My Parents Drugged Me author unknown

[clarkacademy]

My Parents Drugged Me.

 

 

Some of you folks with a little age on you will apprecitate this. The author is unknown:

 

 

 

GOD BLESS THE PARENTS WHO DRUGGED US..

 

The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question.

 

"Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"

 

I replied I had a drug problem when I was young: I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals. I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.

 

I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults. I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.

 

I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.

 

I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cocklebur's out of dad's fields.

 

I was drug to the homes of family, friends and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.

 

Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

 

God bless the parents who drugged us.

 

[LauraGB]

:)

 

Thanks for that. I think that might be the first time I looked back on all the "drugging" and smiled.

[Murphy101]

Like!:hurray:

[Serenade]

I like that, too.

[Guest momk2000]

Like!:hurray:

 

:iagree:

[mazakaal]

:thumbup:

[Hedgehog]

:thumbup1:

[Liz CA]

This somehow reminded me of something Paul Harvey would say. Perhaps it was him!

[Heather in Neverland]

Awesome

[unsinkable]

Thumbs down.

 

Cutesy stories that romaticize getting "drug to the woodshed" make me sick.

 

Getting "drug to the woodshed" over a bad report card? Great advice! Awesome! Let's hit kids who get bad grades! LOOOOOOVE.

 

Not.

Edited June 7, 2011 by unsinkable

[Lizzie in Ma]

love

[farmgirlinwv]

Thumbs down.

 

Cutesy stories that romaticize getting "drug to the woodshed" make me sick.

 

Getting "drug to the woodshed" over a bad report card? Great advice! Awesome! Let's hit kids who get bad grades! LOOOOOOVE.

 

Not.

 

:chillpill: You may have missed the gist of the story due to your own baggage.

 

I am happy to say I was "drugged" by my parents too. I am thankful for it. FTR, I don't "drug" my child for bad grades, but I do know some kids who get bad grades simply because they are lazy. They might be in need of some kind of "drug" to motivate them a little! my .02

[Angel]

and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.

God bless the parents who drugged us. [/indent]

 

:iagree:

:lol: to the rest!

[simka2]

This one is hitting a nerve with me today. More it is making me sad. I used to take comfort and humor from little sayings like this. Yesterday, my son was diagnosed with ADHD and an Impulse disorder.

 

My poor kid. He recieved many spankings he never should have. I thought with enough structure, consistent discipline, and love...he would be fine. Active, but fine. Watching him this morning after one dose is making me cry. He is still him, but in control. Thinking not just reacting.

 

Yes, I am over analyzing. I just wish I had "drug" him less, and "drugged" him sooner.

[Tangerine]

Strangely I had a gentle loving mother AND have never done meth.

[KrissiK]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

[Danestress]

but I agree with Unsinkable. I don't think harsh physical discipline of children was a great idea in the past, and I don't think it's a great idea now. Nothing to really "like" about it in my book. I think we can disagree on this without insinuating that the other person has "baggage" needs to "chill" or is otherwise a problem themselves. Can't we just say we disagree and why?

[LibraryLover]

:grouphug: I agree. These things never make me laugh. They tend to make me feel very sad. Why do people think treating children this way is funny? I also cringe when I hear The William Tell Mom Somg.

 

This one is hitting a nerve with me today. More it is making me sad. I used to take comfort and humor from little sayings like this. Yesterday, my son was diagnosed with ADHD and an Impulse disorder.

 

My poor kid. He recieved many spankings he never should have. I thought with enough structure, consistent discipline, and love...he would be fine. Active, but fine. Watching him this morning after one dose is making me cry. He is still him, but in control. Thinking not just reacting.

 

Yes, I am over analyzing. I just wish I had "drug" him less, and "drugged" him sooner.

[Parrothead]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

:iagree: If that young man who cornered that 65-year old teacher had been drug to the woodshed a time or two for disrespect I don't think he would have been socked in the mouth by his teacher.

 

Even if all that happened in the woodshed was physical labor for being disrespectful.

[ocelotmom]

Thumbs down.

 

Cutesy stories that romaticize getting "drug to the woodshed" make me sick.

