College...please tell me I'm not alone here...

[twoforjoy]

Other.

 

If we can pay for our kids to go to college (or if one/both of us is working at a university and they can attend for free), then we will. If we can't, we can't.

 

As to the "entitled" issue, I don't know. I think that students should be entitled to a college education provided they meet certain academic criteria, because that is now an expectation for many jobs. But, I don't think that parents are the ones who should have to pay for it. I'd prefer to see us have a system more like European countries, where less people go to college and it's harder to get in but its fully or largely subsidized for those who do go.

 

Given how things currently are, I'd say that if a parent insists that their child attends college, then that child is entitled to having their college education paid for by said parent. In other situations, I think it's a very good thing if a parent can pay for their child's education and does so, but it's not something that I think they must do.

[mommaduck]

My parents are doing something similar for my brother, who is in his 2nd year of law school. My grandfather, who was a lawyer, had always told us grandkids that he'd help out if any of us wanted to go to law school. Unfortunately, neither he nor my grandmother lived long enough to see my brother matriculate. But my dad decided to use some of the inheritance he received to pay for a year of law school. However, he told my brother it would be the 3rd year that would be paid. :lol: If my brother washed out of the program before that, any resulting loans would be his to pay back alone.

That is awesome. *can I go kick my dad for blowing his portion off of selling the family property?*

[DawnM]

Did they agree to pay for a full 6 years if she needed it? My dad did stipulate that I could take as long as I wanted to finish college but the money from him would run out after 4 years! :lol:

 

I think I was the only one of my friends to finish in 4 years!

 

Dawn

 

Along a similar line, a friend of mine had to sign a contract with her parents that she would finish her degree within six years, barring a major complication such as a health issue, and that she would maintain a 3.0 G.P.A., plus never end up the subject of a disciplinary hearing at the school or get in trouble with the law. In exchange, they would pay her tuition and books. If she did not abide by the contract, payments back to mom and dad were expected within six months of leaving school.

 

She finished. As a matter of fact, when she got engaged her sophomore year, her dad showed the contract to her fiance and asked him what his plan was.After reading the contract the boy's plan was for her to finish. Prior to that, he was actually thinking she would quit school and work while he finished his senior year. Boy changed his tune! She finished. He finished. Then they got married.

 

Her younger brother made it through four semesters and decided he really didn't want to continue. He got a good job and began paying his parents back. When he got married three years later, they presented him with all the money he'd paid back to them as a wedding gift. I thought that was really nice.

 

Faith

[FaithManor]

I keep hearing variations on this; however, by and large it wasn't what I observed when I was in college. Maybe it was because the school I attended attracted primarily Type A overachievers, but I did not observe any general difference in motivation between those who had their educations paid for by their family's generosity and those (like my DH) who financed it themselves.

 

The only difference I saw in college was that the kids who had to work 20 hrs. per week or even more, were very poor students. It wasn't that they didn't work hard, it was that the job and all of the schoolwork overwhelmed them, or the boss would call and demand that they fill in at the last second and they had to skip class or an important lab, etc. Many of the kids I went to school with who had to work more than say 10 hrs. per week eventually dropped out. I think they would have probably been great students if they could have just concentrated on school.

 

But, I have a jaded perspective. It's basically impossible to go to school and work and be in music performance. We needed 132 credits to graduate and a minimum of 4 hrs. per day practice. Most of the time the music majors carried 18-21 credit hours per semester which is a total of 54-63 hrs. of class/homework (depending on how efficient you were but I can tell you there is virtually no way to compose a three part-invention in the style of Bach, rapidly) plus the 4 hrs. per day of practice based on a seven day work week...yes, unless we barfed up a lung and had ex-rays to prove it or a parent showed up with a death certificate, one didn't get away with a day off on the weekend. That's 28 hrs. which brings us to a total of 82-91 hrs. per week. If one sleeps even a little, I'm not certain where a job would happen in there. Just possibly this is why so many of my fellow musicians adopted substance abuse to get by. :001_huh:

 

No wonder I don't recommend anyone major in music performance!

 

Still, I know there are a lot of majors like that...the kinds of majors that are excruciatingly time intensive and I wonder how kids manage jobs.

 

Faith

[FaithManor]

Did they agree to pay for a full 6 years if she needed it? My dad did stipulate that I could take as long as I wanted to finish college but the money from him would run out after 4 years! :lol:

 

I think I was the only one of my friends to finish in 4 years!

