butterflymommy Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've had internet access since the dawn of internet access, but it's only recently that I've got it in my head to google exBFs from the dark ages of my pre-married life. I have no interest in reconnecting, but I've suddenly found myself with an intense curiosity about what happened to ----- or ----- (and a few more -----s ). I googled two names and one is a professor and the other has an inoperable cancer-- that gentleman keeps a detailed blog about his life. I didn't make contact and don't plan to-- I'm glad to relegate those relationships to the scrapheap of history, but, thanks to the internet, my curiosity can get the better of me. Does anyone else do this? Have you found out anything interesting? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Not exes, but I'm friends with a few of them on FB. I have been known to periodically google a certain guy from high school Spanish class, who apparently went on to become a rocket scientist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yeah. :blushing: I found two interesting life stories: One was a med student I dated while he was doing an internship in my city. Now he's a small town doctor, an elected official, and a leader of a medical missions team. He's got an absolutely gorgeous wife who seems to suit him perfectly, three super cute sons, and two tiny daughters adopted from Ethiopia. I knew his family before I knew him (weird story), and they had lots and lots of struggles, so I am thrilled to pieces at his happy-ever-after story. The other interesting one was a foreign exchange student that I knew pretty well in high school. He's now one of Poland's most popular and successful playwrights. He deals in humor, social commentary, and very deep theological and political issues. I really, really like what I've learned about his adult life and wish we could be friends again now. Did I contact him? Not on your life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MindyD Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I'm facebook friends with one ex. His uncle goes to my parent's church so I'd get updates on him anyway. I'll never escape the small town syndrome no matter how far away I move! There is one guy that I googled just because I really wanted to know how his life turned out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I was curious about the guy that I thought was THE Guy. We came w/in 20 mins of being married (we were eloping to city hall, late for our appt, figured we'd just do it another time, since we hadn't invited anyone...ended up breaking up). Before Wolf came along, I honestly thought that this guy was it, and since it didn't work w/him, I was meant to be alone. Anyways. Googled him a cpl of yrs ago now. Found his obit. :crying: A non smoker, he was a welder and died of lung cancer. Wolf found me a sobbing mess when he got home from work. Thankfully, he understood, and was supportive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yep, a guy that I dated for most of my highschool days. We kept in touch for years after we split, but his wife asked us to not be in contact, so we respect that. I would LOVE to contact him and chat. We had a long distance relationship for years, so our connection was more like BFFs who were also intimate. LOL I really miss him, even now. I know he feels the same, but I won't try to contact him to honor her wishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I always dated older guys. And now I'm so old that I'm sure they are all dead. But, I figure ex's are ex's for a reason. If I find out they are doing terrible in life I will feel bad for them. If I find out they are successful and doing well, I might feel terrible for me. Looking backwards is a no win for me. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joani Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've done it. I briefly dated a few different men before I met Dh and checked them out online. That led me to googling the names of my high school and college boyfriends, but nothing too interesting came up. One oil exec, two accountants and a gym teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've googled and emailed many people from my youth, and in almost all cases I've gotten friendly, funny emails back from people who are progressing in life. I've actually only been stiffed by one guy from college, one I even corresponded with and visited after he was married. He has become a "pillar of the community", rather religious ("I'll pray for you" on his blog), and is still heavily involved with what I view as reverse racism (I had to laugh when my wedding looked like a meeting at the UN, and his was all white bread). I have a funny feeling he gets a clamp of fear when he hears from anyone from his wild couple of years at a small college on the west coast. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Only if I'm very bored. Let's just say that my taste in men improved over the years. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frugalmama Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've never dated, so nobody to google. But I do occasionally google a few people I knew from college to see what they are doing now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juniper Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 My ex fiance and I are FB friends. Now, my first love is a different story (a tragic story). Just last week his best friend sent me an friend request. He was a really nice guy so I accepted. I had done a search for my first love and could never find him on FB so I didn't pause in accepting the friend request. Only after we chatted and the sister of our mutual "friend" commented did I think, "Oh, crud! I bet he's on here." Sure enough:glare: He lives in Germany now. He still doesn't come up in my fb searches, but he's there :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I was curious about the guy that I thought was THE Guy. We came w/in 20 mins of being married (we were eloping to city hall, late for our appt, figured we'd just do it another time, since we hadn't invited anyone...ended up breaking up). Before Wolf came along, I honestly thought that this guy was it, and since it didn't work w/him, I was meant to be alone. Anyways. Googled him a cpl of yrs ago now. Found his obit. :crying: A non smoker, he was a welder and died of lung cancer. Wolf found me a sobbing mess when he got home from work. Thankfully, he understood, and was supportive. That kind of thing just sucks so much! I didn't really date the guy when we were in grad school, but I knew he was interested and we were good friends. I found out what happened, like the way you did, and I cried really hard. It took a long time to get over it. I regret to this day. We lost touch and I should have contacted him sooner. It's still painful for me to think about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 That kind of thing just sucks so much! I didn't really date the guy when we were in grad school, but I knew he was interested and we were good friends. I found out what happened, like the way you did, and I cried really hard. It took a long time to get over it. I regret to this day. We lost touch and I should have contacted him sooner. It's still painful for me to think about it. It was best that we didn't keep in touch. There's no way I could have moved on if he had continued to be in my life, b/c the hope of 'what if' and 'maybe' would have kept me waiting forever. Thankfully, I met and fell in love w/Wolf. It just broke my heart to find out he died. He wasn't even 40. I was totally fine w/having moved on, but knowing he was out there, living his life, (when I knew him he had a dd, in his obit, he'd had 2 more kids) and hoping he'd found happiness (he was bipolar, unmedicated I found out after we broke up)...and finding out that he was gone just shattered me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommee & Baba Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I have, yes. I personally would love nothing more than to know they have "happily ever afters". That's all though.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Me, no I would never do that. :blush: I found one is living his dream job. A few others seem perfectly happy, for which I am glad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 It was best that we didn't keep in touch. There's no way I could have moved on if he had continued to be in my life, b/c the hope of 'what if' and 'maybe' would have kept me waiting forever. Thankfully, I met and fell in love w/Wolf. It just broke my heart to find out he died. He wasn't even 40. I was totally fine w/having moved on, but knowing he was out there, living his life, (when I knew him he had a dd, in his obit, he'd had 2 more kids) and hoping he'd found happiness (he was bipolar, unmedicated I found out after we broke up)...and finding out that he was gone just shattered me. Well, there were no what if's because he married right out of grad school (I was a year ahead so I left the state when I graduated) and I had no plans to get married until much later. He had a wife and 2 little girls and was not even 40. I kind of wish I didn't google because it changes things - it's hard to explain. It's one thing to not have any contact with a person yet assume he's around and another thing...., well, like this. There's an imbalance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I actually wanted to and then I realized that I can't remember anyone's names! First names, yes, but not last names. :blushing: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Well, there were no what if's because he married right out of grad school (I was a year ahead so I left the state when I graduated) and I had no plans to get married until much later. He had a wife and 2 little girls and was not even 40. I kind of wish I didn't google because it changes things - it's hard to explain. It's one thing to not have any contact with a person yet assume he's around and another thing...., well, like this. There's an imbalance. Yeah, I get it. There's some sort of...peace? in knowing they're out there...You can imagine that they're happy and enjoying their life...to know that they're gone, there's def a sense of loss. I know for me, knowing that his dd (I never knew his other kids, they happened after he and I were long over w/) wouldn't have a Daddy that adored her in her life...that was the worst. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KAR120C Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 No one I ever dated was anyone I've wanted to give two seconds of thought to since... lol But I did look up a kid I was in kindergarten with, whose parents divorced that year and he moved away and I never saw him again (not tragic or anything, but one of those weird things you remember 35 years later when you can't sleep)... and he had a conveniently unusual name. According to his FB page he's an airline pilot and looks exactly the same as he did in kindergarten! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I actually wanted to and then I realized that I can't remember anyone's names! First names, yes, but not last names. :blushing:I'm horrible with names. Just horrible. I once dated a guy who lived across the border from me (I was in Canada, he was in the US), and for the life of me couldn't remember the his last name. You can only ask so many times (somewhere between 5 and 30) because it's just too darned embarrassing. He @#$^#@% proposed to me, and I couldn't even remember his last name. :blushing: We were way too young, and there's no way I would have considered marriage... but I couldn't continue to see him after that, even to "wait and see" because I was so embarrassed about not knowing his last name. He called my parents every year for a good ten years afterwards, wanting to know how I was doing and telling them what he was up to. He achieved his dream of becoming a high school gym teacher, working with troubled kids to help give them focus and direction. Great guy... but the name.... arrrgggggh. ETA: It just occurred to me that I couldn't Google him even if I wanted to. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yes. There were two individuals in whom I was particularly curious. I contacted them via LinkedIn - both emailed back, it was fun to catch up. It has been 40 years since I had been in contact with one of them and 25 years since I had been in contact with the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I am friends with most of them on Facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazyforlatin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yeah, I get it. There's some sort of...peace? in knowing they're out there...You can imagine that they're happy and enjoying their life...to know that they're gone, there's def a sense of loss. I know for me, knowing that his dd (I never knew his other kids, they happened after he and I were long over w/) wouldn't have a Daddy that adored her in her life...that was the worst. Yep, that's it. Google sucks sometimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DianeW88 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I am friends with most of them on Facebook. :iagree: I don't have to google them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I.Dup. Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yes, I have done this. :blushing: Found absolutely nothing interesting. My sister did google her serious high school boyfriend and found out he died and left behind a wife and 2 young children. She was really rather shocked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I can't find them!! :glare: My googlefu is broken. One *might* be a RPN, but i have no identifying information other than a name. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) I did this recently and found out the man I dated (and was engaged to) in college died recently. :sad: I think that has cured me of wanting to search for anyone else. Edited June 28, 2012 by jelbe5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yes - I will admit to doing this with a couple! :lol: I am casually in contact with a couple. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momtoamiracle Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 yes I've done that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BarbecueMom Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I've looked up one on Facebook. He's living an incredible life and doing amazing things. I'll be proud to vote for him someday, but I'm happy that the door shut on that relationship. It's not a life I'd want. I'm scared to look up the others. Two were sort of embarrassing in hindsight, and the other's probably still incarcerated (shot his father). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yeah, I looked up my high school crush. He is just as good looking as ever and a football addict. He married a cute, blond football addict and has a couple of cute, blond football addict daughters. I went and kissed my hubby and thanked him for not following the football. :D Can't remember my second crush's surname, and that one was far more serious since the interest was mutual. I'm sure he's just as good looking as ever, working as an accountant or economist and active in his church with a gorgeous, interesting wife and a couple of gorgeous kids. Shame about the religious differences. I'd have liked his mother as a MIL. :lol: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I'm friends with my highschool boyfriend on FB. Saw him last year at the reunion, too. He's doing well, but he's also a Truther. :001_huh: This would be the guy who thought my religious beliefs were kinda silly. College bf is not on FB but I saw his sister (a children's author) recently. From her demeanor I'm guessing that he might be divorced these days, which would be sad. :( If he was on FB I'd friend him. Other guys...well, I may have looked them up on FB hoping that they're doing well, but I have not made any moves to contact them. Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dealea86 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I was curious about the guy that I thought was THE Guy. We came w/in 20 mins of being married (we were eloping to city hall, late for our appt, figured we'd just do it another time, since we hadn't invited anyone...ended up breaking up). Before Wolf came along, I honestly thought that this guy was it, and since it didn't work w/him, I was meant to be alone. Anyways. Googled him a cpl of yrs ago now. Found his obit. :crying: A non smoker, he was a welder and died of lung cancer. Wolf found me a sobbing mess when he got home from work. Thankfully, he understood, and was supportive. I don't have any ex-boyfriends/fiances, but my first date died a couple years ago from lung cancer at age 27. We were never anything close to serious. It was a fun group date with other church friends. But still. I had a really hard time dealing with his death. He was a really great guy, a very devout Christian, a non-smoker, and so young. :crying: I felt like I walked around in a fog for days after finding out about him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) I have amends I need to make with one, but I haven't been able to easily find him. It would take paying for information to find him. I'm friends on FB with three of them. My entire family is friends with one; we live about 10 minutes apart and get together