Bedwetting... when the boy is 13...

[BMW]

We tried doctor visits... they would only give us a nose spray that encourages the bladder to wake up the boy... didn't really work...

 

We go through a mattress every year with him because while we buy plastic covers, those wear out and sometimes he doesn't tell us and they are ripped and his mattress gets icky and he doesn't want to own up to it...

 

If I give him incentives, such as 3 dry nights in a row and we go get ice cream, he stays dry. Works every time. Until I don't offer him the reward. Why can he stay dry for a reward and not stay dry without????? Baffles me. I don't like having to purchase rewards...

 

He wakes up wet, showers, gets his bedding in the wash, wipes down mattress... over and over.

 

I try limiting his drinking after 6pm, but his dad doesn't and he often gets mad at me if I remind him....

 

His mom (she died 5 years ago) wet the bed until she was 16. One of his older brothers wet the bed until he was over 14. Two of his older brothers never wet the bed. Sigh.

 

I know I have asked about this before... I am looking for some more ideas... If you used a specific medication and it worked, how old was your child? Is there a recommended med. I can specifically ask the Dr. for? My ped. is generally anti-bed-wetting medication, but she doesn't live here!!! Any tips for how to ask when I know the ped. doesn't like to prescribe them?

 

When I woke him this morning, it smelt SOOOOO bad and I feel bad for him and his brother who share a room... and I dislike the expense and every time I ask dh to buy the boy disposable underwear that lasts for like... one time... Dh just does what he always does, lets the boy wet the bed and wash everything each morning.

 

Anyway, thanks...

[Paige]

Have you tried an alarm? If you've done that and it doesn't work, I'd put him on an elimination diet and see if there's a trigger food. My daughter quit wetting the bed when we took her off dairy. I'd also make sure he isn't chronically constipated. If you haven't done the alarm, I'd try that first.

[wapiti]

I'd see a ped urologist, get the meds, get the bedwetting alarm, etc., and I'd ask about possible genetic causes. I'd supplement with magnesium citrate. While there may turn out to be no serious issue causing this problem, this is outside of normal. (My mom was a bedwetter into her 20s. She looks like she might have a lipoma that I never knew about. My ds had a different kind of lipoma, though.)

Edited July 7, 2012 by wapiti

[Forget-Me-Not]

No real advice . . . I had a brother who wet the bed until he was at least 18, maybe longer. My parents tried everything available at the time--alarms, limiting fluids, getting him up in the middle of the night, DDAVP, he was tested for diabetes, etc etc etc. Nothing worked. He finally outgrew it on his own. Apparently my grandfather had the same problem and outgrew it as well. My brother is a very deep sleeper. Even after he outgrew the bedwetting, he'd sleep through his alarm which was very, very loud.

[clarkacademy]

We tried doctor visits... they would only give us a nose spray that encourages the bladder to wake up the boy... didn't really work...

 

We go through a mattress every year with him because while we buy plastic covers, those wear out and sometimes he doesn't tell us and they are ripped and his mattress gets icky and he doesn't want to own up to it...

 

If I give him incentives, such as 3 dry nights in a row and we go get ice cream, he stays dry. Works every time. Until I don't offer him the reward. Why can he stay dry for a reward and not stay dry without????? Baffles me. I don't like having to purchase rewards...

 

That is a discipline issue then. If he can stay dry to get something he can stay dry he just doesn't want too.

 

He wakes up wet, showers, gets his bedding in the wash, wipes down mattress... over and over.

 

Sounds like he may need something besides cleaning up his own mess done. If he can stay dry to get ice cream then he can be in trouble when he is wet

 

I try limiting his drinking after 6pm, but his dad doesn't and he often gets mad at me if I remind him....

 

Um, tough? My son is 13 he has autism among a ton of other stuff if he can be potty trained I don't want to hear that a normal development kid can't, my son even has seizures.

 

His mom (she died 5 years ago) wet the bed until she was 16. One of his older brothers wet the bed until he was over 14. Two of his older brothers never wet the bed. Sigh.

 

I know I have asked about this before... I am looking for some more ideas... If you used a specific medication and it worked, how old was your child? Is there a recommended med. I can specifically ask the Dr. for? My ped. is generally anti-bed-wetting medication, but she doesn't live here!!! Any tips for how to ask when I know the ped. doesn't like to prescribe them?

