BlsdMama Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I already know I will regret asking, but I wonder if extended nursing is gaining social acceptance? Ella. is my longest nurser and so far some have been surprised she nurses but no horrible reactions. :) So either society is changing OR it's because I'm close enough to Portland.:D How old is "too old" where you are from? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garddwr Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Honestly, I've never been aware of any negative reactions--I'm sure people have them, but they must keep them to themselves. Or they might glare at me and I just don't notice:001_smile:; then they probably go home and vent to their family/friends about how disgusting it is. It helps that in both my own and my husband's families extended nursing is not unusual. The "norm" in terms of average for mothers who nurse, seems to be around a year--and that's among mostly stay-at-home moms. My friends will often say things like "I couldn't wait to wean" but they have never voiced negative opinions of me for my more extended nursing. I have nursed until almost four years old before--actually, I think that child still nursed on rare occasions after turning four. I don't find that I nurse a lot in public after a child is about age 2--mostly just because they don't need to nurse often at that age. I would still do it if needed to calm a child who was upset, but my older kids mostly nurse as a sort of bed-time bonding/calming routine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I wasn't sure if you wanted the answer of what is socially expected where I live or what I personally think. I have found most people are very accepting of starting weaning at age one, understanding of weaning at age two and start to freak at little if weaning hasn't started by age three. My last two were two and a half and three and a half and I never heard a peep from anyone. My dd started weaning at about age three and she started to hear a few comments then that it was about time. Now it could be that I am a little bit more oblivious about other people's comment than some so I didn't pay much attention and therefore really don't know if people said anything or not. I do think that it is becoming more acceptable though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 It's been awhile since I've nursed, but I know for me, I started getting comments/stares after the boys turned 1. I personally felt uncomfortable with nursing my boys if they were over 2 and 1/2 or so. Luckily, both of mine decided to ween before that age. My oldest was 20 months and my youngest 23 months. It was bittersweet both times, but I was ready to have my body be my own again. Looking back I think the time I nursed was just right. I don't regret them weening and I don't regret continuing to nurse as long as I did. I'm not too concerned what society as a whole think, but for other people's comfort I would not nurse my boys over 18 months in public places. I would go to my car or a dressing room, for example. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 (edited) I don't think I would have been comfortable nursing much past 3 1/2/heading into 4, but I weaned my first at almost 3 because I was PG and couldn't take it any longer, and my second self-weaned at just past 2. Personally though, I couldn't care less what others do, and it doesn't squick me out at all to see others nursing older toddlers/children (I see it every week at co-op :D). As for what's generally accepted around here, I have no idea, but I never received any comments or stares etc. when nursing an up-to-two-year-old. I'm pretty oblivious too though. My family did make the occasional, fairly good-natured comment (annoying, but acceptable), but that's because they're not exactly advocates for nursing in the first place. Before me, the only other woman in the family who had nursed only did so for 2-3 months and was glad to be done by then, so my extended nursing was pretty radical for them! (My younger cousin did make a valiant effort but had no real supply with her first; she pumped for her second for a long time though.) Edited March 4, 2012 by melissel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roseyloxs Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 My youngest is still nursing. A few months ago it was still up to 4 times a day but I have been able to cut it down to just a bedtime feeding. She turns 3 this summer and I really want her to wean before that. She loves her milk though so I may be out of luck. I have nursed in public past 2 years of age and have never had any negative reactions. My mom has made a few comments but I sent her an article on all the benefits of extended nursing and she hasn't said anything since. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Somewhere at about a year, I have no big need to nurse in public, unless baby is exhausted and uncalmable before nap. My littlest is getting to that point now... *tear* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 There are extended nurses here, and the only negative things I have heard are about nursing older kids in public. I do not know why other people care, but we are a 'stick your nose in other people's business society' lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Mine have nursed from 2-4 years and DS2 is still nursing. I know several people who are still nursing 3, 4 and 5 year olds. It may just be the group of people that I usually associate with, but none of it has been seen as unusual. For me, too old is when the nursing relationship is no longer working for the mom & child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I get comments from my ILs after about 6 mo. :glare:, and I've received a few stares from people after my kids turned 1. I think that most people though that have a problem with extended nursing around here are the same ones that I think I should hole up in a bathroom stall or go to the car to nurse too. My longest nurser (so far) was my DS. He weaned a week or so before he turned 2. My youngest is 20 months and still going strong. I'd like her to be weaned at 2, but I think 2.5 would be MY limit. I love it, but I've been pregnant and/or nursing for the last 6 years straight. I want my body back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Socially acceptable IME has been even 1 day old. :glare: I am an extended nurser. My last two weaned at 2.5 and my youngest is still going. :) I answered for my beliefs, not that of society. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I couldn't answer because nurses here are still often surprised to hear of a 6 month old still nursing. Sad that they are surprised when someone is actually following the AAP recommendations, let alone the the WHO ones. My circle of friends is rather crunchy and practiced biologically normal nursing (I refuse to call it extended), but most of my neighbors are not. I had one neighbor loudly exclaim "EEWWW!" when she found out I was nursing dd on my front porch while supervising my other kids outside. I don't cover. Nothing was showing. She was concerned about me corrupting the children. What a maroon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Society? Around me - a year. Maybe. That might be pushing it. I nursed my kids to 2, 2.5, 4, and I'm not gonna' tell you!!! LOL She was my youngest and nursed until she was ready to wean and not when I was pregnant again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tristangrace Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I answered according to what I did with my kids, not according to what I believe is acceptable (no strong opinion there, really) and not according to what is the norm here (I have no idea). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Most people I know stop before a year, except my two sister In laws and I. My family did not understand It. I was chastised for giving Ds 2% milk at 20 months because he needed the full fat. When I explained that he still nursed amd therefor a glass of 2% was fine, since my cousins kids were all drinking that....I got funny looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThisIsTheDay Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I vote "Other." In society in general, definitely by age 1. In my social circles, I don't think anyone would bat an eye at age 2. As homeschooling families, I think many of us run in social circles that are outside of society's norm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Most people I know stop before a year, except my two sister In laws and I. My family did not understand It. I was chastised for giving Ds 2% milk at 20 months because he needed the full fat. When I explained that he still nursed amd therefor a glass of 2% was fine, since my cousins kids were all drinking that....I got funny looks. Heehee. We all drink whole milk here! Actually, we don't drink it, but we use it on and in things. Whole milk is the only milk I buy. It's just yummier! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeganCupcake Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I think sometime shortly after a year is the upper limit of the norm here. I'm still happily nursing my 3.5 year old. Most people who know that have the good sense not to criticize :lol: but I think they are quite surprised. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I answered for the area where I live. Personally, I think it is a private decision and none of my business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MistyMountain Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 Most of the people I know in my area are fine with extended nursing. I know that not everyone here feels that way. I know people from LLL and birth meetings but also the groups not around stuff like that seem accepting too. I feel more comfortable with it here than where I grew up. We might be moving and if we do I really hope it somewhere where it is accepted. Sometimes the crunchy thing seems like a big competition and doing non crunchy things is looked down upon and that can be annoying too but I don't know that I like to live somewhere where it is looked down upon either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 4, 2012 Share Posted March 4, 2012 I would have nursed until age 2. I got pg with Sylvia when Becca was 16 months and that dried me up, and Sylvia had to be supplemented from birth (sleepy jaundiced preemie) so I was only able to nurse her for 7 months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjselmk Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Where I live extended nursing is pretty common although I think I carry that a little further than most. I personally wouldn't look twice unless the child was around 5 or 6 and even