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Things you never thought you would have to say


GWOB
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Just today I said:

 

"No, I did not get you a gross toilet with pee and poop in it for your birthday."

 

Moose is about to turn 6, thinks anything 'gross' or related to bathroom-bodily-functions is HILARIOUS, and was 'guessing' what we had gotten him as birthday gifts. :glare:

 

(How much longer am I going to have to say things like 'Fart jokes aren't funny; just say excuse me and move on'?! You know what; never mind. Please don't answer that. :tongue_smilie:)

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No naked gymnastics. All the time. :glare:

 

:lol: My older two are in that shy stage right now, so the naked gymnastics/karate have ceased. Dd4, on the other hand.......

 

Just today I said:

 

"No, I did not get you a gross toilet with pee and poop in it for your birthday."

 

Moose is about to turn 6, thinks anything 'gross' or related to bathroom-bodily-functions is HILARIOUS, and was 'guessing' what we had gotten him as birthday gifts. :glare:

 

(How much longer am I going to have to say things like 'Fart jokes aren't funny; just say excuse me and move on'?! You know what; never mind. Please don't answer that. :tongue_smilie:)

 

I don't get it either. I only had sisters. I just don't get the fascination with bodily functions.

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"Don't take naked pictures of your sister."

 

7 year old was walking around the house taking pics of random things with her camera. 4 year old comes flying out of the bathroom, naked as a jaybird, yelling "take pictures of me!" 7 year old holds up the camera to take a pic and I quickly say "No! Don't take naked pictures of your sister!" LOL

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Yes son, you do need to change into a clean pair of underwear after a shower.

 

We've had to have this conversation before with our boys.... and we ALWAYS have to ask if they used soap in the shower... both body soap and hair soap (shampoo). And if the soap made it on their whole body/hair.. not just their hands. We finally did an showering tutorial. I'm not sure how much of it sunk in.... What is the deal with boys?!?!

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Yes son, you do need to change into a clean pair of underwear after a shower.

 

We've had to have this conversation before with our boys.... and we ALWAYS have to ask if they used soap in the shower... both body soap and hair soap (shampoo). And if the soap made it on their whole body/hair.. not just their hands. We finally did an showering tutorial. I'm not sure how much of it sunk in.... What is the deal with boys?!?!

 

 

I seriously laughed out loud! I cannot tell you how many times I have had to tell my son to use soap on his whole entire body. The poor boy is completely clueless. Today he came downstairs in his older sister's jeans. He didn't notice that he picked up the wrong pair. All he knew was that he had on clothes.

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At least he wears underwear. My ds8 would go without if I didn't check up on him. How can that be comfortable???

 

:iagree: Ds does not like underwear.

 

Things I never thought I would have to say...no, you cannot put the flashlight in the microwave...you can't eat dinner naked...even if they will fit, you shouldn't put three slices of bread in your mouth at one time....

 

Yeah, I have a boy too. :glare:

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I seriously laughed out loud! I cannot tell you how many times I have had to tell my son to use soap on his whole entire body. The poor boy is completely clueless. Today he came downstairs in his older sister's jeans. He didn't notice that he picked up the wrong pair. All he knew was that he had on clothes.

 

Haha! My ds will have stuff on backwards all the time. Same thing... it's clothes, isn't it?

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I just reminded my 3yo this morning to please put on new underwear, so I don't think it's just boys. But my boys are older than her so maybe she's just following their example.

 

Oh, on the licking thing--when my 10yo was 4 the kids all went up to the front in church to sing a Mother's Day song. DS got up there happily and stood in the front grinning from ear to ear. The kids started singing and for some reason ds started to lick the podium. Seriously. The kids sang 2 or 3 songs and all my kid did was lick the podium.

 

Proud Mommy Moment.

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Yes son, you do need to change into a clean pair of underwear after a shower.

 

We've had to have this conversation before with our boys.... and we ALWAYS have to ask if they used soap in the shower... both body soap and hair soap (shampoo). And if the soap made it on their whole body/hair.. not just their hands. We finally did an showering tutorial. I'm not sure how much of it sunk in.... What is the deal with boys?!?!

 

A tutorial. :lol: My usual speech, for every single bath or shower. "You are to apply soap to every part of your body, every nook and cranny!"

 

OK, would somone kind parent of daughters please enlighten me? Do girls REALLY not do this (not get clean undies after a shower)?