 

When I woke him this morning, it smelt SOOOOO bad and I feel bad for him and his brother who share a room... and I dislike the expense and every time I ask dh to buy the boy disposable underwear that lasts for like... one time... Dh just does what he always does, lets the boy wet the bed and wash everything each morning.

 

Anyway, thanks...

 

Again if he can stay dry to get something then he can stay dry period. I don't see how this would not upset a father that his 13 year old son is choosing to wet his bed.I don't see how meds would help.

 

My step sister was like this. They tried everything under the sun. Every med, every alarm everything. They had countless medical tests done. Finally after numerous diagnosis from countless doc my mom excepted she was lazy like every doc said.

 

She could stay dry to get a reward. By her teen years no one wanted to be around her. She constantly stunk. Her room stunk. Her teen years her highschool years were very lonely. She was always depressed. Finally our very much older brother in his 30's by then freaked out on her when she wet one of his couch cusions while wide awake.

 

Brand new 1800 couch just bought the week before. He went off on her told her that is why she has no friends, why no one likes her, told her she smells he was ruthless. Everyone was mad until they noticed something, she stopped. Never had another issue again after that. She was 17 years old. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

You need to protect the mattress. Get a full mattress protector, then put more washables or disposables on top of that. If he wets nightly, put him in pull ups. Tranquility makes diapers that would fit fine. If he consistently stays dry for rewards, maybe he should see a psychologist.

 

I would also have a sleep study done.

[sassenach]

Bed wetting runs in my family. I really feel when there is a genetic component, there's really not much you can do about it. Mag supplements helped ds a bit, but mostly he just had to outgrow it. Don't make him feel bad, he really can't help it. It's a terrible feeling.

[Samiam]

Have you considered chiropractic care? It solved my son's bed wetting issues within a month, after we had tried several other things, and that was the only thing we did during that month. It works. It doesn't work overnight. Expect to take a month or even two months. Don't go for a two weeks and then say it didn't work.

 

IMHO, I'd be doing alot more to get it solved. At that age, it has to be horribly damaging to his self-esteem. I'd be focusing on it hard-core to help him fix it. I am sure it's nothing he can do on his own. I'd be trying every method until something worked.

Edited July 7, 2012 by Samiam

[mom2samlibby]

I have a 13 year old bedwetter too. One thing that had helped for awhile earlier this year was doing a parasite cleanse with Humaworm. It stopped for quite awhile after that, so I thought we had it all figured out. He's back to wetting the bed again, so he either needs to do it again, or it didn't help like I thought it did. We've done some work with chiropractic and accupunture. They help for a couple of days, but no long term solution yet.

 

We went back to pull ups at night. I know they cost money, but it helps with the smell and all the extra wash.

 

I took him into the doctor a couple of weeks ago, but they didn't really push medication.

 

I'm hoping he outgrows it soon. My son sleeps very, very hard, so I think that is part of the problem.

[Cera]

If a reward system works why not just use that?

[*********]

Ok, no *normal* 13 year old boy wets the bed because he's too lazy to get up.

 

So either your son has a medical condtion that he cannot control, or he is so lazy that he will lay in his own urine.

 

Look, I've BTDT. And I don't know your boy, but usually it's just that their body will outgrow it when they're ready. And yes, sometiems that's older than 13.

 

There's no need for rewards, punishments, or anything. It just IS. You get a good mattress protector, and he deals with his laundry.

[Momof3littles]

I would look into medical causes:

Sleep study

adenoids?

constipation has been linked to persistent bedwetting. There was a recent study on this. The study was on children ages 5-15 with persistent bedwetting, and they point out the constipation was not obvious and parents were not aware of it.

http://children.webmd.com/news/20120130/study-constipation-may-cause-bedwetting

 

Is it possible he doesn't sleep as deeply if he's amped up about getting the reward? Maybe that is why it works? Have you tried gradually increasing the period of time he needs to stay dry before he gets the reward?

 

If you rule out medical causes, I would see a behaviorist or psychologist to discuss how to fade out the reward.