 

Dawn

 

 

I think that it was four years of 16 credits per semester (4 - 4 credit classes or 5 - 3 credit classes or combo thereof). If she chose to go part-time for one semester, so be it but once a certain threshold of credit hours plus books was reached, she needed to have graduated or begin paying herself.

 

Faith

[WeeBeaks]

Haven't read every post - hopefully later when it is quieter in my house. ;)

 

We are an "other" - we hope to pay for most of the 1st year for each child to allow them to get acclimated well to college. Then they will need to provide a lot of the funds. That is a compromise between DH and I. I paid entirely my own way, and DH had his entirely covered by his parents. We are split on our thinking. I feel pretty strongly that kids do a lot better in college (study harder, get out sooner with a useful degree) if they have some skin in the game so to speak.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

I voted "entitled", but I am only thinking of my son and our circumstances. (ETA: and I can't guarantee he won't have to pay for anything or won't be limited in choice of college if he doesn't receive any scholarships or aid).

 

Children are only entitled to what their parents can easily afford and what they are going to use wisely (or at least relatively wisely). I think parents do have a responsibility to help their children become independent, but that can take many different forms.

 

Parents also have a responsibility to make sure they are taken care of (as in retirement savings) and that should come before college expenses.

Edited September 19, 2011 by LeslieAnneLevine

[RanchGirl]

No, actually I worded it that way intentionally and not due to my bias. I used to live around people that really thought that way and would word it exactly like that. They believed that ALL children are entitled to a college education, paid for by the parent, and any parent that didn't provide that was irresponsible. Yes, these same people looked down their noses at my husband who busted his tail in the factories making refridgerators and cheeses that they bought, warehouses that held all the cleaners they used daily, and building the roads that they drove on.

 

I didn't mean to offend, it's your poll, you can word it however you want! But I'm just saying that there are a lot of shades in between the "entitled" scenario you describe and refusing to pay anything. I will help my kids because I want to and have made saving for it a priority, but I completely reject the "entitled" label. As you mentioned, a lot of parents will help to the best of their ability - both financially and doing legwork for scholarships, financial aid, cost cutting, etc. Even within families it will vary. I know parents who have 5 girls and one boy. Guess who is expected to go off to college without loans, and guess who is supposed to "apprentice" with dad and live under his roof, under his authority until marriage -- regardless of interest or ability?

[mommaduck]

I didn't mean to offend, it's your poll, you can word it however you want! But I'm just saying that there are a lot of shades in between the "entitled" scenario you describe and refusing to pay anything. I will help my kids because I want to and have made saving for it a priority, but I completely reject the "entitled" label. As you mentioned, a lot of parents will help to the best of their ability - both financially and doing legwork for scholarships, financial aid, cost cutting, etc. Even within families it will vary. I know parents who have 5 girls and one boy. Guess who is expected to go off to college without loans, and guess who is supposed to "apprentice" with dad and live under his roof, under his authority until marriage -- regardless of interest or ability?

You did not offend me :) You did remind me that I needed to add clarity though.

[Meriwether]

I'd like to help the kids. I really want them to help themselves. We will help them if it suits us to do so. That sounds really cold. If they are failing, skipping, partying, etc. and expect us to foot the bill, it isn't going to happen. If they are studying, working or taking a full course load (I took 18 hours/semester), making good financial decisions with the money they have, I'd happily write a check to help them out. They could live at home if we live in a college town at that point. They had better apply for scholarships, too.

 

I recently had a conversation with my SIL about this. Her oldest just started college. I asked her if she felt obligated to pay for his college. She forcefully stated that she and her husband did feel responsible to pay for their kids college. That's fine. It really caught me by surprise, though, when she criticized other parents for pressuring their freshmen students - or even sophomores - to decide on a major. She thought that was too much stress for the college students and that they were too young to make such important decisions.:001_huh: If I pay for my kids' college, they better be fairly sure they know what they want to do. If they want to follow their muse, they can do it on their own dime.

[twoforjoy]

I'm wondering if people are aware of any studies that have compared how students who pay their own way do compared to students whose parents pay?

 

I'm curious because people have such different opinions on this. I tend to find that my students who pay their own way see themselves more as customers, and tend to have a "the customer is always right" mindset: they think they are entitled to certain grades, to rules being bent, and to having access to me whenever they want it because, after all, they are paying for things. But obviously other people have a very different view.

