Holy mac n cheese! Have you seen this jerk's video?

[Joy at Home]

She shouldn't have disobeyed her parents. She lives under their roof. I DO have a problem with the mom and dad's use of profanity. Totally uncalled for. Demeaning and belittling is different from punishing for an infraction of the rules. Some people don't spank and may find the video "abusive", but that is a spanking. He did not 'beat' her with his hands or fists and he spanked her on the legs, for the most part. The mother was meddling, also, imo. Only one parent or the other need mete out the punishment.

 

Please tell me you're kidding. Ugh.

 

Lisa

[WishboneDawn]

What I'm wondering is if she exacerbated the situation because she knew she was recording it to show the world how abused she was. I'm not saying that's what happened. See me other posts. It almost feels like she baited her father to do what she knew he would if she acted a certain way.

 

Some people believe that a swat on the rear with a belt is acceptable corporal punishment. Like the mother in the video did. It makes me wonder if that's what she would have received if she had complied with her father's demand to bend over the bed. OTOH, he seemed to already be out of control at the beginning of the video.

 

Other people believe that corporal punishment using more than the hand is abuse. Still other's believe that any corporal punishment is abuse.

 

She was crying so hard during the beating that it is suspicious to me that she made absolutely no noise after her parents left the room. She didn't continue to cry, whimper, moan, breathe heavily like she was trying to stop crying or suck snot like you would naturally need to do in accordance with the crying during the beating.

 

I find that suspicious. I still believe she received a beating, not corporal punishment. Her parents, both, were out of control. Everyone in this situation needs help.

 

I really think that evaluating her reaction is beside the point. It was a situation where abuse was present and constant - her mom supports that. Looking for "normal" reactions from people is such upside-down and damaging situations is a lost cause.

 

There's nothing my kids could do to bait me into beating them over and over with a belt. I'm the parent, the adult and if, by the time my kids were as old as she was, I could still be baited into losing control like that I'd be seeking some help.

 

I also think any references to spanking, whether condemning spanking or supporting it, have no place in this discussion. That was a beating, physical abuse, not a spanking.

[LidiyaDawn]

The man in the video is not doing anything illegal. Yes, in Sweden is it, but not the good 'ol USA.

 

Is this true? Is it actually legal to do THAT to your children in the USA?

 

(do the laws vary by state?)

 

I'm pretty sure it would be against the law in all Canadian provinces…. [i sure hope so!]

[WishboneDawn]

Hmmm, I think your treatment of someone who doesn't agree with you (ie ME) is just as mean and abusive as what the dad is doing in the video. Hey, let's gang up on the person over there because we don't agree with his view of something. A troll, really? A TROLL? Look in the mirror, all of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

FWIW, I am not a spanker and have never spanked my children. I know many parents who do and it looks pretty much like what I saw in the link. Heck, when I was a kid, a neighbor mom could spank us if we were bad at her house. That's just the way it is/was. The man in the video is not doing anything illegal. Yes, in Sweden is it, but not the good 'ol USA. People who use corporal punishment...well, this is what it looks like. If you want to "occupy" the whitehouse until they outlaw spanking your kids with a belt, then go do it (I might join you, as I think spanking AT ALL is excessive and indicative of parents who don't take the time to PARENT).

 

Have a nice day. (not said with sarcasm)

 

I was spanked. It looked nothing like what was in the video. If that's what you're witnessing in local parents then I'm a little disturbed that you're not calling authorities. Your idea of what's normal with parents who spank is dangerously skewed.

 

No, I don't spank either. But I will maintain a reasonable view of what is a spanking and what is abuse.

Edited November 2, 2011 by WishboneDawn

[Mama2Many4]

She shouldn't have disobeyed her parents. She lives under their roof. I DO have a problem with the mom and dad's use of profanity. Totally uncalled for. Demeaning and belittling is different from punishing for an infraction of the rules. Some people don't spank and may find the video "abusive", but that is a spanking. He did not 'beat' her with his hands or fists and he spanked her on the legs, for the most part. The mother was meddling, also, imo. Only one parent or the other need mete out the punishment.

 

Hmm, me thinks you're stirring the pot here. I hope it's that or else your completely missing some key elements that make a human.