 

I would address the medical end of things first...there are causes that are not obvious, and at that age I don't think you'd be overreacting to push for answers as to whether it could be sleep apnea, enlarged adenoids (see an ENT?), or a constipation issue. I doubt at 13 he wants to wet the bed, even if rewards do seem to "work" for him, so I'd be looking at the medical end of things first and getting those concerns ruled in or out.

 

eta: I strongly disagree with shaming, punishing, or making him otherwise feel badly about it. I don't buy "lazy" whatsoever either. I just don't. Clearly at 13 a kid wants to stay dry. The rewards may seem to "work" but it may be because he doesn't sleep as deeply those nights in an effort to stay dry, for example.

Edited July 7, 2012 by Momof3littles

[Starr]

He could be keeping himself from sleeping well to stay dry when you offer a reward which could be a long term problem as well.

[HiddenJewel]

We have late bedwetting in our family so I have been keeping my ear tuned as our son is now 5. One thing that I have gleaned is that providing nervous system support helps some.

[1Togo]

BTDT. We explored every.single.explanation/method/option mentioned in this thread.

 

Pacific International solved the problem. It was worth every penny.

Edited July 7, 2012 by 1Togo

[bettyandbob]

I suspect when you offer a reward he's trying hard to not sleep.

 

You need to invest in better mattress protection. I just put a zip around cover on my ds's mattress. Then I got several of the elastic covers. Every time we change the bed we pull off the elastic cover--it's machine washable and put it in the machine with his sheets.

 

I'd consider an elimination diet--bed wetting is linked to allergies.

 

I also recommend chiropractic.

 

Chiropractic and allergy elimination helped greatly decrease the frequency of wetting for my oldest dc. Oldest did grow out of it. My youngest has down syndrome, so growing out of this stage is a little more complicated.

[swellmomma]

No answers going through the same thing only I don't buy new mattresses every year, I use the carpet cleaner on them.

 

He is 14 in a couple months and still wets nightly. We have tried medication, waking up at night, limiting drinks, rewards, etc NOTHING had worked. EVen doubling the meds didn't work, he still wet.

 

I may look into that parasite cleanse, can't hurt to try.

 

I have also been looking at doing a major elimination diet, the problem is he has camp in a couple weeks right in the middle of the time I need to really check him, and then 2 weeks after that is single parents family camp. So I don't think we can do a full elimination diet until mid August.

[Laurie4b]

Bed wetting runs in my family. I really feel when there is a genetic component, there's really not much you can do about it. Mag supplements helped ds a bit, but mostly he just had to outgrow it. Don't make him feel bad, he really can't help it. It's a terrible feeling.

 

:iagree: If the family doesn't make a big issue over it, it will be fine and not damage his self-esteem. We had some late bedwetters in our family and when I'd discretely tell another mom when there was to be an overnight, I sometimes found out that some of the peers also still had similar issues as teens. It's not rare.

 

Pull ups are important. Why can't you buy them if dh won't?

 

If the mattress has urine soaked in it, you need to get a new one and put a vinyl cover on it to protect the mattress longterm. Then when he washes his bedding, there won't be problems with odors.

 

Really, if it's a physiological problem, nothing the family does should have a hint of shaming in it.

[Momof3littles]

I already posted upthread, but for mattress cleaning, have you tried an enzyme cleaner? I would use Nature's Miracle or BioKleen Bac Out. They work amazingly well on urine, vomit, etc.

[Wyndie]

Gluten was the trigger for my son's bed wetting. He hasn't wet since being GF.

 

My good friend has a 13 year old bed wetter. She started a homeopathic remedy for it and she has stopped. As long as she takes one dose before bed, the child stays dry. Might be worth looking in to as homeopathy is pretty inexpensive...certainly cheaper than a new mattress every year. :)

[AK_Mom4]

:grouphug:

sorry.... we haven't been through this with our kids, but did have some foster kids with this problem.

 

My Best Tips For Saving Mattresses and Keeping the Smell Under Control:

1 - zip on vinyl covers. These are MUCH cheaper than mattresses and are washable. Get two and put them both on the mattress. If one tears, the other will still be in place.

2 - elastic corner vinyl covers - get two of these and put them on the mattress over the zip ons. These are generally cheaper than zip on ones and while washable, don't last as long. But again, if they tear, you have another layer below.