 

I'd be interested in the research, if any, that has been done on this.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

If our oldest goes to the local university that is in our town (at in-state tuition costs) then we can pay it out of pocket. Her tuition there will be less than we are paying for her braces.

 

We have told her that she could leave home DEBT-FREE and with a bachelor's degree. She is considering going to Canada for college. We have discussed the option with her of taking her first two years of college during her last two years of high school (grad from hs at 16, freshman and sophomore years of college at ages 17 and 18) and leaving home with an Associate's degree. That way she would only have to borrow for two years instead of four.

 

We do not feel obligated to pay for our children's college educations, but if we can.....in a way that does not put us in debt then we will. Of course, we would never touch retirement $ to fund college.

[twoforjoy]

It really caught me by surprise, though, when she criticized other parents for pressuring their freshmen students - or even sophomores - to decide on a major. She thought that was too much stress for the college students and that they were too young to make such important decisions.:001_huh: If I pay for my kids' college, they better be fairly sure they know what they want to do. If they want to follow their muse, they can do it on their own dime.

 

I can see her point. Most of the people I know who took a very long time to finish college--6 or 7 or more years--either declared a major very early on or started college in a very specific program. Then they changed their minds, and a bunch of the classes they'd taken were pretty much worthless, so they were stuck with two years of classes that, while they did count toward graduation credits, didn't fulfill either general ed requirements or the requirements of their new major.

 

I'd probably prefer my kids take general ed courses at least for the first year, even if they felt pretty sure they knew what they wanted to major in, so they'd avoid that situation. It's really not that hard to complete a major and minor in two years, if you get all of your gen ed classes out of the way your first two years.

[mamajudy]

We try to help our kids with college expenses as much as possible. That being said, we do expect them to do their best to earn scholarships.

[Impish]

I'm wondering if people are aware of any studies that have compared how students who pay their own way do compared to students whose parents pay?

 

I'm curious because people have such different opinions on this. I tend to find that my students who pay their own way see themselves more as customers, and tend to have a "the customer is always right" mindset: they think they are entitled to certain grades, to rules being bent, and to having access to me whenever they want it because, after all, they are paying for things. But obviously other people have a very different view.

 

I'd be interested in the research, if any, that has been done on this.

I don't know of any studies, just my experiences. I found that generally, the kids I went to college with who had no responsibilities, financially, for their school/living costs didn't seem to take it as seriously. Those who were working/taking out loans realized, dollar for dollar, what it was costing, and were determined to not waste a moment, and to make every dollar spent count. I say 'kids' b/c I was there as a mature student and single parent.

I can see her point. Most of the people I know who took a very long time to finish college--6 or 7 or more years--either declared a major very early on or started college in a very specific program. Then they changed their minds, and a bunch of the classes they'd taken were pretty much worthless, so they were stuck with two years of classes that, while they did count toward graduation credits, didn't fulfill either general ed requirements or the requirements of their new major.

 

I'd probably prefer my kids take general ed courses at least for the first year, even if they felt pretty sure they knew what they wanted to major in, so they'd avoid that situation. It's really not that hard to complete a major and minor in two years, if you get all of your gen ed classes out of the way your first two years.

I'd encourage my kids to work for a year or two, rather than waste time and money taking courses that wouldn't benefit them in the long run. Far better to wait, have a solid plan, and go for it than to spend a year or two floating, imo.

[Runningmom80]

Yeah, I am not fully buying that one either.

 

When I graduated from college I asked my dad if I could pay him back. His response? "YES you can! You can provide college someday for your own children. That is how you can pay me back."

 

Dawn

 

 

 

That made me cry. I wish my parents would have felt that way.

[Sandra in FL]

I voted "other" because of the way you worded the first choice. I plan to pay for college for my kids if possible, but I don't think they are "entitled" to it.

 

Same here.

 

It's telling that in a previous post (on prosperity), one of the major factors was staying out of debt. Hopefully, dc will go to state univs and stay home/save money after graduating. Luckily, for us, Florida has one of the lowest state university tuitions and one of the best state universities (UF) - now getting into UF is another matter.

[Aelwydd]

I voted "entitled" because I have decided that my child is entitled to any and all financial support for college I can give him.

 

Although I can't predict the future, in most scenarios I expect him to to go to university. Since that is an onus I am placing on him, it would be very unfair to him to also make him carry the brunt of the expense with no help.

 

That said, I also expect him to do his best academically in school, and to continue playing sports, so as to afford him the optimal chance for scholarships.