[pfamilygal]

Hmmm, I think your treatment of someone who doesn't agree with you (ie ME) is just as mean and abusive as what the dad is doing in the video. Hey, let's gang up on the person over there because we don't agree with his view of something. A troll, really? A TROLL? Look in the mirror, all of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

FWIW, I am not a spanker and have never spanked my children. I know many parents who do and it looks pretty much like what I saw in the link. Heck, when I was a kid, a neighbor mom could spank us if we were bad at her house. That's just the way it is/was. The man in the video is not doing anything illegal. Yes, in Sweden is it, but not the good 'ol USA. People who use corporal punishment...well, this is what it looks like. If you want to "occupy" the whitehouse until they outlaw spanking your kids with a belt, then go do it (I might join you, as I think spanking AT ALL is excessive and indicative of parents who don't take the time to PARENT).

 

Have a nice day. (not said with sarcasm)

 

Give me a break. Yes, we think you must be full of it to think it is remotely acceptable to assault someone like this.

 

To you that is the same as physically assaulting someone? Having your feelings mildly hurt by some strangers on the internet is the same as a beating? Get a grip.

[WishboneDawn]

Is this true? Is it actually legal to do THAT to your children in the USA?

 

(do the laws vary by state?)

 

I'm pretty sure it would be against the law in all Canadian provinces…. [i sure hope so!]

 

I doubt it. I think the poster was engaging in some hyperbole to say something about her view of spanking. Needless to say, it was poorly and tastelessly done.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I must say that (without reading any replies) I am surprised this thread hasn't been locked or deleted yet. I thought we all had better sense than to give this video more views and ratings than it already must have. The title and description is enough, why would anyone want to watch it? I didn't have to listen to the tape of my father beating my little sister (unrelated case to the linked video) to believe it was awful and condem it.

 

I'm disappointed, ladies. I am sure we all revile and condemn it, but did you really need to watch it in the first place? :confused: Isn't there enough awful that you know of, why add this to your memory? Do you really think you'll be able to forget something like that?

[bcnlvr]

http://familyrightsassociation.com/info/spanking_laws.htm

 

Many states are very specific and others vague, but it looks like a parent can do what this judge did.

[WishboneDawn]

I must say that (without reading any replies) I am surprised this thread hasn't been locked or deleted yet. I thought we all had better sense than to give this video more views and ratings than it already must have. The title and description is enough, why would anyone want to watch it? I didn't have to listen to the tape of my father beating my little sister (unrelated case to the linked video) to believe it was awful and condem it.

 

I'm disappointed, ladies. I am sure we all revile and condemn it, but did you really need to watch it in the first place? :confused: Isn't there enough awful that you know of, why add this to your memory? Do you really think you'll be able to forget something like that?

 

I think the difference is that the video was put out by the victim. She wanted witnesses to her father's brutality. This wasn't an exploitative video produced by the aggressor. I didn't watch the whole thing but I don't regret watching what I did - awful things happen and sometimes, we need to witness them so we're aware of what's going on and so the victims are given the power to deal with the problem.

[AndyJoy]

I was spanked. It looked nothing like what was in the video. If that's what you're witnessing in local parents then I'm a little disturbed that you're not calling authorities. You're idea of what's normal with parents who spank is dangerously skewed.

:iagree:

[cindergretta]

I must say that (without reading any replies) I am surprised this thread hasn't been locked or deleted yet. I thought we all had better sense than to give this video more views and ratings than it already must have. The title and description is enough, why would anyone want to watch it? I didn't have to listen to the tape of my father beating my little sister (unrelated case to the linked video) to believe it was awful and condem it.

 

I'm disappointed, ladies. I am sure we all revile and condemn it, but did you really need to watch it in the first place? :confused: Isn't there enough awful that you know of, why add this to your memory? Do you really think you'll be able to forget something like that?

 

:confused: This post acts like we are all sitting around viewing p*rn. :001_huh: A horrific thing happened to a young adult victim *who wants her story told and heard.* Watching this, discussing this, sheds light on this kind of garbage. Evil thrives in darkness, not out in the light. Ignoring this video allows the evil to thrive.

[Lovedtodeath]

This was probably very therapeutic for her. She can finally be heard instead of suffering alone/in secret. Revenge? Maybe. Stupid? No. She deserves to be heard by as many people as she wants to be heard by. And if it was going to end up being a case of he said/she said (against a powerful figure, a judge, no less!) she proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that she's not a liar.