3 - finally - Invest in TWO WATERPROOF mattress pads with elastic corners. These cost a bit more than the regular kind, but are long lasting and washable. They have a waterproof layer in between two cloth covers. We used these instead of a bottom sheet.

 

When they get wet, you strip the bedding and pad and put them in the wash. Put the 2nd pad on the bed, add a top sheet and blankets and the bed is made.

 

With 5 layers of waterproof, the mattress stays clean. With the waterproof pads getting washed each time, you don't get the smell build up that makes the room so awful. This may seem like overkill, but mattresses cost $$$$ and it's well worth it to not have the smell in the house.

 

ETA: an occasionaly wipe down with baking soda works if the vinyl layers start getting whiffy.....

Edited July 7, 2012 by AK_Mom4

[JennyD]

I can't speak to the bedwetting itself, but is it possible for someone to take him to the bathroom during the night? My 7yo is still not dry at night and while he wears pullups, DH takes him to the bathroom before he himself goes to sleep, around midnight, and it saves both the bed and -- usually -- the pullup. (Unbelievably, DS doesn't even wake up for this bathroom trip.) Not sure if this would work with a 13yo's sleep schedule, though.

[Katy]

No advice on how to stop it, but I do have some on how to manage it, having worked in nursing:

 

 

 

1. Non-disposable, washable, cloth pullups (Sew or find someone to sew for you)
   
2. Bed pads (the kind that nursing homes and hospitals use, here's an example: http://www.amazon.com/Reusable-Bedpads-34x36-absorbs-1000cc/dp/B0002DMPFS )
   
3. Put the folded pads in a nightstand right next to his bed. Make him in charge of putting them on the bed when he makes it. Supervise him the first several times to make sure he does it, and periodic spot checks for the next 6 months to make sure no more mattresses are being ruined.
   
4. I'd make him wash his laundry too, and to manage it I'd use a diaper pail with water & vinegar or use a wet bag like this one: http://blogs.babycenter.com/life_and_home/diaper-tins-out-wet-bags-in/
   

 

Edited July 7, 2012 by Katy
to fix typo

[HalonaD]

DH brought DS13 to the urologist 2 months ago. She suggested that in addition to a bed-wetting alarm and no liquids after supper, that during the day he drink water often, to increase his bladder capacity. He has been dry at nights ever since :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

enuresis treatment center. No doubt. I would do it for ANY child over 8 without the slightest bit of hesitation. I would FIND the money. I wish I hadn't waited so long for my ds.

 

And I would definitely NOT limit fluids or do any other counterproductive things like that (waking them up at 11pm, or whatever).

 

No doubt you've done every diet trick and chiropractor and such anyway.

 

Even if he did "grow out of" the bedwetting part, he'd still have the underlying issue. I'd want THAT fixed which means treating it, not just waiting.

[sassenach]

Again if he can stay dry to get something then he can stay dry period. I don't see how this would not upset a father that his 13 year old son is choosing to wet his bed.I don't see how meds would help.

 

My step sister was like this. They tried everything under the sun. Every med, every alarm everything. They had countless medical tests done. Finally after numerous diagnosis from countless doc my mom excepted she was lazy like every doc said.

 

She could stay dry to get a reward. By her teen years no one wanted to be around her. She constantly stunk. Her room stunk. Her teen years her highschool years were very lonely. She was always depressed. Finally our very much older brother in his 30's by then freaked out on her when she wet one of his couch cusions while wide awake.

 

Brand new 1800 couch just bought the week before. He went off on her told her that is why she has no friends, why no one likes her, told her she smells he was ruthless. Everyone was mad until they noticed something, she stopped. Never had another issue again after that. She was 17 years old. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

 

I completely 100% disagree.

 

Wide awake peeing on a couch is a completely different ballpark than normal late wetting. That sounds like a mental illness (possibly brought on or exacerbated by the abusive family dynamics).

[BatmansWife]

No advice, sorry.....just :grouphug:. I think it's great you are wanting to help him. I feel badly for him. It's got to be frustrating to you both and possibly embarrassing to him. I can still remember when I was 9 years old watching the movie The Loneliest Runner. I remember feeling so bad for that boy and so mad at his mother.

