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Holy mac n cheese! Have you seen this jerk's video?


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My point has been that I changed my mind about that after reading a post from another member here. It didn't occur to me that the crying could/would be controlled as part of the abuse. Once I realized that I dropped that suspicion. The problem is that people read that and quit reading anything else I had to say (not just you). It happens, I've done it as well. No hard feelings on my part. :) I hope you feel better soon.

 

I think that way of responding before a whole thread has been read (something I've done as well) is the big drawback of this medium. I think it was probably a valuable thing that you shared your initial thoughts so you could get feedback on them and understand why the girls reaction was not unusual and I'm glad you did because it gave me some insight as well.

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My point has been that I changed my mind about that after reading a post from another member here. It didn't occur to me that the crying could/would be controlled as part of the abuse. Once I realized that I dropped that suspicion. The problem is that people read that and quit reading anything else I had to say (not just you). It happens, I've done it as well. No hard feelings on my part. :) I hope you feel better soon.

 

 

Even if she pushed *his* buttons, she didn't do anything, objectively speaking, to provoke this kind of horrific verbal and physical abuse.

 

What if your learned of some evidence that she did in fact try to bait him? How would it change the situation, exactly? I still don't understand your point here. :confused:

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Even if she pushed *his* buttons, she didn't do anything, objectively speaking, to provoke this kind of horrific verbal and physical abuse.

 

What if your learned of some evidence that she did in fact try to bait him? How would it change the situation, exactly? I still don't understand your point here. :confused:

 

I think Cheryl's thoughts on this are evolving, she just needs us to give her some space for that.

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Good for Hillary. There are other, more effective ways to change a child's behavior than beating them. Her father has made his bed, and now it is time for him to deal with the consequences of his actions. I would worry about him going off on even deeper end, though.

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Sorry, but anyone who could watch that and NOT find it horrifying is demented. Period. And I had a fairly abusive childhood, too. Which is why I would never think to blame the girl in that video. Honestly, I think you might just be full of it. And a troll.

 

My words for you would get me banned.

 

What you just posted is beyond disturbing.

 

I think Cheryl's thoughts on this are evolving, she just needs us to give her some space for that.

 

Please see post #80. Interesting that "Cheryl's thoughts" can evolve, but no on else's? I already apologized and offered myself to be more open-minded. Where is the forgiveness? I am really upset. Yes, I said what I said, but it was with honesty and from my own experience. The board said that my view was wrong. I so much so stated that that is the case and that I apologize. I wasn't try to rile people up or anything. Don't people get a second chance around here?

 

**Very sad and upset here**

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I really think that evaluating her reaction is beside the point. It was a situation where abuse was present and constant - her mom supports that. Looking for "normal" reactions from people is such upside-down and damaging situations is a lost cause.

 

There's nothing my kids could do to bait me into beating them over and over with a belt. I'm the parent, the adult and if, by the time my kids were as old as she was, I could still be baited into losing control like that I'd be seeking some help.

 

I also think any references to spanking, whether condemning spanking or supporting it, have no place in this discussion. That was a beating, physical abuse, not a spanking.

 

:iagree: (obviously, as I did everything I possibly could to make that part stand out. :D

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I couldn't watch the whole thing. I had to stop, because it struck too close to my own experiences when I was growing up.

 

I'm someone who got hit by a belt many, many times (and by a wooden spoon, and once hit with a coat hanger), and there were times I refused to cry much at all because I didn't want to give the person hitting me that satisfaction. It's not just about pain--it's about humiliation. Being made to lose control of your emotions and crying is its own form of harm.

 

As to why she recorded it, she has been quoted in a few articles now as explaining that the violence happened in cycles (that was my experience, too), and she just knew it was going to get really bad again very soon. Also, she's made references to how people now believe her and her mom, where she'd been accused of lying in the past.

 

I suspect that she'd tried telling certain folks in her community, but no one wanted to believe that a nice, well-to-do family, with an upstanding judge and community leader for a father, could really be that messed up. I can almost guarantee that anything she complained about was likely chalked up to "spoiled teen drama."

 

So, she finally got tired of it (and maybe scared enough) that she went about getting proof. But, once she had it, she was also frightened about what would happen if she shared it--it would mean huge upheaval, with her still being a minor at the time. What if her dad was thrown in jail? Would she be separated from the rest of her family? And so forth.