then it wouldn't bother me.:) My own babies have been between 2 an 5 when we weaned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindyg Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Your poll is too full of "should be"s for me to vote. Every baby/mother pair is unique. It's nobody else's business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I already know I will regret asking, but I wonder if extended nursing is gaining social acceptance? Ella. is my longest nurser and so far some have been surprised she nurses but no horrible reactions. :) So either society is changing OR it's because I'm close enough to Portland.:D How old is "too old" where you are from? Oregon is very accepting of that kind of thing :) It was really nice, I don't think I ever got negative comments the whole time I nursed the twins! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 What are the norms HERE? Well, they are just now rolling out a campaign to convince mothers that they should nurse AT ALL. It is very uncommon to nurse a baby here. In fact, I have NEVER seen someone nursing in public at all in 3 years! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I voted to wean by 2ish, because by then people are freaking out... at least most of them. I nursed my daughter till right before 3 (she wanted to continue, but I stopped) and my son till he was 4yrs and 10 months.... (he also wanted to continue, but.... well.... 5 is too old here ;)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I voted by age 3. My dd was pretty close to that when she weaned. My ds is still nursing now and he is 19 months. And I totally figure he is in for the long haul ;) I think society is definitely easing up on breastfeeding to a degree. But at the same time I get dirty looks at times nursing walking in the aisles in say Costco. But that could be that I have the audacity of nursing in public :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misidawnrn Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I think for "most" people in my town to make it to 6 months is good. Most of my friends go a year or longer, my sister weaned her 2nd to the last child at 5+ years...only because she was pregnant with last child who is now 10 months and still nursing. My other sister nursed for a year. I weaned my son at 6 months because I was young and dumb and thought he would be getting teeth soon and didn't want to get bit. (he didn't get teeth until 10 months) I just weaned my daughter who will be 3 on Tuesday at 33 months (and she was adopted:001_smile:). I think it is a big variable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Around here, I think it's socially unacceptable around 18 months. My first weaned on his own at 13 months (waaaay too busy to sit still and nurse!) but I'm still going with my 19 month old. We only nurse before nap and before bed though, so I'm not sure that anyone outside of our house even knows that she nurses. I don't hide it, but no one has asked! My sister has a baby the same age as my 19 month old but she only bottle fed. When the babies were 13 months she called me anxiously to ask if my dd was still nursing. Apparently someone had made a comment that her 13 month old should not be using a bottle any more?!?!? I thought that was beyond strange (that her supposedly good friend would make a comment like that) but she had him not using a bottle the next week. She thinks I'm weird though..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I think for "most" people in my town to make it to 6 months is good. Most of my friends go a year or longer, my sister weaned her 2nd to the last child at 5+ years...only because she was pregnant with last child who is now 10 months and still nursing. My other sister nursed for a year. I weaned my son at 6 months because I was young and dumb and thought he would be getting teeth soon and didn't want to get bit. (he didn't get teeth until 10 months) I just weaned my daughter who will be 3 on Tuesday at 33 months (and she was adopted:001_smile:). I think it is a big variable. Cool! You nursed an adopted baby? Awesome!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdventureMoms Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Well, I started getting some pushback ("You're still doing THAT") after 2 months or so. DD (will be 4 in May) still nurses occasionally. But really only in bed with me, and the twins don't nurse, so most people just assume she's weaned. Funnily enough I deal with fewer bad reactions with a nursing 3.5yo than I did with a nursing 1.5yo. Among my friends (who tend to be crunchier than my general surroundings), I only know one person who has nursed beyond about 2yo. I'd say the majority of my friends nurse about a year, and the majority of my family and acquaintances nurse about 6-8 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momma2Many66 Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I nursed/breastfed all my children to about 2 and a half years old when the naturally weaned themselves. Now if you ask me how long my children consumed breastmilk, I would give you a much later age. While nursing a baby/toddler ( I was pregnant or nursing back to back for almost 8 plus years) I often pumped extra milk when my young ones were sick and for my then 4 year old son who was allergic to cows milk. I put the pumped milk into a cup and served it to them that way. They all "drank" breastmilk