[Parrothead]

Grossly grossly abusive and inappropriate to talk this way to a child.

I wouldn't call a 17-year old a child.

[Rosie_0801]

Have you considered chiropractic care? It solved my son's bed wetting issues within a month, after we had tried several other things, and that was the only thing we did during that month. It works. It doesn't work overnight. Expect to take a month or even two months. Don't go for a two weeks and then say it didn't work.

 

:iagree: The oldest kid my chiro has treated for bedwetting was 16.

 

 

Rosie

[sheryl]

Bee,

 

You've ruled out diabetes? Is he allergic to anything? Allergy testing? Have you monitored the number of ounces he drinks a day. Give him a sports bottle (gatorade comes in many different sizes, but a common one for summer is 32 oz) and see how many bottles he goes through.

 

Next, you may consider a neurologist examine him to rule out other things.

 

However, you do know that some of his relatives did inherit the same condition so it may be that he will just have to outgrow it.

[banker281]

My niece wet the bed until she was 12, she lost her mom to a heart attack. We would wake her up at night and have her go to the bathroom. That seemed to work for her to stay dry.

[Sunshine Mom]

I didn't read all the comments, so forgive me if this was mentioned. Bedwetting ran in my family, and for many of us, it was till 12-14ish.

 

I have FINALLY found a cause! Dairy intolerance. My kids stopped wetting the bed and my 3 year old was able to make it to the bathroom without leaking after I removed all homoginized dairy. Interestingly, raw milk is not a problem.

[clarkacademy]

I completely 100% disagree.

 

Wide awake peeing on a couch is a completely different ballpark than normal late wetting. That sounds like a mental illness (possibly brought on or exacerbated by the abusive family dynamics).

 

 

Exuse me? Abusive family what????? This went on for years and no one even said BOO in risk of hurting her feelings. She did it awake and asleep didn't matter. My parents spent thousands upon thousands of dollars for every doc, therapists and gimmick out there including diet.

 

It took an adult finally standing up saying Enough this is not right for that kid to get a grip. Abusive......She thanked my brother years later. She could finally have a sleepover and be next to people who didn't say she stinks. I think it is abusive to let your kid lay in their urine.

 

Abusive. I can see my mother scrubbing couches and everything else after working 14 hour days.

[Woodhaven]

I am know a lot of others have already answered you and I haven't read their posts. Just fyi.

 

Anyway, my 2nd ds had that kind of problem. He wet his bed repeatedly every night. Every night! Those pull-up underpants for older kids just didn't absorb enough. We did the whole plastic sheet followed by cloth sheet, followed by another plastic sheet and cloth sheet, etc. This way we could pull off the wet layer so he wouldn't have to spend the rest of the night in it.

 

When I mentioned the problem to the doctor, he strongly suggested a silent alarm - one that vibrated agressively, and woke the child up, but not the rest of the family. We used "Potty Pager" and there was a difference right away! The littlest amount of liquid set it off. The vibrating was very strong and always woke him even from the deepest sleep. He QUICKLY woke up when the alarm set off, and held the rest until he made it to the bathroom.

 

That purchase made such a difference in his life. It gave him control of something that had humiliated him. We never teased him, but his brothers all knew that every morning, he was soaking and his room just stank!.

 

After 6 to 9 months he no longer needed it. But the transition was quick after the first night he wore the Potty Pager. Wearing it every night trained his mind to wake up from deep sleep and recognize he needed to go to the bathroom.

 

I hope you find something that works for him!

[EKS]

Again if he can stay dry to get something then he can stay dry period. I don't see how this would not upset a father that his 13 year old son is choosing to wet his bed.I don't see how meds would help.

 

My step sister was like this. They tried everything under the sun. Every med, every alarm everything. They had countless medical tests done. Finally after numerous diagnosis from countless doc my mom excepted she was lazy like every doc said.

 

She could stay dry to get a reward. By her teen years no one wanted to be around her. She constantly stunk. Her room stunk. Her teen years her highschool years were very lonely. She was always depressed. Finally our very much older brother in his 30's by then freaked out on her when she wet one of his couch cusions while wide awake.