 

Since all parents don't have the same expectations of their children, it doesn't make sense for me to apply that entitlement across the band. That is why I am clarifying that my vote counts for my son. However, I do admire those societies where university is heavily subsidized, so as to make it either free or very inexpensive for all students. That will never happen in the US, but it is nice to see that model in other places.

[scrapbookbuzz]

Seeing as how I didn't really "get" how much college cost while I was there socializing and not focusing on my studies, my kids will be paying their own way. I want them to really understand what it takes.

[Meriwether]

I can see her point. Most of the people I know who took a very long time to finish college--6 or 7 or more years--either declared a major very early on or started college in a very specific program. Then they changed their minds, and a bunch of the classes they'd taken were pretty much worthless, so they were stuck with two years of classes that, while they did count toward graduation credits, didn't fulfill either general ed requirements or the requirements of their new major.

 

I'd probably prefer my kids take general ed courses at least for the first year, even if they felt pretty sure they knew what they wanted to major in, so they'd avoid that situation. It's really not that hard to complete a major and minor in two years, if you get all of your gen ed classes out of the way your first two years.

 

 

The kids she was referencing were taking Gen Ed classes the first two years. They just didn't want to declare a major yet. SIL seemed to think 5 or more years for an undergraduate degree was just fine. I can't imagine 6-7 years for an undergradute degree. You'd have to have taken 3 years with no gen ed classes and switch as a senior to take 7 years.

[Ria]

I voted other because I didn't like the wording of choice #1. I don't feel my kids are "entitled" to a free ride through college. We certainly are helping as much as possible, but they will all have some type of loans as well. College is expensive....multiply it by six, and you get the idea!

[Reesegirl]

I voted other. We are in the last 2 years of the past 11 in sending our kids to college. We have 3dds. We home schooled through 8th and then sent them to high school. Fortunately they have all been very high achieving students. But we expected them to volunteer and apply for every scholarship applicable to them and to work summers during high school and college. We didn’t expect them to work while in college but dd#1 and dd#3 were able to TA in the science department for extra spending money which was great on their post grad resumes.

 

All three received very good scholarship packages and we were able to refuse the loans and pay the balance in cash. DD’s1 and 2 had to take out minor loans but we are taking care of #1’s at this time and dd#2 paid hers off in the first 6 month of work as a nurse. So far dd#3 is also debt free with very good scholarships and help on our part. If something should make it so that we can’t pay the balance of what is owed per semester we would have her take out loans and then hopefully help her when repayment came due.

 

All 3 of my dds have worked hard in college, received high grades and not had a entitled mentality. Part of their thinking was that since all 3 were going into science fields, they needed high grades for acceptance to nursing school for dd#2 and graduate school for #1 & 3. That really motivated them.

[higginszoo]

The between. They're not entitled to it, but we'd like to help them some toward being able to build a good life for themselves, which means a good career, which almost always means in today's market a degree or trade school certificate.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Other: I'm sure it will be a combination of parental contributions, scholarships, merit and need based financial aid, and income earned by the child.

 

How all of that works out will depend on the school that each child is admitted to/chooses.

[chiguirre]

I keep hearing variations on this; however, by and large it wasn't what I observed when I was in college. Maybe it was because the school I attended attracted primarily Type A overachievers, but I did not observe any general difference in motivation between those who had their educations paid for by their family's generosity and those (like my DH) who financed it themselves.

 

:iagree:

 

My experience was the same. The admission process weeded out anyone who wasn't willing to grade grub. Most of my classmates were way too concerned about looking good for grad school or a Wall Street job to jeopardize their futures by partying too much. I didn't realize how atypical my college experience probably was.

[twoforjoy]

The kids she was referencing were taking Gen Ed classes the first two years. They just didn't want to declare a major yet. SIL seemed to think 5 or more years for an undergraduate degree was just fine. I can't imagine 6-7 years for an undergradute degree. You'd have to have taken 3 years with no gen ed classes and switch as a senior to take 7 years.

 

I tend to think that 5 years for an undergrad degree is fine. I don't really see the problem. I finished my degree in 4 and had credits to spare, but I took summer courses, I wasn't working so I was able to take 15-18 credits each term, and I never switched majors. I don't know, taking an extra year just doesn't seem unreasonable to me, especially given how many students transfer at some point, how many are working 20+ hours per week, and how difficult it can be, at many schools, to get into the classes you need.