 

Getting "drug to the woodshed" over a bad report card? Great advice! Awesome! Let's hit kids who get bad grades! LOOOOOOVE.

 

Not.

 

Not to mention that drug problems aren't new. Just the forms they take.

[Tangerine]

Not to mention that drug problems aren't new. Just the forms they take.

 

 

:iagree: And that meth has completely changed the face of drug abuse, because of the drug itself, not the abuser.

[Garga]

This one is hitting a nerve with me today. More it is making me sad. I used to take comfort and humor from little sayings like this. Yesterday, my son was diagnosed with ADHD and an Impulse disorder.

 

My poor kid. He recieved many spankings he never should have. I thought with enough structure, consistent discipline, and love...he would be fine. Active, but fine. Watching him this morning after one dose is making me cry. He is still him, but in control. Thinking not just reacting.

 

Yes, I am over analyzing. I just wish I had "drug" him less, and "drugged" him sooner.

 

 

:grouphug:I've been there, too. Oh, the guilt. You can grieve over those mistakes of the past, but soon, you can look to the future.

 

We talk very openly with my son about his adhd and how we made mistakes about it. We try to acknowledge how we didn't know what to do with his wild ways (and we keep it lighthearted and not too heavy, but still acknowledge it), and then we move ahead to the future. For example, I will act out what he was like in the shopping cart at the grocery store, but I'll make it very funny. I'll say how the other (boring) babies were sitting there looking around, but how HE was flinging around and grabbing at things and arching out of the cart and we were sure he'd fall out one day... I make it sound very funny, as if he was very special, but also pointing out that we didn't know what to do.

 

We talk about how his brain is amazing and can do many things at the same time, but how the medicine helps him to pick which thing he wants to think about without the other thoughts trying to get in the way.

[Happy2BaMom]

Sorry, but I'm with the "let's not romanticize washing the mouth out with soap" crowd.

 

It is interesting to me that I hear odes - this is not the first - to the "good ole days" when kids where 'drug by the ears, drug to the woodshed, drug to the sink for the soap treatment' as the answer to "kids today", and we completely ignore the fact that, in the "good ole days" parents & extended families spent A LOT more time together (and I'm glad to see this ode mention that fact)....perhaps that has a lot more to do with the better-behaved-children-of-yesteryear than the soap-in-the-mouth?

 

And, for the record, I am not anti-spanking. I don't use it, but I have friends who have/do (who are of a much calmer temperment than I), who are not abusive.

 

Also for the record, I still have memories of having my mouth washed out with soap, and, yes, it did stop me from saying bad words in front of my parents. But you would NOT believe the words I thought about them inside of my head....for a long, long time.

[elegantlion]

I get the sentiment behind the original, but it strikes a nerve with me as well. I'm all for instilling values, but I don't "drug" my child anywhere. I help him on the journey, and I listen, as he he helps me be a better parent.

 

As an alternative I offer this classic from Single Dad Laughing, You just broke your child. http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/you-just-broke-your-child.html

 

Here's an excerpt.

 

"Every child has the innate right to be happy, and giggle, and laugh, and play. Why aren't you letting them? Every child on earth has the right to a dad who thinks before he speaks; a dad who understands the great power that has been given to him to ultimately shape another human being's life; a dad who loves his child more than he loves his television shows or sports games; a dad who loves his child more than his material junk; a dad who loves his child more than his time. Every child deserves a superhero dad."

[Murphy101]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

 

:iagree:

[Mimm]

I didn't want to be a downer, but yeah, I agree that I didn't find this cute at all. Maybe I have too many vivid memories of getting my mouth washed out with soap (my mom used a bar of soap and would grind it on our teeth so we'd have a harder time washing it out of our mouth). I get the intention of the quote in the original post, expressing a disapproval for overly permissive parenting and while I agree, I don't think the answer is to be overly nostalgic about what I consider borderline abusive parenting practices of the past.

[Gailmegan]

I get the sentiment behind the original, but it strikes a nerve with me as well. I'm all for instilling values, but I don't "drug" my child anywhere. I help him on the journey, and I listen, as he he helps me be a better parent.

