Poll: How often do you encounter rude people?

[Lisa R.]

When you are out and about: library, home school classes, doctor appointments, park, etc., how often do you encounter rude people?

 

Rudeness is defined anyway you want to define it.

 

For the purposes of this very unscientific poll, do not count any rudeness from relatives. So, if your MIL regularly gives you grief, don't count this.

 

Also, if your work in customer service or something related, let's not count that either. If your main job is fielding complaints or concerns, that would skew this already flawed poll. :)

 

Edit: Let's not include rudeness encountered while driving.

Edited October 24, 2012 by Lisa R.

[kalanamak]

In the outside world, about once or twice a year, although there were more mannerless boors in my old town. At work I meet them every day. I classify being threatened with death rude. On the employee side, there are some who are famously rude, and I avoid them when possible.

 

I recently stood up to one and told her she was rude and had been rude before. Now she tippy-toes around me. Just fine by me. But that was years in the coming. Usually I just avoid. Sometimes you have to stand up to someone for the benefit of a patient. Somehow, I have *no* trouble doing that, but if someone is rude to me, I tend to get on with life and just avoid that person.

 

I think it comes from being picked on by an older brother (who I'm now close to) when I was a kid. When you grow up being called "The Missing Link", it toughens you a bit.

[Rebecca VA]

Not that often, but I don't get out much. I see a huge amount of rudeness in movies and TV shows, but not much in real life.

[Parrothead]

All the time.

[gingersmom]

Probably a couple of times a year and I am always dumbfounded. I am not sure why but it still amazes me that people (mostly men in my experience) can act like a horse's patootie.

 

If my children are with me I use it as lesson in how not to act.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Are we counting rude drivers, or just face-to-face rudeness? Because if we count drivers, that ups my number significantly. Of course, I drive in what's probably the second worst state for driving in the Northeast, so...

 

Like Rebecca, though, I don't go out much, partly for this reason. I'm much happier in my own little bubble :tongue_smilie:

[LaxMom]

All the time.

 

Me, too. And I don't mean thoughtless or preoccupied. I mean consciously, aggressively, egregiously rude. It truly boggles the mind that (what seems like) a fairly large number of people seem to think it's ok to conduct themselves so horribly.

[ILiveInFlipFlops]

Probably a couple of times a year and I am always dumbfounded. I am not sure why but it still amazes me that people (mostly men in my experience) can act like a horse's patootie.

 

If my children are with me I use it as lesson in how not to act.

 

See, I think it's going to be hard to put a number on it without definitions. I consider someone going through a door in front of me and letting it slam on me as rude. I consider drivers speeding up and cutting me off when they could easily have dropped in behind me rude. I consider passive-aggressive comments at social gatherings rude. So, again, that will up my personal number significantly.

[2_girls_mommy]

Twice in the last 2 weeks, so I guess that means once a week here. I actually had a woman go crazy on me over the children's computers at the library. I did have the guts to ask her if the kids on the expired time cards were hers as mine had valid new ones and it was there turn. I guess that was my bad :) I was polite about it though. Then she went off on the librarian after I got her, and continued to talk about me right next to me when I wouldn't respond to her after that.

 

And this weekend a woman actually walked up to me in a drugstore and told me my dd10 was not very smart. I kind of smiled thinking she was going to make some kind of joke, but nope, she was serious. My dd's "dumb" action? Apparantly the woman told her she liked her outfit and my dd didn't say thank you. The woman informed me, "She should have said Thank You." To which my dd replied, " I did say thank you." But I guess it wasn't loud enough. When a shy girl quietly responds to a stranger I guess that is enough for a lady to say she isn't smart? I was shocked by that one.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I go out all the time. I talk to people all the time. I encounter rudeness maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I do not count small unintentional acts as rude. I smile and treat people kindly and even grouchy people will often respond in kind so perhaps I am heading off rudeness?

[DawnM]

When I was a school counselor I ran into it all the time, from parents even sometimes.

 

If we are counting student to student interaction, that would be hourly in the school setting! :lol: But since it was my job to deal with the rude ones, that is understandable.

 

Now that I don't work, it is less, but there are some really stubborn homeschool moms and dads out there who truly believe it is their job to tell you what you are doing wrong in YOUR homeschooling life. Or, HS folks who don't like the way your co-op, troop, church group, HS park days, (insert activity) is run and they have no issue telling you so!

 

So, yeah, I do deal with it. BUT, I have put myself in positions where I am on leadership or overseeing something, so people come to me with their complaints many times.

[*********]

Are we counting rude drivers, or just face-to-face rudeness? Because if we count drivers, that ups my number significantly.