 

Brand new 1800 couch just bought the week before. He went off on her told her that is why she has no friends, why no one likes her, told her she smells he was ruthless. Everyone was mad until they noticed something, she stopped. Never had another issue again after that. She was 17 years old. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

 

I had something similar happen with my now 16yo when he was 11ish. He had been dry at night for years and then he suddenly started wetting the bed. I had a hunch that it was because he was too lazy to get out of bed to go the the bathroom at night, so I told him that it was totally unacceptable to pee in the bed. Period. Problem solved.

 

He now tells me that I was right, BTW.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I have seen this mentioned in other threads on bedwetting, but i dont think ive seen it here yet.

 

We are not supposed to need the bathroom while sleeping.

 

I have sleep apnea. On the rare occassion i sleep with my cpap machine, i will get up 1-2 to pee. With cpap, i have not had to ever get up a single time. When people are treated for sleep apnea, thats usually the first thing they notice (before feeling better and all the other positives that come from treating sleep disorders).

[Momof3littles]

How do we know what lazy feels like to the child though? I mean, if you are dealing with something like sleep apnea or a sleep related issue, a kid isn't going to say, "hey mom and dad? I think I might have sleep apnea." Maybe it is just extra hard for them to rouse themselves. Maybe they feel "lazy" as a result when they've already been strapped with that label. I think this is where "diagnosing" a child with laziness isn't particularly helpful. I sincerely doubt that in most otherwise typically developing kids it is laziness. Even if they agree, how do you know for sure it isn't a sleep issue making it tough for them to rouse themselves, for example? (not entirely in their control). I don't think most teens are going to diagnose themselves with that.

 

eta: just crossposted with amo_mea above. Agree with her, except I don't have sleep apnea. IIRC there is a hormonal shift that happens during sleep that should cause you not to have to pee (or as frequently). Things like SA can wreak havoc with that.

Edited July 7, 2012 by Momof3littles

[EKS]

How do we know what lazy feels like to the child though? I mean, if you are dealing with something like sleep apnea or a sleep related issue, a kid isn't going to say, "hey mom and dad? I think I might have sleep apnea." Maybe it is just extra hard for them to rouse themselves. I think this is where "diagnosing" a child with laziness isn't particularly helpful. I sincerely doubt that in most otherwise typically developing kids it is laziness. Even if they agree, how do you know for sure it isn't a sleep issue making it tough for them to rouse themselves, for example? (not entirely in their control). I don't think most teens are going to diagnose themselves with that.

 

I'm not talking about a sleep issue or other medical issue.

 

My son's room has a loft in it that he moved he bed into when he was 10 or so. I believe (and he agrees with me now) that he was too lazy to climb down to go to the bathroom after he moved up there. I didn't notice sooner because he was doing his own laundry at that point.

 

The reason that I believed this was the case is that he was perfectly fine prior to moving up to the loft.

 

The point is that it it *is* possible that the child is doing this willfully.

[Lisa in Jax]

We tried doctor visits... they would only give us a nose spray that encourages the bladder to wake up the boy... didn't really work...

 

We go through a mattress every year with him because while we buy plastic covers, those wear out and sometimes he doesn't tell us and they are ripped and his mattress gets icky and he doesn't want to own up to it...

 

If I give him incentives, such as 3 dry nights in a row and we go get ice cream, he stays dry. Works every time. Until I don't offer him the reward. Why can he stay dry for a reward and not stay dry without????? Baffles me. I don't like having to purchase rewards...

 

He wakes up wet, showers, gets his bedding in the wash, wipes down mattress... over and over.

 

I try limiting his drinking after 6pm, but his dad doesn't and he often gets mad at me if I remind him....

 

His mom (she died 5 years ago) wet the bed until she was 16. One of his older brothers wet the bed until he was over 14. Two of his older brothers never wet the bed. Sigh.

 

I know I have asked about this before... I am looking for some more ideas... If you used a specific medication and it worked, how old was your child? Is there a recommended med. I can specifically ask the Dr. for? My ped. is generally anti-bed-wetting medication, but she doesn't live here!!! Any tips for how to ask when I know the ped. doesn't like to prescribe them?

 

When I woke him this morning, it smelt SOOOOO bad and I feel bad for him and his brother who share a room... and I dislike the expense and every time I ask dh to buy the boy disposable underwear that lasts for like... one time... Dh just does what he always does, lets the boy wet the bed and wash everything each morning.