 

I think she chose the "better the known hell than the unknown heaven" route, but kept the video just in case.

 

I'm glad she finally released it, if for no other reason for people in that community to know that this judge is a cretin and a bully. Leaders should be examples of, not exceptions to, the law.

 

 

There is just no situation in which what this man did was okay. None. If someone went out and randomly beat another person with a leather strap, it would be considered an assault. Just because a person is related genetically to an abuser, shouldn't mean that person gets a special pass. Especially when there's such a power differential between an adult and child.

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Oh, and I also wanted to mention that I found the whole adult male authority figure telling a 16 year old female to get on the bed on her a**, then being told to "take it like a woman" from her own mother, and that he was going to "beat her until she submitted" to be beyond the pale. So many levels of wrong there.

 

There were moments when I my heart was pounding in a panic because I was just so gut certain he was going to cross the line from sexualized violence, to outright sexual assault.

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Please see post #80. Interesting that "Cheryl's thoughts" can evolve, but no on else's? I already apologized and offered myself to be more open-minded. Where is the forgiveness? I am really upset. Yes, I said what I said, but it was with honesty and from my own experience. The board said that my view was wrong. I so much so stated that that is the case and that I apologize. I wasn't try to rile people up or anything. Don't people get a second chance around here?

 

**Very sad and upset here**

 

This is a lot of drama.

 

My comment about Cheryl was mine alone and referred only to her. It wasn't some great board or hive mind decree about the greater state of this thread or the people posting here.

 

But honestly, you said something inflammatory and got some well-deserved heat over it. Whether people choose to forgive that is their individual choice, not something you can guilt them into. Suck it, get over it and move on.

Edited by WishboneDawn
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You are right. I choose to move on. Playground bullies on this board aren't going to keep me awake at night. I don't NEED forgiveness, I already know that I am forgiven WHERE IT COUNTS, but I do note the absence of it on this oh-so-pious board. I'm just glad I can look in the mirror and know that I was honest, repentant, and open. I feel pity and sadness for the holier-than- thous who act like this judge did (verbal assaults and name calling) and call it okay because two wrongs make a right to them.

 

Not to me. I have made my amends and am now at peace. Perhaps I needed this lesson. Only the universe knows, I guess. I harbor no grudge or resentment toward anyone.

 

:001_smile:

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I've watched the video a second time, by myself without hubby so I could really listen. Here's my take on it.

 

The beating was excessive, it was DEFINITELY abuse. I was hit with a belt as a child and teen and you know what? I DESERVED it! I needed it. I was a rebellious, mouthy, out of control teen and my parents were doing the best they could. I never did drugs or was promiscuous, but I took off one weekend and went to NYC with a friend at 16 and told my parents *nothing*. They thought I was sleeping at my friends house, and her mother thought she was sleeping at my house. When they found out the truth that night my mother was physically ill, worried to death about where I was.

 

They didn't know if I was dead, in jail, in the hospital. Nothing. My point is that we don't know HOW this girl was. Sure, she had CP, but that doesn't mean she wasn't a disrespectful teen. She said at the start of the video that she was downloading songs illegally because it was "easier than paying for them". Well, it's easier for my to walk into a store and leave carrying the things I want, but I HAVE to pay for them. She should be taught a lesson. Not to this extent, but I can see a few lickings fine when done from a level head.

 

I want to repeat that this father did go WAY over board here, but we don't know what else this girl had done. He stated that she used to be an obedient, sweet, caring daughter. And that she'd changed. I don't know. Maybe if the parents had set up a camera and taped her actions we'd be having a different discussion. There are plenty of times I've seen a kid (teenager) do something and would LOVE to wring their bloody, little neck.

 

Just sayin.

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Please see post #80. Interesting that "Cheryl's thoughts" can evolve, but no on else's? I already apologized and offered myself to be more open-minded. Where is the forgiveness? I am really upset. Yes, I said what I said, but it was with honesty and from my own experience. The board said that my view was wrong. I so much so stated that that is the case and that I apologize. I wasn't try to rile people up or anything. Don't people get a second chance around here?

 

**Very sad and upset here**

 

Your thoughts never evolved. You stated one thing drastically one way, than stated the complete opposite.