 

Bringing the public's attention to child abuse so that the public can take a stand against it in whatever way they can is not a bad thing, either. This man is a public figure and the public votes him in (and out) of office. They deserve to know what kind of man he is, he deserves whatever consequence comes of that, and every abused child deserves to have the world on their side speaking out on their behalf so that maybe, just maybe, some of them can be spared.

 

We should not criticize this girl. She suffered horribly at that man's hands, and if this helps her deal with that, process it, get past it, feel empowered, get justice, or whatever her motives were...she's more than earned that right as far as I am concerned.

:iagree:Well said!

[scrappyhappymama]

I'm sorry, but are you insane? So, it is wrong to swear at a child. But it is okay to wildly swing a belt at a child? We do swat our kids occassionally. Calmly and on the bottom a few times. That is a spanking. Flailing at your child with a belt like a crazy person is abuse.

 

I honestly fear for your children if you see that as acceptable punishment.

 

:iagree: We believe in spanking. But it never, ever, ever looks anything like this. If my husband ever did something like this to one of my sons, he'd be hitting me, because I would fling myself over my child in an instant. And then I would call the police on his sorry butt.

 

This is not spanking. It is abuse and assault pure and simple and I hope they throw the book at this sorry judge.

Edited November 2, 2011 by scrappyhappymama

[*********]

I watched the video.

 

It made my heart beat fast, brought tears to my eyes, and then I realized I was actually feeling afraid.

 

It's like I was my thirteen year old self again.

 

What that video shows is ABUSE. I don't care if that girl had just spat in her father's face. NOTHING makes what he did ok.

[Guest submarines]

:confused: This post acts like we are all sitting around viewing p*rn. :001_huh: A horrific thing happened to a young adult victim *who wants her story told and heard.* Watching this, discussing this, sheds light on this kind of garbage. Evil thrives in darkness, not out in the light. Ignoring this video allows the evil to thrive.

 

:iagree:Well said.

[Parker Martin]

The title and description is enough, why would anyone want to watch it?

 

You have no way of knowing if the title and description are accurate. Unless you watch the video, at least in part.

[Nakia]

Hmmm, I think your treatment of someone who doesn't agree with you (ie ME) is just as mean and abusive as what the dad is doing in the video. Hey, let's gang up on the person over there because we don't agree with his view of something. A troll, really? A TROLL? Look in the mirror, all of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

FWIW, I am not a spanker and have never spanked my children. I know many parents who do and it looks pretty much like what I saw in the link. Heck, when I was a kid, a neighbor mom could spank us if we were bad at her house. That's just the way it is/was. The man in the video is not doing anything illegal. Yes, in Sweden is it, but not the good 'ol USA. People who use corporal punishment...well, this is what it looks like. If you want to "occupy" the whitehouse until they outlaw spanking your kids with a belt, then go do it (I might join you, as I think spanking AT ALL is excessive and indicative of parents who don't take the time to PARENT).

 

Have a nice day. (not said with sarcasm)

 

I don't think you can come on a board with a bunch of MOTHERS and condone some sick creep's abuse of his daughter, and then expect us to sit around and not speak up. I'm tired of people not speaking up. What he did was not okay. No one can, in their right mind, believe it's okay. If people don't speak up against abusers and their supporters (you, for one), then it will continue on and on. That child (now woman) was brutally beaten by her deadbeat dad. I will not keep silent about it. And I am not ashamed of myself for it.

[Nakia]

I watched the video.

 

It made my heart beat fast, brought tears to my eyes, and then I realized I was actually feeling afraid.

 

It's like I was my thirteen year old self again.

 

What that video shows is ABUSE. I don't care if that girl had just spat in her father's face. NOTHING makes what he did ok.

 

 

:grouphug:

[pfamilygal]

I don't think you can come on a board with a bunch of MOTHERS and condone some sick creep's abuse of his daughter, and then expect us to sit around and not speak up. I'm tired of people not speaking up. What he did was not okay. No one can, in their right mind, believe it's okay. If people don't speak up against abusers and their supporters (you, for one), then it will continue on and on. That child (now woman) was brutally beaten by her deadbeat dad. I will not keep silent about it. And I am not ashamed of myself for it.

 

:iagree:

[kalanamak]

:confused: This post acts like we are all sitting around viewing p*rn. :001_huh: A horrific thing happened to a young adult victim *who wants her story told and heard.* Watching this, discussing this, sheds light on this kind of garbage. Evil thrives in darkness, not out in the light. Ignoring this video allows the evil to thrive.

