S/O (of multiple S/Os!): Appearance- when someone is always "put together"

[Heather in Neverland]

Really? I think you two seem sort of similar, aside from religion and politics. Not meaning to insult either of you, you just seem like strong, professional women with a distinct POV. :)

 

That's interesting. I see you kinda the same way... Strong, intelligent, distinct POV, but kind of midway between Audrey and myself in religion and politics. It's fun to see where our "venn diagram" circles overlap. :D

[Britomart]

I have pink hair though so I'm sure some people are making judgments about me.

 

Yep, I'd judge you. And that judgment would be, "Dude. Cool hair!" :D

[LibraryLover]

I know lots of women who look put together. It's who they are (and it would be pretty cool to be a put-together one. lol) Some of the most giving & generous women I know are quite spiffy!

[Mrs Mungo]

The animosity of these threads is sort of baffling to me. I have friends who wear no makeup or anything and I have friends with fake booKs. I am somewhere in the middle. I just am not getting what the big deal is.

 

We all judge people for different things. I have said it before: if you tell me Thomas Kinkade is your favorite artist, then I will judge you. I will judge you if you tell me Jennifer Weiner is your favorite author. I will judge you if you tell me that Journey is your favorite band of all time. I will judge you if you tell me that Coors Lite is your favorite beer. But, *saying* things *out loud* like "I don't like Thomas Kinkade because I am cultured," or "I think Journey only appeals to the listener without a soul," or "people with refined taste would obviously prefer Fat Tire or a Hefeweizen," those things get you in trouble because they are not necessarily true. I am making my preference a statement of fact. If you say, "Coors Lite is not my beer of choice, I prefer something with a bit more meat like Hefeweizen," then nobody can really debate that, it is just your stated preference. You have made your preference known without offending everybody who likes domestic watery girly beer. ;)

[Audrey]

The animosity of these threads is sort of baffling to me. I have friends who wear no makeup or anything and I have friends with fake booKs. I am somewhere in the middle. I just am not getting what the big deal is.

 

We all judge people for different things. I have said it before: if you tell me Thomas Kinkade is your favorite artist, then I will judge you. I will judge you if you tell me Jennifer Weiner is your favorite author. I will judge you if you tell me that Journey is your favorite band of all time. I will judge you if you tell me that Coors Lite is your favorite beer. But, *saying* things *out loud* like "I don't like Thomas Kinkade because I am cultured," or "I think Journey only appeals to the listener without a soul," or "people with refined taste would obviously prefer Fat Tire or a Hefeweizen," those things get you in trouble because they are not necessarily true. I am making my preference a statement of fact. If you say, "Coors Lite is not my beer of choice, I prefer something with a bit more meat like Hefeweizen," then nobody can really debate that, it is just your stated preference. You have made your preference known without offending everybody who likes domestic watery girly beer. ;)

 

 

You know... I was with you up until the bolded. Coors Lite is beer?? Since when?

 

;)

[Mrs Mungo]

You know... I was with you up until the bolded. Coors Lite is beer?? Since when?

 

;)

 

I am only using the term loosely. :lol:

[Audrey]

I think that's twice in one week that we have agreed on something. It is starting to scare me. :D

 

Don't be scared. I'm not that wicked a Witch. ;)

 

Really? I think you two seem sort of similar, aside from religion and politics. Not meaning to insult either of you, you just seem like strong, professional women with a distinct POV. :)

 

 

And we're both transplanted Southern girly girls. :D

[Audrey]

Confession time: I really like Journey. Whenever one of their songs comes on the radio, I crank it up really loud and sing along at the top of my lungs. Great rock, they aren't, but dang! Are they ever fun for a sing-along!

[Mrs Mungo]

Confession time: I really like Journey. Whenever one of their songs comes on the radio, I crank it up really loud and sing along at the top of my lungs. Great rock, they aren't, but dang! Are they ever fun for a sing-along!

 

I agree that they are fun. They just aren't "favorite band, ever," material to me.

 

Don't stop belieeeeevin'!!

[Heather in Neverland]

You know... I was with you up until the bolded. Coors Lite is beer?? Since when?

 

;)

 

And I was with you until you dogged Journey. At that point the makeup melted off my overly made-up face and my perfectly- coiffed hair fell out. :tongue_smilie:

[Heather in Neverland]

Don't be scared. I'm not that wicked a witch :D

 

oh heck no. If I was a witch I'd be a wicked one for sure. That goody-goody Glenda the north witch always got on my nerves. :D

[Heather in Neverland]

 

And we're both transplanted Southern girly girls. :D

 

ROLL TIDE!!!