 

Yeah, it's hard for me to answer this one. I mean, if we're counting 'mild' rudeness, that's way different than 'Wow, that's one rude person!' Sort of rudeness.

 

Let me give you some examples :D:

 

Mild rudeness:

• Someone who pretends you're invisible (when they CLEARLY saw you) to avoid letting you out in traffic.
  
• People who don't move their grocery cart to let you pass when they also clearly see you.
  
• Those who just have a general air of 'Yeah, I'm more important than you, so you can wait/go around me/get out of my way'
  

'Wow, that's one rude person!' (and these are all real life things that have happened to me):

 

• The pharmacist who YELLED at me because he mixed a medicine that had already been filled by another pharmacy (due to an error by my doctor's office). The man actually YELLED at me because he would now have to waste the medicine. Um, when I spoke to the other pharmacist (who was ringing me up), she only confirmed the OTHER script that I was actually picking up. You're the one who assumed, dude. And yes, I *did* stand up for myself. I believe the first words out of my mouth were "WHY are you yelling at me?!" You better believe I found the manager before I left that store. :tongue_smilie: And to top it off, it was like a $9 antibiotic the guy was all upset about.
  
• The doctor at urgent care who yelled at my six year old because he wouldn't stop crying and moving while she tried to give him an injection to numb his chin for stitches. Uh, yeah. I didn't really think I had a mama bear instinct until that episode. I've never in my life had such a rude encounter with a doctor. We left without ds being treated by her, and yep, I got my $60 copay refunded after talking with her supervisor.
  
• The old man at the grocery store who said 'Hey lady, take up the whole f'ing aisle why don't ya.' Uh, I was pushing one of those ginormous carts with a bench where the kids can sit, and he had one of those mini-carts (you know, the half size ones). I was TRYING to move out of his way! Those huge carts are slow and hard to manuever. And he didn't move over a millimeter! And it's not even like I hit him or anything; I guess I just didn't move fast enough for him. And he was a grandpa aged guy. So rude; really, that's just shameful that he would speak that way to a lady. I did turn around as he was walking away and say (loud enough for him to hear me) 'Well that's some kind of language!' He just kept walking.
  

So yeah. The 'mild rudeness' is a pretty regular thing. I might roll my eyes or something about it, but it doesn't get to me. That's just society, you know? But those three examples I gave of REALLY rude people? Yeah, I said and/or did something about each of those things. But those sorts of incidents are rather rare; maybe once or twice a year?

 

So, after my lengthy analysis, LOL, I'm gonna vote based on the 'REALLY rude' enoucters I have.

[Lisa R.]

I edited my OP to say that we shouldn't include drivers in our rudeness poll.

 

Probably driving should be its own separate poll. :)

[Heather in Neverland]

I voted every single day but my problem is mostly cultural. I encounter things that are rude TO ME every day but to the locals seems like perfectly normal behavior. So rude is relative.

 

When we were in the states this summer, the one thing we all noticed was how NICE everyone was in the US. But then we realized that it was OUR definition of nice.

[Angel]

I go out all the time. I talk to people all the time. I encounter rudeness maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I do not count small unintentional acts as rude. I smile and treat people kindly and even grouchy people will often respond in kind so perhaps I am heading off rudeness?

 

:iagree: The bolded is me, too. I never get negative comments about homeschooling or my children. I do encounter rude drivers, but I am on the road a lot so that is to be expected and doesn't count in this poll.

 

I do observe other people or their children being rude to others, not me personally. I am often appalled by how some people believe it is ok to act or let their children act (that's a big one). But that's a whole 'nother topic. ;)

[justLisa]

Most the time I go out. I at *least* encounter a crazy driver.

 

Most of the rudeness I encounter is in the form of snootiness. I live in an area where lots of people think they are better than everyone.

 

My dad calls them pretend rich. Just enough money to show off. Not enough to do anything good with it.

 

I'm really good at being sickeningly sweet to jerks. It makes them really mad but it's kind of a sick game I learned.

[Lady Florida.]

I go out all the time. I talk to people all the time. I encounter rudeness maybe 3 or 4 times a year. I do not count small unintentional acts as rude. I smile and treat people kindly and even grouchy people will often respond in kind so perhaps I am heading off rudeness?

 

This, especially the bolded. I know sometimes I'm in my own world when I'm out, usually going through my mental to-do list, and am not paying attention to my actions. When I realize I've done something (say, cut someone off with my shopping cart), I apologize and try to be more aware of my surroundings. I give others the benefit of the doubt that they too might not realize what they did.