 

You are most likely a troll, or at the very least a person who likes to stir the pot.

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You are right. I choose to move on. Playground bullies on this board aren't going to keep me awake at night. I don't NEED forgiveness, I already know that I am forgiven WHERE IT COUNTS, but I do note the absence of it on this oh-so-pious board. I'm just glad I can look in the mirror and know that I was honest, repentant, and open. I feel pity and sadness for the holier-than- thous who act like this judge did (verbal assaults and name calling) and call it okay because two wrongs make a right to them.

 

Not to me. I have made my amends and am now at peace. Perhaps I needed this lesson. Only the universe knows, I guess. I harbor no grudge or resentment toward anyone.

 

:001_smile:

 

 

 

 

 

 

:nopity:

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I've watched the video a second time, by myself without hubby so I could really listen. Here's my take on it.

 

The beating was excessive, it was DEFINITELY abuse. I was hit with a belt as a child and teen and you know what? I DESERVED it! I needed it. I was a rebellious, mouthy, out of control teen and my parents were doing the best they could. I never did drugs or was promiscuous, but I took off one weekend and went to NYC with a friend at 16 and told my parents *nothing*. They thought I was sleeping at my friends house, and her mother thought she was sleeping at my house. When they found out the truth that night my mother was physically ill, worried to death about where I was.

 

They didn't know if I was dead, in jail, in the hospital. Nothing. My point is that we don't know HOW this girl was. Sure, she had CP, but that doesn't mean she wasn't a disrespectful teen. She said at the start of the video that she was downloading songs illegally because it was "easier than paying for them". Well, it's easier for my to walk into a store and leave carrying the things I want, but I HAVE to pay for them. She should be taught a lesson. Not to this extent, but I can see a few lickings fine when done from a level head.

 

I want to repeat that this father did go WAY over board here, but we don't know what else this girl had done. He stated that she used to be an obedient, sweet, caring daughter. And that she'd changed. I don't know. Maybe if the parents had set up a camera and taped her actions we'd be having a different discussion. There are plenty of times I've seen a kid (teenager) do something and would LOVE to wring their bloody, little neck.

 

Just sayin.

 

Really? Wow.

If you have to beat your teenage daughter with a belt, you have completely and utterly failed as a parent. Period.

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I've watched the video a second time, by myself without hubby so I could really listen. Here's my take on it.

 

The beating was excessive, it was DEFINITELY abuse. I was hit with a belt as a child and teen and you know what? I DESERVED it! I needed it. I was a rebellious, mouthy, out of control teen and my parents were doing the best they could. I never did drugs or was promiscuous, but I took off one weekend and went to NYC with a friend at 16 and told my parents *nothing*. They thought I was sleeping at my friends house, and her mother thought she was sleeping at my house. When they found out the truth that night my mother was physically ill, worried to death about where I was.

 

They didn't know if I was dead, in jail, in the hospital. Nothing. My point is that we don't know HOW this girl was. Sure, she had CP, but that doesn't mean she wasn't a disrespectful teen. She said at the start of the video that she was downloading songs illegally because it was "easier than paying for them". Well, it's easier for my to walk into a store and leave carrying the things I want, but I HAVE to pay for them. She should be taught a lesson. Not to this extent, but I can see a few lickings fine when done from a level head.

 

I want to repeat that this father did go WAY over board here, but we don't know what else this girl had done. He stated that she used to be an obedient, sweet, caring daughter. And that she'd changed. I don't know. Maybe if the parents had set up a camera and taped her actions we'd be having a different discussion. There are plenty of times I've seen a kid (teenager) do something and would LOVE to wring their bloody, little neck.

 

Just sayin.

 

No child "deserves" being assaulted by his or her parent. Period. I'm sorry you feel this way.

 

You need help to stop justidying your parents' abuse. I'm sorry you had to experience it, but unless you are able to see this, you perpetuate the cycle.

Edited by sunflowers
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I want to repeat that this father did go WAY over board here, but we don't know what else this girl had done. He stated that she used to be an obedient, sweet, caring daughter. And that she'd changed. I don't know. Maybe if the parents had set up a camera and taped her actions we'd be having a different discussion. There are plenty of times I've seen a kid (teenager) do something and would LOVE to wring their bloody, little neck.