[TammyinTN]

I haven't read all the replies, but I try to always look nice when I go out. I feel that I'm representing our country. I've lived in Germany now for almost 7 years and rarely do I see people looking sloppy here.

 

If I'm going out shopping/groceries. I do dress neatly, wear makeup and fix my hair. I also do the same thing to stay home because I enjoy looking neat and put together for my family.

[annandatje]

But, I have seen this many times. I have shown up to soccer and hockey practices and games like that many times because I was just coming back from work, as were the other moms who showed up dressed like that. If the other women were :confused: over it, I've never noticed. But, then... I'm there to support my kid, so if someone else had a wild hair up their behind over the way I dressed, I wouldn't really care. I didn't go for THEIR sake.

 

Another mom who has driven straight to soccer game in business attire from work.

[Rosie_0801]

Huh. If I see a woman who is made up perfectly all the time, I feel envious of the amount of sleep she's getting, coz it is obviously more than I'm getting. Not that 12 hours per night would have me shimmying around in make up, because I'm not that kind of girl. Nor would I be shimmying around in nice clothes, because ds would wipe something disgusting on me in five seconds.

 

But I don't begrudge anyone sleep, except sometimes dh if he sleeps for 14 hours, while I get even less sleep than usual thanks to nocturnal whingings from small kids, and he wakes up grumbling about being tired.

 

 

:tongue_smilie:

Rosie

[Caroline]

I wish I could look put together all of the time. I am not good at buying clothes, so I have been getting more help lately--from sales women, my sisters (who apparently got all of the fashion genes), friends who look put together, What Not To Wear, etc. I am getting better and have several mix and match pieces now. I got a makeup/skin care lesson at Origins. I have always had my hair done by a fantastic stylist, but now I am going more often.

 

Why? I teach high school. I teach at an urban, majority minority, 85%+ free lunch, gang-infested, bad neighborhood school. Part of my job (although not officially) is to help my students learn to dress. And, if I look fashionable and not frumpy, they are more likely to want to imitate me. So by the end of the school year, there are fewer short shorts, bra straps hanging out, etc. (Don't get me started on the saggies!)

 

I do sometimes show up at soccer practices in skirts, jackets, heels, boots, scarves, etc. My DH is a stay at home dad and soccer coach. So if I have a late meeting, I have to meet them at the field to pick up the non-practicing kids. Some days, I do the kid swap. Today, I need to finish up some things at school and attend a soccer tournament. While I won't be in heels, I will have on makeup, I will have my hair done, I will wear matching clothes.

 

I guess if there are other soccer moms who don't want to be my friend because of how I look, oh well. I think my work is important. (Remember the world peace comment from the other thread? Well I think I am helping lower gang violence, date rape, etc. where I work. So maybe I am working towards some peace for some kids by spending those extra few minutes and dollars on my appearance.)

 

Sorry for the dissertation...

[Onceuponatime]

Huh. If I see a woman who is made up perfectly all the time, I feel envious of the amount of sleep she's getting, coz it is obviously more than I'm getting. Not that 12 hours per night would have me shimmying around in make up, because I'm not that kind of girl. Nor would I be shimmying around in nice clothes, because ds would wipe something disgusting on me in five seconds.

 

But I don't begrudge anyone sleep, except sometimes dh if he sleeps for 14 hours, while I get even less sleep than usual thanks to nocturnal whingings from small kids, and he wakes up grumbling about being tired.

 

 

:tongue_smilie:

Rosie

 

I feel your pain.

 

You do know that some day the sleep will come, when you least expect it. Then you will wake up in a panic, wondering what happened. :D

 

I thank God daily that that phase of my life is over. I wouldn't say that if I knew you would begrudge me my sleep. However, I don't know if anyone can tell how many hours I get by the way I dress. :lol:

[Lady Florida.]

 

There's a woman in my town that owns a custom jewelry store. She's in her 60s, from Spain and she GLOWS. I mean, she just flipping GLOWS. It's from the inside, there's not a trace of guile in her, but she's also beautifully made up and hair just so, dressed so very elegantly and she BEAMS at you. She is all things beautiful. That's what I want to be like.

 

I know an older woman from France who is exactly like the woman you describe. Those European women know something we Americans don't (or refuse to acknowledge). :001_smile:

[AuntPol]

To the OP -I don't think anything about it. I am Southern so I am used to seeing people this way. I live in a city that has a lot of yankees so probably 50/50/ I'm probably the only true Southerner who doesn't dress up LOL. I really do not care if someone takes care to look nice or not. However, I do find that most that do, don't reallly want to hang out with me.

