahs, empties the bins and recycling, feeds the dog, helps me with the shopping, unloads the dishwasher, occassionally vacuums, and is responsible for the cleanliness of his own room, including daily bedmaking. Sometimes he irons. And I complain that he doesn't do enough. One day he's going to have to look after his own house. He won't learn how by sitting on his bum watching me do all the work.

D

[Tarreymere]

Woiw, what kind of intrusive psychos do you live near?

 

I wouldn't be able to reply politely to that one, between laughing hysterically and all the four letter words that come to mind........

 

I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but my kids do more chores than yours and the adult ones mostly turned out okay :)

[*Lulu*]

I have a policy of only really anwering questioning when I know it is coming from a place of curiosity or genuine concern. (I can handle being an ambasador for homeschooling in small doses.) Questioning loaded with judgment or coming from someone who just wants to prove thier point gets some bean dip. (Love PachiSusan's response!) When I am not sure which kind it is I ask, "why do you ask?", because it puts the ball back in thier court and allows me to ascertain what the motive behind the question is.

 

As far as chores goes, you are not asking too much at all. If it makes you feel better here is my 10yo's list.

 

Daily:

Make bed (which in reality just looks like pick your bedding and pillows up from the ground)

Care for animals

Pick up after yourself

Help fold laundry (everyone folds thier own clothes and helps with the other loads)

Help with supper (one day a week he cooks. On the other days he rotates setting, clearing, and dishes with the rest of us)

 

Weekly (he does about one a day of this group):

Help clean the kitchen (floors, cabinet fronts, scrub sink)

Help clean the living room (straighten and either vacuume or dust)

Help clean the bathroom (everything except the mirror and tub)

Help clean the school room and the office (either dust or vacuume)

Clean his room (dust and vacuume)

Take the trash to the curb

Help with yard work

Help with the deep cleaning on Saturday

 

The deal around here is that we all live here and we all work together to take care of this place. We stress to our kids that that is part of being a family. Everyone gets the place dirty, so everyone pitches in to keep it clean. Even DH when he is home.

 

When we had a family crisis and I had to be away for almost two weeks my kids were able to help DH keep this place almost as clean as if I was here. They all picked up my slack because they knew how to do most jobs at at least a basic level and because they have internalized, at least thie older ones, that covering for each other sometimes is part of being a family. I would be sorely tempted to tell anyone who has a problem with teaching kids to be responsible and that they can have an impact beyond just themselves to stuff it.

 

Yeah, stick with PachiSusan's response; you'll feel much classier. :p

[amsunshine]

I agree with the other posters who say just don't engage. Smile and wave. "Isn't it lovely weather we're having?"

 

If it makes you feel better, I have a 9 and 11 yr old. They do all the chores you listed, except for the changing of the baby (because we don't have one), plus more. They clean their own bathroom, they set the table, and they tidy their bedroom, make their beds, etc.

[bobbeym]

My boys were around that age - maybe slightly older - when they started taking over the majority of the household chores. When I have the time and desire, I'll do some light cleaning, cooking, laundry, but that's about it. DH and I have been "jokingly" told that we treat our kids like slaves. We've always disagreed.

 

Our job as parents is to make sure they are prepared to maintain their own households someday. To do that, they need to know and understand all aspects of how to properly cook, clean, take care of others, and do laundry. I always tell them that I already know how to clean my house and keep it clean, and when they finally figure out how to do it without needing detailed instructions and daily reminders, dad and I will start doing more.

[texasmama]

My 10 and 12 year old boys unload the dishwasher, sweep, take care of some of the animals, clean a bathroom, clean off the coffee table and the kitchen table and wipe down the kitchen table, sweep the kitchen and under the table, water the garden, gather the trash and put it in the big can and take it to the curb every week, straighten their room (not too well or often - lol) and put away their clean laundry. They don't do any laundry because I am far too picky about my methods. :D The younger son enjoys cooking so he will make pancakes, etc. - simple things. This is his choice, though, since he enjoys it. My oldest son will babysit his 7 year old sister for short periods of time while I run an errand. The 10 year old is not in the mix at these times, though. He is either elsewhere (at baseball practice) or with me. My teenager has the fewest chores because she attends private school, so she is not here as much. When kids are at home all the time because of homeschooling, there is ample time to do a few chores and also have plenty of free time. My boys have an enormous amount of free time. Their chores really take up little time every day.

[msjones]

My goodness. Some neighbor. My neighbors are a different variety of difficult, but my heart goes out to you.

 

I wouldn't give her any articles. Maybe ask her what she's worried about, but don't try to defend your decision. No need for that.

 

People like to talk about themselves. Ask her lots of questions about her work, her yard, her kids (if she has them), her summer plans, her family,where she went to college, her major, etc etc etc. She'll think you're nice.

[El...]

