Tank top to church?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dd is wearing a white cotton tank top and a skirt. I did a double take when I saw the tank and wanted some other opinions. It's not a huge deal either way - I don't think that God will smite her if she wears it and neither of us will be judged by other Christians by what we decide. This is simply a matter of me knowing that I bought this tank for her in the underwear section of Target and wondering if it's ok to allow her to wear it as her outer shirt. It is modest (has an inch or more strap) and covers her from the side just fine. You can sometimes see a tiny bit of her bra strap (why she insists on wearing one at 9 is another story. . . ). Any opinions?

[WTMCassandra]

If it were me, I would really want her to throw another layer on. But I am very conservative.

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

She's 9? I would say it's fine. It seems you're in a congregation that wouldn't judge people from their clothes, so yeah, let her go. She's not a teen yet.

[jbemom]

Here in Florida, you see kids wearing them in our church. :001_smile:

[Firestar Academy]

I would say, not appropriate. (1) bought in the underwear dept, and (2) I think shoulders should be covered in church.

 

RObin

[ChristusG]

IMO, it's fine.

[UnsinkableKristen]

I would say it was fine, but we are in Texas and it's pretty hot here. Tank tops are normal for all ages.

[dangermom]

I wouldn't let my daughter ear it, but neither would I be horrified to see it.

[Unscripted]

My DD has several similar outfits... But for church- she has to throw on a sweater on the way in. I have a similar thing about shoulders being covered in church.

[Impish]

I prefer shoulders covered in church, but its not like I'd fall down in a faint to see it.

[endurancerider]

This is interesting to me. I have wondered why there are different standards of clothing modesty in and out of church? To me, (I am a fairly conservative Christian) the church is just a building. I would say it is either appropriate attire or not, regardless of whether being worn in church or elsewhere.

[QuirkyKapers]

I wouldn't have a problem with it as long as you think it looks nice

[Jean in Newcastle]

This is interesting to me. I have wondered why there are different standards of clothing modesty in and out of church? To me, (I am a fairly conservative Christian) the church is just a building. I would say it is either appropriate attire or not, regardless of whether being worn in church or elsewhere.

 

Not so much a different standard of clothing modesty for me - more a matter of clothing "niceness" - ie. some situations require a slightly nicer mode of dress.

[justamouse]

I wear tank tops all over town, BUT to church, all of our shoulders are covered.

[Ria]

At her age I don't see an issue at all.

 

At my age, with my booKs, I wouldn't do it. :lol:

[shinyhappypeople]

I think it's fine. Hope you let her wear it. I wear tank tops to church, but it's HOT here in the summer. I also wear flip-flops and shorts or jeans. It's a very casual environment. If we went to a more formal church, I'd dress up more.

 

I've never heard about shoulder covering being an issue. Maybe it's a regional or cultural thing?

[Mrs Mungo]

It depends upon how thin it is. Some of the tanks in the underwear department are much thinner than those sold among the regular clothing. This is potentially more of an issue with a white tank than other colors. My dd has lots of shrugs and thin sweaters to wear over tank tops.

[RoughCollie]

It sounds like she is decently dressed for church to me.

 

I wouldn't wear a tank top to church for two reasons: My upper arms are too fat and are obviously not toned, and I am an adult, so I tend to dress more conservatively. Your DD does not have these problems. I say let her wear it, as long as it doesn't look like underwear. She's a sweet little girl, and I bet she looks cute as a button!

Edited September 4, 2011 by RoughCollie

[DawnM]

I would depend.

 

Honestly, I have been shocked at some of the things girls wear to church, but not at the 9 year old level really, more at the teen level.....very tight/short skirts or shorts and very tight tank tops or low cut tight tees.

 

Dawn

[Jean in Newcastle]

Dh (the pastor as well as her dad;)) has ruled. We are finally getting some summer and it is hot for us. He said that she can wear it.

[LibraryLover]

On a nine year old it wouldn't matter at all to me. Well, it wouldn't matter at all to me, ever. But I think for her sake, when she gets older, she might want to cover more as many people do talk.

 

We aren't religious, but when we've attended the services of friends, I always have my children dress in a way which does not draw negative attention (or any attention at all).