 

 

REALLY? Wow, because almost every mom I know -- from church and my neighborhood -- looks attractive in a natural way, and I can easily imagine that they don't have to spend *too* much time getting that way.

 

Hair cut in an attractive, easy-to-care-for style? (Every six weeks)

Hair colored if necessary? (A once-a-month job)

Nails manicured, or at least filed nicely? (Once every week or so)

A reasonably toned, fit body? (Varies, but shouldn't take up too much time each day)

Clothes that color-coordinate and add to your general attractiveness? (Varies, but it shouldn't be that hard)

A bit of makeup slapped on in the morning? (Five minutes)

 

We're not talking about breaking budgets or spending hours in the bathroom here. At least I'm not. If you and OP are talking about women who look like they're going to the prom every time they step out of the house, that's another story.

 

 

I get my hair cut every 8 weeks. I keep going to different hair dressers because I can't find one I like nor a hairstyle that I think is flattering. I also fix my hair before I go out and well it will fall flat and look horrid within the hour, despite hair spray. Guaranteed.

 

I usually keep my hair color up to date.

 

I have had professional manicures and my dd has done my nails. Within an hour of having them done, they are chipped. I clean them several times a day but man on man do they ever get gunked up easily.

 

I work out regularly but the toned body isn't there (yet!). However, here in the South the body is what separates normal SOuthernness from Trophy Wives lol.

 

Clothes color coordinate and I try to wear flattering colors. However, I'm a severe apple shape and it's HARD to find clothes that are flattering to my figure and my coloring at the Goodwill. I have some for church but wearing dress slacks and a fancy top and heels to go grocery shopping is not going to happen. Then of course, what is most flattering plays up my ample chest and that is immodest and will make you hated in homeschool/church circles.

 

Furthermore, I have trouble not spilling stuff on myself. Honestly, if there is something that can be spilt within a 10 foot radius, it will spill on me. It's a genetic thing. My entire family is like this.

 

I try to wear foundation and mascara/brow pencil and lipstick but honestly, I still look pale and washed out even with it on and if I put on other stuff, I look clownish. My biggest issue is I can never find my make-up LOL. I can't afford a set for the bathroom and the purse. If I put it on at home, it (especially lipstick) is off by the time I arrive at my destination. I hate carrying purses (because I lose them constantly) so I carry my lipstick in the pocket and then it melts/gets lost/etc.

 

I also don't do my hair or make-up before going to the gym. OUr gym doesn't have a shower. We can not afford gas or time for me to drive across town to gym and then come home, to shower and change and make myself up to go back across town to buy groceries/go to library, etc. Heck, it takes at least an hour before my face is no longer beet red after a workout.

 

I also own tons of bubble baths but I rarely use it. First of all, I don't have time until evenings and then I'd rather spend that time with my family. So if everyone is out and busy, I will run one. After I get in the water, I am so completely bored that I get right out. I don't know how people can do it! I also can only do the scented stuff in the winter. If I wear it in spring/summer/early fall, I seem to attract insects.

 

My husband hates the smelly stuff and perfume. It makes him dizzy. That is another reason I quit using it.

 

Honestly, it's not from lack of trying that I never look put together. I just don't have that knack.

[DawnM]

I think I didn't really communicate the type of person I meant, which I realized later but was busy most of the day and couldn't get back to change it.

 

I don't care if someone wears make up and looks nice, but there is an attitude among my general area where all women seem to do is talk about name brands and going to the gym for the morning or cars or whatever.

 

There is an air of materialism and an importance on appearance in more than just being put together.

 

It isn't quite as bad as "The women of....." series' but it seems to run behind fairly closely in some ways.

 

I just simply have NOTHING in common with these folks.

 

Dawn

[asta]

Wow. I had no idea that the fact that I put on some makeup, do something with my hair and dress fashionably when i go places meant I was vain, didn't care about spending time with my kids, I will walk on people to get ahead, I can't be trusted, I'm shallow, people don't want to be friends with me, etc.

 

Thanks for enlightening me. :glare:

 

I'll be your friend, Heather.

 

Right now you'll have to overlook the sheet wrinkles on half of my face and the "life if good" fuzzy hoody tossed over the dressy top and pants, though...

 

 

 

(Judgement is a funny thing, no? How one judges others' intent to express their desire not to be judged? Or judges total strangers, which, ultimately, we all are on the internet. A sociologist would have a field day with these threads. Especially one who had first hand knowledge of real caste systems...)

 

 

a

[Jugglin'5]

The animosity of these threads is sort of baffling to me. I have friends who wear no makeup or anything and I have friends with fake booKs. I am somewhere in the middle. I just am not getting what the big deal is.