Just sayin.

 

Yes, but for most parents there's a barrier between wanting to do it and actually doing it.

 

Her mom has stated the situation was abusive.

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Yes, but for most parents there's a barrier between wanting to do it and actually doing it.

 

This. As the adult in the situation, the parent has a responsibility to respond with restraint and maturity. You might feel like wringing a child's neck or slapping them in the face, but those are not the actions of mature, responsible adults. That's just stooping to the child's level.

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The beating was excessive, it was DEFINITELY abuse. I was hit with a belt as a child and teen and you know what? I DESERVED it! I needed it. I was a rebellious, mouthy, out of control teen and my parents were doing the best they could. I never did drugs or was promiscuous, but I took off one weekend and went to NYC with a friend at 16 and told my parents *nothing*. They thought I was sleeping at my friends house, and her mother thought she was sleeping at my house. When they found out the truth that night my mother was physically ill, worried to death about where I was.

 

 

.

 

I tried to stay out of this but what I bolded makes me feel ill.

 

You can't see the cycle of abuse here?

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Really? Wow.

If you have to beat your teenage daughter with a belt, you have completely and utterly failed as a parent. Period.

 

I personally would never "beat" my daughter or sons with a belt. But there are those that think a few swats with one is fine. Parents have to discipline their children. Groundings don't always work for some. They didn't work on me.

 

No child "deserves" being assaulted by his or her parent. Period. I'm sorry you feel this way.

 

You need help to stop justidying your parents' abuse. I'm sorry you had to experience it, but unless you are able to see this, you perpetuate the cycle.

 

My father just passed away 4 months ago. I miss him dearly and hold no bitterness or anger toward him. He was the one who held the belt. I have MANY more good memories of him that of the times I was corrected. I'm thankful to my parents for bringing me up the way they did. I myself am not able to spank my children, because I just don't have the stomach to hear my kids cry from my spanking them. So, no cycle being carried out.

 

Yes, but for most parents there's a barrier between wanting to do it and actually doing it.

 

Her mom has stated the situation was abusive.

 

I guess because I'm not their parent, the teens I see would be deserving in my eyes. Believe me, some kids would benefit from a good switching every now and then.

 

Her husband was also obnoxious and controlling. Doesn't mean she got out just because of the beatings. I don't know the whole family dynamics.

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I guess because I'm not their parent, the teens I see would be deserving in my eyes. Believe me, some kids would benefit from a good switching every now and then.

 

What evidence do you have of that?

 

You mention that, when you were a teen, you snuck out and scared your parents nearly to death. My sister did that once, too: she and her friends caught a train to NYC and went to a rave.

 

My parents were also furious with her when they found out. She got a very long, disappointed lecture, and was grounded for a month.

 

She is a responsible, caring, decent person as an adult. She didn't need a beating to get her in line.

 

I think I'm a responsible, caring, decent adult, as well. I was sometimes mouthy and rebellious as a teen; I think most teens are. I never got beaten. I was never even grounded. I simply matured out of most of it, and my parents guided me there with patience and the occasional lecture.

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I personally would never "beat" my daughter or sons with a belt. But there are those that think a few swats with one is fine. Parents have to discipline their children. Groundings don't always work for some. They didn't work on me.

 

That was intended as a general "you".

I say again without hesitation or reservation, that any parent who has to beat their teenage child with a belt has failed as a parent.

 

 

I guess because I'm not their parent, the teens I see would be deserving in my eyes. Believe me, some kids would benefit from a good switching every now and then.

 

And some of those children have been "switched", and that abuse is what sometimes generates the behaviors you see.

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Guest submarines
I personally would never "beat" my daughter or sons with a belt. But there are those that think a few swats with one is fine. Parents have to discipline their children. Groundings don't always work for some. They didn't work on me.

 

 

Why do you put "beat" in quatation marks? Is "spanking" with a belt okay then? If you personally can't do it, would you allow your husband do it? This logic is sickenning.

 

I guess because I'm not their parent, the teens I see would be deserving in my eyes. Believe me, some kids would benefit from a good switching every now and then.

 

Deserving of a beating? How do you justify beating a human being? How? How? (Other than self-defence)

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I guess I just don't see all physical punishment as abuse.