Edited September 4, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Julie in CA]

My dd13 went off to church today wearing a white tank top under a lower-cut dress that has spaghetti straps. She also was wearing worn-out rubber flip-flops. :001_rolleyes: I explained to her (again!) that I think of that as beach-wear, and not really so appropriate for Sunday worship. She's not showing too much, but imo, we dress with special care on the Lord's Day, in order to set it apart as a special day of focus on worship. In the same way that we might dress more carefully before going to a special party we've been invited to, we do so for Sundays.

 

Dd doesn't necessarily disagree, but I think she's low on clothes, and is having a hard time finding the right thing to wear. Honestly, I'm really not feeling well, and so we decided it's ok for today, but that she should really find something else for the future.

[LidiyaDawn]

I think shoulders should be covered in church.

 

 

I have a similar thing about shoulders being covered in church.

 

I prefer shoulders covered in church

 

Okay.. what's the big deal about shoulders?

 

This isn't in-your-face cleavage flashing. :p

Edited September 4, 2011 by LidiyaDawn
fix quote

[JulieH]

I think it's perfectly fine.

[mamakimberly]

In Florida, we have full-grown women in tube tops and such... a tank top would be the LEAST of my concerns for a 9 year old!

 

And by "full-grown" I *do* mean FULL grown ;).

[chepyl]

Is wear spaghetti strap sundresses to church in the summer. I have worn a nice tank and jeans, too. I usually dress nicer than everyday, but I don't worry about my shoulders. I am concerned more with appropriate length, and not being to low-cut.

[Sputterduck]

It all depends on your church and the area you live in. If it will bother people, it's not okay. If it's scandalous, it's not okay. But God doesn't mind the areas of the world where women walk around with no top at all.

[Impish]

Okay.. what's the big deal about shoulders?

 

This isn't in-your-face cleavage flashing. :p

I just prefer a bit more formal than casual for myself and the kids in church. *shrug*

 

Probably partially influenced by any church I've ever attended having the a/c cranked to the 'frost bite' setting too. :tongue_smilie:

[mommaduck]

I would say, not appropriate. (1) bought in the underwear dept, and (2) I think shoulders should be covered in church.

 

RObin

 

You will get different opinions depending upon the people, the church, the culture, the area, etc. However, I'm in agreement with the above quote.

[LibraryLover]

At a recent event I attended, I saw that some of the women and girls had on sun dresses, but wore light shawls/scarves around their shoulders, which they took off when they left the sactuary. Shoulders seemed perfectly ok at coffee hour. ;)

[forty-two]

Okay.. what's the big deal about shoulders?

 

This isn't in-your-face cleavage flashing. :p

I was wondering the same. All I wear are sleeveless tops and nicer tanks at church, and I never thought anyone cared about more than spaghetti straps (which, yes, I also wear ;)). I lived all my life in the south until two years ago, and this thread indicates that may make a difference in my perception - but the only comments I get here are an "aren't you cold?" when I wear them in the winter :tongue_smilie:. (The answer, btw, is "Nope, I'm fine - with the sanctuary heated to practically 80F, I'm wondering how the rest of you can possibly stand wearing those sweaters" ;).)

[butterflymommy]

I generally only allow "no sleeves" (i.e. tanks) if it's very hot and the shirt/ dress is loose. Fitted tank tops look like underwear to me. I wear them around the house when the weather is warm, but not out in public. Spaghetti straps are strictly forbidden outside the house! So far I haven't had any rebels.:001_smile:

[redsquirrel]

I have worn sleeveless to our church many times. I wear them quite often in the warm weather. I love that Lands End has them in petite sizes. They are a nice thick cotton and never show a hint of bra strap.

 

A 9 year old? I wouldn't think twice about it.

[gardenmom5]

I would say, not appropriate. (1) bought in the underwear dept, and (2) I think shoulders should be covered in church.

 

 

:iagree:

[mommaduck]

The deal with shoulders is that many of us were raised where it was considered culturally disrespectful to enter a church with bare shoulders...it's treated as though you are half dressed or are in beachwear. Granted, there are many churches nowadays where even the minister wears beach appropriate clothing in the pulpit. Some will agree with it and others don't.

 

I like to stick to the "if I can't wear it to the monastery, then I won't wear it for worship either". Basically, I wear a decent lengthed skirt, cover my shoulders, and cover my head.

[Crimson Wife]

I do wear sleeveless tops & dresses to church but not tank tops. I have a blouse similar to the second one here that I often wear to church when it's hot.