 

I only encounter true rudeness a few times a year, and I'm out a lot.

[Joker]

It feels like I encounter mildly rude people almost every time I go somewhere. A few days ago dds and I were at Target looking at earbuds. A man stepped right in front of us, pushing one dd a bit, so he could look at the earbuds instead. I said, "Excuse me?", and he said, "No problem." :001_huh:

 

I usually let those kinds of rudeness go, but he had to push my child out of the way to get where he was going so I felt I had to say something.

 

If the person is elderly, I just smile and seem to have more patience.

 

I don't encounter seriously rude people that often.

[stripe]

It feels like I encounter mildly rude people almost every time I go somewhere. A few days ago dds and I were at Target looking at earbuds. A man stepped right in front of us, pushing one dd a bit, so he could look at the earbuds instead. I said, "Excuse me?", and he said, "No problem." :001_huh:

 

:lol: I was trying to look at something at a dollar store once and this other woman in the aisle went crazy and started screaming into her cell phone, "Some people are so rude!" I was so upset!

[justLisa]

It feels like I encounter mildly rude people almost every time I go somewhere. A few days ago dds and I were at Target looking at earbuds. A man stepped right in front of us, pushing one dd a bit, so he could look at the earbuds instead. I said, "Excuse me?", and he said, "No problem." :001_huh:

 

I usually let those kinds of rudeness go, but he had to push my child out of the way to get where he was going so I felt I had to say something.

 

If the person is elderly, I just smile and seem to have more patience.

 

I don't encounter seriously rude people that often.

 

:lol: That's kind of funny. Except that he bumped your dd.

[nukeswife]

I encounter what I would consider "RUDE" behavior at least weekly, but I think this also has to do with the fact that I live in a heavily populated area, so that may skew the results a bit. I also didn't include the rudeness of drivers because I encounter that anytime I have to get on the road here.

[Incognito]

I've adjusted a lot, but when I first moved I found the way people behave here to be quite rude much of the time. Asking prying questions, not being considerate of people with small children, just generally more aggressive in mannerisms.

 

Now that I know what the norm is here, I don't see out and out rudeness that often, but I still am taken aback by what runs for normal here. It's not that the acts in and of themselves are super rude, it is that the culture is so much more brazen, if you will, that the quiet, patient place I came from. It's like the social filter has much larger holes than I was used to...

[nono]

I am the "other " vote. I live in a resort area. We encounter rude behavior consistently during our high season. The rest of the year, it is almost non-existent.

 

And, please don't read that to mean that all our visitors are rude. Not at all. But when one get 9 million folks in a season visiting an area with about 100,000 in the low season, chances are the rude encounters will escalate. Plus culturally, some visitors have no idea that we have our own local culture and way of doing things. :)

[lavender's green]

I said weekly.

 

I encounter incidental, unthinking rudeness all the time - like someone who needs to see my driver's license and says "Wow, your hair looked so nice in this picture!" and going on and on about it, or asking really intrusive questions.

 

I see flat-out, society-must-be-coming-to-an-end rudeness about once a month.

[I.Dup.]

Very, very rarely. Which is surprising since we have a ton of children with us everywhere we go. I am just waiting for a rabid environmentalist to say something really nasty about our family size, but so far all we've gotten are smiles and kind comments. :D

[freeindeed]

I see it most of the time I go somewhere. Maybe it's just me...:tongue_smilie:

[Julie Smith]

I hardly ever see or experience rudeness.

 

But then I suppose I might live in my own happy go lucky world.

[Georgiana Daniels]

If we can't count rudeness in driving, maybe it's not that much. Most of the issues seem to be on the road. Now that I don't work out in the public, my rudeness encounters have gone waaay down.

[Barb_]

Rudest places we've lived: South Florida and San Francisco. Nicest: Phoenix and Oklahoma. In the middle: Chicago/Evanston.

[6packofun]

Right. If the "rude" list includes those who speak loudly on their cell phones to the annoyance and interruption of others around them and smokers who do not follow designated smoking area (or NO smoking) signs and parents who refuse to control their realllllly badly behaved children...then my answer is different. :D

[jennynd]

I used to live IN. People there are the nicest and sweetest. Then I moved to NY. Encounter rude people are everyday thing. What drove me to the end is when My back then 3 years old hold the door for the 30 something woman, the jerk just walked out without even acknowledge my daughter. Since then, I stopped been nice. NY people are rude. And I am one of those now.

[SilverMoon]

I voted for most of the time I go out, but if you asked in the summer I wouldn't have the same answer.

 

The snowbirds are back, and more are coming. By the end of next month our population will have tripled. Many snowbirds are wonderful, lovely people whom we adore. However many other snowbirds seem to think they aren't obligated to use manners, have any sense of civic responsibility, or simply be a decent citizen because they don't "live" here. It's practically impossible to go to the grocery store without meeting the latter. :tongue_smilie:

[nono]

I voted for most of the time I go out, but if you asked in the summer I wouldn't have the same answer.

 

The snowbirds are back, and more are coming. By the end of next month our population will have tripled. Many snowbirds are wonderful, lovely people whom we adore. However many other snowbirds seem to think they aren't obligated to use manners, have any sense of civic responsibility, or simply be a decent citizen because they don't "live" here. It's practically impossible to go to the grocery store without meeting the latter. :tongue_smilie:

 

LOL! You are living my life in calendar opposite. :grouphug:

[Joanne]

Rarely. I voted a couple of times a year.

 

I mostly find people courteous, kind, or indifferent.

[Crimson Wife]

Rudest places we've lived: South Florida and San Francisco. Nicest: Phoenix and Oklahoma. In the middle: Chicago/Evanston.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:with the bolded.

 

I would say that I witness rude behavior several times per week, though not necessarily every day.

[Word Nerd]

If I count things like parking your shopping cart (alert! alert! shopping cart opinion ahead!) or stroller in the middle of an aisle so that no one can get around you, or charging out of an aisle without checking to see if you're about to hit anyone, then I encounter rudeness pretty much anytime I go to Walmart. People seem to treat other people and property much worse there than other stores.

[Joker]

I had to post again in this thread because of what I encountered today at the eye doctor. We checked in and went to sit down. There was a bench with four seats and one chair. A young woman was sitting in the middle of the bench with her purse next to her. It left only one seat open. Younger dd sat in that one open space and older dd sat in the chair. I stood next to younger and looked at the young woman for a moment. Nothing. I then had to ask her if she could please move her purse so I could sit next to dd. She was so annoyed she threw her purse on the floor and loudly sighed. :tongue_smilie: I really just don't get some people.

[jennynd]

I had to post again in this thread because of what I encountered today at the eye doctor. We checked in and went to sit down. There was a bench with four seats and one chair. A young woman was sitting in the middle of the bench with her purse next to her. It left only one seat open. Younger dd sat in that one open space and older dd sat in the chair. I stood next to younger and looked at the young woman for a moment. Nothing. I then had to ask her if she could please move her purse so I could sit next to dd. She was so annoyed she threw her purse on the floor and loudly sighed. :tongue_smilie: I really just don't get some people.

 

I got a better one. I took my dd to the gymnastic lesson and DS came along. We saw two chairs empty and I ask my son to sit and put jackets on the other and took my dd to change. Came back my DS was setting on my seat and another woman sit on where DS sits. I asking him what happen, DS said the other woman accuse him " stealing" her seat. I was like .. Really, she brought the chair ? Or she had anything on the chair? Nope... The woman just pretend didn't hear me. :mad: I honest do not like NY people

[tex-mex]

On FB during political season... I just hide them from my news feed. :D

[reign]

I am at the library a lot. For some reason the evening help are all downers and extremely anti social. I also go shopping a lot and people seem very depressed. I am very overly polite though. I'm sure other people don't view the same situations as rude. My husband and I have a hard time even going out with our own parents for fear of embarrassment of their rude behavior. We go out with them a lot anyways but I cringe. I just got back from vacationing in a different area of Michigan. I feel as though everyone was wonderfully polite up there. My father was even better behaved :)

[somo_chickenlady]

All the time here. When we lived in NE it wasn't as often. Just last weekend we were at Walmart, and we had just walked up to the limes and were getting ready to pick some out when a lady came over and physically shoved us AND the lady restocking them out of the way so she could get some. We were all SO shocked! Unfortunately, that stuff happens all the time to us.

[RoughCollie]

We've lived here for 3 years and I cannot recall a single instance of rudeness, except from the attendance lady at the high school, who is always rude. I figure its because she is not cut out to deal with constant little problems all day, every day.

[Elinor Everywhere]

Hardly ever!

 

Which is why I have no idea why am I so, so surprised when someone is nice to me. Really, nobody is ever overtly rude, but I almost get choked up when someone does something very nice.

 

I guess most people I meet are pleasantly indifferent.

[Firefly]

Fortunately, I encounter it rarely; experiences with rude people tend to stick with me for a while.

[LibraryLover]

I voted rarely, unless you are talking about impatient people beeping when I'm trying to make a left turn onto a busy (particular) road. That corner needs a light so I can be vindicated.