occasionally. The other two I'm glad I didn't end up with. Our lives are so different; I can't imagine being with them. Edited June 28, 2012 by joannqn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 My main highschool flame has an old page up...very little info on it, but it looks like I didn't miss much. (He was very good looking in high school...:tongue_smilie:) One of my college boyfriends is doing well. I'm glad I didn't marry him, and glad he found a nice wife. Good guy - not my guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I don't have any ex-boyfriends/fiances, but my first date died a couple years ago from lung cancer at age 27. We were never anything close to serious. It was a fun group date with other church friends. But still. I had a really hard time dealing with his death. He was a really great guy, a very devout Christian, a non-smoker, and so young. :crying: I felt like I walked around in a fog for days after finding out about him. Yeah, I was in tears on and off for days. It was ok that our relationship was over, I wasn't hurting over that, hadn't since pretty much the first time I talked to Wolf :tongue_smilie: but knowing he was out there was still comforting to me, somehow...hoping that he'd gotten healthy, and was finally happy. Learning that his chances were over, that he wouldn't get to see his dd grow up...heartrending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ksr5377 Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I hadn't before, but after reading this post I did. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I did, just this week, because I think I ran into his wife at swimming lessons this week. I knew her, too--separately. We've both been giving each other the "do I know you?" looks every day. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 No. I only really had one serious relationship before dh, and I've seen him on fb (not friends, though). I'm friends with several jr. high/high school crushes on fb too (who were regular friends by graduation), and it's been interesting to keep up with their lives a bit. I did discover through fb that my senior prom date (I asked him to the prom) is gay and now married to his partner. :001_huh: No wonder that never went anywhere. Can you say clueless??:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I think you people are all incredibly naive about how many marriages break up over someone contacting old boyfriend/girlfriends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I think you people are all incredibly naive about how many marriages break up over someone contacting old boyfriend/girlfriends. Not all! I said I left my auburn-moustached Polish movie director/playwright alone. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Not all! I said I left my auburn-moustached Polish movie director/playwright alone. :lol: LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munchkins_mama Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I think you people are all incredibly naive about how many marriages break up over someone contacting old boyfriend/girlfriends. True that. I have an ex that I don't contact because I know it's a BAD idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I did discover through fb that my senior prom date (I asked him to the prom) is gay and now married to his partner. :001_huh: No wonder that never went anywhere. Can you say clueless??:tongue_smilie: So many boys I had crushes on came out later on. I was quite clueless! There was this one boy I met when we were about 13, and for years I had a little crush on him. By the time we were 18 or so, I was starting to figure it out... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 Yes, but no interest in contacting. One ex-bf's son has six kids and he and his wife homeschool. That was kind of cool to find out! The guys I dated in college... well, let's just say that it didn't go well, and leave it at that. It's the main reason that I refuse to have a facebook account. I don't want them to find me. I have an old high school boyfriend whom I blocked on FB because I didn't want him to easily find me. I just don't think he'd take the time to look me up on someone else's account and figure it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 I am friends with several guys I dated in high school on FB. I read their posts but don't contact them personally. I have googled others just out of curiosity. One funny: 3 of my exes are all lawyers, but none of them ever talked about aspiring to go to law school when we were dating. One would have had to start applying shortly after we broke up if I figured my years correctly (we were both high school teachers when we were dating). I really do enjoy a good debate so it just kind of makes me wonder.... :lol: I also check up on DS's bio father from time to time. I would certainly never contact him, but I figure someday DS may want that information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dolphin Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) . Edited June 28, 2012 by Northwest_Mama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 No, I actually never think about it. I have googled names of childhood friends out of curiosity of where they are today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassy Posted June 28, 2012 Share Posted June 28, 2012 (edited) I'd have liked his mother as a MIL. :lol You know, I often think that if I could have my time again, and make my head rule my heart, I'd choose a husband based on how nice his mother was. No, I've never looked anyone up, I wouldn't want to waste any more time on men who were a waste of time in the first place (sad, but true :sad:). Edited June 28, 2012 by Cassy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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