 

Anyway, thanks...

 

Have you ruled out dairy allergies? Magnesium deficiency? Sensitivity to peanut butter?

 

I was a "late" bed wetter. When I was 13, my mom got me a supplement called dolomite. The first night i took it, I was dry. I kept taking it for about three months -- I never wet the bed again. Dolomite is calcium carbonate and magnesium. I don't think dolomite is recommended anymore, but a cal/mag supplement is very similar, and may help.

 

I know that another issue for me was dairy, b/c when I was a child, I was more likely to wet the bed if I had dairy after dinner. To this day, if I drink milk after about 8 o'clock at night, I have to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.

 

My son (who was adopted) also had a dairy sensitivity. He wet the bed until he was six, but when we went gluten- and dairy-free (for other reasons), he stopped wetting the bed.

 

Through this board, I've learned that peanut butter is a trigger for some kids' wetting. So, if a cal/mag supplement doesn't work, try removing dairy. If that doesn't work, limit or remove peanut butter.

 

IMHO, if there's no structural issue, constipation or bladder/urinary tract infection, it's very likely a food sensitivity or vitamin/mineral deficiency is the culprit. With a bit of trial and error, you should find a solution.

 

Lisa

[JennifersLost]

The silent alarm worked very well here, after years and years of trying everything else, including diets, etc.

 

The silent alarm helps the brain make the connection between a full bladder and the need to wake up which for whatever reason isn't developed in these kids.

 

At this point you want to help your child. I waited for years to try the alarm because I thought it was "mean". I wish, wish, wish I would have done it years earlier. That child took so much damage to the self-esteem over this problem - every kid over four knows they're not supposed to wet the bed, no matter how nice you are about it. Plus all the rest of the unpleasantness.

 

If you haven't tried the silent alarm, I would try it before doing anything else. Works wonders.

[Scuff]

For the mattress, they have mattress pads that are like regular mattress pads, but with plastic on one side. We got our at Walmart for about $20 and they've held up well for a few years. Much more durable than the plastic zipper bag thing we had before that. We went through a few of those a year and it would always be torn for a bit before J realized it.

[heart'sjoy]

We used MALEM bought used off ebay.

 

We followed the instructions:

Waking the child when the alarm goes off and walking with them to the bathroom. The idea is hang with them until they are awake enough to change themselves and the bed if old enough. This took about 5 nights. Then my child could wake themselves and get to the bathroom for 5 nights. At this point we switched the alarm to silent. Child still made it to the bathroom. Every week there was a little less urine on the bed and a little more made it to the toilet. About 6 weeks with 2 more weeks for weaning off the alarm got the job done. The instructions were veryc lear what to do if there was a relapse and how long to allow the brain the retrain at each phase.

[Momof3littles]

I'm not talking about a sleep issue or other medical issue.

 

My son's room has a loft in it that he moved he bed into when he was 10 or so. I believe (and he agrees with me now) that he was too lazy to climb down to go to the bathroom after he moved up there. I didn't notice sooner because he was doing his own laundry at that point.

 

The reason that I believed this was the case is that he was perfectly fine prior to moving up to the loft.

 

The point is that it it *is* possible that the child is doing this willfully.

But I still assert it can be intertwined with the medical without it being obvious. For example, perhaps it is more difficult to wake up and get down the ladder if you have sleep issues like apnea, kwim? It may seem "lazy," but I still feel strongly that most teenagers engaging in nighttime wetting are not going to pee out of laziness. I just don't buy it. Even if it seems that way, I would still put the probability on something like sleep apnea or similar for most kids. I simply don't buy that laziness is a likely culprit in a teenager who still urinates in the bed.

 

I understand you disagree based on your circumstances. I'm trying to point out that the "lazy" designation may still possibly overlap with medical causes. Most people aren't going to know their kid has sleep apnea, and the kid may have difficulty rousing himself and therefore agree he is "lazy" if asked.

Edited July 8, 2012 by Momof3littles

[Denisemomof4]

Exuse me? Abusive family what????? This went on for years and no one even said BOO in risk of hurting her feelings. She did it awake and asleep didn't matter. My parents spent thousands upon thousands of dollars for every doc, therapists and gimmick out there including diet.