We are reading Farmer Boy as a read-aloud right now, so..... :tongue_smilie: I feel pretty lax in the chore assignment department. I second (or maybe third) the response, "Why do you ask?" Then smile and wait silently until they respond.

[vonfirmath]

At that age, my sister and I had to regularly (once every other week or so) Vacuum the entire house and clean both bathrooms.

 

We also folded and put away all the laundry. (For whatever reason my mother never taught us to do the laundry) And sorted the laundry to take TO the washroom

 

We put dishes on the table, cleared the table, loaded and unloaded the dishwasher, and made Kool-aid in the pitcher. And after my dad mowed we went out with my mom and swept all the lawn clippings off of the sidewalk parts. Sometimes we washed dishes by hand (though I suspect my mom went back and rewashed afterward. She was just like that)

 

We didn't have younger siblings to watch.

 

We occasionally were paid for doing extra jobs like: pulling weeds in the backyard. Sorting itty bitty washers and stuff in the garage into various containers. Washing the car. Getting an air compressor cleaned up to sell.

[Mrs.Gregg]

I pretty much agree with the statement 'My parenting choices are not up for discussion' or nicely put 'What works for us and our family might not work for yours and vice versa'

 

As for chores my kids do the following:

 

10 1/2

Unpaid:

Transfers laundry and starts laundry, folds and puts away. Helps unload dishwasher, helps surface clean the house and bathroom. Cleans her room and makes her bed. Helps with meal prep and clean up. Takes out the garbage from time to time, sweeps and vaccums

Paid:

Cleans out the litter box and sweeps the laundry room.

 

7 1/2 yr old

Unpaid

Folds laundry, takes laundry to laundry room, puts laundry away. Helps with clean up after meals, helps with meal prep, dusts, helps with surface cleaning of home, sweeps, vaccums, Cleans her room, picks up toys.

Paid:

Feeds the cats

[wallingjan]

My 11 yo daughter does lots around the house. In fact, one of her subjects to complete on her school schedule is "helping home." We joke that it is her life skills class. She gets plenty of down time, but I don't see how contributing to our home is a bad thing. I spend lots of time on her education!

[DragonFaerie]

I agree. It's none of your neighbor's (or anybody else's) business. But since you asked, my kiddos are largely responsible for themselves. This means they clean their rooms, including changing sheets on their beds and cleaning their bathrooms (with cleaners when necessary; though DD supervises DS for this part). They fold and put away their own laundry, even fix their own breakfast and lunch, and oftentimes dinner, too. In addition to taking care of themselves, they each dustmop the floor, empty the trashcans, and vacuum the mudroom and stairs weekly. They also take care of their pets, including cleaning cages and litterboxes. DS is responsible for taking the kitchen trash and recycling out to the garage while DD takes the can up to the curb and empties the dishwasher. They tell me they "have to do everything around here!" Good. That means I'm doing my job. :D

[MrsBanjoClown]

My 8yo is responsible for:

1. making his bed (I don't require perfection - just his best effort)

2. taking out the trash (occasionally - now that dh is leaving for work in the morning he usually does it. When he worked nights ds would do it.)

3. vacuuming

4. cleaning his room (we are working on this one - their room is never truly clean)

5. Sometimes he will set the table. Both of my boys (8 and 6) clear their own dishes from the table after each meal.

[5LittleMonkeys]

My response to a woman who once insisted that my dc were required to do too much in regards to cleaning..."Don't be jealous of my free labor." She knew that it was tongue in cheek, but it sent her the message that I didn't put any stock into what she was saying, and it shut her up quickly.

 

It will be easier to tell you what my kids aren't responsible for than make a list of what they do. ;)

 

I am responsible for:

 

Meals

Mopping hard surfaces

Once a week thorough cleaning of my kitchen (dd14 cleans it after each meal)

Dusting my hutch which contains heirloom and antique glasses and dishes

Maintaining school shelves and cabinets

Grocery shopping (they unload and put away)

Keeping my bedroom\closet and bathroom tidy

Supervising the daily, weekly, and monthly tidying, cleaning, sorting, organizing, and purging of the household by my dc.

 

In a nutshell my dc do all the daily upkeep, cleaning and all the laundry, in addition to keeping the house tidy and organized. Keep in mind that there are 5 of them...divided up, the work for each is not that much.

[happymomofboys]

As soon as my kids were capable of cleaning up their own mess, I required them to do so. That means they do most of the chores, because they make most of the mess. Knowing how to take care of a home is a life skill that they will need when they move out, so they deserve to be trained well in how to do it.

 

Knowing how to function in society (socialization) is also a life skill. But, I don't believe that children should be socialized by other children. They're socialized by actually participating in society and by being corrected by loving adults. Socializing on the other hand, while fun and beneficial, is not the same thing. Even some kids in public school don't enjoy socializing or are so mistreated by others that they learn to shun social activities. I think a very social child will make friends anywhere they go and a child who is less social will tend to be reserved even when surrounded by other children. I don't think homeschooling has anything to do with it.