 

I have a friend who took 6 years to finish her degree. She started out majoring in hotel and restaurant management and went to a school that had that program. She decided after a year that she really didn't want to do that. She stayed at that school for another year, and then, when she transferred, almost nothing went with her. I think they took 6 credits total from her two years of school when she transferred.

[MamaAkins]

If we had it, I would be overjoyed to be able to pay for our children to go to college and not have to work or graduate with excessive debt (like my husband and I had to do). However, at this point, unless we win the lottery (which we don't play), I doubt that we will be in the position to do that.

[twoforjoy]

Seeing as how I didn't really "get" how much college cost while I was there socializing and not focusing on my studies, my kids will be paying their own way. I want them to really understand what it takes.

 

I didn't get how much college cost, either. My parents never told me. They paid for all of my undergrad degree. And, I did really well and finished in four years with a double major.

 

I can certainly understand having your kids pay their own way if you can't reasonably afford to put them though school; it's very unlikely we'll be able to put our three through school unless we get a big employee discount. But, I wouldn't make my kids pay just to prove a point, because quite honestly I think it would backfire. I find, as a college instructor, that after a certain point, the more hours my students work, the poorer their academic performance and the more shortcuts they want to take.

 

FWIW, I did a quick search to see what research was out there, and it's been found, variously, that working less than 15 hours per week positively impacts academic performance while working more than that impedes performance, or that time spent working has no impact on academic performance. Nothing indicate that students who work more than 15 hours perform better academically. Also, every survey/study agrees that the number of college students who worked (and the number of hours they worked) grew dramatically from the early 1980s to the late 1990s. It's been about stable since then. But there are certainly many more students working while in college than was the case in the past.

[Cindy in C-ville]

We're helping a little, but not much, so I voted "other." We don't have the resources to contribute much, but we think that they have much to gain by working to finance their education.

[Ginevra]

I chose other.

 

I do not think they are entitled to it. I do think, though, that if we can provide it, we will. I am not opposed to them paying their own way if that is the only possibility. I am also not opposed to limiting their schools to in-state or CC-to-transfer, if that is all we can afford.

 

My parents did not pay for college; I am going now on my own dollar(S). However, I think they were also a little too threatening the other way, announcing at any opportunity that they would not pay for college, so it was our problem. It was discouraging and is a part of the reason I didn't seek college until later in life.

[mcconnellboys]

I said 'yes,' because savings is paying for about half of what scholarships will not cover, but our son will be taking loans for the rest and we will expect him to pay on those for some period of time (although if the money is available, we will probably help pay those off at some point, although we're not telling him that)....

[catz]

We are planning on being a big part of helping our kids go to college. Both of us graduated debt free due to both help from parents and by hard work. My parents helped me pay for college, but they also insisted that I cover parts. I worked 60 hours a week during the summers and I worked 10 hours a week during school starting my sophmore year. I knew well what it cost and I knew what I needed to do to stay in college on my parent's dime. My parent's income was too high to qualify for much in the way of aid, but I did get some merit based scholarships.

 

I want my kids to work hard during their college years. But on the other hand, I don't want money to be a bottleneck to them earning a degree. We would not likely qualify for financial aid for our kids either. I don't think they're "entitled". But I would say helping provide our kids with a college education is definitely a high priority for us.

 

All of that being said is all bets are off if one of our kids falls in love with a far off $$$ school for undergrad. I would encourage a smaller name local school for undergrad (we have several very well rated colleges within miles of us here) and to pursue an ivy or the like for a graduate degree in an area of their passion. They'll have to pursue student loans if they really want to do that for undergrad. We will still help of course.

 

If my kids want to pursue art, drama, music, etc. I'm fine with it, if I sense that is a burning passion for them.

Edited September 19, 2011 by kck

[edelweiss]

Yes, we will be paying for our kids to attend college. DH and I paid for college ourselves with no help from our parents, and we want something different for our children. We can afford to pay for their college, and I can't imagine a better way to spend our money. One reason that we only had two children was to be able to give them a nice leg up in life.

 

We will expect them to take college seriously though because we're not going to just pay for them to party. They are only 8 and 11 but we've been talking about our expectations for years. ;)

 

We won't limit their choices of majors, but we will be involved and discuss pros and cons of things for them. For instance, my older DD will likely go to a college with a strong equestrian studies program. It is her passion and she wants to consider various careers in that field. I will absolutely support that, but I'll also encourage a double major or a minor in something more "mainstream".