 

:iagree: I hope every parent who ever belted a child gets to lie awake tonight in a fearful sweat it was videoed.

[bcnlvr]

Perhaps it is I who owe an apology, then. I would miss the next two days of school if I did what that girl did. She got a whoopin' alright, but it seemed minor to what I would've gotten had I done what she did.

 

I am also a parent and I do not use violence on my children AT ALL. I am not a bad person because I came from a culture where harsh physical punishment was the norm. I don't condone any of that. I was only responding regarding my perception of a short video clip that had no context.

[5kidsforME]

Perhaps it is I who owe an apology, then. I would miss the next two days of school if I did what that girl did. She got a whoopin' alright, but it seemed minor to what I would've gotten had I done what she did.

 

I am also a parent and I do not use violence on my children AT ALL. I am not a bad person because I came from a culture where harsh physical punishment was the norm. I don't condone any of that. I was only responding regarding my perception of a short video clip that had no context.

 

So because you had harsh physical punishment (which is not OK) then anyone else who also receives harsh physical punishment deserves it and you defend it? :confused:

[Renee in NC]

I was beaten with a belt for 6 years of my childhood. I often had welts and bruises on top of other welts and bruises. It is agonizing, but not just physically. It takes a long time to get over abuse mentally - long after the physical marks are gone. The last time she hit me was when I was 12. I clearly remember it because we were standing at the top of the stairs and the thought in my mind was that if I pushed her down the steps that would be the end of it. Those kind of thoughts shouldn't be going through a 12yo's mind, KWIM? (BTW, I have long ago forgiven her and even have a relationship with her now.)

 

The thought that anyone would think this is appropriate, even for disobedience, makes me want to puke. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that - NO ONE. And to critique her crying? Seriously? She was beaten TWICE. To me it seemed her mother was trying to end it by getting her to turn over and hitting her once (so that her father would stop.) Unfortunately, it seemed to set off another barage of beating and verbal abuse.

 

I am glad that her mother got out, too, because I can only imagine what she lived with all those years, too.

[Renee in NC]

Perhaps it is I who owe an apology, then. I would miss the next two days of school if I did what that girl did. She got a whoopin' alright, but it seemed minor to what I would've gotten had I done what she did.

 

I am also a parent and I do not use violence on my children AT ALL. I am not a bad person because I came from a culture where harsh physical punishment was the norm. I don't condone any of that. I was only responding regarding my perception of a short video clip that had no context.

 

There is no "context" for a beating. None. If my child did what this one did, I would have taken the computer away and kept it locked up. I wouldn't beat them with a belt.

 

It seems as if your way of dealing with the abuse you suffered as a child was to "normalize" it. That was not mine.

[Joker]

I didn't watch the video but read an article. I was seriously disturbed by his comment that, "More will come out." No one should be questioning her because she probably lived with so much more than was shown in that one videotape.

[Nakia]

Perhaps it is I who owe an apology, then. I would miss the next two days of school if I did what that girl did. She got a whoopin' alright, but it seemed minor to what I would've gotten had I done what she did.

 

I am also a parent and I do not use violence on my children AT ALL. I am not a bad person because I came from a culture where harsh physical punishment was the norm. I don't condone any of that. I was only responding regarding my perception of a short video clip that had no context.

 

I also received spankings growing up. Painful spankings, but my mother NEVER spanked me with that level of anger and hate and violence.

 

Please see your post #23. You did in fact condone the "spanking", but you did say you have a problem with the profanity used. I'm sure you aren't necessarily a bad person, but you can't possibly explain any "context" where the spanking he gave would be appropriate. She might have misbehaved or disobeyed, but he assaulted her. If he had done that to an adult, he would be in jail. I hope he goes to jail for this.

[Mimm]

Hmmm, I think your treatment of someone who doesn't agree with you (ie ME) is just as mean and abusive as what the dad is doing in the video. Hey, let's gang up on the person over there because we don't agree with his view of something. A troll, really? A TROLL? Look in the mirror, all of you. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

 

FWIW, I am not a spanker and have never spanked my children. I know many parents who do and it looks pretty much like what I saw in the link. Heck, when I was a kid, a neighbor mom could spank us if we were bad at her house. That's just the way it is/was. The man in the video is not doing anything illegal. Yes, in Sweden is it, but not the good 'ol USA. People who use corporal punishment...well, this is what it looks like. If you want to "occupy" the whitehouse until they outlaw spanking your kids with a belt, then go do it (I might join you, as I think spanking AT ALL is excessive and indicative of parents who don't take the time to PARENT).