 

As an alternative I offer this classic from Single Dad Laughing, You just broke your child. http://www.danoah.com/2010/09/you-just-broke-your-child.html

 

Here's an excerpt.

 

"Every child has the innate right to be happy, and giggle, and laugh, and play. Why aren't you letting them? Every child on earth has the right to a dad who thinks before he speaks; a dad who understands the great power that has been given to him to ultimately shape another human being's life; a dad who loves his child more than he loves his television shows or sports games; a dad who loves his child more than his material junk; a dad who loves his child more than his time. Every child deserves a superhero dad."

 

:iagree: Thanks for sharing. I may get that book for my husband for Father's Day

[sassyscrapperinid]

that is awesome!!! thanks!

[Lady Florida.]

I'm not a fan of We didn't have problems/Things were better in My Day essays. It just wasn't true. The reality is that instead of getting people help for drug or alcohol problems in the "good ole days", it was just covered up.

[Happy2BaMom]

I think we can disagree on this without insinuating that the other person has "baggage" needs to "chill" or is otherwise a problem themselves. Can't we just say we disagree and why?

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Debbie in OR]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

 

Excellent. (Wish I'd written it) :)

[Rivka]

Not cute/funny/cool to me either. I completely agree that good parenting involves discipline and setting standards, but this isn't about that. It's equating good parenting with force.

 

I've worked with a lot of drug addicts. Without exception, they all got at least ten times more physical punishment and more arbitrary adult demands for instant obedience than I did. Force isn't the answer.

[LibraryLover]

Not cute/funny/cool to me either. I completely agree that good parenting involves discipline and setting standards, but this isn't about that. It's equating good parenting with force.

 

I've worked with a lot of drug addicts. Without exception, they all got at least ten times more physical punishment and more arbitrary adult demands for instant obedience than I did. Force isn't the answer.

 

 

I wouldn't know where to find the stats on this, but I do remember reading that the majoirty of criminals serving hard time in prisons where physically disciplined to a much hiigher degree than the non -criminal population...taken to the 'virtual' woodshed many times. Brute force is not the same as setting standards for nomral child behavior.

[plansrme]

When posting something like this (which clearly isn't meant to be taken literally--really, who even knows what a woodshed is any more?), or the article on food stamps and soft drinks, or Denise's "I may have overreacted" post, to name a few from the last week or so, provokes so much controversy and argument, what, exactly, have we all come to?

 

I don't get the point of analyzing and nitpicking something like the original post, or any of the above-mentioned issues, to death, and it makes me sad that this is what the board has become. Perhaps it will be better when summer is over, and we all have less time on our hands.

 

OP--I thought the post was funny and entirely appropriate to post here.

 

Terri

[LibraryLover]

I get that some people would find it funny, but it's also OK for some of us to say that we don't find that sort of thing funny.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

LOVE IT!!! :)

[Danestress]

It's okay other people think otherwise. I think some people are very uncomfortable with disagreeing and discussing those disagreements and other people don't have a problem with it. Honestly, I wouldn't have realized anyone was taking this particular thread personally.

 

When people start getting angry, personal, defensive, that's a problem. I think that has happened a good bit on the board recently. But I don't see it in this thread at all. I just see someone posting something that they didn't write personally and other people responding to it with either kudos or criticism. That's sort of what happens on a board. As long as there aren't personal attacks and ugliness, I don't really see what the problem is.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

 

This!!!

[Parrothead]

Not cute/funny/cool to me either. I completely agree that good parenting involves discipline and setting standards, but this isn't about that. It's equating good parenting with force.

 

I've worked with a lot of drug addicts. Without exception, they all got at least ten times more physical punishment and more arbitrary adult demands for instant obedience than I did. Force isn't the answer.

And the fact that you didn't have that kind of home environment is the only reason you aren't addicted to drugs?

[Unicorn.]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

 

:iagree: Thanks for sharing OP

[Julie Smith]

I agree with some of the others. I think it's a sad, creepy story of lack of understanding and respect for a child.

[Nakia]

I chuckled when I read it, but maybe that's because I'm one of those parents who stills drags mine to the "woodshed" from time to time.