from a cup for quite a few years after they weaned, because I wanted them to have all the health benefits of it. I never discussed it with anyone, so I don't know if people would be shocked by me feeding my children breastmilk from a cup until I weaned my youngest at 2 and a half years old and the "dairy dried up". :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) I've found in my experience that dc over 2 1/2-3 are less discreet nursers than younger children, and can be more difficult to nurse in public because of that. But they mostly don't need to nurse as often at that age anyway ... most of my friends who nurse/have nursed preschoolers reserve it for morning, naptime, and bedtime, and maybe as a calming thing in case of injury. So for the most part, I haven't even known unless it came up in an offhanded comment or a child had an injury, and it was never a big deal. Edited March 7, 2012 by higginszoo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Within my circle of friends and family members 2-3 years seems to be the average. Most everyone I know breastfeeds for at least a year minimum. That being said, I live in a rather "crunchy" town with a strong attachment parenting, natural birth, doula-lovin', homebirth friendly, cloth-diaper wearing kind of crowd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilymax Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 My youngest is still going strong at 2 1/2, and honestly, this is longer than I ever thought I would nurse! (The other two weaned around a year old.) He is so healthy, though, and I know it's because of nursing. A few people think it's strange, but I truly don't care what anyone else thinks. I'm fairly private and haven't nursed in public since he was around a year old. But sometimes he'll shove his hand down the front of my shirt and yell "Bee?!" when we're out. Which makes it kind of obvious that's what he's asking for! Oh well--I figure it's a good opportunity to educate people on the benefits of nursing beyond 2, if they comment on him asking for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLBMom Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 My oldest was 4years 1 month. That includes tandem nursing over a year with his little sister. I strongly encouraged him to wean, that was too much. Dd was 3.5 years weaned completely on her own when younger brother was a month old. She nursed with both brothers lol. Youngest is 4.5 years and was still nursing once a day. We had many complicated conversations about weaning :tongue_smilie:. I had surgery two weeks ago and was in the hospital 4 days, he hasn't nursed since. I'm sad because he is my baby. Glad because well 5 freaks me out lol. I nursed 10 years 8 months straight which is impressive since I was only 19 when I started:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I am very surprised so many are in the camp of 'anything over one year.' I thought sure the majority would say age 2. :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlsdMama Posted March 5, 2012 Author Share Posted March 5, 2012 I am very surprised so many are in the camp of 'anything over one year.' I thought sure the majority would say age 2. :001_huh: I'd say this is definitely cultural. I'm from the Midwest and to be honest, I dreaded "we warning" my mom I was still nursing Ella before they came for their last visit. She is almost 2.5 and I distinctly remember my family being horrified that I was going to nurse Ana sixteen years ago. ;) Then, with Christian, I did the unfathomable... Nursed past one year! I am very pleasantly surprised to see so many mamas accepting of nursing past two. I admit I would love to see Ella wean because nursing a toddler and a ds fat little eight month old is wearing me out, but she is definitely not emotionally ready for that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I say 2ish by 3, but I don't think anything of nursing up to 3. For some reason, a 3-4 is surprising but not horrid. Over 4 seems a bit long for me. Over 5, would be very odd to me. I am 15 minutes from Portland. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WIS0320 Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I weaned all of my children around age 2 for my own personal reasons. My two girls would have gone longer if I'd been agreeable. I got a lot of flack for going past one. Honestly, MOST of the negative comments come from women of my mother's generation. Most women I know who are still in their child-bearing years seem to be less abrasive about breastfeeding even if they choose not to/cannot breastfeed themselves. It really seems that women my mother's age think there is something creepy about going on longer than six months and I think that is because it was so uncommon when they were having their own babies. Most men seem to be clueless about anything to do with breastfeeding unless their wife is currently doing it. And even then it seems to not be something they care that much about or think about. I don't think I've ever heard any man say anything about breastfeeding at all unless his wife is struggling and he's had it and wishes she'd quit (most likely so his wife will stop feeling bad/complaining!