 

We all judge people for different things. I have said it before: if you tell me Thomas Kinkade is your favorite artist, then I will judge you. I will judge you if you tell me Jennifer Weiner is your favorite author. I will judge you if you tell me that Journey is your favorite band of all time. I will judge you if you tell me that Coors Lite is your favorite beer. But, *saying* things *out loud* like "I don't like Thomas Kinkade because I am cultured," or "I think Journey only appeals to the listener without a soul," or "people with refined taste would obviously prefer Fat Tire or a Hefeweizen," those things get you in trouble because they are not necessarily true. I am making my preference a statement of fact. If you say, "Coors Lite is not my beer of choice, I prefer something with a bit more meat like Hefeweizen," then nobody can really debate that, it is just your stated preference. You have made your preference known without offending everybody who likes domestic watery girly beer. ;)

 

Okay, I agree with everything in this post. Truly spooky. :D

[Mynyel]

no matter where they go:

 

You know, the women who wouldn't step towards the front door without their hair and make up done just so. And those who wouldn't go to the grocery store without their new Kate Spade (or whatever) bag and high heals......

 

We seem to have a lot of the above here in the South.

 

My first impression is that they are stuffy and unapproachable and I wouldn't want them as a close friend because they would care more about appearances than being down to earth.

 

I realize this is my flaw, but I am wondering if any of the rest of you have the same flaw.

 

Dawn

 

I think we live in the same area! :) Well except my local Wal*Mart :D Anyway, I see a lot of people who are dressed to the nines and just wonder...

 

1) Why? Who are you trying to impress? Then admonish myself as that isn't very charitable thinking.

2) How long does that take?!

3) How much does it cost to look like that?

4) Are those heels really comfortable?

5) And finally, seriously, is it really practical to be carrying a two0year old in 4 inch heels? I have seen it, more than once!

 

I don't begrudge it, I don't want to have feel I need to look that way when I walk out of the house. So I don't :D. However I do wish I could get up the gumption to even put on some make-up. *sigh* I just don't want to take the time.

[KungFuPanda]

I know a homeschooling, extended-breastfeeding, mother of five who always looks put together. Her kids are great. She wears cute skirts and pumps to co-op all day and knows where to go to get a bargain on designer everything. I am fascinated that she can juggle it all. She's an awesome, fun lady and anyone who wouldn't approach her because she looks put together is missing out.

[Lady Florida.]

I know a homeschooling, extended-breastfeeding, mother of five who always looks put together. Her kids are great. She wears cute skirts and pumps to co-op all day and knows where to go to get a bargain on designer everything. I am fascinated that she can juggle it all. She's an awesome, fun lady and anyone who wouldn't approach her because she looks put together is missing out.

 

I know 3 moms of many (one has 4, one 5, and one 6 kids) who are like that. They don't wear designer clothes, but they find clothes that look good on them and are bargain priced. The one with 6 just left, after stopping by to pick up something her son left here. She had her 4 month old baby and 6 year old daughter with her. They don't have a lot of money, live with her FIL, and buy most clothes second hand. Yet she always looks like she took a few minutes for herself to look put together. All three of these moms are down to earth and I can't imagine them putting people off because of how they look.

[momma aimee]

no matter where they go:

 

You know, the women who wouldn't step towards the front door without their hair and make up done just so. And those who wouldn't go to the grocery store without their new Kate Spade (or whatever) bag and high heals......

 

We seem to have a lot of the above here in the South.

 

My first impression is that they are stuffy and unapproachable and I wouldn't want them as a close friend because they would care more about appearances than being down to earth.

 

I realize this is my flaw, but I am wondering if any of the rest of you have the same flaw.

 

Dawn

 

ah the South, i miss it, it is a differnt world :001_smile:

[KungFuPanda]

 

I usually keep my hair color up to date.

 

 

I don't even know what that means???? What color of hair is outdated????

[Mommyfaithe]

Really? I think you two seem sort of similar, aside from religion and politics. Not meaning to insult either of you, you just seem like strong, professional women with a distinct POV. :)

 

:iagree::iagree:

And I usually agree with those 2 as well:D:D

 

They are 2 schmart ladies!

 

Faithe...who feels agreeable, yet under- dressed this am and is fretting about her roots and chipped up manicure....sigh!!

[SailorMom]

:D

 

Personally, when I see women *too* put together, esp in the hair/makeup department, I assume that is where their priorities lie. I'm lucky to get time to take a shower (a swim in the pool counts, right?), or fold my clothes before they get wrinked (too badly), or get a brush through my hair more than once a day, because I'd rather be spending time enjoying life with my family that sitting in front of a mirror.