[kalanamak]

but I agree with Unsinkable. I don't think harsh physical discipline of children was a great idea in the past, and I don't think it's a great idea now. Nothing to really "like" about it in my book. I think we can disagree on this without insinuating that the other person has "baggage" needs to "chill" or is otherwise a problem themselves. Can't we just say we disagree and why?

 

My folks never "drug" me to church, the woodshed, the bar of soap, charity work, etc. What they did do was set a consistent model of self-control, austerity, hard work, study, a love of nature, and joy/laughter/jokes.

 

They would have considered "drugging" infra dig. I fail to see how I would have "baggage" if I was never "drug" anywhere.

 

(I also have to laugh about the various "rules" for making students good students (special study spot, check homework, post study schedules, etc. etc.). My folks did only ONE of, e.g. John Rosemond's list, and that was model reading, and still 6 of us managed to do college and more.)

[Guest Dulcimeramy]

This one is hitting a nerve with me today. More it is making me sad. I used to take comfort and humor from little sayings like this. Yesterday, my son was diagnosed with ADHD and an Impulse disorder.

 

My poor kid. He recieved many spankings he never should have. I thought with enough structure, consistent discipline, and love...he would be fine. Active, but fine. Watching him this morning after one dose is making me cry. He is still him, but in control. Thinking not just reacting.

 

Yes, I am over analyzing. I just wish I had "drug" him less, and "drugged" him sooner.

 

:grouphug: You are a great Mama. I'm glad he's doing well on the new meds.

[Parrothead]

For those how are appalled by the story I have questions simply out of curiosity.

 

Do you make your children go to church (or whatever your family does for spiritual needs) when they don't want to go?

 

Do you make your children go places they need to be (family reunions, doctor's office, siblings recitals) even though they don't want to go?

 

Do you allow disrespectful behavior and words from your child?

 

If your child blatantly disobeys are their sever consequences?

 

Do you allow mouthiness?

 

Do you make your kids do chores? What if they don't want to?

 

Do you make your kids do some kind of community service or give back to the community in some way? Volunteer at the local soup kitchen or some such? What if they don't want to?

 

What do you do or say to your children to get results? Or do you not expect anything from them?

 

I understand that there are ways to get compliance without constant spankings. I'm just wondering what it looks like in your home.

[LibraryLover]

I do think people tend to romanticize the past. The good old days were't really *that* good. A lot kids, then, as now, falter, and whether they were smacked around in the woodshed is not going to change a learning disability any more than going to church is going to keep a person on the straight and narrow.

Edited June 7, 2011 by LibraryLover

[lovemyboys]

I think the story was great and if you focus too much on the specifics you are completely missing the point. The point is.... the child was "drug to church" - he was raised with a values system. There are things that are right and wrong. He was "drug to the woodshed".... there are consequences and not excuses for bad behavior. The whole bad grades thing...it's not that the kid had a learning disability and parents who did not understand. The point is... laziness and disrespect are not acceptable. In years past kids were taught to work hard and not play the victim. The kid in the story was raised that you help others who are in need of help without asking for anything in return because that's the right thing to do.

 

 

Yes! :iagree:

The OP reminds me of Carroll O'Connor (Archie Bunker) and his poignant tv ad about his son. He looked straight at the camera and said, "get between your kid and drugs any way you can."

 

And here's a list of values and activities to do just that -- put positive goals and aspirations in your children's hearts and minds -- keep them busy helping others and developing skills, participating, improving themselves.

 

Great post. Gotta admit, you had me at the title, OP.

[sassyscrapperinid]

well.... I thought I would add that my brother and I are 9 years apart. My mother parented me in ways that some- okay alot might view as abusive. She was extremely strict and physical when it came to discipline and drugged me plenty but not to church- LOL. I ended up going to church with relatives or friends. My brother was never disciplined at all beyond being gently talked to. Who had the drug problem? Not me, he did. Who was completely disrespectful of my mother and other adults? Not me, he was (and this did not change until about 5 years ago). Who graduated from high school? Not him, I did. Who's been in jail? Not me, him. I could go on and on. And when I look back, was it scary to be a kid sometimes for me? Sure. BUT I am glad that she raised me with discipline and taught me respect. I am SO glad I dont struggle with drug addiction and the other problems my brother has had. He is doing great now, but he had to go through so much due to the lack of discipline in his life. And also, the birth of his first of 2 daughters is what finally woke him up. I am so proud of the way he has turned himself around! The only thing that I do wish is that she would have taught me a different way of parenting. Because sadly, we learn how to parent from our parents. So, it has been a struggle at times with my own parenting. However, I am learning that parenting IS a struggle a lot of the time anyways.