 

It took an adult finally standing up saying Enough this is not right for that kid to get a grip. Abusive......She thanked my brother years later. She could finally have a sleepover and be next to people who didn't say she stinks. I think it is abusive to let your kid lay in their urine.

 

Abusive. I can see my mother scrubbing couches and everything else after working 14 hour days.

 

I am wondering if you ever found out WHY your sister did this? It is so hard to understand why someone would do this, fully awake, people around, and walk around smelling all the time. :confused:

[HiddenJewel]

I would think that a person that was wetting the bed because of laziness would also exhibit this characteristic in the rest of his/her life.

[EKS]

But I still assert it can be intertwined with the medical without it being obvious. For example, perhaps it is more difficult to wake up and get down the ladder if you have sleep issues like apnea, kwim? It may seem "lazy," but I still feel strongly that most teenagers engaging in nighttime wetting are not going to pee out of laziness. I just don't buy it. Even if it seems that way, I would still put the probability on something like sleep apnea or similar for most kids. I simply don't buy that laziness is a likely culprit in a teenager who still urinates in the bed.

 

I understand you disagree based on your circumstances. I'm trying to point out that the "lazy" designation may still possibly overlap with medical causes. Most people aren't going to know their kid has sleep apnea, and the kid may have difficulty rousing himself and therefore agree he is "lazy" if asked.

 

I agree with you--my point was that it *is* possible that it is willful. Once confronted with the issue, my son stopped wetting the bed.

[EKS]

I would think that a person that was wetting the bed because of laziness would also exhibit this characteristic in the rest of his/her life.

 

I would say that my son did exhibit this characteristic in other parts of his life. Which is probably why I chose to assume it was laziness before embarking on a search for the cause via the medical establishment.

[clarkacademy]

I am wondering if you ever found out WHY your sister did this? It is so hard to understand why someone would do this, fully awake, people around, and walk around smelling all the time. :confused:

 

She once told us that it never seemed like a big deal:confused: Until my brother said something. See no one ever said anything to her about it ever. We couldn't hurt her wittle feelings. Her grandma (not mine) wouldn't allow you to say BOO to her and my mother didn't wanna ever start drama because my step-dad was a firm believer that you respect your parents and his mother blah blah blah......

[Forget-Me-Not]

I have seen this mentioned in other threads on bedwetting, but i dont think ive seen it here yet.

 

We are not supposed to need the bathroom while sleeping.

 

I have sleep apnea. On the rare occassion i sleep with my cpap machine, i will get up 1-2 to pee. With cpap, i have not had to ever get up a single time. When people are treated for sleep apnea, thats usually the first thing they notice (before feeling better and all the other positives that come from treating sleep disorders).

 

This is an excellent point. Frequent nighttime bathroom trips can be a symptom of sleep apnea. And not all sleep apneics snore or fit a certain biophysical profile. It would definitely warrant have a sleep study done.

[Adrienne_in_TX]

I haven't read all the responses, but my 10 year old was still soaking a pull-up nightly and our doctor put him on Desmopressin. It's a medication that suppresses urine production at night. She started us on 1 pill a night and told us to increase the dose every few days until we hit one that works. We're at 2 and having some, although not perfect, success.

 

We try to limit fluids after 7 pm as well.

 

Here's the info we got from our pediatrician:

 

Bedwetting, if not from a physical abnormality, is largely hereditary. The age when older family members stopped bedwetting is usually the age around when it will stop for your kids.

 

Alarms work for about as many children as they don't work for.

 

Same advice about the pills. She told us that if 3 pills didn't do the trick that they weren't going to work for him.

 

So, we do the pills, use pull-ups, have a plastic mattress protector on the bed, and wait.

 

However, I would say that if he can have success for reward over a span of several days, there is likely a psychological/personality aspect. You might have a conversation about the fact that you've noticed that he is able to have some success with small rewards and that you want to find ways to help him be successful. Although I'm not a fan of bribing, reward is a great motivator. You might offer a larger, more coveted reward for longer-term success. If he is willing to try that approach, with the full understanding that there will be no judgement, this could give you a better indication of his control over the situation.