:lol:

 

BTW - to the poster I quoted - my post is not directed at you, particularly, but it is an example of why I am responding the way I am....

 

 

Ok - so I'm not in the "kate spade handbag" league of "put-togetherness"... in fact - most of my clothes come from stores with grocery carts.

But - I have seen a recurring theme on these boards that women who are thin, work out, put on makeup and well fitting clothes and try to look nice for their husbands have their priorities wrong....

huh???

OK - it takes me about 30 minutes to shower, fix my hair, put on make-up, and be ready to get out the door. 30 minutes. How much time do ya'll spend on these boards??? Probably more than that. I have cute, clean, casual clothes ready to wear, and work out three or four days a week (for health as well as looks). I eat well because I feel better when I do. And yes - I like to look good for my DH.

But - I spend almost all my time either homeschooling, being the committee chair for our Boy Scout troop, running my sons to sports stuff, taking care of my house,,, etc.

So - because I do this with makeup on and I take care of myself my priorities are wrong? Because I want my DH to be mentally, emotionally AND physically attracted to me - I am shallow?

I don't have a problem with people who do or do not bother with makeup, or whatever. I have wonderful friends at both ends of the spectrum there. I do have a problem with people who try to justify their behavior or make themselves feel superior by judging others.

[Mommyfaithe]

I wish I knew how to be that put together woman! I have spent my entire adult life lamenting the fact that I have no idea how to wear make up or fix my hair so it is flattering. My dh says I am really beautiful...but he is biased. :D

 

I don't think it is shallow to take care of yourself, and I work hard to help my kids care about their appearance...but not in a over bearing way. Just in a natural, self assuredness way.

 

I am surprised that other women would look at well put together women with disdain. I am :confused::confused::confused:

 

Faithe

[Tarreymere]

I had a friend like that, and yes she was from the South and really out of place in Maine. We just clicked when we met, and ended up at LL Bean at 3 am later that night just to prove to both of us that it really WAS open 24/7. She was a lot of fun to hang around with. She did try to corrupt me with her evil Southern ways, but I escaped that part unscathed. I was just out of the Army and working on a contract at Bath Iron Works and her husband was in the Navy. We lost touch over the years, but I still miss her.

[Cricket]

We are talking about people who just naturally seem to know how to look perfect for every situation?

 

I find it a little intimidating, but that's my problem :)

 

I tend to think, "Why I can't be a little more like that?" :)

[KrissiK]

When I think of being "put together" I don't think of being perfectly coiffed and over-made up, or even designer clothes. I think part of the "put together" look is how a woman carries herself. I still remember a woman I met at a friends' house (this made a huge impression on me, obviously), she was picking up her daughter, it was a Saturday and she was wearing a faded denim skirt (knee length) and a t-shirt and sandals. Her hair was just "normal" (straight bob) and she had makeup on, but not too much, and I remember thinking to myself, "She looks fantastic", but I couldn't figure out why. And then I observed her and it was who she was that made her look so great. She had a smile on her face that was genuine, she stood straight (I always slouch) and walked confidently, but not in a bad way. I think the way a person looks is greatly affected by how they walk, the expression on their face, etc. And not necessarily their clothes, although it's important that clothes fit right and are clean.

[LauraGB]

I don't care if someone wears make up and looks nice, but there is an attitude among my general area where all women seem to do is talk about name brands and going to the gym for the morning or cars or whatever.

 

There is an air of materialism and an importance on appearance in more than just being put together.

 

 

 

Oh! Now I understand what you are asking. Yeah, I don't even notice those people anymore. I think I did when I was younger, but now I just don't pay attention. But, I don't think it's because of how they look - it's more about what passes through their lips, really.

[Hoggirl]

I try to always look "put together" when I leave the house. I do not go out in public without my face on and my hair fixed. For me it is a matter of feeling good about myself and presenting myself in a way so that my husband would be proud of me. Yes, he would love me if I went out in sweats or gym shorts with no make-up on. But, I don't like how I feel if I don't get myself together. I try also to get myself together before he comes home in the evenings. The man works hard, and he doesn't need to come home and look at some mom blob.

 

There are times if I am not going out at all during the day (kind of rare for me), that I will not put my face on. I do like being stuck at home and doing the mom blob thing on the rare occasions when we get a big snow, and I can't go out anyway.