 

This certainly was though. Without a doubt. Some times I'd be crying before even getting the first swat. I wouldn't get hit nearly as hard as this poor girl did. My dad swung lightly compared to this. And only like twice. Three swats tops.

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Did anyone see the dad's response to this yet? It's very revealing.

 

"I really don't want to get into this right now because as you can see my life's been made very difficult over this child," he said. "In my mind I have not done anything wrong other than discipline my child when she was caught stealing. I did lose my temper, I've apologized."

 

"my life's been made very difficult"...hmmm...it's all about him I guess. And obviously he still doesn't get it.

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Why do you put "beat" in quatation marks? Is "spanking" with a belt okay then? If you personally can't do it, would you allow your husband do it? This logic is sickenning.

 

 

 

Deserving of a beating? How do you justify beating a human being? How? How? (Other than self-defence)

 

Both my husband and myself don't spank our children. There was an occasion where I did spank my boys with a belt *one* time for purposefully injuring our cat. They thought it great fun to torture the poor thing. I lost it momentarily and spanked each one one time with the belt. I felt terrible and sobbed heartbroken and apologized to them afterward. It was something I vowed never to do again. To use an object to punish them. But if they needed it I wouldn't hesitate to let my husband spank them with just an open hand on the bottom. Naughty corners don't always work. Believe me we've tried. But my children are very well behaved so this far we don't have to worry about it.

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Did anyone see the dad's response to this yet? It's very revealing.

 

"I really don't want to get into this right now because as you can see my life's been made very difficult over this child," he said. "In my mind I have not done anything wrong other than discipline my child when she was caught stealing. I did lose my temper, I've apologized."

 

"my life's been made very difficult"...hmmm...it's all about him I guess. And obviously he still doesn't get it.

 

"This child" -- distancing language and not using given names are consistent with abuse of children.

 

And who calls a 20 something a child?

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Did anyone see the dad's response to this yet? It's very revealing.

 

"I really don't want to get into this right now because as you can see my life's been made very difficult over this child," he said. "In my mind I have not done anything wrong other than discipline my child when she was caught stealing. I did lose my temper, I've apologized."

 

"my life's been made very difficult"...hmmm...it's all about him I guess. And obviously he still doesn't get it.

 

Yikes. Even more disturbing than this father failure is the number of people I've seen defending him online. They're in the minority, but I'm surprised to find any at all.

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I did see something regarding the fact that their have been questions raised about him in the past regarding decisions he's made in family cases.

 

The video directly speaks to his competence in that arena. The girl's act may have helped more people then just herself.

 

Good.

 

No child "deserves" being assaulted by his or her parent. Period.

 

:iagree: if he had done that in public he would have been arrested without a second thought.

 

This. As the adult in the situation, the parent has a responsibility to respond with restraint and maturity. You might feel like wringing a child's neck or slapping them in the face, but those are not the actions of mature, responsible adults. That's just stooping to the child's level.

 

We are called to be the mature ones when it comes to disciplining our children. That was abuse, not discipline. I've never seen youtube put a warning on a video of that nature. They don't do that lightly I'm sure.

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I could not bring myself to watch this video. The descriptions and reports have been quite enough.

 

No child or teen deserves a physical, verbal and emotional assault from their parents. It is disgusting. And I am really astounded by those who defend this guy, under any circumstances.

 

I have had teens act out. Teens can be tough. They can be stupid. They can be intentionally provocative. That means SOMEBODY has to be the grown-up and teach them the right way, through example, patience, and appropriate discipline. To do this, you must maintain control of yourself.

 

Inexcusable. Deplorable. Despicable.

 

And mommy stood by and told her to take it like a woman? Incredible. Anybody who attempted to go after one of my kids that way would be wearing a frying pan for a hat.

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Guest submarines
Both my husband and myself don't spank our children. There was an occasion where I did spank my boys with a belt *one* time for purposefully injuring our cat. They thought it great fun to torture the poor thing. I lost it momentarily and spanked each one one time with the belt. I felt terrible and sobbed heartbroken and apologized to them afterward. It was something I vowed never to do again. To use an object to punish them. But if they needed it I wouldn't hesitate to let my husband spank them with just an open hand on the bottom. Naughty corners don't always work. Believe me we've tried. But my children are very well behaved so this far we don't have to worry about it.