 

My DD changes clothes more times per day than a Broadway star. Clean undies for every change of clothes, no joke. :lol:

 

"Did you wash your hands?"

"Yes."

"Did you use soap?"

"Huh? No. You didn't say to use soap."

"'Wash' implies 'soap.'"

 

:lol: Here too! Or they get a squeeze of soap and put their hands straight into water, rinsing the soap off. Then they start scrubbing their hands. :confused: Uh, boys, you're not really getting the point here. You need a tutorial! :tongue_smilie:

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Haha! My ds will have stuff on backwards all the time. Same thing... it's clothes, isn't it?

 

We won't go in to the whole backwards clothes thing:glare:. Half the time I am rushing out the door. Because, you know, 2 hours is totally not enough time to get ready. I hate it when I finally notice, after visiting at least 5 places, that my son has either his shirt or pants on backwards.

 

I have seriously considered requiring them to wear signs stating "I dress myself".

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At least he wears underwear. My ds8 would go without if I didn't check up on him. How can that be comfortable???

 

Have you tried boxers? My son went through a stage where he would not wear underwear. He finally told me that me that they were tight and uncomfortable so we got him some boxers and he's happily worn them ever since.

 

Now, changing them daily? Well, that's another story. Boys!

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OK, would somone kind parent of daughters please enlighten me? Do girls REALLY not do this (not get clean undies after a shower)?

 

None of my girls would wear panties two days in a row with or without a shower.

 

Yesterday we were at the beach and dd got sand in wet pants and was having a meltdown. She had on a dress over it all so I told her to take pants/panties off and go without if it was bugging her. She almost died. I haven't laughed so hard in a long while. She did end up going without which is proof of how irritating sand down there must be!

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Yes son, you do need to change into a clean pair of underwear after a shower.

 

This, to 13yo ds who is just now getting that you have to put on clean clothes after your shower, not the ones you were just wearing. Though we have yet to actually get him in the shower daily.

 

 

Mostly? Don't lick that!!!!!!

 

And this or "Don't lick yourself," to dd when she's a cat. When she's a dog it's "Get that out of your mouth!"

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OK, would somone kind parent of daughters please enlighten me? Do girls REALLY not do this (not get clean undies after a shower)?

 

My dd went through a phase when I had to explain the clean underwear concept. We are now experiencing "If you wore those socks yesterday then they are not still clean."

 

It is my dd who thinks fart humour is da bomb.

 

It is my dd who can burp on command.

 

It is my dd who can burp part of the alphabet.

 

It is my dd who forgets to flush.

 

For all you moms of boys, it is not just a boy thing.

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I just reminded my 3yo this morning to please put on new underwear, so I don't think it's just boys. But my boys are older than her so maybe she's just following their example.

 

Oh, on the licking thing--when my 10yo was 4 the kids all went up to the front in church to sing a Mother's Day song. DS got up there happily and stood in the front grinning from ear to ear. The kids started singing and for some reason ds started to lick the podium. Seriously. The kids sang 2 or 3 songs and all my kid did was lick the podium.

 

Proud Mommy Moment.

 

:lol::lol:

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It is my dd who can burp on command.

 

It is my dd who can burp part of the alphabet.

 

I won the belching contest at Bible Camp when I was 21. :)

I have great hopes for my child!

 

As for things I've had to say:

to hubby one day: "why does your butt look better in my jeans than mine does?" He'd just looked at the brand in the folded laundry pile, and didn't notice they were a bit short or had shallow pockets. He DID change them before he got out of the house though!

 

p.

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I had to tell one of my twin boys "No, you may not go to the bathroom in the cat's litter box.":001_huh:

 

I had to tell one of mine "you may NOT poop in the yard". That was followed a few months later by my husband telling the other he may not poop in a bucket in the yard. Evidently, I was not specific enough. :glare:

 

Eta: I'm listening to A Prairie Home Companion and Garrison Keillor is making fart jokes. I guess the novelty never wears off.

Edited by MyCrazyHouse
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I had to tell one of mine "you may NOT poop in the yard". That was followed a few months later by my husband telling the other he may not poop in a bucket in the yard. Evidently, I was not specific enough. :glare:

 

Eta: I'm listening to A Prairie Home Companion and Garrison Keillor is making fart jokes. I guess the novelty never wears off.

No fart jokes never go out of style for boys/men. DH still giggles hysterically over farts

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