[Scarlett]

If you say, "Coors Lite is not my beer of choice, I prefer something with a bit more meat like Hefeweizen," then nobody can really debate that, it is just your stated preference. You have made your preference known without offending everybody who likes domestic watery girly beer. ;)

 

You crack me up. :D

[justamouse]

The animosity of these threads is sort of baffling to me. I have friends who wear no makeup or anything and I have friends with fake booKs. I am somewhere in the middle. I just am not getting what the big deal is.

 

We all judge people for different things. I have said it before: if you tell me Thomas Kinkade is your favorite artist, then I will judge you. I will judge you if you tell me Jennifer Weiner is your favorite author. I will judge you if you tell me that Journey is your favorite band of all time. I will judge you if you tell me that Coors Lite is your favorite beer. But, *saying* things *out loud* like "I don't like Thomas Kinkade because I am cultured," or "I think Journey only appeals to the listener without a soul," or "people with refined taste would obviously prefer Fat Tire or a Hefeweizen," those things get you in trouble because they are not necessarily true. I am making my preference a statement of fact. If you say, "Coors Lite is not my beer of choice, I prefer something with a bit more meat like Hefeweizen," then nobody can really debate that, it is just your stated preference. You have made your preference known without offending everybody who likes domestic watery girly beer. ;)

 

Man, you just made me laugh outloud. Thank you, I needed that today.

[LibraryLover]

I know some women who look great *all the time*, but are not overdone. They are not the type to go to the market in 5 inch heels, but always seem to have cute earrings that match the outfit perfectly. They know how to make their hair look finished & understand that a light lipstick even in the afternoon can be flattering wihtout being 'too much' . I am not like this, but I do enjoy them. I don't know how to coordinate at all. These are also the people who seem to be good to have at your party. They tend to be outgoing and can fill in lulls. I don't hold their fashion sense against their basic goodheartedness. lol Now, the mean girls? I don't like to roll with them.

Edited August 13, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Scarlett]

When I think of being "put together" I don't think of being perfectly coiffed and over-made up, or even designer clothes. I think part of the "put together" look is how a woman carries herself. I still remember a woman I met at a friends' house (this made a huge impression on me, obviously), she was picking up her daughter, it was a Saturday and she was wearing a faded denim skirt (knee length) and a t-shirt and sandals. Her hair was just "normal" (straight bob) and she had makeup on, but not too much, and I remember thinking to myself, "She looks fantastic", but I couldn't figure out why. And then I observed her and it was who she was that made her look so great. She had a smile on her face that was genuine, she stood straight (I always slouch) and walked confidently, but not in a bad way. I think the way a person looks is greatly affected by how they walk, the expression on their face, etc. And not necessarily their clothes, although it's important that clothes fit right and are clean.

 

:iagree: That is why some women become MORE beautiful as they age.

[foxbridgeacademy]

REALLY? Wow, because almost every mom I know -- from church and my neighborhood -- looks attractive in a natural way, and I can easily imagine that they don't have to spend *too* much time getting that way.

 

Hair cut in an attractive, easy-to-care-for style? (Every six weeks)

Hair colored if necessary? (A once-a-month job)

Nails manicured, or at least filed nicely? (Once every week or so)

A reasonably toned, fit body? (Varies, but shouldn't take up too much time each day)

Clothes that color-coordinate and add to your general attractiveness? (Varies, but it shouldn't be that hard)

A bit of makeup slapped on in the morning? (Five minutes)

 

We're not talking about breaking budgets or spending hours in the bathroom here. At least I'm not. If you and OP are talking about women who look like they're going to the prom every time they step out of the house, that's another story.

 

I would really love to be able to do all the above, in fact I did before the kids came along. Now I'm lucky to get my hair cut every six months, I occasionally highlight my hair (do-it yourself style) to help hide grey I just know is there, grrr.... I bite my nails, am 20 lbs overweight,(instead of 40 I was last year) as for my clothes I'm lucky to get the chance to fold them before wrinkles set in. As for makeup, well it gives me acne, no thanks. I do sometimes feel uncomfortable going to the grocery store just down the road when I'm still in my sweats. I live in a very nice neighborhood where all the moms get decked out to get groceries. I just remind myself that this is my "alone" time for the week and I'm going to be comfortable.

[TravelingChris]

I am with Mrs. Mungo on this but it seems that most of the military moms are in agreement. Probably because we move around and see that the amount of dressing up or being put together changes based on area. It certainly isn't the same everywhere. When we moved from Belgium- a dress-up area- to a Florida island- a very casual area, the styles changed and the amount of care people put to their appearance changed but there were good people in both areas.

 

As I age, I also have found myself wanting to wear nicer clothes. I didn't used to care as much. But I don't get it- what is wrong with dressing nice for the people in the store? I may not always do that but I don't get why it would be rude to show some respect for store workers or health care workers and dress somewhat better to go to the store or doctor than if you are staying at home doing chores and homeschooling.