I think essays like the one posted by the OP just remind us that times we are living in are different. People who do discipline their children have to be worried that the neighbor or family member wont agree with their method- no matter what it is because if they dont agree, you WILL be investigated by your local and friendly CPS agency. I hardly think soap in the mouth for swearing is borderline abusive- especially when you have tried EVERYTHING else. BTDT When my now dd16 was almost 3, her father and I were going through a bitter divorce. We had shared custody of our 2 children. My dd would come home from visiting her father saying the f word and the like. Now, I did my best to try and help her to not talk like that but thats all she heard all weekend long. I finally tearfully brushed her teeth with a tiny drop of soap on her toothbrush for about 10-20 seconds while telling her it is nasty to talk like that and that we had to clean her mouth. And she stopped after the first or second time of washing. Is is something I am proud of? Not really but I had no other way to turn at that time. People said to ignore her and she would stop. Well, I tried that and she didnt. The more I ignored her the louder she would yell these profanities, at meetings, up and down the aisles at walmart. Her father called me and said that dd told him I washed her mouth with soap. I said well, I had to help her stop saying that crap and I had tried everything else. He could hardly throw a fit since he is where she got the language from anyhow. So anyways.... Im sure there is all kinds of research saying that the drugged type of discipline actually creates criminals, but Im sure there is research to the contrary as well. In my personal experience, discipline helped not hindered. I just think that the essay isnt condoning child abuse, as much as it is supportive of discipline.

[LibraryLover]

Neither dh nor I have have spanked, pinched or otherwise physically hurt our children. We've never taken then to the woodshed. Yet they are still respectful, decent people.

 

My kids do lots of chores (they take turns cleaning the bathroom, for instance), they take care of animals, they mow, they help me plant, my oldest kids grocery shop, they cook, I've come home to a sparking kitchen after a day away, my kids get good grades, they are rsepectful and even my youngest has come along to funerals with me because as she has said, "We go to comfort the living, and out of respect for the dead". They do this beause it's what our family does: we help each other. It's too much for any one person. It's right and loving to attend your sister's art show, it's right to attend your sister's ballet performance or your brothers concerts and plays. We are a team.

 

We do have a family culture...and I can only describe that as mutual respect. We've never had issues with law, we've never had issues with alcohol or drugs.

 

I think some of this is luck, personality, no significant cognitive glitches etc. But I also think our famiily has always understaood that little children thrive on care, respect and apporproate boundaries which are not shame-or punishment based. We all make mistakes, and we learn from those mistakes. Have I taken away car privilleges? Screen time? Held a child who was thrashing about in a over-stimulated tantrum? Yes.

 

Our of our favorite authors, who inspired some of our parenting ideals and language way back when , is Eda Leshan who wrote "When Your Child Drives You Crazy". It's really for parents of little children, but it set a particular tone in our home from the begininng.

 

You asked, CHuckie, and it's hard to write this without sounding smug. I don't want it to seem that we've haven't had good rows here at times. We have. I know a lot of luck has been involved, I know the particular dynamics of my kids personalties have meshed. How much is dh and me? How much is simple nature? Nurture? It's hard to say, of course, so I am simply trying to report/answer your question in the most honest way I can.

 

I do have a challeging child (who was also born with various birth defects, some physical, some cognitive). I do have a child who joined our home (as an infant) through adoption. We have been very, very lucky, exspecially given all the variables.

 

But hitting, shaming, impossible expectations for littles...never a part of our family culture.

Edited June 13, 2011 by LibraryLover

[sassyscrapperinid]

I get that some people would find it funny, but it's also OK for some of us to say that we don't find that sort of thing funny.

 

:iagree:Everyone has an opinion and a right to it! I totally agree with that and glad you said it.:001_smile: