Jean in Newcastle Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I've been asked this by fellow homeschoolers as well as friends and family. I know that they mean public school but it bugs me no end. My kids already do go to school - at home. And the idea of "letting them" makes it sound like my kids are begging me to loosen the chains so that they can go to normal school like everyone else. I was talking to a friend yesterday (who I like a lot when talking about any other topic!) and she asked if I would finally "let my kids go to school" for college. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I found myself getting so snarky when asked this ad nauseum (and I'm not a snarky person) that I finally resorted to using a standard answer: "When homeschooling is no longer working for us" and changing the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 How is it that I seem to avoid negative questions about homeschooling? Or maybe I'm just so focused I don't notice them? I think I'd like to believe I'd say, "It depends on if they want to go to college or if that would be the best option for their post-high school plans. DD, for example, has mentioned wanting to homeschool college in the past. If she still feels that way when she's older, we'll see if we can make that happen for her." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 My pat answer to anyone who asks, "Why do you homeschool?" when I don't want to get in a long discussion about our reasons is, "Because it's what's best for our family." So I guess that the answer to your question could be, "When we feel that it would be in the best interest of our family." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeninok Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I was asked this today, normally I say oh we play it by ear, but ahem, not so much this time. My answer was that I would let him go back when I decided panic attacks and bullying were a good choice for him. She then asked me when he got to be with friends and other kids. Well, he has art classes Saturdays for 2 hours, we have almost 3 hours of kid stuff at the UU church every other Sunday, he has 2 hours of kid stuff at his dads church the other Sundays along with spending the entire weekend with a 13 and 15 year old aunts when he is there. An almost every Wednesday playdate with another homeschooler and he plays with the neighbor kids at least 3 times a week after they get home from school. He is also spending time as a mother's helper for his toddler age cousin's several times a month. And once a week he visits with his great grandfather, who suffers from dementia, speaking to him about the war, (and who knows what) so that I can sit and have coffee with my grandmother and let her relax and vent. I don't know many other 11 year old boys able to do that, he's kind of special!! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sisyphus Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I've noticed since my oldest hit high school age this year, it's really ramped up. Even among people I meet who homeschool, they don't home school high school and ask why and how we would do it. Uh...because she wanted to? Because why break what is working? Because it's none of yer darn bidness? :glare: Generally people were positive if a bit bemused until now, save the random rude comment. Now, all comments are borderline rude. My relatives are fit to be tied- my "wacky idea" for kindergarten could be tolerated, but high school is just down right dangerous and abusive. Never mind the happy, well educated and well adjusted kid standing in front of them... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 My son's pediatrician asked me something like this, making an assumption that he was at home because (basically) there was something wrong with him. I was kind of offended but didn't want to say much in front of my son. My husband was a bit shocked that I didn't say more, when I told him about it. I told her I would send my son if it seemed appropriate in the future but right now we were happy with homeschooling. However, when I take my daughter in, I intend to say unequivocally that I am hsing for academic reasons. I am not sure if she thinks I am particularly educated, but I am. I think sometimes people don't phrase things well but it's not malicious, you just have to sort of play it by ear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I think I'd like to believe I'd say, "It depends on if they want to go to college or if that would be the best option for their post-high school plans. DD, for example, has mentioned wanting to homeschool college in the past. If she still feels that way when she's older, we'll see if we can make that happen for her." That's way too many words for me. I'd probably just say "no" and change the subject. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Ha! When the education system gets COMPLETELY REVAMPED! Well, we are actually sending the kids to a private Christian school for 2 subjects next year so I've said recently that they go part time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
delaney Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 You have patience. My all time nastiest reply was, "I like spending time with MY kids." I do have 2 in public b/c they were well established before I thought about homeschooling and thought it was "weird". Obviously my girls feel differently and the younger boys know no different. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 NEVER!!! (evil laugh) MWA-HA-HA-HA!!:lol: Really, if people only knew 7yo doesn't even want to leave home for college. I told her, "Sure honey! You can live at home during college and go to local Washington University. That would be fine with Momm." She was okay with that.:lol: Really, though, I only get this from my 97yo Grandma. "What are you doing today? Does 7yo have school?" I suspect we'll get more of this as the kids get older. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) I've noticed since my oldest hit high school age this year, it's really ramped up. Even among people I meet who homeschool, they don't home school high school and ask why and how we would do it. I noticed some people we know seemed relieved that we sent ds1 to school for high school. I got the impression that it was ok that we homeschooled up through 8th but high school is serious and they need to be in *school*. We weren't afraid or ill-equipped to homeschool high school; we were ready to do it. There were other reasons we sent him. Up until then I only got the *real school* comment from one particular nasty neighbor. We got the scoop from the other neighbors (we were new to the neighborhood) that she was nasty to everyone. Thankfully it was easy to avoid her (we only lived there 1.5 years) as she hardly ever came out of her house. ETA: Now I think on it more, the *let* part of that comment in the OP bugs me. As if we're unreasonably controlling. Ugh--I can't clearly express what I'm thinking so I'll stop now and go get more coffee. Edited October 5, 2012 by Cinder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I've noticed since my oldest hit high school age this year, it's really ramped up. Even among people I meet who homeschool, they don't home school high school and ask why and how we would do it. I notice the people that bought us homeschooling in elementary and middle school are now suddenly concerned about his high school education. My sister was quizzing my parents last year (she doesn't live around us) and then my parents started asking these odd questions. Come to find out my sister (who teaches college classes) was so concerned about how he would get into college. ACT and a transcript, just like you did sister dear. I told my parents that if she had questions about my son's education, she could talk to me. I was vindicated when she came to visit and realized he is a bright kid with future goals. This year my parents seem overly concerned about his knowledge of US history and geography for some reason. Um, we're doing Ancient history. Do you want to hear about the 18th Egyptian Dynasty? We're doing that time period right now. I do think a lot of people assume that you'll put them in "regular" school once they hit high school. I haven't encountered face to face questions yet, but I have some answers ready dependent upon the person. - Why now? they're just getting interesting. - They don't teach (insert subject) at our local school - We believe in allowing teens proper rest (although that could lead to more questions) - We believe in time for pursuing passions, then describe a few things your kids do. - You don't want this kid in a public school, believe me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "When I find a better option for her than homeschooling." I'm not tied to homeschooling through high school-but I'm more and more starting to think that we're heading that way, simply because the gap between DD and other kids her age isn't decreasing-it's increasing. It's a little tough at times in my HS group because sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who is homeschooling as Hobson's choice, not as the ideal, dream, planned situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2scouts Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 The post about the rude comments ramping up in high school got me thinking about last night. I have a son who has always been in PS and he's a senior this year. I went to his soccer game and watched all the interactions between the high school students and kept thinking that it would not be a good environment for my intelligent, but quirky and shy, youngest son. He's had social activities every single day this week and they were all very different than what I see in schools. We need to do what works for each of our children and let people think whatever they want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipper Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I get a variety of questions from people, mostly because home schooling is not well known around here. There are only a handful of families who home school. The rest "home school" by sending them to a church school. My poor step mother is the one most confused. She keeps wondering how we get curriculum (we buy it), who decides what they are going to do (we decide together), who approves it (nobody). We have the conversation everytime we see her. She's not rude, just genuinely baffled. If they ask when we will let them go to real school, I nicely remind them that the girls do real school work so are in school at the moment. I then tell them that if they are asking when the girls will go to public school, that we discuss it over the summer and make a decision every year. If someone asks the girls why they aren't in school, I've told them to cheerfully reply, "We home school!" and smile. If I'm asked about socialization, I offer to let the person run carpool for the various activities they are in and ask the girls about what their friends are up to these days. I get a running commentary on who is crushing on whom, the "in" music, who broke their arm, etc from the girls after activities. I'm more than happy for someone else to carpool and take them to parties and sleepovers. I did have to laugh when our dentist told the girls, "You need to brush twice a day and if you think about it, try to brush when you get in from school." They replied, "We home school!" He replied, "Oh, my rules are different for home schoolers - you need to brush three times a day, every day since you can." lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 (edited) I get that too every so often. sometimes from my kids friends that are just curious. Other times from adults. My response is usually, "We will see. We homeschool year by year and love it, but who knows what the future holds". It's true and seems to suffice. My kids choose homeschooling and love it. Next year my daughter will take a class or two at the middle school, but i dont think she will ever attend full time. My hope is that she can attend the community college at 15. It would be free for her. Edited October 5, 2012 by mytwomonkeys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "Let"? That would bug me. And I would probably be a bit snarky with a flip response like, "When the education system manages to get out of the toilet." Or something like that. We live in state #50 for education though so most people never even ask why we homeschool or when we will be sending them back. That is the only bonus to living in the state with the worst education record. Nevada and Mississippi (I think) trade on and off. Now, I do get a lot of questions about what we are doing for high school. These questions usually are sincere. And I respond with a short list of plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 As soon as I find the key to unlock that basement door. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
m0mmaBuck Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 How is it that I seem to avoid negative questions about homeschooling? Or maybe I'm just so focused I don't notice them? I think that since there are 3 different school districts basically in the same town, all with late starts, early releases, and random days off nearly continuously throughout the year... not to mention all the people from smaller towns around here that come here to shop, run errands, go to the dentist/doctor, play on their days off, etc.... no one notices when we are out during the day. They just assume that our school has an inservice day or an early release or what have you. The only time in the last 3 years that I have been asked that question was this spring when we were on vacation in Oregon. Their schools were still in session (as were the PS here in WA). However, they would typically answer it for themselves by saying, "Oh, you guys must be done with school already." Yes. Yes we were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 I've noticed since my oldest hit high school age this year, it's really ramped up. Even among people I meet who homeschool, they don't home school high school and ask why and how we would do it. Uh...because she wanted to? Because why break what is working? Because it's none of yer darn bidness? :glare: Generally people were positive if a bit bemused until now, save the random rude comment. Now, all comments are borderline rude. My relatives are fit to be tied- my "wacky idea" for kindergarten could be tolerated, but high school is just down right dangerous and abusive. Never mind the happy, well educated and well adjusted kid standing in front of them... Yes. It has stepped up now that ds is in high school. And my normal good humor is starting to evaporate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 5, 2012 Author Share Posted October 5, 2012 As soon as I find the key to unlock that basement door. :glare: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
celticmom Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "Let"? That would bug me. And I would probably be a bit snarky with a flip response like, "When the education system manages to get out of the toilet." Or something like that. We live in state #50 for education though so most people never even ask why we homeschool or when we will be sending them back. That is the only bonus to living in the state with the worst education record. Nevada and Mississippi (I think) trade on and off.Now, I do get a lot of questions about what we are doing for high school. These questions usually are sincere. And I respond with a short list of plans. :iagree:I live in Mississippi so I know exactly what you mean. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 The short answer: Never. When we were first starting out, I had a few family members ask if I planned on homeschooling through 12th, and I just told them, "Yep". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 :iagree:I live in Mississippi so I know exactly what you mean. Well, your school system beat ours this year. :lol: Maybe we'll get to be #49 next year. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 My kids know they have a choice. They can go to school if they want to. They WANT to be homeschooled. I have never been asked this question personally, but my older dd has (by friends and parents of friends). She has been asked why she doesn't go to "REAL" school (like we sit around and watch soap operas all day or something). I tell her they really have no business asking her questions like that, and she does not have to answer them. I told her she can tell them to come to me if they have questions about homeschooling. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "My kids haven't stopped thanking me for letting us homeschool in 13 years so...never?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html Love that! Especially this: If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind. My kid's only 4. People apparently seriously think I can't teach the things she needs to know. And these are people who know she's starting to read and understand basic numbers. Perhaps they have a point since I don't think a 4yo NEEDS to know much more than that... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 We started homeschooling in 8th grade, knowing we were in it through graduation b/c of the circumstances involved. So we don't get that question too often from people we know. For strangers that ask, I just tell them he'll go back when he asks to return for academic reasons. He'll be the first to tell you though that he likes homeschooling and that it's better for him. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I totally agree that the comments take on an entirely new tone when the kids hit high school. I am astounded at how many people were just tolerating my quirky homeschooling hobby. Because it's OK for little kids, but of course you have to send them to high school. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlbuchina Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 At least our kids don't have to do this! http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/viewart/20121005/GPG04/310050290/Phone-home-N-Y-teens-pay-valets-store-devices Wow. I just kept thinking, "Why don't they just leave them at home?" Then I read this: For many teens, it would be unthinkable to leave the devices at home all day, Carrera said. “Their phone is like a family member,†she said. “It’s like a pet. They love it.†Um. I don't know what to think about that. Really? I am so out of the loop. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coralloyd Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "When will you let your dc 'go to school'"? My answer is simple: "Never, if I have anything to say about it." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I'm with you on the phones, Margaret. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Actually, that would be a very funny list: Top 10 Reasons Why All Public-Schooled Teens Should Carry Phones (But it would be way too snarky, so I won't. LOL) My serious answer to serious people who actually care is, "I'll send him when I believe that going to school will be beneficial to him in any way at all." Because, for some of my children, there is nothing to be gained at our local public school. Not academically, socially, morally, or otherwise. On the other hand, my second son might be going to a private school for high school and I do expect him to benefit from the experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Wow. I just kept thinking, "Why don't they just leave them at home?" Then I read this: Um. I don't know what to think about that. Really? I am so out of the loop. They also say that many of the kids have long afterschool activities and may spend a long time on public transit (not school busses) to get to and from school. Or they may need to call mom to pick them up from practice after school, etc. I'd want my kids to have a phone on them if they were making their own way to school in NYC, then going to an activity or two (possibly also using transit rather than a bus), then making their own way home, possibly after dark. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "When I have a reason to send them. They are excelling at home so I'm not too worried about it." When I put my son in school last year, it seemed as if everyone in my life was expecting me to enroll my girls shortly after. Guess what? I'm not homeschooling out of fear or ignorance, or because I think the schools are evil. I'm not putting him in there out of desperation, and then realizing that he didn't die, so it must be ok to send one's kids to school. I know what the schools have to offer and I will take them up on it for things like music education and for a kid who obviously needed more structure and positive peer interaction than I could give him at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Oh boy, do I hear you on that one! Yeah, because the girls haaaaaate being homeschooled. Not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschooler.html This is awesome!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I get the question here, but it's..."Will you let them go to real school this year?" :ack2: :tongue_smilie: Gag...I've taken to giving them a death-stare and stone-cold silence. :sneaky2: I've been asked this by fellow homeschoolers as well as friends and family. I know that they mean public school but it bugs me no end. My kids already do go to school - at home. And the idea of "letting them" makes it sound like my kids are begging me to loosen the chains so that they can go to normal school like everyone else. I was talking to a friend yesterday (who I like a lot when talking about any other topic!) and she asked if I would finally "let my kids go to school" for college. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I get the question here, but it's..."Will you let them go to real school this year?" :ack2: :tongue_smilie: My basically supportive mother, who thinks my kids are learning, was SHOCKED that I actually have a plan and math textbooks. I mean, shocked. She is not, by any means, an "unschooler" type. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 My basically supportive mother, who thinks my kids are learning, was SHOCKED that I actually have a plan and math textbooks. I mean, shocked. She is not, by any means, an "unschooler" type. Oh, my goodness. When SIL and I were first starting out as homeschoolers more than a dozen years ago, my mother thought SIL was actually teaching her children and I was just playing school. Why? Because when dniece wrote a letter to Grandma is was part of her school, "You know, assigned in her English book," but when my son wrote a letter to Grandma it was just a letter. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 :001_smile: My basically supportive mother, who thinks my kids are learning, was SHOCKED that I actually have a plan and math textbooks. I mean, shocked. She is not, by any means, an "unschooler" type. Oh, my goodness. When SIL and I were first starting out as homeschoolers more than a dozen years ago, my mother thought SIL was actually teaching her children and I was just playing school. Why? Because when dniece wrote a letter to Grandma is was part of her school, "You know, assigned in her English book," but when my son wrote a letter to Grandma it was just a letter. :lol: :001_huh::001_huh::001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 normally I have a nice bland reply, but on my last snarky day my response was "oh, I don't let them out of their crate long enough for them to go to a "real" school." :glare: I was feeling particularly annoyed by all the people questioning the inner workings of my family though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I got that question about high school from Mum's partner the other day, in a non snarky way. I told him I couldn't imagine not having better things to do and I'm hoping they'll pick up dental assistant traineeships or something and work their schooling around them. (Work experience is much more important here than in the US.) He seemed to think that sounded good and that he also hoped the kids will have the manners to turn out the way we think they should. :p Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 Oh, my goodness. When SIL and I were first starting out as homeschoolers more than a dozen years ago, my mother thought SIL was actually teaching her children and I was just playing school. Why? Because when dniece wrote a letter to Grandma is was part of her school, "You know, assigned in her English book," but when my son wrote a letter to Grandma it was just a letter. :lol: My mom asked me where I got them from. My dad was also surprised that I said I needed a printer, and that I have a paypal account.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hilltop Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I am often asked, "How long are you going to homeschool?" I think most people are genuinely curious, but if they are snarky, I reply, "How long are you going to send your children to public school?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 My mom asked me where I got them from. My dad was also surprised that I said I needed a printer, and that I have a paypal account.:lol: :svengo: Well you know when you never leave the house you need a printer and paypal. :lol: At least Amazon and UPS understand us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 :svengo: Well you know when you never leave the house you need a printer and paypal. :lol: At least Amazon and UPS understand us. :lol: I just never thought my dad cared about my use of paypal, so I never thought to mention it. Who knew I was considered the family luddite?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TranquilMind Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 I've been asked this by fellow homeschoolers as well as friends and family. I know that they mean public school but it bugs me no end. My kids already do go to school - at home. And the idea of "letting them" makes it sound like my kids are begging me to loosen the chains so that they can go to normal school like everyone else. I was talking to a friend yesterday (who I like a lot when talking about any other topic!) and she asked if I would finally "let my kids go to school" for college. I'd just say that my kids already go to school. And...if you aren't doing this (I didn't see ages of the kids), do a yearly testing. That shuts them up, if your kids are testing above the local public school - not a hard standard to beat. And about college, I'd say that we will make those decisions about the best possible school for (kid) when that day comes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 she asked if I would finally "let my kids go to school" for college. "Nope. I plan to school them right through their doctorates." :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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