[Mommy22alyns]

Your chores do not seem excessive. I agree, that your education choices and home life are none of your neighbor's business. Why would they even know what chores your kids do anyway? And no, I would not recommend giving them any books or articles. If they were your mother, I might. But even then, it really isn't any one else's business than you and your husband's.

 

 

This. Wow, they are all up in your business. They need to back off!

 

And no, those chores do not sound excessive to me.

 

Rebecca can vacuum the living room, clean bathroom and kitchen floors, wash and hang her leos, clean the bathrooms, fold and put away laundry, take out the trash, clean the stove top, counters, and table in the kitchen, and make some simple meals. Sylvia can help with bathrooms, round up trash cans, fold and put away towels, socks, and undies, and pick up for vacuuming. Both are expected to pick up after themselves in the living room and clean their room when asked.

[Georgiana Daniels]

Is there a reason you care what your neighbors think? I'm of the "nunya business" camp.

 

You do what you feel is appropriate for your family, and it's no one else's concern. I've found with people who are openly antagonistic to homeschooling, they often have guilt issues of their own. They are trying to justify their own decisions by making you defend yours.

[mommaduck]

do you discuss this with them, do they randomly bring it up, do they question your kids, how do they know what your kids do and don't do?

[stripe]

a few things...

 

one---socialization of the kids

two---I am making the kids clean too much and they do too much adult stuff

(They are not pro homeschooling at all.)

 

So tell me what chores do your 11 and 9yrs old kids do?

 

My kids.....

do the dishes-wash, place in dishwasher and unload

do the laundry-they have loaded, started the wash, transfered clothes, sorted and delivered clothes

sweep and mop kitchen floors-

take out garbage and bring in garbage and recycling cans

they also help change baby;s diaper and entertaining the preschooler ( I farm one kid out to hang out with the preschooler while I work with the other kids).

 

Do you have any articles I can these neighbors?

 

How many of these things occur in front of the neighbor? It appears to me just the garbage and recycling. Plenty of kids in my neighborhood take out the trash or recycling. My pet peeve is sending little kids to the dumpsters who can't reach that high.

 

On the other hand, if your older kids are changing diapers in the yard in front of everyone, I would probably agree with the neighbor!

[mysticmomma]

The only chores my 6 and 8 year olds don't participate in involve vomit or poop. Even my three year old has chores.

[briansmama]

I honestly find it very challenging to spend time around others who are not supportive of our homeschooling, unless they can respect that we disagree and not discuss it (which is how I feel extended family members should handle it).

 

I had to realize a long time ago that the way Dh and I are raising our dc is so VERY different from the way others are who send their dc to school and identify with that lifestyle. They honestly don't understand or see how household chores are part of my educational plan for my dc. It not only fills me with pride, but it is so good for my dc souls to have meaningful work that helps out their family. Once we adopted our family dog, for example, and saw how beneficial that relationship and care taking role for my older ds became, we decided to lift our 1 pet only rule and adopt a cat who our then 5 yr old fell in love with. We only adopted him so our younger ds could experience the same joy and pride in taking care of another creature. Granted, I knew I'd have to help him out and planned to, but it has been such a rewarding experience for him in many ways. I've watched him really thrive with the added responsibility of taking care of "his" beloved friend, who depends on him (and me).

 

I had a neighbor who was shocked to learn that we expected our 8yr old to handle most of the puppy training with the dog when we got her. He couldn't imagine leaving that responsibility to his 10yr old ds at the time. I knew our ds could handle it and he really wanted the challenge- it was his science project for that year. He did great!

 

So, I think people with entirely different lifestyles are not always going to comprehend what you are trying to do with your dc- and I've learned to be ok with that, although I admit I choose to spend my time with others who "get" me and limit interactions with anyone who doesn't.

 

ETA: My 9yr old does all the care for his dog- pick up in yard, walks, ball play, training, and feeding. He also does the bathing and brushing with our help. He unloads the dishwasher, dries and puts away dishes after meals, and sets the table. He cleans his room every morning and brings down the laundry from the hamper when it's full (his and his brother's only). He unloads groceries from the car and helps take out the trash with my Dh.

 

The 6yr old cleans his room, unloads all silverware from the dishwasher, dries dishes and puts away, sets table, and is responsible for his cat's care (feeding, playing, and helps brush him, I handle the litter box). He takes out all cat pickup bags to the trash. He helps unload the lighter grocery items from the car and is responsible for returning the reusable bags to the car.

 

Both boys help fold laundry and put away.

[briansmama]

Is there a reason you care what your neighbors think? I'm of the "nunya business" camp.

 

You do what you feel is appropriate for your family, and it's no one else's concern. I've found with people who are openly antagonistic to homeschooling, they often have guilt issues of their own. They are trying to justify their own decisions by making you defend yours.

 

 

Excellent point.