 

Have a nice day. (not said with sarcasm)

 

Wait a minute. You feel you've been just as abused by a couple women in a few posts on a message board as this girl who was screaming while she was being verbally berated and assaulted with a belt?? Are you crazy or just kidding? ANYONE who could defend the actions by the parents in this video is just evil. I'm so disgusted right now...

[bcnlvr]

Then I respectfully apologize. I realize that my perception of what I viewed may very well be skewed. Thank you for at least dropping the name-calling and allowing me to be teachable.

 

Humbly,

Baconlover

[justamouse]

I just saw it on the news. I actually had a stomach ache watching it-and that was only a short clip-it went on for 7 minutes.

 

That is NOT right. Not. That man has anger issues and needs to be taken OFF the bench. There is no way he should be allowed to administer justice as a family court judge. Because what he dealt out was not justice. Solomon he is not.

 

The poor daughter is said to be sorry she released it-I feel sorry for her, but she did do the right thing. She really didn't realize how wrong it is.

[Mergath]

Perhaps it is I who owe an apology, then. I would miss the next two days of school if I did what that girl did. She got a whoopin' alright, but it seemed minor to what I would've gotten had I done what she did.

 

I am also a parent and I do not use violence on my children AT ALL. I am not a bad person because I came from a culture where harsh physical punishment was the norm. I don't condone any of that. I was only responding regarding my perception of a short video clip that had no context.

 

Sorry, but anyone who could watch that and NOT find it horrifying is demented. Period. And I had a fairly abusive childhood, too. Which is why I would never think to blame the girl in that video. Honestly, I think you might just be full of it. And a troll.

[joannqn]

I was beat with a belt like that when I was a child, only I did comply and bend over the arm of the couch when I was told. Usually I got somewhere between 6-12 whips, and they left welts and deep purple bruises across my bottom and back of my legs. I was 14 the last time my father hit me with a belt. I didn't record him (didn't have a video camera back then anyway), but I stood up to him after that beating and told him that he would NEVER touch me again or I would report him for child abuse. It wasn't the end of the emotional and verbal abuse, but he never did hit me again.

 

Did I cry while being whipped? Sure. Did I keep crying and whimpering when he was done? Absolutely not. I was pissed. I typically refused to talk to my parents more than I absolutely had to afterwards. I was often whipped and then grounded: a week, two weeks, a month, or even for the whole summer (no phone, no visitors, no leaving the house). Although I wasn't confined to my room, I refused to come out the entire time I was grounded. I stayed in there and read, coming out only to pee, shower, eat, and do my chores. I hated them. HATED them.

 

Please don't judge the girl for recording it. I totally understand why she would. Don't judge how she cried or didn't cry. When you're angry about being abused, you learn to bury your feelings, curl up inside yourself, and hide it.

[Cheryl in NM]

Um, most the painful, scary part is when getting hit and wondering how long it's going to last. Not after. It's done, the pain is subsiding or your just feeling numbness. Have you been spanked as a child? I'm always scared for parents who never felt what a spanking was like who spank. I would never submit myself to an out of control parent for a spanking. Are you serious??? Gag.

 

Yes, you obviously haven't read the whole thread or all of my posts. Your response to my post is emotional and uninformed.

 

I must say that (without reading any replies) I am surprised this thread hasn't been locked or deleted yet. I thought we all had better sense than to give this video more views and ratings than it already must have. The title and description is enough, why would anyone want to watch it? I didn't have to listen to the tape of my father beating my little sister (unrelated case to the linked video) to believe it was awful and condem it.

 

I'm disappointed, ladies. I am sure we all revile and condemn it, but did you really need to watch it in the first place? :confused: Isn't there enough awful that you know of, why add this to your memory? Do you really think you'll be able to forget something like that?

 

I watched it because in today's society popping a baby through a diaper lightly is considered abuse and by some on this board. Before I got all upset I wanted to be informed. Besides, as a pp mentioned, the victim posted the video and wants people to view it.