 

A wide-strapped tank with a modest neckline would be okay IMHO for casual wear but it isn't dressy enough for church.

[Audrey]

I would say it was fine, but we are in Texas and it's pretty hot here. Tank tops are normal for all ages.

 

 

My first question would have been "how hot is it?"

[cdrumm4448]

I am hugely conservative and I'd let her wear it.

[Just Beachy]

As a previous poster mentioned, it would depend. I have gotten my dd9 some cami/tank shirts that are pretty thin, and I would not allow her to wear those anywhere without something over them.

 

We are in Florida and it is warm/hot here year round. I do not go sleeveless ever. However, I do not think anything if I see someone else sleeveless. My oldest also will not go sleeveless, but my youngest will occassionally.

[Nakia]

It depends upon how thin it is. Some of the tanks in the underwear department are much thinner than those sold among the regular clothing. This is potentially more of an issue with a white tank than other colors. My dd has lots of shrugs and thin sweaters to wear over tank tops.

 

This.

[leeannpal]

IMO, it's fine.

:iagree:

[MrsMe]

If you don't want issues later, I'd probably say no now. I'm more conservative too and don't think it's quite proper for church, but I'd start training now as it will be a problem later. And you bought it in the undie dept? Mmmm...probably no. Perhaps she has a little short sleeve or sleevless sweater to go over it?

[Abigail4476]

At 9? I would say that it's fine. Our girls wore sundresses without sleeves until 10 or 11 or so. Our church is pretty conservative about dress, but I think children can get away with a bit more skin. :)

 

Also, if your church has a more casual atmosphere, it's going to go over better. Some churches dress to the 9's on Sunday AM; others show up in jeans and tees. It just depends on what's appropriate in your little church subculture.

 

If she got a stamp of approval from her Dad and her pastor, I'd say there's nothing to worry about! ;)

[Parker Martin]

I prefer shoulders covered in church, but its not like I'd fall down in a faint to see it.

 

:iagree:

 

I probably wouldn't let my daughter, if I had one, wear a tank top to our church, but I do see lots of tank tops there. No big deal.

[Ellie]

I would probably want her to wear something else.

 

We should be teaching our children that there are some things that are appropriate in one venue while not appropriate in another. And if we allow them to wear inappropriate clothing when they are 9, they'll want to wear inappropriate clothing when they are 16.

[Impish]

If she got a stamp of approval from her Dad and her pastor, I'd say there's nothing to worry about! ;)

:iagree:

[Live2Ride]

we personally don't do sleeveless shirts when out and about...I'd have had her put another layer on. We use cami's and tanks as cute undershirts (though I've been known to put one on when I'm out training my horses in the heat).

[Abigail4476]

This is interesting to me. I have wondered why there are different standards of clothing modesty in and out of church? To me, (I am a fairly conservative Christian) the church is just a building. I would say it is either appropriate attire or not, regardless of whether being worn in church or elsewhere.

 

I think different rules are about what's appropriate for one activity or another; not necessarily related to rules of modesty. Most people wouldn't wear a swimsuit (or rashguard and board shorts) to church, but it's fine for the beach. We still do the traditional "Sunday Best" around here--not because I think it's a big deal, really, if you go casual. I think that when our kids put on nice clothes, it seems special and I want them to take church seriously. Nicer clothes also seem conducive to less rowdy behavior. Sometimes. My ds8 was a terror at lunch today in his nice khakis and dress shirt. :001_huh:

[SeekingHim77]

I wouldn't let my daughter wear a tank designed to be an undershirt without an overshirt of some type. She has 2 of these and only wears them under spaghetti strap dresses. She does wear sleeveless dresses to church so that's not the aspect I have a problem with-it's the fact that these tank tops are very casual and usually see through. If I don't want my daughter wearing it when she's more developed, then I don't allow her to wear it now. I think it makes more sense to keep a clothing standard from the start rather than try to change it later on when she's already in the habit of wearing a certain type of clothing.

[TravelingChris]

I don't have an issue with covered shoulders- sundresses are fine, IMO. But I think going to church should be more dressed up that totally casual. I have the rule that it should be clothing one would were to a restaurant with tablecloths and waiter/waitresses. My youngest was just asking me today why do so many girls wear jeans and t-shirts to church. I said, I don't know and she answered that she wants to continue dressing nicer for church than for hanging around.