 

Your children are 8 and 6??? Naughty corners??

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For the love of everything holy!! That girl did not receive a spanking. She received a beating. She was assaulted, physically and verbally and emotionally. That man needs someone to jack him up.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

This judge should be in prison. End of story. He sure as %$#!%$# shouldn't be passing judgment on anyone ever again.

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You are right. I choose to move on. Playground bullies on this board aren't going to keep me awake at night. I don't NEED forgiveness, I already know that I am forgiven WHERE IT COUNTS, but I do note the absence of it on this oh-so-pious board. I'm just glad I can look in the mirror and know that I was honest, repentant, and open. I feel pity and sadness for the holier-than- thous who act like this judge did (verbal assaults and name calling) and call it okay because two wrongs make a right to them.

 

Not to me. I have made my amends and am now at peace. Perhaps I needed this lesson. Only the universe knows, I guess. I harbor no grudge or resentment toward anyone.

 

:001_smile:

 

Wow, nice victim act. Unfortunately, I don't buy it. You're acting all traumatized and guilt trippy toward a bunch of women on a message board for simply disagreeing with you while initially defending the most reprehensible behavior I've ever seen caught on tape. There's a serious issue with your view of reality.

 

Oh and for the people nitpicking this girl's behavior on the video (what kind of person even does that?) when I was in her shoes... I refused to cry at all. What would you have said? That the pain and humiliation wasn't real because I wasn't sobbing enough?

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You're acting all traumatized and guilt trippy toward a bunch of women on a message board for simply disagreeing with you while initially defending the most reprehensible behavior I've ever seen caught on tape. There's a serious issue with your view of reality.

 

This story was in my local paper. And what do people around here say? "Keep the belt in bible belt". Yes, you read that right. There is a whole class of American who says this is A-OKAY.

 

I live in the deep south. You do xyz and you get your *ss "cut". Saw a butt-beating in Target just last week. Commonplace here. This is also a cultural issue. Where I was raised (OCONUS), she not only deserved her whipping, she then dishonored her family by posting it on the internet.

 

I am not saying I agree with it. I never EVER did. I gave another perception and I DID say that I have a skewed view as a result of being raised that way. I had no emotions when watching the video, so maybe I'll look at that, but I hardly think I am a monster for viewing it that way.

 

Sincerely,

Demented schizophrenic troll :lol::lol:

 

:chillpill:

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This story was in my local paper. And what do people around here say? "Keep the belt in bible belt". Yes, you read that right. There is a whole class of American who says this is A-OKAY.

 

I live in the deep south. You do xyz and you get your *ss "cut". Saw a butt-beating in Target just last week. Commonplace here. This is also a cultural issue. Where I was raised (OCONUS), she not only deserved her whipping, she then dishonored her family by posting it on the internet.

 

I am not saying I agree with it. I never EVER did. I gave another perception and I DID say that I have a skewed view as a result of being raised that way. I had no emotions when watching the video, so maybe I'll look at that, but I hardly think I am a monster for viewing it that way.

 

Sincerely,

Demented schizophrenic troll :lol::lol:

 

:chillpill:

 

It's still assault, even in Charleston. :001_huh:

 

Honey, I lived in the deep south for five years, okay resided, because I am not a southerner. I never saw anyone beat their child like that, in public, in private, at all. Now, it was the other side of the deep south, but it was definitely not cultural there.

 

There's a difference between a spanking, a spanking with a belt (won't even go there), and abuse. I doubt you tube would put a warning on a video about a normal spanking.

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It's still assault, even in Charleston. :001_huh:

 

Honey, I lived in the deep south for five years, okay resided, because I am not a southerner. I never saw anyone beat their child like that, in public, in private, at all. Now, it was the other side of the deep south, but it was definitely not cultural there.

 

There's a difference between a spanking, a spanking with a belt (won't even go there), and abuse. I doubt you tube would put a warning on a video about a normal spanking.

I agree. I currently live in the Charleston area and lets just say if I saw anyone beating the ass of anyone in public I would report them. I am a mandatory reporter...yep you read that right I see anything and I have to report it or I could lose my job and forfeit any chance to have licensure in the future. I see some definite different ways from how I parent and I recognize "cultural differences" but this is not cultural differences and I guarantee you CPS would have something to say something about this.