[AuntPol]

I don't even know what that means???? What color of hair is outdated????

 

Sorry -poor phrasing.

 

I mean I try not to let my roots/grays grow out too much before I color again.

[MrsBasil]

I wish I knew how to be that put together woman! I have spent my entire adult life lamenting the fact that I have no idea how to wear make up or fix my hair so it is flattering. My dh says I am really beautiful...but he is biased. :D

 

Faithe

 

:iagree: It never turns out well when I do try. :lol: I have spent 30 minutes carefully styling my hair with product, the "right brushes", and my hair dryer and it always looks the same as when I don't bother within, oh....an hour and a half.

 

 

REALLY? Wow, because almost every mom I know -- from church and my neighborhood -- looks attractive in a natural way, and I can easily imagine that they don't have to spend *too* much time getting that way.

 

Hair cut in an attractive, easy-to-care-for style? (Every six weeks)

Hair colored if necessary? (A once-a-month job)

Nails manicured, or at least filed nicely? (Once every week or so)

A reasonably toned, fit body? (Varies, but shouldn't take up too much time each day)

Clothes that color-coordinate and add to your general attractiveness? (Varies, but it shouldn't be that hard)

A bit of makeup slapped on in the morning? (Five minutes)

 

We're not talking about breaking budgets or spending hours in the bathroom here. At least I'm not. If you and OP are talking about women who look like they're going to the prom every time they step out of the house, that's another story.

 

For me, some of those things would be a budget buster though. A haircut every 6 weeks, a weekly trip to attend to my nails, spending extra on make up, and so on are not currently affordable fun for me.

 

I have friends and family members who are always put together and look really nice. Designer clothes or, at least, several steps up from what I wear. :) Make up, hair done, purses to coordinate with their outfits and none of that has any bearing on their personality. My thoughts when I see such a person tend to be, I wish I knew her secret for using eyeliner.

[asta]

The secret is uniforms.

 

All pants are the same. Same brand, same cut, same. Maybe two different colors (black or dark brown or navy or khaki).

 

If you're a skirt wearer, same thing.

 

Two or three different shirts in two or three colors that complement the pants. Say, an oxford-y shirt, a knit type shirt, and some type of sleeveless shirt that can 'go under' the oxford shirt as a combo thing or by itself when hot. Think very basic: red, blue, black, white, pink, etc.

 

Well made, comfortable shoes that can be resoled (you can get a decent ten plus years out of a pair like that). Lightish and Dark. You have to be able to rotate or they'll rot. A pair of moderate heels that are "walkable".

 

Scarves. There are always scarves at discount stores. They have a 'bonus' in that they can be jauntily tied around your head to make your hair look fun and fresh.

 

Can't wear / don't like make-up? Eh. Put something on your lips. Buy a bag of frozen berries and throw them in the freezer. Keep one berry defrosting in the fridge in one of those tiny snack bags or a wee bowl. Crush it and smear it on your lips as a stain. Voila. You look smashing and fresh.

 

Guys wear uniforms (suits) - that's why they look "put together" and it only takes them 20 seconds to get ready. Women need uniforms.

 

 

a

[HappyCrazyMama]

I tend to think, "Why I can't be a little more like that?" :)

:iagree: Me too.:)

 

Originally Posted by Rebecca VA

REALLY? Wow, because almost every mom I know -- from church and my neighborhood -- looks attractive in a natural way, and I can easily imagine that they don't have to spend *too* much time getting that way.

 

Hair cut in an attractive, easy-to-care-for style? (Every six weeks)

Hair colored if necessary? (A once-a-month job)

Nails manicured, or at least filed nicely? (Once every week or so)

A reasonably toned, fit body? (Varies, but shouldn't take up too much time each day)

Clothes that color-coordinate and add to your general attractiveness? (Varies, but it shouldn't be that hard)

A bit of makeup slapped on in the morning? (Five minutes)

 

We're not talking about breaking budgets or spending hours in the bathroom here. At least I'm not. If you and OP are talking about women who look like they're going to the prom every time they step out of the house, that's another story.

It is interesting how things vary by location. I only know one mom who might do all those things.

Me?

Haircut once a year maybe. I get a cut that will look fine growing out.

No hair color.

I cut my nails when they start to look rough, rarely file and never polish.

I do run 4-5 days a week.:)

Clothes are typically a jeans, capris, or skirt with a clean shirt.

Make-up usually only for church or other social gatherings but not always. I tend to vary on this one and go though times of putting on make-up daily or always when leaving.

