Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 even if your child LOVED their sport and their team, and in doing so the coach's could possibly turn against your child? Tonight there is going to be a meeting with the parents at synchro. I'm hoping the parents will come forward FOR their children. I was told by the supervisor of the lead coach that if parents don't come forward tonight, it will be my word against theirs and they could do nothing about it. I've already had a friend back away and not want to get involved. I understand. This is tough. I called another friend, the one who's daughter was deeply disturbed by the treatment she saw my daughter received by a coach. I asked her if she could speak to the supervisor, because I knew it would be too hard for her daughter to. She said she will think about it. She said that she wouldn't want to put her daughter in the same position of mine by speaking up. I completely understand that. I don't begrudge that. But I do feel that if nobody stands up for the truth or stands up for what's right, all of this will have been a waste of time, and the bully will be allowed to happily continue on as will the bullying coaches. I felt so bad putting the pressure on my friend, but I do hope that she will stand up for what's right. I've done it myself a few years back. It's NOT easy. I got publicly chastised for it. I know how hard it is, but I don't think I could sit by and witness what this mom did and remain silent. She knows more than anyone else because our daughters were always together. What if your KID witnessed the bullying? Would you encourage them to speak up about it? These are difficult questions. I know. I'm just wondering how many would actually take a stand against it if they were ever put in a position to do so. I fear nobody will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I would but I couldn't make that decision for others. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Well I think that's a really crappy way to handle it. If no one steps up you are obviously lying? Really? I'm in a lousy mood, but I pray someone stands up with you. Remember if they don't, that still doesn't mean anything except they're wimps or oblivious. If that is the case I wouldn't want my dc around those type of people anyway. It takes courage to stand for the truth, may you find a courageous soul beside you tonight. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Well I think that's a really crappy way to handle it. If no one steps up you are obviously lying? Really? I'm in a lousy mood, but I pray someone stands up with you. Remember if they don't, that still doesn't mean anything except they're wimps or oblivious. If that is the case I wouldn't want my dc around those type of people anyway. It takes courage to stand for the truth, may you find a courageous soul beside you tonight. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :iagree: it is a crappy way to handle it. what are they trying to do? remake the scene in jerry maguire? if this stunt isn't enough to make you leave this wretched organization, i don't know what will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 Well I think that's a really crappy way to handle it. If no one steps up you are obviously lying? Really? I'm in a lousy mood, but I pray someone stands up with you. Remember if they don't, that still doesn't mean anything except they're wimps or oblivious. If that is the case I wouldn't want my dc around those type of people anyway. It takes courage to stand for the truth, may you find a courageous soul beside you tonight. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:thank you. Dh has been reading the anti-bullying laws for our state. He said that it's well known that people don't stand up to this because they're afraid of retaliation. :crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrulySusan Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 The thing is, with your DD gone, the bully WILL replace her with another child. It would be in every parents best interest to say what they know because their daughter could very well be the new target. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 :iagree: it is a crappy way to handle it. what are they trying to do? remake the scene in jerry maguire? if this stunt isn't enough to make you leave this wretched organization, i don't know what will. not only are we gone and will never return, and have notified those in authority at the YMCA of this fact, I have requested a refund of the synchro class this year, a refund of our money for the upcoming competition, AND a refund of our membership fees since September. They'd be fools not to give us our money back. We also will be having a meeting with the lead coach, her supervisor's supervisor, and the VP of area YMCA's next week. I'm sure that will be lovely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 :confused: Let's see group meeting with the bully present and kids are to raise their hand and say yes we have seen bullying? :confused: Wouldn't it be better to talk to parents and teens over the phone or in private about the matter first? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 The thing is, with your DD gone, the bully WILL replace her with another child. It would be in every parents best interest to say what they know because their daughter could very well be the new target. you are ABSOLUTELY right. A couple of parents have come forward and this is NOT the first time this has happened, but it IS the first time the victim and her family are not remaining silent. Still, if nobody comes forward, I guess we don't have a leg to stand on. I have emails going back a year or two. I'm going to be forwarding out a LOT of emails to corroborate my story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 :confused: Let's see group meeting with the bully present and kids are to raise their hand and say yes we have seen bullying? :confused: Wouldn't it be better to talk to parents and teens over the phone or in private about the matter first? :iagree: Unfortunately, this set-up is exactly why most people won't speak up. It is hard to speak up anyhow, but having to do so publicly, in front of the bullies and in front of the people who could make the rest of your year abominable is just too much for most people. If they really wanted to get the truth, they would have handled this privately first. :grouphug:, Denise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 :confused: Let's see group meeting with the bully present and kids are to raise their hand and say yes we have seen bullying? :confused: Wouldn't it be better to talk to parents and teens over the phone or in private about the matter first? I swear my brain is swimming in so many stress chemicals that I just can't even think straight at the moment. So I probably gave this impression. Friends on the team (parents) have contacted me to let me know that the supervisor of the lead coach sent out an email letting everyone know that her door is open to them tonight in case they have any concerns about what has taken place. I don't know if there is a meeting or not, but I don't believe the kids will be involved on any level. I've got a pounding migraine. I hope I'm making sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 :iagree: Unfortunately, this set-up is exactly why most people won't speak up. It is hard to speak up anyhow, but having to do so publicly, in front of the bullies and in front of the people who could make the rest of your year abominable is just too much for most people. If they really wanted to get the truth, they would have handled this privately first. :grouphug:, Denise. how could they handle it privately? By calling all the individual team members? I may suggest this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 How about some quotes you can use. If they want to play these games, you can play too: Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest. ~Mark Twain~ That old law about ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing. ~Martin Luther King, Jr.~ What seems like the right thing to do could also be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. It’s always worth it. ~Unknown Source~ Here are some quotes on integrity. More :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Well I think that's a really crappy way to handle it. If no one steps up you are obviously lying? Really? I'm in a lousy mood, but I pray someone stands up with you. Remember if they don't, that still doesn't mean anything except they're wimps or oblivious. If that is the case I wouldn't want my dc around those type of people anyway. It takes courage to stand for the truth, may you find a courageous soul beside you tonight. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :iagree:We (Wolf and I) would stand. We couldn't look at ourselves in the mirror, or teach our children about personal responsibility, integrity, honesty, honour, the kind of ppl we want them to be otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 not only are we gone and will never return, and have notified those in authority at the YMCA of this fact, I have requested a refund of the synchro class this year, a refund of our money for the upcoming competition, AND a refund of our membership fees since September. They'd be fools not to give us our money back. We also will be having a meeting with the lead coach, her supervisor's supervisor, and the VP of area YMCA's next week. I'm sure that will be lovely. that is awesome. good for you guys1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avila Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 how could they handle it privately? By calling all the individual team members? I may suggest this. I think it would be better than what they are doing. Even a private email to each parent offering a phone number to set up private appointments outside the Synchro practice area would be a start. People need to be able to be honest without worrying about who sees them doing it, at this point. Inviting parents into the office sounds fine, except that the other coaches, parents, etc. will all be watching to see who goes in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 If all the parents who have witnessed the bullying threaten to yank their kids out and demand refunds if certain demands aren't met (bully fired and protocol tightened)...perhaps the leadership of the organization will clean some house? Maybe not.. I cannot imagine wanting my child in that organization as is. *I* would report it, but I would position myself and my family to avoid retaliation first. For ex, once I stood up there would be NO letting my child be under the supervision/instruction of the bully or her cronies. ("or her cronies" may extend into the ps system and beyond if this is a small town...THAT may be THE issue.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I agree that the coach should be calling or emailing individual families since they are more likely to say something in private. If I had witnessed the bullying of another child I would speak up. I hate confrontation, but from your posts this is a huge safety issue! Just seeing what your daughter has had to deal with I would pull my own child from that team even if they were not bullied at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 I agree that the coach should be calling or emailing individual families since they are more likely to say something in private. If I had witnessed the bullying of another child I would speak up. I hate confrontation, but from your posts this is a huge safety issue! Just seeing what your daughter has had to deal with I would pull my own child from that team even if they were not bullied at all. my dd got a text from one of her friends who said she thinks she's going to stop. She's been doing this for SIX years now. I feel bad, I feel guilty, but I'm so glad that I stood strong and got my daughter's story out. I'm not going to let this quietly die. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Tonight there is going to be a meeting with the parents at synchro. I'm hoping the parents will come forward FOR their children. I was told by the supervisor of the lead coach that if parents don't come forward tonight, it will be my word against theirs and they could do nothing about it. I've already had a friend back away and not want to get involved. I understand. This is tough. The set-up of this meeting is completely inappropriate. They are setting up a gang mentality. If no one will be first to speak up, no one will speak up. On the other hand, if everyone jumps on the band wagon, it will be more like a lynch mob. After the meeting, all kinds of gossip will be spread about who said what. This type of meeting is not in the best interest of the children OR the coach. Ask your friends to set up a private meting with the supervisor, to tell the supervisor what she has seen. I would refuse to air my dirty laundry in public. I would not publicly disparage anyone at a meeting such as you have described. It's just not right. If the coach is not present, I would be talking behind her back when she can't stand up for herself. If the coach was there, I would be (probably) embarrassing her and humiliating her in public. I would step up and tell a supervisor what I had seen in practice, in a private meeting. If I thought that would affect how the coach treated my child, I would not want my child in that program. The coach is supposed to be an adult. :grouphug: good luck- I know you are in a rough spot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: I went back and read some of the prior posts about this. I'm so sorry for you and your dd. I tend to be like you, getting anxiety when I have to have a confrontation. Your dd has a good mom, a mom who will stick up for her. I'm praying that this goes well, that others stand up and speak. If people don't speak up, I pray more will drop the team so the truth will be known. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 my dd got a text from one of her friends who said she thinks she's going to stop. She's been doing this for SIX years now. I feel bad, I feel guilty, but I'm so glad that I stood strong and got my daughter's story out. I'm not going to let this quietly die. My only problem would be if I hadn't seen it and this was the first I'd heard of it. If I had a good relationship with them I'd give the coaches the benefit of the doubt. But if I had knowledge of what happened, ****ed right I'd speak up, and based on your dd's treatment I would never trust my child to these people. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 If all the parents who have witnessed the bullying threaten to yank their kids out and demand refunds if certain demands aren't met (bully fired and protocol tightened)...perhaps the leadership of the organization will clean some house? Maybe not.. Nope! The bully is a coach's daughter. The coach is also a bully. They single out people and destroy them all under the radar. Many/most of the team parents are completely fooled. All of the swimmers who don't swim in dd's small group haven't been exposed either. The meeting/session/whatever is over now. I haven't heard anything but I'm not feeling optimistic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Nope! The bully is a coach's daughter. The coach is also a bully. They single out people and destroy them all under the radar. Many/most of the team parents are completely fooled. All of the swimmers who don't swim in dd's small group haven't been exposed either. The meeting/session/whatever is over now. I haven't heard anything but I'm not feeling optimistic. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 :confused: Let's see group meeting with the bully present and kids are to raise their hand and say yes we have seen bullying? :confused: Wouldn't it be better to talk to parents and teens over the phone or in private about the matter first? In that setting, I wouldn't say anything nor have my child ssay anything. I would be afraid of the retaliation. Especially having seen what has happened. However, in private, I would have no problem. This seems ridiculous to me that they want people to stand up in front of everyone and complain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 (edited) I would speak up. I have done so in the past, despite the consequences that I knew would (did) follow. I have a very, very difficult time feeling respect when someone chooses silence rather than addressing wrong. Edited November 18, 2011 by strider Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 I would, but I'm a big-mouth anyway, I can't stand a hypocrite or a liar, and I have no problem at all calling someone an a$$ right to their face when they are behaving like one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 17, 2011 Author Share Posted November 17, 2011 my friend and her husband spoke to the supervisor. When they left the office, two other parents were waiting for their turn to speak with her. I hope and I pray that the mom who saw my daughter mistreated was one of them. I hope these are people standing up for what's right and not coming to a coach's defense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 :party:Glad to hear somebody has your back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 The thing is, with your DD gone, the bully WILL replace her with another child. It would be in every parents best interest to say what they know because their daughter could very well be the new target. That's what I was thinking. Bully's love to have a target. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
linguistmama Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Oh good! I forgot to say earlier that while my daughter would see me stick up for her it could really be important for the other girls to see that if their families hadn't stepped up to the plate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I would, but I'm a big-mouth anyway, I can't stand a hypocrite or a liar, and I have no problem at all calling someone an a$$ right to their face when they are behaving like one. You come to my house and bake cupcakes with me some day. We will have lots of good fun that is fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I would love to hear that someone spoke up. It wasn't our experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDweller Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 I would speak up and have in situations where I saw things being done that I knew shouldn't. I believe in speaking up when needed and letting people know their actions are wrong. Let the chips fall where they may. And because my kids have seen this in both my dh and myself, they are the same way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pdalley Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 :iagree:We (Wolf and I) would stand. We couldn't look at ourselves in the mirror, or teach our children about personal responsibility, integrity, honesty, honour, the kind of ppl we want them to be otherwise. :iagree: Same here. And both of us were bullied as kids so we won't stand for looking the other way if it is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’ It might be a bogus quote, but I think it is absolutely true. I think it is absolutely wrong and evil to ignore the harm that has been done to your family, and to enable those who harmed her to continue. I would absolutely speak up, and I have done so in the past. I would speak loudly and frequently. Personally, I do not believe that any "friends" who fail to stand up for your child are actually friends. They are weak, shameless people doing evil. Sadly, it often happens that folks who are friends through common activities lose that relationship when the activity ends. I urge you to focus on your relationships that are not through the swim. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 18, 2011 Author Share Posted November 18, 2011 ‘All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing’ It might be a bogus quote, but I think it is absolutely true. I think it is absolutely wrong and evil to ignore the harm that has been done to your family, and to enable those who harmed her to continue. I would absolutely speak up, and I have done so in the past. I would speak loudly and frequently. Personally, I do not believe that any "friends" who fail to stand up for your child are actually friends. They are weak, shameless people doing evil. Sadly, it often happens that folks who are friends through common activities lose that relationship when the activity ends. I urge you to focus on your relationships that are not through the swim. Honestly? I can't understand her not coming forward, but I *do* understand not speaking up due to not wanting to make her dd a target. that was a concern of mine, too. I would, however, let others know if I witnessed what she has. I couldn't silently sit back. I don't value our friendship. I enjoy it, but I don't cling to it. I fully recognize it for what it really is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2why Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Honestly? I can't understand her not coming forward, but I *do* understand not speaking up due to not wanting to make her dd a target. that was a concern of mine, too. I would, however, let others know if I witnessed what she has. I couldn't silently sit back. I don't value our friendship. I enjoy it, but I don't cling to it. I fully recognize it for what it really is. I don't understand at all. If that is even a worry that her child might face retaliation for being honest then this is a toxic situation. I see this in football sometimes. What is the priority here....sports or life? The only excuse I can even think about is if they don't recognize what happened as bullying and were only allowing you to vent and felt compassion for your feelings but really didn't agree. But if they agree with you, then they should stand up or feel ashamed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 even if your child LOVED their sport and their team, and in doing so the coach's could possibly turn against your child? Tonight there is going to be a meeting with the parents at synchro. I'm hoping the parents will come forward FOR their children. I was told by the supervisor of the lead coach that if parents don't come forward tonight, it will be my word against theirs and they could do nothing about it. I've already had a friend back away and not want to get involved. I understand. This is tough. I called another friend, the one who's daughter was deeply disturbed by the treatment she saw my daughter received by a coach. I asked her if she could speak to the supervisor, because I knew it would be too hard for her daughter to. She said she will think about it. She said that she wouldn't want to put her daughter in the same position of mine by speaking up. I completely understand that. I don't begrudge that. But I do feel that if nobody stands up for the truth or stands up for what's right, all of this will have been a waste of time, and the bully will be allowed to happily continue on as will the bullying coaches. I felt so bad putting the pressure on my friend, but I do hope that she will stand up for what's right. I've done it myself a few years back. It's NOT easy. I got publicly chastised for it. I know how hard it is, but I don't think I could sit by and witness what this mom did and remain silent. She knows more than anyone else because our daughters were always together. What if your KID witnessed the bullying? Would you encourage them to speak up about it? These are difficult questions. I know. I'm just wondering how many would actually take a stand against it if they were ever put in a position to do so. I fear nobody will. First of all I think this is a TERRIBLE way to handle a situation. Talk about peer pressure??! :confused: Also, IMO, I wonder if your friend and your dd's friend do not stand up for her, when they know the coach is wrong, are they really friends? If I saw what had gone on with your dd, heck yes I would stand up and speak. Actually, I am the type that would have called her on it right in the moment. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 (edited) I would stand up against bullies. My kids at PS do that whenever it comes up. I don't understand why any reasonable adult would refuse to take a stand against bullying they have witnessed. By doing so, they are submitting to bullying, IMO. My kids have been taught to defend themselves, physically and verbally. They know they have a right to self-defense and defense of others, and they know what the law says about it. Bullies have gone after DS2 several times, to the bullies' regret. No one bothers him more than once, and word gets around quickly. If a situation is beyond the control of my kids, I will swoop right in and take care of the problem. I don't mind having bullies arrested, taking out restraining orders, capturing bullying behavior on audio and/or video, or making such a big stink that something is done about a problem with a bully. Luckily, none of my kids have been in a situation like your daughter has, Denise. If it was my word against that of someone else, I'd have to resort to subversive tactics to prove my allegations. I am pretty sure I wouldn't put my DD back into the situation in order to get evidence, though, no matter how much she likes the activity. Edited November 18, 2011 by RoughCollie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Absolutely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Miss Beautiful told me that a boy was being bullied about his weight during swim team practice. I went to the head coach and said, " you know how sensitive she is, and she has never been to school, so what she saw may be considered completely acceptable, but it has really bothered her. " The coach said it is never acceptable. I Said, "I'm not sure what you can do about it anyway." She said that there was plenty they could do. She would meet with the other coaches and the parents if necessary. Then there was the time Miss Good pinned the bully to a tree and was yelling in his face. I told her that she MUST get an adult next time. she said she didn't need an adult, and besides, she wasn't TOUCHING him. I don't think he ever pushed little kids off swings again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garddwr Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Miss Beautiful told me that a boy was being bullied about his weight during swim team practice. I went to the head coach and said, " you know how sensitive she is, and she has never been to school, so what she saw may be considered completely acceptable, but it has really bothered her. " The coach said it is never acceptable. I Said, "I'm not sure what you can do about it anyway." She said that there was plenty they could do. She would meet with the other coaches and the parents if necessary. Then there was the time Miss Good pinned the bully to a tree and was yelling in his face. I told her that she MUST get an adult next time. she said she didn't need an adult, and besides, she wasn't TOUCHING him. I don't think he ever pushed little kids off swings again. Where's the "LIKE" button??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simka2 Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 No questions asked!!! If I witnessed bullying and was then present at a meeting I would speak up. Hopefully I would have spoken up at the time. I do not understand this culture of fear. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 No questions asked!!! If I witnessed bullying and was then present at a meeting I would speak up. Hopefully I would have spoken up at the time. I do not understand this culture of fear. :confused: i had to remove my child from a situation partly b/c of the leader. at the end of the season, the head of the organization asked the remaining members to evaluate the leader. since i had already done that when i removed my child, i didn't say anything else. the leader ended up staying and the rumor mill started that had just *one more person* (meaning me!) complained, there would have changed the leadership. i had said my piece when i removed my child. it $ucked to hear about how it was my fault that the leader was still there because i didn't speak up again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 18, 2011 Share Posted November 18, 2011 Martin Niemöller (1892-1984): First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out -- Because I was not a Socialist. Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out -- Because I was not a Trade Unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out -- Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me -- and there was no one left to speak for me. You mentioned that children who were not in your DD's small group don't witness the bullying. Why it wasn't an option to have your DD in a different group? I hope parents speak up. I can't imagine not to. Not speaking up because of fear is an acknowledgement of a very toxic situation. If it were me, I'd forward the recent articles on children being bullied to the team parents. You have nothing to lose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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