 

I was beat with a belt like that when I was a child, only I did comply and bend over the arm of the couch when I was told. Usually I got somewhere between 6-12 whips, and they left welts and deep purple bruises across my bottom and back of my legs. I was 14 the last time my father hit me with a belt. I didn't record him (didn't have a video camera back then anyway), but I stood up to him after that beating and told him that he would NEVER touch me again or I would report him for child abuse. It wasn't the end of the emotional and verbal abuse, but he never did hit me again.

 

Did I cry while being whipped? Sure. Did I keep crying and whimpering when he was done? Absolutely not. I was pissed. I typically refused to talk to my parents more than I absolutely had to afterwards. I was often whipped and then grounded: a week, two weeks, a month, or even for the whole summer (no phone, no visitors, no leaving the house). Although I wasn't confined to my room, I refused to come out the entire time I was grounded. I stayed in there and read, coming out only to pee, shower, eat, and do my chores. I hated them. HATED them.

 

Please don't judge the girl for recording it. I totally understand why she would. Don't judge how she cried or didn't cry. When you're angry about being abused, you learn to bury your feelings, curl up inside yourself, and hide it.

 

Thank you! Instead of attacking me for my confusion you have clarified it for me. I completely understand, now, why she wouldn't cry after they leave the room. A pp also mentioned that she knew to make noise so her parents would feel satisfied that they impacted her. I am sorry about your situation. I am surprised at the number in this thread who were abused; it's almost commonplace. That's sad.

[Impish]

I haven't watched the video.

 

I can't.

 

Being beaten with a leather belt was standard growing up. I simply cannot watch it happen to someone else.

 

As far as crying goes...I would be hit until I cried, then hit til I stopped. If I continued to cry after, it was a guarantee for more beating. Not crying during meant that you were being defiant, that they obviously weren't getting through to you.

[ravinlunachick]

Did anyone else notice that the mom told her to take her licks like a woman? Very telling and sad.

 

I was "spanked" by my mother in the same way more times than I could possibly count as a young child. She used wooden paddles, leather straps, belts, hairbrushes, "switches", and I don't know what else. She drew blood and left welts, and no one ever did a thing to help me. It didn't stop until I got old enough to threaten to call the police. I'm still dealing with this now, decades later. So, I feel proud of this young girl who took such a drastic step to make it stop. Good for her. She became a strong woman, despite her father's best efforts. :001_smile:

[joannqn]

Did anyone else notice that the mom told her to take her licks like a woman? Very telling and sad.

:

 

I don't think it is unusual for the wife/mother to take the husband's side.

 

After the last altercation between my father and myself, my mom came home and was met by my dad first. She told me, in a very angry tone, that I deserved everything I got. That was the night I left.

[justamouse]

Did anyone hear on the news that the daughter was DISABLED? Just watching CNN now, and they're saying she's disabled. She's got CP.

 

VOMIT.

 

AND this guy's tape is saying he thinks he did nothing wrong. I want to take a clamp to him.

[ravinlunachick]

I don't think it is unusual for the wife/mother to take the husband's side.

 

After the last altercation between my father and myself, my mom came home and was met by my dad first. She told me, in a very angry tone, that I deserved everything I got. That was the night I left.

 

I took her comment to imply that women regularly get beaten like that too.

[OnTheBrink]

It's good to keep in mind that this man is or was a judge. It may well be that this girl had no faith in the police and courts having had a father who was a key part of their local justice system. She may have felt that if she submitted this to local authorities it might get "lost".

 

It certainly won't now.

 

My mother was a liaison between the school district and CPS. And, beatings like that were not uncommon in my house. NO ONE listened to me when I reported it. She told them I was mentally ill and a liar.

 

She shouldn't have disobeyed her parents. She lives under their roof. I DO have a problem with the mom and dad's use of profanity. Totally uncalled for. Demeaning and belittling is different from punishing for an infraction of the rules. Some people don't spank and may find the video "abusive", but that is a spanking. He did not 'beat' her with his hands or fists and he spanked her on the legs, for the most part. The mother was meddling, also, imo. Only one parent or the other need mete out the punishment.

 

My words for you would get me banned.

 

I watched the video.

 

It made my heart beat fast, brought tears to my eyes, and then I realized I was actually feeling afraid.

 

It's like I was my thirteen year old self again.

 

What that video shows is ABUSE. I don't care if that girl had just spat in her father's face. NOTHING makes what he did ok.