Here is the SC law on physical/corporal discipline:

SOUTH CAROLINA

 

"Harm" includes excessive corporal punishment. "Harm" does not include corporal punishment or physical discipline if- Administered by a parent or person acting in place of a parent, Perpetrated for the sole purpose of restraining or correcting, Force is reasonable in manner and moderate in degree, There is no permanent damage, and Behavior is not reckless or grossly negligent. Sec. 20-7-490.[Ci.]

 

from this website: http://familyrightsassociation.com/info/spanking_laws.htm

 

No, the law isn't overly clear but at the same time this kind of hitting is causing harm and is grossly negligent and reckless. It is also not reasonable to use this kind of force.

 

Here are the assault laws: http://www.assaultandbattery.org/south-carolina/

Edited by jillian
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I could not bring myself to watch this video. The descriptions and reports have been quite enough.

 

No child or teen deserves a physical, verbal and emotional assault from their parents. It is disgusting. And I am really astounded by those who defend this guy, under any circumstances.

 

I have had teens act out. Teens can be tough. They can be stupid. They can be intentionally provocative. That means SOMEBODY has to be the grown-up and teach them the right way, through example, patience, and appropriate discipline. To do this, you must maintain control of yourself.

 

Inexcusable. Deplorable. Despicable.

And mommy stood by and told her to take it like a woman? Incredible. Anybody who attempted to go after one of my kids that way would be wearing a frying pan for a hat.

 

You have taken this out of context. It is understandable because you didn't watch the video. Please, those of you who do not wish to watch the video realize that you are having an uninformed discussion.

 

What you are talking about in the bolded section is where the mother took the belt from the dad. Told the daughter to bend over the bed to receive her spanking. The mother then gives Hilary one swat with the belt and walks out, the dad follows. This mother exhibited a spanking in that very small section of the tape. It would not be considered abuse by spanking parents.

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I think that way of responding before a whole thread has been read (something I've done as well) is the big drawback of this medium. I think it was probably a valuable thing that you shared your initial thoughts so you could get feedback on them and understand why the girls reaction was not unusual and I'm glad you did because it gave me some insight as well.

 

Thank you.

 

Even if she pushed *his* buttons, she didn't do anything, objectively speaking, to provoke this kind of horrific verbal and physical abuse.

 

What if your learned of some evidence that she did in fact try to bait him? How would it change the situation, exactly? I still don't understand your point here. :confused:

 

Please read all of my previous posts. My points are laid out explicitly. If you still have questions I'll be happy to answer them. :)

 

Oh, and I also wanted to mention that I found the whole adult male authority figure telling a 16 year old female to get on the bed on her a**, then being told to "take it like a woman" from her own mother, and that he was going to "beat her until she submitted" to be beyond the pale. So many levels of wrong there.

 

There were moments when I my heart was pounding in a panic because I was just so gut certain he was going to cross the line from sexualized violence, to outright sexual assault.

 

I don't understand the "sexualized violence". Is it because he wanted to spank her on her bottom? Originally, that was all this was supposed to be, at least that what he said in the video. I'm not saying she deserved it; she didn't. Just that, I think in his mind, if everything had gone exactly like he expected or envisioned, she would have bent over the bed, he would have smacked her on the rear a number of time (number=?) and it would have been over. I think he lost control. I saw an overwhelmed, frustrated parent who lost control, not a malicious child abuser. When I think of a malicious child abuser I envision someone who walks up to a child and starts swinging and the child has committed no offense. Again, I'm not saying Hilary deserved this. I'm saying, I think the father thought he was disciplining, he's said as much. Anyway, what do you mean by "sexualized violence"?

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What you are talking about in the bolded section is where the mother took the belt from the dad. Told the daughter to bend over the bed to receive her spanking. The mother then gives Hilary one swat with the belt and walks out, the dad follows. This mother exhibited a spanking in that very small section of the tape. It would not be considered abuse by spanking parents.

 

"Spanking" a 16 year old female in any form, including a belt, is abuse, including sexual.