 

While I don't think I have that polished look I do think I look just fine which is good enough for me.:)

[Sevilla]

Guys wear uniforms (suits) - that's why they look "put together" and it only takes them 20 seconds to get ready. Women need uniforms.

ITA - this is an excellent way of stating it. If you can put together a flattering uniform and just change up the pieces you have a complete wardrobe.

[Abigail4476]

Few of us over 21 roll out of bed with our hair and makeup looking just right. :D

 

I totally have a friend who does this. She's slim, pretty, has great hair, and she actually does get out of bed looking great. She can basically get dressed, brush her teeth, run a comb through her hair, slap on some lip gloss and she looks drop-dead gorgeous.

 

...I'd rather hang around with other women who put kids ahead of vanity. On the other hand, hygiene is appreciated! :lol:

 

I think I understand what you're saying, but I think it's a bit judgmental to assume that someone who *looks* put-together is someone who possibly puts vanity ahead of kids. Maybe they get up an hour before their kids everyone morning to work out, shower, do their hair and put on their make-up? Even if they do spend more time (and that's debatable), what makes you think their kids suffer for it? :001_huh:

[Mom-ninja.]

The first thing I wonder is where they are from.

 

Women (in general) in Europe don't even think about leaving the house if they are not "put together."

 

When I lived in Germany, my Italian friend always teased me for going to the grocery store in *gasp* tennis shoes, no make up, and hair in a pony tail. I, of course, teased her for going to the grocery store dressed in a pencil skirt, ironed blouse, heels, and perfect hair. :D

 

So, I always think of what culture she may be from.

[SeekingHim77]

Interesting topic. I find that when I get judgemental (and I do sometimes) of those "always have it together perfectly" women, it's usually because I feel inferior (if I'm honest with myself).

 

I've done both sides of the argument. I used to wear bum clothes unless I was going somewhere special and I'm sure my poor husband probably felt like he was last on my list of people to look nice for.

 

That was years ago and now I try to keep it simple but attractive. I get dressed in "real clothes" every day (as opposed to "fake clothes"?!:glare:), put on very light, natural looking make-up and fix my hair (which consists of a good blow drying or brushing). I'm also a big believer in the fact that a litte lip color makes a world of difference! This whole routines takes 10-30 minutes-depending on whether or not I wash my hair that morning. I feel much better about myself and am now ready to meet whatever comes my way. How many times has surprise company showed up or I've run into someone I haven't seen in ages or I've had to make a sudden trip somewhere looking like I just rolled out of bed! It's nice to be prepared a bit more.

 

That said, 10 minutes was sometimes a lot to ask for when mine were babies. Different seasons in life call for different measures.

[Mom-ninja.]

You know, I just got done watching the 4th DVD of House of Elliot (BBC) and all I kept doing is wistfully dreaming that we would all wear hats again. There was something nice about having a standard. Now our only standard is that there's no standard. Hence butt cracks, and thongs, and the prison walk.

 

Off to check Netflix. I love the 40s era of clothing standard. So pretty. I would like to see a return to a standard of dress.....and manners.

 

 

 

BTW - to the poster I quoted - my post is not directed at you, particularly, but it is an example of why I am responding the way I am....

 

 

Ok - so I'm not in the "kate spade handbag" league of "put-togetherness"... in fact - most of my clothes come from stores with grocery carts.

But - I have seen a recurring theme on these boards that women who are thin, work out, put on makeup and well fitting clothes and try to look nice for their husbands have their priorities wrong....

huh???

OK - it takes me about 30 minutes to shower, fix my hair, put on make-up, and be ready to get out the door. 30 minutes. How much time do ya'll spend on these boards??? Probably more than that. I have cute, clean, casual clothes ready to wear, and work out three or four days a week (for health as well as looks). I eat well because I feel better when I do. And yes - I like to look good for my DH.

But - I spend almost all my time either homeschooling, being the committee chair for our Boy Scout troop, running my sons to sports stuff, taking care of my house,,, etc.

So - because I do this with makeup on and I take care of myself my priorities are wrong? Because I want my DH to be mentally, emotionally AND physically attracted to me - I am shallow?

I don't have a problem with people who do or do not bother with makeup, or whatever. I have wonderful friends at both ends of the spectrum there. I do have a problem with people who try to justify their behavior or make themselves feel superior by judging others.

 

:iagree:

 

 

 

On the topic of trophy wives.....I bought a T-shirt (think tight and form fitting) with the words "Trophy Wife" on it as a surprise gag gift for DH. One night after the kids were in bed, I popped it on, and strolled in front of dh. He thought it was hysterical.