[Night Elf]

Hot topic for people. My DH and I do not believe we are responsible for higher education. College is a personal choice in our view of adult life. We wouldn't tell the children to be a secretary, restaurant manager, or car salesman either. They have to do what they have to do in order to get the career they've chosen.

 

That said, we have no plans to kick them out in a 'sink or swim' manner. They can live at home as long as they are productive in some way.

Edited September 19, 2011 by Night Elf

[hollyh]

I clicked on other.

Dh & I paid our own way through an expensive private university. Let me re-phrase that... 11 years later, we only owe $4500. LOL. While paying for it ourselves did make us think twice about ditching classes when in school... the amount of sacrifice we have had to make to continue paying off our school loans (more than our monthly rent when we were first married) is/was ridiculous. We don't want that for our kids - we would rather them be able to spend that money building their future- saving for a home, etc.

 

We have started their college fund and in about 2 years we intend to begin aggressively building up their funds. We don't know if we will tell them that we will be/hope to be paying or not, but we do not want them to spend YEARS paying off college!!!

[ChristineW]

Our parents paid for undergrad. I believe that we will be able to afford to pay for our kids and DH makes to much for them to qualify for aid. We'll pay the published amounts for the top state school. They will be expected to try for scholarships (though I think Cal is all need-based) but otherwise we'll be paying full freight and I don't want my kids to start life saddled with that kind of debt.

[Catherine]

But it is something we want them to have, and will provide, if they are motivated and want to do it. I don't see any material supports beyond the basics as entitlements.

[nd293]

I put "entitled" because I believe it is my duty to get my chilren to a position where they can support themselves without forcing them to incur crippling debt to get there. Of course, this also goes hand-in-hand with our specific view of "support themselves" which is about the choices we've made to achieve the lifestyle we have, and I don't think everyone needs to have the same vision as we do.

 

That said, the situation is really more nuanced. Realistically, because we made choices like emigration and home education which we believe are in the best interest of the children, our financial position may well not allow us to fully cover their tertiary education. I don't plan on incurring crippling debt myself to ensure that they don't. We would certainly allow them to live rent-free at home. We would pay for a nearby University, but not one in another city (unless they will cover their own living expenses). Neither dh or I received help from our parents, yet neither of us had any debt after our tertiary education - his mother advised him to get a bursary (his education was paid for by a company, and he was required to work there for the same number of years), and I studied through correspondence while working, with some of my courses paid for by the company.

 

Seeing as how I didn't really "get" how much college cost while I was there socializing and not focusing on my studies, my kids will be paying their own way. I want them to really understand what it takes.

 

I think this is a very relevant point. We have discussed making payment for college contingent on 1) a year of entry-level work in the chosen field and/or 2) a year of volunteering to ensure a more mature student. I also expect that the children will have a clear career plan, rather than simply the goal of getting a degreee.

Edited September 21, 2011 by nd293

[Rhonda in TX]

I voted "other" because of the way you worded the first choice. I plan to pay for college for my kids if possible, but I don't think they are "entitled" to it.

 

Same here. I definitely don't think my kids are entitled to it, but it's something I hope to do.

[laundrycrisis]

We will pay for as much of a bachelor's degree as we can. I don't want them to have to take out large loans, or to have to work more than part-time while in college.

 

However, we are not planning on financing the big university on-campus residency experience. The first year at least can be classes from a local community college that can be transferred. I think it's good for freshmen to not have to deal with the distractions of "campus life" and have a year to get into the swing of full time college level academics. Both DH and I had upsetting and distracting freshman years away at school that would have been better managed with a different living situation.

[Coffeemama]

I voted other.

 

I think it is very important for young adults to contribute to the cost of their education. I will expect them to work, maybe not 30+ hours like I did, but work hard. We also want them to understand that their choice of school will effect how much$$ (if any) loans will be necessary.

 

With that being said, if they choose a lower-priced school or earn enough scholarship money coupled with real work both during the school year and summers, we want to keep the amount of loans needed to a minimum.

[creekland]

I voted other. My kids are going to college (and looking forward to it - enjoying it in my oldest's case), but we're not totally paying for it nor could we if we wanted to at this point. (If we could, we would.)