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jelbe5 Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I nursed my third child until she was 4. I felt good about this decision after attending a LLL conference where extended bf was presented. Many other cultures do this and the American Pediatric Society had just come out with their recommendation to continue for two years. But as my dd grew we kept bf to home, not at other places. She gradually weaned herself and it felt so natural. It worked well for us and I'm glad we did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lightly Salted Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 (edited) I already know I will regret asking, but I wonder if extended nursing is gaining social acceptance? Ella. is my longest nurser and so far some have been surprised she nurses but no horrible reactions. :) So either society is changing OR it's because I'm close enough to Portland.:D How old is "too old" where you are from? Where I am now? 9 months. Seriously. Where I was when nursing littles? Overseas almost all of my expat friends nursed for at least 14-18 months, and I knew a few people who nursed into the toddler ages. The locals were divided: the rich did NOT nurse; the poor did because formula was expensive. It was becoming more and more popular to give formula, though. What I did? Nursed til they were 3.5 and 5. :D We moved back when my youngest was 2, and though he nursed for 3 more years, I doubt anyone here knew it, since we didn't NIP much past 2.5. Edited March 5, 2012 by Lightly Salted Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 The majority of women I know wean around a year. Some make it to 18 months. Several of my closest friends go till 3 ish. I personally know two women who have nursed until 5. I am currently nursing an almost 3 1/2 half year old and a 1 year old. I never thought I'd go that long, but here we are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I remember having an acquaintance nurse her 4.5 year old at my house. He stretched out across my sofa and begin nursing and he was just so... big... It felt too old to me in a kind of icky way. To be fair, if he was carrying a bottle or a sippy cup or a pacifier or wearing a diaper, I'd also feel the same way. I nursed my girls until 2 or so. It seemed about right. Once they could discuss my breasts, it kind of felt wrong. I do think that it might also be a context issue. It's a little different to nurse an older child at night when they were snuggling into bed and in a sleepy baby kind of place than when they are out and about and clearly not babies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tapasnaturalles Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I don't care what society says, to be honest. My kids wean when they want to wean, not when I want to wean them. I'm breastfeeding for 6,5 years straight, spread over 3 kids. My oldest weaned at 4y3m, the 2 youngest (5,5yo and almost 4yo) still drink. I nursed all 3 off them together for over a year. I don't get the ones choosing "everything over a year". The World Health Organisation recommend to nurse for at least 2 years. I really don't get it. The most natural age to wean for a child (that is if the child chooses, not if it is influenced by anything) is between 4 and 7 years. Society can think what it wants, I know I'm doing the most natural thing by nursing them this long. It's how it's supposed to be. So if anyone can't see it, they should close their eyes. It's not my problem... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nd293 Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 Apparently 4yrs is too old where I am, as a friend nearly choked when I told her I was still nursing ds (her son was at kindergarten with mine at the time). :lol: I would say that 1 year is widely "socially acceptable". I think anything over 18 months or 2yrs would be getting raised eyebrows in most circles. Homeschoolers are not necessarily "most circles", though, and I'd expect them to be more accepting of extended BFing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 In my area, anything past 6 months in considered " fringe". Mostvpeople don't nurse. If they do they give bottles when " in public". Those few of us who buck that tend to find one another quickly. Mine all nursed between 2-3 years. I didn't advertise it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I didn't vote because I have no idea how people around here feel. I never made it passed a year, myself, so no first hand negative reactions for older than that. The only "extended" nursers I've been around have been at homeschool events, and I've never seen a negative reaction there! :) My sister's wedding was planned for when one of my sons was going to be about 20 months old. When talking kid logistics for the event, I mentioned that ds would probably be weaned by then. My (childless) aunt did say "I would hope so!" That's the closest I have to personal experience. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 In my group of friends? 5.5yo was the oldest, but most make it past 3yo. My last weaned at 2y8mos because I was pg and I lost my supply and it was painful, so on Monday we weaned, and on Friday I lost the baby. I felt really horrible about weaning her. She still asks about it and sometimes needs to snuggle up with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kertie Posted March 5, 2012 Share Posted March 5, 2012 I think it's because you're close to Portland:D. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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