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Cheryl, I'm confused how you don't see someone saying, "Bend over and take it like a woman," as NOT sexual. That father was just a little too interested in getting Hillary's butt, IMO. He was obsessed with it and she was already crying and in pain. What more was the butt going to do except gratify this jerk in some way??

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I don't understand the "sexualized violence". Is it because he wanted to spank her on her bottom? Originally, that was all this was supposed to be, at least that what he said in the video. I'm not saying she deserved it; she didn't. Just that, I think in his mind, if everything had gone exactly like he expected or envisioned, she would have bent over the bed, he would have smacked her on the rear a number of time (number=?) and it would have been over. I think he lost control. I saw an overwhelmed, frustrated parent who lost control, not a malicious child abuser. When I think of a malicious child abuser I envision someone who walks up to a child and starts swinging and the child has committed no offense. Again, I'm not saying Hilary deserved this. I'm saying, I think the father thought he was disciplining, he's said as much. Anyway, what do you mean by "sexualized violence"?

Then, no disrespect intended, you're wrong. Completely.

 

Frankly, it doesn't matter if the child committed an offence. Abuse is abuse is abuse. I did things wrong as a kid. Absolutely. I still didn't deserve to get beaten with a belt, punched, kicked, thrown into walls, dragged around by my hair, hit with tools...

 

Someone that uses their position of trust, authority and control to exhibit violence, to terrorize a child IS a malicious child abuser. They're doing it for their own benefit, b/c anyone with a cpl of brain cells to rub together can figure out that the KID is not getting anything positive out of it.

 

The abuser WILL claim that they were just disciplining...in the same way that a husband claims he wasn't r*ping his wife, just asserting his marital rights.

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I've watched the video a second time, by myself without hubby so I could really listen. Here's my take on it.

 

The beating was excessive, it was DEFINITELY abuse. I was hit with a belt as a child and teen and you know what? I DESERVED it! I needed it. I was a rebellious, mouthy, out of control teen and my parents were doing the best they could. I never did drugs or was promiscuous, but I took off one weekend and went to NYC with a friend at 16 and told my parents *nothing*. They thought I was sleeping at my friends house, and her mother thought she was sleeping at my house. When they found out the truth that night my mother was physically ill, worried to death about where I was.

 

They didn't know if I was dead, in jail, in the hospital. Nothing. My point is that we don't know HOW this girl was. Sure, she had CP, but that doesn't mean she wasn't a disrespectful teen. She said at the start of the video that she was downloading songs illegally because it was "easier than paying for them". Well, it's easier for my to walk into a store and leave carrying the things I want, but I HAVE to pay for them. She should be taught a lesson. Not to this extent, but I can see a few lickings fine when done from a level head.

 

I want to repeat that this father did go WAY over board here, but we don't know what else this girl had done. He stated that she used to be an obedient, sweet, caring daughter. And that she'd changed. I don't know. Maybe if the parents had set up a camera and taped her actions we'd be having a different discussion. There are plenty of times I've seen a kid (teenager) do something and would LOVE to wring their bloody, little neck.

 

Just sayin.

 

I counsel teens in a residential treatment center (not specifically substance related). These kids have done many things that were risky, inappropriate, illegal, and showed very poor choices.

 

All of them had been "disciplined". All of them have been punished. NOT ONE OF THEM deserves to be physically disciplined by adults who are supposed to love, serve, protect, and guide them. Nothing this girl could have done would change my reaction.

 

This book is a good understanding of the "I was treated harshly and turned out ok" pattern/dynamic:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Drama-Gifted-Child-Search-True/dp/0465012612/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1320359165&sr=1-1

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Then, no disrespect intended, you're wrong. Completely.

 

Frankly, it doesn't matter if the child committed an offence. Abuse is abuse is abuse. I did things wrong as a kid. Absolutely. I still didn't deserve to get beaten with a belt, punched, kicked, thrown into walls, dragged around by my hair, hit with tools...

 

Someone that uses their position of trust, authority and control to exhibit violence, to terrorize a child IS a malicious child abuser. They're doing it for their own benefit, b/c anyone with a cpl of brain cells to rub together can figure out that the KID is not getting anything positive out of it.

 

The abuser WILL claim that they were just disciplining...in the same way that a husband claims he wasn't r*ping his wife, just asserting his marital rights.

:hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray::hurray:

absolutely

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