 

:iagree: I had the same reaction. I'm now physically ill.

[Liz CA]

I believe this has already hit the radio stations. On my way home from work I heard (car radio) about a video circulating of a parent beating a disabled daughter. This must be it - hoping there are not more than one. I am not sure if I will watch it. It may make me angry and sick and I cannot do anything about it.

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

Yes, you obviously haven't read the whole thread or all of my posts. Your response to my post is emotional and uninformed.

 

 

I responded to the post where you were questioning the victim.

 

 

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/02/disabled-teens-beating-judge-william-adams_n_1071822.html?ref=youtube

 

In this article Hilary states that she was sick of the abuse so set up a camera to catch it.

 

I understand what Cindergretta is saying about being too numb to cry, but I still think it is suspicious that it stops when her parents leave the room, not even any labored breathing that would come from the hard crying exhibited during the beating. I only question this because I've known a child who would make a huge fuss and act she was being killed and the minute she got her way she was all smiles. This same child would subject herself to severe physical situations, knowing full well what would happen going in, and then act like a victim later. There are some truly sick people out there. If Hilary is one of these people I think it's probably because of living with parents like that.Unfortunately I see situation similar in people I know. They just don't know what to do with their kids and the advice they get isn't what I would consider good for anyone in the situation. I wish there were parents like some of you on this board.

:confused: You even admit she was beaten and yet you're questioning her lack of labored breathing afterward. I'm sorry but that just seems really unbelievable to me.

[Cheryl in NM]

I responded to the post where you were questioning the victim..

 

You asked if I'd ever been spanked. Another post of mine went into detail. You wouldn't have asked that if you had be well read in the thread and/or my posts.

 

:confused: You even admit she was beaten and yet you're questioning her lack of labored breathing afterward. I'm sorry but that just seems really unbelievable to me.

 

If you will read all of my responses you will have my opinion in context. The parents were out of control and abusive. She received a beating. I wondered if Hilary acted in a way to make things worse since she was trying to catch a beating on tape. Please read my earlier post (#27, you can do an advanced search in this thread for my name and it will come up) regarding this and you will have my question in context.

 

Also see my post #84 for the context of my opinion and questions. Post #84 also shows the evolution of my thought process since post #21 which you referenced and are stuck on.

Edited November 3, 2011 by Cheryl in NM

[Leighton Academy]

Vomit...I could not watch it. I am utterly disgusted and sad that this happens to more children than we can imagine.

 

I am surprised by the reaction of some to her "lack" of crying once her parents left the room. Really?! Does she need to cry for us to realize that she was beaten??

[awisha.]

Everything about this thread is wrong. The clip was insanely horrid. Some of the replies in this thread are just unbelievable. Either we have more trolls here than we thought, or else some people need to get help. Immediately.

NO ONE deserves to be swung at with a THICK leather belt in hand.

NO ONE deserves to be criticised for crying or "not crying enough" during a beating.

 

People react differently to all sorts of situations and we don't know anything about this family apart from what the newspaper etc are saying. The girl is disabled and has probably been beaten most of her life and what you perceive as "suspicious" is most likely the way she has learnt to deal with the beatings. You know, be quiet when it's over or else get more beatings.

 

Absolutely sickening...

[Dayle in Guatemala]

He needs to be in prison. What a sick individual. Disgusting--I couldn't even get to 2 minutes before I started to cry for her. Poor baby. Where's the mother???? SHE should be charged as well.

[i.love.lucy]

I couldn't watch it....brings back too many childhood memories. :(

Yep. I did watch some, it was on the local news. I felt like I was watching my dad beat my brother.

 

:confused: This post acts like we are all sitting around viewing p*rn. :001_huh: A horrific thing happened to a young adult victim *who wants her story told and heard.* Watching this, discussing this, sheds light on this kind of garbage. Evil thrives in darkness, not out in the light. Ignoring this video allows the evil to thrive.

:iagree:

 

:iagree: I hope every parent who ever belted a child gets to lie awake tonight in a fearful sweat it was videoed.

:iagree:

I was beat with a belt like that when I was a child, only I did comply and bend over the arm of the couch when I was told. Usually I got somewhere between 6-12 whips, and they left welts and deep purple bruises across my bottom and back of my legs. I was 14 the last time my father hit me with a belt. I didn't record him (didn't have a video camera back then anyway), but I stood up to him after that beating and told him that he would NEVER touch me again or I would report him for child abuse. It wasn't the end of the emotional and verbal abuse, but he never did hit me again.

 

Did I cry while being whipped? Sure. Did I keep crying and whimpering when he was done? Absolutely not. I was pissed. I typically refused to talk to my parents more than I absolutely had to afterwards. I was often whipped and then grounded: a week, two weeks, a month, or even for the whole summer (no phone, no visitors, no leaving the house). Although I wasn't confined to my room, I refused to come out the entire time I was grounded. I stayed in there and read, coming out only to pee, shower, eat, and do my chores. I hated them. HATED them.

 

Please don't judge the girl for recording it. I totally understand why she would. Don't judge how she cried or didn't cry. When you're angry about being abused, you learn to bury your feelings, curl up inside yourself, and hide it.

:grouphug:

[Oops, duplicate account :/]

It's an odd sensation. We look at the video and are horrified. Then we start to notice things we have questions about. Then he doesn't deny it. It really leaves me unsettled.

 

It reminds me of:

 

I was raised in a spanking house. Mom told Dad to spank and he did. Mom spanked, with her hand, belt, wooden spoon (she broke 2 in the course of our childhoods-she still has one of them and uses it to cook with regularly. I shudder when I see it). Dad would get mad and swing, whatever he connected with is what you got. This didn't happen daily and was in response to a verifiable, punishable offense. As an adult I see it as the discipline it was intended, even though it was extreme at times. As a child I felt abused. When I was a teen I mouthed off frequently, there was no filter between the heart/brain and mouth (I know that doesn't surprise those of you here that know me). My mom would slap my face, sometimes hard. Once I had bruises, most of the time a hand print. Well, all I needed was to go to school once with marks on my face to notice the sympathy I received. After that I was spoiling for a fight with my mom. I instigated circumstances I knew I would be smacked in the face for. Then I'd act the victim at school. I'm so glad no one in authority took action, actually, I only did this in front of friends. I am not the person that I described in a previous post. Because of the person I mentioned previously and my own actions as a teen and what I'm reading on the internet about Hilary's situation I feel even more unsettled about her video. Yes, that kind of corporal punishment is wrong. Yes, Hilary's parents were out of control. It's like when you repeatedly tell your kid to do something and they don't. If you lose your temper and yell it kind of defeats the situation. You were right to tell them to do it, but then you yelled and it changed the situation to you now having to apologize. I'm not equating, just "thinking out loud". This whole situation is unsettling.

I'm on vicodin tonight, and I did miss this. :grouphug: I still am not sure I'm okay with picking apart her crying, but I'm just going to let it rest. Edited November 3, 2011 by JENinOR

[Cheryl in NM]

I'm on vicodin tonight, and I did miss this. :grouphug: I still am not sure I'm okay with picking apart her crying, but I'm just going to let it rest.

 

My point has been that I changed my mind about that after reading a post from another member here. It didn't occur to me that the crying could/would be controlled as part of the abuse. Once I realized that I dropped that suspicion. The problem is that people read that and quit reading anything else I had to say (not just you). It happens, I've done it as well. No hard feelings on my part. :) I hope you feel better soon.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

She shouldn't have disobeyed her parents. She lives under their roof. I DO have a problem with the mom and dad's use of profanity. Totally uncalled for. Demeaning and belittling is different from punishing for an infraction of the rules. Some people don't spank and may find the video "abusive", but that is a spanking. He did not 'beat' her with his hands or fists and he spanked her on the legs, for the most part. The mother was meddling, also, imo. Only one parent or the other need mete out the punishment.

 

 

What you just posted is beyond disturbing.

[WishboneDawn]

I just saw it on the news. I actually had a stomach ache watching it-and that was only a short clip-it went on for 7 minutes.

 

That is NOT right. Not. That man has anger issues and needs to be taken OFF the bench. There is no way he should be allowed to administer justice as a family court judge. Because what he dealt out was not justice. Solomon he is not.

 

The poor daughter is said to be sorry she released it-I feel sorry for her, but she did do the right thing. She really didn't realize how wrong it is.

 

I did see something regarding the fact that their have been questions raised about him in the past regarding decisions he's made in family cases.

 

The video directly speaks to his competence in that arena. The girl's act may have helped more people then just herself.