 

Mine did well on the ACT and are getting terrific scholarships. It ended up being cheaper for my oldest to go to his 4 year away from home private college than it would have been for him to stay home and go to cc. Middle son did even better on the ACT and has a chance to go to a nice out of state public college for free. Tuition is already free if he goes there. If he doesn't get it totally free, he appears to have great chances at other private schools he's considering. Again, it will likely be less expensive than our local state schools - though one of our state schools that isn't local might match them. He knows that he'll likely go to the school that gives him the best merit financial package and he's ok with that (we've already eliminated lower level schools though many of them could be free too). If two or more of his choices are similar, then he'll have his choice. His best financial option won't be close to home though. Besides, for him, starting at cc would be a hindrance, not a help. Med schools frown upon pre-req courses taken at cc and he doesn't need any nicks on his application. He's doing some college level cc courses now, but we're counting them for high school credits.

 

None of this is entitlement. It's preparation for their future.

[CalicoKat]

I chose #2, they'll earn their way through.

 

BUT

 

1. I'm going to help them do it economically.

 

2. I'm going to help them by letting them have the option of staying at home (rent free) as long as they're enrolled in school.

 

3. I will buy them a beater car to drive around & pay it's insurance. And sometimes chip in for gas.

 

4. I will feed them for free as long as they're enrolled in school.

 

5. And IF tuition is problematic because of extenuating circumstances we will jump in and help IF they've demonstrated their interest and hard work in previous semesters.

 

I want my kids to succeed. I will help them to succeed. I will not hand it to them though. They need to demonstrate their determination, interest, and drive for success too.

 

If not, tough love will have it's day.

[Donna]

I voted other. We will help as much as we can and try to be as "fair" as possible with all three kids. I save money for their education and put away money they make, themselves, (thought they do not see the benefits of that now and would rather spend their money) but it won't be enough. I will help them apply for grants, loans, and scholarships, let them live at home if they chose to go close to home, and encourage them to make smart choices in which college they attend.

 

I also feel, even if we could afford to pay for it all, that kids should work to help pay their own way. I think they appreciate it more and work harder if they "see" how much it costs and how hard it is. I know too many kids who did not take their education seriously because their parents were footing the bill.

[myfatherslily]

I would be glad to help them out if I can, but don't feel like I must pay their way entirely. It's a long way off for us, though! (Oh dear, only 10 years... maybe not so long, after all!) Right now I couldn't afford it, but maybe that will change:)

[dangermom]

Other. Of course my kids will have to work and apply for scholarships and whatnot, and contribute as much as they can. But it is no longer realistic to expect them to go to a good college and be able to pay for it all, unless things change a lot in the next 10 years.

 

I went to the same university my parents went to in the 60s. They could work and earn their way through; tuition was free. I went there in the 90s; rent had gone way up relative to wages, and it was about $3000/semester for tuition. I had an excellent grant and I worked, but I still needed help. It looks like tuition there will be about $20,000/year in the near future :svengo:. This is a public university mind you! I would so love for my kids to go there, but I'm going to have to push them towards BYU, which is a good education and a great deal. Still, there's no way they'll be able to pay their own way entirely. I don't even think that's realistic now.

[MBM]

Our two eldest paid for most of their undergrad schooling themselves with scholarships, work study and various jobs, and student loans. Our son also finished grad school, and our daughter is applying this year. Dh and I could have paid, but we wanted them to take on the lion's share of expenses and responsibility. Both were serious students and managed to get good-paying jobs afterward that they still like. We plan to do the same with our youngest.

[Jenny in Atl]

I'd gladly pay, if we had the $. At this rate, we'll be helping her find a way (grants/scholarships/etc).

[Tap]

Our children will earn their way through college, but we will help them as we can. BUT!!!! when I spend money on my oldest, I will save equal amounts for the other two, or I will not spend it on him. I want to make sure, that when it is time for the others to go to school, they will have equal resources available to them, despite whatever my financial situation is at that time.

[Susan in TN]

I appreciate the way my parents handled it. I had about 1/4 of my freshman year paid for through scholarships and my parents paid the rest. The next year, I had about 1/3 scholarships, 1/3 work, 1/3 parents. My Junior and Sr years everything was paid for through scholarships and work (I was married in my Sr. year and we had an appt. off campus). I had 3 small jobs in school - a teacher's assistant, teaching violin lessons, and playing in the local symphony.

 

My high schooler knows we have a small amount set aside for his college education, but knows it won't get him very far. So he's learning about scholarship possibilities and work opportunities, the costs of private colleges vs. state schools, etc.